> The Derpy Eye Don't Know > by Ponymanxx7 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The Derpy Eye Don't Know > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Derpy Eye Don't Know (minor note: I apologize if the ending seems rushed, but after the hurricanes we've had recently, I'm proud to even be posting at all right now X/) "Alright, Derpy!" Ten hut!" Rainbow Dash instructed as she paced back and forth. Derpy took a serious stance as she stood at attention, raising her front right hoof in a saluting manner as she stared straight ahead, albeit with her regular loopy-eyed expression. As with any day, today was another day of being Derpy's assistant in delivering mails. At first when she started working for her, Rainbow Dash was comepletely against the idea, fearing for her own life and that of anypony Derpy had to deliver for. But later on that day she finally realized how important the job was to the accident-prone Mailmare after discovering she had a daughter. All the accidents she's caused here, aside from regular clumsiness, were just simple exhaustion from raising a daughter, supposedly by herself. Seeing that kind of dedication and loyalty finally warmed Rainbow Dash up to the idea of being her permenant assistant...at least until Derpy could finally get back onto her hooves on her own. "Now, as with everyday, what's the first thing we're gonna make sure we do?" Rainbow questioned as she continued. "Ummm...Not cause any accidents?" Derpy answered in a questioning tone. "Correct!" Rainbow Dash said with a proud, serious, look. "And before that, what do we do?" Derpy looked more questioning than with the previous question. "Ummm...Deliver mail?" "No! First we need to make sure we get the mail to deliver first!" She corrected. Derpy blinked a bit curiously at this before nodding in agreement. "Oh yeah, yeah. Right!" "And before that, then what do we do?" "...Uhhh-" "Wrong! Before that, we gotta make sure we have the RIGHT mail to deliver. I don't wanna end up in Las Haygas again for three days just to discover you got the wrong address, AGAIN." Rainbow Dash reminded, annoyed with the three days of constant flying she had to go through with Derpy. "O-Oh...O-Ok-" "AND BEFORE THAT! What's the very first tihng we do?!" "...Ok now I'm getting confu-" "WRONG! We make sure we have everypony's mail so we don't have just one letter and waste time going back and forth between houses and work." She stated. Derpy began rubbing her forehead from the potential headache that was coming on. "I-I'm getting a bit light-headed Rainbow..." "...I'm sure it's nothing new." She muttered. "What was that?" "Nothing!" She quickly blurtted, coughing to clear up her throat. With the daily morning instructions out of the way, Rainbow Dash looked at Derpy with a ready-for-the-day attitude. "Now, tell me exactly what the first thing we're going to do is!" She commanded, wanting to make sure Derpy was paying attention and not just staring off into space, again. Unfortunately for her, a complete blank expression filled Derpy's face at this, completely lost at how to proceed. "Uhhh....O-Ok which one was the first part again?" Derpy asked. Rainbow only groaned as she face-hoofed again. Much like any day she worked with Derpy, she could tell this was going to be another long day... My Little Pony... My Little Pony... Aaah aah aah aah... (My Little Pony)... I used to wonder what friendship could be... (My Little Pony)... Until you all shared its magic with me.... Big adventure... Tons of fun... A beautiful heart... Faithful and strong... Sharing kindness... It's an easy feat... And magic makes it all complete... You have My Little Pony... Do you know, you are my very best friends... *CRASH!* "Ow!" Derpy yelped, rubbing her sore head as she began to wake. It was that time of year again (or in Derpy's case, that time of the hour) where Derpy has, inevitably, once again, crashed into certain assortments of decorations, buildings, furniture, etc. On the more rare occasions, like today, she would sometimes end up crashing through wall-sized window glasses, obviously breaking the window, and destroying any particular items said store would have inside. And as fortune would have, the cruel kind not the good kind, she ended up crashing into an antique store. Shards of various colors, shapes, and size from numerous vases and lamps were now scattered about, covering the sight of the floor almost everywhere. It wasn't entirely Derpy's fault. Everypony knew it couldn't be Derpy's fault entirely. It was just her eyes. Those strange, mismatched pair of eyes she had. Nopony could really explain how somepony like Derpy came to have said eyes. Not even Derpy could fully remember. Everypony could agree on the assumption she hit her head somehow, but as to what she hit it against that caused her eyes to do that remained a mystery. In either case however, it wasn't really important. What was important was the after effect- Derpy's new eyes, despite still functioning, through off her sense of vision from time to time, and caused her to be thrown off balance to the point where she'd end up crashing like so. Despite everypony knowing Derpy couldn't completely control herself in these cases, eventually in time other ponies began to forget about that little detail. Forget, not care, there really wasn't a difference in this case. All that did remain the same was how everypony began to grow angry with her and her constant destruction across Equestria. While most of it was contained within the borders of Ponyville, working in the delivery service required tons of deliveries to be sent across all parts of the world. Luckily, Derpy's accident ratio is usually just once or twice a week, therefore it rarely happens outside of Ponyville since she it's where her life and constant work usually revolved around. And ever since Rainbow Dash became her assistant, her accident ratio dwindled down to at least once or twice a month, which was really saying alot. The only other times she did cause accidents around town since was anytime Rainbow Dash was either too busy to assist her for the day or was too distracted by something to notice Derpy flying off on her own to deliver the mail herself. That usually ended up with cases like today. Unfortunately for the both of them, however, this case was indeffinitely one of the more worse parts to end up crashing. Usually when it came to Antique stores, they were always filled with rare, valuable, essentials, which was pretty much just fancy talk for antiques. USually when it came to antiques, the older it was the better and more expensive it was. So it was just plain unlucky that Derpy found herself today in the most valuable Antique store to date. There wasn't even a question as to whether she was responsible or not; if she was in the middle of it (litterally speaking) then she was ALWAYS responsible. "Derpy!" Rainbow Dash yelled, flying over worriedly and surprised. "Are you ok?" She asked, offering a hoof up. Derpy rubbed the side of her head before grabbing onto her hoof. "Y-Yeah..." She muttered. "What the hay were you thinking?!" Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted. "You know you're not supposed to go out without me." Derpy drooped her ears as she frowned. "B-But I-" "MY ANTIQUEZ!" The Shopkeeper shouted in a foreign. "Look at what 'zou 'ave done to zee antiques!" He shouted in distresses, tossing about the broken pieces here and there. Derpy could only blink confused though as she tried understanding what he just said. "What was seeing a Zoo have to do with your broken antiques?" "Derpy!" Rainbow Dash yelled before leaning closer. "Let's talky more flying before we get in more trouble!" She whispered, pushing her towards the window again as the two flew off. The two were fortunate the Shopkeeper wasn't another Pegasus or Unicorn, otherwise there'd be no getting away from him. Esspecially since he was angry and tried to chase the two out of the store. "'Ey! Come back z'ere diz very moment!" He commanded angrily. "Well bless you then!" Derpy shouted back while flying away. "What the heck do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked confused. "Didn't he just sneeze?" Derpy asked with a raised brow. Rainbow Dash moaned as she shook her head disappointingly. "Aww Derpy, what-" _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "-Am I going to do with you!" Mr. Jameson suddenly shouted, banging his front hooves on his Office's desk. It wasn't the least bit surprising when Mr. Jameson called the duo to his Office upon returning to work. It only took one phone call from the Shopkeeper and the word "Derpy" to get on Mr. Jameson's nerves. It wasn't unusual for Mr. Jameson to yell at Derpy for her mistakes like this. It became something of a new routine to Rainbow Dash whenever Derpy ended up breaking something, but even then, they've never been called directly to Mr. Jameson's Office for it. And it didn't take a genius to tell Rainbow Dash that Mr. Jameson was angrier than usual. For Derpy...it probably did. "Give me a raise?" Derpy suggested with a curious manner. Rainbow Dash could only groan as she rolled her eyes. "He was being rhetorical, Derpy!" She yelled. "Oh...I thought it was one of those "multiple choice" questions." She commented. Rainbow Dash face-hoofed herself at this before looking back to Mr. Jameson. "Look, Mr. Jameson, I know Derpy crashed into another store, again, but don't you think you could overlook something like this? I mean it's happened before." Rainbow Dash added. "Yes, but never into an antique store full of PRICELESS Antiques!" Jameson shouted, noticable nerves in his veins pulsing from stress. For some strange reason, Derpy actually smiled to this. "Well there you go, the problems solved!" She said happily, earning two confused looks from the other pegasi. "Derpy, in the grand name of Equestria, how did you even come to that conclusion?" Rainbow asked, mixed emotions of irritation, annoyance, and curiosity stemming from the question. "Simple, if there's no price, then we don't have to pay anything!" *THUD* That was the simple sound of Mr. Jameson slamming his forehead into his desk. "I'm lucky enough they don't know who her Manager is. Derpy, can you just go home so I can talk to Rainbow Dash in private?" Mr. Jameson muttered, not even lifting his head. Derpy frowned slightly, knowing she was responsible for the mess even if she couldn't understand it completely. "But Mr. Jameson-" "Just go, Derpy. I'll see you at work tomorrow." He stated. Derpy gave an uneasy look to Rainbow Dash who had the same expression as she did before leaving. Derpy just sighed to herself, being in this case scenario multiple times. She couldn't help being herself, esspecially with the eyes she had. She knew she was accident prone, yet she tried her best at least to keep herself from looking like it. It was just her eyes! At least that's what she kept telling herself. The very same eyes that peered off into two different directions at once. The type of eyes that would make it impossible to tell if she was looking at a certain pony or another. Or possibly both in some small cases.Derpy's attention went from her thoughts to the conversation inside the office as the silence around her made way for the louder noises coming inside from Mr. Jameson's office. She pressed her ear against the door as she listened closely. "I don't care, she's got to go!" Mr. Jameson shouted, to Derpy's