> Playing the Spy Game: Changelingshy
>  by Doom Trot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Thorn in my side.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"Are... are you alright, my Queen?" asked a minion as she shuffled alongside Chrysalis, who stalked about the chamber with her eyes fixed on the letter she held with her magic.  
Chrysalis responded with nothing more than an aggravated hiss, startling the minion.  
"M-my Queen!  What troubles you?"
"That is none of your concern," she growled, not looking away from the document.  "Get back to work."
"Y-yes, my Queen!" stammered the minion, stumbling away to rejoin the changelings who were repairing the pillars in the room.
Chrysalis mumbled something incomprehensible, then glanced away from the letter, briefly surveying the progress her minions had made in repairing the map room.
"Hello?" asked a less submissive changeling from the chamber's entrance.  "Chrysalis?  You needed me?"
"Ah, Raze," said Chrysalis, turning to face the changeling commando.  "You took your time getting here.  Did you get lost?"
"Eh, I didn't know we had a map room," he replied, looking past Chrysalis to study the drones repairing the walls.  "Let alone a broken one.  Construction slows traffic, you know."
"Well, I'm sorry for the inconvenience," she hissed, flicking her tongue in disdain.  "But my reason for calling you here is far too important to allow you time to amble."
Looking frustrated, Raze stepped forward, asking impatiently, "What is it, then?  What's so important that I had to quit my study session?"
"Th—" Chrysalis began, only to stop and blink in confusion.  "Study session?  What are you studying?"
"Fighting styles," answered Raze, shrugging.  "Among other things.  Out with it, then.  What do you need from me?"
Chrysalis scowled at Raze, but began reverently, "It is a matter concerning... dragons."
Raze blinked, then turned an about-face and began for the exit, shouting, "Nope!"
"Stop right there!" commanded Chrysalis, causing Raze to stop and turn to face her with a pleading look in his eye.
"You know I don't work well with dragons!" whined Raze, stomping his hooves as a foal throwing a tantrum would.  "They're big, and scaly, and mean!"
"Get a hold a hold of yourself!" snapped Chrysalis, Raze's fit meeting its end.  With a glance to the letter she held beside her head, Chrysalis said, "You will not be directly dealing with dragons."
Raze breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling lightheartedly before saying, "Thank goodness!  What's the mission, then?"
"You will be gathering information on the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy," answered Chrysalis.  Gesturing to the letter, she spitefully added, "According to this, she's bested a dragon on her own."
Raze's relaxed smile disappeared, replaced by a look of fear.  In his mind flashed images of a monstrous dragon struggling against shackles, toiling in flaming ruin, only to be tossed about by a yellow pegasus standing atop its head and laughing maniacally.  Chrysalis raised an eyebrow when Raze's knees began to tremble, his breathing becoming shallow.
"What's gotten into you?" she asked.
"I'mma scared!" whimpered Raze, falling to his stomach and covering his eyes.  "A pony that can beat a dragon is a pony that can beat a changeling!"
Chrysalis sighed, lowering the letter to the ground in front of Raze, saying, "Just read the report."
Raze peeked from between his hooves, then sat up, plucking the letter off the ground and reading it carefully.  Scratching behind his ear, he asked, "Who wrote this?  It's based on gossip."
"You remember Nymph, right?" responded Chrysalis.
"Nymph?!" Raze shouted, tossing aside the letter.  "Where is he stationed at?"
"He is busy keeping me up to date on urban developments," answered Chrysalis, shaking her head.  "But that isn't important.  What intrigues me is that he reported on one of the Elements of Harmony, even if none of them have recently visited his area."
"Well, those Six did win against the scary moon princess," Raze observed, standing and retrieving the letter with his magic.  "It only makes sense that they'd be the talk of Equestria."
"Perhaps..." said Chrysalis.  "Yet I can't ignore even a rumor of a slayer of dragons.  Especially one that serves Celestia."
"So, I just... get chummy with this little 'warrior?'" asked Raze, his wings twitching in conjunction with his nervous inquiry.  
"I want clarity, Raze," answered Chrysalis.  "If she truly is greater than all powers draconic, then we must take greater care in our work.  We cannot risk making her an enemy... yet."
"Um... my Queen?" quietly asked the drone who had been "accompanying" Chrysalis, inspecting a crack in one of the room's pillars.
"What?!" yelled Chrysalis in response.
"Nothing!  Nothing!" stammered the drone, running a tentative hoof across the face of the fracture.  
She drew away with a gasp, however, as the crack reacted to her touch, spreading up the pillar at a rapid pace.
With an agitated grunt, Chrysalis turned her attention back to Raze, stern as she said, "Report to the weapon's lab.  You will be provided more helpful equipment for this assignment than that you were provided for the last, as this assignment will require more intricate procedure."
Sighing, Raze nodded, saying, "Very well."  
He turned to exit the chamber.

Crick, crick... crack!

Thunk.

The world spun for a moment as the heavy chunk of ceiling split in half, having landed squarely on Raze's crown.  Then he fell with a quiet groan, his vision darkening.
"Well, great..." murmured Chrysalis, turning a sneer to the drone who had caused the collapse.  
She giggled innocently, cleared her throat, then crossed her forelegs, shoulders hunched as she mumbled, "Sorry about that."





"Thorn?!" called a changeling as he hastily flitted to and fro down the hallways.  "Thorn, where are you?!"  
He darted past an open doorway, then landed and skidded to a halt.  Circling around, he peered inside to see a changeling lounging in a corner, reading a book titled "Exotic Fighting Styles."  Below the title were strange characters from some foreign language that the changeling seeking Thorn could not recognize.
"Thorn?" he asked, taking a cautious step inside.  "What in Chrysalis's name are you doing in a commando's quarters?"
"Reading," she answered casually, flipping the page.  "What are you doing in a commando's quarters?"
Shaking his head, the changeling hurried into the room, impatient as he asked, "You know that cure-all elixir that you were tampering with?"
"Uh-huh," answered Thorn, nodding slowly as she read.
"Well, could it possibly help an individual who's sustained a nasty blow to the head?" asked he, tapping his hoof.
"Oooh!" lauded Thorn as she read something particularly impressive.  Looking up, she asked, "What?"
"Head injuries!" shouted the changeling, his wings buzzing angrily.  "Can your medicine treat head injuries?"
"Oh.  I guess," she said with a shrug, returning her attention to her book.  
The changeling standing before Thorn bunched his cheeks, growling quietly, then turned and exited the room.  Thorn read on, then gasped, slamming shut the book.
"He wasn't talking about Serum X-43, was he?" she asked aloud, staring into the hallway.  After a moment, she hummed a note in thought, then flipped open to where she'd left off.  
"Probably not."



