Deadpool and Pinkie Pie decide to have fun adventures through time and space. Time to raise big hell
What do you mean we've been canceled! AD17: I lost the ideas, so we're retconning to another possibility. I'll kill you! AD17: Gangnam Style. Op, OPOP, OPA GANGNAM STYLE! Wait, where'd he go?
It was a normal tuesday afternoonish time for Deadpool, he had finished a job and wanted food, so... CHIMICHANGAS!
"That's right, author who is not really awesome."
Right... so Deadpool was eating his chimichangas at his headquarters (which was really just a motel room on the second floor), when all of a sudden, Taskmaster!
"What!"
The door burst open, revealing Taskmaster.
"WADE!!!"
"Tasky! How are ya? Did you miss me?"
"You're a dead man!"
"Why?"
Taskmaster lifted a photoshopped photo of Taskmaster shuffling with Dr. Dre.
"What! It's awesome!"
And bitchin'.
"I hate hip-hop! You're dead!" Taskmaster pulled out a Glock 20 and aimed at Deadpool's face.
"Oooo, I'm so scared. Bye!" Deadpool jumped through the window and onto Taskmaster's minivan. Needless to say, Taskmaster was pissed.
"My car! You are fucked Wade!"
"I don't care!"
Run Wade, run!
And save the taco stand!
Deadpool got off the damaged van and high-tailed it, Taskmaster following, and soon bumped into who else, but Tony Stark.
"What the... Wade. What are you doing?"
"Tony, buddy! Good to see ya. Umm, gotta go now, l8r!"
"Did you just say L Eight R to... and he's gone." Tony said as he looked to where Deadpool was just at.
Taskmaster soon came up. "Where did Wade go?"
Tony stared at Taskmaster for a minute and said, "I don't know, but I did see him pass by. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink." Tony went into the building next to him, which was incidentally, a Stark Industries building. Taskmaster decided he'll kill Wade later, so he went away.
In the building, Tony went to his penthouse suite and got a bad welcome.
"We showed him, eh Iron Man?"
"Deadpool, how'd you get in?"
"I used the elevator."
"Only I can use the elevator to reach my penthouse."
"How, and why?"
"Fingerprint scanner, so guys like you won't get in uninvited." Tony said as he walked over to the minibar.
"That's stupid!"
"No, that's sane. Unlike you." Tony had poured himself a glass of brandy to relieve the incoming stress from Deadpool's talking.
"Hmm, yeah, you're right. Now, I want to go into an alternate universe!"
"May I ask, why?"
Yeah, why Wade?
"Because I feel like it."
Tony stared at Deadpool for a few good moments and said, "You feel like it?"
"Yeah, I feel like it."
Tony pinched his eyebrows together. This guy can be so moronic sometimes, it hurts my head. He then got an idea.
"You know what, if it'll get rid of you, I'm for it!"
"Sweet!"
Tony activated a switch, revealing a huge device out of the wall.
"Stark-tech Transference device, It'll give you a new power for a year."
"Why a year?"
"Because a month is too short for a few people. Now, I'll set it up so it'll give you interdimensional travel abilities."
"Great, hook me up!"
"You sure, It'll hurt... a lot!" Stark said with a smirk.
"Pain is weakness and piss coming out the body! Or was it a warning to say, 'not good!'?"
I'm guessing the former.
I'm guessing the latter.
"Fine, hop in Wade!"
Deadpool went into the device and was strapped in. Tony made some last minute adjustments.
"You ready?"
"I am! ¡Soy! Я! Je suis! Ich bin!"
"Stop right there Wade, I don't need to hear you say 'I am' in ten different languages."
"Fine! Spoilsport."
Tony hit the switch and the machine turned on, and gave Deadpool a painful shock.
"OWEE! It hurts." Deadpool said in a whiny tone.
"I told you, and you also relieved yourself apparently."
"Wait what? Aww, who peed on me?"
"That would be you."
"Now how can I pee on myself when I'm here?"
Tony gave Deadpool an incredulous look for a few minutes. "Nevermind, just think about it and you'll teleport to another dimension."
"Okay, here I go! Get ready!"
Deadpool thought of going to another universe and then faded out of existence.
"Finally, now I can..."
"Stark, Stark you there?" It was a call from Nick Fury, the curator of S.H.I.E.L.D. on Tony's comms system. Tony answered the call.
"Yes Fury, I'm here."
"Good, You're needed to go find Deadpool for questioning."
Tony widened his eyes, then asked, "Why?"
"He's connected to a high-profile crime committed two hours ago."
Tony became nervous. "He, umm, went to another dimension."
Nick Fury paused for a moment, "He went to another dimension..."
Here it comes.
"And you didn't stop him!"
And there he goes.
Pinkie Pie was just having another fun day. She just got a 1 year vacation after so many years of working at Sugarcube Corner. She was spending it with all her friends at Twilight's library.
"So girls, what to do today?"
"I don't know, travel?" Twilight suggested.
"I don't know, I went around a lot before moving into Ponyville."
"You, traveled a lot?" Asked Rarity.
"Yep, I was like 'Staying in one place is boring.' so I traveled." Pinkie Said with a giggle.
"Wow Pinkie, Ah never would have guessed." Applejack said.
"Yeah, me neither." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Really, I mean, really!" Pinkie said with an incredulous look on her face.
The other girls nodded.
"I can't believe you girls wouldn't think I'd want to travel. You know what, maybe I'll see If I can go to a distant, faraway place, so that I can have fun!"
"Pinkie, how would you do that?" Twilight asked. At the same time, a figure faded into existence in the center of the library, scaring the mares. It then spoke.
"Hmm, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore."
Nope.avi
We don't have the link.
Damn it all!
"Whatevs, what do we have here?"
Deadpool looked around to see six colorful ponies.
"Wow, ponies."
Rainbow flew up and took a fighting pose. "You're not going to hurt us!"
Deadpool took it as a challenge. "You wanna fight! Let's fight!" Deadpool took out his katanas, "LEEROY JENKINS!"
There was supposed to be a fight, but I was just told that nopony must die, so instead, you get this.
"WAIT!"
The two turned to Pinkie Pie.
"Why must we fight, we should have a party for that new creature here, he seems fun!"
"You got Chimichangas?" Deadpool said as he began to put away his swords.
"Yeppers!"
"I'm game! I'm so flexing game!"
"Flexing?" Twilight asked.
"Better than fuck, right?"
Twilight stared at the tall creature, and said, "Right, better..."
"I don't plan to stay though, I want to explore the multiverse!" Pinkie perked up.
"Explore?"
"Yeah, you wanna come with?"
"Yeah I do!"
Twilight pulled Pinkie closer to her. "You sure you want to do this, we only just met him."
"Twilight, I am sure it's gonna be fun. I trust him!"
"You trust him? He just got here!"
"The author is not gonna stop until you let the pink pony come with."
"Yeah, I'm coming with!" Pinkie said, impressed Wade can break the fourth wall as well.
"Sweet, I'm Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool."
"Well I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie Pie!"
"Nice, let's go! I got pizza in my hand somehow, and I want to go now!" Deadpool said as he held out a pizza slice in his left hand.
"Let's go!"
And so, Deadpool hopped onto Pinkie and the two faded out of existence.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked. The others just shrugged, also confused at what just happened. I hope Pinkie is okay.
