Cow Days
No matter how hard you try, the river keeps sucking you back down into it’s dark depths.
You can't swim against the current, you can't surface for air for longer than a second, and you can't reach the shore or anything to grab on to.
You decide to simply accept fate, and close your eyes...
You open your eyes.
You can't think very clearly and everything is blurred, but you can smell some herbs cooking.
You bring up your hoof and rub your eyes. The world seems a little clearer.
Looking around, you find that you're in a tent. The idea hits you that the river might have killed you and this is heaven, but you shake it off. You're clearly alive.
The tent seems to be empty except for you. Carefully, you stand up. You don't seem too badly injured from the river - just a few scrapes and cuts where you crashed into riverbed rocks.
You're about to open the tent flap and step outside when you see it being opened by someone or something on the other side.
A pony-like figure walks into the tent. She notices you're awake and smiles.
"Oh, you're awake! It seemed like you might not make it. Our shamans pronounced you dead twice," she says.
You stare at her. You're not sure what she is. Suddenly, you remember that you were exploring the wilds around Appleoosa before you fell unconscious. You'd been told by the Appleoosans that a buffalo tribe lived near to their town.
"Are you a buffalo?" you ask. Only after saying it do you realize you forgot to introduce yourself, which makes you kind of a jerk. "Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you my name." You tell her your name.
"Yes, I'm a buffalo, and you're in the Thunderhooves tribe camp. My name is Little Strongheart," she says. She smiles at you again.
"So, uh... thanks for saving my life," you say.
"We found you washed up on a riverbed... what exactly happened?" Little Strongheart asks.
"I dunno," you say, trying to recall the exact series of events that led to you almost dying.
"Well, I'm glad you're safe now... the tribe will allow you to stay as long as you want. If you need any help getting back to Appleoosa, I can help you with that too. I'm the tribe's scout," Strongheart says.
"Thanks," you say.
Little Strongheart walks back out of the tent into the desert.
You lay back down on the bed you woke up in just a few minutes ago.
"So... this is cool," you think to yourself. "Free transport back to Appleoosa, I didn't die, I'm a friend of a buffalo tribe and I got to meet a cute buffalo girl. This has been a pretty good day, actually."
You pause. "Wait, did I just call Little Strongheart cute?"
The campfire shimmers under the desert moonlight.
You look up at Luna's night sky. The view of the stars from your home in Ponyville is awesome, but out here in the desert it's a truly breathtaking spectacle. Endless multicoloured shining stars glitter the night sky, the moon glowing brightly down and it's sparkling reflection highlighting the desert water.
Chief Thunderhooves himself had come to check on your health earlier in the day, and personally invited you to stay at his camp for the night before heading back to Appleoosa.
You were hoping for some kind of weird desert shrub soup or something, but the buffalo served you some kind of hideous slimy gruel.
Which, upon closer scrutiny, didn't really taste that bad.
You keep zoning out by staring at the night sky, but you're vaguely aware that some buffalo tribesman has been playing a weird sounding song on some kind of weird musical instrument you've never seen before, likely native to the buffalo culture.
As he finishes the song, the other buffalo clap their hooves together in appreciation.
Chief Thunderhooves turns to you. "Why don't you play us a song? It'd be interesting to hear the kind of music they play back in your country... 'Equestria', isn't it?"
You think for a moment. "Sure, I guess," you say. You pick up an instrument that vaguely resembles a guitar.
"Ahem," you clear your throat. You start strumming the guitar-like instrument. "Let's gather round the campfire, and sing our campfire song... Our C A M P F I R E S O N G song, and if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along..."
You notice all the buffalo are staring at you blankly.
"Uh... forget it, actually. I don't really know any songs," you say.
As the night goes on, most of the buffalo return to their tents. Eventually, just you and Little Strongheart are left outside.
Your crush on her has been growing rapidly through the day, and you feel like the more time you spend with her the more you get to like her.
"So..." she starts, "if you want to get back to Appleoosa for tomorrow, we should head off early..."
"Yeah," you say, not really concentrating. You're busy staring into her deep black eyes, watching the way the reflection of the campfire seems to dance in them.
She sits and stares at the ground in silence for a moment, brushing some sand on the ground back and forth with her hoof. She looks up at you and opens her mouth as if she's about to say something, but then stops, blushes and looks back down at the floor.
After a moment, she clears her throat. "So... um, maybe we should get to bed," she suggests.
"I... uh, okay," you say.
You turn and crawl back into the Shaman's tent you woke up in while Little Strongheart goes off to her own tent.
