A Terran Ghost finds himself in Equestria. Havoc and Comedy ensues.
A Ghost. A weapon. A tool. That's all he's ever known himself to be.
One day he's sent on a mission, a mission to assassinate a high priority target. When he fails that mission, and gets abruptly sent to a certain planet, how will he cope with being taken from the battlefield, and put into a world full of colorful horses that talk? ... And will he have access to a Tactical Nuke?
Only time will tell in this tale of adventure and comedy!
This was all the Ghost allowed himself to think as he stared over the boulder he was crouched behind. Past the boulder, across a field and beyond a canyon lay a sickly lavender mass of flesh that threatened to pour over the cliff. The mass that pooled over the soil seemed to ooze a fog that lingered just above the surface, and had a pungent smell of dead creatures and fungi that the Ghost would be able to smell from where he was were it not for his mask. But even still, he knew what Zerg creep smelled like. He remembered it from when he narrowly escaped Tarsonis while it was being overrun by the Zerg. And here they were, once more, on the planet of Mar Sara.
This is not what he wanted. This is not what he planned for. He knew what the creep meant, he knew all too well. And from where he stood he could see it travel over a large hill with cliffs on either side, making whatever lay beyond hidden by the landscape. But he was no fool, he just hated the look of that color.
It was really the only emotion he felt, really. The Ghost Conditioning - as it did for most Ghosts in training - left him mostly emotionless. He felt little, regardless of what it was he did. He knew what his job was; The Dominion's personal tool of death to be used how they see fit. He knew his mission as well, to assassinate Raynor before he got off the planet. He was prepared to infiltrate his camp. He was prepared to do the deed, and then follow up with a hasty escape. He was prepared to set down his life in an effort to eliminate the target designated by his superiors.
But nothing had prepared him for the Zerg.
The only emotions he felt when he actually felt anything was either hate, anger, or the feeling of satisfaction he got when either his target, or the subject of his rage was put down before him. Satisfaction. That was the feeling he enjoyed the most. After all the fighting, after all the tactical maneuvers and dedication to the mission, the thing that pleased him the most was at the end of the day, he could go back to his base knowing he completed the job. He was satisfied. His superiors were satisfied. But The Dominion... The Dominion was never satisfied. After all he would do, they would tell his superiors to make him go out and kill more. Not that it bothered him, really, but that it took away his feeling of satisfaction. How could he be satisfied if he knew more was to be expected of him?
So here he is, looking at the disgust change to the landscape that he knew would mean intense complications for him and his mission. He sighed inwardly, taking a moment to collect himself before continuing on his way to the outpost of Raynor’s Raiders. He ducked down low behind rocks and small embankments to keep himself concealed, and used his cloaking when necessary. He wasn’t any unusual Ghost, in all actuality. Yes, each Ghost was slightly different from another in their own little way, but the vast majority of them were very similar to one another. The only exceptions to this were the rogues, and the very skilled of his kind who were actually able to keep their names.
Names. To have a name was to be seen as an individual, a working piece separate from all others in their own way. But the Ghost here was not one of those things. He was part of the Dominion, just an appendage to act in a manner of their choosing. He didn’t have a name, only a code by which he knew assimilated himself into the Dominion’s archive. Q6793O. That was his name, as far as he was concerned. That, or simply Ghost.
So there he was, traveling to his destination which was still several clicks (1 ‘click’ is 1 Kilometer) away. He looked over the horizon, seeing multiple mutalisks fly up into view, heading towards something in the direction he was going. He expected the to simply be on their way to attack the Raider’s outpost, and in truth, he was right. But what he didn’t expect was to see a giant cruiser drop down from orbit, the fires of re-entry still licking at its hull as it began to unleash a devastating flurry of ordinance on whatever was around it. A few blasts of superheated plasma hit some of the mutalisks as they began to swarm the craft, but most were pointed towards the ground, along with a single ray of pure energy from the front of the craft.
A Battlecruiser, the Ghost sighed out loud at the thought, no longer caring for stealth as he watched the battle in the air. Wonderful. And I bet Raynor is on his way inside the thing right now. Sure enough, he could see a single mass of dropships, along with several floating structures making their way up to the ship. But the worst part of it all was that his craft had already left almost half an hour ago.
It was things like this that angered him, that made him rage. There as his target, somewhere aboard that ship and probably about to fly off to safety - and to another world - while he was left behind to fend for himself against the Zerg. Not only would he fail his mission, but he would also most likely die, either by the Zerg or by the Protoss when they come to purify the planet again. He would fail, and then he would die. First he would be rendered ultimately useless while shamed by failure, and then he would be left to die. Alone. Not even as a tool, not anymore.
He couldn’t accept this. It made him angry. No, infuriated. He would have broken his C-10 Canister Rifle in half from the sheer rage building inside him were it not for the narcotic injection systems feeding him a drug to calm him down. But even still he could not help but feel intense negative emotions course through him. The only difference now was that his thoughts were more... calculated.
The drugs, while making him less angry, meant he was more calm... more calculated. He looked around, searching for something which he knew might just be present around the nearly barren world. It was a long shot, but he remembered a certain Top Secret species that liked to come to this world specifically, mainly due to how much it resembled their home. He looked behind him, nothing over the hills or around the shrubs of the desert there. He looked to his sides, seeing nothing on either path of the trail. He looked forward once more, over the canyon, seeing the creep still present, though with more Mutalisks flying out of their hive that he knew was just over the hill in the distance.
The Ghost noticed then that the Battlecruiser was starting to pull away, its cargo already loaded inside. He cursed his luck, knowing time was short on his end. He looked around more, trying to figure out where he hasn’t looked... until he realized the one place he overlooked. Past the field was a canyon... it as a longshot, but he had to try. He dashed out of cover, moving as fast as he could towards the canyon. He slung his rifle on his back, knowing he would have to use his hands for what he was about to do. As he was only a few steps away, he noticed a group of ten zerglings rushin over the hill on the opposite side of the canyon string straight at him. They screeched, they slobbered, they all gave their own battle cries as they hungered for the Ghost’s flesh. Bastards, he swore to himself. You won’t stop me!
He knew what he had to do. And though he could feel his trigger finger twitch and his hands grip around a rifle that was not present, he knew he needed both hands free. It was imperative, for if he did not have full control, he would die. And so, after those last few steps, he jumped.
And there it was.
Down in the deepest part of the canyon was what he was searching for, what he had prayed to exist. He could recognize it anywhere; its lime green, rectangular body with a white top. The door on one side with air vents on the other three. The way it seemed to stick out from everything else in the landscape.
A porta-potty.
But not just any porta-potty, a Tauren porta-potty. And it was there, all for him. All he had to do, was get to it.
And thus his freefall began, his body shifting in the air so that his head was pointed straight down, his arms stuck to his sides to make him move like a giant, speeding bullet. As he fell further the sides began approaching him, and it was then that he reached out his arms. In all he only fell for a couple seconds, and every move the ghost had to make was incredibly quick and precise. His hands hit the very steep side of the canyon, instantly curling up and allowing his body to tumble over against it. His body rolled, curled into a tight ball while his hands grabbed onto his shins to keep his form.
Another few seconds passed, and then he was launched into the air. He caught a glimpse of the canyon side, noticing that the slope abruptly ended and turned into a straight drop. He also caught sight of the ground, it was very close, only about 30 meters away. In the next moment his arms let go and reached out as his body flung open like a frog in mid-leap. He was belly-down, looking straight at a rocky stalagmite sticking up in the middle of the canyon.
Fortunately for him, his launch had led him straight towards the very top of the rock formation. He cupped his hands and grabbed around the peak of the stalagmite, swinging his body around the side. His hands slid against the rock in the next instant, allowing his body to rapidly reduce in speed at a smooth, controlled rate while swirling around the body of the rock. His arms were soon holding around it, applying enough pressure to keep himself attached to the rock while still sliding down further. Finally, after another look down to the ground, he noticed he was only a few meters away. He kicked his feet off the side of the stalagmite, allowing him to fall the rest of the way to the bottom of the canyon, landing on his feet.
But he wasn’t alone. The zerglings were far more nimble as him, and though they didn’t perform a leap of faith like he did, they were already almost to the base of the canyon simply by leaping down and using their beastly appendages to slow their descent enough to provide control against the incredibly steep slopes. And already three of them were just about to the bottom, right where he was.
The Ghost backed up, pulling his C-10 Canister Rifle off of his back and taking aim. The porta-potty was almost right beside him, he could see it from the corner of his eye. But still, he didn’t want to take chance of the zerglings damaging it while he was inside. Using his psionic abilities to grant him precision aim, even against the fast-moving zerglings, he popped off three shots. Each shot went into one of the eye sockets of the three lead zerglings, penetrating into their brains and killing them instantaneously. Their bodies slumped dead and fell the rest of the way down the canyon, landing harshly against the floor near his feet.
He used his scope to look up at the remaining lings, noticing them only halfway down the canyon, taking their time to be more careful. Perfect. The Ghost turned around, opening the door of the porta-potty and entering quickly. At first glance, it looked like a perfectly normal out-house. And for a moment, the Ghost doubted his decision. However, jutting out from the side near the toilet opening was a lever. A small, almost invisible lever that looked like it would belong to a normal toilet.
And then it occurred to him. A lever to flush a toilet would never be found inside a porta-potty, unless...
