The Doctor regenerates into a pony as he crash-lands in Equestria. He meets Pinkie Pie. Nuff said.
The Doctor accidentally finds himself in another world once again, this one having particular... tastes when it comes to the appearance of the denizens. Thankfully the Doctor was already regenerating, so no damage done... Right?
Embark on a journey as The Doctor somehow ends up taking on the funniest and most chaotic earth pony in the history of Equestria as his companion!
The Doctor had expected a smoother regeneration all things considered. The start of a new cycle, with his old body brought back to a young baseline, with his inner workings mostly modified to fit the new him, the casing lagging behind for a moment, allowing him to essentially say his final goodbye before a new personality, just as Doctory as his, would assert itself. Gone would be the childish old man with the youngest of faces. The raggedy man would bow out, remove his bowtie and a new Doctor would go sauntering away, remembering the man that he used to be.
Of course that’s not what happened. What a bloody grand idea that was me...! Engaging the TARDIS in flight instead of going to the Zero Room... Spoke a voice inside the Doctor’s head. It was his voice, but not his voice. The mind, which was prepared to take its place right after the new casing, was inserted in its slot early, feeling every agonizing moment of his physical transformation. The regeneration was painful, far more painful than it had ever been. The Doctor felt his body contort as bones and articulations snapped, crackled and popped, his blood burning in his veins as he felt it change into one of multiple different blood types, none fitting those of his usual form. Something violently erupted from his back as his jaw changed shape, his entire body growing smaller as the Doctor screamed in absolute agony, his own voice covering up another, pertaining to someone that was not really able to go through this process like him.
Once the yellow flames of regeneration subsided, the Doctor gasped for air, sweat going down his face as he pressed a... a hand... Without fingers! He had no fingers! He couldn’t feel any toes either. He was sitting in his pants as the only article of clothing that hadn’t shrunk with him— whatever other observations and thoughts were knocked out of him, along with his lights, when he was tossed into the air and back onto the floor, the TARDIS crash-landing somewhere, brutally shaking the interior.
It was a beautiful evening out in the wild expanse of Equestria. Tiny bit on the cloudy side, probably the aftermath of a scheduled rain that had occurred earlier in the day, the rays of the moon shining brightly in the sky. On the old and battered dirt road were still awake two ponies, both being near to reaching their destination of Trottingham. One of them was a hefty stallion, dark brown coat, dark gray Friendly Mutton Chops matching his short cut, dark gray mane. In the car that he was pulling was luggage— bags, a chest and other objects— along with the sole occupant: a bright pink mare with a messy pink mane, bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile as she looked out into the sky.
“Hey! Hey! Have you noticed that the Moon looks like it has a pony shape in it Mister Roam? It’s like when you look at the clouds and you notice a shape, but with the moon! Ooh speaking of clouds, doesn’t that one look like an alligator? Look it’s even smiling!”
This has been the routine almost the entire trip. Pinkamena Diane Pie, often going under the shortened name Pinkie Pie, would talk Saddle Roam’s ears off throughout the day, excitedly mentioning something or other, testing out jokes with him, talking about what she planned to do once she arrived in the town of Ponnyville, everything. At first it was nice, since there was a never a dull moment; now it was tiring, especially since the mare never seemed to run out of energy. Often times he’d only really catch a break when arriving at one of the stops, Saddle going into the night because he wanted to spend a few days there, letting Pinkie get the money she could by performing with her musical instruments or doing whatever it is her talent is exactly to gain some money, while he restocked on supplied and rested at an inn. The stallion was starting to feel the temptation of renouncing on his own invitation to bring Miss Pie along. She did mention that she used to walk all by herself before he came across her tent on the side of the road, so she clearly wasn’t the kind to be upset over having to walk.
“Yes, Miss Pie, it’s a lovely cloud...” Said the dark brown stallion without even looking at the sky, yawning.
“<Gasp> MISTER ROAM LOOK THERE’S A SHOOTING STAR! LET’S MAKE A WISH!” All but shouted Pinkie into the night as she pointed at the rather strange golden streak in the sky, shooting stars usually being white. Saddle Roam didn’t sweat the details and make his wish. For the love of Celestia, somepony please take her off my hooves!
“Huh? Mister Roam is the shooting start getting closer or is it just me?” Asked Pinkie as she leaned on the edge of the cart and placed her hoof above her eyes to somewhat block out the bright.
“I-It is! IT’S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!” Shouted the stallion as he galloped away, the pink mare falling on her side in the cart as Saddle Roam took off.
<VWOOOORP, VWOOOORP> <BOOOOOOOM>
Crashing into the forest on the side of the road, the noise that thing made subsided, only the hissing on steam being heard as the flaming thing must have extinguished itself in the crash. Huffing and puffing for air, Saddle Roam sat himself on the dirt road, the cart slightly creaking as Pinkie hopped down. Letting out an excited squeak as she hopped from one hoof to another, the mare turned to her coach.
“Mister Roam did you see that?! The shooting star went ‘nyooooooom BOOOM’ right nearby! Let’s go check it out!”
“What...? Is your head on straight? Let’s just go to Trottingham happy that we didn’t become pancakes!”
“Mhmmm~ Pancakes~!” Said Pinkie as she licked her lips, before shaking her head and focusing back on the discussion at hoof. “Aren’t you curious though? Come on~! You know you want to check it out as much as I do Mister Roam~!”
“I’d rather not. If you want to go, then be my guest.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie~! I’ll be back in a bit. I’m going to go see a shooooooting~ staaaaart~! Yeeeeeeee! This is so exciting!”
Saddle Roam sighed and shook his head at his passenger’s antics. Foals these days. I swear they are more scatterbrained than when we were their age.
The Doctor awoke with a groan. He was on his back, which felt uncomfortable, something shifting under him. It took him a moment to realise it was him doing the shifting. Opening his eyes and sitting up, the Time Lord rubbed his back, coming upon... feathers. He had feathery appendages. Wings! He had wings! Turning his head the Doctor looked upon the wings as he unfurled them. They were not that large, but they were greatly articulated, almost on the same level as a hand.