Oh don't worry, she'll be okay. I promise.
Pretty big promise there.
I agree.
-In the space stream-
"What now?"
"How about into that world?" Deadpool said pointing to a world where a guy in red with a hardhat and goggles was standing by a sentry gun-ish device and a blocky thing.
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
(A/N I noticed that people had a hard time reading Deadpool's lines, so here a suggestion, change from light to dark. Enjoy!)
Dell Conagher, better known by his teammates as the RED engineer, was just sitting by his sentry nest. He was keeping a watchful eye on his Sentry gun and his Dispenser. They were built into the intelligence room in 2fort. One of the worst things to see was a spy come in and ruin one's work, so he brought a Frontier Justice, a Lugermorph, and a Jag to help with his buildings. A RED demoman, known as Tavish Degroot, already laid out a few traps with a Scottish Resistance, and was staying in the room with the Texan. The two began to speak.
"So Engie, ya think we have a chance to win 'ere?"
"I hope so, it's not like a new guy is gonna appear out of nowhere and help us, right?"
Speak of the devil, a man appeared out of nowhere riding a pink pygmy horse and was holding a half eaten pizza slice in his hand, which made the two mercenaries look in confusion, but they had seen weirder. The man began to talk.
"Alright, where my second chapter at?"
"I dunno!" Said the horse.
Tavish looked at his bottle, then at the duo that just appeared, then back at his bottle. He then said, "I've got to drink less."
Engineer also expressed confusion. "What the hell is going... did that horse just talk?"
"First off, she's not a horse, she a pony. Second, we're hopping from dimension to dimension, and this our first stop. Deadpool started off.
"Yeah, what he said!" Pinkie said.
The two killers looked at the two travelers, before a soldier, whom dubbed himself as Jane Doe, walked in.
"What are you..."
"HOLY CRAP!" Deadpool then shot the soldier in the head, revealing the man as a BLU spy. The two killers were shocked, as was Pinkie Pie.
"How the bloody hell did ya know he was a spy?" Demoman asked in a surprised tone.
"He was a spy?"
"Yeah. He was..." Tavish said, before downing his entire bottle of moonshine in one go. Engineer then got a thoughtful look.
"Hey buddy, we could use you. What's your name?"
"Deadpool, I also go by the merc with the mouth! The guy who won't die! The badass of the..."
"Alright, alright, I get it! Who's your steed?"
Pinkie shook herself out of the shock of Deadpool killing a man and began to talk in nervous tone. "I'm Pinkie Pie, and I love to party!" Pinkie finished the last of the sentence with no lack of enthusiasm.
Dell just stared, and then said, "You know what, ya'll just stay here, and I'll call mah boss. Kay?"
"Alrighty!"
"Sure, why not?" Deadpool asked.
"Good, we'll go in 'bout 15 minutes, alright."
"Ahh, what! That long?"
"That's boring."
"Well, we're working."
"This is work?" Asked Pinkie Pie.
"Yep, we got to..."
We have got the intelligence.
A few seconds later...
We have dropped the intelligence.
"Dammit, I would have celebrated just getting it halfway through." Engineer said.
"Aye, me too laddie!" Demoman said.
"Umm, why?"
"Because Deadpool, here in 2fort, nothing ever gets done but killing. We try so hard but we can't get the intelligence here or lose the intelligence over there." Engineer said in exasperation.
"Hmmm..."
Wade, you're not really thinking...
Oh, yes he is!
Oh God, why?
'Cause we're under a contractual story written by the author.
"Right Yellow Caption Box! We are!"
"Who are ye talking to?" Demoman asked.
"My peeps in the comics up 'dere!"
Demoman looked confused, but decided that he might be as insane as Pyro. God was that guy... girl... person insane.
"I am going to kick all the ass!"
No, you're not Deadpool. You're an unauthorised personnel, and you have to be terminated.
"Helen, wait." Engineer wanted to see what the two could do.
Why should I?
"Cause, they might be the only ones that might end up breaking the stalemate here."
Really? I'll have to see for myself. Very well, you two, go to the spawn room so you can have check-ups.
"Alrighty, how do I get there? And also, you got yogurt?"
We have no yogurt, but the spawn room is up the staircase and you should see it. Now get out my face so I can see these morons kill each other. 'Helen' began to laugh a bit.
"She seems to be a grade S bitch, ehh."
"Even S-rank's too low for her pardner. Head on out, and watch out for our medic."
"Why?"
"Yeah, why?" Pinkie asked.
"He can be... a little eccentric."
"So can I!"
"Ditto."
"Just go."
Deadpool fired his weapon again, killing a cloaked spy who was just at the intelligence.
"Nice shot."
"Thanks. To the Deadpool Cave!"
"Heck yes!" Pinkie said as the two rushed out the room. Tavish began to speak again.
"Why are we helping those two?"
"Because..." Dell started off, "they may help us win in 2fort for once."
Tavish got a skeptical look, but decided there was little point anyway for arguing.
-15 minutes later-
"I cannot believe it was another bloody tie!" Demoman groaned.
"I know Demo, the spies were a bit less predictable for once, so that's good." Engineer said.
The two packed their stuff and the two went over to the spawn. They saw the rest of the gang looking at both newcomers when then came in.
"Vhat is vith zat mask?" Medic inquired.
"Lemme show ya." Deadpool took off his mask, showing his hideously disfigured face. Most of the crew got a little sick, Pinkie got very sick, and medic...
"Oh wow! Zat is such beautiful scars."
"Yeah, it is cr... wait what?"
"Umm, Medic." Engie said.
"Vhat is it?"
"Let me introduce you to Deadpool..."
"Check me out."
"...and Pinkie Pie."
"Hello!"
"They are dimensional travelers."
"Really!" Medic started off. "Zat is very interesting! Tell me, how did you do it?"
"A guy named Tony Stark gave me the ability to travel between dimensions for a year, today."
"Tony Stark... I'd like to exchange notes from him one day. In the meantime, I'd like to know how Pinkie looks like... on ze inside.Mhh hh hh ha."
"Deadpool, he's kinda creeping me out."
Spy decided to speak up. "Well, he also has a head of an enemy spy in his refrigerator."
"Really?"
"Yes, and he is still alive."
"How?"
I wanna know! I wanna know!
Me too.
"He uses a contraption zat keeps it alive."
Deadpool deadpanned. "Seriously, boring!"
Spy got a amusing confused look. I thought zat would make him seem... "You done quite a lot, haven't you?"
"Yep, I traveled through space and killed a lot of assholes and pedophiles."
"Pedophiles?" Pinkie asked.
"Yeah, don't ask. I wonder if my game's out yet though."
"Whoa man..." Scout said, scooting closer to Deadpool to whisper in his ear. "don't be breaking the wall like that."
"Fuck you, I do what I want! And no, this is not a 60's Spiderman reference."
"Whatever, put your mask back on, you're creepin' me out, brotha."
"But I'm pretty."
"Just do it, moron!"
"Fine." Deadpool put his mask back on, Soldier had a thoughtful look.
"Maggot! Tell me how you got those scars."
"Cancer. It's been altered so it heals, rather than kills. Makes me butt ugly, but I can do crazy, shit-your-pants action more often as a result." Medic perked up at the fact that Deadpool's cancer was ironically keeping him alive, rather than killing him.
