I Love Her

by Derpsanddinks404

First published

The diary of a mare who loves a mare who loves an abusive stallion

This is the diary of Lyra Heartstrings, a mare who is in love with her friend, Bon Bon. Problem is, not only is Bon Bon ignorant of her friend's love, but she's only into stallions and would reject Lyra, even if they've been friends since fillyhood. In order for Lyra to keep her sanity, she frequents writing about her love in her personal diary she never shows any pony. What happens, though, when Bon Bon marries a stallion who abuses her, and Lyra cannot do anything about it for fear of her friend hating her for ruining her marriage?

A/N I'm not one for F/F shipping (No, I am NOT a homophobe, I just think it's too, er, weird and unrealistic) and definitely not one for Lyrabon, but I just had this stuck in my head and wanted to give it a shot.

Dear Diary- Part One

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Oct 12, 2004

Dear diary,

I just don't get it. Every time I'm around Bon Bon, I feel... warmth. She makes me happy, and not like how a friend makes you happy. The way she smiles, the way she laughs, the way she gets me- it's all so... beautiful. Oh God, what am I saying? I can't be in love with my friend, let alone my mare friend. Who ever heard of two mares in love? Heh, that'd just be weird.

-Lyra


Oct 17, 2004

Dear diary,

I STILL don't get it! I know this can't be love, we're only friends for God's sake! But yet, it feels like love. What's going on? Why do I feel this way? Do I love her? No, no I don't. I can't.

-Lyra


Oct 24, 2004

Dear diary,

Okay, so maybe I do love her. Who cares? Who cares if I, a mare, am in love with another mare? Anyone against it can go buck themselves. I love her, and I feel fine. Problem is, she doesn't know I love her. And to top it off, not only is she into stallions, she just yesterday got a coltfriend, Caramel Apple. Yes, that's right. She's dating that good-for-nothing cousin of Applejack who's known for being a drunk. I tried talking her out of it, but she completely ignored my warnings. I guess I should be one to know about love being blind. Still, if he lays one hoof on her in a fit of rage, and I'll kill him.

-Lyra


Oct 31, 2004

Dear diary,

Happy Nightmare Night! Or, at least, that's what I would say if Bon Bon hadn't declined my party invite to go make-out with that hillbilly piece of manure at his friend's party. I bet she's getting drunk with that loser and getting to second base with him. I just hope she doesn't get pregnant with his dumbass seed. Last thing she needs is another mouth to feed. I feel bad enough she has to do all the work until I can find a better job than being a streetside lyre player. She's so kind, no wonder I love her. I just wish she'd open her eyes and grow some standards.

-Lyra


Nov 14, 2004

Dear diary,

Sorry it's been a bit. I just thought I'd relax a bit, y'know, take a break from my newfound feelings. Man, love can be tiring sometimes. I worry and worry about her, but all I needed to do was chillax and let her live her life. So what if she dates Caramel? He's not all bad, minus the drinking. He has his sweet moments (no pun intended), and overall can be pretty good when sober. Too bad he's only sober from 4am to 8pm. After that, drunk Caramel comes out like a nocturnal demon. I only hope for Bon Bon's sake he cuts back on the cider soon.

-Lyra


Nov 23, 2004

Dear diary,

Overall, this week's been pretty nice. Bon Bon and Caramel are getting more and more serious. I personally think they're going a bit fast. But as long as she's happy, I'm happy. I still wish we were happy together, though...

-Lyra


Nov 30, 2004

Dear diary,

Well, I'd like to personally thank Bon Bon for asking me if Caramel could move in with us. He's sleeping in her room, with his own bed (which, I suspect, he barely uses) and share of the rent (which I KNOW he barely pays). Although, he's not that bad of a guy as long as he has apple juice and not apple cider in his hooves. Believe it or not, though, he doesn't get as drunk as the local gossip says. And I guess I can't stay made at Bon Bon.