shock. "But Twilight said if I was to assist her you'd let her keep her job." Rainbow Dash complained. "I was expecting it to lessen the destruction she's caused around here, but all it did was lessen the amount of times the accidents happen! The destruction stays the same and even with your help lately it's got worse!" "Well you can't blame me for that! I'm keeping my eye on her the best I can but sometimes she just manages to slip away when I least expect it!" I know, and I'm not blaming you for it either. But what you're saying proves my point with what has to be done." He commented. Both Rainbow Dash and Derpy, who was still unnoticed by the other two, grew uneasy at the last sentence. "W-What are you saying?" She asked nervously. Mr. Jameson just sighed to himself as he put his front hooves together. "I know we had a deal here, but after today, I'm afraid we hit the last straw. She's fired!" He stated firmly. Derpy's pupil's shrank at that last remark as everything else around her went silent, at least to her. Out of all the words she never ever wanted to hear from her boss was the F word; Fired! Out of all the possible worse things to happen to her, the last she wanted to hear was the sound of herself being kicked out of her job. It was the only thing that kept dinner around the house, helped her raise Dinky after all these years, and the only way she could buy some muffins! Ok, so the first two were a bit more important, but the fact remained the same- she was officially, at this point, fired, and out of a job. Which also meant no more bits and no more paychecks for her. She was ready to burst at that moment in sorrow, but the last thing she also wanted was for herself to make a scene, esspecially since the other two had no idea she was listening in on them. She quickly wiped whatever tears she had before running out of the building, not paying attention to the rest of the conversation that went on after. "Fired?! But you can't fire her, sir! She has a daughter she has to look out for!" Rainbow Dash stated, much to Mr. Jameson's surprise. "Daughter?" He questioned, rubbing his chin as he sat back in his chair. "Didn't know about that..." He quickly shook his head as he waved his right hoof. "Regardless, I just can't have somepony like her going around and putting us in bankruptcy!" He added. "W-Well...Alright look, what if I started doing her job?" Rainbow suggested. "What do you mean?" "I mean, what if I do the deliveries from now on, and Derpy assists me?" "Annnnd you think she'll be alright with that?" "I'll just think of something to convince her she's still in charge while I'm assisting her. But either way, what do ya say?" Mr. Jameson rubbed his chin as he thought about this. "I don't know..." "Well, if you're still unsure, I suppose I could always head back to the Antique Shop to see if they need anymore assistance finding out who the Mailmare's Manager was..." She commented in a curious manner. Mr. Jameson's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't dare..." "Look, I'm just saying, give her another chance. Besides, you can't just fire somepony without at least giving them a warning about it first! C'mon..." "Alright, alright! I'll give her another chance but this time it'll be the last. Got it?" "Deal." __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Eheff..." Derpy sniffled, wiping her tears still as she lied on top of the tallest clouds around Ponyville. She couldn't believe she was actually fired! Sure, she heard talk and gossip from other ponies around Ponyville about her constant destruction causing and accidents that occur around her, but she knew she couldn't help it! And she also knew she wasn't as smart as many other ponies, yet she couldn't help that part either. She was convinced it all had to do with a head injury she recieved sometime during flight school when she was younger, given the injury hidden within her blonde mane she still had. But she could never remember what it was that actually happened that caused the injury, possibly thanks to whatever caused the accident as well. To be honest, she was used to the sort of bad luck that happened around her. Most of the accients she ended up the victim of when it came to physical injuries, and she felt it would've evened itself out with whatever damages to property she caused. Sort've like a form of Karma. And ever since her daughter came into her life, she assumed nothing bad would happen to the two indeffinitely. Now her entire world was flipped upside down, and not just because she realized she was laying on the wrong side of the cloud before she started falling. Without her job, she wouldn't be able to support her life or Dinky's, and she may even get into trouble with Child Services again! Derpy came to realize what she had to do: First, was probably start flying right side up again before she ended up hitting the pavement. A simple flap of her wings maanged to get her back on her hooves, or wings in this case. The second thing she needed to do was talk to Dinky about this. Aside from the fact she was fired, whenever a big questioning problem like this ever popped up, Dinky was the one to talk about it. Sure, she wasn't as smart as her mom, at least Derpy hoped not at her age, but she deffinitely knew how to be sensible when it came to drastic problems like this. Like the time she tried making a batch of blueberry muffins and she only had half the amount of all needed ingredients. Dinky simply suggested she make half a batch, which worked out quite well to say the least. Fortunately, the flight to the school wasn't very far from the cloud she was on earlier. She could already see the school up ahead from where she was. Despite not having the best of eyes in Equestria, she could still see fairly far compared to the average pony. Perhaps one of the only few benefits her mix-matched pair of eyes gave her. She even smiled to herself as she already saw her little filly playing with the other crusaders on the playground, a bit happy for her to have friends related to the friends Derpy had. The sight was something that made her happy briefly, at least until the sight of two other well known fillies, a certain Diamond Tiara and Silverspoons, appeared in the way as well, causing her to freeze in space. She knew about their history with harassing students constantly, but at the least she also knew she couldn't reveal herself in front of them, lest she cause more problems for her daughter. Looking around quickly, she quickly doved head first into a nearby bush next to the playground, only opening it enough to look through at the group. "Well well well, if it isn't the four blank-a-teers and their blank-minded sidekick." Diamond Tiara greeted with her usual sneering look. "But I already have a Cutie Mark." Starlight commented, confused as to why they would be ferring to him as a blank flank. Sadly he was completely unaware of what part of her description he was part of. At his reply, a simply dull and annoyed look filled Diamond Tiara's expression. "...Like I was saying..." She added. Apple Bloom groaned as she rolled her eyes at them. "Diamond, what do you want now?" Apple Bloom asked in an irritated tone. "Oh nothing," Diamond Tiara began, trying to sound innocent, "I just thought Dinky would've liked to hear about what her swirly-eyed mother did this morning." She said, earning a chuckle from Silverspoons. Dinky could only moan at this, knowing anytime these two would bring something up about her mom always meant something bad. "Aww mare, what did she do now?" Dinky asked a bit upsettingly. Derpy frowned slightly at her tone, feeling like Dinky was used to this sort of thing. "Ohhhh not much, she just crashed into an Antique Store!" Tiara stated proudly. "Is she okay?" Sweetie Belle asked kindly. "Oh please, that blonde pegasus survived worse. Who cares if she's okay?!" Diamond Tiara sneered before grinning back to Dinky. "I heard that she's gettin' fired for it." There was an audible gasp from the little blond filly, as well as the full groan mare who gasped in silence. She had no idea news like this traveled through Equestria so quickly. Heck, she knew it couldn't have traveled so quickly- she was a Mailmare herself and it still took her a good couple hours to deliver letters and envelopes to everypony in Ponyville. And don't get her even started on how long it took to do special deliveries that took her across Equestria. "N-No she didn't!" Dinky snapped back a bit defensively. "Sure she's a bit...clumsy," Dinky commented, much to Derpy's disappointment, "but there's no way she would let herself get fired." As she continued talking, Derpy looked down in disgrace at herself. Here she was, a full grown mare who was a mother that always put her daughter first before everything, and now she couldn't even provide a maintained job that would keep their lives supported. She felt like a disgrace at this point, even more so towards her daughter who always looked up to her. It was saying a lot for somepony to do that seeing how everypony else just looked down on her because of her constant destruction. "Oh, please! It was only a matter of time anyway! And knowing her, she's probably on her way here right now, just to ask you for advice!" Diamond Tiara stated. "Yeah, right!" Apple Bloom retorted. "Like Dinky's mom would do anything to embarass her like that." That last comment alone finally brought the last line of pride Derpy had at an end. She couldn't do anything more at that point other than slowly slink back into the bush as her eyes began to water. "Whatever, we just wanted Dinky to know the sad saaad truth." Silverspoons said with a smirk as the two began to walk away. "See your mom in the Funny Pages, Stinky!" Diamond Tiara teased befoe the duo burst into chuckles. Dinky began to grumble to herself as she glared at them. "It's Dinky!" She shouted back. The sight of the two other fillies angered her as she watched them leave. But once they were finally out of sight, she began to moan to herself as she frowned. "Aww don't let those two get to you, Dinky." Scootaloo commented, patting her friend's shoulder calmly. "Yeah, those two are nuttin' but a couple of dung beatles." Apple Bloom commented, shaking her head at the two trouble makers as they left. "You mean they were raised by bugs?" Starlight asked curiously. Apple Bloom stared at Starlight for a few brief seconds before a mischevious grin grew on her face. "...Whyyyy yes, Starl'aght! That's exactly what it means." Apple Bloom said proudly. Starlight smiled to himself at this. "Cool, I got something right." He said cheerfully before looking back to Dinky. "So what's wrong with your mom anyway? Shouldn't she see a Doctor if she has "clumsy"?" He asked. "Clumsiness isn't something you can get like a cold, Starlight." Sweetie Belle commented, bringing relief to Starlight. "Phew, thank goodness. I thought it was contagious." He commented. "Wow, your vocabulary's gotten a lot better lately, Star." Scootaloo commented. "What does dancing have to do with being contagious?" He asked, confused. "Nevermind..." Scootaloo sighed. "It's not that something's wrong with her. She's just...has a lot of bad luck." Dinky said. "Everypony always just assumes my mom's destructive just because she wants to, but none of it is her fault." "Look, everypony knows it's not her fault Dinky. It's just hard to go along with it though when it's constant." Apple Bloom commented. "My mom can't help being who she is. I just wish everypony would treat us nicer." "Us?" Apple Bloom asked confused. "What do you mean by that?" Derpy's ears perked up as she listened closer to the explanation. "Because of my mom's..."accidents", some of the grown ups grow nervous when they see me because they think my mom's around. They give me weird looks and stuff." She explained with another frown. "What? That's al' crazy talk, Dinky." Apple Bloom suggested with a calm smile. "Ah'm positive it's just in your head." "B-But I'm sure it's true!" Dinky whined. "Even if it's not everypony, I've seen some ponies give us the look, and it's just..." "Just what?" Sweetie Belle asked? Dinky remained silent for a few moments. "I...I don't know...it's just embarassing I guess. Having my mom the way she is..." Dinky lowered her head a bit as she looked to the ground. "I just wish our lives were better sometimes." *POOOOOOOOOF!