Birthday Blowout

by Itchy

First published

It's Mecha's birthday, and things go terribly wrong.

It's Mecha's birthday, and things go... um... how do I put this... decently? Yeah, that's the word. Anyways, join him as he celebrates in a traditional manner for him, getting blown up!

Chapter 1

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Mecha sighed as he looked onto the letter in his hooves. Why, today of all days, did this have to happen? Surely they could've sent the order yesterday or tomorrow, but today? Why in Luna's name did they have to send it today!

Glancing at the clock, Mecha let out another sigh. If he started now, he could probably get done by nightfall... if he was lucky. “Sugary Spice!” he called out, causing his daughter to rush into the room.

“Yeah dad?” she asked, looking at him curiously. “Are we leaving early?”

Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “Eenope. Sorry to say this, but we'll have to delay our fun until tomorrow. The nobles in Canterlot,” he spat out, “Have decided to day of all days to make a rush order.” Seeing Sugary Spice's face beginning to droop, he continued, “If it wasn't for the fact that I need the cash for my medical bills I'd blow them off. But unfortunately, after my third stay in one day... yeah, that tends to add up. Would you mind staying at Pinkie Pie's place today?”

Looking towards the ground with sad eyes, Sugary Spice asked, “Can I bring Wolfgang?”

Nodding his head, Mecha replied, “As if I'd let you stay with Pinkie Pie any other way!”

Walking off to grab the timberwolf cub, Sugary Spice quickly disappeared behind a door. Sighing, Mecha stepped outside to wait for her, when he spotted Snips and Snails leaving the forge, the newly forged items for the store hovering next to them. They'd actually gotten quite good at that...

“IDEA!” Mecha yelled out, before stopping suddenly. Where did that come from? Seemed more like something Rarity would do... forget it! He needed to act quick, or else Snips and Snails would get away. “Front and center!” Mecha yelled out, causing the two apprentices to rush forward and salute Mecha. “At ease,” he replied, chuckling lightly at his two workers. “Do either of you have anything to do today?”

Giving each other a quick glance, they shook their heads before replying, “No sir!”

Grinning, Mecha then said, “Good, because you're working overtime today! Get back to the forge and start making as many high-quality gold armor sets as possible! I'll join you shortly, but until then, remember this! We're working for Pride-forsaken nobles, so what do we do?!?”

Grinning, Snips and Snails yelled back, “Cut as many corners possible, jack prices as high as possible, and use low-quality gold inside while coating it with high-quality gold outside!”

Laughing, Mecha sent them back to work, just as Sugary Spice and Wolfgang walked out. “Do I have to go with her?” Wolfgang asked, dragging his paws. “Last time I was at that blasted bakery, I got flour all over my coat! It took weeks to get that out, weeks!”

Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “Yes you do. The last time Sugary Spice went without you I had to meet her in the hospital for sugar poisoning. I didn't even know that was possible!”

Grumbling, Wolfgang jumped up to Mecha's head, followed shortly by Sugary Spice jumping onto his back. “You know,” Mecha said, walking towards Sugar Cube Corner, “I feel like a taxi right now.”

Laughing, Sugary Spice replied, “But this is so much fun! After all, how many families can do this?”

Sighing, Mecha replied, “Not many. Ah, here we are!” as he walked through the door.

“Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, how can I... Mecha! Good to see you today! Are we still good for noon?” Pinkie Pie asked, jumping over the counter when she saw Mecha.

Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “I'm afraid not. Blasted nobles made a rush order, so I'm stuck working until seven at least. In fact, that's while I'm here. Do you mind watching SS and Wolfgang here while I'm working?”

Pinkie Pie frowned, saying, “Phooie. That's mean of those nobles, forcing you to work today of all days!” before she regained her smile, saying, “But sure! I love watching Sugary Spice here, it's so much fun baking with her! In fact, why don't we make you a cake for today! Something to make you feel better about having to work on your birthday!”

Laughing, Mecha watched as his daughter and “pet” (although he'd never say that in front of Wolfgang again) walked back into the kitchen, and said, “That'd be lovely. In fact, depending on how fast Snips, Snails, and myself work, we might be able to have that party later.”

Smiling, Pinkie Pie walked back into the kitchen waving Mecha off. With a smile of his own, Mecha made his way towards his forge, planning revenge against the nobles. They never specified what kind of armor they'd wanted... maybe he'd swap the gender for the armor?

LINEBREAKER

It was close to noon, and they were a little over half done forging the armor. They'd stopped for lunch, some grilled leeks that Mecha had thrown into the forge and some lemonade, when Pinkie Pie walked up to Mecha. Raising an eyebrow, he finished off a leek before asking, “What'cha need Pinkie?”