   

When Raze finally began to regain consciousness, he was first met with a lone changeling standing over him.  Raze could tell he was speaking, but couldn't make out the words.  Shaking away his blurred focus, the changeling's words began to become comprehensible.
"—can't believe it worked!" he said, smiling at Raze.  "I knew Thorn was bright, but I didn't know she could make something like this."
He examined an empty vial, marveling at it before looking to Raze, who was straining to remain conscious.
"What are you talking about?" asked Raze, propping himself up on what appeared to be a simple wooden table.  "What worked?"
"Serum X-43 is what worked!" jubilantly answered the changeling, holding higher the empty vial.  "A stimulant, antibiotic, and source of nutrients all in one!"
Raze gingerly felt for where he had been struck by a fragment of falling ceiling, wincing upon nudging the bruise.  He willed himself to stand, even if he was still dizzy and confused.
"Swell," said Raze, placing a hoof on his temple.  "Now how long have I been out?"
The physician's wings twitched as he donned a puzzled expression, saying, "You woke up not one minute ago.  You can't seriously be considering—"
"How long have I been out?" Raze repeated sharply, dropping his hoof with a firm scowl.
"Eh, about fifteen minutes, give or take," answered the physician, eyeing Raze solicitously.  "Please, stay and rest for just a minute longer.  Field work will only worsen your—"
"Where's my gear?" asked Raze, glancing about the tables lined with chemistry equipment and other, more odd instruments.
"Excuse me?" asked the physician in disbelief.  "Are you even listening?  You may have suffered a serious—"
"Gear.  Now," said Raze, his impatient scowl now furrowed into a glowering glare.
"Uh... v-very well," mumbled the physician.  "Right this way."  
He turned, trotting away at a brisk pace.  Raze followed behind, sucking in terse breaths as he worked to ignore his pain.

"Seeing as how electrocution tends to have lingering effects," began the physician, eyeing the assorted items that laid on the tables he passed, "many of which are very noticeable, we've decided to supply you with a more subtle means by which to incapacitate ponies."  
Arriving at a somewhat isolated table, atop which rested a shiny, metal safe locked by a combination wheel, the physician nodded, gripping the combination wheel with magic.  Inputting the combination faster than Raze could process, the physician pulled down on the safe's lever with his hoof, opening it to reveal a dark blue night mask.
"A night mask?" asked Raze, swiping the mask from the safe and eyeing it with disapproval.  "How is this better than the zaffy?"
Frowning, the physician answered, "It doesn't leave burn marks."
"Well, obviously," Raze murmured, shaking his head.  "What I meant is how does this work better than the zaffy?  If a pony is already asleep, then what point is there in putting this on them?"
The physician grabbed the mask from Raze's hoof, placing it over the commando's eyes.  In seconds, Raze was no longer standing upright, his head propped against the physician's hoof as he snored quietly.  The physician removed the mask, after which Raze took a few seconds to wake again.  
"Okay, I see what you mean," muttered Raze, rubbing at his eyes as he stood. "Not as comedic as the zaffy, but it'll work."
"'Not as comedic?'" breathed the physician, slamming shut the safe.  "You can't be serious!"
"I'm kidding!" said Raze, shaking his head with a chuckle.  "Give me some credit.  I know what I'm doing out there."
"One can only hope," murmured the physician, turning and beginning for the next table with the night mask in his magical hold.  "This way.  Come along."

"Now what have we here?" asked Raze as he eyed a large vat of colorful gumballs.  "Thorn's work, I'm guessing?"
"Correct," said the physician, removing a single gumball from the vat with his magic.  "They've been infused with a toxin that induces forgetfulness."
"Like the amnesia powder I used on my first mission in Ponyville?" asked Raze.
"Yes," answered the physician with a nod, "the same toxin was utilized in the amnesia powder, but that application was a bit crude."
He dropped the suspended gumball into his hoof.
"Thorn has designed these to function in a far more subtle way.  Rather than erase memory outright, whoever is chewing one of these gumballs will become unfocused and unable to maintain their train of thought.  This should allow you clearance to investigate through means that would otherwise cause suspicion."
By this point, Raze was biting his lip in an attempt to stifle his giggling.
Confused, the physician asked, "What's so funny?"
"So, these could be called 'dumbballs,' then?" said Raze, chuckling to himself.
The physician blinked once, then said, "I don't get it."
Raze frowned, saying, "What's not to get?  You chew them and lose track of everything.  Gumballs.  Dumbballs."
Raze hunched his shoulders with an expectant grin as he awaited a more positive response from the physician.  He received only a blank stare.
"Sort of like a 'dumbbell,' but they're gumballs," mumbled Raze, his gusto now waning.
The physician smiled warily, mumbling, "Oh, yes, I... see.  Anyway, moving along."  
He turned and began walking away, plucking a plastic bag filled with the dumbballs off the ground beside the vat.
"No one appreciates my humor," dejectedly whispered Raze as he shuffled behind.

Arriving at another table, the physician nodded to an oil lamp with a quill, inkwell, and parchment in front of it, saying, "I trust you know what those are used for."
"I do," said Raze, glancing to the other object that rested on the table with curiosity, "but I don't know what this is used for."
"Ah, yes," began the physician, placing a hoof on the seemingly ordinary alarm clock.  "What you see here is the Supersonic Knockout Beacon.  To be used only as a last resort, the SKB emits a high-frequency ring that renders any pony within a fifty meter radius unconscious.  It does not, however, affect changelings.  If you need a fast escape and you have no other way of getting out of trouble, then use this."
Raze grabbed the clock, holding it to his ear and shaking it lightly.
"Last resort only," repeated Raze.  "Got it."
"Very good," said the physician, bringing forth a simple saddlebag and beginning to place Raze's equipment inside.  "Now, sir, I have to ask one last time: are you sure you're feeling up to this?  You were knocked unconscious by a slab of ceiling.  Hardy as you may be, that's a lot to merely shrug off."
Raze impatiently took the saddlebag from the physician, strapping it on and answering, "I'm fine.  Believe me when I tell you that I've shrugged off worse."
"Alright then," mumbled the physician, rubbing his neck.  "Good luck on your mission."
Raze nodded, then turned and flew off.  The physician watched him go, wincing as the commando faltered, if only for a brief moment.  The physician sighed, quickly busying himself with tidying the lab.





Minutes after Raze's departure, Thorn came happily trotting back into the lab, returning to her work station.  She looked to a rack of vials, each of them filled with the same bluish liquid, then removed one with her magic, looking it over for a minute.  Her eyes widened, however, as she looked back to the rack, replacing the vial and putting a hoof to her chin.  
"Hey!" she cried, turning to the physician who had prepped Raze.  "I'm missing a vial full of an experimental serum.  Have you seen it?"
"I have," answered the physician.  "I used it to revive Agent Raze before he embarked on his assignment."
Thorn jumped, suspending herself with frantic wing beats as she screamed, "You what?!"
The physician cringed, defensive as he said, "I asked you before I gave it to him!"
"Ugh!" Thorn cried, covering her face.  "Nincompoop!"
"Excuse me?" he asked, sounding offended.
Thorn rushed at the physician, pressing her nose into his.
"You never said that you were administering to an agent about to leave on an assignment!" shouted Thorn, jabbing the physician's chest.
"Well, what's the big deal?" he asked, shoving Thorn away.  
Thorn hovered just above the ground, crossing her forelegs and shaking her head.
"There's a reason I haven't presented the serum to Chrysalis yet," she said, scowling at the physician.  "No matter how effective it is now, there's one little bug I have yet to work out."
"And that would be?" asked the physician, looking more concerned than he did a few seconds ago.
"It shorts out shape shifting!" Thorn yelled, grabbing the physician by the head and shaking him vigorously.
Pulling away from Thorn, the physician said, "I-I'm sorry!  I had no idea!"
Thorn sighed, pointing at the physician and asking, "How long ago did he leave?"
"Only five minutes ago!  I'm sure you can catch him if you hurry!"
"I'll be fast then!" Thorn declared, turning and jetting away.  "If Chrysalis asks, it's all your fault!"
The physician stared blankly in the direction Thorn had flown away in, then gulped, putting a hoof to his chest.  
"Please, oh please don't let her ask..." 





