Before We Turn To Stone
Letters From Our Father
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Before We Turn to Stone
They had never meant for it to go so long without a single mention. Those many centuries apart were just so long — so painful. The act of bringing it up almost felt cruel.
Everyday, they would tell themselves that "today is the day", only to watch the hours tick by. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Soon, a full three years had gone by without so much as a mention.
It wasn't like everypony didn't feel the slight unease that settled into the court everyday. The staff that had been present through the transition nearly dreaded going to work, let alone working in the royal court itself. It was by saving grace that half of the problem slept during the day now.
The real problem was dinner time. They had agreed to dine together for that meal alone, and talk of the day's events. The conversation would spill over into the lounge, or to one of their sleeping chambers until the time to raise the moon came.
It hadn't started very well in the beginning. Quite a few times, the conversations had been vastly one-sided. It took time before the younger sister felt comfortable enough to speak normally with her beloved sister. The castle staff sure were happy about that.
And the day they finally heard the two laugh together....
The environment in Canterlot Castle had reached a very odd state of equilibrium. The elephant in the room had yet been dealt with, but a form of peace and tranquility overpowered the lingering tension. Whether it was made in secret or not, there was an understood rule of never speaking of what happened those many years ago.
It was in the past, leave it in the past.
But pain has a funny way of attaching itself deep inside and lingering — growing. Living for so long came with its ups and downs. Sometimes, those downs would leave scars too ugly and dark.
Such scars haunted them often, and Celestia was their target this night. She laid curled up on her bed of cushions and blankets, eyes open and lost. Her thoughts, deep and vast, revolved around the author of this particularly beautiful night. The moon, large and shimmering a majestic silver, stared back at her pink, distant eyes.
Out there, flying through the soothing night, Luna did her job in a way only she could. Those thousand years of her absence seem so far away, yet feel so very close. The emptiness Celestia felt was still fresh. The mere memory made a shiver run up her spine.
Loneliness
Emptiness
Heartbreak
These things made her longevity seem more of a curse than a blessing. They left such deep wounds in her heart, she often felt herself slipping into a state of madness not unlike "the mare in the moon".
She could only imagine what they had done to her dear little sister. To feel under-appreciated, lonely, and unloved must have done things to her that Celestia could not imagine. It is why she feared to tread such a topic. She feared to look at the scars of such hurt for fear that she might see her own name etched in the scars left on Luna's heart.
A pony of her station and experience should know better. Had she the courage when Luna first returned to her, they could have long renewed their bond. Now, after years of doing nothing, they settled into a distance that was close, but not warm. "Lukewarm" had been the word she applied to it before.
Conversations held only to fulfill an obligation to interact with each other like loving sister's would. Laughter born not from joy, but relief that another day passes playing this bitter game.
The worst of it was the feeling that there was no escape. Fear, cold and heavy, kept them from risking this fragile peace. They were literally one fight away from a confrontation that could very well crack Canterlot in two.
Celestia was not satisfied in the least with the way things were going. She wanted the feeling of sisterhood back, of true sisterhood. She wanted those days when they would fly off to confront evil and chaos with full faith in each other. Celestia wanted the quiet nights when Luna would share her bed just to be close to her. She wanted those moments when she'd watch in open-mouthed awe, as Luna place the stars.
She was positive that Luna wanted the same thing. Celestia had seen the look Luna would have when they bid each other goodnight, or good morning. She thought Celestia didn't notice, but she did.
What was stopping them? What force was so powerful, so allusive, so convincing that neither of them could keep it from distancing them?
Was their bond cursed to be weakened for the rest of their long, miserable lives?
Celestia paused in her thoughts when she felt a familiar rush of dragon magic. A puff of green flame delivered a rolled up parchment to the princess's desk — where so many others had been read.
Summoning the letter to her with a gentle wave of her horn, Celestia thought on her diligent student. It wasn't terribly late in the night. Luna couldn't have left more than an two hours ago. Later than the princess usually stayed awake, but not late enough for a letter from Twilight to seem unusual.