“I’m a... Pegasus.” The Doctor looked at his hooves before laying eyes upon his TARDIS. “A very small Pegasus.” He noted, approximating that, were he to stand on his le— hind legs; that was something he would have to get used to— then he could rest his chin on the rim of the console, but nothing more.
“Clara...!” He hadn’t heard a pip of her, the Doctor realised. Not even a pained groan. “CLAAAAARAAAAAAA!” There was no way this crash landing was bad enough to knock her out for so long and so strongly. Humans were fragile, but not that fragile. “Cla... ra...” Having gotten up and run around the console, The Doctor was faced with... the remains. A wet puddle of red was leaking from under flesh and bone, the entire thing malformed beyond recognition. The only indication that it was Clara was the clothing.
The Doctor took a step back, his breath heavy in his lungs. While the Time Lord had seen and done many horrific things, never in his lives did he experience them right after waking up. Adding to it that a new face only really came out of the regeneration and never had to feel the pain of going into it right after appearing and the fact that this new regeneration had to go through the most painful and extensive regeneration in his life... the Doctor did not feel good. If he had something in his stomach he would have more than likely puked it.
The Doctor ran. He ran out of the console, unable to bear what he had unwittingly allowed to happen. After everything, after all the adventures that he could kind of remember in his current state, it was him that got her killed. This wasn’t her sacrificing herself to help him, or him miscalculating, leading to her death. It was him. His decision to take off killed her. The Doctor had to find the Zero Room. He needed to calm down to let himself process this in a stable manner.
“Where’s the bloody Zero Room...?” Of course, the Doctor couldn’t really remember the layout of his TARDIS, ending up instead in the wardrobe. Before he could turn around and leave though, the mirror he had in there caught his eye.
He placed a hoof upon his left cheek as he walked closer, stretching that side of his face a little. He didn’t know it, but he was a bit taller than the average stallion, almost imperceptibly so. He had a light gray coat and a short, black mane, so short it almost looked like he had a spike coming out of the back of his head and facing his back. Three tufts of hair were hanging like hooks over his forehead. He had a pretty large snout with a gentle slope that connected it to his forehead. His jaw, and therefore the entirety of his snout, was square. He, once again, didn’t know it, but he had a very aristocratic construction for pony standards, something that would fit right in Canterlot. His ears were thankfully not too large and he had bright gold eyes. For all intents and purposes, the Doctor’s neck was slightly longer than average, and it was the part that contributed the most to his height. Even if he was a horse for the first time, he could still tell and felt discomfort at it too. Pulling his shirt collar to stand up, doing the same with his purple coat’s collar as well, the Doctor was able to get rid of that discomfort. Upon doing so, however, he was overcome with another emotion as he stared at himself in the mirror.
“Thank you, cosmos. After everything I’ve done for you, the people I’ve lost for you and the lives which I sacrificed for you: an entire Regeneration cycle! After being ready face my death you having my companion killed and putting me in this ridiculous tiny horse of a body... YOU DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TO MAKE MY LIFE A LITTLE BIT MORE MANAGEABLE AND MAKE ME GINGER?!”
<CRASH>
The Doctor took a step back from the shards of the mirror he smashed onto the floor as he realised what he had done. He was having mood swings. The only time he had it this bad was when he wore that God-awful rainbow coat! He did come to the realisation his vocal cords were new though. They could take a shouting. God his mind was all over the place.
The Doctor decided it best to just return to the console room. He needed to find out where he ended up crashing before he decided to look for a place to nap away his Regeneration weirdness and then get a new outfit. Returning to the room, the Doctor intentionally took the long way round the console to get to the screen so he didn’t have to go past... ‘Clara’. Pulling himself up on the console, the Time Lord took grateful not to step on any of the buttons as he read the screen.
“This is a twice as large as the Earth...! Double gravity, double everything... I appear to be a forest... Temperature normal, no apparent viruses or bacteria of concern... It’s night on this planet, but there’s no year on here... NO MORE DATA AVAILABLE?! What do you mean ‘no more data available’?!” The screen beeped, alerting him to the presence of a life form nearby.
<Knock> <Knock> <Knock>
Very nearby, apparently. The scanners must have suffered a malfunction if something needed to get within door knocking distance to be detected.
“Anypony in here? Hellooooooooo!” Asked a muffled voice on the side before its owner tried to pull the door opened.
The Doctor felt conflicted. On the one side he could just ignore whomever is outside and just deal with his mess. He doubted he would be able to pass off the whole ‘talking horse’ thing as something normal. On the other side, however, he had no idea where and when he was exactly, so perhaps opening the door a tad bit could allow him to hold a conversation without needing to show himself. He hoped that the yellow eyes wouldn’t be too scary. Why yellow eyes anyway? Maybe I can pass them off as Hazel, it is night after all. The Doctor thought as he slightly opened the door.
<Squeak>
“Wait it’s push to open? But here it says pull to open...! I’m confused.”
<Squeeeeeeeak>
“Greetings pink... horse...” Murmured the Time Lord as he fully opened the door. The mare in front of him giggled.
“I’m not a horse silly! I’m a pony! Hi~! Nice coat! My name is Pinkie Pie! Are you okay Mister? You did fall out of the sky— You look really shaken up! What’s your name?” Asked the mare as she placed her hooves on his shoulders. She had such a bright smile, even if her eyes were clouded by worry. While she seemed to be as all over the place as his thoughts were, there was something indicating she was pretty focused. Something in the Doctor, a feeling, told him that he shouldn’t involve himself. She was important... to history. He could practically feel the fixed points in time oozing from her.
“I’m the Doctor.” Seriously?! John Smith! You’ve been using this name for ages now!
“Doctor who?”
“Er... Doctor Whooves.” Fishing out his Psychic Paper, The Doctor just let it do the talking, hoping ‘Pinkie Pie’ had enough imagination for the paper to actually show her something.
“Hey this paper is blank! <Gasp> Is it magic paper? Was it supposed to show your name on it?” Abort! Abort!
“Yes, it was. Seems it malfunctioned. Now if you don’t mind, I am going back to what I was—” The Doctor stepped back and pushed the door closed, Pinkie putting her hoof in the way.
