Rainbombs, Rainbombs Everywhere
Rainbow Dash Finds A Lakitu Cloud
By Grisaille
"RAINBOW DASH, WHEN I GET A HOLD OF YOU AND THAT GOSH-DARNED CLOUD, I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA BE WEARING A MANURE-EATING GRIN ON HER FACE!”
“What's the matter, AJ?! Did it rain on your parade today?!”
This was how one would find Applejack and Rainbow Dash, with the former chasing the airborne and cackling latter with a lasso in her mouth and an angry expression on her face. This was with good reason. The Earth pony was soaked to the bone, courtesy of cold water that had been dumped on her head. The source was a cloud – something that Rainbow Dash, oddly, was using as a sort of escape vehicle. Naturally, it brought about the question of how she was doing it and why she would even bother doing so when she had a set of perfectly working wings on her back. Using them certainly would've provided a quicker escape and kept her from being roped up by her prank quarry.
One reason for this was because it would have been too easy an escape.
Another was because she really didn't want to get out of the cloud she was riding in.
Why? From first glance, it appeared to be nothing more than an ordinary cloud. Ordinary clouds, at least in terms of Equestrian nature, could produce rain and lightning when bounced on like a trampoline. They could be treated as buckets in order to dump water on the likes of wildfire, natural and artificial containers for the liquid, and unsuspecting targets such as ponies. But despite their movability, ordinary could not be used for mobile transport. Ordinary clouds could not move at the speeds in which Rainbow's cloud could without spreading apart against the wind resistance.
And they most certainly could not form with a face.
Yes, this cloud had a face. To be specific, it had a face consisting of black, beady eyes, an innocent smile and even a sticker blush on what was presumed to be its cheeks. The only change in expression, even in the midst of the chase, was the occasional blinks of the eyes. It seemed rather oblivious to the crowing Pegasus on its head, the rage of the farmer racing after it, or the lasso that was threateningly trailing behind her. Maybe it was ignorant and naive. Maybe it was putting on a happy face to mask its annoyance and anger at the bickering of the two rivals. Maybe it was plotting world domination.
And maybe, just maybe, I need to stop talking about the maybes. Instead, I shall take you all back to how Rainbow Dash met the strange creature resembling a cloud, acquired it, and what she did with it afterward.
...no naughty stuff, I promise.
~Grisaille~
It was noon, and Rainbow Dash was in a rather crappy mood.
She did not bother to hide the look of agitation on her face as she hovered around a particularly cloudy section of the sunny sky. Sometimes, she would stop and land on the clouds just to stomp on them in a show of anxiousness and irritation. Sometimes, she would expand her wings and fly around the cloud path in an aggressive circle. But mostly, all she did was hover aimlessly and without direction. Her indignation simply refused to let her sit still for more than a few seconds.
Why was she so angry?
A few hours ago, she had been performing tasks with a group of weather pegasi in order to clear the skies of cloud clusters. Her squad was only one part of a super-group formed due to the cloud clusters being so massive. It wasn't anything new by now; remnants of a storm were always managed by a massive number of pegasi in order to keep the efficiency level high. Another reason for such a massive work force was to increase the speed of which the clouds were cleared. After all, there were ponies down below that desired a completely sunny day, and they would want it as soon as possible. The pegasi had to make ends meet.
In the most recent of her work, Rainbow Dash would find herself working with Derpy Hooves as a personal partner. Because Derpy wasn't exactly the most coordinated of individuals, Rainbow was understandably reluctant to allow the mail-mare to assist. There was even personal experience to reinforce that tension; during the last time the two had been partnered up, Derpy had ended up wrecking the majority of the town hall by just attempting to set up a simple banner. If there was a job in Equestria for a wrecking ball, Derpy's flank alone would've had all the requirements needed to qualify. Although Derpy herself had apologized profusely for that and insisted that she would do better next time, it did nothing to relieve Rainbow's nervousness around her while they were working.
Thankfully, those fears did not come to existence.
Others would.
While Rainbow Dash was racing around to dissipate a cloud she was holding via the air friction, Derpy was stomping on particular clouds that still had fragments of lightning and thunder within them so the other pegasus could clear them away without any consequence of getting struck. In the midst of her own business, she failed to notice that she was trying to zoom under the cloud Derpy was stomping on. With timing that couldn't have been any worse, she and the lightning bolt that escaped from the cloud had collided. The shock had been enough to paralyze her and render her unable to keep her position above the ground. If not for Derpy's once-in-a-lifetime quick thinking, Rainbow would have certainly met a terrible end.
It was how she was saved that caused her bitterness to stir up.
To save her, Derpy had reached out with her forelegs and caught the paralyzed mare. Because of the bang of thunder prior to the start of the near-death experience, the attention of all of the supergroup was on the two. But when they saw one partner carrying another bridal-style, their alarm turned to amusement. It was Flitter and Cloudchaser that had started up what would've been a storm of cat-calls, teasing and laughter. All of it was meant to be in good fun, and Derpy seemed to laugh with them despite her own embarrassment. But because of her rather helpless position, Rainbow was the only one who did not take part in the positivity of these jests. As far as she was concerned, she had been humiliated and insulted in the face of everyone there.
