> Resistance: Remain Human
>  by Hurgusburgus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is James Willoughby. At least, it was, but I still like to think of myself as possessing a human mind, conscience and emotions.
My story isn’t a happy one. The Chimera made sure of that.

I was a soldier of the British Resistance, posted at Eastern Command. Just a simple corporal. I’d seen my fair share of combat, of course. Some of it was skirmishes against Cloven; most of it was just tooth and nail fights against the Chimera. The Hybrids are a vicious enemy. Their weapons and equipment is far superior to ours. And yet we still fought. We had no choice, really. After the Yanks screwed up in York, getting most of the twelve thousand men and expensive equipment destroyed, we were up against even greater odds. It was the fault of the damned Cloven, though. They led the Chimera to York.
We knew we were most likely to die. And we accepted that. Anything was better than Grimsby.

One day, I died. Eastern Command fell. I was reborn, but not the way I’d have liked to.
I was a Hybrid. A bloody Hybrid. Of course, at the time, I wasn’t aware of that. My consciousness had been banished to the farthest recesses of my mind. I was a pawn of the Angels, killing my own former brothers in arms.

Then, salvation. Weeks later, when Yanks had attempted to land in York, I was freed from the Angel’s grasp. I was confused at first, naturally, but then horror overtook me as I took in the stock of situation.
I was a Hybrid. My hands were splattered with blood. I had just killed a man.

British.

Friend.

I looked around, hearing the other Hybrids mutter something in Chimeran. I cared not. I felt anger seize me, the likes of which I’d never felt before.

I turned on them, blasting the damned beasts apart with my Bullseye. When the clip ran dry, I used my fangs, tearing out their throats, murdering every single goddamned one of them. Pausing only to relieve them of their ammo and other supplies, I set off in the wilderness, with no real destination in front of me. Why did I leave? I have no answer to that. I guess I wanted to find somewhere I could rest and come to grips with my situation.

That’s how I found Fred and the others.

I was walking through the empty streets of some quaint little hamlet that remained relatively untouched. Sure, some houses were litter-strewn wrecks, but it was empty. I had been hungry for some time, having eaten nothing but rats that still seemed to teem everywhere. I was wandering through the derelict houses, searching for some foodstuffs, when I saw the smoke.

I wasn’t alone.

I headed over there, cautiously, of course. I peered curiously over the lip of a broken window and was treated to a sight I’ll never forget.

A Titan. A bloody Titan, sitting in front of a fireplace, sipping nonchalantly from a tiny tea cup like he didn’t have a worry in the world. I would’ve dropped on the spot and laughed until kingdom come, but it was a Titan after all, so I kept quiet, deciding whether to make my presence know or slink away quietly.
The decision was made for me when a Leaper skittered from… somewhere and leapt straight in my face, screeching like Devil himself was on his back.
It reared its head, regarding me with its glowing yellow eyes. Then I heard the Titan stand up.

“Easy, there, Snaggletooth! Did I not tell you about proper manners?”
A Titan. Lecturing a Leaper on nice behaviour. That was the last straw. I started laughing, but my Chimeran physique meant it came out more like a hoarse roar.
“Hello there, old boy! I’m terribly sorry about Snaggletooth here. He loves to leap in other’s faces. It’s like he’s never heard of personal space!”
My not-really-laughter doubled, as the skittish little beast leapt away, climbing atop the Titan’s shoulder, giving me the evil eye from its new vantage point.
Once I was lucid enough to stand up, I was reminded of the Titan still standing there, eyeing me curiously.
“You alright, mate? I trust Snag didn’t bite your face off? He does that sometimes.”
“No, he didn’t. You can talk.” The Titan nodded.
“I can. Oh, where are my manners? My name’s Fred.”

Fred.

Fred the Titan.

Bloody hell.

I felt like I’d break a rib or two from the laughter I was holding back, but I nodded in response.
“I’m James. Nice to meet you.” Fred grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously, nearly tearing said limb off.
“Well met! Would you join me for a cuppa?”
“Uh… Sure.” Snaggletooth chattered something, leaping away.
“Splendid! I say, you look famished! When is the last time you ate something?”
“Dunno. Had to eat rats.” Fred herded me inside the house, handing me some ham and bread. I wolfed those down, relishing the taste of actual food.
“So, tell me, what brings you here?” I shrugged, biting off another chunk of ham.
“I was just wandering around. Needed to find some food. Found this town.”
“Ah. Me too. One day, I simply found myself in this body. I guess it was the same to you, then?”
“Yeah. Well, thanks for the food, Fred. I’ll be going then.”
“Steady on, mate! We should stick together!” Fred stood up, sticking his head through the ceiling.
“Ow! Sorry, mate! But why do you want to wander off on your own? You’ll get yourself killed! Besides, I haven’t had anyone to talk to in ages! What do you say?” His hopeful rumble of a voice floated through the hole in the ceiling and I pondered on the decision. While we would definitely draw attention, I too, was desperate for someone to talk to, for some company.
“Well, I guess it can’t hurt.”
“SPLENDID! Let me gather my things, then, and we can set off immediately.” Snaggletooth was cavorting, running in circles, a dead rat in his teeth.

I actually felt happy that I’d found Fred. He always seemed to be in high spirits, chatting amiably about something completely unrelated.

Next, we met Tag.
He’d been stalking us for a while, the way Howlers do. He got in a scrap with Snaggletooth. He got off lucky. I’ve seen Snag kill a Widowmaker on his own. Hands down the most terrifying thing I ever saw. I took care of the wounded Howler, patching him up. He ran off some time later, but came back. Unwittingly, I had gained another companion. Tag had a good nose for finding useful food and was overall a much-better alternative to having Snaggletooth leap in your face now and then.

That brings me to Jennifer.

Me, Fred, Tag and Snag were walking through an abandoned farm, when Snag ran off somewhere. I looked at Fred questioningly.
“Probably smelled something tasty.”
“Then why didn’t Tag run off, too?”
“Hmmm. I’d say Snag found something Tag didn’t.”
Moments later, we heard Snag screech and a roar.
“We have company, Fred.” As if on cue, a Steelhead ran out from a shed, arms flailing, Snag firmly entrenched on its shoulders. The diminutive Chimeran beast pushed off, leaping away, pushing the Steelhead face first in dirt, before crawling up Fred’s leg, settling down in the crook of his shoulder, staring at the Steelhead that was getting up right now.
“Christ in a handbasket…” The Chimera muttered disbelievingly, staring at us. I waved lamely.
“Uh… hi.” Fred followed suit, but was more enthusiastic about it.
“Hello, there! Nice to meet you! I’m Fred!” The dumbstruck Steelhead gaped wordlessly at us for a few moments, before speaking.
“I, uh… I’m Jennifer.” I spoke up as well.
“Name’s James. Hah, that rhymed.” I looked at the wary Steelhead. Though there were little to no traces remaining of her human form, she had distinctive female traits. Her arms and body were more slender than that of other Chimera. Even her voice was higher-pitched and softer, compared to mine or Fred’s. She stood there, fidgeting with her helmet for a while, before turning to Fred.
“So, what’s up with that pet Leaper of yours?”
“Oh, that’s Snaggletooth.” Said beast was glaring at her balefully. Tag bounded up to her, sniffing her palm.
“Tag seems to like you.” I chuckled as softly as I could.
“Oh… Well. Nice.” She seemed to be lost for words.
“So, is there anything of use in this place?” She shook her head.
“No. I was only taking a nap here. There is a brook nearby, though.” She entered the shed, coming out moments later, carrying the Steelheads’ trademark Auger rifle.
“Could I, uh, join you, perhaps? I’ve been alone for so bloody long it’s driving me insane.” I shrugged.
“Welcome to this bunch of misfits, Jen.” I clapped her on the shoulder. Fred, as always, was more enthusiastic.
“Jolly good! The more, the merrier!”

As we continued on our mostly-aimless wandering, Jen established herself as an excellent pathfinder. We kept heading southwards, for some reason. We had to keep hidden during most days, since we would come across more and more Chimeran patrols.

That’s how we found Ted.

Now, I’ve seen my fair share of Slipskulls. Jittery sods, the lot of them, but Ted was like that to the nth power.
I and Tag were scouting out a safe path that would steer us clear of any roving Chimeran patrols, when we heard someone muttering. Curious, we stealthily crept forwards, eventually finding a lone Slipskull bouncing around the trees, mumbling nonsense. I shouted to get his attention.
“Hey! Over here! Mate! Calm down!”
“Huh? Oh, goody! I’m not insane after all!” He leapt again, landing in front of me. Tag growled, but remained still, instead silently inspecting the restless Slipskull.
“So… you alright, mate?”
“I think so, but not really sure! Iiiieeaarrrrr…” He growled strangely.
“Do you have a name, at least?”
“Ted! I’m Ted! Now, mate, what’s yours?”
“James.”
“James! Right, nice to actually meet someone who doesn’t try to shoot me for a change! Very very very very very nice!” He was very jittery, occasionally glancing around, but seemed sane enough, if not touched in the head. I brought him back to our makeshift camp, where he went through our impromptu inauguration (Snaggletooth leaping in his face). Ted took to Tag quite strongly, in due time. Brother from another mother, he always said.

Some time later, we heard that the Americans had joined with our own forces and were staging an all-out assault on the London Tower. We decided we’d been hiding for too long and chose to join the attack.

We made it inside the tower, aiding the British and Americans wherever we could. The radio chatter was full of our exploits. We fought on, getting deeper inside the tower, trying to clear a path to the reactor core.

Jennifer looked up at me, splattered with Chimeran blood. She had just bitten out a Hardfang’s throat, relieving it of the Arc Charger it wielded moments earlier.
“Well, that was fun, James, wouldn't you say so?” She chuckled, dourly. I tried to come up with a witty answer, when the world dissolved into light and noise.

I had a good idea what had happened. They had destroyed the reactor. The assault had succeeded. We were victorious.
The thing is, I shouldn’t be alive. No one, human or Chimeran, should have survived that explosion. And neither should have Fred, Jen, Ted, Snag or Tag.

So what in the flying blazes am I doing in a world inhabited by pastel-coloured ponies?

God, you are a sadistic bastard.
> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing I heard was sniffing.

Shoo. Whatever you are.
I mumbled drowsily. Hell’s blazes, I was tired. I heard muffled voices. Who was that?

Jen?

I forced my eyes open, all six of them. All I saw was a bunch of colourful blobs. Why was my vision so blurry? After a few moments, some of my hearing returned and I heard a worried voice.
“What is that thing?”
Now I’m sure that’s not Jen. Voice too soft. My muscles scream in protest as I try to stand up.
“Watch out, Twilight, it’s standing up!”
Who was Twilight? Ow, my head. My poor, poor head. It felt like one of my fangs was a bit loose in its socket. Never mind. It’ll grow back in.

As my sense of balance returned, my eyes cleared as well. First thing I saw was ponies.

Ponies. Colourful ponies.

Was this hell?

I shook my head, feeling my wits return. I had to find the others. Then I remembered that I wasn’t alone here. The ponies stared at me fearfully. I knew I was quite a sight. Chimera were meant to be intimidating.
We kept staring at each other, before one of them squeaked fearfully.
“H-hello?”

They could speak. What sort of fresh hell was this?
I paused for a moment before answering.
“Uh… Hey.” God, that was even lamer when we met Jen. The moment of awkward silence kept lasting, just as an all-too familiar screech reached my ears.
“…skreeeeeee…”
“…eeeyaaaaaaaaahh…” Another voice joined. Unfamiliar. Moments later, a bright white pony ran past us, Snaggletooth perched upon its back.
“Oh, boy.” I mutter frustatedly.
“Skreeeeeeee!”
“GET THIS THING OFF ME!” The pony shrieked, bouncing around, but failing to dislodge the Leaper from its body. She’s a mare, if my memory serves me right.
“Snaggletooth! Get off her! Where’s Fred?” Said Leaper finally gave up his rodeo ride, skittering across the ground, looking at me quizzically. I guess he doesn’t know where the affable Titan is.
The white pony shudders like she’s sick.
“What is that disgusting beast?” She shrieks and I cringe at the shrill tone in her voice.
“Snaggletooth might do that again. He loves invading other’s personal space.” My voice didn’t really help. It was rather intimidating-sounding. The ponies shrank back in fear.

“ARRRRARARAARARARARARARARARARARRR!” I nearly flinched as Ted landed in front of me.
“Jimmy, my boy! Finally found ya, mate! I heard Snag! Where-“The Leaper in question leapt in his face immediately.
“Bloody hell!” The jittery Slipskull howled, trying to pry the Leaper from his chest.

Errrrooooooooooouuuwwww.

I’d recognise that howl anywhere. Tag was somewhere near. I whistled sharply, and was rewarded with another howl, nearer this time. A couple of minutes later, just as Ted had detached Snag from himself; I saw the Howler running towards us, Jennifer in tow, shouting something I couldn’t understand. Tag ran up to me, panting, but seemed happy enough. Jen joined us a couple of minutes later, bent over and panting from exhaustion.
“Tag… He… he got half the town following us, James. Saw Fred, told him to meet us here. Where the hell are we, anyways?” Right at that moment, the ponies interjected, at least the purple one.
“Y-you’re in Equestria.” I turned to her, frowning.
“And where, pray tell, is that?”
“I-“She was interrupted as the last member of our group joined us, in high spirits, as always.
“James, nice to see you! Good day, Jennifer! Ted, how’s everything?” The ponies were terrified, to say the least, scared witless by the Titan’s size.
“Oh, and who are these… ponies? Oh, I almost forgot! My name’s Fred!” Fred near-shouted affably, as Snaggletooth clambered up his arm. The white pony was glaring at him, albeit ineffectively. The purple one took initiative again.
“My name is Twilight Sparkle. These are my friends.” She gestured to other ponies, who introduced themselves, albeit hesitantly.
“Rarity.”
“Ah’m Applejack.”
“I’m Rainbow Dash.”
“Pinkie Pie!”
“F-Fluttershy…”
Fred grinned a big, happy, toothy grin.
“Nice to meet you all! Now, let me introduce my friends!” He pointed at me.
“This here is James…”
“Hey.” I muttered.
“…Jennifer…”
“G’day.” The Steelhead simply nodded.
“…Ted…”
“’Ello!” The skittish Slipskull waved.
“…And these here are Snaggletooth and Tag.” Fred pointed at the Leaper and Howler, respectively.
“Okay, now that that’s over with, we need to find a way back to London. How did we get here in the first place? Last I remember was the reactor exploding. I hope that did the trick.” I raised my voice slightly, when someone else joined our happy little conversation.
“Twilight Sparkle, get your friends away from those beasts! Now!”
That sounded like trouble.
A tall, white pony flew down from the sky, landing in front of the smaller ones, glaring at us.

Yep. Definitely trouble.

I reached for the Mk II Bullseye that was strapped on my back. Jen readied her Auger. Ted crouched, wielding his Reaper carbines. Snag prepared to leap in the pony’s face. Tag was eyeing the pony the way one would eye a meal after starving for a month in Sahara.
Fred was the only one who didn’t look like fighting.
“Now, there! All of you calm down, immediately!” He thundered, standing up to his full height. He distracted the big white pony long enough for Ted to grab a fistful of sand and throw it at said pony, blinding it for the time being.
“LEG IT, MATE!” He howled, springing away like a grasshopper, with Snag following suit. I followed him, and so did Jen. We ran through the garishly-painted town, listening to Ted’s instructions as he led us out of the settlement.
“Ted! Where’re we heading?” Jen shouted.
“I see a forest right ahead, Jen!” The Slipskull responded, jumping across another house.
A forest? Sounded good. We could hide there.

My train of thoughts was interrupted by a bright beam narrowly missing Jen. The Steelhead snarled, but kept running. I turned around, letting off a burst from my Bullseye at the pursuing pony. The Chimeran sub-machine gun roared, sending a hail of projectiles off. I didn’t linger around, though, instead rejoining Jen in our mad dash. Tag was right behind us, Snag perched upon his shoulders. Fred was nowhere to be seen, which was somewhat worrying, but he could take care of himself. Once again, my train of thoughts was rudely interrupted by the pony. She somehow appeared right in from of me, saying something I didn’t hear. Needless to say, I was furious. Forgetting all of my civility, I leapt at the pony, fangs bared, claws outstretched, and a rage-filled roar rising from my throat. I note the fear and surprise in its magenta eyes, just as my fingers curl around its neck and we crash to the ground.
I overpower the pony quickly, pressing its neck and head to ground, out of the reach of its flailing legs. I was swept up by the adrenaline high, hearts racing, as I lowered my jaws to the pony’s neck, preparing to sink my fangs in its flesh.
“James! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Jen.

Angry.

I was brought back to the reality by Jen’s harsh shout. I looked at the pony, who was a female, I noted, now that I had a clearer mind. She had stopped struggling, instead panting, gazing at me, her wide eyes filled with terror. My teeth were inches away from her neck. The feral me was growling, snuffling inside my mind, goading me to tear into the sweet, soft flesh and have a real feast, but I didn’t listen to it.

I almost became what I avoided like plague. A mindless beast, living only to kill. A Chimera.
Albeit reluctantly, I let go and stand up, following Jen to the forest, leaving the quivering mare alone.

As soon as we were sufficiently deep inside the cover of the forest, Jen punches me, sending me to the ground.

Ow.