The morning after the events of Dragonshy... 

Perched daintily on a scraggly branch jutting from a tree at the edge of the Everfree Forest, Thorn's wings twitched as she scanned what she could see of Ponyville.  
"You can do this," she whispered, crouching on her perch and leaping to the ground.  "Any old changeling can."  
Trotting in place for a moment, Thorn stomped, clenching her teeth and activating her shape shifting magic.  After a sputtering gout of green flame, a pegasus collapsed from where Thorn had been standing.  Breathing a half-exhausted, half-relieved sigh, she pushed herself part the way up, feeling somewhat nauseous.
"Okay, maybe not any," she muttered, clutching her stomach with a groan.  
Taking a deep breath, Thorn steadied herself and took to examining her new hooves.
"No physiological deformities," she said, blowing lightly on her hoof before rubbing it against her chest.  "Not the most pleasant shade of white, but normal enough."
She ran a hoof through her new mane, her tongue hanging from the corner of her lip as she surveyed its texture and length.
She held out a thin lock, frowning as she said, "Well, that's an ugly green."  Raising an eyebrow in response to her own observation, she added, "Ugly is good.  Ugly is ignored."
She glanced behind her, smirking upon seeing her cutie mark.
"Well, my tail turned out less than perfect, but at least I got one thing right," she said, holding out her hind leg to get a better view of the test tube depicted on her flank.
"Alright, what else..." she mumbled, looking forward again.  
Pursing her lips, she put an uncertain hoof to her forehead, then dropped it with a grunt.       	                       
"Okay, no magic," she said, glancing to her folded wings.  
With a nervous hum, she unfurled one, flexing it and tucking it in once more.
"How do pegasi fly with these things?" she asked, rolling her shoulders.  "Insect wings are just so much better."  
Thorn rubbed her neck, then glanced to the Everfree not three steps behind her.  She looked forward again, jaw clamped shut as she scanned Ponyville, now fearing the worst.  With a reluctant sigh, she willed herself forward, her steps awkward and jerky.
"Just like the Hive.  Keep to yourself and only cooperate with others when necessary."





Alright, thought Raze as he stepped through a doorway made of cloud, with that mask on, our multi-hued friend won't be interfering while I find that dragon-slaying pegasus.
Kicking the door shut, he glided down from the hovering house of cloud.  Stumbling into the landing, Raze righted himself and pressed into town, attempting to shake away his disorientation.
Some medicine, doc, thought Raze, wincing as a tinge of aching within his head resurfaced.  Thought that stuff was supposed to make this head pain go away.  
Suddenly, Raze stopped himself, glancing to his newly acquired hooves.
Almost forgot.  Need to act the part.  Lopsided Loyalty here wouldn't go trotting into town.  She'd be flying.
Drawing in a tense breath, Raze spread his wings and took off.  Leaving the ground, he was unsteady, nearly dropping to the ground again, but he managed to keep his wings beating with enough force to fly.
Holy sclerite, this is difficult!  Better be sure to take it easy as often as I can.	
Aside from entering Ponyville at a speed far slower than what Rainbow Dash would normally be flying at, Raze arrived in town's square without a hitch, landing and seeking out some lead to Fluttershy from the ponies who were (crazy enough to be) awake at this hour.





Within thirty seconds of Thorn setting hoof within Ponyville, she was swarmed by a blur of what Thorn supposed was a pink pony.  
Talking at a painstaking speed, Pinkie Pie bombarded Thorn with greeting, the blur of pink saying, "Hey there!  You're new to Ponyville!  Welcome to Ponyville!  My name's Pinkie Pie!  I throw parties!  Especially parties for welcoming new ponies to Ponyville, and that's just great because you're a new pony in Ponyville!"
Where is she getting all this energy? Thorn thought, unable to do anything more than smile and bear through Pinkie's welcoming barrage.
"So, tell me about yourself!" resumed Pinkie, unrelenting in her energetic to-and-fro angle, in which she ran circles around Thorn while looking her over.  "I see you're a pegasus!" she said, stretching out one of Thorn's wings for an instant, then releasing it and blurring from the ground to Thorn's back.  
Thorn responded by trying to shake her off.  Pinkie looked to Thorn's flank with a giggle, then hopped over the disgruntled changeling and landed in front of her.
"Are you a scientist?  Do you do things that are scientific-y?  Do you build stuff?" Pinkie asked in ridiculously quick succession, pausing to gasp and broaden her smile.  "Do you make things explode?"
Thorn blinked a few times, still in the process of catching up to Pinkie Pie.  With the excitable pony now standing quietly, a patient yet eager look plastered on her face, Thorn assumed she merely wanted an answer to the last question she'd asked.
"Um... sometimes," answered Thorn, Pinkie laughing in response.
"That's awesome!" shouted Pinkie.
Thorn chuckled, forcibly stating, "Yeah, awesome, but I'm afraid I can't stay and chat.  I'm actually very busy, and need to—"
"Ooh!  Don't tell me!  I bet you're off to do science-y things!" Pinkie interrupted, stepping in front of Thorn as she tried to walk away.  "There aren't a bunch of science-y things to see or do in Ponyville, but I do know one pony who would probably love to meet a scientist like yourself!"
Thorn breathed deeply, calming herself before saying, "Actually, I'm looking for someone, and I would really appreciate it if—"
"Looking for someone, you say?" said Pinkie, putting a hoof to her chin.  "Well, in that case, you've come to the right pony!"
You came to me, pop rocks, thought Thorn, biting her tongue to keep from shouting at Pinkie.
"I know everypony in Ponyville, A through Z!" chimed Pinkie.
Thorn perked up at this, releasing her tongue.
"You do?" asked Thorn.
"Yep!" answered Pinkie with a nod.  "I know them all, from Applejack to Zipidee Do!  Well, not Zipidee Do, because she moved away.  So now I guess it's just Applejack to Yo-Yo!  Yo-Yo is fun.  She always laughs when I go up to her and say, 'Yo, Yo-Yo!'  In fact, just the other day—"
"Actually, I'm not looking for a yo-yo," blurted Thorn, forcefully clearing her throat.  "I'm looking for a pegasus by the name of..."
Thorn rolled her eyes, her brow furrowed in thought.
"Flutter... something."
"Ooh!  You mean Fluttershy, right?" asked Pinkie.
"Ah, yes!" said Thorn.  "Fluttershy!  That's who I was looking for."
Pinkie Pie blinked, her smile suddenly diminished. 
"Well," she said, "I know where she lives, but she said she'd be busy all day today."
"Oh," muttered Thorn, brushing back a stray lock of mane that had been strewn over her eye.  "Busy with what?"
"Fluttershy said she'd be making birdhouses," answered Pinkie, looking to the sky in thought.
With an upraised eyebrow, Pinkie returned her gaze to Thorn, asking, "How do you know Fluttershy, anyway?"
Thorn flinched at the question, her teeth clenched as she met Pinkie's gaze.  
"Er... we met through a friend," answered Thorn, coughing quietly as she eyed her hooves.
Pinkie stroked her chin, incredulous as she said, "Fluttershy keeps a small circle of friends.  You must be talking about Rainbow Dash."
Thorn breathed a sigh, flipping her mane with a toss of the head.
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash.  She and I are tight."
Pinkie, now seemingly confused, turned away from Thorn, mumbling to herself, "First Gilda, and now this science lady.  How many other friends does Dash have that I don't know about?"
Thorn looked puzzled by the grave tone Pinkie spoke in.  
"Is it really that big a deal?"
"Come to think of it," Pinkie said, now sounding panicked, "how many friends does Rarity have that I've never met?"  She gasped, falling to her haunches and putting her hooves to her temples.  "What about Applejack?!  How many friends could she have that I still need to meet?!"
"Excuse me!" interjected Thorn.
Glancing to Thorn, Pinkie asked, "Huh?  What?"
Thorn exhaled to calm herself, then said, "Look, I just want to find Fluttershy, and I would appreciate it if you could just point me in the right direction."
Pinkie giggled, hopping to her hooves and nodding cheerfully.
"Can do!  Right this way!"





