To be free?
So, so, cold... every day it isn't any different, the same freeze flowing through my body, or at least what could be called my body. I long to be free of this prison that entraps me in stone, but what reason would I ever be freed? There is always a reason to put somepony in stone, and it is never an easy matter. But only have few ponies over time been trapped in stone, and even fewer have ever been released to tell their tale. I want out. Not do I just want out, I feel a need to come out and bring my shine among the world once more. Sometimes, I just don't even know what is real, and just another figment of my imagination. Seeing them there, sitting in the grass... all grown up.
Where was I when they were just young fillies, and they needed me? I was here, trapped in my eternal prison, talking to myself and trying to hold what I could of my memories dear to my heart. Watching that same memory, as if it was projected out in front of me is one of the most beautiful things that anypony could ever see, but it breaks my heart each and every time. The grass beneath their feet, tackling and tumbling over each other and playfully pulling each others hair. They play throughout the day in the park, ponies slowly leaving as the night falls over all of Equestria. They call for me, and they call for me, running through the park searching everywhere to find me. Call as they will, I never show, as the tears stream down their cheeks. Seeing them so happy, playing together is one of the greatest memories that I have, but it nearly breaks me every time I see them cry. Every single time, I wish to end it. No matter how much I want to end it, my prison holds me tight as it plays over again, depression heavy in it's way.
I don't know, or even remember what it was that I did to deserve to be here, or if it is even me trapped here. There is something about me, and I can't exactly place my hoof on it, but I don't feel the same as I once did. It's almost as if it is a binding magic holding me here, rather than it actually being me held in this stone entrapment. What leads me to believe something so outrageous, and even stranger than fiction, is that I hear a separate voice inside of me. It is always there, mocking me. Condescending my attempts to escape, and even remember my memories of a past time.
You fool...
It calls constantly and without end, but I have learned to ignore it for the most part. With all the years trapped in stone, I have learned to keep it out of my mind after the number of years it had taken me over. Even having a free mind isn't as much of a freedom as it might seem, thoughts wander and worries of the outside world plague what sanity you may have left over hundreds of years, escpecially when you left two fillies, fending for their own... in a dark, downtown park. Hopefully, there was somepony there to take them in, and care for them while I was away. At least I can hope for such a thing, where they live out their lives happily. Sometimes, I wish I just had another few hours to give them a proper goodbye. There are often times when there is an image of them, grown old in front of me. It feels so real, hearing their matured voices and the stories they tell me...
It was so many years ago that I left, how could they still be alive to tell me tales? Even in stone, time passes slowly, but years pass as they always had with the seasons. It had to be at a minimum of at least twelve-hundred years since I have been put here, but some of the 'memories' I have feel as if they had come just yesterday, or even the day before. And as these new memories start to fill my mind, I lose all of the ones I had held dear to my heart, memories of a past time and past life far gone.
... there is no escape...
Even the memories I think that I have lost, they come back in pieces from time to time, giving me a glimpse into the life I once lived. They taunt me of my own two fillies and the pleasant times that we once had, playing in the fields and swimming in the streams. It even comes to hold memories against me, of the things I don't even have the faintest recollection of. Never once in my life would I ever do something that could make anypony hate me enough to bring them to arms. Why me, of all the ponies in the world, am I being punished for acts I did not commit?
Even with the memories that come to taunt me, never once do they mention my name. It's almost as if somepony is checking my memories, and filtering through my name, as if they don't want me to recall who I am. If I am that bad of a pony to where I shouldn't even be able to remember my name, wouldn’t it be much safer for all of the citizens of Equestria to just banish me to the far out lands, or is there a reason I am being kept as a statue? Some of the things in this world don't make much sense to me anymore, and I even begin to wonder about my sanity. It almost looks like I am swimming in my own pool of self pit, bringing myself from the true reality of my situation. Even if that was the truth behind my imprisonment, I should at least have a faded memory of time where I was a truly bad pony. Sorting through what memories I have is all I can do through the lonely days, but I can also sleep, for weeks, or even months on end. Even then, all I do is grieve over what I have lost due to my time in stone.
Confusion... Evil... Chaos...
I often wish to know my name, but maybe it is all for the better that I don't know what it is. Somepony had to have made it to where I couldn't even hear my own name, so there has to be some reason for it all. One of the many things I ponder on is the jealousy and greed I once held. I was once a terribly greedy and jealous pony when it came to my family, and just seeing them around other ponies seemed to set off a cord. I never wanted another pony to take them from me, and I thought that I was always just protecting them from the outside world, when all that they needed was reality to harden them. I did it for the better of the family, for other ponies. Even though I hated seeing them around other ponies, I was eventually able to control myself. Seeing those little fillies however, no matter what they were doing brightened my day. I even come to wonder if that park was what made me who I am today. Whatever it is that I am, and is what actually trapped me.
I wish for them, each and every day. I wish to see them, I long to be with them once again. I don't care what it takes to get back to my little fillies, it needs to be done. Anypony who was ever a parent knows this better than anything. There are no words to explain the amount of grieving I have felt, watching as my little ponies slowly grew older, as I stood encapsulated in this stone prison, this cold, cold, prison.
...Fool... let the love flow...
A shot of warmth shoots through my flank as the touch of two separate hooves glide over my back, the warmth trailing them. Warmth wasn't something I had the luxury of having in decades, and that was something that had become long overdue. There was something different about the way it felt, and the way it touched me. There was just something else there, other than that of somepony actually caring.
“We know it has been a long time, Daddy. But we have been extremely busy...” a mare started, her voice resonating with pure and untapped beauty.
I tried to speak to them, but my mouth stood frozen just as it ever had. I wanted to talk, and even without seeing who they were, I knew they were my two fillies. They slowly came into my view, one the purest white, while the other was the deepest black; practically blending with the night sky. Their manes flowed in the non-existent wind, and it was truly a site to see for somepony who hadn't seen any of their family in centuries.
“It may be hard in there, we know... and believe me, we are trying. It is harder than you think trying to separate you two, but always remember this daddy,” Both of the ponies cried in unison, their shimmering crowns pointed at me, “We will always love you, no matter what you are.”
I could feel the stone slightly cracking around me, and I could feel the breeze once again. It was only a matter of time before I would be out and roaming the world once more. But this time, I would not mess up. This time, I would be the pony who would make all the right decisions, instead of all the wrong ones.
You foolish ponies...
And hopefully, I wouldn't have to listen to the voices in my head anymore. But one thing had struck my mind, they had told me we weren't easily separable... but who exactly does that make the other?
“We love you, Daddy Discord. We love you.”
Just you wait, little ponies. Your Daddy won't soon be here...