"Really, no 'loss at the hand of a really big asshat.' Soldier started off. "or 'lost a limb, sew it back on.'?"
"Both actually happened a lot of times actually."
Soldier just stood there. "Are you American?"
"Canadian."
-23 seconds later-
"Jesus, I say Canadian and he tries to strangle me." Deadpool just dislocated Soldier's shoulder, and was talking to Pinkie Pie.
"I know! He's a meany, mean, meany-pants!"
"Yeah! He is a..."
Attention! Deadpool, against my better judgement, you are hired on a half billion dollar a year salary. You're pink friend however is not. But I'll let her live if she keeps quiet.
"What year is this?" Deadpool asked the Heavy.
"It is 1969."
"I'M FUCKING RICH!"
Not yet, you must get a check up from the medic, and you'll only get paid if you work for a certain amount of time, 8 hours.
"Fine, check me up doc."
"Oh ja, ja. I vill. Oh I vill."
"How can you heal so quickly?" Medic said, confused about how Deadpool healed from the Medic's internal organ check almost instantly.
"Just help me doc. I don't mind you checking my prostate or anything though."
Medic just got a exasperated look. This man vill make me insane!
Poor guy.
Thinks he can help Deadpool.
He's more like checking his health.
Medic took out an uber-device. "Now then, I'll put zis device in your heart. Okay?"
"Sure, my chest is ready!"
"Lay down."
"Kay." Deadpool laid down on the table, while Medic prepared to bring out a tool.
"Hey doc, how are you gonna open my chest?"
Medic took out a chainsaw, and reved it up.
"Oh, that's how."
Heavy, Sniper and Pinkie Pie were outside when they heard a noise.
"What's that?" Pinkie asked.
"Bloody hell, if the doc's actually using the chainsaw, Deadpool wasn't lying about his healing factor then." Sniper said.
"I remember feeling of chainsaw, it was same day I first felt ubercharge."
"Ugg, you guys are crazy." Pinkie remarked.
"We've been told." Sniper then put on a hat, the Master's Yellow Belt.
"Hey, nice headband!"
"Thanks sheila. Hats are amazing, right Heavy?"
"Hats are credit to team!"
Pinkie Pie had no idea why they liked hats so much, but hey, they like it.
"I want hats!"
The two mercenaries looked at the pink pony and had shocked looks.
"You do not have hat?" Heavy said.
"But without hats, you're... you're..."
"Poor and Irish!" The two RED members unisoned. Pinkie assumed poor and Irish wasn't good, not good at all.
"Oh no. I need a hat!"
"Here, take shower hat as token of being comrades." Heavy put a 'Pink as Hell' Hard Counter hat on Pinkie's head.
Pinkie took one long look at a nearby mirror and said, "Awesome."
"Now, most hearts couldn't vithstand this much voltage, but I'm fairly certain..." Medic stopped when as he put the heart to the Medigun, it exploded. Deadpool gave an unimpressed look.
Seriously! Your heart blew up, again!
"Yeah, are you really a doctor?"
"I, at least, used to be."
Oh lord.
"Used to be, I am not really worried anyhow."
"Don't worry, I've got it." Medic walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. He looked through its contents and came across the Mega Baboon heart.
"Ah, perfect." Medic picked up the heart, revealing a BLU spy head.
"Kill me." He said.
"Later." Medic closed the fridge. He then put the uber device in the heart. "Now, come on. Come on!" Medic began to laugh maniacally, Deadpool joined in and somehow managed to outlaugh the doctor in evilness. Medic looked confused, but he nonetheless saw the heart was okay. "Oh, that looks good." Medic dropped the heart in Deadpool's chest.
"You want me to hold the ribcage open?"
"Well, um, yes. Do it!"
Deadpool did so and Medic pushed the heart in, and Deadpool...
"YEOUCH!"
Deadpool looked at the rib he pulled out.
"Oh don't be such a baby," Medic took the rib and tossed it aside. "ribs grow back."
"Not usually, but mine can."
Medic activated the Medigun, healing Deadpool in 3 seconds. Really, it was that fast. Deadpool took a deep breath and said, "This hurts a lot more than I expected."
"Don't worry, we can practice medicine now."
"Well that's over. Author, you can end this chapter now."
Bring some tacos for us.
Alright then Wade.
-What will happen next time in TF2? Hell, if I know! I hope ya enjoyed this.-
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
Pinkie Pie, and most of RED were outside the doctor's surgery room. Pinkie really liked Deadpool's attitude, but his tendencies were something she could go without. She also noted how Scout was like Rainbow Dash in, well, everything except gender. Engineer seemed to be a funny mix of Applejack and Twilight, maybe she'll get the two together to see if they are 'hiding in the closet.' Spy reminded Pinkie of Rarity, but with a little less morality. But oh dear, who best represents Fluttershy and herself? The doors soon opened to reveal Deadpool and Medic.
"Hey guys, my chest is ready for something called an ubercharge. What is it?"
Medic chuckled a little. "An ubercharge pumps you so full of electricity, that you heal stupid fast, giving an illusion of invincibility."
"Really!"
"Yes!" Heavy said. "It is good feeling, if you don't mind heart complications." Heavy put his hand over his heart and patted it a few times.
"That's actually because you have clogged arteries, fatty!"
"Scout! You are dead!"
"Now now, boys!" Pinkie got in between the two killers. "Let's not kill each other because of a simple insult. Even I insult my friends once in awhile, and they don't hate me! He he he he!"
"Well, that's nice to know. Now..." The others looked at Deadpool. "Who's up for tacos?"
The other sentient creatures nodded.
"Good, tacos must be has!"
A muffled bird call came from somewhere.
"Archimedes?"
"The bird yours?"
"Yeah, vhy?"
"It's in my chest." Pinkie's face greened a little.
"You keep birds in the operating room with you? Even I know that's stupid!"
"Vell, Archimedes is a bit... how you say..." Medic looked at Deadpool cutting his own chest open, reaching in, and pulling out Medic's dove. "habitual, but he is not insane like me or... him."
"Sounds stupid."
"Well, this bird is stupid. Now, Tacos!" The others followed Deadpool to wherever a taco stand might be. Meanwhile, the administrator had been watching the 10 moronic mercenaries and pink pony, and smiled.
Mission begins in 60 seconds!
It was a new day for Deadpool. He had gotten a job where he kills idiots that look and act like the guys next to him, and no one gives a shit. It pays $500 million dollars a year, which was billions in modern day Earth. Deadpool took out his Uzis (Deadpool thought the MP7's ammo would be a problem) and loaded them. He took out his pistols and loaded them as well. Deadpool finally took out his swords to check its sharpness.
"Perfect!" Deadpool sheathed them.
Mission begins in 30 seconds!
"Deadpool."
Wade turned to Scout. "Give them all kindsa hell for me, will ya?"
"Hell is my middle name!"
I thought it was Winston.
Me too. Get some tacos on the way out Wade.
"Whatever brotha. Guns akimbo, dat's badass!"
Mission begins in 10 seconds!
"Hell yeah, let's go!"
Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
The doors opened. Begin!
Wade rushed out and decided to take the sewers. He was like Spy spliced with Scout and Pyro. He was insane, fast and stealthy. But he had gotten a new addition to his gear.
"Man, this hat is bitching." Deadpool wore a Towering Pillar of Hats, the most magnificent of hats. He soon met an enemy engineer, who seemed confused.