Chuckling, she rubbed the back of her head, saying, “I kinda ran out of sugar, and Sugary Spice said that you keep several bags so that she could practice baking whenever she wanted to... so I was wondering...”

Sighing, Mecha pointed into his house, and said, “It's in the pantry, just grab a couple bags and go, we need to get back to work,” as he finished his lemonade, before walking back into his forge.

“Thank you!” Pinkie Pie replied, running into his home.

“Uh, boss?” Snips asked, walking next to Mecha.

“Yeah?” Mecha replied, as he picked up his hammer.

“Don't you keep your powdered hydra scale in the panty as well?” Snails said.

Mecha blinked, thinking that statement over. It was true, that ever sense he blew up his forge with the powdered hydra scale way back when that he kept the stuff in his pantry, but why would they bring it up now? It wasn't as if Pinkie Pie would grab that instead of the sugar, it was yellow for Luna's sake!

Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “Don't worry about that. Pinkie Pie might be a bit of an airhead from time to time, but she knows sugar. Luna knows she eats enough of it that she might even be made of it at this point!”

Chuckling, Mecha missed Pinkie Pie running out of his house with two bags with skull and crossbones on them.

LINEBREAKER

Eight in the evening, and everything was finished. The lord's armor made to fit mares were done, as well as the lady's armor made to fit stallions. Grinning ear to ear, Mecha nodded towards his two apprentices, both covered in soot like him. “I think...” Mecha said, grabbing their attention, “That this calls for cake.”

The two smiled, and followed him as to Sugar Cube Corner. Walking in, the all blinked when they were greeted with darkness. Groaning, Mecha face hoofed, and said, “Turn on the lights please, I want to get Pinkie's surprise party out of the way. I really want that cake.”

Nodding their heads, the two colts fumbled around in the darkness, before turning on a light, causing everypony in Ponyville to jump out and shout “Surprise!”

Blinking, Mecha replied, “Yes yes, very surprising and all, can I have my cake please?”

Chuckling at her stallionfriend's demeanor, Cheerilee walked up and said, “After the day you've been through? Yeah, I think so,” as she signaled Pinkie Pie to walk out with a cake that had thirteen candles.

Blinking, Mecha asked, “You do know I'm older than thirteen, right?”

Pinkie Pie nodded her head rapidly, saying, “Well duh! But I didn't know how old you were turning, since you haven't told anypony that yet, so I went with your birthday's day for it!”

Stunned, Mecha stood still, before shrugging, saying, “What the heck! It's my birthday, why not! Light this thing Spike!”

Spike nodded, before jumping onto a stool, taking a deep breath. As he did so, Twilight Sparkle walked out of the kitchen, holding a bag, and asked, “Pinkie? Why do you have an empty bag of powdered hydra scale in the kitchen?”

At this point, Mecha's eyes went wide as Spike let out a breath of fire. Groaning to himself, Mecha knew that this was going to hurt.

BANG!!!

The cake blew up the moment it cake into contact with Spike's burst of fire, causing Mecha to go through the air, before colliding with a wall. Eye twitching, Mecha replied, “Apparently the universe's gift to me is showing me that it can tone down flight causing explosions. Personally, I would've preferred going a day without exploding, but this works out just as well.”

Pinkie Pie chuckled as everypony stared at her. “Um... oops?” she said, rubbing the back of her head.

“Pinkie, why'd you grab a bag of powdered hydra scale?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Cause Mecha said there was sugar in his pantry! I didn't know there was powdered hydra scale in there as well!” Pinkie Pie replied.

“It was yellow...” Mecha replied, pulling himself out of the wall.

“I thought it was lemon flavored sugar!” Pinkie replied.

Sighing, Mecha replied, “Is there any cake you baked without that?”

Sugary Spice walked up with a cupcake in hoof, saying, “This is! I used the bag with actual sugar that Pinkie Pie brought!” before sticking a sparkler in it.

Smiling, Mecha motioned to Spike to light it, who promptly did so. Watching the sparkler go down, the party's attention was brought to Fluttershy, who asked, “Do you mean this bag of sugar that has a skull and crossbones on it?” as she left the kitchen after hiding from the explosion in it.

Seeing the bag she dragged out with her, Mecha looked back at the cupcake, whose sparkler had just reached the bottom, and said, “Lucifer forsake it,” as a spark hit the cupcake.

BOOM!

A smaller explosion occurred, this time merely covering Mecha's face with soot, and lighting the tip of his mane on fire. At this point, Wolfgang snickered, saying, “Serves you right.”