“What the hell, James? Didn’t we agree not to kill anything that isn’t Chimera? We’re better than that!” Irritated, angry at myself, I have no real answer to respond to her with.
“Leave me alone, Jen. I feel bad enough already as it is.” I pick myself up, resuming my walk, but Jen isn’t having any of it. She grabs me by my shoulders, shaking me furiously.
“You listen here! You try anything like that again; I’ll tear your throat out myself. Got it?” I just snarl and shake her off, following Ted, who has just found a cave. We wander inside. Fred breaks the uncomfortable silence.
“Well, this is a nice find, wouldn’t you say so? We can shelter here.” He turned to me, a worried expression on his face, as much as his Chimeran physique allowed to show.
“Look, James, my friend, I don’t want to pry, but I have to ask. What happened to you back there?”
“I nearly lost it, didn’t I?”
“You nearly bit her head off, James. I know that you are fighting your own nature. It’s not easy to keep yourself sane. I understand what you went through.” He laid a reassuring slab of a hand on my shoulder, nearly breaking my back.
“Thanks.”
“That’s what I’m here for, old boy. Now, we should get a fire started, no?” He wandered outside the cave, starting to tear trees out of ground, snapping them in two, piling them in front of the cave. He set them alight by removing one of his heat stacks and using its heat to get the timber to catch fire. He hummed satisfiedly, reattaching the heat stack, sitting down as the fire crackled. Tag showed up from nowhere, dragging a dead boar with him. I helped Fred gut it and roast it on the fire. The feast helped lift our spirits somewhat. Snaggletooth was cavorting through the boar’s carcass. Tag was chewing thoughtfully on a rib. Fred was checking his belongings, in the Crazy Bag of Holding he lugged with him. Ted seemed more calm than ever, picking at his fangs. Jen had taken off her helmet, tinkering with it absent-mindedly. As for me, well… I kept to myself, trying not to dwell on the fact that I almost murdered someone innocent. I wasn’t all that successful at that.
“Okay, you guys. I’m going to have some sleep.” Jen sighed, standing up and entered the cave. I stood up, too, hefting my Bullseye.
“I’ll keep watch. Everyone else, turn in for the night.” I clambered up a tree, where I was sufficiently concealed. Ted nodded happily.
“A’ight, mate! Thanks a bunch, for the dinner, Tag!” The Howler in question simply grumbled quietly, curling up in front of the fire, falling asleep fast. Ted shrugged and also disappeared in the cave, followed shortly by Fred, Snaggletooth in tow. I settled against the tree trunk, keeping an eye out for any trouble.

Ponyville

“Are you sure you’re okay, Princess? You look really shaken.” Twilight asked worriedly.
“I’m quite alright, Twilight. It’s just that I don’t understand why that beast spared me. It could’ve killed me right there and then, but it ran away instead. Do they have names, Twilight? Did you speak with them?”
“Well, yeah, we did. The big one’s named Fred. There were some kind of freaky animal things as well, but I can’t remember their names. The others were named James, Jen and Ted. That’s all I remember before things went haywire.”
“And now they’re hiding in the Everfree Forest. We need a plan for dealing with them, but we must be careful. I fear we may yet have to fight them. I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slowly crawled ahead, careful not to step on a twig or a branch, the unsuspecting hog noisily munching away at something. I saw a glimpse of Tag moving to flank the hog.

Snap.

The hog instantly darted, and I wasted no time to leap after it, with Tag right at my side. I tripped at one moment, but managed to regain my footing, even though I nearly broke my ankle, but I hardly felt the pain, pumped up by adrenaline as I was.
We chased the squealing animal, slowly gaining up on it. The trees slowly grew sparser, and moments later, we were out of the forest. The hog was tiring, too, something that didn’t bother me and Tag. Perks of being a Chimera.
Tag was already snapping at its heels, and got lucky. He bit off the foot off the hog. A squeal of pain pierced the air and I leaped forward, sinking my fangs in the hog’s neck. The squeal turned in a gurgle and I had to fight to retain my grip as the animal tossed its not-inconsiderable bulk around and I felt warm blood on my tongue. Eventually, though, its thrashing died down, and I was able to let go. I flexed my jaw, satisfied I didn’t snap off any of my teeth. Oh, the taste of sweet, sweet blood. Tag bounded up to me and we grabbed the dead animal, dragging it back in the forest. Fred would smoke the meat, ensuring it didn’t spoil.
Just before we were back in the cover of trees, I spotted a butter-yellow pony watching us. I knew her. Flutter-something, was it? I glared at her for a moment, before continuing on my trek.

The small basket tumbled out of Fluttershy’s grasp as she saw the two beasts overpower and drag away the hog. Tears filled her eyes at the act of violence she’d just witnessed. She didn’t know which was worse, the poor animal’s death or the beast’s savage stare. Galled to the core of her being, she immediately hurried to inform Twilight.

Jennifer raised her head from my Bullseye she was tinkering with. She was still pretty ticked with me, but agreed to do maintenance on our weapons. The thing only few know is that Chimeran weapons recharge themselves. The energy clips can be recharged, too. Simply keep them near a source of heat and they’ll be fine as new in a couple of hours.

Fred waddled over to me, a toothy smile on his face.
“Hello, there, James! Good hunt, eh?”
“It was. Hurt my ankle a bit, but the regenerative factor kicked in already.” Fred picked the dead hog up like it weighed nothing, picking a small sword from his bag. Where he found it, I’ve no idea, but he’s somewhat of an artist with it. He doesn’t hurry, instead calmly and efficiently dissecting the hog, hanging the pieces of meat above the fire he has going in the back of the cave. He had created an impromptu chimney from several tree trunks he’d patiently hollowed out and joined together; using animal hides for the corner bits. Snaggletooth was watching over the meat, screeching at anyone who would dare approach the fireplace.
Ted approached me, doing the nervous hand-wash.
“Hey, Ted. Something on your mind, man?”
“Er, yes. I was wond’rin’ when we’s going back to London, Jimmy.”
“To be honest, I’ve no idea. For starters, I don’t even know how we got here. I’d say we’re stuck here, at least for the time being.”
“Oh, mate! How did this happen to us?”
“You tell me.” I turned away, heading over to Jen. She looked up from the Bullseye in her lap.
“James.”
“Jen. Everything fine?”
“The gun’s fine. I tweaked the cells a bit. They were leaking energy. Not any more.” She handed the rifle back to me.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” I turned to leave, when she grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip.
“I wasn’t kidding about what I said. You better remember that.”
“I will.” She lets go, and I restrain from rubbing my elbow.
“Good.”

We don’t talk much nowadays. It’s been what, a week since we found ourselves here? Ted’s been keeping track of time, though I don’t really care. It keeps him busy, though, keeps him relatively calm. We don’t get many guests around here, too, only the occasional wild animals. Most of the time, they steer wide of our quaint little cave. If they don’t, well… You get the idea.

I was out looking for more of those strange wolves made out of wood. They made good firewood. Not too dry, and not too wet, just perfect. And most of the time, those things were too dumb to leave us alone, which made things easier for me. As I fiddled absent-mindedly with a small toothpick I’d crafted out of a small bone, I heard a child screaming. Then another one. Without wasting time, I ran towards the commotion. If I didn’t, someone would die.

That and Jen would skin me alive if she found this out, which she would. Without a knife.

“Let’s be Cutie Mark Crusader Cartographers, you said! It’ll be fun, you said! What were you thinking, Scootaloo?” Applebloom squealed, dodging the timberwolf that was snapping at her. The other two Crusaders weren’t faring much better, with Sweetie Belle sporting a nasty-looking gash on her flank, inflicted by a particularly deft timberwolf.
“Girls, this really hurts! Unf!” The small unicorn cried, barely managing to avoid another set of jaws. The wolves had nearly encircled them and they knew it. The three scared fillies pressed against each other, trembling with fear.
“Well, Ah guess this is it, girls. ‘Twas nice t’know ya’ll.” Applebloom muttered sadly and closed her eyes. She’d never get back to meet her family. The closest timberwolf leapt at her, when a blood-chilling roar filled the clearing and the small pony forced her eyes open.

I looked at the pack of the wolves surrounding a trio of small ponies, as the roar faded away. Designating me as the prime threat, the wolves charged at me, but I was more than prepared for that, already blasting them apart with the Bullseye. Blue projectiles tore the fragile beasts apart, scattering splinters everywhere. Those that survived the first onslaught still threw themselves at me and I threw a Hedgehog grenade. It hit the first wolf in the snout and it yelped with pain, bringing the whole pack to a halt, just as the grenade rose from ground, sending a cloud of half-metre spines outwards, pinning the wolves to the surrounding trees and ground. Only a few wounded beasts remained, and I was able to finish them off. Now I had to check on the ponies.

Sweetie Belle stared in shock at the carnage around. No timberwolves remained alive. The tall, bipedal monster was walking towards them, regarding them impassively with its glowing yellow eyes. It knelt down in front of them and she could see its mouth was full of sharp fangs.
“You’re hurt.” Its voice was gravelly and rough and she burst in tears.
“Oh, please don’t eat me! Please!”
“Wasn’t going to. Jen wouldn’t approve. Now, hold still.”
I pulled out one of the small, transparent cylinders of sym-bac I always carried with me, placing the injector nozzle on the pony’s flank, depressing the button on top, flooding a small amount of the regenerative bacteria in the foal’s bloodstream. She gasped, but then looked surprisedly as the wound rapidly closed up, leaving a barely noticeable scar in place.
“That should do it. Anyone else hurt?”
“N-no. Scoots and me are okay.” The yellow-coloured pony muttered fearfully, while the white one inspected the spot where she’d been bitten.
“Wow. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Why’re you out so late? Forest’s dangerous.”
“We got lost hours ago. Can you help us?” The orange one squealed and I sighed internally.
“Very well. Will lead you out of forest. Promise never to come back?” Without waiting for them to answer, I let them to follow me. We’d scouted a part of the forest out some time ago, so I could find the edge of the woods easily.

Granny Smith hugged the distraught Applejack.
“There, now, Applejack. Don’t worry. We’ll find them, you’ll see.”
“B-but Ah’m so scared, Granny Smith! What if timberwolves found ‘em? Or those yellow-eyed things?” The elderly mare sighed worriedly.
“Well, Ah s’pose that’s a possibility. Best not think about that.” Twilight nodded in agreement.
“Fluttershy has asked her animal friends to look out for the Crusaders, Applejack. We’ll find them.” Big Mac walked in at that moment, exhausted.
“No luck so far?”
“Nnope.” The solemn stallion uttered sadly, when a frenzied Rainbow Dash crashed through the half-open door.
“I saw them! They’re heading this way! And one of those things is with them!”

The one named Applebloom gave me directions to her family farm. Better than going to the town, I guess. We were just inside the fence when the house’s front door burst open and a garish collection of ponies ran out, but ground to a halt upon seeing me. We stared at each other for a few moments.
“You take care of them. Forest’s not safe.” With that, I turned around, leaving for the forest.
“Wait!” I turned around, seeing an orange mare wearing a cowboy’s hat waving at me.
“Uh… Thanks for saving my lil’ sister and her friends. Ah’m in yer debt.” I really didn’t have a decent answer to grace her with, so I turned back around, leaving for the forest.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Applebloom!” Applejack muttered, hugging her small sister tightly.
“Ah won’t, AJ. Ah promise. We learned our lesson, didn’t we, girls?” She looked at Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who nodded in response.
“We did. And that thing saved us, too.” Twilight looked at the small unicorn.
“It did? What was its name? Oh, right. James! It would seem that he and the others aren’t as evil as they look. But sadly, Princess isn’t willing to let anypony inside the forest at this time, except for a Royal Guard contingent that is due to leave tomorrow.”
“Well, Ah can certainly vouch for ‘im! He saved my sister an’ her friends! You can’t just ignore that!”  Applejack announced decidedly. Applebloom nodded in agreement.
“Nothing’s decided yet, Applejack! I need to consult with the Princess on this. Things just got a lot more complicated.”

I hauled the fishing lines out of the water, feeling the reassuring weight of a sizeable catch at the end of each of them. Fred would be happy.
Once I’d returned to the cave, taking over the watch from Ted, I settled down comfortable in the tree. My mind was full of swirling thoughts. Maybe the farmponies would put in a good word for us? Anything was possible, I suppose. For now, however, I was content with sitting in the tree, chewing on some wild berries Snag had found. It was surprising, actually. I thought my being a Chimeran Hybrid would restrict me to only meat, but I found myself enjoying the taste of something sweet. Was nice. The quiet forest was also nice.

Could I actually find peace in this land? And could my friends achieve that, too?

Time will show, James. Time will show.
> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

At first she felt pain. Then she wondered who and why had beaten her up so badly, until the helmet strap came undone.

Oh. Right.

London Tower.

What in the blazes had happened there? Did she make it out of there alive? Who was that, fiddling with her backpack?

Water. Someone. Please.

“Mlgaaaa…” She managed to utter. Awful. Not even a drunkard would understand.
“Oh, she’s waking up! Quickly, get me some water, Ted!” A gruff, deep voice reached her. It was like a LAARK to her eardrums, but moments later, she felt the blissful wetness of cold water on her lips.
“Easy there. Don’t hurry. You’ve been out for a while.” The same rumbling voice repeated and she slowly forced her eyes open, and was treated to the sight of a Titan holding a cup to her lips.
“AIEEE-Glglglglglglgllgggg!”
“Oh, bloody hell!” Said Titan cursed, lifting her up and giving her a pat on the back, trying to get her to cough up the water.
*kaff kaff* “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The Titan dropped her on the ground unceremoniously.
“Calm down!” The towering Chimera sighed, rubbing his face.
“Y-y-y-y-you’re a Titan!”
“Nooo, you think?” He shot back.
“H-h-how are you talking?”
“It’s sort of a long story. Now, if you promise not to try and run away, you’ll be fine. Snaggletooth might try to leap in your face, but he does that to everyone. By the way, I’m Fred.” He stuck out his hand.
“Ah… Ah’m Sergeant Alice Bradley. 1st Rangers.” Her small palm almost disappeared in Fred’s huge slab of a limb.
“Nice to meet you, Alice! Now, would you like something to eat?”
“Wait a moment. You said there were others?”
“Aye. James, Jen, Ted, Snag and Tag. And we also found some other Americans along with you.”
“Really?” Alice perked up at that.
“Yep. They’re having lunch outside.”
“Cool! Oh, how long was Ah out?”
“Three days. Snag found you unconscious out in the woods.” They exited the cave and Alice winced in the bright sunlight.

Fred had found some Americans a couple of days back. Of course, being the kind soul he is, he carried them back to the cave. I at least had the foresight to take care of their Folsoms and equipment. It wouldn’t do for someone to freak when waking up and start shooting anything that had more than two eyes. And I’d say Fred wouldn’t take too kindly to Snag getting injured. The skittish Leaper had grown on him. Just then, a chorus of voices snapped me to attention. Fred had emerged outside, the last Yank at his side. Other soldiers rushed over to her, clapping her on back, steering her towards the blazing fireplace. The woman seemed shaken, but fine. I grunted, leaning back against the tree trunk. Well, our merry little group of misfits just go bigger. And merrier. I spotted Jen returning from patrol. She walked up to my tree, looking at me.
“Those damned guards are here again. Should I send Tag?” I shook my head at that.
“No. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.” I stood up, jumping down, ready to go, when Jen grabbed my shoulder.
“Look, James… About my recent behaviour… Sorry.” She sounds sincere, I think.
“It’s okay.” With that, I leave.

Women. How do they work?

The two guardsponies cautiously advanced, casting a horrified glance at the corpse of a manticore long killed.
“Sweet Celestia… How did they kill a manticore?”
“Don’t care! We-we just have to find out where those things are, and then hoof it back to the outpost.”
“I know! Keep quiet! I don’t want to see any other manticores or worse following us just because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“It’s not the animals you should be afraid of.” Six glowing, yellow eyes showed up in front of the two wary ponies and I stepped out from the tree trunk I had been hiding inside, fangs dripping with saliva to scare them senseless.

The roar I let out seconds later was also a nice touch.

Celestia looked around the bustling base they’d constructed inside the Everfree Forest. A call alerted the lookout that the scouts were returning. The two ponies galloped inside the wall and collapsed on the spot, panting and whimpering. A couple of other guards ran over to them.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did you get attacked?”
“…No. Worse…” The other scout shuddered.
“I’m not going back there again. Not for anything…” Celestia walked up to them, worried.
“Can you tell me what exactly happened?”
“W-well, we were just walking past this dead manticore, when that thing just… appeared from nnowhere!”
“Did it say anything?” Celestia leaned closer.
“’It’s not the animals you should be afraid of.’ After that, it roared at us, and, and, well… we ran.” The guardspony hung his head ashamedly.
“You have no need to be ashamed. You did your duty. Commander! Prepare to move out. We shall put an end to this one way or another.” She turned to the armour rack containing her old armour that had been doing nothing but gathering dust for a thousand years. A group of ponies secured the straps of the shining plates together across her body. Her sword, sharpened and polished, rested in its holster.
“And I had hoped it would not come to this.”

Ted settled down in the soft pelt we’d taken from those lion scorpion things, manticores, they were called.
“This is the life, eh, Jimmy, my boy?”
“I thought you were hell-bent on getting back to London.”
“That was then! Now, I’m thinkin’ we could maybe stay here. It’s sorta strange, not getting shot at, eh?” I was about to respond, when I heard a branch snap. Moments later, a pony arrived from nowhere; Snaggletooth firmly entrenched upon its back, as the Leaper had some sort of impromptu rodeo ride.
“GEDDITOFFGEDDITOFF!” The terrified pony squealed, but the Leaper kept at it.
“Geddim, boyo!” Ted cackled. I simply chuckled. One of the Yanks had chosen to accompany me and Ted. He was the only one who had taken the current situation in stride, saying nothing more than ‘Huh’ at our explanation. He was settling down on his tree branch right now, bringing his Fareye up.
“Easy, there, Bill.” I whistled sharply. “Snag! Get over here!” At my voice, the small Chimeran beast leapt away, clambering up our tree moments later.
“Aw, hell, boys… We got trouble.” Bill muttered. I looked where he was pointing.
Dozens of armoured ponies were advancing upon us. And leading them was that damned white mare, also clad in armour.
“Bollocks.” I muttered.
“My thoughts exactly.” Bill whispered back.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll go back to your queer little town and never return!”
Celestia ground to a halt.
“Ted, that’s not exactly diplomatic.”
One of the guardsponies took a step forwards.
“If YOU know what’s good for you, you will surrender immediately!”
“We’re quite happy sitting here if you’d like to sod off, thank you very much! Go away, wankers! Snaggletooth! Sic ‘em, lad!” Celestia noted a small disturbance in the grass and moments later, a small, strange beast landed itself on her back, flailing its tail.
“I take it you are Snaggletooth. Could you bring your master to me?” The yellow-eyed beast eyed her curiously, undoubtedly surprised that she was unafraid of him. What he didn’t know was that Celestia barely restrained from bucking him off her back.
“Skree.”
“Princess, what are you-“One of the ponies tried to spear the beast, but she interrupted him.
“There is no need for that.” She patted the chattering beast with her hoof.
“Bloody heck, Jimmy, did you see that? She just- Well, I’m all outta tricks.” Ted sighed. Just then, Snaggletooth showed up from nowhere (again), leaping in Ted’s face. Together, they fell from the tree, with Ted howling in a rather pissed-off manner.