Arriving at the entrance to Ponyville's humble hardware store, Raze landed in a stumble and squeezed shut his eyes, groaning quietly.
Gnashing mandibles, my head hurts, he thought, opening his eyes and inhaling sharply.  Focus, Raze.  Find Fluttershy.  Talk about the dragon.  Leave.  Sleep this off.
Raze stared at the glass door for a moment, then pushed it open and trotted inside.  
"Can I help you?" greeted the shopkeeper with a friendly smile.
Raze returned the smile, answering coolly, "Was Fluttershy here?"
"That she was," answered the shopkeeper.  "Just this morning she came in to buy some nails.  Said she was putting together a few birdhouses, if I remember right."
"I heard the same thing," said Raze with an appreciative nod.  "Did she say where'd she be?"
"She didn't," answered the shopkeeper, "but I'm pretty sure she'd enlist some help.  Not to be mean, but she doesn't seem like the 'builder' type."
Raze snickered at this, saying, "I know what you mean."  I have no idea what you mean.  "Maybe she went to Applejack?"
"Probably," agreed the shopkeeper.  "She stocked up on tools just a week ago, so I'm sure she'd be thrilled to lend Fluttershy a hoof."
"Right," said Raze with a nod.  "Thanks."  He turned to exit as two mares pushed open the door.  
Standing in the doorway was a minty green unicorn, who said over her shoulder, "I'm telling you, if this gets any worse, I will go to the police."
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" asked the earth pony mare who the unicorn was speaking to.  "He hasn't really done anything to harass me."
"That's a lie!" retorted the unicorn, stepping inside to allow the earth pony entrance.  "His little 'pranks' just keep getting worse."
Interesting, thought Raze, glancing from the unicorn to the earth pony as the two approached the counter.  A domestic affair.  Although, this doesn't sound like it's related to Fluttershy, so I'll leave it for now.
Raze circled around the second mare to enter, nodding and saying, "Hey."
"Hey, Rainbow Dash," said the mare, joining her unicorn friend's side.  "I'm telling you, Lyra, you have nothing to worry about."   
"Yeah, we'll see about that," said the unicorn.
Raze heard nothing else of their conversation as he exited the hardware store.  He began to walk away, then paused, his brow furrowed.
Crud, he thought, I don't know where to find Applejack either.
Raze put a hoof to his head, sighing deeply.
"This is going to be a long day."





"Wow," whispered Thorn, keeping pace behind a merrily bouncing Pinkie Pie.  "Ponyville isn't anything like I expected it to be."
"No place like it!" stated Pinkie Pie.  "It might not be the biggest town in Equestria, but Ponyville is one heck of a place to party!  Although, I'm sure it must seem really quaint to you.  You've probably been here, there, and everywhere, doing science things and blowing stuff up."
"Actually, this is the first time I've ever been away from home," said Thorn, abruptly freezing up.  "Did I just say that?"
Pinkie Pie's expression changed from a blissful smile to a troubled look halfway through one of her bounds.  Rather than continue forward, she withdrew back to where she'd jumped from, as if being rewound.  
Pinkie turned to Thorn, asking, "Really?  You'd never left home before you came here?  Where do you live?"
Clearing her throat, Thorn nervously answered, "Uh, Los Pegasus.  Lived there all my life.  Yeah."
"Los Pegasus?" asked Pinkie, now more collected and far less excitable.  "I haven't met a lot of ponies from there."
Pinkie hummed in thought, then beamed with joy.  Thorn shrunk at the giddy look she was being given.
"Do you live in Ponywood, where all the big movies are made and all the stars live?!" asked Pinkie, her jaw agape as her beam widened.
Looking off put by Pinkie's question, Thorn answered, "Well, no.  Why would a scientist like me be living with the blockbusters, and the big shots, and the studios, and all that jazz?"
Pinkie's beam fell into a frown, but was quickly replaced by a moderate grin.
"Oh, right," she said.  "Silly me."  Pinkie scratched the back of her neck, then added, "So where do you live?  'Cause Ponywood's really the only part of Los Pegasus I know about."
"Oh, it's just a little beach house a few blocks from the rich part of the city," said Thorn, shrugging.  "Nothing big, really."
"Oh, cool!" said Pinkie, giggling with excitement.  "Beaches are fun."  
Pinkie took on a look of intense concentration, much to Thorn's confusion, then blinked rapidly, cocking her head.
"I almost forgot to ask what your name was!" said Pinkie.  "What's your name?"
Thorn said nothing for a moment, her ear twitching.
"Th—" she began, stopping to clear her throat.  "Thhh... Thesis.  Yeah.  That works."
"Thesis!" said Pinkie with a nod.  "Right this way, Thesis!  On with our tour of Ponyville!" 
She turned and continued her merry bouncing.  
"Alrighty then!" said Thesis, smiling as she followed behind Pinkie Pie.  
A few seconds later, Thesis stopped once more, suddenly realizing, Wait.  I've been duped.  I never asked for this. I just need to find Fluttershy! 
"E-excuse me, but—"
"First I'm gonna show you Sugar Cube Corner, the best bakery in the whole wide world!"
Thesis gasped, hurrying to catch up with Pinkie.  
Okay, just one... maybe two samples.  Raze can hold out for that long.





"Goose chases," said Raze, glancing to and fro to ensure no one was nearby.  "How I hate goose chases."  
Raze continually circled the outskirts of Ponyville, becoming steadily more angered by the lack of Applejack and Fluttershy.  The thought that he should ask for directions had crossed his mind repeatedly, but he couldn't bring himself to devise a subtle means of asking without blowing his cover.
"Just where are they?" he asked, falling to his haunches with a flustered groan.
He leaned against a thin tree, studying its branches through bleary vision.
"I can't very well ask for directions to wherever it is that Applejack resides," he reasoned to himself.  "Only a complete idiot wouldn't figure out that I'm not Rainbow Dash..."
He frowned at the leaves, then put a hoof to his forehead.
"Duh!"
Raze stood in a hurry, pausing to hiss quietly, "Head rush.  Ooh gosh.  Ooh darn."  
After a deep breath, he pressed into Ponyville, a confident smirk on his face.