“— Nope! You don’t look okay, Doc. Besides you can’t stay cooped up in that small box all night!” Said Pinkie, face serious. “How about you come with me?” She asked, her bright smile returning, her eyes brightening as well.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Come with me! There’s a town nearby that I was heading towards. You can rest there and then you can return back here to your box in the morning!”
The Doctor considered it. It wasn’t like the TARDIS was in any shape to fly and his current state more than assured that he would end up getting lost looking for that Zero Room instead of getting rest. Plus Pinkie... seemed like a good distraction from the whole... Clara... situation. You are running away again. He could very well spend the night in this town, get his bearings and then run away into the sunrise back to the TARDIS. It’d be perfectly easy:
· No entangling himself with a would-be historical figure wherever he was. · No tiring himself to the point of falling asleep on the floor of the TARDIS looking for a place to deal with himself. · No needing to wait outside while the TARDIS repaired herself and recalibrated since he would be out for the whole night, giving her the time to fix herself up.
It was genius!
“That would be nice.” Replied the Doctor tiredly, as he stepped out of the TARDIS and swiftly closed the door behind him with the help of one of his wings, going to lock it for good measure.
Of course, if it was so genius, then why did echoes of his previous voice frantically told him to get back in the TARDIS?
Pinkie woke up with a lazy yawn in her inn room. Last night had been amazing and fun. She had made a wish on a shooting star and that shooting star proved to be some sort of flying box operated by this Doctor Whooves fellow. It was a prototype for the Equestrian police, apparently. He seemed like a really smart Pegasus, maybe perhaps even a noble considering his attire. Saddle Roam had been rather shocked at seeing her returning with the stallion and he asked a few questions.
The Doctor seemed rather avoidant. He was sad, feeling guilty over something. He was also clearly shaken from the crash, being tired and a bit scattered. The Pegasus seemed... lonely. He was definitely younger than her mom and dad, but yet his eyes... his eyes looked so much older than theirs. Older than anypony’s Pinkie had seen. There was a sparkle of wisdom in him, clouded by regret, insecurity and anger, the latter of which seemed to rear its ugly head every time Pinkie asked a question that was too close to home. It showed up on his face increasingly throughout the short journey before the stallion eventually turned away. He didn’t seem to like her jokes either, taking the wind out of her sails by politely asking her to quiet down so that the three ponies could enjoy the ‘night’s ambiance’.
Yup. Definitely a noble pony considering his mannerisms and vocabulary. Pinkie did manage to get him to play Rummy with her and giggled when it was his turn to shuffle the deck, the Doctor muttering something about ‘fingers’ and ‘How does gripping work?’. She took up shuffling the deck every time, even performing some tricks and also getting called out once, Pinkie having purposefully, yet stealthily, stacked the deck in her favour to see if the Doctor would notice. He did.
The Doctor didn’t have any bits on him, not expecting to need any. He did present himself to the inn keeper with the same magic card thing and the inn keeper gave all three of them a discount as a result, so that was pretty nice.
The Pegasus never smiled though. Not once through the entire journey did he smile. Not even for the sake of politeness when talking to the inn keeper. And now that Pinkie thought of it, didn’t the Pegasus’s wings rip straight through the back of his coat? She hadn’t noticed earlier because she just assumed the coat had been torn in the crash, but the back of it shouldn’t have been, at least not the way it was. Just who is this Doctor Whooves?
Before Pinkie could ponder more on the questions that had been formed last night, a screen was. Many of the inn occupants that were not awake were probably awoken, Pinkie bursting into the corridor and looking around for the source of the noise as her new acquaintance opened his door and proceeded to run out towards the bottom of the. The mare, having no better ideas, followed him, the too arriving in the lobby.
The Doctor proceeded right for the entry door to the building, something have just run out of it. When he got outside, he saw nothing. Whatever it was, it sure was in a hurry. It a stomp and a puff of air from his nostrils, the Doctor went back inside, where Pinkie pie and a couple of other guests were staring at the innkeeper, Record Note, or whatever was she had turned into: the mare’s body had been turned into a jagged, crystalline shape, the mare frozen in what the Doctor assumed to be her last moments, covering her eyes to avoid seeing something, or maybe because she was blinded by something.
“Judging by the reactions, I assume that this isn’t an everyday occurrence.” He whispered as he walked over to Pinkie.
“I don’t really know since I’m not from here, but everypony else seems to be shocked and Saddle Roam said he’d never encountered this on the road before.”
“Right, then. Can you calm everyone down and send them to their rooms? I would like to take a closer look without—”
Suddenly a pretty imposing stallion walked in, dressed in what looked like a British, navy blue, constable uniform and custodian helmet that would fit right in the early 1900s.
“Trottigham police! Everypony settle down and go back to your rooms. Everything is under control.” With a figure of authority in the room
“<Gasp> Doctor! Doctor! You work with the police! This is your element!”
“Excuse me young lady, please calm down. Also that stallion does not—”
“Actually I do.” The Doctor pulled out his Psychic Paper from his waistcoat’s pocket and almost shoved it into the constable’s snout.
“— O-Oh! V-very sorry, sir. We had sent a request for help, but we didn’t expect anypony to come so soon. F-From Scoltand Yard no less!”
“Well then you’re in luck. Detective Clockwork Hooves. Call me the Doctor. And that...” He motioned back at Pinkie. “... is my assistant.” Pinkie squealed in excitement and pranced over to the two, happy to be included in a mystery solving thing. She had read a mystery back at the rock farm, but she never imagined she would end up actually doing something like this in real life.
“Green?” Asked the constable, pointing at her with his eyes, frowning.
“Very. She’s quite bright though.”
“Assistant Detective Pinkie Pie! CALL ME PINKIE!” All but shouted the mare with exhilaration and a huge smile as she grabbed the constable’s hoof with both of hers and shook him up and down in a hoof shake.
“Physically adept too.” Added the Doctor.
“W-Well then!” He chuckled. “My partner and I will be moving Miss Note back to base. Come along please! Officer Copper would be happy to receive the news of your arrival, Doctor.”
“Of course. Just let me go grab my coat.”