Celestia watched, slightly amused, at the scene unfolding near the tree.
“Excuse me! Is James there? Could I speak with him?” She raised her voice, letting it echo around the small clearing.
Up in the tree, I tensed up. How did she know my-Oh. Right. I’d told my name to that purple pony some time ago right before everything went down the crapper. I nodded to Bill, who kept the white mare in his crosshairs. Just to be sure.
I jumped down from the tree, warily holding my Bullseye. I noticed Ted running off towards our cave, to warn the others, probably. Snag was trying to leap on his back again.
“Don’t worry, pardner. I gotcha covered.” Bill reassured me. I nodded back to him, strapping the Bullseye to my back, walking slowly towards the ponies. I came to a halt five meters away from the white mare. We eyed each other for a moment – my fierce, yellow-eyed glare versus her calm, serene magenta gaze.
“What do you want?” I know that’s blunt, but I don’t care.
“I wish to talk.” She simply responds.
“Why? You nearly became my lunch.” She narrows her eyes for a moment before answering.
“Twilight Sparkle told me that you saved three lost fillies from certain death. And now, I truly do not know what to do with you and your companions. There is much conflict in my mind.”
“Leave us alone, maybe? We’re dangerous. You don’t want to get involved with us.”
“And yet you are killing animals that reside here. For what purpose?” The white mare took a more forward approach.
“Food.” My answer was simple.
“That’s it? You murder innocent wildlife just to satisfy your own hunger?” Well, I wasn’t having any of that self-righteous crap.
“Don’t you dare judge me or my friends. You haven’t the slightest idea what we have been forced to endure.” I was suddenly right in front of her, growling angrily. She took an involuntary step back, uncertain fear in her eyes.
“We were human once. And then we were killed, twisted by the Chimera to serve their campaign of genocide against humanity. You have no idea how it feels to be forced to live with this body, this twisted husk of what I was.”
The feral me made his bombastic appearance once more, egging me on to eat the mare, who was rather horrified right now. I pushed the ghost personality away.
“Get away from here. Never come back.” With that, I left, but one of the ponies must have heard me wrong, and tried to pounce on me. I knocked him to the forest ground with a punch.
“Idiots.” I snarled at the mare, passing the tree. Bill threw the manticore’s hide down to me, joining me on the way back to the cave.

“Well, that went just perfect.” He muttered quietly, lighting a cigarette, passing one to me.
“This place is too peaceful and innocent, barring this forest, actually. We shouldn’t wander too far away, either deeper in the forest or out of it.” I responded.
“I hear that.” He answers slowly, his sniper rifle on his back. We keep heading down the well-trodden path. Fred had cleared it out using his bulk.
“Y’still sure we can’t come to some sort of an agreement with them?”
“Dunno, mate. I really don’t.” I shook my head, drawing on the cig in wedged between my teeth.
Fffffft.
A cloud of smoke rolled forwards from my mouth. We didn’t say anything for the rest of our trip.

Fred looked up to us just as we entered the light of the crackling bonfire.
“Hello, there, James, Bill! How did it go down?” 

Straight to the point, eh, Fred?

“Not too good. Told them to stay away. Not sure if they’ll listen, though. I’m running out of scary things to say.” That got a chuckle out of him.
“I guess that’s true. Well, never mind that. Are you feeling up for the dinner?” He gestured to the roasting slices of hog. That made my mouth water.
“Anything else?” Bill piped up.
“Some wild fruits and berries. Fish. And peppermint tea. Some bread from my own stores.” He brandished a large pot that had steam rising from it.
“Neato.” The black-skinned American whistled, just as everyone else showed up – Alice, Jen, Ted, Snag, Tag, and the two other Americans, Jack and Will. Quietly, we sat down, some of us having a quiet conversation or two, but mostly we kept to ourselves.

We finished our dinner half an hour later. The Yanks kept thanking Fred for taking care of them and for the delicious meal he’d made.
“Ah, it’s nothing, my good friends.” He smiled his trademark grin.

Then, a whisper of a blade being unsheathed. And another. More soon follow.

“In the name of Princess Celestia, surrender!”

I SAY AGAIN.

BOLLOCKS.
> Chapter 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, that was the last bleedin’ straw! Who was I dealing with here, a bunch of retards? Angrily, I stood up, snatching my Bullseye. Jen rolled behind a rock, bringing her Auger to bear. Ted unfolded his Reapers. Fred hefted his cannon, albeit unwillingly. The series of sharp click-clacks told me that the Yanks had readied their Folsoms and sole Fareye. I looked around-there! I could see dozens of ponies around the trees, the firelight from our bonfire reflecting off their weapons and armour. I heard the creak of bowstrings as arrows were nocked, the soft clatter of spears as they were readied. Once again, white and mighty took a step forwards.
“I ask you again to surrender peacefully.” I snarled at her.
“And I give you your last bleedin’ chance to sod off!” Fred grunted quietly, nodding slowly.
“I’m not going to enjoy this, but I will do what I must.” Jen joined in.
“You’re not going to lock us up. Just you try. Just you bloody try.” Ted seemed like he was fighting off a seizure. The Yank, Alice, scowled at the ponies.
“Ah’m sticking with these guys, if ya don’t mind. An’ Ah’d advise y’all to listen to James. Y’better haul ass back to your damn homes while you’re still breathin’.” The red-haired Texan finished her small speech, slipping a grenade up the Folsom’s grenade launcher, eyeing her opponents hatefully. The rest of her squad agreed, yelling ‘hoo-ah!’

Celestia observed the defiant group before sighing, her heart heavy with disappointment. These headstrong beings would not submit, nor had she expected them to. But it had been worth a try.
“Commander. Ready your troops.”
“Yes, my princess!” The tension was almost palpable. Soon, one side would open fire. And the confrontation would be very, very bloody.

“Alice. Take your guys in cover. You’ll be safe from the arrows there.”
“What about you?”
“Don’t worry. We heal easily.” The woman forced a ghost of a smile, but I could see she was tense. Worried.
“Oh, right. Silly me. Y’heard him, fellas. Best we not stay in the clear when the arrows start flyin’.” A muttering of acknowledgements as the Americans hid behind rocks and logs. I reached slowly to my waist, unhitching a Backlash. Quick as a lightning, I press the activation stud and throw the grenade down at my feet. A split-second later, the glowing sphere of light enveloped our group. A moment later, a flurry of arrows hit the sphere, bouncing back to their owners. I could see a couple of ponies receive the arrows in their legs. Others were saved by their armour. The air was pierced by their pained cries.
“CHAAAAAAARGE!” One of the ponies shouted, coming in contact with the sphere moments later. He reared away immediately, braying in pain as smoke curled from his burned foreleg. He howled, limping away, as his comrades watched in horror.

Backlash grenade. A nasty little piece of work.

Of course, spears, arrows, some sort of energy blasts start flying our way, to no effect, of course. The Yanks just keep mocking the ponies, showing their asses to the infuriated warriors, as the missiles fly back to their owners, often wounding them. Unfortunately, the Backlash only lasts a minute. Fortunately, Jen had been fiddling with our equipment since day one. The energy sphere now lasted half a minute longer. Even more fortunately, I had another two Backlashes. As the one in the dirt fizzles out, I heft another one.
“I have two more! Still think it’s a good idea to keep bothering us?” White and mighty is livid, of course. I ponder whether I could stick an Air Fuel grenade to her face. Perhaps she’d like to have her first and last acupuncture? Oh, well. I prepare to throw the Air Fuel grenade when we get an uninvited guest. I hear Fred bellow.
“Hydra!”
A hydra? One of those mythological things? The one that grows its heads back, no matter how many times you cut them off?

Just then, said mythological beast shows up, swallowing a couple of the ponies whole.

I SAY AGAIN.

“BOLLOCKS!” I howled exasperatedly, tossing the incendiary grenade at the beast. It manages to adhere to its back, letting a green cloud of volatile gas out. It bursts in a bright flame moments later. The beast flails about, the smell of burnt flesh hanging thickly in the air. Snaggletooth is already on the job, chewing away at one of the hydra’s neck.

Smart beastie. If you cannot behead it, bleed it dry. Ted leaps forward, joining the brave Leaper. I do too, moments later. Together, we cling to the thrashing beast’s necks.
“James! Try going for the spine!” Ted shouts to me. That’s not a bad idea, actually. I tear at the flesh, ripping muscle and sinew out, soon reaching the long chain of bones. I grab it and rip it out. Immediately, I feel the neck twitch violently, going limp. I leapt across to the next head, noting that Snag had gouged its eyes out. Smart of him.

Celestia watched silently, a sort of morbid fascination taking hold of her. The guardsponies were staring, too.
“Good heavens… They’re crazy. They’re totally nuts but they’re killing it either way!” Other muttered in agreement.

Ted crushed the last spine. The bloodied hydra collapsed slowly. Jen and the Americans were cheering.

Hang on. Didn’t this thing swallow someone? Oh, right. It did.
“Fred! I need a knife! Biggest one you have!”
“Right-o, James!” He brought over a two-handed sword, which I used to carve the hydra’s stomach open. Blood, bile, and coughing ponies spilled out. They shivered on the ground, gagging and wheezing. They might have nightmares for some time, but they’d be fine. Fred returned with some fresh water, handing it to the ponies. Though suspicious, they drank it all the same.

Some distance off, Celestia watched, breathless, as the towering being helped her ponies up. She could literally feel history being made here.

“You sure you’re fine?”
“Y-yes, it’ll be okay.” The shivering mare stuttered.
“You don’t look like it. Would you li-Oh.” Fred stood up, wary, as white and mighty approached us again, stopping in front of me.
“James, could we please talk now?” There is a note of pleading in her soft voice, but I’m not really all that assured by it.
“Why?”
“Even though you are dangerous and violent, as you said yourself, you are not uncaring. You saved my ponies, even though you had no obligation to do so. I acted too rashly when you arrived in Ponyville. I should not have judged you solely by your looks. For that, I am sorry. Let there be peace and understanding between us.” She extended a leg, apparently wishing to give me a handshake. I oblige, even though the feral me isn’t being calm. I see the relief in the mare’s eyes as I grasp her hoof.
“Deal.”
“I don’t think I ever told you my name. I am Princess Celestia.” Fred, of course, being the affable gentlem-er, Chimera he is, does an exaggerated bow. I can tell Celestia’s amused by his display.
“I am Fred. To tell the truth, I would not have enjoyed partaking in this bloodbath.” He waves the rest of our group down, indicating that they should not worry anymore.
“Also, could you bring your wounded here? I believe I can help them with their injuries.” He held up a pair of sym-bac vials.

Half an hour later, the last of the wounded had been healed. Celestia could only shake her head in wonder, though she still felt wary, as did her troops. The ponies milled around the bonfire, muttering quietly, casting nervous glances at the Chimera, who were trying to fill the alicorn in on what had befallen them. Frankly, she was utterly horrified by their tale, hearing the stories of Chimeran violence and their campaign of genocide.

“I expected we’d die when the London Tower went up. Instead, we wake up here. Next thing I know, we’re running for our lives from a vengeful princess.” Jen glared at me sharply.
“But one thing I must know. Why did you hunt the wildlife?”
“I told you. Food. I thought we could only subsist on meat. But turns out we can eat fruit and suchlike, too.” Celestia sighed relievedly.
“That is good news.” I grunt slightly.
“You don’t have to fear anything from us. Sure, Snaggletooth might jump in someone’s face now and then, but we’re not going to eat anyone. If I did, Jen would skin me alive.” Said Steelhead glared at me again, but was interrupted by Fred as the amiable Titan waddled past her, sharing out some bread and biscuits out to the ponies, along with peppermint tea in wooden cups he’d crafted in his free time. He certainly has a lot of it. He gave one cup to Celestia, who smiled, thanking him.

Celestia left with her troops about an hour later, having had a conversation with everyone in the group. Though she did not know how things would turn out in the long run, she did know one thing.

She had certainly misjudged James and his friends.

Twilight gaped in disbelief as Celestia retold the skirmish, even forgetting to take notes this time.
“Princess, if they’re not here to threaten us, why did they stay in the forest?”
“While they have assured me they do not intend to harm us, we are still some time away from fully trusting each other. I would not wish to try and force them to do something that they do not want. That is not a way to ear somepony’s trust.” Twilight sighed.
“I guess. I just hope this isn’t going to bite us in the flank sometime later.” Celestia smiled reassuringly at her student.
“Have no fear, Twilight Sparkle.” Applejack smiled subtly, a plan hatched in her mind already. A way to repay James for saving her little sister.

“Well, James, I think we might get some peace now.” Jen chuckled softly, watching Fred whistle as said Titan was busily sifting through his bag.
“Hear, hear.” Alice joined in, scratching her head, stifling a yawn, but there was no fooling Fred.
“If you’re getting sleepy, you should go to bed, Alice.”
“Naw, naw, Ah’m fine.”
“…” Fred stared at her, clearly not buying it.
“Agh, fine. G’night, y’all.” She mumbled, ambling inside the cave. I climbed in my tree, once more, though I knew that tonight would be quiet.

How did I know that, I hear you ask?

Just a hunch.

But a dead hydra serves as a good warning sign, too.
> Chapter 6
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Applejack closed the lids of her saddlebags, having placed some fresh apples and pies in them. Making sure that no one saw her depart, she snuck away to the Everfree Forest. From what Princess Celestia had told them, there wasn’t really a reason to be afraid of James and the others, right?

Right?

Oh, Ah haven’t really thought this through, have Ah?

I looked in the water, trying to discern if there was anything at the end of the hook. I tugged on the cord slightly. No, nothing yet. Clacking my tongue absent-mindedly, I let it drop back in the water, deciding to see if I can find some fruits or suchlike, though Snag was more adept at that. Unfortunately, said Leaper was off hunting rats and other pests. Of course, Fred recently had the idea to grow our own stuff. The mental image of the hulking Titan trying to be a farmer was now forever burned in my memory. Nice one, Fred. Pessimism aside, it was a good idea. We could clear out a small spot; plough it, fence it off so no beasties could get in. It would take some time, but it was doable. Fred would be able to use his collection of seeds.

Alice looked up as she heard a branch snap.
“Who’s there?” A surprised gasp reached her ears.
“Ah… Uh… Is James here?”
“Well, he’s out doin’ somethin’. Who am Ah talkin’ to?” Applejack entered the small clearing then, a nervous smile on her face.
“Mah name’s Applejack. A while ago, James saved mah lil’ sister an’ her friends. Who’re you?” Alice chuckled softly, walking over to the orange mare, extending her hand to shake.
“Ah’m Alice. Alice Bradley. Nice t’meetcha, Applejack. Ah think Ah like this world already.”
“Well, that’s nice t’know. D’ya know when James’ll be back?”
“Nah. Want to meet my friends, then?”
“Sure. Beats standin’ around and doin’ nothing.” The woman eyed the pony curiously, obviously interested in hearing Texan accent in a completely different world. She led the orange farmpony around their cave, introducing her to the rest of the group. Once that had been done, they waited outside, chatting quietly, taking to each other rather quickly.

“A farm, eh? Ah’ll have t’drop by someday.” Alice grinned, familiar memories flooding her mind.
“Yer more than welcome to do so, Alice.” Applejack assured her. “Be nice to introduce y’all to my family.”
“Well, let’s not be too hasty. James is still bein’ pretty moody. But then again, he’s clammed up tight. Won’t talk to no one about what’s eatin’ him.”
“Oh. Well, anyway, Ah brought some apple pies and fresh apples over. James did save my lil’ sister some time ago an’ Ah can’t let that go unrewarded.” She removed her saddlebags, lifting out the still-warm foodstuffs, handing them to Alice.
“What’s that?” Fred poked his head out from the cave, sniffing loudly.
“Applejack here brought us some pies!”
“…Pies?” Fred seemed to teleport, materialising at their side in a blink of an eye, and immediately swallowed aforementioned foodstuffs whole.
“Whoa! Fred! Those weren’t just fer you!” Applejack called out indignantly, as the Titan munched noisily, a blissful expression on his face.
“Armnarmnarmmunchdelishusmunchmunch…” Fred muttered, finally swallowing and letting loose a loud burp.
“Do forgive me, ladies. I have always had a craving for pies. Could I perhaps have some more?” He looked hopefully at the dumbstruck farmpony.
“Ah… Well… You’d have ta drop by our farm fer that.” Fred looked like a kid in a candy store, a big grin on his face.
“Can we go now? Those pies were simply delicious!” He fidgeted impatiently, making the orange pony chuckle.
“Easy there, big fella. If anypony else wants ta come along, speak up now.” Alice grinned, standing up.
“Count me in, Applejack.” She then turned to the cave, shouting. “Y’guys! We’ll be away for a while, ‘kay?” Several faint answers reached her and she grinned, just as Jen strode up to them, sans her weapons and helmet.
“I’d like to come along, too, if that’s not a problem.”
“Don’t worry, Jen. Let’s go, everypony!”

Sweet Apple Acres

Big Mac paced restlessly, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. He knew exactly where his sister had snuck off to and he berated himself for not realising it faster.

AJ, you better be okay, or somepony’s going to get seriously hurt.

Just then, the mare in question showed up, cantering down the road to the farm and Big Mac allowed himself a small inner smile.
His smile shattered in thousands of tiny terrified pieces when he saw her entourage. The big tall ‘un, the fierce tinheaded ‘un and somepony with a short, red mane were following the orange farmpony.

What have you done, Applejack?

The mismatched group walked up to him, and silence reigned supreme.