"Who are you?"
"Me? Just Deadpool." Deadpool filled the Dell clone (or was it the RED engie?) with lead from the Uzi.
"Imma grab it. It's a habit! Automatic! Like Uzi!"
LMFAO!
I like the Wolfgang Gartner remix better.
You know what, I can agree to that.
Meanwhile, Pinkie was watching the entire event unfold in a video surveillance room, eating some popcorn.
"This is better than the movies." Pinkie munched on more popcorn while watch Deadpool bring his blades down on a poor Heavy's feet, and executing the fat man with a point-blank pistol headshot.
"Reminds me of Mortal Kombat!"
I really liked Scorpion!
I prefer Sub-Zero.
Scorpion!
Sub-Zero!
Scorpion!
Sub-Zero!
SCORPION!
SUB-ZERO!
"Guys?"
What!
"We've got a spy 'round here."
What makes you think that?
"He just backstabbed me." Wade pulled the knife out of his back, looked at it, and folded it, putting it in his pocket.
"You know..." The BLU spy appeared right next to the insane mercenary. "You are too unrefined to..." Spy's speech was cut tragically short by a bullet to the brain, courtesy of 'The Merc with the Mouth' himself.
"Unrefined! I craft hats, for Christ's sake! How is that 'unrefined'?"
Just because you craft doesn't mean you are refined Wade. You would find farting the alphabet amusing.
"Okay, I'm here anyhows." Indeed, Wade was already at the intelligence room in the BLU base.
Pinkie was still watching, unaware that someone just infiltrated the RED base.
"Take that briefcase, Wade!"
"Alright, let me..." Deadpool snagged the intelligence.
We have capture the enemy intelligence!
Go Wade! Do it for burritos!
And for the Reliable Excavation and Demolitions company.
"Right!" Deadpool ran out, only to be stopped by nine really angry men. A BLU heavy had his Brass Beast revved up while a Kritzkrieg medic had an ubercharge ready. A pyro had a Degreaser and a Postal Pummeler ready for use. A soldier was ready to fire a super-charged Cow Mangler 5000 shot. An engineer had a combat mini-sentry ready. The sniper had a Huntsman and some Jarate ready. Spy had the Enforcer at his disposal. The enemy Demo had his grenade launcher ready to kill. The scout had finally readied up his Force-a-Nature. Deadpool looked at this group of enemies.
"You know, I would shit my pants at the sight of you, but I'm not. I would be scared, but I'm not. I would run away, but I'm not. You know why?"
BLU just aimed dead-center at the insane spandex-wearing man.
"LET'S GO! LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!"
Deadpool dash towards Scout and decapitated him with his katana. Heavy opened fire while Medic deployed an ubercharge. There was extreme damage to be given by the weapon, but Deadpool managed to dodge and keep his distance. Wade instead went to the sniper. Amazingly, Sniper got a shot at Deadpool's shin before having an arrow suddenly grabbed from him and stabbed straight into his eye-socket, killing him.
"I would give a arrow to the knee joke, but it's overused and I got it in the shin." Deadpool said as he pulled out the arrow.
"Damn ye! DIIAAAAAHHH!!!" Demoman brought out his Eyelander and a Chargin' Targe and charged at the merc. Deadpool took the knife he took from the spy, unfolded it, and stabbed the drunk Scot in the carotid artery. The black Scot went to the ground and was bleeding out. Medic decided Demoman need help, so he stopped healing Heavy.
"Doctor, come back! Прямо сейчас!"
"Nien, Demoman needs help. I mu..." Medic's sentence was cut short when Deadpool snapped his neck.
"DOCTOR! YOU ARE DEAD!" Heavy put down his minigun and cracked his knuckles.
"You wanna fight fisticuffs, let's fight!" Deadpool put his fists up, but Soldier had fully charged up the mega-blast and fired. Deadpool managed to move in time to avoid the shot.
"Dammit!" Soldier had to take a lengthy reloading process to fully charge the Cow Mangler 5000.
Deadpool punched the big Russian a few times, only to get a punch in the face by the Heavy.
"Damn, that reminds me of Kingpin a bit."
Like the fact he punches harder than Mike Tyson in his most badass part in his life.
"Yeah, that's right. Okay big boy, Take this!"
Heavy got ready to fight, but got kicked in a place most people shouldn't get kicked in.
"AAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Deadpool then grabbed the giant's head, and snapped his neck. He then went for the Engineer.
"You're not gonna get me!" Engineer said as he readied his Gunslinger.
"Oh yeah!" Deadpool drew his Uzis and fired headshots at both the Soldier, who was ready to shoot his plasma launcher, and the Engi, all while saying, "BANG!". He then turned his attention at the Spy and the Pyro, the only ones left.
"Okay, two choices. 1: Let me go and you live, or 2:..."
Spy fired his Enforcer at Deadpool, hitting him in the liver. Pinkie saw this on the comm and was shocked.
"Oh no! Wade!"
Deadpool was now pissed.
These guys are screwed.
No fucking doubt.
"Option two then." Deadpool then charged headlong at the two and slit both of their throats, killing them. Deadpool then took out a button and pressed it.
Deadpool rushed to the bridge on 2fort and saw something he hasn't technically dealt with in years.
"Hello, Redpool."
It was Deadpool, but instead of red in his costume, it was blue. He had the RED intelligence and his Towering Pillar of Hats had green confetti effect. Pinkie who was watching all of this only had one thing to say.
"Oh crud."
Meanwhile, the announcer was watching everything unfold, and was smiling.
"Oh yes, this should be good."
-Redpoolvs.Bluepool, next chapter!-
World 20-6B: Redpool vs. Bluepool. Live and Let Die! Fight!
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
Deadpool was confused. Shouldn't he be dead by now, and why is the text red?
"Okay... What the? Why is my text red all of a sudden?
I don't know. Author's choice?
To differ between you and this blue imitator?
Because I can. People had a hard time reading you Wade, so I changed your text to red, permanently.
"You ass! And you, I thought you were dead!"
"But Wade, I am not the Evil Deadpool. I am the one, the only..." Bluepool posed for you. "BLUEPOOL! THE OTHER MERC WITH THE MOUTH!"
If silence could be cut with a knife, it'd take weeks to cut through the first layer. Deadpool then spoke up.
"Bluepool, really? That's lame."
"Well from now until the battle is over, you are Redpool."
"Why?"
Yeah, why?
"You wanna know why?" Bluepool flipped off Dea... I mean Redpool.
"Both of you are assholes!"
The administrator was not expecting them to argue, just for them to kill each other. She sighed.
"The one man I hire as a tenth member to each team is not even trying to kill the other when they meet. Why did I clone Deadpool to make thing interesting?"
"HEY!"
"HEY!"
The administrator looked up, until she realised that she was pushing the comm button accidently.
"Okay then, Redpool. I cloned you so you would spice things up in 2fort and maybe make those morons forget their sorrows. Unhappy mercenaries are unproductive mercenaries."
Back at 2fort the two Deadpools contemplated this.
"Seems legit."
"Yeah."
The two stared at each other. Pinkie Pie was now unsure of what to do.
"Should I help Redpool or Bluepool? Hmmmm."
"I suggest we just blow them up."
"No Demo, too flashy."
"I could blow the blue one's brains out."
