Perhaps I passed from my human form in my sleep, ripped out of my vessel by some manner of gas leak or explosion. Perhaps jokes I myself had partaken in had retroactively became foreshadowing as a truck turned my body into a cloud of viscera, leaving no trace of my now discarded body. Maybe I had been knifed or shot, maybe I tripped and snapped my neck or busted my head open, maybe some disease ran through my body silently and made quick work of my organs- whether conscious or asleep, whether it had been peaceful or bloody, whether it had been an inevitability or avoidable, on this night the human me died, unaware, and the Changeling me was born, in a quite literal sense.
I found myself entombed in green, filled with a newfound instinct to move a body currently unfamiliar to the conscious me, a body that some physical part of me now understood as my own, not in thoughts I could cling to but in automated action. I kicked my feet- hooves, now, and more numerous than I last recalled- out, breaking through the cocoon surrounding me before I process what I was doing, before I could ask myself why I was doing this. I slipped out in a cascade of goo onto the grass below me, my mind in fragments splintering apart. The fleeting, rapidly floating away human portion of me was absolutely gobsmacked by every single physical sensation that was assaulting my new highly sensitive body, while some animal impulse forced itself to the forefront of my mind, heedless of any confusion and focused on my continued fresh survival. This was my body, and much like any equine I had known in my life as a homo sapien, I was ready to stand and walk moments after "birth", which my mind distantly decided this must have been. It was some sort of sloppy wet beginning- if that wasn't birth, what was? I flexed my hooves, investigating the strange appendages and how comfortable I felt within them, my brain very slowly catching up with my already active form.
I was stark black where the green goo was slipping off of whatever hard material I was made of. I tapped what would have been my wrist if I were human to test the material, and my aim, for that matter, momentarily enamored by how I could well hold myself up on just my hind legs while manipulating my front hooves into the air, listening to the little 'ting, ting' of something thin and brittle. I was strong enough to be walking around on four legs, but not as sturdy as I imagined an equine ought to be- I felt a bit vulnerable, like a good healthy smack might make me splatter instead of thud- a rather upsetting mental image to procure. I was decidedly bug-like in nature, I surmised, further analyzing the holes that dotted my limbs which no other organic creature would likely have, leaving me with no room inside these limbs to have bones. That taxonomy would also explain why my birth left me with no mother. I checked back at the location of my emergence just to ensure I had not missed any creature who might have brought me into this world, and sure enough, there was only a thin green husk hanging from a tree, cracked open and leaking some remnants of green ooze. I was standing in a puddle of it, I only realized after setting my hoof back down, and drew it back up in momentary decidedly human disgust. The split in my mind deepened- how was I to be disgusted from what was only natural? In such a strange situation, I could not partake in the luxury of disgust and wariness. I had to investigate, I had to get a grip on what I had found myself lost in.
I sniffed my hoof, startled by some sort of... sensation it exuded. It was something like a smell, in the sense that an organ parsed some sort of stimuli it radiated, and it was very reminiscent of fragrance in how floaty it was, how it settled into the brain as pleasant, but I figured it could not literally be a smell, I could not connect it to anything I had formerly taken a whiff of. It was simply something extra, a sixth sense employed to tell me that this might be delicious. I nearly unconsciously clocked that I was not hungry- I felt much more in tune with the exactness of how full my stomach was and how energized my body was, reflecting that, compared to my former existence quantifying myself only as 'hungry' or 'full'- but I still felt the need to lick my hoof, experimentally at first, to confirm my suspicions.
