A young man bored with life discovers a mysterious flower shop with an even more mysterious owner who seems to be hiding a secret in a room she keeps hidden from the world. If any of you guys have any ideas you would like to see in the book, send them to me. If I like the idea and want to use it, I will recognize you in the story! This is my first Friendship is Magic fiction, but my 4th book in the making. So I am used to constructive and ad hominem criticism. Please comment, but I won't ask you to favorite, do it if you like it, not because some random text message says to do it.
I was at home alone in my junky apartment in Chicago like I usually am when I come home from work. I work at a family-owned grocery store owned by a gentleman called Dullwin. So because of my job, you can guess I live in a shit-hole. But to be honest, I don’t mind since I like to live frugally anyway. I play videogames and watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on my computer that happens to be on my kitchen table. That’s right, you heard me: I eat where I play Unreal Tournament. I don’t really care what you think though, so keep your opinions to yourself.
Anyway, so I was home alone watching the second season premiere of MLP on my computer enjoying a nice toasted bagel with strawberry jelly when a knock came at my door. Disgruntled, I got up and went to see who could want to visit me at such a late hour. Who could it be other than Mr. Dullwin telling me I got a demerit for being late that morning. I acted very humble and apologized for my iniquity of that morning and told him I would improve. He ranted some more and finally left me to my “I don’t give a fuck what you think” thoughts and, of course, ponies.
Unfortunately I had forgotten to stop the show and I had to rewind a good four minutes and thirty seconds. But while I was watching this particular episode it got me thinking: Discord is very similar to Loki, god of tricks and chaos in Norse mythology. So a background character is a god and the Mane 6 ponies are just mere mortals? Such a thing didn’t make sense but I decided to ignore it and pretend it was just another one of my crazy ideas that probably wasn’t true. I finished the episode then turned in for the night to get some rest for my wonderful job in the morning. I awoke the next morning to my Alex Day alarm clock singing “Forever Yours” in my ear again. Honestly, I don’t know why I made it play that song, but who cares. So I’m on my way to work that morning and while I’m turning an all-too-familiar corner, I spot something I’d never seen before. Across the street a new store had opened; but this store looked anything but new in design. The architecture was, without a doubt, at least 1400’s with dark curtains draped over the two exterior display windows, and a strange sign with lettering I couldn’t make out. As I approached the lettering became clear and said: Mrs. Delicious’ Organic Seeds and Flowers
We lived in the middle of the city; why would a garden shop open here? Ever since the smog effect kicked in because of carbon emissions the sky was gray 24/7 and the only flowers that grew were in the South West and Europe now. I had 10 minutes before my shift started so I decided to go in, but I remembered about being late the previous morning. Instead, I went to work early to earn some trust points with Mr. Dullwin, and then go to the shop after my shift.
At the end of the day, I went to the mysterious flower shop like I promised myself that very morning. When I stepped in the door, almost immediately I felt at peace, because there were meditation candles all over the room. They smelled like Monterey Jack cheese and something else I couldn’t decipher. A small, round lady walked in from the back and tore me out of my trance. “Can I help you with anything, dear?” she asked in a strong South Carolina accent. “I saw your shop earlier this morning, and wanted to come in after my shift at work to see what it was like.” I replied, “After all, the designs on the front of your store are very different from the norm.” The lady smiled and replied, “They should be, I believe I am the only storeowner in town with Gothic 1400’s architecture, and I hope it stays that way.” Bingo, I told you earlier: 1400’s architecture. I will occasionally do segments like this where I tell you what I think about a situation at hand or what someone is talking about; much like the paused scenes with the Duke boys when they jump off a ramp with the General Lee. Anyway, back to the conversation with this weird lady. “That’s very interesting Mrs. ……?” “Oh how rude of me, my name is Mrs. Delicious’ could you not read the sign outside?” “Actually,” I replied, “the sign’s lettering is very weathered and I couldn’t I’m afraid but nice to meet you all the same.” Hahaha don’t belittle me just because I bullshitted an old lady; I mean I’m sure you all would have done the same. “The weathering is actually supposed to be there, but it’s called Dark Ages Stone.” She replied. At this time, I was desperate to change the conversation and I did. “So what is it you sell here exactly, Mrs. Delicious’?” “I sell a wide variety of flowers and seeds for growing your own garden or orchard, dearie.” “But why would you set up shop here in the middle of the city where nothing can be grown anyway?”