* There was a sudden gust of wind as Derpy burst through the green bush, flying away at quick speeds before anypony could notice. The uplifting wind was noticable by the group of friends, but nopony could figure out what it was exactly that caused it. All it did for them was give the alicorn a startled panic since the bush itself surprisingly popped from the ground, quickly jumping over and landing on his head, blinding him. The darkness was enough to send him into a screaming-scared fit as he suddenly bursted from the scene in a random direction, leaving his sparkling yellow dust floating in the air for awhile. The origional three crusaders sighed before they quickly gave chase to the glowing trail, knowing they would once again have to find their confused friend. Meanwhile, Derpy quickly took off to the sky, reaching up to the highest cloud possible before looking all across Equestria. After everything she heard, she had it. It was one thing for everypony to treat her like a maniac, and she could handle the whole "accident prone" logo everypony planted her with. But after hearing how not only everypony was treating Dinky a bit differently because of her, and the very fact Dinky herself wanted a life better than the one her mother was causing, she just about had it. There was no way she was going to continue her life like this where Dinky was going to pay because of her own faults. And she knew there was only one thing that would help improve their lives for the better: She had to get rid of these eyes! It was the only reasonable explanation and plan that came to Derpy! She couldn't control her eyes the way they were, they were always causing her to cause accidents around Ponyville, and they were the reason why she could never move in a coordinated manner. The only problem she now faced was what to do with them. She's had multiple check-ups before with Doctors, usually as an after result of getting knocked out during a crash, and they all told her the same thing; they can't fix her eyes! They always said it was something too risky of a procedure, and even if they could, nopony was trainned or knew how to. With that being said, Derpy determined there was only one pony in Equestria that could help her! Well...first she thought of Princess Celestia, but she knew with her being Royalty and all, there was no obvious way she could just waltz in and ask her for it. Which brought her to her second theory that she needed the smartest pony she could think of in Equestria that could and would help her. The only problem now was that she wasn't entirely aware of who that certain pony could be. But she did have a rule of hoof when it came to these type of things, and immediately dove back into Ponyville as she knew one thing; whoever the smartest pony was, they would obviously and most likely be located in a Library!!! ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Hahaha, oh gosh Twilight, that has got to be the dumbest thing you've ever done!" Spike said in a fit of laughter. "Spike, shut up!" Twilight said in complete and utter embarassment as she covered her heads with her hooves, blushing. It was just another day in the Twilight household/Library. Usualy around this type of day when she wasn't busy working on projects, studying new spells, or busy taking care of Starlight while teaching him a whole number of things like spells or reading material, she found herself with her own private free time. And what better way to spend one's freetime by doing nothing else than work on another project or spell anyway? Which was what Twilight found herself doing for the last half hour, and now she was regretting it. See, within the last half hour, Twilight decided it was time to study new potions and antidotes with her chemistry set. What with taking care of the new alicorn once a week, and helping her friends in the event he ended up causing pandemonium with his uncontrollable magic, she had almost no free time to work on her own fun activities which usually consisted of just doing more work. Although lately he was causing less and less chaos as time went on, she still rarely had time to do everything she wanted to within a given week, and this time her ideas came to the conclusion of working on her chemistry skills more. It seemed like the obvious choice since she almost always used the free time to do some extra studying and works with magic. Works with chemistry was something she rarely ever got to do this time of day. Now she was only wishing she either didn't do it today, or that she chose to at least study the effects of different chemicals today. Of all the types of chemicals and potions she looked at through her spell book, she found one that seemed to be the most interesting to her. It was an invisibility potion, and with a race of almost-always-naked ponies, she thought there couldn't be any negative side effects whatsoever! And boy was she wrong. The potion was to be used much like shampoo or a type of cream where she had to spread the liquid all around her body for it to take effect. She had the measurements correct, the procudre correct, and she even read the ingredients correctly too. The only problem she didn't see were the after effects. The instructions stated that the effects would turn her invisible for a total of five minutes, and they were right! Twilight slowly faded into transparency as the effects started to kick in a few seconds after dripping the contents over her. Spike was speechless to say the least. Not only did the effects make her completely invisible, but they distorted all noise she caused by making it echo throughout the room. She giggled to herself as she used the oppertunity to creep the small baby dragon out by startling him every now and then, grabbing him from out of nowhere, or levitating things around him while he was unaware like a ghost. She was having a blast. That's when everything started to go wrong. Once again, as the instructions stated, she finally began to reappear after the five minutes were up. Sure, it took a couple minutes to slowly fade back into view, but it did it's job none the less. The only problem of our story were the extra after effects. Apparently, seeing how it was supposed to be like a cream or shampoo, the liquid was to be absorbed into her skin for a few minutes for the effects to kick in, then they were to dissolve which would cause the pony-made-invisible visible again. However, one calculation Twilight didn't take in was her mane and tail. Much like real hair, the hair in her mane managed to absorb the liquid verily well, but when it came to dissolving again, she realized the greatest mistake she made was that all types of hair take much longer to dry up and dissolve. Had she been warned or prepared for this, she would have something to hide her current embarassment which brought tears of laughter to Spike. As of now, she was nothing more than a bald-headed and clear-tailed pony who looked like a boy. Not only because of her girl-styled hair and tail, but she looked more like a boy because of her missing eye lashes which she hadn't counted on either. Karma had a cruel way of getting back at any attempts of "fun" she tried to have with Spike, even if she deserved it. "Oh Celestia, this is so embarassing..." Twilight muttered, looking through her dwares to find something that could help. "Oh, hello sir. Have you seen a mare named Twilight around here? Ahh hahahaha!" Spike joked, landing on his back as he held his stomach from the laughter. "It's not funny!" Twilight complained with another blush. Spike sat back up as he did his best to hold in his laughter, clearing his throat. "Eh hem, you know what? You're right. I'm very sorry sir." Spike teased. "Well, since you're being mature about this, then I suppose I can forgive y-HEY!" She snapped again, blush going deeper as she continued digging through the dwares of her Library. Spike fell back into another fit of laughter as she fell for his trick. Spike had a playful tendancy with things like this, seeing how he was a baby dragon, and Twilight dreaded the next few weeks he would be hanging this over her. While she would've rephrased it a bit differently, like Spike said, this was hooves-down the most dumbest potion Twilight had yet to make. And with emphasis on the word yet, as when it comes to anypony who loves the field of knowledge and magic, it was only a matter of time before Twilight possibly did something just as embarassing as this again. The only sole relief Twilight had finally managed to find was a blue casual hat that Rarity made some time ago. It was mostly for Spike, who enjoyed it until the large green scales on his head got in the way. Now it was Twilight's simple relief as it covered whatever dignity she had left on her bald scalp. All it did for Spike's case was increase his laughter. "Ahahaha! Now you really do look like a stallion!" He joked. "Spike!" Twilight yelped again. *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* The constant and sudden loud banging on the doors caught the attention of the duo, making them forget about their sudden situation for only a single second. "Who's that?" Spike asked curiously. "Whoever it is, it sounds important." Twilight replied as she walked over. "I just hope they don't say anything about my mane..." She mumbled as she opened the door. She gave a casual smile at the sight of one of her usual friends of the day. "Oh! Hi Derpy! What brings you-" *THUD* The enxt thing that happened was unexpected by Twilight or Spike, mostly because of how sudden it was. Before Twilight even managed to finish her sentence, Derpy tackled her down to the ground as she began squeezing her front left hoof as if in desperation. The baby dragon was just as surprised as Twilight was, and just as confused as well. Niether of them were expecting the blonde mare to stop by their house today since she's already delivered all letters for the week to Twilight. And Spike was more surprise to simply see a pony like Derpy in a Library at all! It's not exactly a place you'd expect a pony like...Derpy, to show up on any non-job-related basis. "TWILIGHTYOUHAVETOTHEJOBTHERAINBOWTHECRASH-!" Derpy began sputtering, her lips moving practically a mile a second. "Derpy, Derpy! Slow down! I can't understand you!" Twilight quickly spoke up, gently pushing her friend off as she stood back up. "Now, slow down and tell me what you were saying. "Twiiiiiliiiiight yoooouuuu haaaavvv-" Derpy began in a much more litteral slow tone. "I mean speak normally." "Oh. Sorr- Huh!" Derpy suddenly gasped