Eye twitching, Mecha asked, “How about we move onto presents? They're less likely to explode in my face.”

Laughing, Doctor Whooves walked forward, handing him a wrapped gift. “I think you'll enjoy this.”

Raising an eyebrow, Mecha opened the gift, to reveal... a chemistry set. That had been wrapped upside down. Eyes widening, Doctor Whooves yelled out, “Throw that out quick! The chemicals in there are...”

BOOM!!!

Mecha flew through the store once more, hitting the wall.

“Highly... unstable...” Doctor Whooves finished, face hoofing. “I... really should've checked that the bow was on the top side.”

“You think?” Mecha asked, as he fell to the floor. Getting up, he sighed, before turning to Cheerilee and said, “Can I get your gift? I'm fairly certain that whatever you got me won't cause an explosion.”

Smiling, Cheerilee walked up and gave him a quick kiss, before handing him a box. With a smile of his own, Mecha opened his gift, before raising an eyebrow. “Um... Cheerilee... why'd you get me an alarm clock? And why is it ticking?”

It was Cheerilee's turn to raise an eyebrow, saying, “I didn't get you an alarm clock... they must've swapped my package with another's at the gift wrap shop.”

“Huh,” Mecha replied, before the ticking stopped... and the box blew up, sending Mecha straight into the roof. Groaning, Mecha asked, “Did a goat work at that store?”

Nodding her head, Cheerilee replied, “I believe his name tag said Capo...”

With a thud, Mecha hit the floor, before saying, “That explains the bomb...”

At this point, Mr. and Mrs. Cake walked in from the kitchen, a new cake held between them. Looking at Mecha, as well as the Mecha shaped indentations in both their walls and ceiling. “Do we want to know what happened?” Mrs. Cake asked, putting the cake onto the table.

“Eenope,” Big Macintosh replied, shaking his head.

Standing up, Mecha looked at the cake, and asked, “You didn't use powdered hydra scale, did you?”

Blinking, the couple shook their heads, with Mr. Cake saying, “We just tried a new recipe involving lemon powder for this.”

On guard when he heard lemon powder, Mecha asked, “Where did you get that lemon powder?”

“From the store this morning,” Mrs. Cake replied, confused as to the cause of Mecha's question.

Relaxing, Mecha allowed Spike to light the candles... only for the cake to explode, causing yet another explosion to occur, as well as another Mecha shaped indent in the wall.

“Sweet Celestia! Did you use combustible lemons or something?” Rainbow Dash asked, as Mecha fell to the floor.

“I don't think so...” Mr. Cake replied, trying to help Mecha up. “It was a fresh bag... we opened it ourselves!”

At this point, Pinkie Pie started to whistle, kicking the floor innocently. When all eyes were watching her, she started to sweat, before saying, “Okay, I confess! I put the lemon powder away so I could put the bags of sugar out in the kitchen!”

Mecha sat up, rubbing his head, and said, “You know what? I think I'm just going to sit here. There is no way anything can cause an explosion if I just sit here, right?”

Mecha received his answer when the wall behind him blew up, revealing Solaris, Shining Armor, Nimbus, and both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Everypony looked at them, as Nimbus rubbed the back of his head, saying, “Oops?”

Mecha groaned, and asked, “Mistook the dynamite for candles again?”

Blushing, Nimbus replied, “They really shouldn't keep them in the same drawer...”

Getting back up, Mecha shook the rubble out of his coat, before saying, “I think...”

Only to be interrupted by a flash of light, as his brother teleported in. “Did I miss the party?” Shine Sight asked, looking around the room.

“No, you didn't,” Mecha replied, walking over and giving his brother a quick hug. “Although, you've missed me being blown up... what, four, five times?” he asked the party-goers.

Chuckling, Shine Sight handed Mecha a present, and said, “Happy Birthday bro. Somepony left this at my house for ya, figured you'd want to open it now.”

Shaking it lightly, Mecha didn't hear any ticking sound, before asking, “Did you check the surveillance equipment?”

Shaking his head, Shine Sight replied, “No, but I'll go ahead and do so. Just open it up while I'm out, kay?”

Nodding his head, Mecha opened the box after his brother teleported out, only to say, “Only one person would send this to me... curse you Nova!” before the box blew up, sending Mecha out through the hole in the wall that Nimbus had created earlier.

At that point, Shine Sight teleported back in, shouting, “Don't open that... I'm too late, aren't I?”

Everypony nodded their head, as they stared out the hole Mecha flew through. Sighing, Shine Sight said, “The sad thing is that this isn't even close to the record for most explosions on his birthday...”