“Greetings!” Of course, Fred was the first to speak. He extended his hand to shake. The red-coated stallion stared at him blankly.
“Big Mac, where’s yer manners? Say hi!” Applejack whispered to her dumbstruck brother.
“Uh… Uh… I… Howdy. I’m Big Mac.” He seemed to shake off his surprise, shaking Fred’s hand.
“I’m Fred! Nice to meet you, I say!” He straightened out, letting Jen and Alice introduce themselves. Just then, Granny Smith wandered outside, and promptly ground to a halt upon seeing them.
“Well, Ah’ll be damned! What have you brought home this time, Applejack?” Before the orange pony could answer, Jen interrupted.
“Not friends. Just Fred here has an insatiable craving for apple pies. Thought I’d tag along. Could use a walk.”
“Pies? A big feller like yerself likes pies?” The elderly mare eyed the strangely-timid Titan.
“I do. Seriously, you have no idea.”
Applejack chuckled at that.
“He just up an’ swallowed ‘em whole, Granny!”
“Well, lemme make a deal with ya! If y’help us with some chores around the farm, we’ll bake you some more p-“
“Dealdealdealdealdeal!” Fred had to restrain himself from jumping up and down, making the old mare chuckle.
“Well, aren’t ya an enthusiastic one, an’ no mistake! When can ya start?”
“I’m not busy with anything at the moment, to be honest. So, what can I help with?”
“Well, the applebuck season’s in full swing and we could always use a helping hoof ‘round here. I’ll have Big Mac show you how it’s done.”

Fred was a quick learner, fuelled as he was by his need for apple pies. He would drum his oversized fingers on a tree’s trunk, shaking the apples loose in seconds. Alice and Jen then would pick the fruits up, filling up the baskets and carrying them to the barn. The air echoed with Fred’s contended humming as the Titan wandered around the apple trees, Jen and Alice following him with empty baskets, filling them up once he’d moved on.

Four hours later

Applebloom trotted down the path to her farm, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle following her. Their happy return trip from school was interrupted by seeing Fred’s ponderous bulk move among the trees. Though they knew that there was no reason to be afraid of him, their imagination blew their doubt out of proportion. They ran over to Twilight’s library, who contacted Princess Celestia in turn. Fearing the worst, the alicorn departed immediately. What she saw was beyond her wildest ideas.

Fred happily scarfed down another pie, humming blissfully, failing to notice the white alicorn canter up to him, surprised.
“Fred?” He opened his eyes, waving at her amiably.
“Oh, hello there, princess! Would you like some pie?” He held out one of the aforementioned foodstuffs to the befuddled princess. The proverbial gears in her head crunched noisily.
“I… Um… Sure.” Somewhat hesitantly, she took the pie, biting off a piece.

It was a sight none of the Apple Family would ever forget - Princess Celestia and Fred eating pies. Alice and Jen were hiding behind a tree, with Alice having a fit of giggles, while Jen shook her head defeatedly, feeling a headache coming on.
“Jesus Christ, Fred…”
“What’s wrong, Jen? This is gold! Now Ah’ve seen everything!” The giggling Texan doubled over again.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders returned later, with Twilight and her friends in tow. They, too, were treated to the sight of the rather unlikely pie-eating duo.
Celestia flinched guiltily, mouth covered with crumbs, hearing Twilight call out her name.
“Princess? What is happening here?”
“Oh! Uh, hello, my student. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It would seem Applebloom mistook Fred’s intentions. He was simply helping out around the farm.”
“Well, I did what I had to. For delicious pies!” He thundered victoriously. Granny Smith appeared then, disturbed from her nap by the ruckus. Pretty soon, Applejack and Big Mac followed, looking on in surprise at the group. Fred tried breaking the rather uncomfortable silence by sharing some of his pies. After a while, though, they were all sitting together, eating, chatting amiably. Fred would spin tall tales that would beggar belief, but his storytelling was very enjoyable, if a tad strange.

It was a rather odd farewell Fred said to Celestia. Though she assured him they could come to Ponyville anytime if they needed anything, he declined, saying they’d just scare everyone.
“Well, be assured we will not disturb you. Still, if there’s anything important you need to tell me, don’t hesitate to visit my student. She knows how to contact me.” Fred bowed in response.
“I will keep that in mind, Princess. Well, best I get going before Jen has a fit.” Celestia nodded in response, a bit disappointed to see the affable Titan leave, if she was being honest to herself.

I hummed absentmindedly, wandering to nowhere in particular. Tag and I had bagged another manticore, skinning the beast for furs and meat, seeing as autumn was encroaching. I’d have to get others to help with insulating the cave to some degree. While it’d be cold for the Yanks, I and others wouldn’t suffer. If it was cold enough, we might be able to finally do maintenance on our heat stacks. Jen, of course, being the tech wiz she is, was planning on modifying the stacks and improving their heat dispersion efficiency.
But that was just me trying to distract myself from something more pressing. I was having trouble keeping the Chimeran me reined in. Blasted thing kept roving through my mind, trying to goad me into going on a rampage. Well, balls to that, I say. I didn’t need to bother others with my own troubles. They were mine and mine alone to deal with.

When I arrived back at our humble abode, I was in for a bit of surprise. Fred was eating something cooked, something that made my mouth water, my senses unaccustomed to baked goods. Apple pies.
“Um, Fred?” He flinched, looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“James! Good to see you! Come, join us and have some dinner!” I looked at Jen questioningly, and she shrugged in response.
“It’s sort of a long story, James. Want some pie?”

What had they been up to while I was away?
> Chapter 7
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winter.

Bloody nice weather. Snag in particular was enjoying the snow. Fred had crafted a pair of skis for the Leaper. Why he did that is beyond my understanding, but Snag was ambling around the hills nonetheless on the skis. Tag had chosen to hibernate for some reason and was sleeping in a hollowed-out nest under a tree. The Yanks had caught a nasty case of cold, despite our best efforts at making the cave warmer. They couldn’t stay here any longer. Ted and Jen had gotten rather moody, too. Fred, well… He doesn’t say much nowadays. This cave must be getting to him.

One day, they decided to leave the forest and head into the town. Can't say I blame them for doing that. Bill was on his last legs. But I didn't go with them. My Chimeran me was giving me more trouble with every passing day and I had to fight it every moment. I couldn't sleep, even though I was ready to fall over dead.

"Are you sure, James? The forest's nasty this time of year." Fred looked at me concernedly.
"Don't worry, Fred. I'll be fine. I just need some time alone. You go on. I might drop by sometime." Jen, Ted and others had already assembled, dressed in crudely-fashioned pelts.
“I suppose you can take care of yourself, James. Make sure you don’t burn the cave down, eh?” I chuckled at that.
“No worries, Fred. Someone has to take care of this place while you’re away, right?” He shrugs noncommittally.
“I suppose. Well, best we get going, then.” He waved at me one last time, ushering others with him. I waved back.
“Stay safe, pardner! Achoo!” Bill called to me, pulling the pelt around his shoulders a tad tighter. Others muttered their farewells to me as well.

I looked around, my eyes lazily drifting over the cave walls. For the time being, it was all mine. I was alone with my thoughts. Well, not quite alone. The insidious consciousness in my head was still pestering me. Blasted thing. A low growl built at the back of my throat.

Just go away and die, damn you!

Twilight raised her head, hearing somepony knocking on the library’s door. When she went to open it, she got the surprise of her life. The mishmash group of humans and Chimera were standing there. Fred was kneeling down, waving at her amiably.
“Hello, Twilight Sparkle! Nice to meet you again.”
“F-Fred? What happened? Is something wrong?”
“Well, our American friends have gotten rather ill from the cold. We can’t stay at the cave, for the time being, at least. And that place’s getting rather oppressive, even if I say so myself. Could you help us out?”
“I-I can’t take all of you in here. There’s not enough room. But I’m sure that Applejack could help. The Apple Family have an empty barn that they aren't using, seeing as it’s winter.” Alice muttered happily at that.
“Anything’s better’n a damned cave.” She sniffed noisily.

Bill muttered a quiet thanks, sipping from the steaming mug in his hands. Applejack smiled at him, assuring him that it was nothing, and then turned to Jen.
“So, James stayed behind?”
“Aye, that he did. He’s been in a troubled mood ever since we arrived. And he doesn’t ever tell what’s bothering him.” Fred’s voice floated through the half-open window.
“Frankly, I’m rather unnerved. I mean, I had my own troubles accepting my current body. I had problems controlling myself, but James…” Fred shrugged helplessly. “He’s close to going insane. If he snaps, there’s no telling what he’ll do.” Twilight frowned worriedly.
“I’ll have to send a letter to Princess Celestia in that case. She always knows what to do.” Alice scratched her head absent-mindedly.
“Gosh, I hope that she can help him. Ah’d really hate t’see him gettin’ put down like a rabid dog.”

I bolted upright, a rage-filled roar already leaving my throat. I flipped, starting to decimate a nearby trunk of wood, punching it until my fists were sore and bleeding. The only things I heard were my own ragged breathing and the fading echoes of my roar. Jesus, that was a nightmare that put everything else I’ve witnessed to shame. I… I just dreamt of slaughtering everyone I called a friend. No guns, just my claws and fangs. Bloody hell, it was getting worse.
“Bad dreams?” A soft, calm voice interrupted my addled musings. I looked over to the other side of the crackling fire, mood growing a bit more darker at seeing Celestia.
“What do you want?” I grumble, still angry with myself.
“Your friends tell me you are ill.” She calmly responded.
“So? Why do you care?” Her smile quickly fades, and she takes on a more concerned expression.
“I only wish to help you, nothing else.”
“Well, guess what. I don’t want your help or need it.”
“But-“
“Look here, lady! My troubles are mine and mine alone to deal with! I don’t need others to lug my emotional luggage for me! Capisce?” I was nearly shouting by this point and vented my anger on a nearby branch. The piece of firewood shattered and Celestia flinched. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt expression on her face so I turned away, rubbing my face sullenly. Mother of God, I was really going nuts.
“James… Why do you push me away so? I hold no ill intent towards you or your friends. I am deeply concerned for you, as are they.” She stood up, slowly walking in front of me, holding my gaze firmly.
“I… I…” Nice one, brain.
“Let me tell you something, James. To Fred, you all are like family. He is constantly worrying about you. To him, you are like his own son.”
Christ… I’d never thought to look at it that way. Now I could understand why he was so reluctant to leave me alone. Who’d have thought, eh?
“Sorry…” I muttered shamefully.
“There is nothing to be sorry about. I know that you have been fighting your own mind all this time. It is difficult to fight an enemy you cannot lash back out at, no?” She smiled at me gracefully and I already felt better.
“I guess I’ll have to accept that offer of yours, m’lady.” She chuckled briefly at that.
“Oh, there is no need for that. You can call me Celestia. Or just Princess. I find it refreshing being addressed as an equal. Well then, if you are willing to accept my help, I suppose I should tell you more about what I am going to do.”
“Cut my head open so you can slice up my brain?” Shut up, brain! Oh, and Celestia seems queasy now. Way to go, brain.
“What? No! A simple – well, not simple – spell that is designed to combat possession and withdraw invasive personalities and consciousnesses and trap them inside an inanimate object for storage where they cannot cause any further harm, like in your case.”
“Spells?” I voiced my scepticism.
“Indeed. My magic is strong and I am adept at casting various spells and enchantments.”
“I don’t believe that. Magic is the stuff of fairytales.” She conjured a ball of flame, leaving it hanging mid-air. She also left me speechless as she froze the fireball, turning it to ice, and then evaporating it in a cloud of steam.
“I believe that makes your argument invalid.” She announced, somewhat smug, amusedly eyeing me. I was fairly aware of my jaw hanging open.
“Christ Almighty…”
“If you are quite done with being a pessimist, James, let me perform the spell.” Her eyes shone brightly, a soft golden glow enveloping her horn. Oooh err, by gum, that was a bit scar-*SKADOOSH*

Ow.

I say again.

OWFORTHELOVEOFFUCKINGJESUSITHURTS

…

This is boring.

Celestia recoiled at the small, slavering sentience trapped in a garnet she’d brought along with her for this occasion. She’d never seen anything quite like this. The Chimera kept demanding she let it hear the song again. She had no idea what it meant by that and she didn’t intend to set it free, either. There was only one thing for it.
The small gemstone shattered against the wall. The death of the snarling soul left her rather unnerved. To think that James had fought it every waking moment told her volumes of his mental endurance. Said Hybrid was still knocked out cold, though.

I woke up, slightly unsteady as I got my bearings again. The fire was still crackling strongly. Celestia was drinking tea. Upon noticing I was awake, she smiled graciously.
“Ah! Good to see you’re finally awake, James. How do you feel?”
“I…” I tried to respond, but paused. My mind was silent. It was like my head had been trapped in a slowly-constricting vice. It felt so good, not having to tolerate the raving beast in my mind! I was finally once more the uncontested lord and master of my mind and body.
“I take it I was successful, then.”
“Thanks. I really mean it.” I answered her, grateful. I wasn’t sure how long I would’ve lasted before succumbing to that damned thing. “And, uh… Sorry. About trying to eat you.” I mumbled quietly.
“Do not worry. I am at fault for that. I overreacted when I saw you and your friends.”
“Eh. So, where do we go from here?”
“Well, I suppose you can join the others at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I need some time alone. As I said, I have a lot of emotional luggage and I have to sort it all out. So I won’t be going anywhere right now.” She looks a bit saddened at that, but nods nevertheless.
“I understand.” She stands up, smiling warmly.
“It’s nothing personal. I just need some me time.”
“We all do, James. We all do.” She responds, a tone of understanding in her voice. Then she turns around, walking away. Again, I am alone.

If I am being even a little bit honest, staying alone was really boring.
> Chapter 8
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, this was strange.

I examined the vehicle. A P-1117 Kingfisher.

How’d this get here? Perhaps it had been caught in the explosion, like me and the others. That would have been a plausible explanation.

So where was the crew, then? I clambered inside, cautiously of course.  I like to keep my brain inside my skull, not splattered over the wall by a Rossmore. Where-Oh. Oh boy. The crew was here alright, but they were in coma. Crawlers had gotten to the poor sods. I could see the claw marks on their faces. Oh, dear. There was only one thing for it. 

Birds fluttered forth from nearby trees at the sharp rapport of a Bullseye being fired.

I carried the bodies outside, reminding myself to come back later with Fred and dig some graves. Now, however, it was time to learn how to fly a Kingfisher.

I sat down in the pilot’s seat, looking around confusedly. Was there a manual somewhere that I could use? Of course there was… not. Well, looks like it’s going to be the good old method of trial and error. I scrutinised the array of switches, lights and dials before flipping a couple. With a stutter, the interior lighting came alive. Success!
One down… Dozens to go. I kept at it, though. After (somehow) starting the engines, I found the hydraulics dials. Everything seemed to be in the green, as they say. The thrum of the two engines steadied, and then intensified as I pushed the throttle forward. A press of a button later the doors were closed and I could hear again. Hastily strapping myself in, I grabbed the controls and pushed them forward a bit, not willing to tempt fate. Slowly, but surely, the Kingfisher inched forward. A quick glance at the fuel gauge told me I was full. Well, that was fortunate. Okay, now for the fun part. I had at the dashboards again and I heard the whirring of hydraulics as the engines swivelled ninety degrees. For a moment I experienced vertigo as I lost some altitude, but then the VTOL surged forward and I pulled up, the forest blurring below me. Oh, boy was this fun! I pushed the throttle to the max, hearing the roar of engines intensify as I gained altitude. Flicking the controls, I pulled off a barrel roll. Then another one. Seeing a familiar landmark below, I went in for a flyby, roaring low over the apple trees, now leafless and empty. I glimpsed small figures flinch as I passed overhead.

Applejack flattened herself on the ground, glaring at the strange machine that had arrived from nowhere.
“For hay’s sake! What in tarnation is that thing?” Fred ambled over, rather excited.
“It’s a Kingfisher! To put it simply, it’s a flying machine. Where did this one come from?” He waved at the aircraft, almost squeeing as the pilot waggled its wings, returning his greeting.

I chuckled, and then banked away, heading for Ponyville. Time to give the natives a greeting, British style. I soared past, low and fast, shaking snow from the tops of some houses. A multitude of ponies ran out, of course, surprised at the machine that was soaring through the skies. Many scattered, terrified by the noise. Others, however, stared, transfixed by the sight and I hammered onwards, heading for the castle sticking out from the side of the distant mountain.

Everything was calm in Celestia’s bedroom. There was nothing wrong with Equestria. No changeling invasions. No Discord or Sombra coming back to life. Her sister was back to normal again and wasn’t going to start an eternal night. And then something happened. A distant, low drone reached Celestia’s ears. Her left ear twitched and she sat up, annoyed.

What is that noise?

Both ticked off and intrigued, she cantered up to the balcony and promptly ducked out of sheer terror as a large metal machine thundered past meters away.
By Faust! What was that?
Her curiosity and worry boiling over the top, she pushed the doors open and took off in pursuit.

I levelled out, heading back towards Apple family’s farm. I felt Fred and others should know about my find. Just then, a blur of white shot past me, circling back and heading right towards me. Yelling something incomprehensible, I veered off, spotting the blur zoom past me. Okay, apparently someone doesn’t take too well to Kingfishers. Eventually, my assailant came near enough for me to see who it was. It turned out that Celestia was pursuing me. I tried to pull away before she flew too close to the propeller blades and was turned into mincemeat. That’d suck real bad. I activated the airbrakes and went to hover mode, bringing the VTOL to a shuddering halt as Celestia rocketed past me. Soon enough, though, she returned, hovering in front of the Kingfisher. She looked both surprised and angry. Maybe my big grin served to further infuriate her. Nevertheless, I opened the right-side door, letting her inside the Kingfisher.
“James! What have you done this time?” A rather angry Celestia tried to get in the cockpit, but I shook my head frantically. If she bumped her big arse in any of the dashboards, we’d be doomed.
“Don’t! Stay where you are!” I shut the door, easing the throttle back some.
“James! Answer me! Where’d you dig this up from?”
“Found it in the forest.” Like she was going to believe that. Right, brain?
“Really?”
“I did! I’m serious!”
“Well, then, care to enlighten me?”
“Sit down, princess.” I went to flight mode, resuming forward motion and heard Celestia stumble as she tried to retain her upward position.
“I was having a walk when I saw this thing. The crew were dead, though. I’ll have to go back there and give those lugs a proper burial.”
“So you just left them there?”
“Hey, what do you expect from me? The ground’s frozen solid! You couldn’t bury a grasshopper there! The point is, it’s not a one man’s task. And I don’t have a shovel.” I banked, heading back towards the castle.
“How do you know how to fly this machine?”
“It’s still pretty much touch and go. I couldn’t find the manual. Luckily, it seems I’ve gotten the knack of flying.” I sneezed, sending the Kingfisher in a rather steep dive. Celestia cried out indignantly, tumbling across the floor. Whoopsie daisy.
“JAMES! GET THIS INFERNAL CONTRAPTION UNDER CONTROL!” I cringed, pulling up and levelling out. Celestia muttered sullenly, grumbling all manners of curses at my oafish skills. Can’t say I blame her.
Fortunately, the rest of the trip passed by relatively quietly.