He put his finger to the lever and immediately pushed down, and then the small, seemingly plastic structure came to life. the whole thing shook violently as thrusters popped out from its underside. There was an intense rattling, the Ghost assuming it was the thrusters powering up while a control panel and viewing screen popped out of the toilet and come up to his face. The toilet seat split in half and shifted around, swinging behind him and forming into a more suitable seat. The screen flickered to life, showing the view of in front of him as the white panel above turned transparent, allowing him to view what was directly above. And finally, the control panel itself lit up, all the buttons and controls becoming illuminated just before the boosters fired up.
Outside the remaining zerglings reached the bottom, and instantly sprang towards the little structure to attack. They saw the Ghost enter it, they knew he was inside. That was all the incentive they needed to rip it apart to find him. Only, just as their long talons were about to rip into the porta-potty’s rapidly vibrating side, the whole thing came to meet them... in the face.
The porta-potty launched into the air in a blast of fire and exhaust smoke, smashing into the one zergling that had managed to find itself a split second away from tearing into it. The ling yelped out in surprise and pain, falling back into the canyon as the makeshift spacecraft flew into the sky.
On the interior of the toilet ship was the Ghost, his hands glued to the one control stick jutting out of the control panel. As he looked up he noticed the Battlecruiser was directly above, but flying by at a rapid pace. All around were mutalisks, so many mutalisks. They were all desperately trying to attack the giant cruiser in an effort to bring it down.
A beeping noise came from the view panel in front of the ghost, and then an outlined image of the Battlecruiser popped up in red. Several more symbols and boxes of words popped up rapidly, but one line caught the Ghost’s attention out of everything else.
Hyperspace Jump Detected...
That was not good. If the Battlecruiser jumped into hyperspace before the Ghost could get to it, he would lose them forever. He looked up, spotting a gap in the ship where a piece was blown off. If I can just direct this craft into that gap, I could ride the hyperspace jump and end up wherever it goes. Sure, it was a bit of a longshot for the Ghost, but it was his only option.
He began to tilt the porta-potty’s trajectory, bringing it right up alongside the Battlecruiser. All he had to do was outrun it just a little bit to reach the gap in the armor on the midsection of the ship. It was coming closer, only a few more seconds and he would be upon it. The sounds of the battle outside filled his ears, but he drowned it all out as he got closer and closer.
The gap was right there, he knew he would make it now. Just another few seconds and he would be there, he would make it to his objective. He would follow the ship to where it was going, he would land where it would, and he would eliminate the target. He would be useful, he would be a good tool for The Dominion. He would be satisfied. And for a moment, a smile came across his face.
And then the Battlecruiser jumped, without his craft being in the gap. But still, the porta-potty was caught in the hyperspace field that surrounded the larger craft... but only just.
Off they went, away from the Zerg and to a safer sector of space. Only, the Battlecruiser took this route. The flying out-house, although it was granted a jump through hyperspace, was not tied to the Battlecruiser for very long. It veered off in the middle of the jump, taking its own course through space to somewhere unknown. It ripped its own hyperspace tunnel, traveling many millions of times faster than the speed of light to a destination unknown. It sped across the solar system, across the quadrant, across the sector, and even across the entire galaxy. And by the time it finally found an exit, only a split second after entering hyperspace, it was nowhere within the chartered sectors of space.
Inside the craft the Ghost lost consciousness from the unstable fling through time and space, and ended up laying curled up on the floor. The sudden jolt of being ripped from its usual course through hyperspace should have blown the craft into oblivion, and it would have or any other Terran craft. But the porta-potty was of Tauren engineering, a much sturdier construction that rivaled that of the Protoss. But even still the craft was damaged, its engines shutting off as soon as it re-entered regular space.
And thus, there he was. Floating unconscious through space inside of a high-tech portable latrine made by a race of intelligent cows. The systems inside were still active, but were glitching out to the point where they were no longer usable. And yet, even so, the systems were able to detect something. Past the random codes that sputtered through the system, and through all the random symbols and alert messages that popped up on the main screen, a notification found its way to the front. It was a circular image, one with a text box describing it. It was attempting to alert the pilot of something outside, a giant cosmic object that was just beginning to be illuminated on the craft’s side by the sun it orbited.
The craft was heading straight towards an unknown planet. A planet... with life.
~~~
A quote by lizard4231: "The character is essentially a highly trained special forces operative that serves the combined entity of the entire human race in a war against a horrifying alien species that utilizes evolution to hone its body and take over the universe (the zerg) and a highly technologically advanced alien species called the protoss, who's only goal is to eradicate the zerg by any means possible. The main character is called a "Ghost", and is able to flag tactical nuclear strike targets (although it must be known that the ghost does not have a nuclear device himself, he simply can request a strike from his base). Ghosts are excellent snipers, and are trained to lose literally all emotion other than a small, acceptable amount of pure hate for anything that stands in the way of the Terrans, or their ruling superpower the Dominion. There, now you have all the info you need: ruthlessly efficient, mechanically enhanced sniper/supersoldier, with extensive and grueling physical and mental training, trained to hunt and kill aliens and human rebels (Raynor and his Raiders are examples of these) alike."
The ghost felt himself coming back to consciousness, but at an achingly slow rate. His mind couldn’t make up or down, or even decipher what up and down even were yet. His eyes rolled around under their sockets, focusing on nothing at all through the darkness as they tried to re-establish active connections to the brain. A few of his muscles twitched, some joints bent just slightly, eliciting small cracks as they loosened up a bit.
His mind made further attempts to wake up, to be able to regularly process the income of information. It tried to activate its other senses again, but found most blocked from anything out of the ordinary due to the suit still being clung to the body. He smelled nothing, he felt nothing, he could taste nothing. Even his eyelids refused to open, stuck in place by the thick crust of sleep and from staying like that for so long. And yet, the ears were able to work.
He heard something, but it was all hazy still. It was as if his mind was lost in a flat, barren field covered with a dense fog, trying to find out where it was. A sound, a tone, little trinkets of information were fed to the brain by way of its ears. It tried to process the information, but found it unable due to everything still being conjumbled. The craft, a porta-potty. It would still be in that, it reasoned. Hyperdrive, a flash, and then unconsciousness.
More noises. He’s in a craft, with a console. A warning, a pending notification noise, perhaps.
No. The noise was a ding. A constant, looping ding. It stopped, then started again at intervals the mind could not understand. Was it a beep? Was it from the console?
No. It was from beyond, it echoed all around. Plastic. Like something hard hitting plastic. The craft... a porta-potty. Made out of a shell of plastic. Was something hitting it?
Yes. Something had to be. Something was interacting with the craft. Movement. It needed to move, to react. Outside forces were acting upon it, it needed to gather information.
The eyes, still unable to open. No smell still... the same smell of the suit. Taste was the same, the tongue was not lolling out of the mouth. It could not feel anything, the body was immobile.
Mobility. It needed to move, to feel its surroundings. The muscles twitched, they were responsive. The nerves still worked, and so it could send messages to them.
Arm. Raise the arm. The arm moved, just slightly. It moved again, more this time, in an unknown direction. And then the arm fell.
Falling. Up and down, its surroundings. The mind was recovering more as it probed its senses to work, and the feeling of up-and down was becoming detectable again.
Move. The arm moved, as did the other. They pressed against what the body was against, what it was laying on. It pressed down, lifting the body up. Nerves all across the body reacted, and told the brain what it was doing.
Sideways. The body was sideways, laying against something, something hard. The craft, was it still inside? Reach around, feel, try to obtain more information.
A lever, something to pull on. One arm felt it, and the hand reacted. The fingers, curling around by instinct. A grip. Get a grip on the lever, and get a grip on the situation.
Cognizant. The brain needed to become cognizant of its surroundings. The dinging sound stopped. The lever was to the side, not up, not down. Sideways, like it was. It needed to know what the lever did. It pulled, and something released. A click, it heard a click, and then the woosh of air.
Air. Outside, was it still space? It needed to know. Reasonable thought was not yet reactivated. It just needed to know, to dispel the fog, to get out of the haze.
Push. Push the body, use the other arm to push the body to the lever. The legs, have them help. They did so. The lever gave way, allowing the body to move through.
Light. It saw light, even through the mask and the closed eyes, he noticed its surroundings get brighter. It shined through the haze and into the workings of the mind, blinding it temporarily.
And then pain, burning pain. The light was too much, the mind was not ready. It wanted the light to stop. It told the muscles to stop, whatever they were doing made light, and it hurt.
Falling. He feel, he could feel it. His body slumped over something, its legs still against the hardened feel of the craft. His face and upper body hit something else, and he no longer felt the light burning as much. But there was something else.
Soft. It was something softer than the craft. It shifted when he hit it, but then it stopped as he stopped. He moved an arm, it slid against the softer surface. It crumbled against his touch and gathered around his moving arm.
Dirt. It was dirt, or at least something like it. The light. The dirt. The burning and the pain. He was alive. He knew it, and he was somewhere. He didn’t know where, but he didn’t really care. His mind was already spent, having exerted too much energy through the haze to try to gather information. It wanted to rest, to really rest. It wanted to really recover, instead of being forcefully jerked out of consciousness. His muscles relaxed. His mind relaxed. The burning faded away.
And so he slept.
-:|~|:-
Quiet. Cool. A slight breeze... these were the things Twilight Sparkle enjoyed most about the night as she sat on her balcony. The moon and stars were out, illuminating the town of Ponyville enough for her to make out the shapes of all the buildings in the quiet town. She sighed, a long pleasant sigh. There were few things she liked more than sitting outside on her balcony at night, enjoying its pleasantries while reading a good book.