The Doctor also grabbed Pinkie on his way up the stairs, the mare starting to skip and hop around him when he let go, the brightest look setting on her face as the Time Lord let his head rest on his hooves.
“Why did I do that?”
“Do what?”
“I was going to leave this situation be instead of sticking my nose in this mess! No, I know what I was doing: you said I was police and I went with the flow, running my mouth without thinking!” Pinkie landed in front of him after a larger hop, holding a hoof to her mouth as she whispered:
“You are not a policepony, are you?”
“What a sharp deduction. You should become a policepony with that sharpness.” Said the Doctor drily as he got up and began walking again.
“Ehehehe! You think~? Well I did actually read a mystery book so I kinda know what—”
“I was being sarcastic!”
“O-Oh...” Pinkie deflated a little. “Wait that means you made a joke! A bit of a mean joke, but a joke nonetheless! You do have a sense of humour!” The Doctor sighed.
“Listen, you seem the nice a nice; you honestly do. But ‘nice’ isn’t exactly enough. When we arrive at the police station you let me do the talking, alright?”
“Okie-dokie-lokie~! It does make sense. You did say I was your assistant and that I was green. Oooooh~ this is going to be so fun! I’ll be the Doctor Neightson to your Detective Sherluck Hooves! Wait, no, you want to be called the Doctor, so that won’t quite work...” Mumbled Pinkie by the end as the two made it down the stairs again.
Following the constable to base was pretty quick. Just a short ride in the police carriage with the crystallized body covered by a tarp, the two constables pulling the carriage. The Doctor really found it somewhat odd, only because he had experienced a rickshaw ride before. But having ponies pulling a carriage with him (a pony) simply sitting inside really gave him a different perspective on things.
They stopped at the back, since it was easier to cart the mare-turned-statue into the station without everypony watching, the Doctor and Pinkie being ushered in with Record Note in a large room that had apparently been set up exactly for this case, having plenty of space, a table where what seemed to be the remains of other crystallized ponies were, a blackboard and a corkboard with a map of the local geography, with markings where there were other sightings and potential sightings, seeing as some of the markings had ‘missing’ written next to them.
“All of them are different colours!” Exclaimed Pinkie as she picked one piece up. There were piles of purple, pink, blue, yellow and one single green crystal all by its lonesome.
“You do realise that’s a piece of a dead person you are holding, correct?” The Doctor asked as he grabbed a pen and marked where Miss Note was found on the map.
“It’s ‘pony’, not ‘person’ and yeah... I know. It’s kinda weird how something so pretty can be so bad at the same time.”
“Ah! The Detective Hooves and Detective Pie I presume.” Greeted a stallion as he entered the room, the statue being carted in with him by a pair of constables that quickly made their way out. He was a lanky unicorn, with a cream-brown coat, a dusty-blue mane and moustache, along with a navy blue suit and white shirt with a black tie. His Cutie Mark was a magnifying glass over a copper coin.
“The Doctor.” Replied the Time Lord.
“Pinkie!” Added Pinkie, following his lead.
“Okay... I see you have acquainted yourself with all the places possibly related with our case.”
“Twenty-five in total. This one strongly breaks with the pattern though. All other peo— ponies you’ve found were in the nearby forest or on the outskirts of town. Record Note is already in the town.”
“Exactly my worry. The killer is getting more and more overconfident thanks to our inability to find him or her!”
“Killer? This isn’t a killer! It’s somepony turning others into rock candy.” Called out pinkie as she put the piece of crystal back with the others.
“What? That can’t be right...” Muttered the Doctor as the officer facehoofed.
“Doctor, why did you brink a student fresh out of the academy with you?” He asked, Pinkie quickly trotting over to the crystallized mare and standing up on her hind legs.
“Looks like rock candy!” Pinkie said before putting her ear to it and knocking on it with a hoof. “Sounds like rock candy!” She then noisily dragged her tongue over the top of the statue. “Tastes like rock candy!”
The Doctor proceeded to pull out his sonic, waving it around with a <Bzzzz> and a green glow before flicking it, its claws extending as he read the readings off it, his eyes widening.
“It is rock candy— Well! It is and it isn’t. Record Note’s entire cellular makeup was genetically reconfigured to convert pretty much everything into glucose before crystallising.”
“So you’re saying she’s rock solid?” Asked pinkie with a knowing smile. The Doctor couldn’t even remotely keep it in and chuckled as he closed the sonic and put it back in his coat, Pinkie giggling quietly, happy that she was right about him having a ‘mean’ sense of humour.
“Unbelievable...” Muttered Copper, before speaking aloud. “Listen, I apologise for my rude dismissal Pinkie. Didn’t know you were a mineralogist. But could you please not joke about these kinds of things?”
“Sorry, sorry. I just don’t really comfortable if everything is serious all the time.”
“Right... Well my colts and I figured that all these attacks have to be within a close proximity of the town and within the forest. We had narrowed it down to a cave, since that’s about the only place where the perpetrator could hide, but...”
“You sent some of your me— colts in and they didn’t come out, did they?” Asked the Doctor.
“Precisely. That’s why I asked for additional help. To be perfectly honest, I’m not really sure what I can do with two experts— no offense. I needed muscle more than anything.”
“Oh there’s no need to worry about muscle. Substituting brains for brawn is within my skill set.”
“If you say so... So what do you two propose we do then? You managed to catch the perpetrator in the act now, but that’s not guaranteed to necessarily happen again, not to mention that whomever is doing this will more than likely stay hidden.”
“Maybe it’s related to these claw marks on her foreleg?” Asked Pinkie, the mare having continued to look over the crystallized Record Note. The two stallions looked where she pointed, but neither could really make heads or tails of the claw marks. The detective had simply assumed it to be the result of some form of assault, while the Doctor’s brain, still swimming with the last bits of regeneration energy he still had, couldn’t focus enough to come up with a reasonable deduction.
“Probably not important. We should focus on how to use this to set up a trap.” Said the Time Lord.
“Doctor... ?”
“Wha—? You can’t just use somepony as bait!”