as she covered her mouth with her left hoof. "Twilight! Your mane..." Derpy pointed out. Spike picked up on his chuckles again as he did his best to hold it in, to Twilight's annoyance. "Yes yes, I know. It's-" "Your blue hat ate your mane and your tail! You've been butt-balded!" Derpy screamed in fear. Spike officially lost all control as he fell straight on his back in a mad fit of laughter. He actually had tears coming from his eyes he was laughing so hard. Twilight's embarassment even sinked in deeper it than she thought it ever could've been given her new state. Out of all the things she expect somepony or baby dragon to say if they saw her, saying she was "butt-balded" brought up an all new origional form of humiliating embarassment. If one of her other friends were there, she knew she would officially die of embarassment. And the fact Derpy was completely unaware of what she said simply made the laughter all too sweeter for Spike. "Let's just stick to why you're here..." Twilight suggested, closing the door behind Derpy with all her pride lost... _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "You were fired?!" Twilight stammered. The past half hour has been nothing but Derpy explaning to Twilight all that's happened to her all day today. Each thing she kept telling her seemed worse than the last, but out of all of it, she was still surprised to hear she was fired at all. With Rainbow Dash assisting her, she assumed that her job career would've gone fine, and there'd be no other problems. Sure there was the occasional accident and such, but nothing as major as the crash this morning through the Antique Store. What really made her feel great pity for Derpy was the last few minutes before arriving at the Library when she heard the conversation at the playground. Derpy had her heart completely torn out when she found out how she was being picked on by the other kids, aware it was just Diamond Tiara and Silverspoons who did the bullying, and by some of the ponies within Ponyville as well! She couldn't continue living her life like this if ponies would treat Dinky as badly as they treated Derpy, and she also knew Dinky was right; the only answer to this was to start a better life. And naturally, asking to change the physics of reality were a bit out of the question. So to conpensate, the only idea that came to mind was to start fixing her life starting from now. "So can you help me?" Derpy asked, somewhat pleadingly. Twilight let out a saddening sigh as she frowned. "Derpy, I'm really sorry about all that's happeend to you today. And I wish I could do something about your job too! But I'm not entirely sure if I can help you fix your eyes." She said disappointingly. "But why?!" Derpy asked with sadness in her voice. "Well...It's just that I don't know if it's entirely safe. I mean, we're not talking about a simple magic spell, Derpy. This would actually be a more or less permanent if I tried fixing your eyes, and I'm not one hundred percent sure it'll work. And if it doesn't, I might accidentally mess you up like-" "Turning me into a loopy-eyed Pegasus with the education span of an elementary school filly?" Derpy said as she pointed to her own head. Twilight did her best to give a comforting smile as she pat her head. "Ohhh Derpy, you're a lot smarter than that. Even if you are clumsy, it doesn't make you dumb." She commented, trying to cheer her friend up. "Well it fooled everypony else apparently." Derpy frowned as she looked away. Twilight moaned to herself at this. She knew Derpy quite well. Heck, everypony "knew" Derpy, but not as the nice trying-to-help pegasi she and her friends knew her of. Everypony knew Derpy as the pony that kept causing mass chaos and destruction all around Ponyville, and that was just a simple blatant sticker that stuck on Derpy for the large majority of her stressful life. With all the things Derpy's had to do up to this point, Twilight began to feel even more deeply sorry for her as she realized Derpy was a workahaloic. For a mare like Derpy to be working before even finishing her High Flight School in order to raise a small filly named Dinky by herself, she realized that up to this point, everypony's always asked her to simply stay away while through her life, Derpy hasn't asked for a single request up to now. With another sigh, she finally made her decision as she smiled to her friend. "Ok, I'll do it." She said. Derpy immediately beamed hpapily at this as she gasped. "Really!" She yelped perking up. She began giggling in joy and excitement as she began hopping in place, unaware of the weakening floorboard with the slowly growing crak until she fell through it. *CRASH!* Twilight's eyes widened as she quickly looked down the hole. Fortunately, even if a bit dazed with stars flying around her head, she appaeared to be perfectly fine. "I'm ok!" She assured. "Just...a bit dizzy..." *Later* "So you're sure this will work?" Derpy asked curiously as she sat on a green pillow. Twilight read through the rest of the instructions in the book for another few seconds before she replied. "I think so...All you have to do is keep your mind empty and let me handle the work." Twilight replied with a smile. "Oh, is that it? No problem then! Everypony says I'm great at keeping my mind empty." She said with a (sadly) happy smile. Twilight couldn't help but flop her ears down at this. "That's...great...to hear." She lied with a fake smile. "Hey wait- they didn't mean that as an insult did they?!" Derpy suddenly asked as if just realizing it. "Well-" Spike began, listening on the conversation as he sat on a pile of books. "Spike!" Twilight quickly interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. "What? I was kidding! Besides, I don't understand why she'd want to get rid of them to begin with. I kinda like her eyes, they're funny." He commented. "Spike..." Twilight muttered, noting his unawared-rudeness. "It's alright Twilight,. I actually will admit they seem silly to me when I see them in a mirror too." She said. "Say, before you go ahead and fix your eyes, I was always wondering something. What's it like having your eyes all..." Spike did his best to imitate Derpy's eyes as he shook his head back and forth. There was an audible rattling noise as his eyes swirled all around. "Spike!" Twilight yelled again, getting a bit irritated. Spike shrugged at her. "What? I was just curious." He stated. "Hmm...I never really thought about it really. I guess it's sort of like a Kaleidoscope, only theres two images at once, and when my eyes get centered really hard, that's the only time I can see straight. It gives me a headache though, and when it gets loopy agian, I get dizzy for awhile. Oh, and everything is constantly blurry." "Huh...interesting." Spike commented. "Ever tried using a Kaleidoscope with your eyes like that?" He asked curiously. "Don't even get me started on that." She said with a chuckle. "It makes me so dizzy I end up throwing up almost all the time right after!" "Cool! Let's try it out! I think I have a Kaleidoscope around here somewh-" "That's it!" Twilight snapped, having enough irritation through the constant interrupts, Spike's rudeness, and not wanting to take the chance of the two actually "try out" making Derpy throw up. Twilight's horn began to glow as she started levitating Spike into the air, carrying him over to the Basement door. "Until Derpy and I are finished, all baby dragons are to wait in the basement!" She decreed. "Awww c'mon, Twilight! I was just joking..." Spike said. His words apparently fell on deaf ears as Twilight gingerly tossed him on the steps of the basement, slamming the door shut before locking it. She was satisfied with her work until she realized one thing she completely forgot about. "So have you ever tried using two Kaleidoscopes at once then?" Spike shouted from the basement. His voice was coming from the newly-formed hole in the floor Derpy recently made. Twilight groaned to herself as she rolled her eyes, quickly walking back towards Derpy to continue. "Ok lets get this over with before anymore Kaleidoscope ideas are made." Twilight stated, quickly flipping the pages in her spellbook again as she lied her right hoof on Derpy's forehead. "Are you ready?" She asked. "Ready as I'll ever be I guess." She replied. Twilight took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. Concentrating carefully, she began channeling all her magic into her horn. The spell itself was going to be very delicate procudure. Working in fields of magic, the easy part was knowing whatever spell she was trying to cast, the time spent for the actual spell would be quick. The bad news was what the spell would do. Twilight has almost never worked on changing something physical within a pony before. Sure she changed other things before like turning mice into Chariot Horses, and she's even gone as far as to making a few moustache spells for ponies and Spike. But none of those spells related to messing with something connected to somepony's brain before, so she had to be careful. Taking a deep breath to relax, she finally readied herself as she began channeling the magic from her horn, all the way into her hoof she was touching Derpy with, and finally, into Derpy herself. Derpy's eyes suddenly gave off a glow-in-the-dark green coloring as the magic worked it's way into her mind all at once. The scenery shifted into an X-Ray type of view as it showed the inside of Dinky's head, and more importantly, the eyes that were the problem of the Derpy's dilemma. Upon a closer view, the blue-colored nerves connecting Derpy's eyes to her brain appeared to be twisted up like a Twizler. It was easy to identify this as the sole cause of Derpy's eye problems. With another great push, the magic began working its way through the nerves connecting the eyes to the brain. The purplish glow showed how far the magic was going as it worked her way towards the brain. The magic came to a momentary stop once it hit the twisty part of her nerves. Obviously, the magic couldn't pass with the nerves like this, and began working their...magic (I'm gonna die someday from someone who hates my puns) as they began untwisting the nerves around, working them around until they were finally flattened out and straight. Once that was out of the way, the magic quickly rushed to her brain as it finished it's purpose. All at once, Derpy's already glowing green eyes glowed brighter and brighter until a sudden flash of light burst through the room. The flash was only brief, but the next thing anypony knew, Derpy was suddenly thrusted back against a shelf along the wall behind her. The collion was strong enough to have all the books come tumbling down on her, burying her from top to bottom. The gathered magic from finally evaporated from Twilight as she let out a sigh of relief. Like she predicted, the magic took a lot of effort on her concentration, and it would be at least a few minutes before she could carry out another large spell like that. The light-headedness she momentarily felt was quickly replaced with worry as she saw the clustered up pile of books on the grey pegasus. "Derpy!" Twilight yelled worriedly. She quickly used her magic to levitate the books off of her. At the same time, the scenery switched to a first-pony-view from Derpy's perspective as she watched the glowing, slightly blurry magic lift off her of her. Her vision finally began to clear up once she saw Twilight looking down at