It wasn’t a research book at all, however. It was a story, a work of fiction by another pony. She was outside to relax her mind, to let it delve into the tales of another’s life. And so her mind was at ease, simply enjoying its surroundings while soaking in the words on the pages before her. Yes, tonight is a good night.
She took the time to savor that moment, looking up into the sky while breathing deeply. It was all so perfect to her. As she gazed up at the sky the world seemed so calm, so peaceful, everything being at rest save for the little twinkling of the one bright star...
...That was also moving.
Twilight Sparkle blinked, her vision focusing on the slightly moving light in the sky. The glowing got brighter, and it began to move further across the sky at a slow, yet steadily increasing pace. Her eyes stayed focused to it, an eyebrow raising up as she thought about the star. She was just looking up at the sky a minute ago, surely she would have noticed a shooting star flying around. And why was it moving faster as it went?
That was when she noticed it getting brighter, and still moving faster. Her eyes widened at the prospect of it actually being a meteor that was entering the atmosphere. And as it got bigger, she thought about the possibility of it impacting on the ground. She hoped it wouldn’t land anywhere near civilization if it did, but it would be such a wondrous thing for her to research. She began thinking about all the new, exotic types of minerals and metals the space rock would contain. She expected some zinc, and also iron, or perhaps some cobalt or copper.
But she didn’t expect the object to take a turn, and head straight for her.
The star was no longer a star, but instead a small, moving object, rapidly approaching her. She stood up, caught off guard by its sudden change. Before she could react she saw the object fly overhead, barely grazing the top of her home with its re-entry fires. And for a brief moment, right when it was directly above her, she caught the briefest glimpse of the meteor, a single thought stuck into her mind.
Is that an out-house?
A loud whine was heard from the meteor as it passed overhead, followed by a crash as it undoubtedly impacted the ground somewhere. She turned around, bringing a hoof up to her gaping mouth. A meteor - now meteorite - had just impacted somewhere in or near Ponyville. All around her lights began to shine through the windows of many of the homes in the town. Some distant voices could be heard, along with the sounds of opening and closing doors. Ponies all around the town had heard the noise, and many were out and about trying to figure out what it was. In the end, it wasn’t really hard to decipher the cause of the sound, if the smoke and fire in the distance was anything to go by.
A meteorite had landed nearby, and Twilight Sparkle was going to be the first to examine it... even if it did appear to look like an out-house.
:~:
Twilight Sparkle ran as fast as she could through the town, her saddlebags accompanying her. Off in the distance was smoke rising from a source of light, no doubt where the object landed. As she passed the last few homes at the edge of town, she realized that it landed just at the edge of Applejack’s farm. Making a mental note of that fact, she proceeded on until she reached the edge of the crater.
She paused, looking at the skid mark on the ground that led up to the object’s final resting spot. The trail was at least twenty meters long, and actually knocked over a tree on its way there. She peered over the crater, seeing the fires from impact dieing down rapidly. Only a few flames remained in the blackened dirt while the object itself appeared intact. And, to her surprise, it was exactly what she thought it was.
An outhouse. An interstellar outhouse had fallen from the sky and landed in Applejack’s orchard. Surely, this had to be some sort of prank. Twilight sighed loudly, but then perked up as she remembered one crucial detail. How could an outhouse survive such a crash like that? she thought as she took a few steps into the crater. She was careful with her steps, making sure that the ground wasn’t smoldering hot before she put weight on her hoof. Maneuvering around a few stray flames she approached the little structure designed for toiletry purposes. She levitated a magnifying glass out of her bag and began to examine the outside of the structure.
This thing doesn’t even have a scratch on it... and it’s in one piece! What sort of engineering would allow it withstand the intense stress of hurling to the ground on fire and then impacting to make a crater?! Twilight couldn’t fathom just how in the world something could do this. Clearly, there was some sort of magic at play. Her horn lit up as she examined the outhouse, yet did not find any trace of magical influence. She raised both her eyebrows at this, genuinely surprised at how it could have no scratch on it.
That was when more ponies began to show up, all of them gather at the edge of the crater to see just what exactly interrupted their sleep. Some of them, however, were less than pleased at what they found.
“An outhouse? Seriously!?” Rainbow Dash yelled out in as she floated above Twilight, staring at the fallen object. “That’s what caused all this noise and woke me up? What the hay!?”
Some murmurs of agreement and general unamusement were heard throughout the rapidly growing crowd of ponies.
“It’s so boldly interrupted my beauty sleep!” Rarity cried out.
“It woke up the babies!’ Carrot cake exclaimed as he and his wife cradled their crying babies in their hooves.
“It rustled my jimmies!” the jelly pony yelled, still covered with several blobs of jelly.
“My muffin got scared!” Derpy complained.
“It knocked over on’a mah apple trees!” Applejack yelled, infuriated.
“It kept me from saving 15% or more on my car insurance by switching to Geico!” Lyra gasped out overdramatically, followed by being slapped in the back of the head by Bonbon’s hoof. “Ow!”
“Would everypony please calm down?” Twilight asked with a raised voice so they could hear her. “There’s a reasonable explanation for an outhouse to fall out of the sky like this.” As she said this, a though her mind. Hmph, I wonder if it’s currently occupied. As if to humor herself, she looked over to the side of the outhouse, seeing a door. To her surprise, the little color insignia below the handle was red words in black reading “‘Occupied’. “What?”
She paused, and then shook her head. There’s no way there’s actually somepony in there! But still, she thought back to how the door had actually been marked occupied, and wondered if there actually was one. She walked up to the door and tried to open it, but came to discover that it actually would not budge. She tried again, this time with magic, but the door simply didn’t move.
She sighed, and then turned around to face the crowd. “Everypony, I suggest you all go back home. There’s really nothing to see here other than what appears to be some elaborate prank.” In truth, she really was curious as to how the outhouse had landed without a scratch. But then she realized that her words were probably more true than expected, perhaps it was all a prank. As the group gave voiced their own forms of disgruntlement, Twilight thought about how the prank could have been pulled off.
Perhaps somepony could have magicked up an image if a falling outhouse, then have the crater already preset with the outhouse inside, and from there just make the sounds and fire. Easy. To Twilight, it seemed like a plausible conclusion to solve the mystery. So, with that, she gave another sigh and turned around, her mind deciding she had had enough for one night. “I’m tired, it’s time for bed.”
:~:
“This is it Granny,” Applejack claimed as she pointed her hoof at the offending outhouse. “This is the thing that tore apart our field, and knocked over our apple tree!”
Applejack, Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith were all gathered at the side of the crater, looking in on the outhouse that lay inside. It was midday with the sun high in the sky. Applebloom approached it, poking at the side of it with her hoof.
“What the hay is an outhouse doing in a crater? Did it fall from th’sky or somethin?”
“...Eeyup.”
“Ah don’t care where it came from, it attacked our farm!” Applejack exclaimed. “Why, when ah met mah hooves on th’one who did this...”
“But, who in their right minds would throw an outhouse at us?” Granny Smith asked as she put her glasses on to get a better look.
“I dunno, but this thing feels weird,” Applebloom said as she continued poking at it. “It ain’t made’a wood!"
“Applebloom, y’all get back here,” Applejack ordered. “Me’an yer brother will deal with the offending outhouse."
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said as he began to approach it.
Applebloom stopped poking and stepped back as her brother approached. Big Mac circled around to the top of the outhouse, intent on lifting it to an upright position before trying to move it. But before he got his hooves on it, he heard a click come from it. He paused and took a couple steps back, wondering if there was somepony inside. He looked to his family members, seeing their expressions to a more surprised one, letting him know they were wondering the same thing.
Suddenly the door shifted slightly, releasing a puff of smoke from its edges as a whooshing sound was heard. The family stared wide-eyed at the outhouse that had perhaps just become something else entirely. Their eyes shifted to one another, silently wondering if they had a clue as to what it was. A few more seconds later the door of he outhouse opened, revealing something they would have never expected.
“A-AN ALIEN!” Applebloom shouted as she watched something with metallic arms and a metal body halfway crawl out of the porta-potty. She turned away instantly, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Applejack followed close behind, carrying Granny Smith on her back. “C-c’mon Granny! Time to get the heck outta Dodge!”
“...Nope!” Big Macintosh backed up a few steps, staring wide-eyed at the monstrosity before turning tail as well and racing after the rest of his family.
What they failed to see was the creature dropping limp on the ground, falling asleep just moments later.
Applebloom ran as fast as her hooves could take her, screaming until her throat got sore. She didn’t pay attention to where she ran - in truth, she really didn’t care as long as it was away from that thing - but she was still in the field of her home, if that was anything to go by. And so she continued to run for another minute, looking for anywhere to hide, anypony to warn or get help from, until she spotted two figures in the distance...
“Hey, did you hear about the thing that fell from the sky last night?” Sweetie Belle asked as she walked the trail up to the Apple Family Home with Scootaloo right beside her.
“Yeah, I heard it was a porta-potty,” She said with a slight chuckle. “I mean, who the hay throws a porta-potty through the sky?”
Sweetie Belle giggled a bit herself. “Yeah, and have it land in Applebloom’s Apple Orchard too.”
“I bet it was some sort of prank,” Scootaloo thought aloud. “Or perhaps some potty aliens.”
“Potty aliens?”
“Yeah! Aliens from outer space sent to our planet to steal all of our potties!”