Much like how interpreting the "feeling" of this substance was past smell, consuming it was past taste. I was once more at a loss for words on how to connect the experience of lapping at it to anything I had in the past ingested. It barely pinged anything within my mouth, but deep in my core I felt immense pleasure and a yawning desire for more, something like an artificial zing of serotonin. The human portion of me was pushed further and further from my mind and I leaned down and began taking in mouthfuls of the unfortunately scant semi-liquid. While a human would never stoop so low as to lick at dirty grass, I found myself uncaring given the scenario. There was no one here to judge me, as far as I knew, and any thought of sickness that I might pick up from the ground was thrown out the window given how unfamiliar my new form was. Hell, I was some sort of equine, as far as I could tell from context clues, despite the coloration and bug-like nature, so snuffling around in the grass was expected of me. In moments the grass was pristine, licked clean of any strange green slime. The only remnant of my birth was me and the cocoon... I considered it for a moment before leaning in, sniffing it to ensure it had the same "sense" that the goo did, then took a bite after I had confirmed that was the case. The "taste" was a bit less potent, thick with some sort of "filler"- I imagined it must be like what eating wood would be like, if I had to guess, though the impossibility of connecting these sensations were not lost on me.
Once I had finished my first meal, I took the time to actually lock in and focus on my surroundings. I was under some sort of large tree, and as far as I could tell, I was within a thick, dark forest. It was a bright sunny day despite the canopy above blocking some of the light, allowing me to see my surroundings well despite the pockets of darkness surrounding me where the layers of leaves fully obfuscated the sky. There were some bright green orbs exuding, vaguely, the "smell" I so hungered for, and the longer I considered them, the hungrier I felt; however, they were too high for me to consider grabbing. Actually, the silliest thought floated into my mind; couldn't I fly up and get them? My head whipped around to my back, expecting in my conscious mind to see a smooth back, but just barely in vision were two thin, transparent, hole filled wings. I really shouldn't be so surprised by how increasingly strange my body had become. I flapped them experimentally, actively pushing away my human thoughts about how hole-y wings could not lift my form no matter my lack of bones, yet when I kicked them into gear, I found myself flittering upwards with a buzz. The rapturous wonder of first flight ripped through me, and I found myself smiling, feeling so strange with my new long mouth, with my new sharp teeth. Still, somehow, it felt only natural- of course I could fly like this. I ascended to the level of the orbs, reaching out before stopping dead in my tracks. I felt some sort of valley of dread make itself known at the thought of scooping these things off their branches, regardless of how much I consciously wanted to consume them. Unsettled by this instinctual warning, I let myself float downwards back to Earth (if I could call it that!), pawing at the ground beneath me almost sheepishly.
Aside from eat, what was I supposed to be doing? Eating seemed like the only thing that made sense, though some part of me understood now what I could not eat. The still lingering human part of me wondered if there were others like me out there, and if I ought to try and find them. Perhaps then I could explain my ordeal to them- if I could still speak, if I could automatically understand them!- and they would help me, or at least set me on some sort of path. The part of me that instinctively understood what was happening, what I was, was further unsettled by the thought. Some distant, tiny part of me knew I could not be seen, that the populace of this land would not help me, though I could not argue with this train of thought given the current lack of evidence. I settled, then, on digging a small me-sized divet into the dirt in front of this tree and curling up within it. I would just wait. If someone found me, that would inform my next decisions, but first I must be found, and all I could do until then was submit to unconsciousness uneasily.
Quite obviously, I’m not exactly sure how long I was asleep at the foot of that tree. When I awoke next, it was just as bright as it had been when I slept, the sun held high in the middle of the sky and filtered through the canopy in little shattered pieces. Just as I had felt more in tune with the exact capacity by which my stomach was filled- slightly less now that I had rested, for that matter- it felt as if I could quantify my exhaustion directly, as if it were some sort of gauge I could reference and read easily. In the same way I must have naturally kept myself upright as a human and knew to breath in and out at even intervals, I could simply tap into this reservoir of knowledge naturally.
These changes had yet to fully settle into the human part of my brain; if I were truly present, I would almost certainly be more confused, more inquisitive, more afraid, but what was fear worth at this current moment? I was in uncharted land in an unfamiliar body; as I had decided yesterday, fear was a luxury I could no longer partake in. What would fear do for me? As far as I knew, there was no way to return to my human body, much less home. I had to remain collected, to not be ungrateful for whatever grip I could get on this slippery situation, so I accepted these new sensations readily.