her with a smile. "Hey, you ok?" She asked. Derpy moaned a bit as she rubbed her forehead. "Nnnghh...I don't know, my head feels fuzzy. And things are still blurry." She replied. "Your vision might be like that for a little bit until it clears up." Twilight explained. "Doesn't feel like anything changed then." She commented. She looked closely as she saw Twilight raise one of her hooves in front of her. "How many hooves do you see?" She asked. Derpy squinted a bit before replying. "Three?" She answered in a questioning tone. Twilight raised a brow at her. "Three? Oh no, don't tell me I messed up the spell or-" Twilight's eyes suddenly widened in surprise as she saw two pink hooves, one on each side, right next to her's. "Ah!" She yelped. To her surprise and confirmation, the pink hooves suddenly covered her eyes, letting her know exactly who it was. "Guess whooooooooooo!" The "familiar" voice asked in a super-duper-happy-as-always tone. "Pinkie Pie?" Derpy said curiously. "Awwww Derpy! You weren't suppose to guess, Twilight was." Pinkie Pie complained. Twilight simply chuckled as she gently pulled her friend's hooves off of her face. "It's ok, Pinkie. I already knew it was you." She stated. "But it's only fun when the pony you're asking guesses. Now I'll have to start over!" She said. "What are you even doing here anyway?" Twilight asked. "Oh! I saw the flashing lights and heard some pounding noise in here and thought you were having a party!" She replied, bouncing in excitement. Twillight could only sigh to this, feeling a bit disappointed she wasn't at all surprised with that response. She took a brief double take to Derpy before looking back at Pinkie Pie. "Say Pinkie Pie, notice anything different about Derpy?" She asked curiously. Pinkie Pie squinted her eyes at this point as she got a closer look at Derpy. And by closer, I mean she litterally had her face a mere inch away from Derpy as she looked her right in the eyes. "Hmmmmmm..." She mumbled. "Anything at all? Maybe something you're looking at right now?" She hinted. Pinkie Pie moaned again to herself as she looked closely, although at this point it was rather hard to look any closer than she was now. Seeming to finally realize it, Pinkie Pie let out a startled gasp. "Huh! Derpy! I can't believe it..." Pinkie Pie exclaimed in shock. "I know, right?" "Twilight, you've been butt-balded!" Pinkie Pie suddenly stammered, turning her attention fully to her. There was a rather loud and obnoxious laughter coming from the basement as Spike heard what was said. Twilight was officially lost for words at that point. First off, she'll never fully understand how Pinkie Pie seemingly came to that conclusion since she was only focused on Derpy the whole time. Secondly, she officially decided to ban herself from ever using the invisibility potion again if this was the negative side effect that would always keep occuring. And lastly, she decreed for the rest of her life, she COMPLETELY HATED the invisibility potion. With all these thoughts out, she finally took a deep breath in in order to relax, then calmly and clearly breathed out. "No, that's not it." She said calmly. "Oh...is it the fact Derpy's eyes are straight then?" She asked. "Yes!" Twilight replied with a smile. "That's right." Derpy nearly flinched at that comment. "W-Wait, really?" Derpy asked, unsure for herself. "Uh huh!" Twilight said enthusiastically. She used her magic as she levitated a small hoof-mirror from her work drawer over to Derpy. "Look for yourself." Twilight suggested as she handed (or should I really consider it "hoofded"?) the mirror. The scenery finally returns to it's normal view as everypony was focused on the observing Derpy. It was completely true to Twilight's word. Derpy couldn't believe it herself, and even after all the doctors said it couldn't be done, she was close to believing the same thing. But now after all that was said and done, Derpy seriously couldn't believe what she was seeing. The fact she could see clearly now since the fuzziness cleared up was enough to even prove it! She was looking back at herself in the mirror, not a single misplaced alignment between her eyes at all. They were perfectly straight and centered just as she had hoped for. She poked around her eye, gently of course, just to see if this was some form of trick or something. This was officially a dream come true to her. "M-My-My e-e-ey-eyes!" She studdered, almost petrified with shock. "T-Th-They're r-re-re-reallllllll!" She squeeled with a teethy grin. "See? They worked just like I told you they wou-" *THUD!* Twilight was completely thrown off and surprised as Derpy tackled herself on her. The next thing she knew, she was either in the airless void of space, or the suffocating headlock of an over-excited blonde pegasus. And she knew it was the latter. "OOOOOOH THANK YOU TWILIGHT!" Derpy squeeled again, crushing Twilight in a headlocked-hug as she shook her back and forth. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THA-" *Cough!* "D-Der...py..." Twilight moaned, trying to pry herself from Derpy's surprisingly strengthy grip. "I...I'm glad you..." *Cough* "Ap-Appre...ciate it...B-But if you don't let goo...ack!...I'm gonna turn a shade of purple...that's not even p-poss..bile..." She muttered, surprisingly turning darker and darker shades of purple than she origionally was. Derpy just stared at this briefly before giggling nervously, quickly letting go. "Oops, sorry." She apologized sincerely. "HUUUUUUUFF!" Twilight gasped loudly, trying to take in as much air as possible. She spent the next few moments trying to get oxygen flowing back through her lungs. At the same time, Derpy was looking all around her in the library. She was completely fascinated on her view view of life. And quite litterally in this case. All this time, she's been looking at everything in a strange double-vision type of format, while at other times, everything was just a big giant blue to her. But now that she could see perfectly, she could actually see things like details and solid shapes! Not just squiggly lines on the edges of objects anymore. Even the colors of things were surprisingly more clearer to her now, and she never really knew how beautiful crystal-clear colors were. Then again, seeing nothing but fuzzy colorings would seem a bit dull to anypony after a long time. "Woooow." Derpy said in amazement. "Look how clear everything is!" Twilight just gave a sweet smile to her. "Clear?" Pinkie repeated confused before gasping. "Huh! Twilight, I think you gave her X-Ray vision!" Pinkie yelled excitedly. Twilight playfully rolled her eyes at this before looking back to Derpy. "Well...yeah. Welcome to life's natural view I guess." Twilight said in a cheerful tone. Derpy seemed completely obvlivious to her words though. She was too busy enjoying the view of...well...everything! There wasn't a single thing that seemed the least bit boring to her since the long time span of complete blurriness. She forgot how interesting and beautiful things were these days since the last time she even had clear vision again. She never knew how interesting something as simple as one's vision could be. With her vision as blurry as it is, or was I should say, she didn't think noticing how simple things could seem like a miracle to her again. It was just plain astounding to her, like it would for anypony who's had a prolonged life of near-blindness in their life. Her daydreaming and sight seeing was cut short as she stepped on one of the books that fell from the shelf she crashed into. "Huh? What's this?" She tilted her head in curiousity before picking it up for a closer look. "Oh, what do you know? One of my Daring Do books. I was wondering when Rainbow Dash was going to return it." Twilight commented, surprised to see it at all since Rainbow Dash's craze with books. "Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone?" Derpy Read aloud. She let out a silent chuckle to herself. "Gee, been forever since I could read anything." Derpy looked over the cover for a little bit before looking back to Twilight. "Say Twilight I don't suppose..." She hinted on. Twilight's eyes perked up in surprise. "Wha- You want to borrow it?" She questioned. Derpy gave her a confused look. "Umm...Yeah. What, is something wrong?" She asked. "N-No!" Twilight said with a nervous chuckle. "Eh heh...It's just that I didn't think you were much of the reading type. Even with your eyes the way they are." Derpy raised a brow in more confusion to this. "Annnd why would you think something like that?" She asked. Twilight grew slightly uneasy with her questioning. "N-No." She hesitated. "I just thought....Errr...You ddidn't seem like the uhhh..." Twilight began to sweat as she thought of a polite way to reply. "Literate?" Derpy asked. "Invisible?" Pinkie guessed as well, thinking it was some form of game. "No, I just mean y-" Twilight suddenly froze at the ideal vocabulary Derpy decided to use. "Wait, what did you just say?" She asked. "Oh you don't know what Literate means? It just means somepony with an conditioned education with the basic principles of reading and writing." Derpy explained. ... ... ... There was a sudden akward silence that filled the library as Twilight's pupils shrank. Not once had Twilight, or anypony in Equestria, heard something so sophisticated about anything Derpy said. She's never even said anything sophisticated about muffins or bubbles, and those were the two biggest things she was an expert at! At least an expert out of the things Derpy was best at. Even when it came to getting ingredients for muffins, which she had Dinky or Carrot Top help her with since she couldn't read small writing, she's never really classified the food as some sort of fancy wording. She's just called them by their basic names and how they look. The most sohpisticated thing she's ever said was "long yellowy round stick-like fruit", and that's when she was referring to a bananana. Regardless, with all that's been going on today, and seeing how this was sort of a happy moment for Derpy, she decided to shrug it off. "I really gotta lay off the cocoa before bed..." Twilight mumbled to herself, deciding she was just hearing things. "Anyway, nevermind what I said. Of course you can borrow it Derpy." Twilight said politely. "Cool! Thanks Twilight." Derpy replied before flying through the front door. And for once, it didn't require her actually crashing through it this time to get through. She acutally managed to open the door this time, THEN went through it. Twilight sighed at this point, feeling for once in her life she went a full month without having some spell backfire on her. "Hey Spike, what 'cha doing down there?" Pinkie Pie asked as she looked through the hole in the floor. "Oh, Twilight put me in here because she went bald. I swear, it's halarious though!" Spike yelled back. "Hehehe, I know! It's like she's butt-balded too!" Pinkie Pie added. "Geeeh!" Twilight groaned. She grumbled to herself as she closed the door Derpy left through. So much for not having anything backfire... _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ *Later* "Ahh, what a good book." Derpy thought to herself as she finished reading Daring Do. She sighed cheerfully to herself as she rested her back against the cloud she was laying on to look at the sky. It was definitely a sight to behold. There was so much wonder to a pony whose been blind for so long to see the world now for what