Alone Under The Tree

Here I am again, dressed in you hoodie, standing under the tree where I confessed to you. It’s quiet here, no crickets or other night-time bugs tonight. The only sound I hear is the cold night’s breeze as it flows through the leaves of the tree.

To be honest. I hate this silence; it just reminds me about the fact that you are not here anymore. That’s just one thing that reminds me of you, but then again I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget you, to forget the time we spent together, to forget your smile and laugh, to forget your tender touch… to forget the taste of your lips… to… to…

Oh sorry… heh almost cried again.

Do you remember the day I confessed my love to you? It was right here, you had just finished the sandwiches I had made for you. Two slices of wheat bread, a thin layer of mayo, three slices of tomato, a slice of cheese and some fresh salad. They were so plain and boring, but you ate them happily. It’s funny, as you ate them I remembered the time when you told me that you where an omnivore, the thought of you eating meat didn’t scare me, but I can’t speak for the rest of Ponyville hee hee.

After you swallowed the last bite you turned to me, I felt frozen in place. You lifted you hand up and gently stroked my mane as you thanked and praised me for the sandwiches. It made me feel so warm inside and in that second I jumped you, I didn’t think I just closed my eyes and jumped at you.

You were so surprised by that. You asked “What are you doing Lyra?” the tone of your voice was angered, but still very soft.

Do you remember how I shouted my confession at you? “I love you! I love you with all my heart and I have ever since you came to Ponyville! Please- please be my man-friend!” it’s so embarrassing to think about now, but I’m so happy I did it.

I closed my eyes harder as I waited for your reply. I feared that you would say “I’m not into ponies” or “I’m sorry Lyra but I only see you as a friend” or something third that would hurt equally as much.

You didn’t answer and the only sounds that came from you were long, shaky breaths, I unwillingly opened my eyes and looked down at you. Tears were in your eyes, they sparkled like gems in the light of the high noon sun.

Hee hee, I thought that you were crying because you got scared of my sudden outburst and just as I opened my mouth to apologize you hugged me tight, my legs gave out the instant your arms made their way around my neck and I fell onto of you.

You whispered “I love you too” into my ears trough a sob, I loved that so much. Then it was I who cried, remember how I buried my face in you neck and just cried.

Heh… so embarrassing

We laid there for hours; I still remember how strong your heartbeat was, it made me feel so safe. It made me feel as though you could protect me from anything.

We were completely inseparable after that day, remember how so many doubted us, how they all said that it just wouldn’t work between a human and a pony. They couldn’t have been more wrong. You spoiled me every day by making me breakfast, buying me presents and showering me with kisses.

Heh… your kisses were always so eager, then again you always said that you couldn’t get enough of me, just like I couldn’t get enough of you.

I miss you so much…

The days just pass by now, I don’t feel that there is anything to do now that you’re gone. I moved back in with Bon Bon, I don’t know what I would have done without her. She still tries to cheer me up by taking me fairs, rodeos and parties, but nothing really works. I do enjoy going with her and I do have fun, but… it’s just not the same without you.

It’s so unfair… why did we only get such little time? We never got to do all the things we talked about, like how we would see who could drink the most cider at the annual Ciderfest or how we would go see a Wonderbolt race.

But I’m happy that we did go to Fillydelpia and just locked ourselves in that hotel room… that’s also a thing I miss, that dirty mind of yours… even though you were more the romantic than the pervert. Your touches where always gently and loving, you were always so gentle with me, it was only your kisses that were aggressive and oh how I loved that. To be held lovingly in your arms as your lips and tongue violated me.

I would always become lost in the feeling and you would always tease me with it.

“Such an eager little filly you are” you would whisper as I tried to connect my lips to yours once again.

The last day we spent there in the hotel was the best day in my life.

You woke me with a soft kiss on my forehead, just under the base of my horn. I wasn’t even close to being fully awake when you asked that special question.