What had compelled me to wake up after what could have well been multiple days asleep? My ear twitched as I started to analyze my surroundings, hearing the telltale trodding and snapping sound of a creature traipsing through the thick woods around us, and my mouth opened unintentionally as my brain was flooded with that delightful “smell” I had sensed from the liquid before, thick in the air and beckoning me to action. Something was running about, and it must have been just as delicious as the goo I’d consumed greedily. If I were more human, I might have hesitated and reconsidered my next course of action, but the remnants of that life were leaving me quickly, especially with the encouragement of this meal like a carrot on a stick in front of a mountable animal (could I make comparisons like that when I was in this form?).
I stood quickly and ran a few paces into the dark forest surrounding the little area I now considered home, now covered in darkness sans little spots of light that barely made my form visible. My lanky dark figure must have fit in with the surrounding trees. If I were to extract the taste I so desired from whatever was around the corner, I figured I must need to sneak up on it, and I stopped before I got too close. Whatever it was, my ears could pick up that it was getting nearer. The time spent waiting allowed my eyes to become acclimated to the dark as I stood stock still in anticipation.
In mere moments, I could finally see what was producing the noise, what manner of creature populated this strange new Earth I had found myself trapped in. It was quite easy to spot in contrast to the darkness and muddy colors I had become familiar with, given it was a bright gaudy pink color across its soft body, topped with pale hair and tail. It shared the same body plan as me, some sort of equine, though its curves and features remained a bit alien, at least compared to the gangly tall horses I once knew and even compared to my chitinous form. Its hooves belled out towards the bottom and its muzzle had an almost pug-like slant to it, and I considered if it must be a bug like me given how huge its gleaming eyes were, which were focused on a butterfly flittering in arcs before it. It was a touch smaller than me, though I had no idea what that meant relative to the populace at large given I hadn’t seen a sample size large enough to generalize yet- I figured this behavior, though, chasing butterflies, was decidedly childish. Perhaps the large eyes were a symptom of its youth, then.
Again, if I were more human, I would not have done what then hashed out, but taking the situation realistically, I was a creature in need of subsistence and no longer privileged enough to live in a house with a stocked kitchen full of food that I never needed to consider the source of. In this unknown new environment, if the opportunity to feast presented itself to me, I simply had to pursue it, lest I miss out on a meal that might be crucial to my continued survival, which still vexed me so but nonetheless I felt the need to defend. If I was more present, I might have clocked the separation in my mind as dissociation, but by definition I simply was not of right mind enough to label it as such if it were the case- or perhaps the magical slipping of dimensions and bodies had a literal physiological toll on me, splitting my mind in two. I could not know at the moment. Regardless, the human part of me disappeared for a moment, and I worked on instinct once more. Vicious, animal instinct.
The young creature (a small horse? A pony?) had lost sight of the butterfly, and only now seemed to realize that it was deep in the woods and visibility was difficult when not pursuing a point of color which, elevated, often caught the light above it. It seemed worried, hesitant, ambling as if unsure, and when it turned from where I had lied in wait, I ran directly towards it, mouth agape, fangs poised, consciously blank on what I could possibly be doing. My body knew better than my mind; the small pony screamed for only a moment, its mouth stretched as wide as my own was in some apparent, silent agony as the extraordinary sense once more flooded my body. I could nearly see it, the pink mist leaving this creature, filling me to the brim and then some. It was past consuming a good meal, better than anything I’d eaten with my homo sapien mouth, and much more euphoric than that. Was this what people talked about when they spoke about the serotonin boosts of sugar, distilled and tenfold? Once again, I had no luxury to consider that; all I knew was that this act, ripping and tearing the glorious “feeling” from this creature was the most rapturous comfort I may have ever felt in either of my lives, as short as the second one current has been.