"Eww! Sniper that sounds gross."
"So is throwing piss."
"True..." Pinkie tapped her hoof on her face. "I got it! Medic!"
Medic came in the room shortly after. "Yes?"
"Give Wade an ubercharge!"
"Really? That sounds..." Medic seemed skeptical, but he then thought of a few... deranged things. "Vunderbar!"
"I don't know what the last word means, but I guess that means go get 'em!"
"Ja! I vill be back!" As the medic left, Scout went over to Pinkie.
"You know... the author built a bomb shelter for this event specifically."
"Really, my idea doesn't seem that bad."
"Yeah, but the commenters are scared because of a chance of an ubercharged Redpool. He built one in 5 hours last night to make sure he was safe from the panicking mob."
"Oh, okay then."
"Mph mm mph mm."
"Any idea what Pyro said?"
"Nah Pinks, I just know that he's crazy... at least I think it's a he."
Pinkie was confused, but she looked back at the screen shortly after.
Back at the bridge.
"Well, you are never going to defeat me!"
"And why not?"
"'Cause of my hat."
"But, it's the same hat as mine."
"Yes, but it has an unusual effect on it, making it 1000 times more awesome than your hat. It also means one thing, that you are now poor, Irish, and capable of logic. Ha ha ha HA!" Redpool widened his eyes after hearing those accursed words. He dropped to his knees and began an overly cliche sorrow pose.
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I'm not... I cannot be poor and Irish and logical and logical and with a stupid hat. I'm the exact opposite of that, I just am! You! You are so fucking dead!
Coming from the Irish mercenary.
"I thought you were my friend."
nope.avi
Still no url.
Shit.
Redpool and Bluepool brought out their katanas and entered fighting poses.
"You ready?"
"Hell to the yes."
"LEEROY JENKINS!!!"
The two Deadpools clashed swords, in rather identical styles of combat. The Deadpools noticed this.
The administrator was looking a bit... bored. They were not hurting each other.
"Yeowch! My arm!"
She spoke too soon... Wait, is his arm... growing back?
"You stole my healing factor, you sonuvabitch!"
"I did no such thing! I am your clone man."
"Then I'll cut your head in half."
Redpool dashed in, only to get an unwelcome punch.
"Not if I punch you in the balls!"
"MY CHILDREN! I am hurting down there, in my balls!" Redpool said as he collapsed onto the floor of the bridge. Bluepool went up and glared at the injured Redpool.
"Hasta la vista, baby!"
Terminator reference! You're dead Wade!
As if a deux eu machinima came to help, both Medics came with the stock Medigun to both Deadpools and healed their respective merc. Redpool rose up.
"Charge level?"
"5%."
"How much charge?"
"We're at 5%."
"Excellent! We'll kill ass and have tacos as a result."
"Jawohl!" Answered RED Medic.
"Yes!" Answered BLU Medic.
The rest of RED was watching the upcoming fight, when all of a sudden...
"Oi, where's Scout and Pinkie?"
The other mercs looked around and knew Sniper was right. Engineer looked at the Australian.
"Ah have no idea."
-Meanwhile, at my bunker.-
Okay, why must you be here?
"'Cause you know us author."
Yeah Scout, but I...
"Shut up and eat that cupcake."
Okay, nom nom nom.
"I like ya Pinks, you're funny."
"You too!"
The two high-fived.
Don't I get a high-five?
"NO!" They both answered.
Aww...
-Back in 2fort-
Both Medics were at 15% ubercharge. Both Deadpools were ready to charge in and kick the other's ass six ways from Sunday to Taiwan, twice. Even Chuck Norris found this fight interesting enough for him to stop his daily cross-country jog to see what was going to happen.
"25% Charge!" Both Medics screamed.
"Attack with badassery!"
"Kill with fist of Awesomeness!"
"YEAAAAAHHH!"
Both Deadpools clashed swords again, before smoothly backing out and aiming their guns at each other. The two had looks of determination, or constipation on their faces. They pulled the triggers.
BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG!BANG! BANG BANG! BANG BANG! BANG BANG BANGBANG!BANG BA-BANG!
The two looked at each other, they got both the other and the medics healing them, but they are all still alive.
"Uhh, ubercharge ready." RED Medic said.
"Ready to, ahh, charge." BLU Medic said.
"Charge me!"
"JA!" "JA!"
The two medics released their ubercharges and the two Deadpools got the effect of the charge. Redpool glowed a bright yellow while Bluepool glowed a bright green.
"YAAAAAA!!!"
"YAAAAAA!!!"
The two Deadpools charged at each other and managed to hit each other more times than they just did somehow. The administrator was laughing at the carnage.
"Yes! Yes! Kill each other! Make him bleed! Make him suffer!
Both Deadpools wouldn't give up, not now.
I expected more panic.
Me too. I do see Chuck Norris watching though.
Chuck Norris! That guy's badass, why's he watching us?
He just is.
The two Deadpools pushed each other back and the ubercharge wore off. Looks like round two was coming up.
"AGG! My heart!"
"Vhat, but I... The heart wasn't able to handle the voltage you just received!" BLU Medic said in a panicked tone. He had completely forgotten to give Bluepool a new heart for the uber-device. Redpool and RED Medic saw an opportunity.
"I'll handle the rest."
"Fine, let me vatch!"
Redpool smiled under his masked face and dash towards the enemy medic, and stabbed him through the neck, severing the spinal column, C2 and C3, killing him instantly.
We learned biology.
I never thought it would be so fun.
Redpool took his other katana, looked at the twitching Bluepool, and said in a singing tone, "Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes, they're calling..."
"I'm fucked, aren't I?"
"Yeah." Redpool decapitated the BLU Deadpool.
Alert! The enemy has dropped our intelligence!
"Let's finish this chapter." Deadpool ran towards the RED intelligence room, after a quick spin, he capped the intel.
"We have capture the enemy intelligence!You lucky bastard.Victory!
"I win bitches!"
The rest of RED, except for Scout, came in and lifted Deadpool.
"DEADPOOL! DEADPOOL! DEADPOOL!"
Red continued to chant his name while they carried him to the spawn room. They dropped him gently.
"Thank you all! You are all awesome! Especially you Doc, you made me feel badass!"
"No problem!"
At that point, Scout and Pinkie Pie came back in.
"Vhere vere you?"
"Out." Scout replied quietly.
"Yeppers!" Pinkie said.
"Good! Gentlemen, I must announce the fact that we must leave." This comment made the RED team get sounds of disappointment. "But hear this, you'll all be awesome! I promise!" The REDs nodded at this and Deadpool went to Pinkie.
"Ready to go?"
"Yep!"
"Good." The two waved goodbye before Wade put his hand on Pinkie's head and the two faded out of existence. Heavy seemed to be crying. Scout seemed to notice.
"Heavy, are ya crying?"
"Manly tears are being shed leetle Scout. Manly tears." Heavy cried some more. Helen watched the whole thing unfold with her eyes, and was annoyed.
"Great... at least those morons will move to another location to make things more different."
Overall, RED would agree, this was the best day of their lives so far.
"Look! I got an unusual hat!"
"Where Spy?" Asked the Scout.
"Here." Spy pointed to his Fancy Fedora with a burning plasma effect.
"Lucky bastard." All of RED began to laugh, they were just happy they could finally get a change of scenery.