“...You read some strange comics, Scootaloo...” Sweetie Belle looked away from her friend, noticing a yellow and red object coming at them. “Hey, somepony’s coming! And I think it’s Applebloom!”
Both of the friends stopped and waved at Applebloom, calling out to her as she approached. But their looks of glee turned to confusion as they heard her screaming to them as she approached, a look of fear on her face.
“GURLS!” Applebloom cried out as she came to a screeching halt before them. “Y’all gotta run, an alien just popped outta the outhouse!”
“An alien?” Sweetie Belle tilted her head.
“I knew it!” Scootaloo announce triumphantly. “Quick, let’s go capture it before it steals out potties!” She ran off in the direction Applebloom came from.
“Scootaloo, no! Wait!” Applebloom tried to call to her friend, but she apparently ignored her.
“Ooh, I wanna see!” Sweetie Belle also took off, running towards Scootaloo while also leaving her red-maned friend behind.
“Gurls! GURLS! Ugh!” Applebloom gave an exasperated sigh, fearing the worst as she took off to try and catch up to her friends.
:~:
“So, are you sure you know where to get everything on the list?”
“I’m sure, Twi’,” Spike replied as he looked over the large scroll filled with items to pick up in front him. “I’ll be back from shopping in an hour or two, don’t worry.”
“Well I’m just trying to make sure you know what we need and where to go to get them,” Twilight replied as she looked at her assistant from beside her desk in the middle of the library.
“Yeah yeah, relax,” Spike reassured as he began walking to the front door. “I mean, what’s the worse that could happen?”
As he reached for the doorknob the door suddenly swung open- SLAM -smashing him against the wall as a very frantic orange pony leapt in.
“TWILIGHT!” Applejack cried out as she immediately focused on her purple friend. “Ya gotta come help! An alien just popped outta that outhouse in mah farm!”
“A what?” Twilight asked, rearing her head back a bit from the genuine confusion towards her friend’s words.
“Ah ain’t liein!” she said frantically. “An alien dun popped outta that porta-potty and started crawlin toward us!” She rushed up to her friend, staring her in the eyes while her hooves clasped against Twilight’s shoulders. “Please, ya gotta come help us get rid’ah it!”
“Hold up Applejack!” Twilight staggered back a bit by her friend’s sudden outburst. “W-what did it look like? And how are you sure I can help?”
“Because, you helped defeat an ursa major and-”
“-Ursa MINOR,” Twilight corrected.
“Whatever! Ya helped us defeat that, now help us defeat this before somethin bad happens!”
“Alright alright!” Twilight levitated her bags onto her back, remembering that they still had the same items from last night to use to examine the alleged alien. After doing so Applejack let go and started for the door. “I just hope you’re sure it’s really an alien and not another part of this prank.”
The two bolted out the door, with Twilight closing it behind her. After the door was shut, Spike’s flattened form slowly peeled off the wall and landed flat onto the floor.
:~:
Detecting air composition...
Attempting to match with signatures from other systems...
...
...Match not found. Unknown area detected, initiating injection of stim pack...
Injecting...
...Injection complete.
-Heart rate increasing-
-Blood vessels dilating-
-Muscle work capacity increased-
-Nervous system increasing sensory input-
...Applying electrical jumpstart...
ZZZZAAAP!
The Ghost’s body twitched violently for a short second as his back arched upward, his legs involuntarily kicking themselves out of the porta-potty and onto the ground while his lungs inhaled sharply. His suit had shocked him in an attempt to wake him up, but it only managed to bring him into another grueling haze. But even still, the stimpack had heightened his senses and increased his strength, even if for a short time. He couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or awake yet, but there was definitely one thing he could make out.
Voices. There were voices coming from somewhere around him... multiple voices. Different pitches, different volumes, even different tones. There was more than one person talking around him, and though he didn’t know whether or not they knew of his existence, he had to do something. His mind had its information, now it has to react.
He shifted his limbs slightly, feeling what kind of resistance he had in what direction. His arms were laying flat, no longer being influenced by the pull of gravity, telling him they were on some sort of stable surface that might be construed as a floor or the ground. He could make sense of up and down now at least, but he still could not get his balance completely configured.
His legs shifted then, attempting to gain some ground for his body to move off of. He needed to react, and his first instinct was to stand up. His arms shuffled, pushing the hands flat against the surface below him. The surface... it was soft, and it had the texture of dirt. His mind tried to determine whether or not he was in a forest, a desert, a taiga, a field, or even if it was something other than dirt, like snow or sand.
Then it hit him. He needed to see, he needed information from the optical nerves. His mind put pressure to them, making his eyelids twitch, trying to spread apart. A hardened crust of sleep kept them together, but his hyped muscles tore them apart. He could see again, his mind was clearing the haze. Everything he saw was fuzzy at first, like he was waking up from being put under by an anesthetic. His pupils opened up, allowing more light in to clear the haze.
Brown... that was the first thing he saw. There was a lot of it, and it was still out of focus, but he recognized the color. He pushed against his muscles, raising himself off the ground and onto all fours. There was more than the ground... there was some green. He tilted his head back a bit, but didn’t go further from a horrible aching erupting from his spine.
More green. Grass, perhaps. Life. There was life on this planet, foliage at least, but definitely sentient life. He could still hear the voices, coaxing his body to react more. He pushed up with his arms, but wasn’t able to get himself up on his legs. There was another color then, a more florescent one. It was yellowish, perhaps a bit tan. It was words, data filtering into his view piece. His mask - his suit. He was still in armor. He recognized the jolt he felt, as well as the increase to his body’s responsiveness. His suit was trying to alert him to something, an outside force perhaps. He might be in danger, his life was in danger.
Did he care at the moment, though? Did it really matter to him? Did he... the mission. The target! He was still a ghost, a tool to be used by the Dominion. He had a job to do, and he would get it done, he needed to get it done in order to still be useful. He had to get up, he had to survive, he had to do what he needed to do... to be satisfied.
He tensed his muscles again, and then pushed forward with his arms. His body leaned back, and he almost fell backwards again were it not for his legs catching on with the move. His arms spread out for balance as he slowly raised himself up, slowly, patiently. His muscles still ached, they were sore all over, but the stimpack dulled the sense of pain and allowed him to push through it.
More green, and even some other colors as well. The light was intense, but his eyes were quick to adjust to it through the mask. There were figures there, unidentifiable blobs of colors. Red, white, orange, more green, maybe some red... he couldn’t decipher them all. But the voices, the voices had stopped. The only sound was of him breathing and his heart beating rapidly against his chest.
He finally managed to stand upright with a loud groan, taking a moment to try to process what he was seeing. He couldn’t make it all out, it was all still too fuzzy still. His arms were held out around his sides, trying to keep himself balanced as if he was trying to stand for the first time in his life. He felt something else though, something his psi abilities picked up on. The feel of eyes on him, the feeling of being watched. Something was watching him, perhaps many things. He couldn’t judge amount, but he knew his sense was being true. He had to move, he had to escape the watching eyes! He took a leap of faith, taking his left foot and stepping it forward half a step.
And then, a scream. A loud, ear piercing scream. He knew what it was, he had heard it so many times before, especially on Tarsonis when the entire planet was massacred. But that was the last thing he heard before his body shut down on him, the effect of the stimpack wearing off. It was meant to jumpstart his body so he would be able to react normally again, but his body was too spent, too disheveled from being ripped through hyperspace like it was.
He collapsed to the ground, his body going limp while his mind fell into unconsciousness before he completed the fall. And there he lay, yet again, flat on his face in the dirt. His arms and legs were sprawled out while the porta-potty lay only a couple feet behind him.
:~:
“Wooooaaahhh...” Scootaloo and Sweetie belle said in unison as they stared at the fallen figure of the alien from the edge of the crater. “
Where do ya think it's from?” Schootaloo whispered
“How should I know?” Sweetie Belle replied.
“Gurls, we really shouldn’t be here!” Applebloom warned, her hooves shuffling nervously from behind the two. “We should get somepony to help first!”
“Relax Applebloom, it looks like it’s just sleeping,” Scootaloo said.
“Well then we should really try to not wake it up then!”
“Oh don’t worry, Applebloom,” Sweetie Belle began in a teasing voice. “What’s the worst that could happen? A sleep alien gets grouchy because we woke it up? I think I would be more afraid of my sister being grouchy than this thing.”
“Besides, look at it. It’s not nearly as big as half the things in the Everfree Forest, and we’ve had ponies like Fluttershy face down a manticore! This alien shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Ah dunno gurls,” Applebloom took a couple steps forward, coming up beside her friends. “It looked mighty scary when me'n mah family saw it come out.”
“Well,” Sweetie Belle took a few moments to think, scratching her chin before continuing. “Maybe if we-”
“APPLEBLOOM!” the three fillies perked up at the shout, and then turned around to find Applejack and Twilight Sparkle racing towards them.
“Uh, Bloom,” Scootaloo said hesitantly. “I think your sister’s here.”
“Yeah, no kiddin,” Applebloom gulped nervously as she watched the two mares - more importantly her older sister - approach.
“You three! What in the world are y’all doin here!?” Applejack demanded as she got up to them with Twilight joining beside her. “Ya coulda gotten harmed by the alien!”
“But it’s sleeping!” Sweetie Belle reasoned.
“Yeah, and besides, it really doesn’t look all that scary,” Scootaloo added.
“Ah don’t care what it is!” Applejack continued undeterred. “Sleeping or not, that thing came from outer space, and we don’t wanna mess with it!”