Eventually, though, the flow became to taper off, much to my chagrin. My body felt as if I needed more, and I was not practiced enough to hold back, either way; I continued with more fervor, feeling in my core that pulling, the sense that my very being was yanking something extra out of this creature, and it began to feel as if this thread was fraying, that tension grew so thick it had to snap eventually. The creature, held in some sort of green aura (was that coming from me?), kicked its legs desperately as its eyes rolled back, its colors losing saturation and its body losing a bit of that noticeable plumpness. Then, drained of energy, it grew still.
I came back into full consciousness, suddenly aware that I had almost certainly killed this thing- this living filled with some youthful whimsy enough so to chase bugs, a creature that must have been sapient enough to feel joy and fear. Dissociation was the best word for what I was going through; I had to separate myself from this, confused and horrified by my actions while my body soothed me, felt this dastardly pleasure in betrayal to my mind. I felt as if I had done the right thing; I felt like a murderer.
I had to investigate the body further, to ensure it was dead, though I could already sense it in that sixth+ sense I was becoming so familiar with. The glorious scent had left its body, and now only the ghost of it lingered on its pale fur. Whatever this wonderful smell was, even once I had gouged all I could out of it, it still permeated through the creature, as if its very flesh was steeped in the stuff. Leaning down, sniffling, I considered that line of thought. I had to get rid of this body somehow. I was an animal now, something with fangs that only seemed right to rip and tear with. I was no longer human, I could not retain my human fear of raw meat as I now no longer had the human privileges of comfort I once had. I dissociated further as I set myself to consume this creature fully.
I returned to my little divet in the ground, rubbing myself against the dirt to try and mop the blood off of my body, most of which had already been shaken off during the process of digging a small hole, shoving the non-edible portions in, and burying it back up (down?). Even as my chitin shined black once more, I still felt dirty. Was this the new normal for me? With no way back home and no one to save me, I could only assume as such. I curled up to sleep, staring up at the little orbs clinging to the branches above me. They had grown substantially, perhaps retroactively informing me that a few good days had passed with how plump they’d become. Once more I felt myself growing hungry as I focused on the little spheres, and had to consciously tear my eyes away from them, sighing as I closed my eyes. My body felt so modular, so separate; it felt like operating a machine, with percent guages to monitor statistics, and with a clinical detachment from my conscious self and the memory of me. Would I get used to this eventually?
Once more, several days spent unconscious came to pass. The fullness I felt after feeding began to dwindle a rather substantial amount, pulled out of me perhaps more quickly than it ought to for a creature who was doing nothing but sleeping thus remaining completely stationary and inert, not that I could analyze this disparity during my slumber. I again found myself waking when events began to unfold around me, my head snapping up at attention once I heard a sort of crinkling, tearing sound.
In my little burrow on the ground, I stared up at the canopy above me, noticing immediately that what I had originally assumed were little green berries had grown while I slept, each at least as large as the soles of my new feet (hooves? Was it called a frog?) and paler, almost milky in coloration. One, however, had grown to about the size of my head, and had apparently fallen from the tree, splitting open on the ground. Only now did I realize that the orbs were not food, but instead eggs, hopefully of my species.
Whatever depression I had been feeling from my recent horrific crime was extinguished as my human mind overpowered the rest of me, mingling with my natural instincts of protection to my own kind. Humans were social creatures, and I was really not sure how much longer I could have lasted without any positive interactions with anyone I could relate to, being totally alone in the world, isolated and likely in danger from a survivalist point of view. I leap to my feet, eager to see the newly born creature, still working its way through its encasement. It was similar to my own rebirth, though I didn’t recall the cocoon I had squirmed out of being as small or light as this egg, nor did I remember being so damn small.
The creature crawling out of its egg reinforced my belief that I was an insectoid; it’s huge head was similar to an equines though with a more curvaceous snout, its pale back half was grub-like, largely pale but spotted in near black like its face. Its wide eyes were a delightful teal color, and after blinking at me, it turned to its egg and began consuming the remains greedily, just as I had once done with my cocoon. There was very little slime residue, leaving it to tear through and gulp down the husk of its egg; I could taste in the air that delicious “feeling” permeating through the papery shell, though it was rather light and vague. I might have desired a taste for myself, feeling the emptiness in my stomach, but I could only assume this consumption was a necessary or helpful part of the hatching process given my instinct to do about the same. Anyways, the taste had been so pure fresh from the source of a living creature, and this in comparison was stale.