Now, thought Raze, a mischievous look in his eye as he trotted through the streets of Ponyville, who to give a dumbball to?  Someone who I can draw away from the crowds.  I've only got so many of these babies, so I can only afford to gum up a few brains.
Weighing the bag of dumbballs with a contemplative frown, Raze hummed a note in thought as he scanned for a gullible pony with a penchant for sugary treats to victimize.
"Hey Rainbow Dash!" chimed a pink earth pony as she came bouncing into sight.  "Cool bag of gumballs!"
Raze looked to Pinkie Pie with a devilish grin.
Her, perhaps? thought Raze.
Moments after Pinkie's arrival, Thesis trotted into sight, hurrying after Pinkie.
Ah, sclerite!  One of those city ponies.  I can't deal with her.  Not in a place as small as Ponyville.
Taking the bag by his teeth, Raze began walking forward.
Think, Raze.  A pony that would accept a gumball from Rainbow Dash without any suspicions.  Who could that be?
As Raze considered who best to afflict with idiocy, he happened upon Ponyville's library just as Twilight Sparkle arrived at the door.  Raze grinned, snickering with dark satisfaction.
Irony is always fun.





"So..." Pinkie mumbled, straining to retain her smile.  "Aren't you gonna take a bite?"
With her ears folded, Thesis turned to Pinkie with a sullen frown.
"I'd love to, really, but I'd feel guilty if I ended up eating too much."
With a sputter and a subsequent laugh, Pinkie said, "Oh, don't worry!  You can always fly a few laps to work it off.  It works for me.  Except I don't fly.  Well, actually, there was this one time—"
"No, no!" interrupted Thesis.  "I meant that I don't have any money on me.  I won't be able to pay for this cake."
Pinkie waved a dismissive hoof, smiling comfortingly as she said, "Don't sweat it.  This one's on the house."
"On the house?" asked Thesis, glancing to the white-frosted cake.  "As in... free?"
"Yep!" said Pinkie, cocking her head with an encouraging smile.
Thesis looked to Pinkie, then back to the cake.  Cautiously, she pricked its surface with the tip of her tongue.  Thesis shuddered, her eyes widening and her pupils shrinking.  For a long moment, she did nothing, then she attacked the cake like a starved predator attacking its prey.  All the while, Pinkie only watched with the same smile on her lips, even when bits of frosting flew from the slaughter and onto her face.  After the cake been devoured (not including that which had been carelessly flung from Thesis's maw), Thesis drew away from the table.  She inhaled deeply, then smiled acutely, turning to Pinkie Pie and blinking furiously.
Wiping the debris that landed on her face away, Pinkie asked, "So you liked the cake?"
After a quiet hiccup, Thesis said with muted glee, "My synapses are like firecrackers right now."
With an amused giggle, Pinkie said, "I'll take that as a yes!  What do you say we go see more of Ponyville?"
"Oh, I would just love that!" said Thesis with an emphatic nod.
"Alright then!" chimed Pinkie, already beginning toward the door.  "Let's go!"
"Yippee!" said Thesis, leaping at the door with her wings spread.  With impressive speeds, she flew toward the exit.

Thunk.

"Ooh..." said Pinkie with a tinge of guilt.  "I probably should have told you that you pull open the door from this side."
"It's 'kay!" shouted Thesis in response, falling off the door and scrambling to her hooves.  
Once she was off the ground again, Thesis threw open the door and flew outside.
"C'mon!" she said, landing and impatiently trotting in place.  "Show me the rest of Ponyville!"
"Okay!" said Pinkie, leaping through the open doorway and turning to the left.  "Follow me!"  
Pinkie began bouncing away, and Thesis followed behind her by wing.
Sugar... thought Thesis, giggling nervously.  I probably shouldn't have eaten so much.  Then again, who cares?  This is awesome.





Alright, thought Raze as he neared the library.  Just need to walk in there, whip out a gumball, have Miss Magic pop it in her mouth, and then bam, instant mind slave!  It's genius!
Standing in the doorway of the library, Raze was about to speak, but stopped himself when he discovered he had stumbled upon an already ongoing conversation between Twilight and Spike.
"Just yesterday?" asked Twilight, glancing to Spike with a wry smile.  
"Yeah!" answered Spike.  "A brand new gumball machine.  I was over there just a few minutes ago, so I figured I'd get you one."  
He held out a shiny blue gumball to Twilight.
"Ah, that's sweet!" said Twilight, shaking her head.  "But no thanks."
"Are you sure?" asked Spike, withdrawing his hand and examining the gumball.  "They're only one bit apiece, after all."
"Nah," said Twilight with a shrug.  "I've never really liked chewing gum anyway."
Raze cocked his head, then stepped out of the library with a flustered groan.
Why does Plan A never work?  I suppose I'll just have to go find another pony to dupe... 
Setting the sack of dumbballs aside, Raze put a hoof his chin in thought.
... or maybe not.
Removing a single dumbball, Raze opened a wing and placed the gumball at the base.  Tucking the wing and concealing the dumbball, Raze nodded with a smirk, walking into the library.
Hearing his approach, Twilight turned to Raze, saying, "Hey, Rainbow Dash.  You need something?"
Let's see if this works, thought Raze, clearing his throat.
"Actually, I do.  I have a small 'academic' question for you."
Twilight gasped, her mouth agape in awe, her eyes shimmering with excitement.
Perfect, thought Raze.  Let's see how cheesy I can make this before she catches on.
"What's your question?" Twilight asked, looking particularly eager to answer.
"Well, I read this one word somewhere, and I was pretty sure it was pronounced a certain way.  Maybe you could clarify?"
Hopefully I'm not breaking character too much, thought Raze. 
"Oh?" said Twilight.  "Say it out loud."
"Oh-minous?" said Raze, emphasizing the long O.
"Ah, I see," said Twilight with a nod.  "That's a common misconception.  You see, the word is actually pronounced ominous, as if it were spelled with an A rather than an O."
"Hmm," began Raze with a contemplative nod, "so it isn't oh-minous?"
"No, it's ominous," said Twilight.
In a tone that could be described as argumentative, Raze said, "Oh-minous."
Clearing her throat, as if to retain composure, Twilight repeated, "Ominous."
With a sly smirk, Raze said once again, "Oh-minous."
Breathing an annoyed sigh, Twilight reiterated with, "Ominous!  Not the O sound, but the A sound!"
"... Oh-minous."
"Ominous!"
"OOOh-minous."
"OOOminous!"
Discreetly, Raze reached the hoof opposite the wing holding his dumbball under his stomach, readying to catch it.
"OOOOOh-minous."
Fuming by this point, Twilight opened wide her mouth to bellow, "OOOOOm—"
"Nom!" shouted Raze, dropping the dumball into his hoof and stuffing it into Twilight's gaping mouth.
Twilight stumbled backward, gagging from the unexpected hoof slap to her uvula.  Dislodging the dumbball with magic, Twilight glared at Raze, who only smiled at her.  Before she could spit out the poisonous ball of idiocy, its toxins had already taken effect from the moment its shell had dissolved in the back of her throat.  For some reason unknown to her, Twilight began chewing the dumbball.  Each time she bit down, she felt less and less inclined to yell at Raze for shoving something down her throat.  In fact, she seemed less and less inclined to care about anything, judging by the bored look on her face.
"So, how's it taste?" smugly asked Raze.
"Like gum," said Twilight with a shrug.
"Do you remember how it got in your mouth?" 
"Nope."
"Can you tell me what we were just talking about?"
"No, not really."
"Perfect!" said Raze, pumping his hoof victoriously.  
He eyed Twilight with satisfaction as she chewed the dumbball as a cow would chew cud.
"Say, you know where Sweet Apple Acres is, right?" asked Raze.
"Yeah, I do," answered Twilight, abruptly walking over to a bookshelf and removing books at random.
She regarded a few at a time, then set them on the ground, as if she were looking for something, but she wasn't sure what.
"Could you maybe take me there?" asked Raze.
"Eh, I don't really feel like it," answered Twilight.
"Alright, then let's—wait, what?" said Raze, circling around from where he'd started toward the door.  "You don't... 'feel like it?'"
"Nope," said Twilight, opening a book and scrutinizing its contents, then tearing a page out and tossing the book and torn page aside.
Raze scratched behind his ear, unsure how to deal with passive defiance.
How would I get a child to do what I tell them? he thought.
After listlessly sorting through and otherwise dismembering a full row of books, Twilight turned away from the shelves, smacking away at her dumbball as she wandered over to the window.
"Hey, Twilight!" excitedly said Raze, clacking his hooves together to draw Twilight's attention.  "You want to go see Applejack?  It'll be lots of fun!"
Twilight stared at him as she continued noisily chewing the dumbball.  She squinted, as if confused by what he'd said, then looked out the window again.
With a disheartened sigh, Raze rubbed at his forehead.
Not a child then, but a teenager, he thought, eyeing Twilight with pensive anger.  How would I get a teenager to do what I tell them?    
"Fine then," said Raze dismissively, turning away from Twilight and beginning for the door.  
Although it took Twilight a few seconds to register that Raze was leaving, she turned to him and asked, "What's fine?"
"I'll just go to Sweet Apple Acres myself," said Raze, rolling his eyes for effect as he added, "because you obviously can't find your own way there."
Twilight bit down hard on the dumbball, snorting with a sneer.  With greater speed than Raze had anticipated, Twilight teleported herself between him and the door, throwing open the door by hoof and trotting outside with her nose held high.
Absentminded, easily distracted, and overly dramatic, thought Raze, following behind Twilight with a victorious smile.  Thorn, you've successfully turned Celestia's prized student into a teenager.