“But she’s not ‘somepony’ anymore now is she? Besides...’ The Doctor walked over to one of the piles of crystals and threw one at the officer. “... whoever is doing this clearly wants to turn that statue into one of those tiny shards. Now tell me: would you rather wait for another victim so that we may try to catch our culprit? Or would you rather set up a controlled situation so that we will catch the culprit?”
“... When you put it like that, I suppose the latter option sounds better...”
“So we’re in agreement?” The Doctor asked, looking at both Copper and Pinkie. The latter nodded and the Time Lord could swear it sounded like she was shaking a pebble inside a metal can. Dismissing it, he smiled. “Grand! Now let’s figure out our game plan.”
Nightfall came. The time to move was now, as the plan dictated: everypony in the police station would help with this, moving the crystallised Record Note to a clearing in the nearby forest, while everypony would hide in the bushes with a net, some even having mirrors on hoof to reflect magic blasts away from them. Not that the Doctor realised, the officer and constable assuming that he had the standard issue mirror since he came from Scoltand Yard.
It was taking a few minutes, Pinkie whispering the Doctor ears off about how this stakeout reminded her of how she used to play hide and seek with her sisters at the rock farm. The game was apparently different from normal, with an emphasis on quickly running to ‘home base’ since there weren’t many places to actually hide. That and they used to play tag a lot in the off time. The Doctor found it surprising how easy it was to listen to all that and still focus. Well, being a Time Lord did provide him with better focus, but usually he needed to put in conscious effort. Seemed his last life’s desire to be less spastic paid off.
Suddenly the bushes rustled and out came a creature. It looked like a somewhat translucent cross between a snake, a mare and a fish. Its lower body was just a tail while its upper body was pony-like. It was pink, with glowing white eyes, no eyes of pupil. It had fins on its front legs, as well as a fin that stretched along the top of its tail. Instead of a mane it had what looked like eels, each of them sporting a big glowing eye in tootles mouths. The creature slowly, carefully, slid towards Record Note.
“What in Celestia’s name is that...?!” Whispered Copper.
“Our culprit...” Replied the Doctor. “THE NET! NOW!” He shouted, getting most everypony out of their shock and putting the plan in motion. The constables ran out and threw the rope at the monster, taking it off guard. Pinkie hopped out of the bushes a second later with a magic dampening collar, because apparently those were a thing.
Then things really went off the rails.
From other bushes rushed other creatures just like the pink one, except they were coloured purple, yellow and blue. Stallions screamed as the creatures flashed powerful lights from their eyes, the Doctor in particular getting caught by the blue creature, the light gray stallion covering his eyes as he felt something... solidify?! No! No, no, no!
His body taking on a golden glow as he curled up on himself. He body went ramrod straight, his forelegs, wings and head suddenly sticking as the energy exploded out of him, sending the crystallised ponies and creatures away, while at the same time causing the blue crystal that formed to be shattered and launched out of his body. The Doctor coughed out the last of his regeneration energy, no longer feeling that dull pain in the back.
“My wings grew properly!”
“DOC! A LITTLE HELP?!” Screeched Pinkie as she was hopping between creatures, Officer Copper using an eight shot pepper-box revolver to try and scare away the assailants, seeing they were a bit too slippery to properly shoot.
“Coming! Whatever you do, DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT!”
Running over, the some of the creatures turned to him Doctor closing his eyes as he pulled out his sonic and setting it to stun. The loud noise that came out send ripples into the air and caused the monster’s the screech in pain and quickly slide away.
<Bang>
Another screech was heard after that shot, this one from the monster that Officer Copper was fighting. The creature was downed and the stallion was breathing laboriously. After seeing that Pinkie was alright (and clearing her ears of wax with her hooves), the Doctor turned and ran towards the Officer.
“Ha-Ha! Seventh time’s the charm!”
“No! Why did you do that?!” Exclaimed the Time Lord as he slapped the gun way from the officer’s hoof.
“It was going to turn me into crystal!”
“Why didn’t you use magic to non-lethally dispatch it?! You’re a Unicorn for crying out loud!”
“Bro...ther...”
“Um Doc?”
“I TRIED! MY SLEEPING SPELL DIDN’T WORK ON IT!” Shouted the officer.
“Brown pony... will pay...”
“Doc!”
“YOU COULD HAVE JUST RAN AROUND LIKE PINKIE DID!” Shouted the Doctor back, butting heads with Copper.
“Doctor!”
“WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ANYWAY?! THESE AREN’T PONIES, THEY’RE MONSTERS! MONSTERS WHICH COULD HAVE ENDED THE LIVES OF ALL MY STALLIONS!”
“MONSTERS?! WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THEY CAN SPEAK OR NOT! WHAT IF THERE’S A REASON THEY ARE DOING THIS, HOWEVER MISGUIDED?!”
“DOCTOR!”
“WHAT?!”
“She can speak.”
“You will pay for hurting brother... You are not even worth devouring... We shall strip you for fuel!”
“By Celestia the thing can speak...” Muttered Officer Copper as he grabbed his gun and pointed it at the creature, the Doctor lowering it before he approached the creature.
“You said devouring. Is turning prey into crystallised glucose how you make it appetising?” Asked the Doctor as he began scanning the creature with his sonic. He didn’t really have a database that would allow him to identify it, but the readings did answer the question. She doesn’t have a stomach and her intestines lack the bacteria necessary to process anything other than pure glucose, meaning that this crystallisation process is a form of extrastomachal digestion. He relayed this information to Pinkie in a simplified form.
“...”
“You mentioned fuel? Fuel for what?”
“<Hiss>”
“How many of you are there?”
“One less than before because of him!”
“We didn’t mean to hurt you. We were just scared! Let’s talk this out!” Said Pinkie, trying to play good cop.
“Talk with you?! Never! It won’t matter anyway! Mother will deal with you!”
Upon hearing that the Doctor took a better look at the creature. She wasn’t as ferocious once he got past all the glowing eyes. In fact she looked weak, thin, as if she hadn’t eaten. It wasn’t hard to tell that what she was telling was full of bravado. Sure she wasn’t lying, but she seemed genuinely scared of what would happen to her, like a wounded animal lashing out.