-In the space stream-
"So what now?"
"How about... there?
Deadpool pointed at a world with loud heavy metal music playing, with a guy in black driving a car with a girl in the passenger seat.
"I don't see why not."
"Let's go!"
-What is the next world? Let's just say it's brutal.-
World m1ta3: Welcome to the Age of Metal, Here's Your Demon to Kill
A car was driving down the road. It was chromed out, had 3-barreled rocket launchers on it, blood launchers on the sides, a massive ram on it, and three nitro canisters. The fact it was there meant that all was normal now. The man driving it was a heavy-built man in black leather by the name Eddie Riggs. He was a roadie, a guy who worked backstage of a concert to make sure the band looked good, played good, and was good. He had worked for a band called Kabbage Boy and did the job well, but they were arguably the worst heavy metal band, ever! After he got blood on his belt buckle, he ended up in this world, the Age of Metal. It was a wild and free land once ruled by the evil emperor Doviculus, at least until Eddie decapitated him with his axe, the Separator. The axe was styled so that it was asymmetric, both ends were... you know what, I'll just show you a picture to avoid the annoyingly long explanation process.
He also a guitar he called Clementine. In the world he originated from, it was just a regular Gibson guitar, but here, it could play music to cast spells, blow up monsters, and pretty much cause hell. Eddie used these to raise an army, Ironheade, to stop the Tainted Coil and get a girl. Speaking of which, she was in the passenger's seat. She had black clothing on, daggers strapped to her thighs, and had brown hair. Her name was Ophelia.
The two were on an evening drive, which constituted of playing Ironheade endorsed music, smashing the car against many of the world's animals, killing what Tainted Coil remains, and finally stopping at the beach for a few... dozen beers. They got out of the car.
"So Ophelia, this was a nice evening so far, right?"
"Yeah Eddie, real nice."
"You ready to party?"
Ophelia looked at her boyfriend, and smiled. "Always."
A headbanger was walking to the party, when he saw the two.
"Eddie Riggs and Ophelia! Good to see you!"
"Good to see you too, Jasper!" Eddie responded.
"You ready to get drunk?"
The two lovebirds looked at each other, and got nervous looks. This wouldn't have been Eddie's first time getting drunk, but Ophelia...
As if the question was never to be answered, there was cries of surprise from the party.
"The hell?"
"What is with the pink horse?"
"Hey, what's that thing he's pointing at me?"
"Maybe I should headbash the tall human."
"I say we just drink all the beer!"
It was silent, before the party-goers cheered and went back to normal. Eddie seemed curious.
"Okay, I'll go check out what's there. Okay?"
"Yep. Go ahead Eddie." Ophelia said. Eddie nodded and walk towards the party to see the usual goers: Headbangers with their thick skulls, Razor Girls and their hairspray, Thunderhogs and their motor-trikes, Roadies and the subwoofers they lug around so often, and Bouncers with their always giant fist-coverings. But two caught his eye, simple because he never saw them before, a man in red spandex and a pink pony with balloons on her ass, or at least, he thought it was on her ass. He went over to them.
"Ahem," The two turned towards Riggs. "Excuse me, but... who are you?"
The red one stood up. "Hi! I'm Deadpool! I'm an interdimensional traveler, and this is Pinkie Pie, my companion and equal."
"Yep! And don't freak out!" Pinkie finished with an unusual serious tone. Eddie had no idea what to think of these two, but...
"So, you here to party?"
"Yeah!"
"No shit!"
You think he can hear us?
Nah.
"Who said that?" Asked Eddie.
"Who said what?" Asked a nearby Roadie.
Umm...
"Someone say 'umm'?"
He can hear us! Execute order number 783-B4!
"Right!" Deadpool took out a gun and shot himself in the head.
-3 hours later-
Hey Wade, wake up!
"Mmm, mommy?"
"Holy crap! He's alive!"
"RUN!"
Wade, buddy! I said order number 783-B4, not 782-9Q.
"Oh, my bad." Wade got up to see he was at a graveyard somewhere. He looked to see Pinkie Pie and the buff guy come in.
I wonder if he still thinks you're dead?
"Dammit, why do I hear voices somewhere?"
EEYUP! He still confused.
Let's just say something.
I GOT IT! KAXGMIXXZMKKGZYUA,MUGNYAZN NZAMAIYME7M HGSBKCHBMIM 1111!
"Ah fuck! What the hell was that?"
"I'll just tell you."
"What the... I thought you killed yourself?"
"It's called 'healing factor', and I'm pretty much immortal. And bitchin'. As for the voices, they're mine!"
"They're yours? How long?"
"I lost count after about 18 years."
"Riiight..." This guy's a freak! "So, why are you here?"
"Because I am."
Eddie deadpanned. "Because you are... Seriously?"
"Yep!"
"He's really funny to be with." Pinkie said.
"Tell me the rules of this world, I don't want to be lynched."
Or torn limb from limb, even though you have healing factor.
Since when were you logical?
Since shut up, bitch.
"Okay, you guys are weird. I'm out."
"Aren't you going to watch us?"
"Nah Pinks, this place doesn't have rules. And I'm going with it. Later guys." Eddie then played the summon Deuce solo and hopped in his car, driving away to Rip The System, by KMFDM.
Did we just get dissed?
"I think we just did!" Deadpool was now pissed, not good.
"Let's follow him!"
"Right Pinks!" The duo chased after the Roadie, but car vs. foot wasn't doing it for the convenience of the two.
-Chapter End, Sorry for the delay, school and whatnot.-
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
Deadpool and Pinkie Pie were running for miles, before stealing a Thunderhog's bike. Well actually it was half a mile, but they needed a fast vehicle, and they just found one to steal.
"Was that necessary, you know, to steal this?"
"Yeah, buff guy dissed us! You don't diss Deadpool!"
Unless you're Taskmaster.
"I wonder how Tasky is doing?"
-Meanwhile, in Earth-MLP:69.13-
"So you're saying that Wade got ahold of some power to go to other universes."
"Yes Taskmaster, that's right."
Tony Stark, in his MK 4 Iron Man Armor, gathered The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Spider-Man, Wolverine, and Nick Fury together to go get Wade Wilson back, but Taskmaster came and attacked. That is until he heard why they were together.
"Alright! That bastard's gonna pay!"
"Hulk bored! Work machine, Shiny Man!"
"Alright Hulk, just wait a bit and... DONE!"
"You sure this will work Tony?" Nick Fury asked.
"I honestly have no idea, but I'm 85% sure this will work."
"85%."
"Just trust me."
Nick shrugged, and the group went into the machine.
"This will hurt, a lot."
"Just do it Tony. Pain isn't something I haven't dealt with before." Captain America said.
"Okay! Three! Two! One!" Tony turned on the machine and the eight were shocked heavily. When it stopped, they shook their heads.
"Okay, Fury, you have control of where we go."
"Okay, we'll start off by going to the places that have clearly have had evidence that Wade was there. Understand?"
"Hulk ready to smash Talking Man!"
"That's a yes then. Let's go!"
"Then make haste, Fury!" Thor yelled as he raised Mjolnir into the air.
The eight men went to the universal stream, not knowing where to go, until they get leads.
-Earth m1ta3-
Deadpool and Pinkie had driven for the better part of 10 minutes before stopping at a shrine in the middle of a jungle.