She broke the seal on the parchment and unraveled it. To her confusion, an envelope fell from the letter. She spotted hers and Luna's names on the envelope and looked back at Twilight's letter for answers.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I'm happy to say that my study of the magic of friendship is going very well. I haven't learned anything new, but I've reinforced every lesson I've learned in the past. My friends never fail to show me that my life feels much more full with them around.
Now I'm sure you've noticed that I had Spike send another envelope along with my letter. It's addressed to you and Princess Luna, so I figured it was very important. I discovered it in a book Spike and I found while cleaning and re-organizing the library. It's strange because I don't remember seeing the book before the last time we cleaned.
I'm going to skim through it tonight before sending it to you via Pony Express. It looks unassuming enough, but it didn't have a title.
Please remember to say hello to Princess Luna for me.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia slowly set Twilight's letter aside and eyed the envelope suspiciously. Something about the hoofwriting felt familiar, but she had no idea why someone would tuck a letter to her and Luna in a dusty old book.
She levitated the envelope and turned it around. The moment her eyes rested upon the seal on the letter, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Her heart began to beat hard and hot, sending fire through her veins. Her eyes began to sting, as something stirred deep within her upon seeing the cutie mark she so longed to see again.
Barely able to focus, she broke the seal and opened the letter within.
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Oh, how she had missed this. It was still as breath-taking this night as it was her first time. The calming stillness was so gentle, she could get lost in it all. The stars, her eternal friends and watchers, twinkled their silent tune to whomever would listen.
Princess Luna, keeper of the night, stood in the garden of Canterlot Castle bathed in moonlight. Her mane, flowing and glittering like the night sky, was draped in the silvery glow.
She breathed in the night air and allowed herself to be taken far away to a place she did not know. It was her most cherished power — the ability to dream while awake. She kept it secret from even Celestia, and cherished it like a treasure meant only for her. In these waking dreams, she would be in simpler times, or a simple mare living a simple life. She was not haunted by her sins there. There, she was not a mare who had been in need of redemption. No, there she was simply Luna and Luna alone.
It was always on that thought that she would leave the illusions of the stars and return to reality. Breathing a sigh, Luna lowered her head and turned away from the silvery moonlight. Her eyes looked into the sleeping garden, losing herself in thought.
No matter how much she ran to the soothing embrace of her little stars, she could not run away from the troubles that haunted her.
So much had been left unsaid for the last three years. Yes, many words of love and affection had been spoken, but never the words they needed the most.
Loneliness
Emptiness
Heartbreak
She knew these words well. They had wounded her heart and coerced her into becoming that beast of a mare. They twisted her desire to be loved and appreciated into an ugly jealousy that was willing to shatter the order of their world. She knew of loneliness, engulfing emptiness, and soul-shattering heartbreak. Perhaps better than anypony... well, anypony but one.
Just as she had been alone on the moon, Celestia had been alone here. Surrounded by so many ponies, but still so very much alone. In her heart, Luna knew that, in some ways, Celestia's pain had been worse than her own.
At least in her exile, Luna had the luxury of expressing her sorrow. Her sister, on the other hoof, had to swallow it. She had to bury it so deep inside that she forgot where she put it. Even when she rediscovered it, she was too afraid to go near it — so very much afraid.
Oh, how she missed the days when things were simpler. The days before she messed everything up. She missed the days Celestia would come barging into her chambers in the middle of the day asking for help with a complicated issue. She had no regard for Luna's sleeping schedule back then. At least, not when urgent matters arose. She would insist on doing things during the day, and thoughtlessly drag her around Equestria and (at times) beyond.
She was so inconsiderate, and Luna loved every bit of her for it. She would lean on her without a thought or care, as if it was natural and expected to rely on your sister so heavily. She would never tread lightly when suggesting she stay up a little longer to help form a few regulations and look over some numbers. She would have never treated her like glass that had been repaired just to be ready to break all over again.