“Wait, where is this ‘alien’ anyways?” Twilight asked.
“It’s right there!” Scootaloo pointed her hoof inside the crater at the downed extraterrestrial body.
Twilight Approached the crater, standing in front of the fillies as she looked inside. True to their word, there it was, laying on the ground in a crumpled heap. It wasn’t moving, and from where she was she couldn’t even decipher whether or not it was breathing. But sure enough, her mind couldn’t imagine anything in the world that she knew of that looked remotely close to what she was looking at.
“Wow...” Twilight’s eyes widened at the sight, her eyes taking in all the curves and sections of its form. To her, it seemed to be wearing some sort of exterior addition to its body, simply by how it looked to her. Perhaps it was an armor of some sort, it certainly didn’t look like any sort of clothing. At least, that’s what she guessed. It was an alien, she had no idea how it worked or what it thought or where it came from. But perhaps she could find out.
“I think it’s here to abduct our potties!”
“What?” Twilight did a double-take, her mind being drawn out of its brainstorming to focus on the somewhat ridiculous sounding claim. She didn’t notice the sound of a sharp inhale coming from inside the crater.
“What in tarnation are you talking about?” Applejack asked as she looked incredulously at Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo added in. “We think that since it came here from outer space in a flying potty house, that it has to be here to claim our potties!”
“That just sounds...” Twilight was about to continue, but the sound of Applebloom screaming cut her off.
The other four turned, confused as to why she would scream, until they saw the alien in the crater getting up onto its legs. Their eyes widened, their hearts skipped a beat, and somewhere out there a pink pony with a screw and baseball cutie mark began to wonder about the greater meaning of life.
The alien, though it looked sort of small while laying on the ground, ended up towering above them easily when on its feet. It was twice the size of Twilight and Applejack, and seemed to stare at them menacingly with those eyes it had. Those strange, green eyes. One was really big, another was sort of small, and the last one was very tiny. But they were all glowing, and something inside the eyes were shifting and twisting, as if they were focusing on them like a camera lense.
They were all stricken with fear, unable to move save for their bodies shaking violently from witnessing the extraterrestrial terror staring at them. It was tall, its limbs were thick and covered with some unknown material that was probably some sort of “buck you up and then some” gear. Some sort of item - probably a weapon - was strapped to its back, and worst of all, it smelled like bull poop.
It just came out of a porta-potty made by large, bipedal bull creatures after sitting in there for Celestia knows how long. What did you expect?
Needless to say, they all felt the desire to scream. And as soon as it took one step forward and made its battle cry, which sounded a lot like “uugh...” they did. They all screamed, and very loud at that. Princess Luna would have been proud, since their combined screeches of terror was louder than her Royal Canterlot voice. So, what goes pretty well with screaming? why, running of course!
And so they ran - all five of them - in the other direction. They didn’t even notice the alien falling down and going to sleep - again - due to their screaming for their lives. As their screams died out from them running off into the distance, a snoring sound could be heard from the laying figure of the alien.
...I can’t help but feel as though I’ve seen this happen before... oh yeah, it was just last chapter. Right.
Spike slowly got to his feet, wobbling a little as he held a hand up to his head, rubbing it in circles. His eyes were spinning around in their sockets, and he could have sworn he saw little winged Rarity’s flying around him in circles.
“Oh man...” he groaned as he took an uneasy step forward. “I gotta remind everypony to knock next time before they open the-”
SLAM
“Spike! Spiiiike!”
“...Door...”
Twilight looked around frantically for her little assistant, but then decided that she was in too much of a rush and assumed he could hear her anyways. “Spike! The alien is real! And it’s alive and smelly and looks very terrorizing! I’m going to gather up our friends and we’re going to confront this thing in force, in the meantime please write to the princess and ask her for her help!”
A soft groan came from behind the opened door, but Twilight didn’t notice it.
“You got that? Okaythanksbye!” And out she went, making sure the door was closed behind her.
Spike slowly peeled himself off the wall - yet again - and landed face first on the floor, wondering why life was hating him today.
:~:
The six friends, once they were all gathered up, made their way across Sweet Apple Acres to the crash site of the extraterrestrial outhouse. Twilight and Applejack were a bit scared, but determined to face their next biggest foe. Rainbow Dash was confident she could knock the thing out again in a few hits, as Rarity was more intrigued about what it was wearing than anything else. Fluttershy was scared for her life, and Pinkie Pie was internally wondering what the secret answer to the whole universe was. She was sure it was some sort of number.
At any rate, they all made it to the edge of the crater, and Pinkie Pie ended up making one of the most important observations that could ever be made about the alien at that point in time.
“Hey! I think it’s gone to sleep!” she exclaimed, pointing her hoof at it.
“What the hay!?” Applejack, despite her fears, ran up to the fallen form of the alleged alien. “But, but it was standin up! It was walking towards us and makin weird noises and everything!”
“Well it certainly does look like it’s asleep...” Twilight thought aloud as she also got closer to inspect it. “However, we shouldn’t make assumptions. Alien or not, this thing probably has totally different versions or definitions for the term ‘sleep’, in fact, it may not need to sleep at all.”
“I don’t care where it’s from or what it does,” Rainbow Dash said as she flew right up to the thing, taking an aggressive mid-air pose. “Nopony goes to sleep when they’ve got a fight with the Dash coming!”
“P-p-please don’t wake it...” Fluttershy whispered as she cowered behind Rarity. “It looks... scary...”
“It looks like a fashion disaster!” Rarity exclaimed as she also approached the alien. “Just look at what it’s got covering its body!” she gave the exterior part over some round area next to its arms a few taps, making a slight ding sound each time. “A very bland gray metal suit that looks like it was assembled by a paper mache artist!”
“Hey, what’s this thing on its back?” Pinkie Pie asked as she poked at some sort object that was attached to it. “It looks really weird!”
“Hmm...” Twilight examined the alien’s rifle closely, and then noticed what appeared to be glass on top of the main body of it. “Let me get a closer look at that.”
What Twilight had meant was for Pinkie Pie to move away so she could get closer to it and examine it more thoroughly. What she certainly hadn’t meant was for Pinkie Pie to grab onto the thing and suddenly pull it off its back with an audible click. ...The latter ended up happening.
“PINKIE!” All five of the other mares gasped in unison.
“What?” She asked, truly confused. “You said you wanted to examine it, right?” She looked around, all her friends were looking at her with gaping mouths and widened eyes as she held the strange device in her hooves.
“Pinkie!” Twilight gasped. “By Celestia’s beard, don’t just take something from it!”
“Why not? It’s not like we’re stealing it!” Pinkie hefted the thing over her shoulder nonchalantly as she continued. “Besides, we’re just borrowing it so we can see how it works.” She began looking over the device, her eyes nearly stretching out of their sockets to look over every nook and cranny of the thing.
“Pinkie, give me that,” Twilight ordered as her magic took hold of it, pulling i away from her pink friend’s grasp.
“Aww,” Pinkie Pouted, crossing her front hooves and sitting on her rump.
Twilight, along with her other friends, ignored the pouting as Twilight inspected the device closely. All of the others gathered around, watching as she felt over it with her hooves and her magic. Off to the side a scroll and quill floated up, taking notes as she went along with her examination.
“Hmm... appears to be made mostly out of metal, surprisingly lighter than expected though still quite heavy, A long barrel with a nozzle at one end while the other end supports some sort of holding apparatus...” She looked over the body closely, placing her hooves onto what we all know to be the magazine. “Some parts are loose, perhaps interchangable, no real purpose for this thing can be determined however. Perhaps its purpose has not yet been discovered in our society.”
As she said this, one of her hooves slid over a noticeably slimmer and slightly curved portion of the device. The tip of her hoof touched it, and to her surprise it jiggled just slightly. She attempted to tug on it, but it would not budge. Looking over the body again she saw a small switch on the side with the words “Safe”, “Semi”, and “Auto” written along an arc in line with the switch.
“Woah...” she whispered to herself just loud enough for the others to hear.
“What is it Twi’?” Applejack asked.
“There’s words written on this device, words I can read! Look!” She used her magic to turn the object over, allowing her friends to see what she just examined.
“So wait, These things can write Equestrian?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Probably not just write it, but probably read and even speak it as well!” Rarity exclaimed. “Oh dear, I wonder if this is even an alien at all that we’re dealing with.”
“Are you sure this isn’t a prank? Cuz this looks an awful lot like a prank!” Pinkie claimed as she put a hoof to her chest. “I can tell from having seen - and done - many pranks in my time.”
“Honestly, I still don’t know if this is a prank or not. But this all seems a bit too elaborate to be a prank though...”
“Well who cares!” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “What the heck does this thing do anyways?” She pointed to the device still held by Twilight’s magic.
“I don’t know, Rainbow, I’m still trying to- hey!”
Rainbow Dash pulled it out of Twilight’s magical grip, hovingering in the air while her front hooves fiddled around with it. Her looked closely, finding the little switch with the words and put pressure on it. To her surprise it did not press in, ut instead slid over and clicked into place right next to the word “Semi”.
“Rainbow Dash, stop! You don’t know what that thing does!” Twilight warned.
“Relax, Twilight,” the rainbow-maned pegasus assured as she held device nonchalantly in her hooves with the nozzle pointed outwards in some random direction level with the ground. “I’m sure whatever it does, it’s nothing we can’t handle.”