I heard the whir as the engines swivelled upwards, reducing forward momentum considerably. A flick of a switch later the doors slid open and Celestia leaped out, landing gracefully on her balcony. Waving her a quick farewell, I backed the VTOL away before turning about and heading towards the Sweet Apple Acres. Doubtlessly Fred and others would want to know about this.

I saw Ted jumping up and down, waving his arms just as I came in for a landing. With slightly more ease than all other times, I touched down. Several loose bits and bots clattered around the hull. As soon as I had turned the engines off, Snag was already clambering across the window.

I climbed out.

FIST TO THE FACE

“What the hell was that for, Jen? Is this going to become a habit of yours?” I shouted angrily, cheek throbbing and bruised. The sucker puncher in question pulled me upward, shaking me like a ragdoll.
“Fred’s been worried sick about you! You think you can just forget about us?” She hugged me fiercely. What the what?
“I’m so bloody angry and happy at the same time it’s a wonder I’m not going crazy!” Bill walked up, grinning broadly.
“Well put, Jen. You took the words right outta my mouth. Nice t’see ya again, pardner.” He shook my hand as Jen let go of me, a gesture I gladly returned.
“Same here, Bill. Say, where’s others? Alice? Ted?”
“They’re around. Jack and Will got part-time jobs in th’ town, so they’re not here. Th’ rest of us are stayin’ at here, at the farm. Applejack said we can help when winter’s over. That leaves you, Jimmy boy. Whatcha gonna do?”
“Truth be told, I have no idea. Thought I was going to finally go nuts and run off in the wild. That is, until the princess did that magic thing or whatever on me. I didn’t really plan any further than that.”
“Well, I’m sure Miz Applejack can help you with that. Her fam’ly’s plannin’ big. They’re going to expand their fields come springtime and could use the extra help.” Well, since my brain was being particularly stubborn today, I simply nodded.
“That’d do just fine, Bill.”

Thud Thud Thud Thud Thud Thud Thud

Oh, balls! I’d forgotten about Fr-

“JAMES!” I cringed as I felt my ribs being nearly pulverized. Fred had scooped me up in one of his trademark crushing hugs. And wh-JESUS CHRIST

Snaggletooth filled my vision, screeching as loud as possible. I responded in kind. Our shouting competition was interrupted as Fred dropped me on the ground, sitting down in front of me. Of course, he wanted to know where I’d gotten the Kingfisher from, so I regaled him with my tale and everything else I’d been doing during my time in the cave.

“Well, that is a plausible claim, James. But I’m worried now. What if any other Chimera than us got here? They could wreak havoc in this world.” Fred voiced his concerns. I had to agree with him. After all, we did get here without getting harmed. But then Jen piped up.
“Wait a moment. While they might’ve gotten here, too, they wouldn’t survive without an Angel. Remember what happened when the Manchester convoy Angel died?” I did. That’s about the same time when I broke free. Hundreds of Chimera died, leaderless. Relieved that there was no imminent alien invasion we’d have to deal with, I sighed.
“Well, that’s good news, then.” We spent some more time chatting, catching up with things I’d missed during my absence before going inside the house. Though rather annoyed at my Kingfisher-inspired antics, she accepted my request for helping at the farm, saying I could stay here during the winter. Well, since I could hunt squat back in the forest, since most animals were giving the cave a wide berth by now, I was glad to stay here. Even Jen was happy, seeing as she could tinker with the VTOL I brought her. Best Christmas ever, eh?
> Chapter 9
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever done or said something you come to regret later?

I am just going to go out on a limb here and say that I should have seen this coming. I am currently face-down in dirt, a rather particular white alicorn looming over me.

This has not been my best decision, by anyone’s yardstick.

“Oh, James! Are you okay?” I hear Celestia’s voice.
“Hhhgrrr.” I respond. “Hhhgrrr.” Master of linguistic eloquence, right here!
“James?”
“Oh, I’m just fine and dandy. I totally didn’t break five ribs and dislocate my shoulder. I also didn’t break my right arm!” Sarcasm, ahoy!
“I’m so, so sorry about this, but I’ve recently had some rather trying days. I’ve been keeping this anger all pent-up inside me.”
“So what, you’ll hire me as your personal stress ball to break and smash over and over again, abusing my regenerative abilities?”
“I… what? No! But you told me you’d be there and when I saw nor hide nor hair from you, I… lost my temper.” She finishes sheepishly.
“You don’t say.”

How did this happen?
Well, it all started two months ago. Winter had passed and ended on a day every single pony name ‘Winter Wrap Up’. When I heard the description, I got the mother of all migraines. I mean, seriously! Fred, of course, was ecstatic.
Seeing as we’d been very well-behaved flesh-eating monsters, Celestia got the bright idea to invite us to the big annual get-together at the capital and introduce us to the pony folk proper. From what Twilight and others told me, it was basically a bunch of rich, stuck up snobs in a big hall, all of them acting like you’re dirt on ground and that they shit gold and everything they say is a revelation that should be written down in the annals of history.

Grand Galloping Gala.

Grand fecking Galloping fecking Gala FECKING FECK
Calm yourself, James. No need to explode like th-

FECK

I’m not a people person. Or a pony person, for that matter. Most likely, I’d end up eating someone because they wouldn’t stop annoying me. Or something along those lines. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, Winter Wrap Up is when it started, I guess. Fred had been allowed to lend a hand, much to his immense happiness. The town echoed with his deep baritone singing as he belted the song out along with other ponies. Alice had been kind enough to drop by the apothecary and bring me some aspirin to cure my Fred’s singing-induced migraine. She and the rest of Yanks had settled down in Ponyville rather comfortably, with jobs and all. The Chimeran fraction of us elected to remain at the farm, seeing as the presence of big, toothy monsters with glowing yellow eyes tended to have a negative effect on ponies. Who would’ve thought, eh?
…I was being sarcastic, by the way.

We were at Twilight’s library. Well, most of us. Fred had to sit outside. We were patiently waiting for Twilight and Celestia to finish their conversation they were having in the kitchen. Of course, after ten minutes of waiting, I got bored and decided to go and get a glass of water.

In hindsight, that was not all too wise of me to do. As I closed the door after me, I was instantly gifted with nightmare fuel for years to come.
Apparently, Twilight and Celestia were in a relationship and were, uh… being consummate about it. To put it simply, they were making out on the kitchen table. And now I’d walked in on them.
Oops.
Celestia looked up, an expression of surprise and shock on her face.
“James!? What-“ She was interrupted as Twilight rolled off the table, trying desperately to tidy herself.
“James! I told you to wait in the living room!” The purple unicorn calls out indignantly.
“I was thirsty! I only wanted to get some water!” I shot back. “The real question is what are you two doing here?” Celestia looks away guiltily at that, and turns back to me after a moment.
“Well, me and Twilight… we’re in love.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all you’re going to say, James?”

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I’M TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT, LADY

My internal scream went unheard, however. I simply nodded in response.
“I presume you’re going to make me keep this a secret, Celestia. I have only a single request of you.” She sighs heavily, but nods, walking over to me, puckering up and leaning closer.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Celestia?” I declare flatly, not amused.
“But I thought-“
“NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND. I’d be perfectly fine if you could provide me with some meat.”
“Uh…” She stutters, surprised.
“Meat! Steak, beef, pork, ham, I’m not picky! Just show me where I can find some!” She frowns for a moment, but then smiles.
“I’m sure the Griffon Embassy has some in store. Allow me to write a letter of permission to them so there’s not trouble when you go there.”
“Okay. Now, what did you want to tell us back there? We’re kinda getting impatient.”
“We’ll be there in a minute, James.”
“Okay.” As I turn to leave, Celestia places a hoof on my shoulder.
“James. Nopony must hear of this. Please, promise me you will keep this a secret.”
“Okay, Celestia. If it’s such a big deal to you, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thank you. Now, if you don’t mind…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll leave. Just hurry up, would you?” I muttered in response, leaving.

It was another blissfully mind-numbing ten minutes we spent sitting there before the two lovebirds decided to grace us with their presence.

“It has been almost a year since you and your friends arrived at Equestria, James. I have watched and judged you all. And, even though I had my doubts, none of you have ever abused the trust I invested in you. For that, you all are granted Equestrian citizenship, effective immediately. To that end, you all are also invited to the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. I trust that Twilight will explain everything to you. I must leave now. I hope to see you all at the Gala.” As she exited the library, I followed, needing to say her something.

“Celestia!”
“Yes, James?” I pause for a moment, thinking how best to put this.
“I’m not going.”
“Excuse me?”
“To that Gala. I’m not going to be there.” That seems to sadden her.
“Can you at least tell me why?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t really like big get-togethers. I’m not a people person. The way I see it, I’d be more trouble than good there.”
“Won’t you at least give it the benefit of doubt? Please. You have always been so distant and untrusting. You need to open up to others. Give us a chance, will you?”
“I’m not promising anything, Celestia, but I guess you’re right. S’pose I’ll be there.” The alicorn in front of me smiles graciously, nodding.
“That’s all I ask. On a side note, I’ll send your letter for the Embassy to Sweet Apple Acres. Expect it to arrive at the end of this week, if not faster. Your tickets to the Gala will arrive tomorrow. Be sure to check with Rarity if you are in need of fine apparel.” With that, she took off, flying away.

Twilight and Celestia, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-

NO

I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of such thoughts. Well, best get back to the farm, I suppose.

“Hey, there, James! How’d it go?” Apple Bloom trotted up to me, smiling happily. After the initial shock of realising I’d be living with her family, the two of us eventually went on to become thick as thieves.
“Hey, Apple Bloom. Pretty well, all things considered. Your princess gave us all a pat on the head for being nice wee beasties.” I should cut down on the sarcasm. Maybe sell it as food additive.
“Why’re ya so angry at the princess?”
“Eh, it’s complicated. I don’t really have anything against being a citizen here, but she should’ve asked for our opinion first. And she invited us to the Grand Galloping Gala, whatever that is.”
“No way! She really did that?”
“Yep. I guess it’s a really big deal, eh?”
“Y’have no idea, James! Ya could ask mah sister ‘bout it, y’know. She was there th’ last year. Ah’m sure she could show ya the ropes.”
“I’ll have to ask her about that, then. Thanks, Apple Bloom.”
“Think nothin’ of it.” She smiled, trotting away to do some Crusading, I guess.

It’s been a while since we settled down at the farm. With Celestia’s permission, Jen had set up a small workshop nearby where she could be found most of the time, working on her project. She’d gotten in her mind to build a Chimeran power core. How she knows the blueprints to that sort of tech – no idea, but there it is. Other than that, she repairs anything the ponies bring over that’s broken.
Ted works as a courier, delivering packages all over the town. He seems happy enough. Fluttershy’s doing some sort of training with him, to get some of his jitteriness go away.
Fred is a babysitter, or should I say a foalsitter? Anyways, he is always busy with his slowly-growing flock of sorts. Even though his outer appearance made many ponies hesitant to let him be the caretaker of their kids at the beginning, they warmed up to him eventually.
Me, I was happy enough with doing farmwork. Helps me to sort of organize my thoughts.
“Hey, James!” I heard Applejack greet me and I wave in response. “So, how’d it go? Everythin’ alright?”
“Yep.” I nodded, retelling what Celestia had announced at the library.
“Well, Ah’ll be! Y’all are invited to th’ Gala?”
“It seems so. You’re going as well, I presume?”
“Well, yeah. Th’ princess sent us the invitations last week. Ah jus’ hope it goes better than th’ last year.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I went there t’sell some food, y’know, to earn some money for our farm. Over the entire evenin’, I sold only a single apple pie. It certainly wasn’t the best night ever Ah had.”
“And this time, we’ll be accompanying you.”
“This can only go down good.” Applejack, ever the optimist, flashed a smile. I felt inclined to agree with her, my own pessimism aside. We had only caused minor ruckus in Ponyville, but weren’t known in any other towns or settlements. Or Canterlot, for that matter.
“We’ll get ya over to Rare’s an’ she’ll get ya the fanciest suit ever!”

Scratch that. It’s going to be a nightmare.
> Chapter 10
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Can you seriously imagine me in a suit, Applejack?”
“Yeah, but whenever Ah do, Ah get th’ giggles!” The orange farmpony snickered and I sighed.
“You’re not helping, Applejack. Fred may be ecstatic about this, but not me. I said this to Celestia and I’ll say this to you – I’m not a people person. I’m more anxious than expectant about this Gala of yours.”
“Don’t worry none ‘bout it, James! Ah’m sure Rares can help ya’ll out.”
“If I know Fred, he’s most likely to get a giant top hat. And a monocle. And what’s stopping the heat stacks from setting the clothes on fire?”
“Me.” Jen showed up, a grin on her face. “I finally got the modifications ready.”
“Y’sure? I don’t really have much faith in your crackpot science.” Jen slapped me, irritated.
“You arse. I’ve tried several designs and have finally found one that is the proverbial sliced bread. If you’d drop by my workshop, I’ll install the upgrades to the heat stacks.” Somewhat reluctantly, I followed her, Applejack in tow, curious as always.

I sat on the chair, bending over a bit to let Jen at my back. I felt the clatter of her tools as she removed one of the heat stacks for modification. Suddenly, it was several degrees warmer as the remaining heat stacks struggled to cope.
“Just hang in there, James.” Her voice floated over me as she took apart the piece of sophisticated tech. “I’ve put a lot of effort into this model.” I looked up, seeing her busily soldering and tweaking various parts of the heat stack, her fingers a complete blur. It took her mere minutes to finish the task and she returned, the heat stack now glowing a pale blue hue. As soon as Jen reconnected it, a wave of chilliness rushed through me. Soon, my body reached its natural equilibrium and everything was fine.
“Your temperature’s dropped some. I wager once I’ve finished upgrading the rest of your heat stacks, it’ll be somewhere near normal human body temperature, give or take a couple of degrees.”
It was half an hour later when Jen had finished with her heat stacks as well and we decided to head to Ponyville, Applejack in tow once more. As we walked down the road, we passed several ponies, most of whom happily greeted us. We’d become fairly well-known in Poyville during the year, but still remained more or less a rumour anywhere outside the settlement. Of course, we do get the occasional second glance, but we don’t cause trouble. Much.

Applejack knocked on the door of the Carousel Boutique and Rarity opened it a couple of moments later.
“Applejack! Nice to meet you! James, Jennifer. How does this day find you?”
“Okay. Celestia directed us here, saying we should get some ‘proper’ clothing for the Gala. Said you could help us out.”
“Oh, well certainly! Everypony must look their best at the Gala!” I cringed slightly at ‘everypony’. Rarity mistook it for nervousness, apparently.
“Oh, do not worry, James! So, tell me, what ails you in the department of fashion?”
Cringe.
“I suppose I could use a tuxedo or something along those lines. A dress for Jen, maybe?”
“Let me stop you right there, James. I’m not going anywhere in a dress. If I was human, sure, maybe. But not like this. Besides, I feel more comfortable as I am.”
“Eeergh.”
“Don’t worry. You won’t be the only to one to suffer. The Yanks’ll have to go through this, too.” I felt like I was signing my soul away, if I still had one.

In the end, having taken my measurements, Rarity announced she would have my suit ready in a couple of weeks. The Yanks had already done so earlier this day, much to my irritation. All that was left to do was wait for the invitations.

Two days later, I was happily heading towards the Griffon Embassy, a particular letter in my pocket. My destination was some distance away from Ponyville. From what Twilight had told me, they didn’t have much guests over there. Most of the time, it was used to house ambassadors from the Griffon Empire, but other than that… You get the idea.

I knocked twice on the large, gilded door. A couple of moments later, it swung open and I was presented with a griffon. His annoyed expression turned to that of shock as he saw me.
“By the Ancestors! What manner of beast are you?”
“I’m James. Princess Celestia sent me over.” I gave him my letter. He snatched it impatiently, ripping the envelope open and reading it. Once done, he looked at me surprisedly.
“So… you really eat meat?”
“Do these fangs look like they’re useless?”
“No offense, it’s just rare that I meet another meat-eater than fellow griffons. Do come in. We have some cold, smoked ham that we just unpacked.” The mention of that made my mouth water and I swallowed a litre of drool.
“Lead the way.”

That place was paradise. A meat-filed paradise. I was sitting at a table, consuming the various foodstuffs the griffons were fond of. Some I knew, some I didn’t. I ate them anyway. Of course, the griffon guards were curious of me and asked me to tell my tale, so to speak. I obliged, of course. They were a good audience, too.

“You killed a hydra? Now that is an achievement worthy of a true warrior!” The big cheese of the place, Ironbeak bellowed appreciatively, taking a swig from his tankard. The griffons were also partial to alcoholic drinks, too. I was enjoying this world more and more.
“Well, I had help. Truth be told, it wasn’t the only thing we killed in the Everfree. A whole bunch of those timberwolves, too. And then some. Damn buggers are too daft to steer clear of the cave most of the time.”
“Aye, the Everfree Forest is a hunter’s paradise.” He nodded sagely.
“Have you ever gone there?”
“No, not really. I have to stay here and watch over the embassy. But I try to when I can. As the saying goes, hunting’s the real deal.” A random griffon offered me a tankard of cold beer. I accepted it, muttering a quiet thanks.
“True.” He seemed to ponder on something.
“Say, would you be free someday for some hunting? I would like to see your prowess for myself!”
“I’d like that. We’ll sort out the details later, then?” He laughed, clapping me on the shoulder.
“Magnificent!” He cast a look over his shoulder as one of his guards whispered to him. “Bah! Something has come up that I must deal with! No worries, James! We shall meet once more! Agreed?”
“Definitely!” I grinned a toothy grin.
“Allow me to give you some of our goods to take home. I shall lend you one of our carts to use.”
No, I really liked this world now.

I’m not even being sarcastic this time.