You can't seem to get her off your mind. You have an extremely intense crush on the little buffalo right now.
Looking around to ensure that the tent flap is closed and you're alone, you timidly reach down and place your hooves on your erect, throbbing member and begin to rub up and down...
Ungh... ungh.... ungh...
You think of Little Strongheart's plot as you increase the pace of your clopping.
clop clop clop clop
You imagine her lying on top of you, staring at you with those deep black eyes...
Suddenly, you hear some soft hoofsteps approaching the tent!
You attempt to stop clopping, but you're already at the point of climax! In a frantic panic, you grab a nearby tissue and jizz into it, biting your lip to remain totally silent. You lift the jizz-soaked tissue away from your crotch area just as the tent flap opens.
"Um... are you awake?" Little Strongheart asks as she shoves open the tent flap.
"Uh... yeah?" you respond awkwardly. This is horrible. How are you supposed to look her in the eye after what you just did?
She walks into the tent and starts saying something, but then suddenly her eyes go wide. You follow her gaze and realize with horror that she's staring at your clop-tissue.
shit shit shit shit shit
In an almost involuntary reaction to the horrific situation, you jam the tissue onto the end of your snout and make an excruciatingly fake sneezing sound. "I've got a cold," you say. "The tissue is full of cold-related stuff."
Little Strongheart seems to relax slightly at this. "Oh, right. I thought... I just thought... well, never mind."
She starts talking about something which is probably pretty important, but you can't focus at all. All you can focus on is the tissue you're pressing into your face. The tissue full of your own jizz.
oh sweet jesus please kill me now oh man why the hell is it so warm
Little Strongheart keeps talking, and you still can't focus.
it's in my nose oh my god it's in my nose it smells so gross why the hell is it so WARM oh god it's in my nose
Little Strongheart seems to be blushing and smiling shyly, tracing her hoof across the ground. "So? What do you think?" she says.
Oh shit. You haven't heard a word she's said as you've been too wrapped up in your own soliloquy of the grossness of ejaculatory fluids.
"Uh... yeah, definitely," you say, hoping that's the right answer to whatever she asked.
Her face lights up. "Great!" she says. She walks over and quickly touches her lips to your own.
Woah, what? Where did that come from?
It suddenly dawns on you that you must have agreed to spend the night with Little Strongheart. Normally, this would be a dream come true.
However, in this case, you literally JUST ALREADY DID (mentally, at least). This is a disaster.
Little Strongheart, still kissing you, traces her hoof up your leg, nearing your cock.
'Shit!' you say to yourself. 'What the hell am I meant to do n-'
She suddenly stops. "Your leg, it's..."
She pulls her hoof back and you see a long trail of jizz from your leg to her hoof.
This is fucking excruciatingly embarrassing.
"How... how did...?" Little Strongheart says, totally confused.
"Okay, listen," you say. "I need to admit someth-"
"WHAT... IS... GOING... ON... IN... HERE?!"
You turn to see Chief Thunderhooves standing in the tent flap, furious.
"Agh! Dad, what are you doing?!" Little Strongheart cries.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER?!" Thunderhooves yells at you.
"Nothing!" you reply. "Seriously, we didn't do anything! We just kissed!" For once in your life, you're actually telling the truth.
"Then... WHAT... is THAT?!" he says furiously, pointing at the jizz-trail from your leg to Strongheart's hoof.
"Uh, that? Okay, kind of hard to explai-" you begin.
You don't get to finish the sentence as a huge-ass buffalo chief descends on your weakling ass and messes you up.
You wake up some time later. There's nothing but desert for miles around , and you're bleeding pretty badly... you quickly realize that Thunderhooves must have beaten you into unconsciousness then abandoned you out here in the desert.
"Oh, GREAT," you say. "I don't know ANYTHING about desert survival. I'm screwed."
You decide to try your hand at finding your way to the nearest pony town anyway. Can't be that hard, right?
You slip down a riverbank and fall into a river.
For about the billionth time, you wake up in a daze.
"Now where am I...?" you groggily ask.
"In hospital," a horribly familiar voice replies. You turn to see Nurse Redheart.
"Hi," you say. "Uh... what am I doing in hospital?"
"Several broken bones, almost drowned, a few other things," she says. "At least, that's what the chart says. I hope you're feeling better."
Wow, she's actually being pretty nice. You wonder if maybe, one day, just mayb-
You hear Redheart speak up. "So, anyway, I just had to ask you something... jamming the tissue into your snout? Seriously?" She smirks at you.
What th- Oh, goddamnit. This hospital sucks.