Do you remember what you said?

“Lyra… you know that a dragon and a pony can make a foal right?...” then you paused, only for a second, but it felt like an eternity. “Do you think that a human and a pony could as well?”

I had no idea of what to say, it was so unexpected, so sudden, but you could not have said anything else that would have made me more happy then It did in that moment.

I didn’t answer you I just jumped you like the time I confessed to you. I cried aloud as I kissed you only breaking the kisses with sobs.

I didn’t doubt that you loved me, but the sheer thought of you wanting to have a foal with me was like the… like the… I can’t even find a word for it, no word can describe how I felt, describe how much I loved you.

We made love nearly every night after we got home from our vacation. We both wanted a foal so bad, but no matter how often we did it I just couldn’t get pregnant. It made you so sad, I would tell you not to be sad and you would react by pulling me into a tender hug and whisper “as long as I am together with you, then I’ll never truly be sad”

You had a way with word, you know that? Of course you do.

You talked Twilight into helping you find some magical way to make me pregnant, I was pretty angry with you about that when you told me that you had visited her without me, but you did shower me with apologetic kisses so of course I forgave you, I would have even if you hadn’t.

Four months and still nothing happened. You were so sad about not being able to give me a foal. Twilight was also very sad about not being able to help us and of course I was sad as well. Then one night as we were going to bed, you pulled me close and Said “I’m sorry my little Lyra” that was the only thing you said before you began to cry.

I felt so sorry for you, you had always been so strong, and right then and there you were so fragile. I hugged you tight and whispered to you as you sobbed. Do you remember what I said?

“Don’t cry. I still love you with all my heart and even thought we can’t have a foal together-” I then placed my hooves on you cheeks and look deep into your tear filled eyes “I will always love you and I will always be there for you”

Hee hee, You buried you head in my mane and cried even more. You keep repeating the sentence “I love you so much!” again and again.

That night we made love to each other just like we did back at the hotel.

Pure, passionate and tender love. Such a wonderful night that was… but then came the morning.

I awoke before you and I could feel it in the air that something was wrong, very wrong. I turned to look at you. You looked so peaceful, so cute, but something wasn’t right.

I tapped your chin with my hoof.

You didn’t react.

I rubbed my hoof on your chest.

You didn’t react.

I nudged you harder, a little franticly.

You didn’t react.

I then began to hit you and scream at you…

You didn’t react…

I don’t remember much about the following minutes. I probably bolted out into the street and screamed for help at the top of my lungs or grabbed the nearest pony and begged for help.

Then before I knew it we were at the hospital. You were lying in a bed that was just big enough for you. The doctors had tended to you for hours before they let me see you. I remember the look on nurse Redheart’s face so clearly. She led me into the room where you were. You looked so peaceful, just like you had earlier that morning.

Nurse Redheart let me be alone with you. I begged Celestia a thousand times for you to awake, but you never did. If only I could have said goodbye to you then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

Who would have guessed it?

Who would have guessed that the thing all of Equestria is bathed in would be your death?

If you were here right now you would probably tilt you head and say “Sunlight” with a goofy smile.

Hee hee.

No. Magic. The thing that I can manipulate trough my horn. The thing that makes unicorns what they are. The thing that makes ponies lives so much more simple. Magic.

Fuck magic…

Fuck this fucking world! Fuck Celestia! Fuck Luna! Fuck Mother Faust! And Fuck all this fucking magic!

Sorry…

You always told me that that was a bad word to use and that I should never use it unless I was really angry.

I feel a little better now. Talking to you always makes me feel a little better.

Oh! Well would you look at that. The sun is rising; I guess this is the closes we can get to a night together huh. Hee hee. I better be going back now. Bon Bon said she would tend to the little one if he would wake up. He’s growing up to be a strong earth pony. But I’m guessing that I already told you that didn’t I?

Well then… I’ll be going… Visit me in my dreams okay.

Goodbye… my love.