Applejack trooted up to me, sighing relievedly.
“James! There ya are!”
“Hey, A-“*braaaaaaaaaaap*
The orange mare recoiled as my breath hit her.
“For hay’s sake, James! Where’ve ya been?”
“The Griffon Embassy.” *braaaap*
“That the reason you stink of beer?”
“Pretty much.”
“And what’s in the cart?”
“Food.”
“Food?” She clearly wasn’t buying that.
“Food.” I parroted. Before I could stop her, she looked in the cart and recoiled in shock.
“Meat! What in tarnation have ya been doin’, mister?”
“’s a gift from the griffons.” *braap*
“Well, we can’t keep this around here! Ah don’t want Apple Bloom t’freak out later!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take it to Jen’s workshop. We’ll all be happier that way. Deal?”
“Ugh! Fine! But keep it out of my family’s sight, ‘kay?”
“You got it.”
“On a side note, yer invitations t’the Gala arrived here a couple’a hours ago. Looks like we’re all set for the Gala. But we’ll deal with it when it comes.”

We were sitting quietly at the simply-built table Fred’d crafted.
“So, I got us some meat today.”
I fell backwards, dislocated by a thrown tin bowl that slammed in my face at supersonic speeds. Need I say who threw it?
“James, you arse!” Jen threw Ted’s plate at me and it struck one of my heat stacks, spinning away with a clang. “You have some and you didn’t tell us? You pillock!”
“It’s in your workshop, woman! Leave me be!” I retorted angrily. Ted sprung to his feet, but Fred grabbed him.
“Steady on, mate! We’ll share it!” He tried to reason with the Slipskull in his grasp but the upside-down-hanging Chimera wouldn’t have any of it, spouting profanities and flailing about. I sighed, trying to resume my meal while Jen walked to her workshop to drag the cart out.

A while later, we were all sitting in a quiet, concealed grove, away from prying pony eyes, consuming Ironbeak’s gift to us. None of us said anything. Jen was still pissed with me, as is her way. Ted was humming quietly. Fred was picking at his teeth absent-mindedly.

As far as perfect days go, this might have been the best one I’ve ever had, Jen’s constant abusing of me aside.
> Chapter 11
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

*clang*

WHAT THE FECK WAS THAT

I fell to the ground, snarling, gripping my bloody nose, or what passed for a nose on a Hybrid. After several choice curses, I sat up, more careful this time. Reaching out a tad blindly, I let my night vision return. The sight of my assailant got a somewhat-insane chuckle out of me.
“Jesus Christ on a pushbike… It’s not even my birthday!” I cackled, eyeing the M-12 Sabertooth Light Battle Tank. One of the most common Yank war vehicles, this light tank had been sold to British Army in small numbers before the Chimera struck. This particular one was covered in branches and, uh… dead bits of Chimera. And humans. Shite. Well, best get crackin’, as Alice keeps saying.

After a somewhat queasiness-inducing session of scrub and rub for the Sabertooth, I tried to weigh the pros and cons of having not gone to the Gala. Yes, I know, I broke my promise to Celestia.

Boo, me. Bad James. No candy for me.

Go away, unneeded feeling of guilt. Time to wreak havoc in the tank.

The hatch took some work to open. The screws were a tad rusty, but I got it open. It was rather difficult to fit my Chimeran self through the hatch, what with my heat stacks severely impeding my progress. After a while, though, I was (relatively) comfortably seated in the driver’s/gunner’s seat. The nifty thing is that to use the tank, you only needed one man – the Sabertooth used an autoloader to service the 80mm cannon’s needs. Same went for the coaxial Gatling gun. The fifty-cal seemed to be a tad mangled, though. No worries. Jen can fix it. Recently, she’d even been able to restock our gunpowder firearms in her workshop. Not that we ever use them.

Ahem.

I hoped the battery wasn’t dead. If it were, my funride would be over before it even started. And that would make me a sad Chimera. A cursory inspection revealed something I was very happy about. I found a manual of sorts. Wasting no time, I opened it and started reading it…

Canterlot Royal Castle

Celestia smiled warmly at the mish-mash of ponies, humans and Chimera as the former knelt down. The human soldiers chose to give her a simple salute. Even though the Chimeran fraction (apart from Fred) simply nodded once, she didn’t mind.
“Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala, everypony. I do hope you will enjoy your stay here.” Fred stood up from his exaggerated bow, his wrought cane clanking on the marble tiles. As James had predicted, he wore a monocle and a tophat. The Americans and Ted were dressed in finely-made suits, courtesy of Ponyville’s resident fashionista. Even Jen had been goaded into wearing a suit. She was still fuming at Fred for his use of infallible logic, as was his way.
“A glorious evening to you, princess!” Fred replied, smiling widely. Celestia chuckled softly at that, but her smile faded as she eyed the group.
“Where is James?”
“He didn’t come. Said he needed some time alone.” Alice piped up.
“Oh… I see.” Celestia nodded, sighing sadly. “Now, then. I will be revealing you all to my ponies later this evening. I have informed the guards of your circumstances. Until then, you may reside in one of our guest rooms until I have explained the situation to my ponies.”
“That seems reasonable, princess.” Fred nodded. Soon, their group was trailing after the two Royal Guards that led them to a private room where they spent some time trying to prepare for the upcoming events. Of course, in keeping with Celestia’s words, they had complete privacy.

It had been an hour until they heard a knock on the door. It opened and Celestia entered; a slightly nervous smile on her face.
“It’s time, everypony. Come with me. Let us make friends, hmm?”

They walked through the quiet hallways, following the alicorn diarch, Fred’s thudding footsteps echoing in the air. The subdued clamour of dozens of ponies reached their ears as Celestia opened the wide doors and a sea of heads swivelled to face them; a collective gasp following seconds later as the group of humans and Chimera stepped on the small podium in front of Celestia’s throne, fidgeting a bit. The throne room had become deathly quiet as Celestia coughed politely, a somewhat forced smile on her face.
“Now, my ponies, do not-“
“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” A random unicorn screamed.
That was all it took. In a flash, the gathered nobility were galloping around, screaming bloody murder. Celestia tried (in vain) to get some semblance of order going, but to no avail. Ponies were wailing and screaming in horror. Jen was facepalming so hard she might’ve rubbed her face off if she kept it up. Ted had decided to join the screaming ponies and was running about, arms flailing.
“THE HORROR! THE HORROR!”
“ENOUGH!” A new voice bellowed and everyone/-pony froze where they stood. Everyone/-pony turned to look at the new arrival. A midnight blue alicorn was glaring at the gathered crowd, her ethereal mane shimmering in the light. Celestia smiled at her thankfully, before turning back to the crowd.
“Please, do not panic. There is no reason to do so. They are friends and bear no ill will towards any of us.”
“W-what proof do you have of that?” Someon-er, pony, stuttered fearfully.
“They have been living in Equestria for nearly a year, to be fair. They have had ample time to harm us, yet here we all stand. Up until now, only the residents of Ponyville knew of their existence and I dare say that they received them with more hospitality than now.” At that, some of the ponies looked away ashamedly. “So please, give them a chance.” Silence reigned in the moments after her request, but, as always, Fred was the first to break it.
“Good evening, everyone! I am Fred!”

It had taken some time but the initial awkwardness had been overcome. The Gala was in full swing by now and the humans/Chimera had dispersed through the crowd, chatting with ponies or each other.

Jennifer’s POV

“I honestly cannot believe how disrespectful the servants have become. It is a sad thing that punishments have been discontinued. They all have become so lax it beggars belief.”
Oh, this was going to get fun.  I pinpointed the source of the arrogant voice. After a moment, I saw the pudgy bastard. Wasting no time, I walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder. Without even looking at me, he responded haughtily.
“Begone, peasant. Your presence offends me.”
“How about you learn some manners, mate?” Oh, he really wasn’t expecting that, was he? He whirled around, his annoyed expression changing to that of shock.
“Buh-buh-buh-buh-“He stammered, much to my amusement.
“You know, being nice to others is considered the sign of civility. And it would seem you’re the biggest yobbo of the group.” He stared at me for a couple of moments before responding, arrogant as hell.
“How dare you address me in such a manner! I am Prince Blueblood and you will address me as such! Apologize immediately!”
“Okay. I’m sorry you’re such a pompous arsehole and a waste of life. I have half a mind to kill you and significantly heighten this world’s average intelligence quotient.” I nearly choke on my tongue as he splutters indignantly.
“I am nobility! I am Princess Celestia’s nephew and I deserve to be treated as such!” He stretched out his foreleg. “Kiss it and you may be forgiven.” His emphasis on ‘may’ did not go unnoticed.
“Whoa, mate! Won’t you even take me out for dinner first? That said, I didn’t know you had a thing for Chimera.” I tried to put on my best bedroom eyes, which really wasn’t saying much. At least I managed to make my voice relatively sultry. His face became beet red as the two cogs in his head crunched noisily. When was the last time someone did maintenance on him? He stormed off angrily.
“Ooph. Thank you, er…” One of the nearby ponies sighed.
“Jen. I’m Jen.”
“Nice to meet you. Truth be told, I would not have lasted any longer listening to that disgrace to Equestrian nobility keep waffling off about everything being terrible and-look. This is a case of the ten percent giving the ninety percent a bad name. But enough about that. I am Starry Dawn. And you have my thanks for getting rid of that oaf.” He stuck out his hoof and I happily obliged.
“Nice t’meet ya, mate.”

James’s POV

I hollered gleefully as the tank crunched over a tree trunk, the engine roaring loudly. Slowly, but surely, I was making my way towards the farm from the depths of Everfree. Pausing for a moment to take control of the main gun, I aimed at a large fallen tree in my way. I could just drive around it, but that’s just plain boring, right? The 80mm rifled cannon exhaled deafeningly and I cackled gleefully.
“Boom-shacka-lacka!” I have no idea what I’m saying. I throttled the engine again, smashing my way through the smouldering tree trunk, blissfully unaware of the trail of destruction I was leaving behind.

Jennifer’s POV

James was going to get his arse whipped, that much was sure. Alabaster Damsel seemed to be getting more and more ticked, though she didn’t let it show. Much. She wandered over to me – I was striking up a conversation with the griffons that were present. They were a nice bunch – I could relate to them, at least. That and there was meat to be found.

Yum.

“How are you finding the food, Jennifer?” Celestia asked, a smile on her face.
“’s good. Thanks.” She leaned closer, whispering.
“Would you know where I could find James?”
“No idea. Said he wanted to take a walk around the forest.”
“Ah. Well, it does indeed sadden me he did not come with you. I would have liked to talk to him.”
“Well, that’s too bad. I know he can be bit of an arse. Most of the time. Scratch that, he’s always a pain.”
“Perhaps so. Still, where could I start to look for him?”
“Ah. I guess the farm is a good place to start with.”
“Thank you, Jennifer. Now, enjoy-“
“Auntie Celestia!” I saw Celestia cringe and she sighed, turning around.
“Yes, Blueblood?”
“I have been disrespected in a most terrible way! One of those monsters you invited to the Gala completely disregarded my royal status!”
“That’d be me, mate.” I added helpfully. Blueblood snarled, glaring at me. Ineffectively.
“You! How dare you mock me so! Apologize immediately!”
“Nah.” I swear, his head nearly burst from all the anger he was experiencing. Same couldn’t be said about Celestia, though – she was trying to keep herself from laughing. That or there was something stuck in her throat.
“Jennifer, do be polite to him. I think I know how we can settle this matter. A duel.”
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.

Hold the freaking phone.

“I get to beat the bagels out of him? Sign me up! I mean, if that yobbo’s royalty, he knows how to handle a weapon, right?” Celestia was straining to remain neutral by this point and I turned to face a speechless Blueblood.
“You shouldn’t mouth off about others, lad. The servants you seem hell-bent on slandering have been very polite to me and my friends this whole evening, something you seem to be unable to do. So, what’s it going to be? Are you going to run away with what few scraps of honour you have or lose whatever respect others have for you after I’m done wiping the floor with you?”

All I got in response was a whimper as he ran away, galloping his chubby arse away from me as fast as he could.

“Thought as much.”

Celestia snickered.
> Chapter 12
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Sabertooth rumbled slowly over the hill as I whistled absent-mindedly, peering through the slit of armoured glass that passed for a windshield in this thing. The armoured vehicle crunched noisily over a fallen tree, bouncing slightly. The engine whined as I gave it more juice and I kept heading for Sweet Apple Acres. The sky was pitch black, though I had negated it by using the spotlights mounted on the tank. After some time, I saw the collection of wooden buildings – dimly lit, of course - and adjusted my heading accordingly. Humming some halfwit sailor’s shanty, I parked the ponderous vehicle right near Jen’s workshop. I didn’t accidentally crush one of Apple family’s carts, no sir, not at all.

Bollocks. I’ll have to fix that later.

Shutting the engine down, I climbed out, nearly breaking off my heat stacks in progress. Need to be more careful next time. The hatch fell shut with a clang as I stretched my arms and let loose a yawn. The newest addition to our motor pool still smelled of dead bits.
That’s what I’ll call the tank. Dead Bits. Yeah. And it’ll be the best damn tank ev-
“James!”

I say again.

Bollocks.

I flinched as Celestia came around the corner of the farmhouse, seeming to be rather pissed.
Well, now.
“Uh, h-“ I tried to start a conversation.
“Silence. You said you’d be at the Gala, yet here you are. Care to explain?” She shot me down before I could even say anything. Way to emasculate me, princess.
“I decided otherwise. I needed some time alone. And you didn’t say attendance was compulsory, now did you?” That struck a chord with her and she snorted angrily.
“I… But… It’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair, lady! Never is and never will be!”
In hindsight, that hadn’t been the best thing to say.

I don’t know what happened after that, but Dead Bits had been a good tank, apparently, arresting my progress as Celestia tossed me like a ragdoll. The impact was less likeable. The sickly crunch of bones and flesh was all I heard as world dissolved into red.

Armour plating may be what the ladies like, but it sure as hell isn’t meant to cushion impacts.

So, yeah. Here we are. Celestia’s profusely apologising to me for grievous bodily harm. My body still hurts like hell as I make random noises of discomfort. I’d say it’d take a couple of hours for my bones to heal. Perks of being a Chimera. With a grunt, I managed to haul myself upwards, ignoring the sharp lances of pain coursing through my chest. Yep. Five ribs, broken. Never mind. They’ll heal. I’ll be fi-
Dizziness overcame me as I vomited blood for a moment.

Okay. Maybe not. Celestia’s horrified at the pool of red at my feet.
“James, stay still. Let me heal you.”
“No. It’ll be fine. Just give me a moment to put my shoulder back in place.” Oh, wait. I can’t. Celestia broke my right arm. She notices that and her horn lights up, an expression of sadness on her face.
“Please, let me do it. It’ll be faster this way.”
“Agh. Fine.” I sighed. She nods and tendrils of gold envelop me as the glow grows brighter with every passing moment. The pain dissipated, too, after a while and I noted that my arm was back in place, too.
“Thanks.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
“I feel like you have an ulterior motive of sorts, though. Why would you just offer us citizenship here simply for being nice? You’re hiding something.” Her face hardens a bit at that.
“Nothing escapes your notice, hmm? Very well. I should tell this to Fred and others as well. I guess you are coming to the Gala after all.”
“B-“
“Yes. You. Are.”
“I-“
“James.” She put some steel in her voice.

I say again.

Bollocks.
“I am not riding on your back, princess.” She blinks surprisedly and I continue. “I’d much rather take the Kingfisher.”
“Very well, then.”
“See? If you wanted me to come to the Gala, all you should’ve done is beat the crap out of me!”
“Don’t tempt me, James. My benevolence only goes so far.”
“You don’t bloody say.” I muttered sullenly, motioning for her to follow me to where the VTOL was parked. “On a side note, Jen’s almost finished with her power core. Says she’s going to stick it in the Kingfisher so we can still use it once the damn thing runs out of avgas.”
“Do tell me how it would work.” We reached the aircraft and I pulled the side door open, Celestia hot on my heels as I took the pilot’s seat and started to flip switches and press buttons.
“Well, you’ll have to ask Jen for that. I don’t know what she’s doing with that damn thing.” The engines came alive. We’d been loath to use the VTOL, for fear of exhausting our non-existent fuel supply, so the fuel tank was still one-third full. With a roar, we set off, Celestia stumbling about on the floor (again).

Not my fault.
Seriously.

Jennifer’s POV

I coughed quietly as I came to a halt in front of Applejack’s food stall.
“Hey, AJ. How’s business?”
“Meh, not too good, Jen. Ah should’ve just left th’stall back at the farm.”
“Hmm. Did you try advertising your baked goods?” Fred ambled up to us then, his cane clanking against the pavement.
“What is this offense to logical thinking I hear? No one is willing to buy your goods, Miss Applejack? I shall fix that immediately!”
“Fred, wha-“
“HEAR YE, HEAR YE! GATHER ROUND, PONYFOLK, FOR HERE YOU CAN PURCHASE THE FINE CUISINE OF APPLE FAMILY!” Applejack and I cringed, trying to cover our ears as Fred’s booming, thunderous voice drew many a pony’s attention. Soon, intrigued by his booming praise of Applejack’s cooking skills, they approached the stall as the Titan proclaimed the stall held the best things since sliced bread. I had to ask myself – do ponies have sliced bread?

Probably.

Nevertheless, Fred’s tactic was working and a small crowd of ponies had already gathered around Applejack’s stall, curious. Good for her.
…
The hell is that noise?

James’s POV

Celestia grunted as she slipped again, her mane a mess and splotches of oil marring her usually pristine coat.
“That’s what you get for not listening to me, princess. I told you to strap in, but nooo, you had to do it your way.”
“Enough of that, James. I’ve only been in this vehicle once before. You can’t blame me for that.”
“I can, however, blame you for not heeding my advice. So that’s what I’ll do. You are not a clever pony. Boo.”
“You are so funny.” Celestia deadpanned, bracing herself against the wall as I finally saw Canterlot – the damn place was alight like a Christmas tree. The Kingfisher shuddered as we passed through a gust of turbulence. Celestia’s crown clattered across the floor as she cried out, once again upended. I snickered and returned my attention to the castle sticking out from the mountain.

Six minutes later

This was getting really, really old. I observed the blood collecting on the cobblestones. My blood.

WHY DO YOU KEEP PUNCHING ME, JENNIFER?