"Neat!" Wade said as he took a picture of the stone palace.
"Is that blood?" Pinkie said as she pointed at the fountains.
"I don't know. Maybe it's bad water, looks like someone took a million craps in it."
"Yeah, it does."
"I'm going up, you get that Roadie!"
"Yes sir!" Pinkie said as she saluted and ran off. Wade walked up the stairs.
I have a bad feeling about this place.
Why?
I feel like there is a killer in disguise here.
Amazon women?
No, too cliche.
As if White Caption Box were cursed, the Zaulia came in and held Wade at spearpoint.
Too cliche, ehh...
Shut up!
"Who are you?" Asked the apparent leader.
"I am Deadpool, and I think you ladies need some stress relief."
"You mean you've come for the mating challenge?" The leader said as she retracted the spear in her hands.
Mating challenge! That means SEX!
I still don't think...
"Hell yeah! My body is ready!"
10 bucks says that he'll regret this later.
You're on!
Eddie had stopped at a Motor Forge near the Zaulia temple. When he came up, his car was now white with black stripes, had a black tear launcher, and Eddie's axe now was bloodthirsty. He looked out to his left and saw a familiar pink blur.
Crap, that pink pony. Where is her friend?
Eddie drove over to the pony and hopped out. He began to talk.
"Look, I know I ditched you..."
"Don't mind me, I just want to go have fun."
"Really? Bitchin'!"
"Who are those guys though?"
Eddie looked over to see some enemies, six Gravediggers.
"Look, conformists." Yelled out one of the Gravediggers
"Let's fight them as individuals."
"Ah sh... Get in Pinkie!"
"Why?"
"They are bad guys."
Pinkie gasped and got in the deuce. Eddie got in as well and drove into the Gravediggers while spraying blood all over the place.
"Eat it, you doom freaks!" Eddie yelled as the music in the Deuce blared.
"Yeah!"
"Let's go find your friend."
"Oh, he's at the temple."
"Wait, what?"
"Why, is that bad?"
"Only if he's going for the mating challenge. One of the guys went for it, and dies from an oversexed heart."
Pinkie gave a very loud gasp. "We need to save him!"
"Let's go then, they will listen to me!"
"Why?"
"I'm the son of the guy who saved their civilization once."
"Oh, that's cool!"
The two made a U-turn and drove to the Zaulia temple, and saw Wade run away in his underwear.
"I regret everything!"
Hand it over.
Fine, ass.
"Hey, what are you..."
Deadpool grabbed Eddie, threw him out, took his weapons and drove away in the deuce, Pinkie falling out as he did so. Rima then came down from the stairs.
"Come back! You haven't even gotten a fourth of the way through!"
"Rima! What happened?"
"That man came for the mating challenge, and quit after just 17 Zaulia. Weakling!"
Man, am I glad I'm with Ophelia. "We need to go after him! He took the Deuce, my axe and my axe!"
"Very well!" Rima said as she mounted a Metal Beast. "Hop on and give its fur a tug!"
"Is that safe?" Pinkie asked.
"He won't mind. Let us go now!"
The roadie and the pony nodded, hopped on the metal beast, and rode off after Deadpool.
(A/N I hope you are enjoying this story so far. I got another fanfic called 6 that you should check out. Do it!)
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
The space stream, it was flowing and eight men were going through it. Tony Stark, one of them, decided to speak.
"Nick."
"Yes Tony?"
"Are you sure you know where we're going?"
"Not really, but I can see multiple Deadpools. I think I saw a blue one get his head attached to some device by some mad doctor, and a pony version dating a pink pony."
"That's not strange, not at all." Tony said sincerely.
"Not with him at least."
Silence, it was so. But then Hulk said...
"Hulk see five ponies again, but no pink pony!"
"Why do we care Hulk?" Wolverine asked.
"Wait, listen." Spiderman said.
"I still can't believe Pinkie would go with that thing in that horrid suit." A white unicorn said.
"I can't believe he would trust her so much." A purple unicorn responded.
"I heard him say his name was 'Deadpool', or something." A rainbow maned pegasus said.
"That's all we need! Let's visit them." Nick Fury said.
Five mares were sitting in the library confused.
"I still can't believe Pinkie would go with that thing in that horrid suit." Rarity said.
"I can't believe he would trust her so much." Twilight responded.
"I heard him say his name was 'Deadpool', or something." Rainbow said.
At that point eight men appeared and shocked the mares. The one with the eyepatch walked forward.
"Ladies, have you seen a man by the name 'Deadpool' around here?"
"Yes!" Twilight answered. "We have! He went away with our friend." Twilight saw the Hulk and pointed her hoof at him. "Why is that one green?"
"Why purple unicorn act curious? Purple unicorn should be afraid of Hulk!"
Twilight took a step back, but reclaimed her composure.
"You know where he went?" Nick asked.
"Well, Deadpool said that he was going on an adventure with her."
"Where?" Nick asked as Taskmaster gripped the handle of his sword.
"He never said."
"That's just great." Wolverine said. "Let's just find him in some random place."
"Wait! Let me come with you! My friend is stuck with him, possibly in danger!" Rainbow Dash said.
"Ah'll come too!" Applejack said.
"Me too!" Twilight said.
"I can't let Pinkie go around with that monstrosity!" Rarity said.
"I guess I'll come too." Fluttershy responded.
Nick looked at the five, and decided. "You can come, but let us handle the situations!"
"Right! Let's go!" Twilight asked.
The eight humans nodded and took the five mares with them on the interdimensional manhunt for Deadpool.
(A/N Short chapter is short. Just a side story to keep you occupied for a while, enjoy.)
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
Deadpool was driving away in the stolen Deuce. He was not getting boned again. It was fun for a while, but then it became painful and heartbreaking.
You should have...
"Shut the fuck up, asshole!"
Whoa! Wade, you alright?
"I pretty much let myself get raped, that is not cool anymore!"
Anymore?
"You know what I fucking mean!"
Right, well Wade...
"What?"
Tar lake.
"Huh..."
Deadpool saw that he was indeed driving into a black lake, fast too.
"Dammit, I just had my underwear cleaned."
Whatever, it's not like this lake is poisonous, right?
Deadpool drove into the lake and the car blew up, sending Wade's head and torso on the rocks along with the guitar and axe, and thousands of Deadpool bits into the water.
Dumbass.
No doubt.
Rima, Eddie and Pinkie Pie had heard that Deadpool had driven Eddie's car over to the Sea of Black Tears, so the three rode over to the area, avoiding the Drowning Doom units deployed there. Needless to say, they managed to get to the sea with the help of the Fire Barons. Now they were almost there.
"So Eddie Weddie, how do you plan on punishing Deadpool?" Pinkie asked.
"I'll let Rima finish him off." Eddie responded.
"Thank you, son of Riggnarok!" Rima said, anticipating her turn with the abnormal human-mutant-thing.
"Seriously Author, you write that crud?"
Well Pinkie, I'll just not give anymore screen time then...
"Nononono! I'll behave, this story's on FIMFiction.net already, I can't be removed!"
Good point, butt monkey then.
"Fine, I'll be nice." Pinkie folded her forehooves together.
Good.
"Hey Eddie, what was that about?" The Baron asked.
"She... It's just her talking to herself Baron, just focus on finding that bastard who stool my axe and my guitar!"