Celestia had grown in those thousand years, and so had she. The need to be noticed had long curbed after she grew to accept her role as the night's caretaker. Sure, the fact that more ponies appreciated her was a lovely feeling, but she didn't hunger for it as she once did. Even the children, the ones she especially wanted to like her, had grown to love her — all of her (for reasons that still baffle her to this day).
She wanted so badly to march up to Celestia one morning and blurt all of this out to her. She wanted to stare her sister in the eyes and say the words that burned in her heart to say. Yet, she could not. Every night that she would fix herself to do so, something stopped her.
What was it?
Ah, she knew what it was. Things were far too complicated to simply solve this problem with such tactless abandon. They had much to consider. They had to keep their appearances in mind. The image of the "Regal Sisters" was not simply necessary, it was essential to maintaining their carefully formulated order.
It was complicated, not simple.
Luna dropped her head a little lower. The more she dwelt on it, the worse she felt. Deciding that this was going to go nowhere this night, Luna started towards the flowers in the garden. Her sister, in another act of trying to mend their relationship, had ordered that special flowers be planted in the garden just for Luna. There weren't many flowers that only bloomed at night, but Luna loved and cared for each one.
She set about opening their pedals with a touch of her magic, and continued her duties of making the night breathtaking.
Luna had just finished with the flowers in the northern part of the garden before she spotted a flash of pure white. Her eyes, glazed over in a tranquil trance, grew wide and alert at the shocking sight. "Celly?" She questioned. She had only gotten a glimpse of it, but what she saw was definitely pony-shaped and too tall to be a guard.
She trotted over to where she had seen the shock of white. When she reached the spot, she looked around in confusion. Her eyes caught the moving shadow of a pony against the soft moonlight. The shadow had turned a corner in the garden that led to the maze, where the castle's statues stood.
"Celly?" Luna called out to the shadow before following. What was Celestia doing awake in the first place, let alone out for a late-night stroll? She had some words ready for her older sister when she caught up to her.
Luna rounded the corner and trotted into a small clearing that was between the garden and the maze's statues. She didn't get the chance to look around before Celestia swooped down from above and landed at her side. "Celly, what are you doing out here at this hour? You startled me when I was in the middle of tending to the flowers."
"I flew straight from my room Luna." Celestia met her sister's gaze and sniffled.
It was then that Luna noticed that Celestia's eyes were puffy and wet. "What's the matter sister?" Luna stepped towards her, voice soft and concerned.
Celestia tried to hold herself together, but found it to be a losing battle. One of her long, ivory wings reached out to wrap itself around her dark-coated sister. "Oh Luna, I-" she paused and looked to her left, in front of the two sister.
There, in the clearing, stood a statue that she was sure had not been there before. It stood inches above them on a stone platform for support. It's smooth surface was made in the form of an alicorn. It's wings were spread wide with one hoof up in a traditional pose.
"Strange," Luna started, "I don't remember this addition to our collection." She looked at Celestia, as if to ask if this was her doing while she had slept today.
The Sun Princess was speechless. Her eyes widened, and her jaw fell open just enough for her lips to part.
Luna followed her mesmerized gaze and soon mirrored it. The statue was slowly moving, as if it were just as alive as the two princesses watching it. It stepped down from its platform and onto the green grass of the garden, head low and moving left to right in search of something.
It looked underneath a nearby bush to its right only to miss the head of a filly pop out of the bush behind him. The little filly was an alicorn as well, and made of the same stone as the larger statue. Quivering in a silent giggle, the filly retreated back into the bush when the seeker turned his head towards her.
While he was distracted, another filly popped her head out from within a tree's branches and stuck her tongue out at the seeker. Just like the other filly, she retreated into the tree just before the seeker looked her way.
The living statues were playing a game of hide-and-seek, and from the looks of it, the older statue was the parent of those little fillies. What drew a quiet chuckle from the two princesses was that the older alicorn was losing quite badly to his two fillies. That was no accident.