“Glad you asked dearie because I can explain that away.” She replied. “Basically, while the city itself does seem at first glance a tough place to grow flowers, and it is, it still isn’t impossible. Once flowers take bloom and begin to grow under my artificial sunlight lamps I have in the back room, I can grow a whole bunch of flowers people can keep in their homes!” “Wow that’s amazing Mrs. Delicious’ but tell me what else is in the back room that I can see? I might consider shopping here once in a while for a flower or two to brighten up my home a bit.” As soon as I said that, she backed defensively up against a door which I assumed led to the “back room”. “Dearie,” she said, “you are never to go in this room because what I have in here is not to be seen with eyes other than my own; do you understand?” I was stunned by how she said those words: very raspy and not at all like the sweet voice of the old lady I heard when I entered the store! But I simply nodded to say I understood and immediately left the shop.
At home that night, I skipped watching some MLP because of the strange events that evening. I simple went to bed but I thought about what could be in that room that was such a secret. I created my own little conspiracy theories about it since it was something I didn’t know the truth to. I hypothesized that she kept a large elephant back there whose dung was used to fertilize her plants, but I dismissed it as unlikely and fell asleep.
The next day I went to work a different route than normal so I could avoid going past the flower store. I immediately knew my day was going to be bad when I saw the old lady herself out by the deserted playground collecting dried grass in a basket. I hurried past her, turned a corner, and entered the grocery store. Punched in, I went to my assigned aisle group, 1-5, and began to sweep the floors. I dropped 4 cans of ravioli and 2 of them busted open. Moaning, I grabbed a mop and began cleaning. By the end of the day, I had dropped 15 more cans and popped a chip bag! I felt depressed and just walked home the usual way, forgetting the old lady and her shop until I came on it.
I stopped and stared at the shop thinking about that door, until finally my curiosity got the better of me and I went inside. The old lady was nowhere to be seen, so I crept up to the door and waited for a sign of Mrs. Delicious, but didn’t hear her. I slowly turned the knob on the door and entered the back room, which was very unlit and dank. I couldn’t find a match so I just walked slowly, groping the walls for support. I finally found another door at the end of the hallway which was ajar just ever so slightly with a small light coming from inside.
I heard a voice, a voice I thought sounded like a little girl. But as I snuck into the room it wasn’t talking I heard, but sleep talking. And it wasn’t a little girl either; the voice I heard belonged to the one and only, Applejack of Equestria.
I was stunned, obviously for the reason of seeing my favorite cartoon character of all time right in front of me, and the reason of why Mrs. Delicious was keeping a real-life Applejack in her back room! Applejack began to stir, which brought me out of my thoughts as I quickly hid behind a dresser in the room. She awoke, yawned, and walked to the very dresser I was hiding behind and opened the top drawer looking for something. She pulled out her hat (Oh man, I love that hat of hers!), put it on, and walked to the door. Just as she was about to walk out, she stopped, and sniffed the air. “Alright, who’s in my room now? I can smell ya, come on out partner and we won’t have any problems!” I was startled, but I came out anyway. We looked at each other for what felt like hours, but must have been only seconds. “How’d ya get in here? Did Delicious let you in?” Applejack is my favorite pony, and because she is known for her honesty, I decided to honor that honesty and come clean with her.
“No she didn’t, I snuck back here to see what it was Mrs. Delicious didn’t want me to see. Now, I understand why she didn’t want anyone else back here.” “Well of course not! Could you imagine what would happen if somepony of the wrong sort, like you, walked back here and saw me? I’m in real trouble now, and it’s all your fault ya hear?” I didn’t like being berated by my favorite pony like that, so I decided immediately to apologize and try to get on her good side. “Look, I’m sorry if my being here is somehow going to get you in trouble but you must understand I was just curious.” “Curious?!” she stormed, “Curiosity killed the cat, now I know ya’ll heard that one before!”