“Consarnit, Rainbow!” Applejack yelled. “Give it back before ya hurt somepony!”
“Oh yeah, like this thing’s gonna hurt somepony,” she teased, fiddling with the slim, slightly curved portion that Twilight was messing with earlier. “What’s it gonna do, spray water at us or-”
BANG!
Rainbow Dash didn’t finish her sentence before her hoof was able to press down on the trigger, firing off a single round from the rifle. The kicked knocked it from her grasp, allowing it to fall to the ground as the extremely loud sound rang everypony’s ears as their bodies jumped in surprised. Everypony there stayed still, mouths wide again in shock with their eyes open wide and their ears flattened against their heads from the incredibly loud noise. The only Pony that was doing something dIfferent was Fluttershy, who was already halfway to her home by that time.
Meanwhile...
“Mmmhmhmhm...” The jelly pony purred as he basked in a large jar of strawberry jelly. “Fun fun fun.... heehee...”
Suddenly, his basking was interrupted as an incredibly tiny, yet very fast-moving object impacted with his jar, shattering it across its midsection and spilling all his jelly everywhere.
“Oh no!” he cried as he looked around, seeing all of his precious jelly spilled across the ground. “My jimmies, they have been rustled! Again!”
Meanwhile...
Sweetie Belle was casually walking around in her sister’s boutique, trying to stay out of trouble after Twilight dropped her off and took her sister away to face down the alien. She sighed, sitting in the middle of the room looking as bored as ever. She looked over to the side, seeing something bright and shiny sitting on her sister’s desk. Determined not to break it or anything else in the store, she cautiously approaches the desk, reaching her hoof up just enough to-
Some unseeable force suddenly burst through the window, crashing through Rarity’s sewing machine, knocking the shiny thing away from Sweetie Belle, ricocheting off a pole, smashing through a few ponequins, tearing up several curtains, ricocheting off a metal mirror while breaking the glass, and then finally flying out another window on the opposite side of the store.
Sweetie belle stopped, looking around at the devastation that she couldn’t help but feel she caused.
“...Dumb shiny thing!”
Meanwhile...
Lyra was sitting at her desk in her house, her quill controlled by her magic floating away from a piece of paper. She held the piece of paper up, looking over it with a content smile on her face.
“There,” she began in a modest tone. “Now I can finally save 15% or more on my car insurance by switching to-”
Something crashed through the window just then, tearing a clean hole through the paper where a letter ‘I’ was supposed to be and exiting via another window in the house.
“...Gecko?”
Meanwhil-Ah! What the hell?! I think someone just shot a hole through my window! ...Aww damnit they spilled my coffee. Now my jimmies have been rustled too!
:~:
“RAINBOW DASH!” Twilight practically screamed while holding her hooves over her ears. “What Celestia’s name did you do!?”
“I dunno, I dunno!” Dash pleaded, her confidence suddenly unfound as she stared at the device laying on the ground, a bit of smoke trailing off the nozzle. “I didn’t mean to, honest! I was just messing with it and I think I hit a triger or something and it just did... that!”
“Dag nabbit rainbow!” Applejack yelled. “Ya made all of our ears ring, and worst of all ya scared away poor Fluttershy!”
“I said I was sorry, okay!? What more do you want from me?” Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves, sitting down on the ground facing away from her friends to pout.
“T-twilight, darling,” Rarity began hesitantly, trying to draw attention away from her guilt-ridden friend. “Perhaps we should move this contraption, and that thing that was carrying it to a more secluded location so that nopony ends up getting hurt by it.”
“I think that’s a good idea, Rarity,” Twilight began as the ringing in her ears finally faded away. “I better bring this thing to my library at least, lock it up in the basement or something until we can get the princess here.”
“Are ya sure we should keep it in your home, sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she looked worriedly at Twilight. “Ah already ain’t likin that thing it was carrying around, but ah ain’t got no clue what exactly the thing itself will do if and when it wakes up.”
“You’re right, I’ll see if I can’t put some sort of barrier spell around it when we get back. But don’t worry, you know how I am when it comes to making sure everything is safe and accounted for,” Twilight smiled a bit, trying to fortify her friends’ confidence.
“Then it’s settled,” rarity said as she looked over the group. “Applejack, you and Rainbow Dash escort Twilight back to her library with that... thing in tow. Pinkie Pie...” she looked over at her pink friend, who was making silly faces at the downed form of the alien. “...Um, would you be a dear and help me go comfort Fluttershy?’
“Not a problem!” Pinkie declared as she smiled vibrantly at the fashionata.
“Alright. Everypony, you know what to do.” Twilight’s horn glowed, her magic wrapping around both the gadget and the alien, floating them up beside her. “Let’s get moving. WIth any lucky, Princess Celestia is already at the library.”
“Let’s get goin then!” Applejack said as they all sprang into action, with the exception of Pinkie Pie, who more bounced with a flurry of giggles than anything.
:~:
Spike finally got himself off the ground again, making sure to wobble away from the door in case it to slam open again. He sighed as he rubbed his head, a very bad migraine setting in as his whole body was aching. It apparently wasn’t very pleasant to have your whole body flattened against the wall twice in a row, so Spike just really wanted to lay down for a while. But before that, he headed into the kitchen to get himself something for the pounding in his head.
He checked the cabinets, but there was simply no medicine at all to be found. He thought about heading to the bathroom upstairs to check there for some medicine, as that would seem like a much more likely spot, however the fact that it was a walk, then up some stairs, then some more walking sort of discouraged him from taking that course of action. Instead, he opted to head into the basement since it was much closer. Twilight had a bunch of weird stuff down there, maybe some Tylenol was one of them.
After discovering there to be no relief for his headache down there, he realized he would have to go all the way up to the bathroom after all. Sighing in irritation and discomfort, he began his ascent up the basement stairs when he heard something open the front door of the library. He knew then that somepony had come in, and was actively talking, meaning that there was probably more than one.
As he got up to the door of the basement-
SMACK
-it swung open towards him, smacking him in the face and sending him tumbling backwards down the stairs.
As he lay on the ground, wondering why life hated him so much that day, he heard some noises coming from the top of the stairs.
“Rainbow Dash, be careful with that thing! It could go off again!” To Spike, that voice sounded like Twilight Sparkle’s.
“Don’t worry,” another voice said, which he presumed was Rainbow Dash’s even through his dazed state. “I put the little switch thing back on safe, so it should be good now.”
Spike didn’t see her throw something into the basement, as his eyes were closed while he tried to nurture his horribly aching head, but he certainly felt it as it came down the steps and smacked him straight in the dome. Spike fell back - yet again - laying flat on his back on the floor with a pained groan emanating from his throat.
“Dash!” he heard Twilight’s voice yell. “You could at least try to be a bit more careful with it! You don’t want to break the thing, then we might not find out what it does. And what’s worse is you might make its owner very upset. You should try being more gentle with things, like this.”
After saying this, Spike heard the sound of something being controlled by magic float down the stairs, and then get “gently” set down... right on top of him. His legs kicked around wildly as the rest of his body was smothered by the large and very heavy metal thing laying on him.
“Hey, I just noticed something,” came Twilight’s voice as the door to the basement began to close. “Where’s Spike?”
Part 5, also known as the part where he finally wakes up
-:|Part 5|:- (also known as the part where he finally wakes up)
Twilight levitated a spoon across the room, landing it in Spike's claws before releasing it from her magical influence. She looked on at her bandaged assistant, nearly covered head to toe in bandage wraps as he sported an unamused look on his face. The only satisfaction he seemed to have at the time was from the tub of ice cream he was eating straight out of, courtesy of Twilight herself.
“Spike, I said I was sorry,” Twilight pleaded as she look at him with the best puppy eyes she could muster. Sadly, it did not work.
“Yeah yeah, I heard ya already. Just make sure that next time you look before you open the door.” He took a scoop of ice cream out of the tub and stuck it in his mouth, chewing it loudly before looking at Applejack who was sitting across the room. He pulled the spoon out of his mouth, pointing it at her as he continued to chew loudly. “That goes for you too.”
“Hey, ah had to warn y'all 'bout the alien okay?” She crossed her hooves defensively. “'Taint my fault you just happened to be right there.”
“Are you sure you're okay, Spike?” Fluttershy asked, inching closer to the injured lizard from only a few feet beside him.
“I said I was fine, I just need to take a break is all,” he replied grumpily, taking another scoop of ice cream and shoving it into his mouth.
All around Twilight and Spike's friends were gathered in the library, sitting in a large circle around the center of the main room. After taking the alien in and storing it in the library's basement, Twilight's friends gathered up to talk about what to do next. That is, after they (and by they I mean Fluttershy) treated Spike and gave him something to cope with being so horribly abused last chap-I mean earlier.
“Aaanyways,” Rainbow began, moving away from the somewhat uncomfortable conversation. “What are we gonna do with the big metal alien you got downstairs?”
“I suggest we send the princess a letter,” Twilight stated as she looked around all of her friends. “Once Spike gets better, we'll send her one right away and then let her take care of all of this.”
“Well of course we should send her a letter, but what do we do until her or her guards arrive to pick it up?” Rarity pondered aloud.
“Don’t worry, I set up a shield around it after we got spike out from under it. That should keep it contained until we’re able to get help from the princess. Until then, I suggest we keep watch over, and perhaps even try to learn something while we’re at it.”