“That’ll teach you, James.” Celestia announced. She sounded like she was smiling. Jen harrumphed in agreement as Bill pulled me upwards.

Soon as I’d gotten out of the VTOL, I’d gotten closely acquainted with the Steelhead’s fist. Again. Bill patted me on the shoulder reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, pardner. You’ll be fit as a fiddle in no time. Nice t’see ya changed yer mind.”
“Not like I had a choice, Bill.” I glared at Celestia. She stuck her tongue out at me. I flipped her the bird.

So much for acting like adults.

We wandered inside the large throne hall – it’d been redecorated for the Gala, with long tables laden with food and an orchestra to boot. Aforementioned collection of musicians was playing some dreary classical music. I quickly sought out Ironbeak, shaking hand-to-claw with him.
“James! Nice to see you here!”
“I guess.” He passed me a slice of bacon, along with a tankard of ale and we soon were talking about various unrelated topics.

Celestia turned her head as she heard someone tap her on the shoulder.
“Oh, hello, Alice. How are you finding the Gala?”
“’s nice, ma’am. Food’s real tasty like. Same goes f’r th’drinks, too. Top notch stuff, that.” Celestia had some difficulty understanding the red-haired Texan’s accent, but nodded graciously, smiling at her compliments.
“I’m glad you are enjoying yourself, miss Bradley.”
“Ah, jus’ call me Alice, ma’am. Actually, I have a request f’r ya.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Ah have a song Ah’d like the orchestra t’play, if that’s ‘kay with ya, ma’am.” Celestia raised an eyebrow at the American’s request, but nodded nonetheless.
“I see no harm in that. You may do so.”
“Much obliged, ma’am.” Alice grinned, walking away, heading for the assembled musicians. Celestia followed at a distance, intrigued at discovering what the human had in mind. Several of the guests followed the alicorn diarch, curious as the orchestra went quiet, Alice passing sheets of paper among them, whispering quietly. After a couple of moments, the musicians struck up a tune, but it was nothing like anypony had ever heard before. After a short while, though, Alice started belting out the words in earnest.

Woah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
Yeah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam

Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam
Damn thing gone wild, bam-ba-lam

She’s always ready, bam-ba-lam
She’s all rock steady, bam-ba-lam

Woah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
Go, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
All right…
> Chapter 13
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jennifer’s POV

As soon as we went through the doors to the throne hall, we were treated to a thronging mob of ponies, all milling about, dancing. Music was playing along at full blast. Everyone was singing, too. Even Celestia was bouncing around happily. Applejack ground to a halt at my side as Fred followed suit. They’d been able to sell all of Applejack’s merchandise, in large part due to Fred’s expert advertisement.
“So, what did we miss?”
“Ah have no idea, Jen.” Applejack muttered, nonplussed. Fred waddled away, grinning as he began to hum good-naturedly. The orange farmpony soon followed suit. I sighed, wandering outside in the castle gardens. After a couple of minutes of wandering about, I became aware of being followed. I knew who it was.

Blueblood.

The word alone brought a fanged smile to my face. That pudgy bastard’ll get his due. And his thugs and cronies as well, while I’m at it. I walked slowly, careful not to give myself away. I’d have to do this somewhere quiet and distant. So further into the gardens it was.

Dead end.

Blueblood’s hired muscle closed in around me. The idiotic noble in question smirked at me, overly self-confident.
“You should’ve apologized when you had the chance, beast. Boys! Show it what happens when somepony crosses Prince Blueblood!”
“Well, since you’re too big of a coward to face me on your own, I guess I’ll be snacking tonight. I know I’m being a hypocrite here, but I’m curious to know what you all taste like. Anyone bring barbeque sauce?” They snarled angrily, lunging at me. They outnumbered me, seeing as there were five of them.
But I was faster. Stronger.

A true predator.

My reflexes and senses ever razor-sharp, I punched the first one out mid-leap, backhanding the second one in turn. The third one tripped over his own legs. The fourth one managed to get through; stabbing his shortsword through my stomach and everyone fell silent. The thug’s victorious leer changed to an expression of terror as I grabbed him by the knee, dragging him closer. The sharpened blade stuck out from my back, but I paid it no heed, fired up as I was by the rush of adrenaline.

I was going to let these arseholes off easily. Slap them around a bit and call them names. That idea died off very quickly. Seizing the offending stallion by his throat, I roared as loudly as I could in his face, punching him viciously. With a sickly crunch, his jaw shattered and I tossed his limp form aside. Number Three scampered away, limping. I guess his ankle was twisted. So I turned to Number Five. He was a kid. I guessed he was barely adult. Well, time to use my womanly charms. Or what was left of them.
“Do you really want to be here, kid? You’ve seen what I can do. Do you want to end up like these sods?”
“N-no.” He stammered pitifully.
“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Be a shame if I cut it short, eh? Run along now.” He sighed explosively, turning about and galloping away as fast as he could. I returned my attention to Blueblood. He gasped in shock as I pulled the sword out of my stomach. Blood dribbled from the wound as it slowly healed, soaking into my suit. I tossed the sword aside. I didn’t need it. Blueblood’s girlish squeal of horror didn’t last long as I leapt at him.

It was a very bloodied and bruised me that dragged Blueblood’s fat arse back to the castle. Every animal is dangerous once cornered. Still, he put up quite a fight. Magic’s handy that way, it seems. The castle guards gasp in shock as they see me come near, dragging an unconscious unicorn with me. Of course, I was soon detained and Blueblood’s carted away to the infirmary.

Three hours later
James’s POV

We followed Celestia through the halls towards, well… somewhere. She was quite annoyed by something. I guessed it was me. I was wrong, as it turned out.

We arrived at another somewhat spacious room, so Fred had no problem fitting inside. We stared surprisedly at Jen, who was covered in splatters of blood. Her suit was torn and ragged.
“Hey, guys. How was the party?” Alice was the first one to talk.
“What th’ hell have y’been up to, Jen?” Celestia answered her question.
“She beat up my nephew.”
“No way. Y’mean that stuck-up snob guy? What was his name, again…?”
“Blueblood.” Jen pitched in helpfully. “I don’t want to sound like a petulant kid, but he started it.” Celestia sighed, trying to remain calm.
“Jennifer, be glad I do not hold that much fondness for him. He has been a constant source of trouble for me. But violence is not the answer.”
“Right.” Jen simply shrugs, picking at her teeth.
“He had it coming, sister. He is a grave insult to the nobility of Canterlot. But you are always so tolerant towards the greedy and vain.” A new voice joined and I saw that midnight-blue alicorn again. She was grinning, at hearing Blueblood’s predicament, I suppose. Nevertheless, she walked over to Jen.
“Other ponies are always wary of Blueblood. But I can see you’re not afraid to confront others. That will be useful.”
“Okay, Celestia. What did you want us here for? You said you’d explain it to us.” I took control of the conversation then. “So how about you go ahead with what you wanted to say?” She glared at me for a moment before turning to face us all.
“You may think that Equestria is a land of constant peace and happiness. That is not so. Our northern borders are always heavily guarded. The Badlands that border there are full of beasts that would seek to ravage our lands.” Ted snickered and that earned him a glare.
“It is by the efforts of our militia and our griffon allies that we have this utopia to live in. Recently, a matter has arisen that we have been requested to help with. A rogue griffon general has defected from the Griffon Empire. Empress Arienda seeks our help to help bring him to justice. So far, we have had no luck. He is heavily dug in at his fortress. Conventional methods have failed to dislodge him. So I turn to you for help. I believe that your weapons and machines will help in this situation. So, what say you, James?”
I turn to face others. Jen’s grinning widely. So is Ted. The Yanks are looking at me expectantly as well. Fred seems to be agreeing with me as well. I turn back to Celestia.
“We’ll do it. Point us in the right direction.”
“Go to the Griffon Embassy tomorrow. Ironbeak will fill you in on the situation. I wish you luck.” With that, she nodded to us all and left.

As I walked down the hallway – others had again taken the train, leaving me to get the Kingfisher back to the farm - I became aware of being followed.

Welp.

I went around a corner and immediately hid behind a pillar, waiting for my stalker to show up. The clip-clop of hooves drew closer with every passing second as I prepared my ambush.
*pounce*
Something slammed into my back, pinning me to the ground.
“I win.” Someone announced, out of my field of sight. I roared in frustration. I was hiding behind a pillar of marble! There had been no one behind me! The weight on my back lessened and I darted to my feet, whirling around to face my assailant. It was that blue mare again.
“What do you want?” I snarl, already annoyed. She chuckles before answering.
“Do not be angry. I only wish to talk to you. I was merely jesting. It is commendable, that you could hear me approaching.” She stuck her foreleg out at me. “I am Luna. May I know your name?”
“James.” I shake her han-er, hoof and she smiles.
“So, what are you doing?”
“Going to the VTOL.”
“Pray tell, what is that?”
“A flying machine.” I’m slowly getting more annoyed by her cheeriness as I walk away, with her in tow. Why can’t you just get the idea, lady? “Look, I gotta go. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me. So, if you don’t mind me, I’ll be going now.” Quick as a shadow, she moved in front of me, her affable cheeriness fading away in an instant.
“My sister may trust you, but I do not. It is by her grace alone that you are not sitting in a dungeon cell. So tread lightly, James.”
“You don’t scare me, princess. Don’t try to intimidate me.” I growl lowly as I lean closer, holding her gaze. “I’ve seen nastier things than a bunch of ponies. Just so we’re clear.”
With that retort, I brushed past her, once more heading towards the Kingfisher.

Next morning

I thumped my fist twice on the large, gilded doors. Mere moments later, it was pulled open by Ironbeak himself.
“James.” He was utterly serious this time. No beating around the bush today.
“Ironbeak.”
“Come in. We can get right to it, then. As you may know, we have had little success in the task our Empress has given to us. Even unicorn mages have failed to smash the walls of the traitor’s fortress. He was wise in his choice of fortifications.”
“Care to elaborate?” He nodded as we walked through stone corridors.
“General Steelclaw. He went rogue recently. No one knows why, but there it is. Whatever we try, we always fail. Diamond Dogs cannot burrow through the granite. Minotaurs always get picked off before they get into range.”
“We can help, then. How soon do you need us?”
“As soon as possible.”
“Hmm.” I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “Jen’s almost finished with that power core of hers. She’ll stick it in the Kingfisher and thin down the remainder of the avgas for the Sabertooth. Methinks we’ll be able to go by the end of the week.” Ironbeak sighs, like a weight had been removed from his shoulders.
“That’s good to know. Once you’re ready, let me know.”
“Will do, mate.”

This was going to be good.
Finally, some blood to spill.
> Chapter 14
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sighed, trying to calm myself. This was the day. Jen had finally finished building the power core and had gone into town asking for Twilight to charge it up. She’d informed Celestia in turn. So it was here, at the Sweet Apple Acres, that the Apple family, Twilight and her friends, Celestia and her sister Luna would watch as the Kingfisher received a new heart, so to speak. Still, none of us had any idea how it’d go down. I sort of expected the damn thing to blow up in Jen’s face.

Jen set the clunky piece of Chimera technology down on a small table in front of Twilight.
“Well, do your magic thing, Twilight. I’m eager to see if it works.” Twilight nodded, closing her eyes and concentrated on filling the power core with energy. Not the magical sort, mind you, just energy at its most basic form. Jen had explained to her that the power core would be self-sustaining – it only needed a spark strong enough to start the self-replenishing reaction.

James’s POV

I hunkered down behind Dead Bits, peering over the edge, watching as Twilight pumped energy into the chunky piece of technology. Celestia was nearby, observing curiously. Luna, ever the mistrustful one, was still eyeing me. Others’ attention was riveted to the power core, however. Jen was tweaking it now and then, her eyes never leaving the dimly-glowing piece of tech. Over the time, though, it started to glow brighter and brighter. Twilight was becoming more and more exhausted, sweat gathering on her brow. Soon, however, Jen cried out in triumph.
“That’s it! It’s working! Excellent work, Twilight!”
Sighing explosively, Twilight cut the stream of magic and sat down to have a rest. Her friends were cheering. The princesses were cheering. Ted was screaming. Snag was latched onto Ted’s face. Tag was howling. Granny Smith woke up. And so on and so forth until the Sweet Apple Acres had descended into utter chaos. I started banging my face against Dead Bits, hoping I’d go unconscious at some point.

Eventually, Luna sorted it all out. With Royal Canterlot Voice. Maybe a tad overkill, but it worked nonetheless. We all congratulated Twilight, but now it was time for the big finale – installing the now-complete power core in the Kingfisher. She’d already gutted the wings of the damn thing, building necessary wiring and motors from scratch. Celestia had provided her with the necessary materials – magnets, copper wire and suchlike for the electric motors that replaced the internal combustion engines. A lot of rewiring had to be done.

As the saying went, it was make or break now.

Jen carefully slotted the cluster of cables into place as she finished installing the power core. A silent, yet noticeable thrum emanated from the Kingfisher as she slammed the cover shut and leapt down, grinning widely.
“Job’s done! Now, then… Let’s see if it really works. Who wants to go for a test flight?” I was already inside the cockpit, waiting as the ones wanting to have a flight boarded the VTOL. Once they had boarded, I started the Kingfisher up, skipping the switches that would be needed if this thing still had its original engines. Quickly, the props started to spin. The power core was far more powerful than the VTOL’s previous powerplants and we were airborne in moments. Rainbow Dash, being a pegasus, was the only one not stumbling drunkenly around like the others. Even though the Kingfisher was loaded chock-full, it still remained remarkably agile. That’d be useful later. After several trials of mobility and suchlike, Jennifer was satisfied with her work and we landed once more near the workshop, where the rest of ponies/humans/Chimera waited. Jen had built a carrying frame for Dead Bits that we could hook to the Kingfisher so we could get to wherever we were headed faster. Together with Twilight, she’d managed to thin the extremely-volatile avgas down to a level it wouldn’t blow Dead Bits’ gaskets as soon as the engine was started. As a result, we had quite a few drums of tank fuel and I made a mental note to take three drums with us to Griffon Empire. 
Earlier on, Jen’d voiced concerns about how we’d bring Fred with us – he was a Titan, after all. Thankfully, that particular problem had been solved by Celestia – she arranged for an airship to take him to the rogue general’s fortress. With a bit of help from the pegasi weather team, they’d already sent the affable Chimera on his merry way yesterday. The rest of us – I, Ted, Jen, Jack, Will, Bill, Alice, Snag, and Tag – would get there with the Kingfisher. With a bit of luck, we’d arrive there at the same time.

Celestia quietly observed as the humans quietly worked. They were field stripping their weapons – Bill explained to her – to ensure that they wouldn’t jam or break down at an inopportune. Personally, she was intrigued in the craftsmanship of their weapons – even though they were machine-made, the firearms didn’t cease to surprise her with their quality. Like griffon cannons, but far more compact and accurate. She had been shocked to see the L23 Fareye in action – that apple had been two kilometres away, yet Will had hit it dead centre. Her wonder only grew when she experienced the neural link herself – it had been as if time itself had slowed down. As far as she was concerned, the human technology was easily on par with pony magic and she came to reflect on how ponies all took magic for granted – it was always there for them, a tool to be used, a weapon to be wielded, or a shield to be carried. But what would happen if it disappeared one day? Equestria would become a tempting target for their foes. Shaking such morbid thoughts from her mind, she smiled and thanked Will for his demonstration.
“Naw, ‘s nothing, ma’am.” He slung the sizeable rifle on his shoulder and picked up the bullet casings from the ground. Those could be reused, he said. She nodded. She understood – they were nervous. It had been a long time since their last fight and they were both anxious and eager to get to the defector’s fortress.

Many a pony looked upwards, seeing the metal machine soar over Ponyville. Some of them knew whom it belonged to and waved at it. Most of them did not. It did not matter. They all looked at it, seeing the sunlight reflect of its windows. Then, they returned to whatever they were doing.

James’s POV

“Hey, James!” Jack spoke up from his seat.
“Yeah?” I answered as Ponyville disappeared from view.
“How long ‘til we get there?”
“If we stick to the route, two days.” It wasn’t the fuel problem – it was the lack of proper maps that would hamper us. Of course, Celestia had provided us with the best ones that she had, but those still were a far cry from modern ones. So, we would guide ourselves by important landmarks, both pony-made and natural. Once we crossed into the Griffon Empire, navigation would be much easier – we were told the newest convoy heading towards the besieged fortress would guide us to there. So all we had to do was reach the closest Griffon settlement and it’d all go smoothly from then on.

Of course, the nine of use cooped up in a single Kingfisher was a recipe for disaster. By the end of the first day, we needed to take a break, seeing as we were ready to start gnawing each other’s faces off. Not only would we get lost during night, we were dead bored, too. So we landed near a small trading outpost. Celestia’s Seal got us some free food – she had told me hours earlier she would grant those seals to courier ponies who had urgent news to deliver – they could requisition just about anything they needed to. Of course, we were a bit more humble – we only asked for some food. Luckily, we even got our hands on some meat – the outpost’s commander had a small stash in case any griffons came along. Once he saw the gilded medal of gold in my fingers, he bowed over twice, scurrying off to gather the foodstuffs we requested. He even offered us beds to pass the night in. I accepted. I had a sneaking suspicion it’d be a while until we’d see a bed again.

Jen’s POV

Others moved aside, rechecking their safety belts as the young griffon hen landed in the Kingfisher. She folded her wings, casting an appraising eye over us all.
“I’ll be honest - when I was told we’d get more support from Equestria, this is not what I expected!” Her voice, strong and clear, easily rose above the engines’ roar as I responded.
“Well, to be fair, we’re not exactly from Equestria, too!”
“I’ll have to ask about that later, then! But this is no time for idle talk! I am Songwyre. Captain Songwyre.” She extended a claw to shake and I obliged. As Ironbeak had explained to me at the Gala, there is much one can learn from a handshake. And, as I shook Songwyre’s claw, I learned her grip is strong and firm. Her eyes were a blazing yellow and her gaze – fierce and unblinking. Everything about her spoke loyalty and confidence. Even though I feel more at ease around any griffon, some of them stand above others. But I’ll stop before I start rambling. Suffice to say, we were nearing the siege site. We’d joined up with the convoy, early in the morning. We’d been surprised but glad to find out Fred’s airship was with them. Ever so often, a griffon would come close to us, curious of our VTOL. There were several griffon airships as well, but those were cumbersome things, armoured but slow. Still, we had to stick with them.