With an energy level on par with that of Pinkie Pie's, Thesis gleefully followed her tour guide to every noteworthy location in Ponyville, receiving a brief description of its purpose and of the ponies who lived and/or worked inside.  Although Thesis began the tour with jubilant enthusiasm, she found that her sugar rush (as well as her interest) was beginning to dwindle by the time Pinkie guided her to Sweet Apple Acres.

"All this land, including these orchards that stretch waaay over the hills, is called Sweet Apple Acres!" said Pinkie, making a sweeping gesture to encompass the vast fields of apple trees.  "You won't find an apple anywhere in Equestria that's as juicy or delicious as an apple grown here."
Now too tired to remain airborne as she followed Pinkie, Thesis pursed her lips as she scanned the apple trees that Pinkie spoke of.
"Very nice," she mumbled.
"Ooh!  Here's one of the ponies who grows those apples!" exclaimed Pinkie, coming to a stop.  "Hi Applejack!"
Applejack, having been occupied with some form of woodworking, peered over her shoulder, smiling as she said, "Howdy, Pinkie.  Who's your friend?"
"This," answered Pinkie, pulling Thesis close, "is Thesis.  She's a scientist from Los Pegasus."
"Big city, huh?" asked Applejack, standing and tipping up her hat.  "Never fancied the big city mahself."
"Well, you wouldn't know it was a big city from where I live," said Thesis with a shrug.  "I keep mostly to myself, and only ever see others when I'm working."
"What?!" shouted Pinkie, astonished.  "I didn't know that!  I would have thrown a party for you, but I usually don't throw parties for ponies from big cities, because they always have so much excitement from where they live.  But you, on the other hoof, are all alone!  Nopony should have to feel alone!"
Thesis smiled sheepishly, rubbing her neck as she said, "Oh, I don't need a party.  You've already done so much for me, yet I barely know you."
"That's Pinkie fer ya," said Applejack, casting a smirk Pinkie's way.  "Drops everythin' t' make ya feel welcome in Ponyville."
"Ah, stop it!" said Pinkie with an embarrassed giggle.  "I just like to party."
"Hey, Applejack, I'm—" began a newly arriving Fluttershy, only to freeze and stare at Thesis, as a frightened squirrel would stare at a nearby predator.  "Oh..."
"Hi Fluttershy!" greeted Pinkie.  "Have you met Thesis yet?"
In the moment Pinkie said "Fluttershy," Thesis hiccuped.  This drew a short glance from Applejack and Pinkie, who were quickly turned to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy! thought Thesis, eyes wide.  This is the pony that Raze was supposed to question.  Which means either one of these two are more than meets the eye... 
Thesis glanced to Applejack and Pinkie in turn.  
... or I've found Raze's target before he has.
Thesis squinted at Fluttershy.  This caused Fluttershy to tremble fearfully.
"Th-Thesis?" asked Fluttershy, lifting a hoof as if to retreat.  
"She's new to Ponyville," said Pinkie, "so I've been showing her around."
Fluttershy said nothing in response, merely pawing the ground with a timid acknowledging grunt.
Sensing Fluttershy's (obvious) discomfort, Applejack asked, "So, did ya pick up the extra nails we needed?"
"They were all out..." answered Fluttershy, shyly glancing at Thesis's hooves.
"Tarnation!" grunted Applejack, stamping a hoof.  "Ya've gotta be jokin'!  'Spose we'll have to borrow some from somepony, 'cause we're fresh out."
"Joking!" exclaimed Pinkie, startling Thesis.  "I almost forgot about one of my favorite places in Ponyville!"
"What?  Where?" asked Thesis.
"Ponyville's gag shop!" answered Pinkie.  "It's chock full of gadgets and gizmos perfect for pulling pranks!"
Thesis's eyes widened at this.
"Would that gag shop happen to have those cans labeled with peanut brittle that actually contain rubber snakes?" she asked.
"Of course!" answered Pinkie.
"We gotta get to that gag shop!" declared Thesis, immediately flying off toward Ponyville.
With a chuckle, Applejack said, "Well ain't she somethin'?"
"Yeah," said Pinkie with a giggle.  "City ponies.  You never know what to expect."