Twilight paused at that, her mind processing her last spoken words a bit further. At the start of this whole ordeal she had assumed it to be some sort of prank, but just then she realized scope of what she’s gotten into. This was no ordinary finding, no everyday thing you come across, this was an alien. A living, possibly functioning alien! And even if it was some sort of metal contraption, she could still take it apart to see how it worked.
With those thoughts, a quill and parchment floated over beside the studious mare, a sudden twinkle appearing in her eyes. “We, we can take notes on its physical form!” another piece of parchment floated over. “A-and then we can try to decipher how it walks, and breaths, and sees and smells and hears,” more parchments flew over as Twilight’s regular tone turned more excited. “And then we can learn its language! And talk about its past, and where it comes from, their species’ history, and ooooooh this is going to be so great!”
Without warning the purple unicorn bolted towards the door to the basement, scrolls and quill in tow. As she raced down the steps faster than she thought possible by walking, the gears in her mind turned at exceptionally high rates of speed. Their whole world could change by her findings. Entire technological breakthroughs into fields previously unfathomable could occur, advances in medicine and travel, organizational patterns refurbished with new gadgets and appliances, and a plethora of other possibilities.
Twilight didn’t even blink as she raced up to the barrier in the basement, her eyes stuck open as wide as possible as they gazed beyond her magical barrier. Her first scroll was right beside her head, the quill just dabbing at the top left corner of the paper, ready to jot down anything at a moment’s notice. What does it do? How does it do these things? What is it? What makes it tick? So many questions sped through her brain so fast that when she finally spoke, it came out as a jumbled mess in a tone that could only be mimicked by a fangirl meeting some sort of famous singer.
“WHAT DO YOU HOW DO!?” She blurted out, a large grin plastered onto her face with the corners of her smile twitching sporadically. She expected to find the the still laying there, but when her mind pulled away from fantasy and focused more on reality just enough, she discovered something completely flipped her world upside down...
“I-it, it’s...” her grin broke, rapidly falling into a frown as the realization set it. “...It’s gone!”
“It’s what now?” Applejack asked as she and the other four friends made their way down the stairs. They gathered the still active barrier, taking notice that the presumed alien, as well as its unknown object, was missing.
“Hey, where’d it go?” Pinkie asked, looking around the room. “How’d it get outta that shieldy thing?”
“I, I don’t know,” Twilight replied softly, backing up as she continued to stare into the empty space within the shield. “It was there just a while ago! I know I set the force field up around it, I just know it!” Twilight rushed back to the front of the barrier, placing her hooves on it to see if it was still intact. Surely enough, it was still solid against her. She banged her front hooves on it a few times, yet it wouldn’t budge. Her barrier was rock solid. “...Could the alien have perhaps teleported?”
“Maybe these aliens are somewhat skilled as using magic like we are,” Rarity proposed.
“Maybe,” Twilight sighed as she let go of the quill and parchment, allowing them to simply fall to the floor.
Applejack cantered up to the side of the shield, peering inside to the floor in the middle. “Well, it don’t look like it dug anywhere. There ain’t no hole in the floor, so I’m gonna go ahead an’ say it tellahported.”
Rainbow Dash circled around the barrier a few times, looking at it from above, from the sides, at every angle she could manage. “There’s no hole in your magic barrier or anything, so I’m gonna go with teleporting too.”
Twilight gave one last sigh before she deactivated the barrier, allowing it to simply fade away as if it were never there. “Well now we have to go searching for it, and who knows what kind of trouble it could get into, or perhaps cause.”
“It couldn’t have gone far,” Rainbow Dash spoke up as she hovered next to her egghead friend. “I bet I could find it really easy, even if it made it to the forest already! I mean c’mon! It’s big, metal,and walks on two legs. Would probably stick out like a sore thumb just about anywhere.”
Twilight’s ears perked up a bit at the suggestion, and she looked over at the same spot Pinkie was inspecting with a new look of interest. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. I mean hay, it’s worth a shot.”
Twilight walked over slowly, her horn beginning to glow as she felt her magic around every space that was once contained inside of her force field. Just a few steps away Fluttershy was slowly cantering over to the far end of the room, her eyes curiously looking over everything in the area.
“Hmm...” Twilight’s magic worked to detect something, anything left over from some sort of spell or magical discharge, but after a few moments it became obvious that nothing of the sort had happened there. In fact, the only thing she could feel was the leftover magical residue from her force field. “That’s weird, I can’t detect anything.”
“Nothing at all?” Rarity asked as she came to the purple mare’s side. “Now I may not be as magically inclined as you, Twilight, but I still know that all magic leaves some sort of trace or marking.”
“I know but, there’s just nothing here.” Twilight did another scan of the area, widening her search outside of the boundaries of the barrier by a few feet. “This doesn’t make any sense, there’s nothing here at all. How could it have gotten out without using any magic?”
Fluttershy got closer to the far end of the room, but stopped as she saw the desk that sat against the wall there budge slightly, as if somepony had bumped into it. She blinked and cocked her head as she noticed the weird look the area around the desk and the wall had. It sort of looked normal, only when it almost seemed as though the shapes and outlines of everything was... bent somehow. Like when you would look down a street in a hot summer day and the rising heat would distort the way you see things at a distance.
She looked down, noticing the distortion to go to the floor, but stop suddenly just beyond the bottom of the desk. She turned her head upwards, trying to find how high up the distortion went. The little ripples could be seen traveling almost all the way to the ceiling, before again just stopping so suddenly. It was as if there was a warped glass pane in front of her, making a very clear-cut area distorted while everything else was fine.
The conversation the others were having, along with most of her fears and apprehensiveness towards the alien itself, dissipated as she lost herself in her own little investigation. The warped area of space seemed to mesmerise her almost, to catch her attention and intrigue her so much that she did not accurately process any sort of possibilities for such an anomaly. But then she saw something, a little puff of vapor escape from the upper area of the distortion. It faded away quickly, as if it were steam, and a few seconds later there was another puff, and another. And it was at that moment that she actually heard and fully processed the next thing to come from her friends behind her.
“Well, what if it never poofed away or anything?” Pinkie suggested as she looked at the purple unicorn trying desperately to find any sort of trace of magic other than her own. “What if it just went invisible and is still in here with us?”
“Invisible?” Fluttershy whispered to what she thought was nothing.
As she was about to look over the distortion again she froze, her eyes locking on to a sudden appearance of three glowing circles just above the puffs she had witnessed. They were strange, all of them different sizes. One big one on the left, a small one on the right, and a very tiny one just to the right of that and down a little.
“Hey Fluttershy,” a voice called, snapping the yellow pegasus out of her trance. She peered over her shoulder to see Rainbow Dash looking at her with a confused expression on her face. “What are ya doin over there? Checking out Twilight’s chemistry set or something?”
“Oh, no, I was just, um...” Fluttershy trailed off, her eyes shifting back up to where she saw the green circles, but they weren’t there anymore. She blinked a few times, and then turned her eyes back to her rainbow-maned friend. “I uh, I don’t know, uh,”
“C’mon Fluttershy, we got more important things to do than look through some dusty old test tubes or something.” Dash turned away, focusing back towards the others as Fluttershy let out a small huff. She knew she thought something, but didn’t quite know what to make of it.
She just started to move her hooves to turn around and make her way back to her friends when something else caught her ears, a sort of rough sound from behind her. It almost sounded like somepony clearing their throat, and without thinking she turned around...
...just in time to see some the fabric of space light up and shift color spectrums, the distorted area changing from the look of the basement wall and part of the desk into a large, scary, metal monster staring at her. It was crouched down to her level, its three green eyes staring directly into hers just inches away.
Fluttershy’s body seized up, her heart feeling like it completely shut off for a few seconds as she stared into the eyes of the alien, seeing no pupils, no retina, no soul... nothing. Just the cold, metallic face and glowing green circles that she could only assume were meant to see. After a long second a puff came from the bottom portion of the face, the same one she witnessed earlier, and felt a light wind against her fur. After an even longer few seconds later, it leaned its face closer ever so slightly, breaking the silence between the two with the utterance of one simple, universal word...
“...Boo.”
:~:
Darkness, that was all he could register at the first moment of his newfound consciousness. His eyes were able to work more properly this time, along with most of his motor functions. His limbs shifted around against some sort of hard, smooth surface. It was at that time that he remembered that he thought he was on something soft a while ago.
It was still foggy to him, an almost impossible delve back into what had transpired during only a minute of drug-induced activity, and yet he could still make out such subtle details about his surroundings. It was softer than what he was feeling, and there were colors where he was, and... noise. A lot of loud noise just before he came to again, bringing him to his current situation.
He opened his eyes, alleviating the darkness and allowing his eyes adjust to his maks’s display of his surroundings. He began to gather his sense of up and down, accumulating enough balance to sit upright and take a look around. The surface he was seated on looked to be wood, it resembled it greatly by the fine lines that traveled through it along with the brown and reddish hue that accompanied it. He gazed around his both mid-ways and up high, noticing a sudden change from wood color to everything going purple.
He grunted softly, unable to understand what exactly he was looking at. Through the weird purple glow it looked as if he was in some sort of old, wooden room with tree roots everywhere. There was a set of stairs, some desks and bookcases, and what appeared to be laboratory equipment... albeit very outdated and almost ancient equipment.
He extended an arm to the transparent purple wall in front of him, finding out with a firm push of his hand that it seemed to be solid. He got to his knees and felt around more sides of the wall, rubbing his hands against it to find any sort of weak spot, but it seemed to hold still like a wall. He contemplated it being a lot like glass, and gave the wall a firm punch to see if it would break.