Songwyre was still sitting on Dead Bits – I have no idea why James had called it that way – when we arrived. Jack followed me as we rapelled down to the Sabertooth. I clambered inside the driver’s seat, while he manned the fifty-cal. James’s voice reached me over the radio.
“I’ll have to land you a bit further back - make your way uphill to staging area from there, okay? We’ll wait for you.”
“I hear that, James.” A minute later, Dead Bits was relatively carefully deposited on a clear patch of ground. I could hear the cables and chains clatter across the hull as the Kingfisher pulled clear. I started the engine and the tank surged forward.

James’s POV

Fred was waiting for us as I set the VTOL down nearby. The doors slid open and we pushed through the gaping crowd of griffins towards Songwyre.
“James! There you are!” I grinned, letting him slap me lightly on the shoulder. Songwyre fell silent as she saw Dead Bits approach.
“So, we are all here. I might just as well throw my plans out now, seeing as we’ve got you here. Any advice?”
“Well… proceed with your plans as you intended to, but take the tank and Fred with you – you’ll need the firepower to knock the gates down. I’ll take the Kingfisher with the rest of us and strafe them a couple of times so you can scale the walls safely. I’ll deploy six of us on the gateway to provide overwatch until that’s done.”
“Hmm…” She eyed both Dead Bits and Fred thoughtfully. The latter was fussing over his cannon, adjusting the power cells a bit.
“Very well. We shall do so, then.” Right then, a series of muffled explosions could be heard from the fortress. Cannon fire. Songwyre grinned savagely, donning her helmet and turned to face her awaiting troops.
“Well then, my fellow warriors! For the Empire!” Her words were answered with a bestial cheer and the griffons followed Dead Bits and Fred as they charged the gates. I and the rest of our merry band got back on the Kingfisher and we were airborne in moments.

The besieged fortress quickly grew bigger and bigger in our sights. Bill and Ted opened the side doors and manned the fifty-cals, ready to open fire at a moment’s notice.

This was it. There was no turning back now.
> Chapter 15
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The clatter of the fifties nearly drowned out the rumble of the engines as I swung around, bringing the VTOL to a halt. Bill brought down a group of cannoneers that tried to turn their artillery piece to bear on us. A pair of griffons then tried to board the Kingfisher. Much to their misfortune, Alice, Will, Snag and Tag were present as well. Two bloodied griffon corpses were tossed back out moments later and Ted and Bill kept firing. I saw the distant glow of Fred’s heat stacks as the looming Titan waddled alongside Dead Bits, numerous griffons following them up the road leading up to the fortress. Dead Bits slowed for a moment, its turret turning to face the gates of the bastion. With a distant crump, the eighty-mil spoke and the shell impacted the gates. Splinters of timber and iron flew everywhere, but the gates held. That’s when Fred joined in, his hand-held cannon spitting oversized shells at the already-damaged gate. This time, it stood no chance and the gate was torn from its hinges. With a gleeful holler, the griffons surged forward, swarming inside the fortress. Fred’s thudding footsteps followed moments later, Dead Bits hanging back and destroying several more cannons. Of course, the Kingfisher was still in the air, but the fifty-cals were almost empty by now, so we’d have to land soon.



Leaving the VTOL behind, we ran forward – Me, Ted, Bill, Will, Alice, Snag and Tag. Jack and Jen were still screwing around in Dead Bits, providing overwatch for the advancing forces. There were dead griffons everywhere as we kept moving, trying to catch up with Songwyre and her troops. There were a lot of destroyed buildings here, too – either peppered by cannon fire or Fred-shaped holes, all of it tastefully decorated with more dead griffons. Delightful.
Just as we stopped to take a breather, we were set upon by a dozen rebel griffons that fell upon us from the air. It was by Ted’s timely warning that we weren’t shredded like cabbage. Tag was the first to strike, however, leaping upwards and colliding with the leading one. The griffon yelled in surprise and the two of them slammed into a nearby house as the rest of the pack attacked us.
I would say they handled themselves well, but I’d be lying. Even though the griffons had the edge at close-quarters fighting, we had our guns. My Bullseye tore gaping holes into a heavily-built griffon that tried going for Snag. Others’ Folsoms rattled and chattered as the din of the on-going battle drowned out everything else…



“Sit still, Alice. Don’t make it any worse than it is.” Bill muttered, trying to inspect the cut on her face. Of course, the stubborn Texan wasn’t complying. Blood was smeared across her face as she feebly tried to resist.
“Naw, man, Ah’m fine. Ah just need a stiff drink!”
“Ya nearly lost your eye, Sarge, 'f course you're not fine!” True enough, I could see the long line carved into Alice’s face, starting above her eyebrow and ending about two inches below her eye.
“Ya came this close to dying, ma’am! Now, sit still and let me patch you up!” Ted decided to pitch in then as he rechecked his carbines.
“Y’know, lass, you’re better off listening to him. You’re not Chimera, so one would think you’d be more careful regarding injuries.” Giving a defeated sigh, she straightened out.
“Ah’m not getting past y’all without gettin’ a bandage, am Ah?”
“I would say so.” I muttered quietly, fiddling with my Bullseye. She grumbled, a rather sour expression taking place on her face.
“Fine, then. Ah’ll hold still.” Bill smiled thankfully at that and set to disinfecting the wound. Alice grit her teeth as he dribbled some good old-fashioned hydrogen peroxide onto her wound. Once he had finished with that, he carefully wound a length of bandaging around her face, covering the rather unsightly cut. God, griffons would be all over her in a heartbeat once they saw her. They liked scars. Especially the females. 

Yeesh.

Anyways, Bill was soon finished. Alice stood up, half of her face covered by white bandages, her shock of red hair falling over her pale face.
“Well, that’s your depth perception out of order for a while. Ya take a rest ma’am, y’hear me? Maybe next time you’ll wear your helmet.” Will spoke up from his sniper’s perch on top of a nearby house. He snapped off a couple of shots, nodding, satisfied with the results.
“You guys are no fun. Agh, fine.”
“We should just send her back to the Kingfisher, you know.” I muttered and got approving nods from others. Of course, Alice was stubborn.
“Guys, Ah’m not leaving ya! Jus’ lemme tag along!” She grumbled angrily, standing up and grabbing her Folsom. There was an expression of utter defiance on her face as she stuck her helmet on her head. Then she wavered a bit, the blood loss and dizziness getting the better of her.
“Bloody hell, Alice, you need to take it easy. With one of your eyes out of action, you can’t shoot for shit.” I spoke up again. “Stubborn woman. Fine, you can come with us. Just keep your head low, alright? Be careful.”
“Ah always am, James!” She grinned.
“Despite evidence on the contrary...” Bill muttered, packing up the medical kit up.
“Ah heard that!” Bill merely rolled his eyes at that.

Three hours later

We'd been fighting non-stop this whole time. But it had paid off in the end. About two hours into the battle, we managed to break them – I used the Kingfisher to support the loyalist griffons as we made several daring insertions into various locations all across the fortress. Dead Bits, Jen, Jack and Fred had also apparently done a very good work of supporting Songwyre and her troops. The keep was surrounded by thronging mobs of griffons that hastily parted to let Dead Bits and Fred through to the thick, steel-wrought doors. The last of the rebels were hiding inside, along with their leader.

“Come out, traitor, so that you may at least die with some honour!” Songwyre bellowed mockingly, yet the doors didn't move. Fred coughed quietly – as quiet as a Titan can cough, that is - to draw the griffon's attention. “Allow me and Dead Bits to help out, miss.” Warily, she nodded and waited. Fred coughed again, rubbing his palms together before hefting his cannon as Jen brought Dead Bits' turret to bear. With deafening noise, the two of them opened up on the last defence the defector had. It took them only a couple of moments to blast the doors apart. Fred then pried them wide open, letting the rest of us swarm inside.

The last battle was short, but furious. There were few griffons left inside the keep and we quickly overwhelmed them. In the end, only one big bastard of a griffon was left, still defiantly fighting. As I stepped forward, the rest of Songwyre's troops took several steps back, forming a circle around us. Quickly, he turned to face me, a deep scowl on his face.
“So, you are the one responsible for this massacre. Those mules in Canterlot can't do a damn thing by themselves, can they?”
“Well, truth be told, we were getting rather bored by just sitting on our arses. When Celestia asked us for help, we just had to accept. A bored me is a dangerous me.”
“So, what manner of beast are you?”
“I'm a Chimeran Hybrid. My name is James Willoughby.”
“I am General Steelclaw. And I no longer serve this weak-willed Empire that bows to every whim and fancy of Equestria. That being said, I do not hold any dreams of escaping from here. Let us settle this with honour. We will duel.” I pondered on his words for a couple of moments.
“Nah.” Whatever he was going to say was lost as I squeezed a burst of Bullseye fire that demolished his head. The headless corpse swayed almost-drunkenly, sputtering blood on the ground. A moment later, the late General Steelclaw toppled over. Silence reigned supreme before Songwyre stepped forward.
“That was just about as dishonorable as it gets, James.”
“I know. It's why I won.”



I woke up in the general's personal quarters next morning. There had been a huge celebration last night, right after the battle. We all had gotten very, very drunk. Unfortunately, I remembered all of what had happened last night. Songwyre stirred from her sleep, yawning as she did so and turned to face me, who was already sitting up from the bed.
“Oh, James... You are a mighty warrior, both on the battlefield and in the bed.” She grinned widely and I cringed.
“Not. A. Single. Word.” I muttered sullenly as I stood up, spitting a broken feather out of my mouth.
“Stay with me! Our offspring would be fierce and strong! I would be a good wife to you!”
“Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not your type and vice versa.”
“Oh, I will find you one day, James Willoughby!” She called out after me, her voice sultry and suggestive as I left the room, my belongings clutched in my hands, face burning a bright red. I needed to find the others and skedaddle from here as soon as possible.

That plan crashed and burned very soon. As it turned out, Empress Arienda herself had arrived to inspect the aftermath of the battle. And she was rather curiously inspecting the Kingfisher. Of course, she turned to face our group as we drew close.
“I presume this machine belongs to you. Am I right?” That kind of left us speechless – not really the sort of royalty I had expected, to be fair.
“Uh... Yes. I am James. This is-” The griffon empress cut me off at that point.
“I know what your names are. Princess Celestia informed me several months ago of your presence in Equestria. When Steelclaw deserted, your names were the ones that first came to my mind. I knew you could help us with this... incident. I have not been proved wrong, now have I? Steelclaw is dead. This fortress has been reclaimed. I would say a proper reward is what you and your friends deserve.”

Eh?

“From this moment onwards, you are friends of the Throne. You have free passage across our borders. You may come and go as you please. Should there be any trouble, however, show the troublemakers this token.” She opened a small pouch on her waist and took out ten golden necklaces handing them out to us. Snag chittered, proudly puffing his chest out as the small medallion swung from his tail where it'd been tied to. Tag seemed confused by the tiny disc of gold around his neck. Fred had tied his to his cannon, but thanked Arienda nonetheless. Others did the same. I nearly laughed when I saw the Empress eye Alice quite appreciatively, but I managed to keep quiet. Barely so.



It took us another fifteen minutes to reattach Dead Bits to the Kingfisher. Fred waved us a goodbye as he waddled off to his airship. The rest of us climbed aboard the VTOL and were airborne in a matter of moments. Many griffons waved to us as we turned about and flew off, following Fred's transport.



When we got back to Ponyville, the place was decorated in honour of our homecoming. Apparently some of the weather team had spotted us approaching. Pinkie Pie had been extra excited to organize a party for this occasion, apparently. As soon as we set down on the edge, we were beset by cheering ponies. Celestia, Luna, Twilight and her friends were among them. Fred took it in stride, however, his booming voice echoing in the streets.



“But you must!”
“Naw, miss, Ah’ll be fine! Tha‘s jus’ a flesh wound!” Alice waved off – or at least tried to - the white earth pony, her face still half-covered by the bandages.
“Sit still, you!” Nurse Redheart grumbled, trying to remove the bandaging in question. “I need to see how bad is it. I just hope you won’t be needing stitches. Griffons are vicious fighters.” Alice grumbled, but calmed down. Redheart sighed relievedly at that. “Thank you, miss Bradley. Now, let’s see how bad is it…” Carefully, she cut the bandaging away, using warm water to make removing the blood-crusted fabric easier. Alice winced slightly as she opened her eyes, looking at Redheart questioningly.
“Well? How is it?”
“Hmm. You might just escape getting stitches. Whoever tended to this wound knows their stuff. I’m still going to need to check it for any infections.”
“Ya do that.” Alice muttered.
“Hmm. What was used to clean the wound out?”
“Hydrogen peroxide.”
“I have no idea what that is, but it seems to work just fine. The cut’s clean and there’s no infection. Hmm. Yeah, there’s no need for stitches. The scar’s staying there, though. Nothing I can do about that. That being said, don’t hesitate to come to the hospital  if any problems do show up.”
“’kay. Ah’ll keep that in mind. Should I get new bandages, then?”
“I think that would be for the best. You need to keep the wound clean until it’s fully healed. Luckily for us both, I have some bandaging right here. All I need you to do is sit still. Can you do that?”
“Sure can, miss.” Alice closed her eyes as Redheart wrapped the bandages around the injured half of her face.
“There! That should do nicely for the time being. Come and see me at the hospital after a week and we’ll see how it’s then, okay?”
“’kay. It’s a date.” Alice winked at the nurse, making Redheart blush furiously. “Ah’m kiddin’! Relax!”
“That wasn’t funny!”
“Oh, it so totally was.” Alice snickered, putting her helmet back on. “Well, if tha’s all ya need me for, Ah’ll be goin’.”
“O-of course, miss Bradley. Enjoy the celebration.” Redheart answered, packing up her medical instruments as Alice left.



I turned around, being presented by Fred’s looming figure.
“James. Could I talk to you for a moment?”
“Uh. Sure. Anything wrong?”
“No, but I’d like some privacy. Let’s go somewhere else.”
“Oh… kay…” I nodded slowly and followed him. The noises of the party slowly died off as we put some distance between them and us. What was eating at him this time? I guess I would find out soon.

He sat down on the small hill with a quiet thump. I sat down at his side and we looked at the setting sun.
“Quite a sight, eh, James?”
“Yeah… It is.” I muttered quietly as I looked up at Fred. “So, what did you want to tell me?” Fred sighed, his shoulders sagging a little.
“Hmm… I’m not sure how to put this.”
“Eh?”
“Ah, well. Here goes nothing.” He sighed again. “James, you know that I care for you dearly. And I care about others, too. Jennifer. Ted. Alice. Snaggletooth. Tag. Will. Jack. And Bill. And I have also grown very fond of these ponyfolk. But… you are like my own son to me. And I was driven up the proverbial wall by worry back at that fortress – what if a griffon got the drop on you? What if you were crushed by a collapsing house? I still dread to imagine how I would cope with losing you. I already lost my family – my wife, children, their children – to the Chimera. We all have already lost too much to the Chimera, haven’t we?”
“Well, you have us. You know we’ll be there for you and others. Dysfunctional we may be, but we are still a family… Dad.” He nodded slowly at that and I felt his large arm around my shoulders.
“That we are, Son. That we are. Forged in the flames and trials of war and destruction…”
“Nothing shall separate our mish-mash bunch of misfits.” He chuckled softly at that.
“Indeed…”
As we sat there and watched the sun slowly sink below the horizon, a question came to my mind.

Could Chimera cry?

I certainly was. Not because I was sad, mind you.



As I sit here and write these words in this diary of sorts I’ve been keeping for a couple of weeks, I come to reflect on our life here, in Equestria. The start may have been very rocky, but we overcame that. Against all odds, we managed to settle down in this idyllic land. And, though we were distressed at leaving Earth behind, we would acknowledge the fact that we had done our part in the liberation of humanity.

But enough about that. Things have happened.

Alice and Redheart are together. Neither of them are telling us how’d that happen, but they seem happy enough. Ted made the mistake to mock Alice with the good old-fashioned ‘Sitting in a tree’ rhyme. He’s still wearing a cast on his left leg. Bloody fool. Still, Alice kind of went loco once she found out she had the hots for Redheart. Started drinking – quite badly, too. Redheart was heartbroken. Heh – and we had to intervene. We helped her sort out her feelings and… well, the two of them are now sitting on the other side of the street at Donut Joe’s. That scar on Alice’s face isn’t really standing out as much as I’d thought. They’re laughing. Good for them.
Fred’s still running his foalsitting business. He helps Cheerilee out at the school when he can. Since the news got out that he would work there, kids are just about raring to go to school in the mornings.
Ted’s snarking, as always. With that cast, he can’t do his courier thing. Still, he’s making a living. He helps out at Fluttershy’s place. The meek pegasus has taken quite a shine to him.
Jack and Will are employed at the Sugarcube Corner. With their help, the Cakes’ business is flourishing quite nicely.
Bill and Jen are still at the Sweet Apple Acres. Jen apparently has a thing going with Big Mac, while Bill’s going gaga over one of the Apple family’s relatives – I don’t remember which one, sorry.
Of course, seeing as Jen was very toothy and scary, she asked Twilight for help. I think I’m going to leave the details out of this, but Jen’s now a pony as well. A pegasus, to be fair. She’s happy with Big Mac. Granny Smith’s overjoyed that her grandson finally has a ‘special somepony’, as she so eloquently put it. Then Jen kicked me in the face.
Ouch.
Tag and Snag are still out and about, too. As it turned out, Snag is a she. We came to that revelation when the Leaper in question ran off one day and returned two days later with a group of teeny tiny Leapers. One heck of a surprise, that.
As for me, well… Twilight’s sitting at my side, smiling at me. She’s saying my quill handling needs work. I think she’s right. Doing magic is ve

Ah, sorry about that. I passed out for a moment. Ever since I became a unicorn, I’ve been learning how to use my magic. Twilight’s been immense help regarding that part of my becoming a pony.
Oh, right. I forgot to mention. I’m a unicorn now. I know some of you may be saying that I finally did give up on my humanity, twisted as it was.

Maybe so. But deep down, I’m still me. I’m still human.

And that is what matters.