"Can I burn him?"
"Whatever floats your boat."
"Bitchin'."
Soon enough, they saw the merc, nude, except for his face, unconscious, and with Eddie's weapons next to him. Eddie grabbed his weapons and approached the anti-hero of our story.
"Wakey wakey, Wadey."
Deadpool opened his eyes and looked at the roadie.
"Kiss me, big boy!"
"Oh GOD, NO!" Eddie jumped back. Deadpool laughed.
Wade smirked under his mask and talked.
"I need a change of clothes."
"Oh no, you still have our mating challenge to finish."
Plan 11DPL-FM1, NOW!
We have no mustard.
Damn, Diabolus ex Machina better help us.
The hell you learn that?
TVTropes.
They'll ruin your life.
At least it'll make this story work.
"You both do realize I can still hear you." Eddie said, not amused.
SHIT!
At that point, something came out of the blackened water. The group looked at it and raised eyebrows. It spoke.
"I have come back from the dead to give the living..." It looked up. "Chimichangas!"
"Oh crap, another zombie version of me."
"How's that bad, chimichangas!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah, chimichangas! Oh and tacos."
"Burritos!"
The group looked around to see that the whole area was being overrun by Deadpools.
"HEY! WE'RE ZOMPOOLS! AND WE WANT CHIMICHANGAS, and maybe some brains too."
"RUN!" Eddie said as he summoned the Deuce.
The others agreed, Deadpool hopped on the Deuce alongside Pinkie Pie and Eddie turned off the radio, he didn't want the Zompools to follow the sound of metal.
"Roar, I'm a zombie, that is not cliche! I want tacos for lunch!"
"The natural enemy of the zombie is monkeys and monkey-derived jackasses!"
"I feel depressed, let's kill 'em."
"Dammit..." Eddie said through gritted teeth as he drove to the bridge connecting the eastern and western continent.
After many hours of preparation and proof that there are zombies out and about, Lita had let Eddie set up a stage battle at the bridge. One look over made him smile, then looked at the other side.
"Damn, they got a stage."
Indeed, it was red and black, and looked rather crude, but everything actually looked stable to Eddie. He also noted who was manning them. The Zompools dressed themselves in a olive green version of Deadpool's costume, which he somehow got back. Many were also wearing slight variations of the costume, some had katanas, others had grenades, many had guns and some had a lot of C4 strapped to them. Overall, Ironheade would be have the fight for their lives.
"We ready?"
"Yeah Deadpool, we are." Eddie said as he lit on a cigarette. Eddie offered one to Deadpool.
Oh my God, you should see what they just began. Oh that Zompool got his head chopped off by Lita. Oh, the head Zompool just killed one of the Thunderhogs. Oh man, I wish you could see how epic this battle is, I totally wish...
"Hey author, pay attention to Pinkie Pie there too!"
Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie rolled on the battlefield driving a Rock crusher, crushing the competition, not realizing how much ass she was shedding up.
The head Zompool began a guitar solo that summoned, what else, but cheese rain. Boiling hot cheese rain.
"Damn! This stuff burns!"
Ironheade didn't mind the heat, they were now headbutting the stage. Eddie was right next to it when he activated the 'Bring it on Home' solo and summoned an airship down on the stage.
"Oh no! The metal gods still use Hydrogen!"
"What!" Pinkie said. "That's stupid!"
"Yeah, but..."
BOOM!
"It's badass."
The Zompools jumped off the bridge, their stage was falling apart. The lead Zompool then said...
"Screw this, I'm going home!" Zompool faded out of existence while Ironheade cheered on for their victory. Deadpool grabbed Pinkie.
"Wade, what are you..."
"No talk, we leave now." Wade and Pinkie faded out of existence and disappeared right in front of Rima.
"Coward." Rima rode off on her Metal Beast, disappointed that she never got her turn.
"I was having fun Wade!"
"I wasn't, I'm going to that world instead, it had giant robots!
Pinkie looked to see a giant robot fighting a monster with eight arms. It was also destroying the city.
"Wait, my Jersey senses are tingling, that must be New Jersey! Let's go!"
"Why?"
"New Jersey is falling apart, that is awesome to me!"
Yep!
Living here in Jersey, fighting villains from afar! You got to...
Quiet!
Aww...
The duo went to this world, where property damage was constant. A conveniently empty building fell apart as they first entered the world.
The Super Exciting, Chimichanga-filled Interdimensional Story of Epic Proportions, starring Deadpool and Pinkie Pie! By Awesomedude17
Welcome to New Jersey, home to one of the most beautiful coastlines and PoPTV, the...
CRSH!
The PoPTV van was crushed by a giant foot, a giant robot foot. What man could pilot such a monstrosity?
Apparently, a fat guy. His name is Harold Cooplowski, but we'll call him Coop. He apparently changed the original controls of this machine to a car. How he did it is beyond even the omnipotent narrator, me. Needless to say, he was not alone. In the passanger seat was Coop's friend, Jamie. He also had a woman from the future in the back seat. Her name was Kiva. Why was this robot out?
"GRAHHH!"
"Coop, what made 'that' come here?" Jamie asked.
"I dunno, all I wanted was about 13 space pulled pork sandwiches, was that such a bad thing that I blew up that asteroid to save time?" Coop said.
"Coop, that asteroid contained a monster that eats more than you do." Kiva said.
"Oh no, no one eats more than me." Coop said, point to himself with his thumb.
"Coop! Watch out!" Jamie said in a panicked tone.
Coop shifted gears and punched the monster. It was monster with 6 tentacles and a snake-like body. And it had, a red spot and a pink spot on it's head?
"Coop, two life forms just appeared on it's head..."
"Got it!" Coop grabbed the head, allowing the spots to hop on and dash to the shoulder of the robot. Megas then threw the monster into space.
"There, that over with!" Coop said as he clapped his hands together. "Who's up for Mexican?"
A man in spandex smashed Jamie's window and began to speak.
"I want effin' CHIMICHANGAS!"
Jamie screamed like a girl and Kiva pulled a taser on the man.
"AHHHH, Why does every hot chick I meet hurt me?" And then he passed out.
Wade, you okay?
Yes, you okay?
"I think you hurt him."
"Yeah Kiva, why'd you do it?"
"He tried to attack us!"
"No he wasn't, one of you mention Mexican?"
"I did. Why?"
"He probably want chimichangas."
"Someone mention chimichangas?"
"I did Wade! He he!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah, who are you?" Asked the fat one.
"I'm Deadpool, a dimensional traveler who was a mercenary. Key word 'was'!"
"Cool, I'm Coop. That's Jamie. And that's Kiva."
"Oh hey, wanna go back to my place?"
Kiva roundhouse kicked Deadpool in the gut.
"I would have taken a no. Ow..."
I count six ribs broken.
Give him two minutes.
"Right, so..." Deadpool clapped his hands together. "I want to get Chimichangas!"
"I do too! Let's go, I know great Mexican joint near the docks!"
"Great, how long 'til we get there?"
"Five minutes, we're already in the car."
Deadpool looked out the window to see himself flying in a giant robot car. He said only three words.
I am sorry fellow FiMfiction writers, but I lost the motivation to write more of this story. As a result, I am officially canceling this story. I am sorry, but that doesn't mean I'm done. Enjoy my other stories and fav them if you like them. Awesomedude17 out!