From the worried smile upon Pinkie’s face, the Doctor could tell he was looking with worry at the creature, so he steeled and had the officer tell his stallions to round up the dead and living creatures. Still no name for them though. Putting the two in an even larger carriage that the police ponies at their disposal, they all started returning to the station.
“So what are they?” Asked Pinkie Pie, whispering.
“Not sure. The closest equivalent I have in my mind in terms of appearance is Medusa.”
“Manedusa?”
“... Yes, Manedusa.”
“She looks really sad.”
“Her brother was killed.”
“Hey! Do you want to play Rummy? It will get your mind off... you know.” Asked Pinkie, pulling the pack of cards out of her mane. The creature hissed.
“Assistant Detective Pinkie!”
“I’m honestly surprised you can speak and understand us.” Everypony turned to the Doctor upon hearing him say that.
“Mother taught... Helps us understand.”
“You grew up here, didn’t you?”
“Doctor, not to question your methods, but what does knowing if this thing lived here all its life accomplish?” Asked Officer Copper.
“<Hiss>”
“Of come now, I was reaching an understanding! It was grand, why did you have to interfere.”
“That’s really mean. Can’t we just talk things out? I’m sure we can think of something to make everypony happy!”
“Pinkie the purpose of justice isn’t making ‘everypony happy’! The purpose of justice is making sure that those responsible for evil are properly punished!”
“I find it will be hard to condemn these creatures, with a completely different understanding of justice, for trying to feed themselves—”
“— ‘Feed themselves’?! These things have taken the lives of twenty-eight ponies now, Doctor!”
“Oh I’m not in any way discounting the lives lost. I’m just trying to put things into perspective: You’re nothing to them but food and fuel, since they are able to overpower you while starving. Even if we do manage to catch them all, what are we to do with them? Try them and put them prison? What would you propose in terms of feeding them? Giving away the bad prisoners?”
“I... That’s not my concern. All I have to do is provide closure for the families that have been hurt by these monsters. As for who is stronger... I can suggest you look to your left to see that those things bleed the same.”
Pinkie had gone quiet the rest of the ride, having this sort of... empty look in her eye. She was clearly thinking about what’s been happening, from what the Doctor could tell. Seeing such an energetic and happy spirit be crushed under the weight of facing hard decisions was not something pleasant in any way. The Doctor hoped she would bounce back. For everypony’s sake.
“Hey Doctor, I just realized something!” Exclaimed Pinkie with exuberance as they all got out of the carriage.
“What’s that?”
“We could feed them actual rock candy!”
“Pardon?”
“You said that if we tried them and put them in prison we’d need to feed them something. Can’t we just feed them actual rock candy?”
“Well... Crystallised glucose is not exactly the same thing, but yes, that could potentially work. Grand idea Pinkie.”
“YEEPEE!” She exclaimed as she jumped in the air, before turning to the officer and the Manedusa mare. “You hear that? We don’t have to hurt each other anymore! We could solve this easily. Everypony will be happy!”
“And what of the families that were hurt?”
“We can still have a trial and stuff and then the bad prisoners won’t have to be fed to the Manedusas!”
“Mane-what?”
“Ahahahahaha! You think you have the upper hoof? How delusional. I lived on planet knowing the simple truth: no thing stops mother! Continue with your ideas though! It is very funny!”
The Manedusa was moved into a cell, the officer going to write a report and for a letter asking for the creature to be moved to a more secure location. The Doctor asked the constables to be on look out for anything, seeing as he highly doubted the Manedusa’s boast of being saved by her ‘mother’ was just hot air.
And cue the chaos. Quite literally in fact. Not too long after everypony came back ponies started screaming as a large, green serpentine creature matching the description of the other Manedusas had arrived in Trottingham. And if that wasn’t enough, the other smaller Manedusas were with her. This was not the same situation as before, when there were disappearances. This was a large scale attack. The Manedusas were no longer interested in food, actually killing ponies instead of crystallising them.
The mother Manedusa smashed strait into the police station, freeing her offspring looking for the one that killed her other one. She couldn’t find him, Copper having run away as fast as he could to hide. What the Manedusas did find, however, was Pinkie, which hid under a table, unlike the Doctor.
“Mother take her! She is funny! She be bait too!”
“What a wonderful idea, my child!” Exclaimed the mother Manedusa before cackling, using her tail to snatch Pinkie, throwing the table to the side.
“Doctor! Help!”
“NO! LEAVE HER! TAKE ME INSTEAD!” Shouted the Doctor, the mother Manedusa cackling and smacking him into a wall with her tail, before slithering away.
As quickly as the chaos and carnage came, so it went. There were a few ponies that were crystallised in the end, but the vast majority were just simply murdered in cold blood. And for what? For what?!
“A-Are they gone...?” Asked Copper. The Doctor, groaning, got up from the floor and looked in the stallion’s direction.
“And where were you...? Ow... I thought these things ‘bleed the same’.”
“You know very well that this is not the same situation Doctor!”
“Oh really? Because I distinctly recall me getting mad at you for killing one of the Manedusa’s kind!”
“How was I supposed to know—?”
“YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME IN THEIR PLACE!”
“...” The officer said nothing, instead just looking down. The Doctor sighed. He knew what he had to do, but it didn’t make things any easier. It never did.
“Gather your men— colts— and let’s go.”
“Go? Go where? And what colts? There is nopony left that is actually capable right now.”
“The cave you said they must be hiding. And if that’s the case, then you’ll have to do.”
“Very well then... I clearly can’t stop you and I won’t let you run in there alone. If I am to die today, then so be it.”
The Doctor and Officer Copper walked as the moon was high through the forest. To the latter’s credit, no sound of the forest deep into the night seemed to scare him, although the former had no idea the reason for it was that on this planet, in this dimension, forests were generally not as scary thanks to ponies being the ones responsible for their upkeep. The Doctor followed the officer, occasionally pointing out he was going the wrong way, the light gray stallion already having memorised the map.