Watching the little bugs first moments, both divided parts of me were endeared heavily; this was another creature of my species, a newborn I must protect, and finally some company for me in this new and strange world. I folded my legs under me to lay beside it, my core warmth with happiness and my mind running wild with thoughts. What had made us different in our creations, had I gone through this and just forgotten? Was this a human being as well, or could it be in the future? If it retained no human memories, might it know more about how we were supposed to act than I did? I wasn’t sure what to hope for, given the situation. In the end, at the current moment, you don't care what its true form is- all you see is a young one in need of protection and care, just like you are.
Once it had left no scraps of its emergence, it turned to me, curious eyes twinkling as it edged closer. I nodded my head to my side, communicating silently that it could come and cuddle up next to me. It curled up beside me, letting out little chirping sounds, apparently comfortable against my chitin and under my transparent wing. I honestly could not recall what gender I had been before this very moment and lacked the knowledge to accurately sex my new form, but I could only assume this was what maternal instinct felt like, looking down at this little plump beast, strange as it was, especially compared to any human child I had ever seen. I felt the impulse to interact, and though I was nervous and my mouth felt unfamiliar to my human mind, I could only experiment with speaking now.
“Hello,” I said waveringly, surprising myself with how my voice reverberated and quivered. The bug cooed and trilled in response, apparently primitive enough that it could not speak as I could just yet.
Realistically, this was a gross, weird alien bug, but I could feel nothing but joy towards it. Ambiently, I could smell traces of that delicious “feeling”, originating from where we both laid. It was curious but not unwelcome; I felt my stomach ever so slowly filling as the newborn murred against me, and I moved my front leg to lay atop the creature, pulling it ever closer, snuggled up against me. I spent a good few moments, eyes closed, allowing myself peaceful rest, sharing this calm moment with my new friend, or perhaps family member. Still, I could not do nothing but lay around all day. I had to pull myself out of this warmth eventually, letting my mind wander to new concerns.
Before, I was acutely aware that my survival was not ensured in this strange new land with me being so unfamiliar with the world and what could be safe or dangerous to me. Now I had to ensure the health of both myself and a newborn critter; regardless of how worth it it would certainly be, it would still be work and something I had to be aware of. I wondered how I would keep this little thing fed- it seemed whatever I had yanked out of that living creature kept me full, and I was unsure how I could share such a feast with the child now under my care. There was also the concern of shelter; at the current moment the weather was inoffensive, but if this new world had analogous seasons to Earth then that might readily change, not to mention there might be creatures I’d only been lucky to miss being hunted by.
As the sun once more began to set, I stood up suddenly, confusing the little creature beside me, moving towards where I had dug a small trench into the dirt. I set myself to digging deeper, figuring this was the best home I could craft on the spot. I had no conscious human experience in digging holes that would not collapse under me, but the large tree I had born off of seemed to stabilize the ground enough that I was not concerned for cave-ins, at least not quite yet. The grub curiously watched as I dug hooffuls of dirt out from under me, spraying debris behind me. I was reminded sourly of digging a grave just a few days ago, but tried to keep my mind off of that, and how I might need to do the same again if only to keep the new life that was my responsibility fed.
In moments my little divet in the ground had evolved into a burrow, a little room only large enough for me to stand in comfortably. I beckoned the grub to get comfortable in the hole with me once more, laying on my side now. It made itself comfortable against my belly, curled up and eyes closed, ready to sleep. I, too, had to let myself slumber, mostly to give myself a break from the swirling thoughts of happiness and concern that assaulted me. These could be problems for me in the future; for now, I was tired, and far too afraid and unsure to make any decisions quite yet.