After the paralysis wore off and she was properly checked out, she had found the cloud patch she was now readily taking her anger out on. Any pegasus that attempted to come near her was hit with a death glare and intelligently retreated from the area. Because the sky was ninety-eight percent clear at the time, her boss decided to let it be and leave her alone. So in the end, she was left alone with nothing but shattered pride and a floor of fluffiness to take it out on.
Or at the very least, she thought she was alone.
When one of her front hooves stomped on a certain part of the cloud, she was surprised to see it sink under her weight instead of supporting it.
“Huh...?”
Confused, she leaned her head in order to peek through the hole to see where the piece of the cloud had gone.
It smacked her head-on coming back to the surface.
She let out a yelp as fell on her hindquarters, momentarily stunned by the surprise “attack” on her person. But she was quick to recover, shaking her head violently before beginning to fix a glare on the cloud piece. “Hey! What's the big--”
What cut her off was the sight of those black and beady eyes and that clueless smile.
For the next few moments, she stared at what she assumed to be a cloud. It stared back at her, occasionally blinking once or twice. Neither of them broke their gaze away from each other, for Rainbow was still struggling to decide whether or not she was dreaming. She wasn't so quick as to say the same for the cloud, however. On the contrary, it seemed as if it was... curious of her.
Thrusting all caution aside, she decided to grace it with her voice.
“Uh... hey. What's up?”
The cloud continued to smile and stare at her. In return, she found her own smile become increasingly nervous. Was its face stuck that way or something?
“I... I'm Rainbow Dash.” Her previous anger was starting to become overshadowed by awkwardness. “Hey, sorry for stomping on you that, I was just real mad and I wasn't paying much attention. What's your name?” By this point in time, she was convinced she had gone crazy. Not only was she allowing herself to speak to a cloud, but she was selectively oblivious to the increasingly creepy grin on her face. For all she knew, this thing could have been making plans to smother her to death in her sleep... or worse.
Those thoughts were quickly absolved when the cloud, in response to her question, frowned. This gesture seemed to wash away most of the tension within her body, and her smile lost its discomfort.
“Not much of a talker, are you?”
Slowly, the cloud shook itself from side to side in a “no” gesture – the assurance Rainbow needed to strike up a conversation.
“Do you have a name?”
The cloud shook itself again.
“Hmm...” Rainbow placed a hoof to her chin in thought, regarding the cloud with her own brand of curiosity. “Well, since you don't have a name and you apparently can't tell me, I'll just have to give you a placeholder. What do you think about the name...” She paused for a brief moment, trying to conjure up a fitting name for what she presumed to be a new friend. “...Stratus?”
The cloud seemed to like this name. The smile returned to its face, and it nodded eagerly.
“Awesome!” Satisfied with herself, Rainbow Dash stood up. “I didn't hurt you too bad when I stepped on you, did I?”
Stratus shook its head and frowned once again, its beady eyes expressing curiosity. Fortunately for it, Rainbow Dash was smart enough to read expressions. The nonverbal message she received made her falter a little, wariness flashing through her eyes.
“You... you wanna know I got like this, huh?” After regarding the cloud silently for a moment, Rainbow sighed heavily and plopped herself back down on her flank. “Well, you seem like a good listener, and I doubt you'd be able to tell this to anyone else.” She looked up briefly to fix an intense stare at Stratus, who flinched back in surprise. “You won't tell this to anyone else... right?”
Stratus quickly nodded.
“Good.” Rainbow was quick to recede the glare, taking a deep breath in order to mentally prepare herself. “See, I was working with this pegasus named Derpy Hooves...”
~Grisaille~
"...and now, I can guarantee that by tomorrow, everyone that's in weather management's gonna be calling me a dyke." Rainbow finished with a sad sigh, propping her cheeks on her front hooves. “And I know it's gonna carry on to the next day, and the next day, and so on and so on. Stupid Flitter and Cloudchaser just had to go on and ruin the rest of my life...”
She was aware that her venting had carried on for quite a while and she was sure that by now, the cloud had started tuning her out. Though that thought disheartened her a little, she knew it was to be expected. After all, who would want to her someone else's whining for too long without wanting to leave or punch her in the face? If the cloud had arms, she could guarantee that its hand would've slapped her right about now. She looked up, expecting to see an expression of annoyance on Stratus's face.
But to her surprise, she saw it gazing intently at her – a clear sign that it had been listening with great attention from beginning to end. “Wait... you actually cared enough to not ignore me after the first few words?” She asked, genuinely touched. “You didn't think it was too sappy?”
It shook its head, smiling cheerily again for emphasis. Then, it floated over to her and – much to her surprise – nuzzled her in a comforting and reassuring manner. A faint blush spread across her cheeks, and slowly, a smile of her own crossed her face. She moved one of her front legs around the cloud to bring it into a hug. “You know, you really aren't that bad after all, Stratus.” She said, chuckling a little. “Thanks for listening to me. I think I'm feeling a bit better--”
A tortoise's head popped out of Stratus’s top, cutting her off and drawing her attention to it.