 

Despite her display of defiant compliance at the library, Twilight quickly lost interest in traveling to Sweet Apple Acres.  Barely past Ponyville's boundaries, Twilight wandered off the path that lead to Raze's intended destination.  Although he followed her without a word of complaint for a long time, he grew wary as Twilight eventually led him to a treeline.  There she stopped, with no sign of Applejack or Fluttershy to be found.
"Uh, Twilight," said Raze, eyeing the treeline with disdain.  "This isn't Sweet Apple Acres."
"Sure isn't," affirmed Twilight, blowing a large bubble.
Raze watched it grow to an impressive size, then winced when it popped, sticking to Twilight's face.
"You're still going to take me there, right?" he asked.
"Nah.  I think I'll go on a walk through the woods," she said, magically removing the gum from her face, wadding it up, and tossing it away.
Raze opened his mouth to protest, but stopped himself as a faint voice caught his ear.
"So, did ya ask 'im if he had any in stock, or did ya just look for 'em yerself?"
Applejack? thought Raze.
"Um, well, I went in there and asked him if he had any nails this morning," answered a meeker voice.  "It would be awfully rude to bother him again."
Fluttershy!
Raze turned to pursue the voices.  After a single step towards them, though, he froze.  Puzzled, he tried to will himself onward, but found he couldn't budge his locked muscles.  Frustrated, he gritted his teeth and strained to take another step.

Pop!

Raze stumbled to the ground.  Breathing a sigh, he began pushing himself up.  He froze again, however, when he saw he was no longer disguised as Rainbow Dash.
"Cripes!" he shouted, throwing his hooves over his mouth.
What just happened? he thought, feeling panicked.  I've never dropped a transformation before!
Shaking his head, he transformed back into Rainbow Dash, continuing in the direction Applejack and Fluttershy had gone.  Almost immediately, his vision began to blur and his balance began to waver.
This is not going to end well, he thought, gulping hard.





"Just look at all this stuff!" shouted Thesis, jetting up and down the aisles of the gag shop.  "There's so many bits and bobbles for pulling pranks!"
"Glad to see you're enjoying yourself," said the shopkeeper, impatiently clacking his hooves together.  "Now are you going to buy something or not?"
"Found them!" shouted Pinkie, triumphantly holding a purple can labeled "Peanut Brittle" above her head.  "She's going to buy this!"
"Great," said the shopkeeper, rolling his eyes.  "That'll be fifteen bits."
Tossing the can to the giddy Thesis, Pinkie tossed a hoofful of coins onto the counter, merrily shouting, "Here you go!"
"Sweet!" said Thesis, admiring the gag can.  "I know just who to prank with this baby!"
"Who's that?" asked Pinkie.
"My boss," said Thesis, smirking as she turned the can over.  "She's had it coming for a long time."
"Cool," said Pinkie with a giggle.
The two exited the shop, Pinkie saying, "Well, I hope you've enjoyed your tour of Ponyville.  Now, who was it that—"
"You jerk!" exclaimed an earth pony mare as she pointed at a smirking earth pony stallion.  
Sucking in a breath, a unicorn who was curled up on the ground scratching at a red welt on her neck grumbled, "Hate to say I told you so, but I told you so."
"It's itching powder, Bon Bon," said the stallion with a shrug.  "That's what it's supposed to do."
Bon Bon stamped a hoof in anger, gesturing to the downed unicorn as she retorted, "Lyra only welts like this when she's having an allergic reaction.  Did you know she was allergic to that powder?"
Chuckling casually, the stallion answered, "Of course not.  It was all in good fun."
"You're the worst, Bodacious," said Lyra through clenched teeth.
"Just who is that?" whispered Thesis to Pinkie.
With a scowl, Pinkie answered, "That's Bodacious Boldness.  He thinks he's a real big shot, but he's actually really stupid and mean."
"Well, he did just dust that poor unicorn with an itching powder.  Which she's allergic to," said Thesis, scowling at Bodacious as well.
By this time, a good number of ponies had gathered near the gag shop, all of them either looking to Lyra with pity or scowling at Bodacious alongside Pinkie and Thesis.
Nostrils flaring, Bon Bon said, "You have got to cut this out.  You're starting to get on my nerves."
"Oh, lighten up," scoffed Bodacious, beginning toward Bon Bon.  "You're making this out to be a big deal."
Lyra suddenly stopped her scratching, eyes wild as she scrambled to her hooves to stand between Bon Bon and Bodacious.
"Don't you dare," said Lyra, standing on her rear hooves and holding out her forelegs to more effectively block Bodacious.
With a harrumph, Bodacious swung his head, striking Lyra in the ribs and sending her to the ground.  Every onlooker and passerby gasped, with the exception of Thesis, who was now trotting toward Bodacious Boldness with a furious glare.





Although he struggled to remain disguised, Raze managed to catch Applejack and Fluttershy.
"Howdy, Rainbow Dash," greeted Applejack, stopping when she heard Raze approach from behind.
"Hi Applejack," breathed Raze, circling around to stand beside Fluttershy.  "Hey, Fluttershy, you know how you whooped that dragon?"
Fluttershy blushed, smiling sheepishly as she said, "Yeah."
"I, uh, had some ponies ask me how you did it.  What should I tell them?"
Fluttershy blinked, seemingly at a loss as she said, "Uh... I..."
Out with it, dragon slayer! thought Raze, the smile on his lips genuinely painful.
"Well, I suppose you could tell them..." said Fluttershy, trailing off as she furrowed her brow.
"Yeah?" said Raze, one eye twitching for a moment.
"Um..."

"Shoryuken!"

"Eep!" screamed Fluttershy, jumping behind Applejack as she and Raze looked to where the shout had come from.
"Did ya hear that?" asked Applejack, bewildered.
"Yes.  Yes I did," said Raze through clenched teeth.
With a look of mixed curiosity and wariness, Applejack began toward the source of the shout.  Fluttershy hesitantly followed behind.  With a sigh, Raze followed Fluttershy. 

The three of them arrived to find a sizable crowd gathered around four ponies, two of which looked stunned, one of which was cowering on the ground, and the last of which was scanning the crowd with frightful eyes as she held an airborne combat stance.
For the love of Chrysalis, thought Raze, a vein bulging in his forehead.  Green mane, just like all novice field agents.  Test tube cutie mark.  That's Thorn.  She followed me out here.  And she's just shoryuken'd a Ponyvillian. 

Pop!

Raze blinked, glancing to his hooves.  Choking back a yelp, Raze looked back up to Thesis, mouthing, "Stall!"
Thesis gulped, then flew down close enough to Bodacious to press her nose against his.
"You want more?!" she yelled, jabbing his chest.  "Huh?!"
"Stop!  Don't!" he begged, shrinking under her pressuring gaze.
With the crowd's attention on Thesis, Raze slipped away, flickering in and out of his disguise.  He tried to remain unseen when he couldn't maintain his transformation by hiding in shadows.
"Okay, Raze," he said as he ducked behind a barrel, allowing himself a moment to breathe.  "You need to think of how to give Ponyville the slip and rescue Thorn."
He ground his teeth for a long moment, then gasped.
"The SKB!  If I can set that thing off in the middle of that crowd, then I can nab Thorn and escape!"  
Donning his disguise, he jumped from behind the barrel, flying to where he'd hidden the device.





Five minutes of shaking Bodacious Boldness by the shoulders later...

"Okay, I think he's had enough," mumbled Bon Bon, putting a hoof to her chin.
"Egh bleh bleh..." said Bodacious, his head swaying and his eyes swirling.
Thesis shoved the stallion, who collapsed with a groan.  Thesis glanced to Lyra, who looked somewhat frightened by Thesis's violent display.
"Well," said Thesis, clearing her throat.  "I think he's learned his lesson."
The crowd merely gawked at her for a long, awkward moment.  Thesis bit her lip, unsure what to say or do next.