The two fillies were working together to keep each other hidden. When the seeker would get close to finding one, the other would make a sound to draw his attention. When he was not even close, they'd make faces and mimic him playfully. Though the two princesses suspected that the older alicorn was being fooled on purpose, so as not to spoil the game.
Finally, a devilish smirk came across the older statue's face. Standing non-chalantly, he summoned magic to his horn and levitated the two fillies from their hiding spots by their tails. He then dropped them to the ground and leaned down to peer at them in a playfully menacing way.
The two little alicorns scrambled together, and watched the older statue kick the ground with his fore-hoof. In mock fright, the two little fillies began to scramble around, skipping and galloping as fast as their little legs could. The larger alicorn trotted between the two, half trying to catch them between his hooves.
The two princesses watched this scene play in silence, until the family of three settled down upon the grass. After a few quiet moments of the trio watching the sky, the older alicorn got to his hooves and used his nose to prod his little ones to do the same.
He gently corralled them back towards his original stone platform, and helped them up with his nose. The two little alicorns settled down together, ready to sleep for the night. They watched gleefully, as the older alicorn stepped up onto the platform and laid down around them, so they were nestled near his stomach and chest. His wings flicked open and enveloped them in a feathery embrace before he kissed them both goodnight.
Whatever magic gave the three statues life left at that very moment. The statues were frozen in this position, a snapshot of a warm moment. The princesses remembered this moment vividly now that they'd seen it played out.
It was a far off memory, buried deep by many centuries and responsibilities. It was a memory from a simpler time, before all the regality and pretense. It was the very memory they needed to solve their lingering problem.
The thing they were missing was shown to them in a beautiful display. What they needed was the love they had felt and given in those far off days. The love that came so easily when all they had was each other, and that was okay.
"Oh Luna," Celestia was first to break the silence, "we've been such silly ponies haven't we?" She looked slightly down at her sister, eyes watery and soft. A sheen of light that had not been there in a long time radiated from her eyes, warming that lukewarm affection into adoration for the princess beside her.
"Very silly." Luna echoed and shyly returned Celestia's adoring gaze. "I can almost hear what Father would say if he saw how we've been to each other."
"Knowing him, he'd magically seal us into a room until we hugged out our problems." Celestia laughed at the image. It was not unusual for their father to play the silent mediator between them before softly scolding his two silly daughters. He had a way of speaking that made them both feel so sorry for hurting the other.
Luna looked up into the night sky and at the stars that twinkled above. "He never truly left us, just like he promised." Deep down, she knew that their father had given them this gift somehow. Even after so many years, she did not understand just how her father was capable of these sorts of acts, but he never failed.
"No, he never did Luna." Celestia gazed at the statue lovingly. Leave it to their father to leave such a meaningful present at such a crucial time. "Mind if I borrow you for an hour or two Luna?" Celestia opened his wings, ready to fly. "I want to read you something over tea."
The Princess of the Night nodded and followed her sister into the sky and towards her chambers.
That night, something changed in the castle. After a night of fond, distance memories, laughter, tears, and sisterly companionship, every ounce of tension was gone. More than friendship radiated through the halls of Canterlot Castle after that night.
Love filled the void that was missing, and regality and pretense be damned if they ever tried to stand in its way.
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To my Darling Rays of Light,
At the time I write this, you both are too young to understand what is in your shared futures. You are both too innocent to see that this world is full of trials and tribulations that will tear the bond you share to pieces if you let it. You are too far from that darkness, and I want it that way.
But there will come a time when you fight, and that fight will leave wounds that may never heal if not dealt with. When that time comes, I hope you remember the simpler times. I hope you remember the days when all that mattered was that you love each other. Never forget those times, for they are more precious than anything in the world.
Never stop saying you love each other, and put your heart behind it. Tell each other that no matter what happens, your love will never fade. The love that exists between family is a magic of its own, unique and unbreakable.
If the darkness ever seems too much for you to handle, know that you are both my light and my heart.
I will always be close.
Your Loving Father,
Astral