it was really like. Not much time had passed since she left the Library, at least to her it didn't. She was enjoying too much of her free time looking around Ponyville and all it's wonders. Sure, there weren't actually any "wonders" to Ponyville that were memorable, but to Derpy, everything officially was. It didn't really help much that almost everypony whose building she went near slammed the door shut in fear of property damage, but she simply ignored it as she enjoyed the scenery. The problem with her job was still getting to her though. She was a bit worried about what she could possibly do about her job situation at this moment. Sure, she could just get another job at this point, but who in Equestria would hire her? A lot of ponies throughout the world know of her hoofdy-work, which isn't something she's proud of at this point, and it'd be a miracle if somepony would hire her that isn't afraid of her either. Whether it's a fear of her or just the fear of her damaging their property, nopony in Ponyville was going to give her a chance. And even if they would offer her a job, when it came to the interview portion of a job, that usually requires references, and there'd be nopony to use as a good reference for her. Not even her friends; even if they didn't mean to make her out to be a bad pony, they'd have to be honest. As much as Derpy didn't want to admit it, she wasn't all too hoofdy (for those wanting to kill the author for his numerous bad puns about replacing any words with "hands" with the words "hoof/hooves"- GET IN LINE) when it came to entirely responsible tasks. But for now, Derpy tried pushing those thoughts out of her head as she tried to enjoy herself. Sure, there would be a lot of dilemmas she'd have to handle later on, but if she knew she was going to face them anyway, she decided just to enjoy herself while she could. And besides, who knows? Maybe somehow she'll get lucky in the end and this will all work out for her after all. And if it didn't then at least it wouldn't ruin her present fun of cloud watching. While most ponies would find this boring after awhile, having no clear vision let her enjoy the simple things of life as of now, and trying to think of what different clouds looked like was a lot of fun for her. One cloud looked like a giraffe to her. Another cloud looked like a large tree with a round top. And that cloud looked like Rainbow Dash!...Oh wait.... "Ah!" Derpy quickly yelped, startled as Rainbow Dash quickly burst in front of her. "Derpy! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere." Rainbow Dash stated. "Oh, hi Rainbow Dash." Derpy greeted casually. Rainbow Dash's right brow rose as she looked at Derpy strangely. "Umm...Derpy? What's with your eyes?" She asked curiously. "Isn't it great? Twilight fixed them!" Derpy said excitedly. "She...fixed...your eyes?" Rainbow Dash said, still a bit confused. "Yup! I can see clearly now! No blurs, dizziness, or swirls." She said cheerfully. "Oh yeah...Twilight said somethin' about you having some surprise. She said you left an hour ago, just right after I got done asking her what happened to her butt." She commented. Derpy suddenly tilted her head a bit. "An hour ago?" She repeated before looking at the book in her hooves. It only took me an hour to read this? Derpy asked herself. Rainbow Dash's attention quickly switched to the book in Derpy's hooves. "Hey, what are you doing with that?" Derpy quickly looked back. "Oh, just doing a bit of reading," she replied as she looked back to the book, "but I just finished it." She added. "...Derpy?" "Yeah?" "You do know that book doesn't have any pictures aside from the cover...right?" "Well...yeah, why?" "...Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm finding it very doubtful that you read the whole book by now." Rainbow stated. Derpy blinked a bit surprised at Rainbow's doubt. "What? But it's true!" "Yeah right!" Rainbow Dash retorted, swiping the book from Derpy. She began flipping through the pages until she stopped somewhere mid-book. "Ok then, who is Daring Do's arch nemesis in this book?" "Auhizotl." Derpy answered quickly. "Heh heh, lucky guess..." Rainbow Dash mumbled as she quickly flipped through pages again. "How does Daring Do get the Sapphire Statue?" "She had to overcome numerous traps including one where she had to cross an entire room of tiles marked with different animals. She had to cross the floor by only stepping on the herbivore-related species, then escape the temple once the room started filling with lava." Derpy replied, rolling her eyes bored. "C'mon, give me a hard one!" She demanded. Rainbow Dash silently grumbled at her stubborness. "...Ok, that's it. No more Mr. nice mare!" Rainbow Dash deemed as she quickly flipped through the pages frantically. "How does the book e-" "Daring Do narrowly escapes death at the claws od Auhizotl's trap by richocheting her hat numerous times until it deactivates the lever of said trap, then quickly flies away now that her wing's healed. Just as Auhizotl is enjoying his relaxation while determining how to rule the world, Daring Do swoops in and snatches the statue back, yada yada yada. Seriously, at that point I began losing interest in the book. The fiblical manner of the ending started dissipating all plausible reality it had. I could buy the injured wing and all and the possible temple, but by the time span that the temple was made to when Daring Do plundered it's treasure, that lava trap would've set off the minute she stepped on any of the tiles. I mean seriously, with the counterwieght and the perception of the gravity, without any pillars or such to amplify the support structure of the trap's triggering mechanism, any one of those said tiles should've set the trap off to begin with." Derpy explained, in one of the most outrageously detailed-explained topics she's ever discussed. All Rainbow Dash could do during the entire course of that one "small" explanation was twitch her eye in a mix of confusion, annoyance, and fear. "...TWILIGHT! SOMEPONY'S FILLYNAPPED AND REPLACED DERPY! AND THEY'RE USING CONFUSINGLY SCARY LOGIC AGAINST ME!!!" Rainbow Dash yelled in a tattletale tone, quickly bursting away from the scene in fear. Derpy just blinked in confusion at the scene before shrugging her shoulders. "Gee, talk about a strange pegasus." She commented before rubbing her chin. "Altough...Her comment about a picture book did give me a thought." She said to herself as she looked at the book's cover. "I haven't really examined any pictures in awhile...not even ones I took myself. And there's only one place in Equestria where a pony can find numerous pieces of artwork and paintings!" She declared excitedly. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "The Ponyville Galleria Gallery!" Derpy read aloud as she read the golden-plated sign. Her attention quickly switched to the Museum itself with a smile. If there was any piece of modern art somewhere in Equestria somepony wanted to see, the Galleria Gallery was the place to go. It had many famous works of artwork from the Ponelisa to the Pony-Caserol. Not to be confused with the Picaso piece of artwork. Derpy sighed gleefully at the sight of the building, already excited about the mere thought of what pictures and paintings she would see. Without further ado, she trotted along the way to the entrace. Ready, willing, and abled, she pushed the front doors swide open, not letting anything get in her way! *3 seconds later* "No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" A richly dressed chestnut-maned pony yelled frantically, pushing Derpy out the door with his head. "I am sorry Ms. Hooves, but I cannae' let you in after last visit's...pleasantries." The pony explained in a Frenchy-accent. "Besides, I can a'sure you we do nuh have any deliveries from your serv'eces anymore." He added. Derpy quickly looked back to him as she brushed off the dust built up from him pushing her across the dirt-covered path. "But I'm not here to make a delivery, I'm just here to look at the artwork." She replied, earning a questionable look from the stallion. "W-Wha? You are just 'ere to observe our paintings?" He asked, tapping his chin. "Well...yeah." She replied simply. The chestnut pony rubbed his chin some more in thought. The philosophy of the Museum was that anypony could come and observe their vast wodners of artwork from days of old days of new, and days of places from other places. Although he never really understood that last bit considering how confusing it was, he did know it meant anypony was allowed in to look at their works of art, and with no exceptions to this case. It was a rule the chestnut pony was regretting considering nopony has met somepony like Derpy. Or at least the Derpy everypony used to know. And there was no way he was going to forget the incident last year. The chestnut pony found himself at a cross. Risk the safety of the museum, or risk the safety of his job? He couldn't make an exception to anypony for that matter, but there was so much risk involved if he allowed her inside. He did remember his options were limited though. He couldn't let last year's fire be the excuse of his dilemma, esspecially since nothing was damaged from said fire (thank Celestia). With a hearty sigh, he rubbed his forehead in a regretting-like gesture as he finally replied. "Very well Ms. Hooves, but we do nuh want anu'dare repeat of last year's inncident, no?" He stated. Derpy playfully rolled her eyes as she shook her hoof at him. "Oh please, things like that won't ever happen again." She replied as she started walking past him casually. The chestnut pony raised his brow at her. "Oh, and what makes you so 'eh sure?" He asked. Derpy looked back with a simple smile as she kept walking. "Because, I'm the new Derpy! The new one is way less clumsy-!" *Bam* "Ouch!" She suddenly yelped, falling back as she rubbed her snout. There was a slight sting to it as she looked back towards the door frame which it collided into. The timing of the event was close-to-perfect, given the scenario. Derpy chuckled slightly as she rubbed the back of her head. "Eh heh...well I said less, not compeltely..." She commented, quickly trotting along inside before the Frenchy-pony changed his mind... ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Woooooow..." Derpy said in amazement as her eyes sparkled. The inside of it was exactly as expected: a perfect example of modern objet d'art mixed in with a surreal evnironment of nonchalant artworks from different eras and origins!...The very thought of what Derpy just said made her blink suddenly as she shook her head, trying to figure out where that came from. For the time being, however, she decided to shrug it off as she wanted to use this day to enjoy herself, and break out the new eyes. And for the first time since getting these new eyes, she was having a blast! First she observed most to all of the natural paints in in the Art Gallery. There was a wide array of colors which mixed in contrast, symetry, and illusions. Some of the paintings really surprised her, like one of which she had to decide for herself whether it was a vase or two ponys' heads right next to each other. Another rather famous piece, famous above all others in most societies, was the infamous Ponelisa. The picture itself was simple, bland, and average. Yet there was always some sort of wonder and curiosity everypony who looked upon it asked themselves "why was she smiling?", or "what reason". It was just one of those age-old questions. The next exhibit she examined was the Sculpture Gallery, which, as the name implies, dealt with all manner of clay sculptures and other modled pieces of artwork. Some of the memorable types of artworks were such pieces as the great Thinker piece, which had a simple pony sitting in one spot on a pedastal, thinking to himself, and raising more questions like why he was thinking. Another infamos piece was a simple sculpture of a stallion standing on his two hind legs. Derpy was a bit interested in the style and form of the sculpture, but the only thing that turned her away was a single clam-shaped sculpture piece that was covering his..."Stallioness". She felt a slight blush at the thought of the "missing-detail", quickly trotting away from the scene before somepony else saw her embarassed state. Sadly, like all good things ponies enjoyed, the factor of time finally began to draw near the end as Derpy ran out of galleries to explore. There was a good number of different art pieces to look at, but there for a simple building of average size, the Museum itself wasn't a full-fledge "museum", at least in terms of size and appearance. There were only two floors, and in actuality, six rooms per floor. But there was only so much to look at before Derpy grew bored with repetitive pieces of art, and the lack of displays and descriptions each room had after she visited them. With a sad sigh, Derpy found herself walking towards the entrance again as she was about to leave. That's when she heard yelling. "240 Bits!" "360!" "500!" Random ponies started to shouting, catching Derpy's attention. In another section of the Museum, one Derpy had missed and paid less attention to due to being sealed off by the red fancy rope, had suddenly become booming with activity. Derpy's curiosity got the best of her as she began trotting over to the red leather rope to get a better look. Unfortunately, she was blocked off by another Pegasi with bulging muscles and rather tincy tiny wings. This pegasus was better known as Snowflake. "YEAH!!! Name please!" He asked, in more of a commanding tone. "Uhhh...huh?" "I NEED YOUR NAME ON THE LIST!!!" He shouted, blowing her eyelids and mane back as his voice boomed. Derpy's pupils shrank a bit as the booming ended, trying to snap out of it as she shook her head again to gain focus. "Ummm...Juuuust curiosity, what's going on in there?" She asked. "IT'S A WEEKLY CANTERLOT AUTION! YEAH!!!" He shouted proudly. "Every week Canterlot ponies gather here in Ponyville to auction off rare pieces of art for their own museum or collection!" He explained. Derpy tilted her head curiously. Not once in her life of Ponyville had she heard of Ponies having Art Auctions around here. Then again, being her first time being in the Museum too, it wasn't all too surprising. For some strange reason, she found herself interested in the idea of the Auction that was currently taking place. She couldn't figure out why, but for some strange reason, a little voice inside of her head was telling her to go into the Auction exhibit no matter what. And being the first time she had that voice in her head tell her something since she had her eyes fixed, she knew she just had to do it. All she had to do at this point was figure out how to get passed a muscle-headed pony. "ARE YOU ON THE LIST!" He asked again, in more of a commanding tone than questioning, again. "Uhh...Yes?" She replied qeustionably. "YEAH!!! THEN WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" He asked, looking back. "Umm...what name's still on there?" "SUSAN CLOUDS' STILL NOT HERE!" He stated. "Ummm...theeen yeah! That's me! Susan Cloud." She lied, giving a nervous smile back with her teeth showing. "OH SUSAN! YEEEAH! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP! COME ON IN!!!" He yelled excitedly, even though yelling was basically common at this point for him. With a simple satisfied grunt to himself, he removed the leather strip from the doorway, letting her in. The sight that greeted her next was both expected, and surprising to her. There were a bunch of fancy-dressed ponies all around chatting amongst themselves about their usual successes in life, or about the modern art they were auctioning for their museum. Unlike a traditional auction, the acutions around here were organized into a party-like fashion; while attending to the guests in a party-like style, every five minutes the Museum's host would regularly bring about a new item to auction off. It was a rather fancy way of auctioning items off for the rich folk without there being any moment of boredom, thirst, or hunger among the guests. And it was esspecially important for the Museum hosts to put on his or her best presentation when dealing with rich from Canterlot. Bigger display and enjoyment equals bigger payment. In the world of business, payment was good. Another aspect of the Art Auctioning in Ponyville was diving members of the rich community into "teams". "Teams" would be an understatement in this case, considering how a large number of rich ponies were usually trying to play monopoly; they wanted to control each others' businesses. Usually when it came to such affairs like "helping" each other buy another painting or art piece, they would usually hold that against the other pony when it came to paying back personal favors. "Attention all esteemed Gusests, attention!" The Auctioneer spoke up, catching everypony's attention. "The next piece will begin auctioning in two minutes! All guests please match up with a partner so we may resume." He stated. All of which left Derpy slightly confused and worried about her current predictament. She didn't know about the ongoing auction that was currently taking place, and she had no way of telling what to do if somepony found out she was just a commoner pony. For the most part, she assumed everypony was doing with the auction and that they were simply socializing for the remainder of their stay. Given that it was her first time in an auction of such formalities, however, it wasn't to surprising to her that she got the info wrong at this point. But she also knew she could get into trouble for coming to such a formal event uninvited. "Yoohoo, excuse me fellow mare?" A voice suddenly called out, catching Derpy's attention. The pony himself appeared to be a rather stylishly-dressed pony with a single monocole and tuxedo. He was also sporting a simple yet pure violet bowtiw between the collar of the tux. If the shining blue-colored mane and tail, which also went with his similary-colored moustache and eyes, didn't show off how rich and successful he was, then the three golden crowns he had for a cutiemark most certainly did. Fortunately for Derpy, he appeared to be along the lines of the polite sophisticated types compared to some of the other Canterlotian ponies. Derpy could recall a few instances when she had to make deliveries to Canterlot in which she ended up running into a few of the ponies (or in her case, flew in to). They never were in the msot pleasant mood whenever she met them, often being the burden of insults and other tauntings whenever she met them. Then again, she couldn't really blame them considering three-fourths of the time she met them, it was usually after she crashed into their businesses. On the bright side, he didn't seem too familiar with her and vice versa. That would explain the only calming aura she was feeling from him compared to the numerous uneasy auras she was getting from the rest of the room. Even if they didn't show it, he could perfectly feel them all scoffing at her in silence. She lowered her head a bit regrettably at this as she trotted over to him. "U-Uhhh o-ok-ok..." She mumbled as she walked over. The Stylishly-dressed pony simply smiled as she made her way over. "Ah, much better, the more the merrier they say, eh?" He commente enthusiastically. "Uhh...Y-Yeah, sure..." She replied nervously. "Well now, no need to be alarm. I'm sure we can work out some business arrangement once this is done and-" He paused suddenly as he eyed her suspiciously. "Say, I don't believe I've seen you at one of our auctions. Are you new?" He asked curiously. Derpy began to grow nervous as she was already suspected much earlier than expected. "Uhhh....W-Well you see-" "SHE'S SUSAN CLOUD! YEAAAH!" Snowflake shouted again, repappearing out of nowhere and just as quickly disappearing. There was a small silence thanks to the sudden shouting, but everypony's attention quickly turned to the front of the auction as the mike went off. "Em hem, this thing on?" The Auctioneer checked to make sure before smiling. "I'd like to bring your attention to our next piece to come up, this authentic origional piece of the constellations, featuring Starswirl The Bearded's constellation as well. I'd like to start the bidding at 50 bits!" He announced. "60 bits!" "75 bits!" "100 bits!" Random ponies started shouting. It was quite a hustle to multiple ponies within the room, and Derpy could see why. It wasn't just the swirl of paintings and colors that melded together perfectly with the picture itself, but the painting itself had a grand shimmer about it that surprisingly made the stars realistic. It was no doubt coated with paint infused with magic, but the fact it was infused at all was even more incredible! Usually when it came to infusing magic to something, it was always tricky business. But when it comes to infusing magic to actual colors, esspecially paints, that was something hard to accomplish, and even harder to keep it all in one piece without blowing up on itself. The painting was valuable to make a long story short. And anypony would love to get their hooves on such a magnificent painting like this. So the only question Derpy had to ask was why this pony wasn't bidding? "Pssst, aren't you gonna bid anything?" She whispered over. "Why are you whispering?" He asked with a raised brow. Derpy blinked to herself for a bit before shrugging. "Ummm....I don't know." She simply replied. "But you should bid!" She suggested. The fancy pony chuckled to himself at this. "Hm hm hmm, it's a touching thought, but no thanks. I've already done quite a bit of bidding for the week. I doubt I'll make much off of this piece." He stated. The pony's statement rang through Derpy's head for some reason, mostly trying to figure out how much the painting was truly worth. Without even realizing it, numbers began scattering through her head as she went into thought, putting seemingly limitless equations and scenarios in her head in only mere seconds. And for once, it wasn't mere seconds because she grew a headache and decided to stop thinking; that's how fast she solved each step of the situation. What may have seemed like full hours to comprehend to anypony else ended up taking a full ten seconds for Derpy to fully determine and decide. "Bid for it!" Derpy deemed to the rich Unicorn. The Unicorn raised his brow at her again. "Beg pardon?" He questioned. "Trust me! You should try to buy it!" She repeated. The Unicorn gave her a simple smile. "Susan, I appreciate the thought, but I really don't think my money would be well spent with-" "We have 200 bits! 200 going once!" The Auctioneer stated loudly, coming to a close with the item. "Look, I can't explain it all at this moment, but I guarantee it'll be worth it!" She commented. The Unicorn rubbed his chin as he gave her a questionable look. "200 going