Clank clank!

From the heavens crashed a seemingly ordinary alarm clock.
"What the—"
The SKB activated, emitting a a screech that caused everypony gathered there to wince and fall to the ground.  Thesis cringed, abandoning her transformation and throwing her hooves over her ears.  Now a changeling again, Thorn blinked, uncovering her ears upon hearing nothing from the SKB.  She saw the device was still quaking, but no sound came from it that could be heard by her changeling ears.
"Don't touch my stuff," scolded Raze, causing Thorn to yelp and spin around, assuming a fighting stance.
Seeing that it was Raze, Thorn chuckled, landing and saying, "Sorry about that.  I promise it won't happen again."
"Yeah it won't," murmured Raze.
Taking to the air, he bit down on Thorn's ear and began dragging her away from Ponyville.
"Owowowow!" whined Thorn, flailing her hooves and buzzing her wings.





Dear Queen Chrysalis,

You have nothing to worry about.  Spineless would be too generous a word to describe Fluttershy.  She could probably be bested by a stray gust of wind.

Your loyal commando,
Raze.

Depositing the letter into the messenger lamp and watching it burn in the green flames within, Raze groaned as he covered his face with his hooves.
"You're not a field agent, Thorn," he said, running his hooves down his cheeks and turning a glare to Thorn.  "You nearly jeopardized the whole mission."
"Well, I didn't," reasoned Thorn, crossing her forelegs as she laid against a tree.  "In fact, you could say I saved the mission."
"Is that some kind of joke?" asked Raze, hovering above Thorn.  "You attacked an innocent with an assassin's technique."
Thorn sputtered, waving a dismissive hoof as she said, "He had it coming.  Besides, if I hadn't done that, you would have been discovered.  Didn't you notice how you couldn't stay transformed?"
Raze harrumphed, shrugging as he answered with, "I have a concussion.  So what if I couldn't keep my disguise up?"
Thorn shook her head, smirking as she said, "Actually, that little cure-all Suture gave you would have gotten rid of the effects of your concussion.  See how you're perfectly fine while you're a changeling?"
Confused, Raze asked, "What are you getting at?"
"You see, Serum X-43, the medicine Suture gave you, has a particularly problematic side effect: changelings who have taken it can't remain transformed for more than ten hours at a time."
"What?!" exclaimed Raze.  "Suture gave me that medicine, knowing that I would be discovered when my disguise fell?  So he tried to sabotage me!"
"No, no!" Thorn said, shaking her head.  "Suture had no idea that Serum X-43 did that when he gave it to you.  Really, it's my fault for not telling him, or even hiding the prototypes to make sure they weren't used by mistake."
Raze breathed a sigh, landing and staring blankly at Thorn.
"So, you knew I was in danger of being discovered, so you came here to help me?" asked Raze.
Thorn nodded smugly.
"Well..." Raze grunted, coughing lightly.  "Thanks, I guess."
"You're welcome," said Thorn, standing and taking to the air.  "Now, let's say we go collect your equipment and head on back to the Hive?"
Raze blinked, then shook his head with a chuckle.
"Yes boss," he joked.





"So, this pink earth pony," began Suture, looking over Raze's barely used bag of dumbballs.  "You say she bounced everywhere she went?"
"Let me tell you, she was something else," said Thorn, laughing with remembrance.  "She did, however, help me discover the wonders of sugar.  She was really friendly about showing me around Ponyville."
"I see," said Suture, unpacking Raze's messenger lamp and writing equipment.  "And what of Agent Raze?"
"What about him?"
"How did he react to your little act of 'justice?'"
"Oh, that," said Thorn, laughing with apparent embarrassment.  "He was fine with it.  He told me to keep out of his quarters from now on, but he didn't say anything beyond that."
"Ah," said Suture, pulling Raze's night mask out of his satchel.  "Do you know if he ever put any of his equipment to use?"
"He did.  The night mask he put on Rainbow Dash so she wouldn't be out and about during his mission.  He plopped a dumbball in Twilight Sparkle's mouth so he could get information from her."
"Hubbawhat?" asked Suture, baffled.  "That's what they're actually called?"
Thorn plucked a dumbball from the bag with magic, gesturing to it as she said, "It's a gumball that induces loss of focus and mental acuity.  A dumb gumball.  A dumbball."
Suture frowned in thought, saying, "Huh.  Go figure."
"Oh, and he used the SKB to rescue me and give us an opportunity to escape," added Thorn.
"Right, the Sonic Knockout Beacon," said Suture, reaching into the satchel to retrieve it.  "I was wondering how useful that would be in the field."  
He felt around inside the satchel, then gasped.  He opened the satchel wider, frantic as he scanned inside.
"Something the matter?" asked Thorn.
"The Beacon," answered Suture, clutching his head in his hooves.  "It isn't here!"
Thorn's jaw dropped.
"Uh-oh..."


~~~


"Why are you selling an alarm clock for five hundred bits?" asked Snails, eyebrow raised as he examined the SKB placed on a high shelf behind the counter.
"Oh, this is no ordinary alarm clock!" said the shopkeeper, laughing with pride.  "This little beauty is state of the art!  I call her the Clock Out, because anypony who hears it go off is out cold just like that!"
He smacked the counter top, smiling expectantly.
Snails and Snips exchanged glances, then Snips said, "Yeah, right!  C'mon Snails!"
With that, the two turned and exited the shop.  The shopkeeper glared at the door, then smacked his forehead.
"Kids don't appreciate quality pranks nowadays."


~~~
 

Suture laid his head on the table with a groan.
"Chrysalis is going to kill me!  And if she doesn't, Cogs will!"
"Relax," said Thorn, patting Suture's shoulder.  "Cogs will understand, and Raze and I will get the Beacon back before Chrysalis ever finds out."
Suture lifted his head, looking at Thorn in disbelief.
"You'd do that for me?"
"Of course.  After all, it was really my fault that it got left behind.  Forgot to double-check that we had everything before we returned to the Hive."
Suture smiled acutely.
"Thank you."
"No problem," said Thorn with a shrug.
She blinked, then donned a devious grin.
"Speaking of Chrysalis..."





"My Queen!" cried a drone as she flew into the map room.
Chrysalis was busy glaring at the pillar that had cracked and caused a chunk of ceiling to fall on Raze when she heard the drone calling.
"What is it?" asked Chrysalis, looking to the cylindrical package the drone carried with suspicion.
"I was told to give this to you by an engineer," said the drone, holding out the package.  "She said it was of the utmost importance!"
Chrysalis swiped the package with her magic, examining it as she turned it over.
"Leave," she commanded bluntly.
"Yes, my Queen," said the drone, nodding and flying out of the room.
Chrysalis ripped away the paper to discover a purple can bearing the label, "Peanut Brittle."
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow, thinking aloud, "Peanut brittle?  I've never tried that before."
She scrutinized the can, then shrugged, popping the lid off.

Sitting just outside the map room was Thorn.  Upon hearing an ear-splitting shriek and Chrysalis falling to the floor, she burst into laughter.
"I can't believe she fell for it!" shouted Thorn through her laughter.