Of course I had, I just didn’t care really but I wasn’t going to tell her that. So instead, I made up a little white lie to tell her. Imagine, lying to the pony who represents honesty, what irony! “OK I lied; I didn’t really come back here because I was curious.” “Oh you can’t lie to me, sugarcube!” “I know when somepony’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes!” I looked down at my feet and knew I was in for it now, when all of a sudden I heard footsteps in the hallway outside. Knowing how many people (err pony and person) lived here; this must have been Mrs. Delicious. Just as I thought, she walked into the room and immediately dropped a platter of hay and water to the floor.
Applejack looked at Mrs. Delicious then back to me. She backed into a corner, almost as if she knew Mrs. Delicious would come to me at that moment like she did. She stared me down for minutes, and then finally opened her mouth to speak. “I told you that what was back here wasn’t for your eyes, human.” “I know what you said,” I began, “and I am so sorry for barging in here like I did, and…..” My voice trailed off as I took in what she said. “Wait, why did you call me a human?” Mrs. Delicious dropped her gaze to the ground, shuffled her feet a little and looked back up at me with the eyes of a sad puppy. “Because you are human and I am not, plain and simple. While I was hoping to keep my identity secret for some time more, I suppose I have to come out now because of my stupid mouth.” With that, Mrs. Delicious turned into my 2nd favorite background pony of all time: Applejack’s cousin Golden Delicious.
“As you can see, we wore these magically enchanted disguises so we could move through your world unseen by the rest of your kind. Applejack’s disguise magic had worn off, and that was why she was kept back here. Otherwise, you would’ve met her as my young daughter, Jackalyn.” I uttered a small giggle at the realization of the not-so-clever names these ponies came up with for their human selves. Golden noticed, and she was not pleased at all. “You think this is funny, human? We have a mission to undertake and now our cover is blown because you were too stupid to just listen!” She continued to verbally assault me until I was in tears and on the ground in the corner. While she is still yelling, Applejack seemed to have a change of heart and yelled at her to stop. Golden, obviously surprised by Applejack’s outburst, ceased to speak and backed away to allow AJ to come to my side.
“While I don’t like you being here and knowing about us sugarcube, you don’t deserve all of what my cousin here was giving you. So I want to ask you something I’ve needed to ask for a while: how did you know my name as soon as you walked in here before my cousin said it?” I began to explain how I’ve watched her and her cousin in the My Little Pony show on my computer and how big she and her friends are in the brony population (which, believe me, was hard to explain to her). After an hour of explaining things to her, Golden even came around and sat by me while I told my story. When I finished, we all were quiet for some time until Golden broke the silence.
“I see how you know us both so well now, and I also see that you are now tangled up with us and our quest in your world.” I must’ve looked stunned, because she immediately began to explain why she, Applejack, and the rest of the Apple family were in my world. According to her, the Pegasus had lost control of the weather in Hoofington, Ponyville, Phillydelphia, and Canterlot. The weather had gone rampant and destroyed all of the Apple family’s orchards. So they went to Twilight Sparkle, who conjured up a portal which allowed them to step into my world to search for a new breed of apple tree resistant to the fierce weather back in Equestria. “Basically,” she continued, “the rest of our family, except Granny Smith and Applebloom, are here in your world somewhere searching for different apple tree varieties to cross breed and get the results we need. And now we need you to come with us and locate our relatives to see if they have completed the mission or not, and if so, to gather up the rest of the family so we can use a scroll that is held by our other cousin, Apple Cobbler, to summon another portal which will take us back to Equestria!”
“Wow,” I said, “feel free to take a breath that was a mouthful!” She laughed, and Applejack looked at me sternly. “This is no time for jokes, sugarcube. We need your help since you know about us now, if you don’t help we will have to lock you in this room so you can’t go telling everypony we’re here.” I agreed right away to help, but I asked where we would be going first. “Glad you asked we’re going to a place I believe ya’ll call Siberia.”
I was shocked to hear that ponies thought they could even get to Siberia. But I was even more shocked because these crazy cousins actually began packing for a trip to Siberia! Applejack threw a suitcase at me yelling, “We ain’t got time to dawdle, pack up something warm for the trip and some food if you wanna snack along the way!” I knew she wasn’t playing around, so hurried to the dresser and pulled out jackets, sweaters, and sweat pants for the trip. Once I finished, the other two had been done for some time and left for the kitchen outside of Applejack’s room. I came upon them emptying the fridge for all manner of non-perishables and water bottles. “We’re gonna need to carry a lot, so come get some food and drink for your pack too, sugarcube!” Again, I listened and responded immediately to Applejack’s order and gathered up food to fill up my suitcase with. Once we finished raiding the fridge, we ran to the door but only to be stopped by Applejack who blocked the way. “I just thought of something,” She said, “We look like us now, how are we supposed to travel outside of the store without our enchantments on?” Golden Delicious looked at me, hoping I had an answer, which, ironically, I did.