twice!" The Auctioneer added. "Are you su-" "Yes! Just hurry!" She squeeled, practically having a close-to-nervous breakdown. The Unicorn finally sighed. "Three times, and s-" "400 bits!" The Unicorn finally spoke up, much to Derpy's relief and everypony else's shock. Even the Auctioneer was momentarily lost for words, but maintained his professionalism as he cleared his throat. "Eh hem, my word! It looks like this fine Stallion certainly wants this valuable piece of work. Sold, for 400 bits!" The Auctioneer announced, concluding today's auction with the final piece. "Yes!" Derpy cheered quietly to herself as the Unicorn casually trotted over to his prize, levitating it back over. "Yes yes, bravo I suppose." The fancily-dressed pony cheered in a questioning tone. "Although I'm still questioning what the point of that was. I have many other paintings like it, so, if I do say so myself, it seems kind of wasteful getting another." He commented as he began levitaing his cup of tea to drink. "What makes this piece so special?" He asked as he sipped. "Oh, because the painting's real worth is over 2,000 bits." *PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT* The fancy pony suddenly did a spit-take as he began going into a coughing fit from what he just heard. The rest of the ponies in the gallery also let out an audible gasp, both fom the fact she said something that made the pony spit in shock, and from what Derpy said in general. Derpy's expression shrank to nervousness as she saw everypony's expression, feeling like she just did something illegal with what she just said. She gave a small nerving smile to the audience as her eyes shifted back and forth, worried about what she could have said. "Ehh..heh...i-i-is s-something wrong?" She studdered. The attention quickly turned back to the other pony as he briefly wiped his mouth with a decorative hankerchif from his coat pocket, tucking it away as soon as he was done. "Eh hem...I apologize for the attrocious display but I was really taken back by the last comment. Now what did you say again?" He asked with a raised brow. "Ehmm...W-Well I t-think the real standing price is...somewhere around 2,000 bits?" She repeated, still causing just as much surprise as she did previously. There were alot of ponies suddenly gossiping amongst themselves as they all eyed her strangely. The only pony who did seem to actually speak his mind though was her current partner of the Auction. "Well I must say that's quite an interesting comment, but tell me how exactly you came to that theory?" He asked curiously. Derpy actually smiled at this. While she might not know alot about the auctions they hold for the Canterlot ponies, she did know a thing or two about detail. "Well, to be honest it's hard at first to tell this monque from the copy that was made during 1800's, but the real one was designed to have an abbray of fluctuating stars that crystalize the serene image which was implemented by one of Starswirl's earlier experiments when he had his assistances test the effects of magic and synthetic coloring based on lighting from a crystal prism invented from an earlier experiment when-" And Derpy continued. The rest of the ponies were truly stunned at the elaborate and professional explanation Derpy continued to put on. Not once had anypony in Canterlot seen a pony with such class about the history of modern art, nor had they ever met anypony who could remember something none of them had even heard of since grade school. Not only that, but some of the ponies jaw's nearly dropped as the explanation continued. While still being a high scociety class of ponies and being overly-well educated, some of the things the pony continued rambling on about actually brought confusion to them, despite knowing she was simply explaining why the painting itself was worth so much. At the same time, the Auctioneer's assistant quickly began calculating and recording everything Derpy was explaining about the painting, and found himself perplexed and in shock. Every single bit of detail she was describing was accurate, right down to the last date, origin, and description of who or what events were taking place during that time. In addition to this, he was also calculating the marketing price they just sold it for compared to the actual price Derpy was debating right now. And for the most part, he found himself devastated by the latest result. By the time Derpy had finished explaining, she found herself out of breath. Not once in her life had she ever had to explain something to so many ponies in life like this!...Come to think of it, she doesn't even remember the last time she explained anything to any pony. Not once had another pony come to her for guidance or questioning, mostly because everypony wanted an answer, not some description for a muffin recipe, which was usually the only question she got asked these days. Either those, or just questions about how her daughter was doing and all. Not that she minded of course, it's just that no one's ever really asked her a question about somethnig specific, esspecially not so many ponies all at once! After another few seconds of silence, the fancy-dressed pony's monocle popped off as his face as it fell towards the ground, luckily dangling from the string it was attached to from the pony's coat. "Huff..." Derpy sighed before smiling nervously again. "A-Any questions?" She asked with another uneasy smile. All the ponies continued to remain silent in the room before looking back to the Auctioneer's assistant. "Well?" One of the other rich pony's questioned. "Is it really worth 2,000 bits?" Another asked. Everypony paid attention to the now profusely sweating pony as he gulped, looking over the last of the numbers he calculated into the paper. "A-A-Ac-Ac-According to t-th-this...it isn't worth 2,000 bits." The Assistant stated. Everypony except Derpy moaned disappointedly at the result, finding it more and more exciting at the thought of Derpy actually being right. As for Derpy herself, she was just torn up completely in one instant. After all she had experienced from the day, after every other single good thing that happened to her that day, the one thing she was looking forward to out of all of this, was being right just for once. She drooped her head shamefully as she frowned, which the fancy pony noticed almost instantly. Right before he could ask her if something was wrong, the Assistant continued. "I-It's worth 2,500 Bits!" He blurted out, letting out a womanly-sigh as he fainted right after. Everypony let out another startled gasp before congratulating both Derpy, and the "fancy-pony", who also congratulated her with a warm smile. For once in her life, Derpy actually felt a sense of pride for herself. Never in her life did she have so many ponies cheering for her. Not even when she did things herself. One prime example of her life was the Season's Game for hoofball in Cloudsdale back when she was still in school. Her team only needed another three-point-score to win, and from the mere look of things with only fifteen-seconds on the clock, nopony figured the team could make it in time. Yet, despite the odds, and a team mate accidentally throwing the ball to Derpy due to a mix of nervousness and not paying attention, Derpy miraculously and luckily managed to steer clear of everypony on the team and scored the winnning touchdown! And there was cheering! Problem was, the cheering wasn't directly for her. She looked around as everypony from the stands flew down to the field to congratulate everypony else, smiling at first as she thought they were rushing over to cheer for her. But to her surprise and disappointment, everypony else was cheering for the rest of the ponies on the team. It's like they didn't even notice her making the team goal. Her parents would've came over, but unfortunately on that day, they were stuck with weather detail and couldn't make it. It bummed her out that it had to be just that one game they had to miss, but she was even more bummed out at the fact everypony else was getting praised while she was ignored. If it wasn't for the fact the coach at least took the time to congratulate her, she might've flown home in tears. Derpy snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed the ponies continuing to praise her, realizing she was momentarily lost in her memories. She finally had something she could be proud of, aside from her daughters of course, that she did herself. And, only to make it more memorable, she had witnesses. "I say, bravo Susan!" The fancy-pony congratulated again. "I've never met anypony capable of making such a remarkable and astute observation." He added. Derpy couldn't help but look away a bit embarassed. "T-Thanks...It was nothing, really!" She commented, practically ready to blush. The pony only shook his head at this. "Hardly!" He replied. "Susan, you must simply attend the next Galleria with us." He suggested. "What's that?" Derpy asked curiously. "Just a weekly thing we do to gather round and talk about fascinating works of art. But I'd love to hear more of your critiques of the wonderous displays next time." He answered. "Well-" "Hey!" Another pony suddenly shouted, catching everypony's attention. She had a brick-red colored mane and tail, and was supporting a snow white-colored coating all over. Both these colors really helped bring out the light blue coloring in her eyes. The one factor about her that made Derpy paralyze with fear though was the fact she was one, a pegasus much like herself, and two, she had a pure grey cloud as her cutiemark. Derpy instantly gulped as the facts came together. The fancy pony next to her raised his brow curiously. "Ah yes, can I help you?" He asked. "Perhaps. For one thing, why is some Pegasus going around using my name and pretending to be me?!" She stammered, earning a gasp from the audience again. All eyes looked back towards Derpy as she began sweating nervously. "And the second thing, WHO in the right mind let DERPY INTO THE MUSEUM?!" She yelped, getting more audible and shocked gasps from everypony else. Well, her fun was over. She knew how to get a crowd going from time to time, and knew at least how to socialize in past scenarios, even if she didn't understand anything. But every single time, the one thing that kept bulldozing her fun and social activities with others was everypony else finding out her name was Derpy. It was like Lord Voldehoof from Maney Potter novels; he who must not be named less thee bring misfortune. Only in this case, it was she. And after being put on spot in front of some of the richest ponies in Canterlot, it was just a matter of time before bad rumors and gossip spread from there as well. At least, that's what she assumed before the fancy-pony walked up to her again. "So, Derpy, is your name?" He asked. Derpy sighed regrettably as she nodded. "Uh huh." She replied. To her surprise though as she looked back, the fancy pony was smiling at her before turning his attention to the rest of the room. "Everypony, a toast!" He decreed, using his magic to raise another glass of punch. "To Derpy, and her magnificent monique!" He decreed, reminding everypony of the valuable painting Derpy discovered. "Here here!" They all cheered, raising their own glasses as well. Derpy couldn't help but tear up at this. She finally had a room full of friends...minus the only pony who was still confused. "Am I missing something here?" Susan Cloud asked alloud...