The barrier didn’t respond, it only shimmered very slightly from the impact. The ghost contemplated if this was some sort of holding cell, even though it looked nothing like it. To add to his confusion, he discovered his rifle right by his side, magazine and everything still inside. He reached over and took hold of his weapon, holding it with both arms as he got into a crouching position. He could not fully stand while inside the barrier, leaving him to crouch, but he figured a few shots from his canister rifle might make a few holes in it.
But before he could get the chance to try, he heard some noises from above. Something, or some group of things were coming closer, he could hear the sound of clanks against the floor and even voices echoing from up the stairs. Consulting his ghost training and what knowledge he has of his surroundings, he decides to put his stealth abilities to his advantage rather than come face to face with whatever was able to trap him in the strange barrier. He turns on his cloak and fades away, just in time too as a figure makes its way to the bottom of the steps and right up the side of the wall.
That’s when the ghost really stops to get a good look at what exactly he’s dealing with. Never before would have imagined any sort of zerg create such a force field, so he omitted them almost immediately when he first woke up. The terran was an option, but in such a room with wood and ancient equipment, he found it very unlikely that the equipment for such a feat would be around. The protoss came up as the most plausible, for they can actually create such force fields at will and almost anywhere they want. The only issue is their barriers were almost always either clear or light blue, never purple... like the weird thing that just came before him and the wall.
‘...did someone slip something into my stimpack kit again?’ was all he could think as he stared at - what he assumed to be - a lavender horse thing with a horn on its head. It had some colors in its hair, colors he was pretty sure horses shouldn’t have, along with the ability to hold expressions on its face. Speaking of which, he noticed the thing looked like it was on some sort of drug, much like what he assumed he was affected by at the moment. And then, to his constantly growing surprise, it spoke.
“WHAT DO YOU HOW DO!?”
‘Oh yeah, something drugged me... god damnit.’ He was already starting to wonder how much longer until his mind broke into the shattered mess called insanity, but even the progression towards that state of mind took pause as he witnessed even more colorful horses trot into down the steps. Truly, this had to be some sort of horribly cruel joke. He was about ready to uncloak and start demanding names and factions when the same purple thing that had first approached began speaking again.
“I-it, it’s... It’s gone!”
‘“It?” Well that’s not very nice.’ His right hand felt around the trigger assembly for his weapon as the thumb for that same hand grazing over the safety switch. It was strange though, the voice was... feminine. ‘Is this creature female?’
“It’s what now?” came another voice. It came from the orange horse this time, the one that just happened to be wearing a stetson. And right beside it was another equine creature, only with a body made of pink fur and cotton candy.
“Hey, where’d it go?” The strangely delectable looking cotton candy thing said in an annoyingly high pitched voice. “How’d it get outta that shieldy thing?”
That was another thing the ghost noticed. The colorful creatures reminded him of... candy. There was a yellow and pink one that might taste like bananas, a rainbow one that reminded him of a certain disc-shaped one he saw in a poster, one with pictures of apples on it, which just reminded him of apples, and... to put it simply, he just got hungry from looking at all of them. He even began to question whether or not they tasted like meat.
“I, I don’t know, it was there just a while ago! I know I set the force field up around it, I just know it!”
‘A forcefield?’ the ghost thought to himself after hearing the latest babble from the equine things. ‘So these things have the power to project fields of energy that block matter and emit a soft glow of light... are they perhaps protoss?’ After a bit more thinking, he began to question just exactly how he could understand the creatures. He had never seen them before in his life, the horses he knew couldn’t talk, and he was fairly certain that candy-based organisms would not make for a very stable life structure.
“...Could the alien have perhaps teleported?”
‘What?’ The ghost paused his thinking process, his mind turning to focus fully on what the horses were saying.
“Maybe these aliens are somewhat skilled as using magic like we are,” the white one said.
‘Magic...’
“Maybe,” the purple one sighed.
“Well, it don’t look like it dug anywhere,” said the apple one. “There ain’t no hole in the floor, so I’m gonna go ahead an’ say it tellahported.”
“There’s no hole in your magic barrier or anything, so I’m gonna go with teleporting too.” The skittles thing looked unsure as it- ‘Wait, are those wings? Is it flying!?’
Then, without warning, the barrier around him faded away, allowing everything outside the wall to come into his vision with regular colors. The horse things continued to talk amongst themselves, and the ghost took this as an opportunity to perhaps escape from his ‘magic’ prison. The group of creatures moved around where the barrier once was, poked and prodded the floor and the air, and the purple one even did a little light show with her horn.
Honestly, he was never too curious about how things worked in the world. There were many things in the universe he simply did not understand, but because of his job he knew he didn’t need to understand it in order to get the mission completed. The protoss and their funky psionics, the zerg and their slimy biomechanics, and even other terran factions that created new technologies... like the Tauren Porta Potty.
But this... these, things, they acted so much like regular humans, had many things in plain view that looked human-made, and yet they were not man. And where he came from horses could not talk, they were not very colorful, and they certainly did not have horns or wings. For that matter, he was even more sure that there was no such thing as magic. After a little debate, he sort of haphazardly categorized their claim of “magic” as a different sort of psionic powers or something... he hoped he would be correct. Yet if he was, then that would mean he may have to deal with some protoss if he wanted to escape, or even survive.
He was lost in his thinking for a minute, and didn’t even notice the yellow and pink one approach him. When he did he began to back up more, shuffling slowly and quietly to the furthest part of the room. It continued to approach him, a look of curiosity displayed on its face.
That was another thing, how could it tell the expressions it was giving? Their bodies were of horses yet their faces were so... human-like. It was so alien to him, probably much like the alien they pegged him to be. Was he truly on another world?
The conversation with the group of horses on the other end of the room faded from his ears as he focus on the yellow one in front of him, still coming closer as he retreated backwards. Without noticing it his back leg bumped into something, causing an audible creek in the wooden furniture behind him. He froze his body and cursed silently, berating himself for being so stupid as to not inspect his surroundings. He is a ghost, a super soldier meant for stealth and precision. If he was ever discovered to have slipped up and made such a horribly amateur mistake, it could cost him his job.
He looked around, noticing the desk he bumped into and the wall he was almost up against. He then looked back at the horse, noticing its interest in him. When a ghost cloaks, their suits simply bend the light around their figure, allowing for them have be almost completely unseeable. Even so, the light refraction does cause some distortion, and to a keen eye it can be picked out. Those things have seen the ghost, they had to have, or else he would still be out with his ship somewhere, wherever it was. They knew what he looked like, and they knew he was armed, but perhaps they didn’t fully understand him, like he didn’t understand them.
The ghost noticed it look down at his legs, and then work her vision back up to where his head and face. He stared into its big blue eyes it had, noticing her tilt her head as it continued to stare. There were a lot of words he could use to describe it, an every growing collection of phrases that could fit the situation, but only one could come to mind. One single word, nay, one single sound was all that he could manage to process as he gazed upon the little pony in front of him.
‘D’aww...’
Truly, only the most villainous creatures of all the galaxy would use the powers of cuteness to such a high degree. But with his twisted mind and conditioned pattern of thinking, another thought came to focus, a much more cynical one than the situation called for. He had his rifle, and if any of the things decided to try to hurt him he was sure he could take them out quickly. He’s bigger than them, stronger, and well armored. The horses are not, and therefore he is superior to them.
“Invisible,” it whispered suddenly, just barely loud enough for him to hear.
That was it, she knew there was something standing where he was, and perhaps that it was indeed him, the being they thought to have teleported away. He knew he would be discovered at the rate things were going, so he decided to put his mean little idea to work. He lets his cloak fade just slightly around his face, letting the glow from his goggles become visible. That was when he noticed the yellow thing blink and focus on his eyes, telling him his trick worked. He is about to start uncloaking further when a voice spoke to her, catching her attention away from him. He fully cloaked again by instinct, his eyes hiding back behind the warped field of light.
“Hey Fluttershy, what are ya doin over there? Checking out Twilight’s chemistry set or something?”
“Oh, no, I was just, um... I uh, I don’t know, uh,”
“C’mon Fluttershy, we got more important things to do than look through some dusty old test tubes or something.”
‘Fluttershy.’ The ghost had its name, and judging by how ridiculously it was worded, he came to the conclusion that perhaps the creature was indeed shy. And if it was shy, perhaps he could have even more cruel fun with it.
He crouched down to her level while she was still looking away, looking straight at her face. He noticed it starting to turn around, and perhaps even walk away, which would spoil such a great opportunity. His cloak began to dissipate by his own will as he cleared his throat, trying to get ‘Fluttershy’s’ attention. It worked, and as he was mid-way done with the decloaking process, she looked right back into his eyes.
The ghost is a man who simply wants to get things done, to be seen as a useful tool to those he worked for. If he was usefull, and knew that his superiors could count on him to get the job done, then he was satisfied. The feeling of satisfaction is the one thing in the world he desired most, the one thing he wanted to continue above all else. As long as he was satisfied, the world was right. And right then, right when they made eye-to-goggles contact, he could feel the creeping sensation of satisfaction envelop his body.
And right then, right in the apex of the ensuing silence that held at that moment, he decided on having just a bit more fun. He is a ghost after all, and there is one thing ghosts are known for doing best, one thing they have been notorious for since their imagining thousands of years ago. The one thing he mimicked at that exact moment in time.
“...Boo.”
Indeed, what could go wrong with just having a bit of fun?