“Well, you guys are only 3 feet tall, I could say you are my children and wrap you up in some of the jackets and pants I have.” Applejack looked at her cousin, then back at me. She sighed, “It could work and right now, we don’t have much other choice. Give me some sweatpants and a jacket.” I pulled out two jackets and two sets of pants for the ponies and let them bundle up quickly. I had to help Golden Delicious get her pants on, but Applejack handled herself just fine. Once they were covered, we walked outside hoping to not draw too much attention to ourselves. Golden Delicious thought of a plan to get to Siberia and decided to let everyone know with a loud throat-clearing. “I know you humans use big metal birds to get to places really far away very fast…..” I cut in, “Those are called airplanes, Golden.” “Whatever,” She continued, “the point is we can get one of those and fly to Siberia, wherever that is.” “Actually, we can just buy tickets. We don’t have to hijack a plane.” I said. Applejack agreed that would be the best approach, and we ran as quickly as we could to Chicago O’Hare International Airport.
We were about 10 minutes from the airport, when Golden voiced her need to pee. Applejack was furious with her cousin’s “weakness”. “We don’t got time for this, Golden! We need to get to the airport now!” “It’ll just be a second, AJ! Sheesh, no wonder nobody sits with you at the reunions, except Applebloom of course.” Applejack turned red, but backed down and let Golden take care of her business. When she finished, we continued on and finally arrived at the airport 3 minutes before takeoff. We purchased tickets quickly, ran to the plane, and sat down just as the in-flight movie turned on. Fortunately for me, it was “Footloose” and I loved that movie probably more than I loved myself. The flight was long and uneventful, but what made it seem “different” was a passenger sitting 4 aisles down from us. When we first boarded, I noticed the man but thought he was just another passenger. But as we flew for some time, I began to see him watching us, studying us. It was startling, but I still tried to pay it no mind. When we landed at a small fishing village in southern Siberia called Herknov that man immediately walked over to where we were sitting. My first intention was to grab the ponies and run, but curiosity and fear locked me in place. As he approached, my heart raced and I began to sweat. He didn’t seem to notice, and said “Excuse me sir, I couldn’t help notice during the flight that your child has a brown foot! That is a sign of gangrene around here.” At that moment, I realized Golden Delicious’ foot had slipped out from under her jacket. “Oh, wow I hadn’t noticed, is there a doctor here who could examine her?” I replied nervously. The man looked pensive for a moment while he thought, then said quickly: “There is a man nearby named Doctor Vitaly; he can examine your little girl.” I thanked him, grabbed my “daughters”, and then rushed from the plane onto the icy ground of Herknov.
“Well that wasn’t quite what I expected from being on one ‘a those things,” said Applejack. “Did you know that strange fella? And what did he mean by gangrene?” “He thought Golden was sick because her leg popped out from the jacket and he saw it was brown,” I replied. Applejack tried to speak, but I hushed her and we walked briskly to town. I asked a local where a decent hotel was, but he just laughed and walked away. Eventually, from asking enough of citizens, I learned small towns in Russia like this one don’t have hotels. Instead, they stay in small, family owned lodges usually located at the water’s edge.