Eventually, the two arrived at their destination. The mouth of the cave looked strangely... smooth. Caves are usually the result of, erosion through time, dissolution thanks to underground water flows and/or rainwater and occasionally even lava contributes. This, however, seemed to be the result of nothing but heat, the cave wall having metamorphosed, having remained solid while changing its chemical makeup instead up cooling after melting, or eroding... It was almost as if...
“... Something rammed through here.” Muttered the Doctor, his voice echoing through the tunnel.
“What?”
“This cave wasn’t formed under natural conditions. It is almost like something very large and very hot came in here and sculpted them to this shape... Actually now that I consider it, even the shape is strange. Why take this oval, almost biconvex shape?”
“Bi-what?”
“Biconvex. Like the lenses in telescopes. Now shush. I think we’re reaching the end of the cave.”
The two stallions began to silently sneak. Moving a bit slower and more carefully, Copper was able to well conceal his sound while the Doctor, still unfamiliar with hooves, made some noise. When the sound of slithering was heard, the former hid, while the latter decided to stand his, or rather sit on it, the Time Lord taking a seat on the stony, somewhat damp cave floor and raising his front hooves in front of him.
“I am only here to talk. Take me to your mother.”
The two Manedusas’ eels shared looks as their two main eyes regarded the gray ponies. Their sister never said anything about him coming armed, only that he had something that could make a very loud, unpleasant noise. She also spoke of how this stallion had actively tried to keep things peaceful, even if that brown pony and her wanted nothing more than to go fangs to gun and tear into one another.
So the two decided to lead him to their mother. The Doctor sneakily looked behind every once in a while, making sure that the officer was following behind them all. As the cave’s corridor stretched on towards its deeper innards, the place began to glow, becoming brighter and warmer. Eventually the light gray Pegasus found himself in a cavern, this one much more eroded, but also clearly dug out, a wreckage of a ship sitting in the middle of it, along with the mother Manedusa and the daughter who had demanded Pinkie’s capture. Speaking of, the pink mare was still held in the mother’s serpentine tail, Pinkie’s pupils and irises swimming around her white sclera as she deftly avoided looking into the crystallising light. Copper quickly moved behind a large stalagmite sprouting from the cavern floor, the stallion pulling out his gun as he murmured a little prayer to Celestia.
“Ah, so that’s where the warmth and light were coming from!” Called out the Doctor as he eyed a crystalline sphere glowing in the wreckage. “Is it truly alright to leave your ship’s power source like that? One bad jolt and it could explode.”
“Doctor! You came to save me!” Exclaimed Pinkie happily as she basically melted out from the mother Manedusa’s grasp and bounded over to the light gray stallion’s side.
“WHAT?!” Exclaimed the Manedusas.
“How did you do that?!” Ask the Doctor.
“I just ran over to you when I saw you, silly~!” Replied the mare with a giggle.
“No matter! You two will not make it out of here alive!” Exclaimed the mother as all the Manedusas coiled, just about ready to attack the two ponies.
“Wait, wait, wait! I have a grand idea. One that doesn’t involve us dying: I could fix your ship.”
“And who says I want this ‘fixed’? Who says I am not interested in simply remaining here. My children have grown up in this cave after all. They know nothing else.”
“What is your name?”
“Atolla.”
“I am the Doctor. Now, excuse my meddling, but would you rather not live back there, among the stars? Do you not want your children to experience the joy of the universe, to see the world you grew up on at the very least? Would it not be better for us all to bury the hatchet, to acknowledge what has recently happened and understand that, perhaps, there can be a better way?”
“That is easy for you to say, Doctor. It is not your child that has been hurt. It is not your child that needs vengeance. You have no understanding for what it feels like, as a mother, to know that your child has been taken away from you!”
“Perhaps not as a mother, but I was a father once, a grandfather too. And believe me, I have felt the pain of losing people many, many times...”
Pinkie looked at him as he stared fearlessly into the eyes of Atolla. His eyes held the same immeasurable sadness as before. Atolla herself could recognise the ancient wisdom that was to be found in those golden eyes which looked at her not with pity, but with kindness, along with a tiny bit of anger and disappointment.
The stare off continued for a couple of moments, the silence deafening. Officer Copper tried to get a shot on the crystal thing, having heard what The Doctor said earlier, cursing that he was unable to find more than one bullet at the station’s armoury. Pinkie was biting her hooves, sweating profusely as she waited for something— anything— to happen. Looking at her for a moment, The Doctor got an idea:
“How about we make a bet?”
“I’m listening?”
“We’ll play a one game of Rummy. First to get a matching set of cards, wins. If I win, you forget about your revenge. I will fix your ship and you and your children can go home, never to return here.”
“And if I win, the settlement is forfeit, along with your lives!”
“Sounds good to me! Pinkie will be dealing us. She’s the best at properly stacking the deck after all.” Pinkie blinked, realising what the Doctor was implying there, a big smile forming on her face as she pulled out her deck from her mane.
“O~kay!” She exclaimed as she got to work, while the Time Lord explained the rules to Atolla.
“Alrighty! Ten cards per player! The one with the better meld WINS!”
“Now what? We match cards and put them down?”
“Yes.”
The two got to work, the Doctor quickly finding out he had a pure sequence from two straight to ten. As he quickly discarded his king of diamonds and put down his, Atolla did the same with her queen of hearts. Her run only went from three to seven, being much weaker.
“The Doctor has the better hoof! He wins!”
“WHAT?!”
“You cheated!”
“There no way mother lost!”
“Mother never lose!” The other Manedusas continued to get even angrier as they bore their fangs and hissed, Atolla then screaming, before lunging for the two ponies.
“RUN!” Ordered the Doctor as he grabbed hold of Pinkie and pulled her to run with.
“My cards!”
“I will get you a replacement deck! NOW RUN!”
The Manedusas slithered quickly after the two ponies, Officer Copper smirking as everypony finally got out of the way, the stallion taking the shot at the crystal that apparently served to power the ship as the Doctor and Pinkie ran past his stalagmite, the brown stallion taking off right after them as the crystal exploded, sending energy shooting out into the walls. The entire cave shook as chunks of rock began to break, the walls cracked, the infernal noise accompanied by the chorus of angry screeching from the slithering aliens as they tried to catch up, but couldn’t.