-Lyra


Dec 10, 2004

Dear diary,

I finally got a job working at a restaurant called The Hay Stack. The pay's alright, it's the customers that piss me off. "Miss, I asked for no ketchup," this and, "Miss, I asked for DIET water," that. Seriously, no pony ever stops annoying the everliving crap outta me with their little imperfections. It's a bucking local restaurant, not a bucking 5-star restorante. Oh well, as long as I can take care of myself and relieve Bon Bon of my lazy ass it'll do.

-Lyra


Dec 15, 2004

Dear diary,

Hey, guess who discovered egg nog has alcohol in it? I'll give you a hint, he's now chugging it down like water and getting drunker than an Irish sailor. Bastard stole the stash I'd hidden since last year. "I didn't know it was yours. Sorry," he says when I approach him. Yeah, I'm willing to believe he just "accidentally" came across it while walking in my room and opening the trapdoor on the floor next to my bed. I swear he could smell alcohol from a mile away when he has his withdrawals. Oh, did I forget to mention he's "trying" to sober up. Yeah, and I'll be a dragon one day.

-Lyra


Dec 24, 2004

Dear diary,

Hearth's Warming Eve. The time when Bon Bon and I usually spend all night at Pinkie Pie's annual Hearth's Warming party. Don't get me wrong, though. She did come, just with HIM. Not even kidding, every time I looked at them, they were either making out or borderline bucking. Bon Bon's never been this slutty with any other stallion. I hope he's not drugging her or getting her wasted to the point where she acts like this. She needs to snap out of it and stop acting like his whore. I'd never treat her this way...

-Lyra


Jan 1, 2005

Dear diary,

New year's day. A time for celebration, renewal, and spending time with your special somepony, giving them the biggest kiss of the year. Unfortunately for me, Bon Bon's lips were locked on the stallion she just agreed to marry. He had bent down and asked the question on 3 in the countdown, and she said yes at, what else but, midnight. What better way to start off the new year than finding out the mare of your dreams is marrying her dumbass boyfriend? Of all the stallions in Equestria, she chose him. Great. Happy New Year!

-Lyra


Jan 10, 2005

Dear diary,

February twentieth. That's the wedding. And it's also the soon-to-be worst day of my life. So much for an engagement. I've never heard of a month long engagement. Although what do you expect from the couple that moved in in less than a month? Right now, Bon Bon and Caramel are out looking for the outfits they'll wear on their "special day". Dammit, why doesn't she know I love her? Why doesn't she love me?

-Lyra


Jan 21, 2005

Dear diary,

Bon Bon just asked me to be the mare-of-honor. As much as I disapprove of this wedding, I was honored and of course said yes. Now I'll have to look for a dress myself. I figure Rarity could help me with that. Speaking of dresses, I also helped Bon Bon pick her dress. She looks so beautiful. So, so beautiful...

-Lyra


Feb 12, 2005

Dear diary,

I just got back from the reception at Sugarcube Corner. During the wedding, Caramel was surprisingly sober the whole time. He also didn't look too shabby (hey, just because I'm in love with a mare doesn't mean I don't like stallions). Anyways, they said their vows, kissed and wore the ceremonial hoof bands, as is tradition. I have to admit, I did doze off now and again, pretending I was in Caramel's place, kissing Bon Bon and proving my love, while also having her love me back. Nonetheless, they seem to be a good couple, and I wish them the best on their honeymoon to Canterlot, despite my passions.

-Lyra


Feb 19, 2005

Dear diary,

I'm running out of space to write in here, and I plan on stopping this after this entry anyways. I mean, what am I, twelve? Today Bon Bon and Caramel just returned from Canterlot and mentioned that they had the time of their lives. They even found the perfect house there and plan on moving in in a month. I'm glad she finally found the one she loves, even if it isn't me. I'll always love her as more than a friend, wether she knows it or not. I'll miss her, but I know we'll see each other again. I'm just enjoying our last moments living together and daydreaming that it's more than that. I'm also going to miss writing in this diary, but I may get another one soon anyways. As always, over and out,

-Lyra Heartstrings