She recognized it immediately.
“Wait a minute... Tank?” She asked incredulously, retracting her arm and moving back in order to take in the sight of her pet's head poking out of the cloud. “Is that you? I thought you were back at Fluttershy's place!” It was common for her to drop Tank off at the residence of the yellow pegasus while she went to work, due to him being unable to walk on clouds like she could. To see the tortoise up here in the sky was strange enough. But how did Stratus get to it?
The cloud was quick to answer for the tortoise. With a gentle glide, it flew around and swept the area to demonstrate something. As Rainbow watched in slight fascination, she quickly picked up the unsaid message. Somehow, one of them convinced the other to let Tank fly around in Stratus for fun. It was a rather harmless move, so neither tortoise nor cloud had any reason to be nervous about it.
So when Stratus returned back to their original spot, both of them were surprised when they were met with a suspicious glare.
“Oh, so that's how it is, huh Tank?” She muttered, getting right in her pet's face. “You just up and ditch me for a cloud? And for what? A free ride? I'm much faster than this guy! I'd make the best darn roller coaster in Equestria! Millions would line up to ride me! What does this floating ball of cotton fluff have that I don't, hm?!” She finished off her rant with a pout – something that Tank was quick to return with one of his own.
After a few seconds of staring at Tank, Rainbow decided to break the silence and sate a growing curiosity.
“Move over!” She huffed, moving behind Stratus and rearing on her hind legs. “I'm getting in!”
She grasped the sides of the cloud to support herself, bent her hind legs inward, and pushed them into the cotton-like material. She paid no heed to Stratus's reaction or the possible discomfort she could've caused it. But the only response to the intrusion was a somewhat displeased frown, as if it had been through something like this before. Of course, its origins were unknown to them, so that was a very distinct possibility.
None of this crossed Rainbow Dash's mind, though.
Like a worm in the dirt, she had to wriggle her legs in to get situated and comfortable. It only took a few seconds before she buried her lower half in the body of the cloud, her upper half sticking out. It was like sitting in a chair – a chair made entirely out of cotton, but a chair nonetheless. Already, she found herself getting pretty comfy in her spot. The feeling made her frown, as she could guess that may have been the advantage a cloud had over her.
“Okay...” She muttered to a smug-looking Tank. “You may have a point there--”
Something sharp poked one of her hind legs.
“Ow!” She let out a yelp, and her eyes swiftly turned to the spot where she would have saw what was responsible for the prodding. Considering that Tank was on the opposite side of her, it obviously wasn't him that did it. “What in the hay?!” Reflexively, she pushed a hoof through the cloud's top in order to find it. She rummaged around until she could feel the sharp tips of the strange object, moved her hoof around until she found a safe spot to place it on, and lifted it out for her eyes to see.
It was a ball – a red ball covered in spikes, akin to one that would have been attached to the staff of a mace.
“Gah!” Panicking at the sight of what was apparently a deadly weapon, Rainbow Dash hurriedly tossed the thing away from her person. She watched in fearful fascination as it descended, wondering why exactly such a thing would be hidden. Was Stratus actually some sort of weapons storage? Was it a tool used for an evil force that planned to overthrow Ponyville? Was it--
Her thoughts were abruptly cut off when she saw the spiked ball hit the ground... and start to move away.
“Huh...?” She stared blankly as she watched it move. Upon closer inspection, she could see that the ball had shifted into a half-sphere, gaining a white outline on its bottom. She could see feet sticking out, carrying it towards whatever its destination was. After regarding it for a few seconds, it began to click to her that maybe, just maybe, the object she had tossed down wasn't some weapon.
“Is that... a turtle?”
Then she felt another sharp poke.
“OW!” Once again, her eyes glared downwards, and she reached inward to pull out yet another spike-shelled turtle. “How many of these things are in here?!” She tossed it out, reached back in and pulled out another. Much to her disbelief, she found herself repeating this process seven more times. Within seconds, there were ten of the creatures wandering around the area below her and exploring their new environment. Even as she stared at them all, she could still feel the irritating pokes at her hind legs that indicated more of them residing within her cloud.
This cloud has to be Pinkie Pie's or something! There's no way I couldn't have noticed all of those things in here!
“Ooooh~!”
Speak of Discord.
Rainbow Dash looked in the direction from where Pinkie Pie's voice came from. The perky mare was looking over one of the spiny turtles curiously as it stopped in front of her. Gummy, her pet alligator, had released his grip on her ear in order to land on the ground for closer inspection of it. They didn't seem very deterred by the large spikes on its shell, and it didn't seem too intimidated by the sight of two animals outside of its kind. This, along with the presence of the other spiny turtles in the area, actually seemed a bit...
Funny.
All of a sudden, inspiration struck Rainbow Dash. A slow grin came across her face. Although Stratus had helped out relieve most of her bitterness, there was still a bit of it left. This called for the intervention of some good, harmless fun in the form of what was to be her favorite past-times. She looked down at her cloud friend and her pet, her eyes gleaming with mischief.
“All right, you guys. You think you can help out with a few pranks I have in mind...?”