The three ponies managed to make it out of the cave, its entrance collapsing on top of Atolla, smashing her head and leaving her buried under in stone forever. If her children managed to survive, then they would not live long.
“...Why...?” Asked Pinkie, making the two stallions to look at her, noticing how utterly deflated she was, her once poufy mane having turned straight as tears went down her face. “Why did they have to do that...? We were going to fix things, fix their ship-thingy and then they would have been able to go home and forget about what happened here! Nopony had to get hurt more than they already have been!”
“It’s not that simple, Pinkie... It’s never that simple.”
“I would personally like to know... What in Tartarus name was that?!”
“‘That’ is something you will never speak of again. Now please excuse us. We have to return to Scoltand Yard to report.” Said the Doctor as he quickly helped Pinkie up and lead her through the forest.
The mare really didn’t understand. She really didn’t. There was a way for them all to simply stop the suffering, to make everypony happy... but not every pony would be happy, would they? Pinkie thought back to what Officer Copper said about families, about how he was meant to bring justice for all whom were hurt. But Atolla, she wanted justice too, in a way. She was going about it in all the wrong ways, at least that’s what Pinkie thought... but would it not have been better for her to just... forgive? For the officer to forgive. For everypony to just forgive each other and find ways to just... be.
“You’ve seen my world. Still think it’s ‘fun’?” Asked the Doctor, pulling the mare out of her thoughts. She noticed that they were back where the blue box was.
“No... B-But we tried o-our best at least, didn’t we? In the end it was Atolla’s choice... what she did... right?” Pinkie smiled at him.
“Quite...” The two stood there silently, for a few moments. “Listen: Since your ride probably left, was injured or was killed in the attack, I will take you to where you needed to go. Then you will forget about me. Forget what you saw today. You will go and live your life.”
“Wha—? I can’t just leave you alone like this!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re sad! I may not know much, I may just be barely a mare coming from the country, but I can see it. It’s obvious... You’re alone, and if I can’t brighten up everypony’s day, then my name is not Pinkie Pie!” Exclaimed the mare as she stomped a hoof, her mane turning poufy once again.
The doctor just gave her a deadpan look as he pulled his key out of his coat and unlooked the door with a <Squeak>. The light gray stallion walked in, Pinkie following behind him. The mare gasped she looked around, her eyes sparkling at what she saw. The atmosphere was dark and the room was large, with a neoclassical decor. The walls were smooth, dark brown marble with round glass things, matching the ebony wood flooring. In the middle of the room there was a console, dark red with gold trimming, looking rather Steampunk, with old levers and switches, gauges, typewriter buttons and gears. Stretching all the way to the ceiling from the console was a glass cylinder, glowing a warm orange— like a campfire— serving as the only source of light. Around the console were comfy chairs and over to its northwest, away from the door, was an ornate loveseat, while to its southeast and southwest, close to the door, were two statues, one depicting a fierce Pegasus stallion wearing his centurion armour and holding a lightning shield from back when the pony tribes were still separated. The other one depicted a a unicorn mare on her back, the back of her hoof over her face as she seemed to be decrying something, the mare wearing a unicorn tribe dress. To the immediate east and west of the console were two doorways and to the north, behind the console itself, was a bifurcated staircase leading to a second level, with doors in all cardinal points, the walls up there decorated with bookshelves, and an easy seat placed there with a small desk and lamp, for reading. To the left and right of each door there were ornate, gold candle holders providing additional light.
“Looks like she cleaned up...” Murmured the Doctor.
“Doctor! Your box! Your police Box! It’s— It’s—!”
“Yeeeees?”
“IT’S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!” The Doctor nodded at that. Different species, same reaction. It was always so satisfying to hear those words and to hear the excitement, but the Time Lord had something to do.
“Right! First things first...” The Doctor began, going around the console— which matched better with his height now— and turned on isomorphic controls. He needed to change into something more fitting and, to be perfectly honest, he expected the hyperactive mare to touch something. At least like this his TARDIS wouldn’t be going anywhere. “I need to change out of this. I will be back in a minute. After that there is a place I want to go to in order to check for something.”
“<Gasp> You have a wardrobe in here? Can I try some costumes on?”
“No offense, but I’d rather not have a mess in there, if I can help it.”
“I promise not to make a mess then!” The Doctor sighed, before an idea came to him.
“If you’re insistent on travelling with me, then you might as well get comfortable. Take that door over there, then the second right, up the stairs, third door on the left there will be a guest room. Also you should go get your things from the hotel.”
“I get my own room?! EEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHE!” Pinkie was off like a rocket, allowing the Doctor to go to his wardrobe.
The stallion searched for a while, seeing that all his clothes had turned pony, along with him. That was... concerning, since at no point did going to another planet change his wardrobe. At no point did his physiognomy change to such an extreme degree as of now, in fact. Speaking of, the weirdest part was that he seemed to know everything by instinct: how to pick stuff up, how to walk. His wings weren’t exactly second nature to him, but they did not feel out of place either, especially after they grew properly. It was frankly bizarre.
After a while, the doctor did find something that he liked: he put on a white shirt with a standing collar, worn under a grey, Regency era waistcoat with a high collar, both of covering his neck. Over that he wore a black, double breasted, unbuttoned, Regency era tailcoat. Finally, adorning his neck, the doctor found a beautiful cravat to match his eyes, the stallion trying it with a barrel knot. Returning to the console room, he found that Pinkie was back, breathing with a little difficulty.
“Doctor, Doctor... ! The door has my Cutie Mark now... !”
“Really—? Wait, what is a ‘Cutie Mark’?”
“It’s the symbol on our backs. Yours is an hourglass, mine is balloons.”
“Oh, these things! I had wondered why I had tattoos on the sides of my rump.” Pinkie snorted and giggled quietly at that.
“Rump...”
With a quick flick of lever, pushing of buttons, flicking of switches and turning of knobs, the Doctor quickly ran around his console, leaving the handbrake— Or would it be hoofbrake now?— pulled, before pulling the dematerialisation lever. Destination: Earth.
“You have reached your destination.”
“Wow! Your ship can speak? That’s so cool Doctor!”