I took the ponies back to the outskirts of town where we got off the plane and asked the landing engineer if he knew where one of these lodges was located. He said he did and pointed to a small black dot in the distance about a mile away. The ponies and I began the trek, and Golden started to Applejack about something. I couldn’t hear them since they were whispering, but once they finished talking; Golden turned to me and said: “Do you remember what that weird guy on the plane was talking about?” “Sure, he said something about going to see a doctor. “ “Yes and what do doctors do?” she asked. “Well they help people get over sickness.” I replied. “Do we have to spell it out for you, sugarcube,” Applejack cut in, “That doctor could have makeup equipment to disguise ourselves with!” I thought how she crazy she was sounding, and then I remembered that after I had my own nose surgery back in 8th grade after Austin Poff hit me, the doctor gave me some makeup to cover up the scars after surgery. “I get you, we go to this doctor and see if we can snag some of that after-surgery makeup stuff to make you guys look more like humans with human skin color, right?” AJ and Golden nodded in unison, and I knew what we were going to do the next morning. After we took care of that little “business” we decided to strike up a conversation about the differences between our worlds, and Applejack talked about how wonderful it would be to go home after they finished their job here. She still didn’t fully trust me yet, I could tell. But this was living, breathing honesty, the most dependable of ponies. I couldn’t imagine her wanting to use me so she could get what she wanted; it just didn’t sound like her. I dismissed the depressing thought as yet another one of my crazy ideas, and kept quiet the rest of the way to the lodge.
When we arrived, the owners, Mr. and Mrs. Baskov, greeted us warmly and ushered us inside. “You 3 must be tired, how far did you walk,” asked Mr. Baskov. I told them we only walked 1 mile to get here, but Mrs. Baskov began to panic about that. “My word, you travelers are awfully brave to not only walk here, but to walk such a far distance!” “Why? Is there something dangerous about that road?” I asked. “You all are definitely travelers then,” said Mr. Anatoly, “otherwise you wouldn’t have said that.” Mrs. Baskov went into the other room to get the keys for our room and to make some hot cocoa. Mr. Baskov began to tell the story of what had been occurring in the area for some time. Apparently, there was a йети, or yeti, that had been attacking travelers on any of the local roads outside of town. However, he would only attack travelers in groups less than twenty, and only at dusk. So I began to see why the Baskovs were concerned over us. Mr. Baskov continued to tell about how numerous bounty hunters had come through Herknov asking about the yeti. A bounty of 100,000,000 Rubles had been put on the yeti’s head-that’s a little over 3 million U.S. dollars! “Why is the bounty so high?” I inquired. “The yeti has been attacking and killing for almost 4 years, now. The beast has killed 4,500 people, so the bounty is high for a reason.” He replied. I was stunned, but let him continue the story. Many bounty hunters and trappers had come to kill the beast, and all have not returned from the hunt.
One man, who was thought to have the skill and ability to kill the yeti, also came. He was a popular Russian hunter named Boris Aleksandrov. This same man also was a T.V. show host for his own program-“Hunting on the Tundra.” “But this man wasn’t like any standard hunter,” said Mr. Baskov, “this man actually did hunt dangerous animals as a hobby, so it was thought he could actually kill the yeti. Unfortunately, when he went out, he didn’t come back either.” So he finished the story with the hope that someone would be able to come and kill the yeti, and bring back their son, Viktor. “Your son went to go hunt the yeti, too?” I asked. “Yes, and he hasn’t returned either, so it is our hope that another hunter will come to kill the beast and rescue our child, if he still lives.” At that moment, Mrs. Baskov returned, and the ponies and I went upstairs.
“Wow that’s pretty crazy what’s been happening here. I never thought yetis exist!” I said. “They exist in Equestria though. As a matter of fact, the Griffins had to remove a herd of them that holed up in their mountains.” said Golden. I thought about what Golden just said, and what Mr. Baskov said about his lost boy and the hunter. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we didn’t try to get that boy and the hunter back here, dead or alive.” Applejack and Golden looked alarmed, and replied in unison: “Are you crazy? That thing will skin us alive and swallow us whole!” “Well, Golden just said the Griffins had to get rid of some of them. Obviously you have had contact with the Griffins in their domain then, yes?” I replied. Golden looked nervous, but said: “Yes I have, but what is your point?” “My point is this,” I replied, “You know how to get rid of a yeti don’t you?” She knew I was telling the truth, and while she didn’t want to do it, and I could tell she REALLY didn’t want to do it, she nodded her head.
“Then it’s settled, we’ll go to town in the morning and get what we need to go get that boy and the hunter back, and anyone else that may still be alive!” Applejack must’ve thought we were crazy, she just shook her head and walked into her room. Golden walked into hers, and I retired to mine for the night. We had a long day ahead of us in the morning, and I feared what the future would hold for us should we fail.
