An Un-Fart-gettable Concert
Sheriff Hitch Trailblazer was currently licking his chops as he looked down at his lunch for the day. He had handcrafted an egg salad sandwich that looked absolutely delectable. "Mmm-mmm. Sheriff, you have outdone yourself on this one."
Lunchtime was definitely Hitch's favorite part of the day. It was one of the only times he didn't have any worries and got to enjoy a tasty meal. It also helped that lunchtime was Sparky's favorite part of the day as well. The baby dragon was sitting on Hitch's desk, happily munching on a piece of cake. It used to be a banana, but Sparky's fire breath changed that in an instant Hitch didn't mind; however, his dragon boy was happy and that made him happy. He simply lifted his egg sandwich with both hooves and gave it a deep sniff. This was going to be so tasty.
Suddenly, the door burst open with Izzy screaming for joy while Sunny followed behind her in an equally excited sprint. They made such a ruckus when they entered the Sheriff's office, that Hitch couldn’t help but let out a high-pitched squeal. Hitch was so busy panicking that he didn't notice Pipp also fly in.
“Hitch! You’ll never guess what we found!” Sunny said as she walked up to the Sheriff's deck. She was unfazed about nearly giving him a heart attack.
“Yep! We found an abandoned theater!” Izzy added while she was still bouncing.
“And we thought it would be just AMAZING, if we held a unity concert there for all of Pony-kind!” Pipp said in her usually cheery voice.
“Uh...yeah” Sunny added nervously. She wasn’t expecting the other mares to chime in on her sentence, but she couldn’t blame them for being excited. “So, we’d like to invite you and Sparky!”
“Wait, a concert?” Hitch asked. While the girls were talking, it had given him enough time to recover from their entrance. However, as fun as the concert, Hitch couldn't help but think about the worst case scenario. “But, what if it doesn’t go well?”
“Relax, Hitch. Pipp said as she brushed off his concerns. “None of you have to perform. I’ve done concerts like this a million times so I know it’ll be great!”
“No, I mean. What about putting so many different races of ponies under the same roof?” Hitch said. He began pacing around his desk as he voiced his concerns. He had also picked up his sandwich at some point and was eating it nervously. This was a bad habit he’d picked up since becoming a Dragon Dad. “We may have brought magic back to Equestria, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still some ponies out there that hate other races.”
“C’mon, Hitch. We’ve held concerts and special events before…” Sunny said, trying to calm her longtime friend down. She knew Hitch had a tendency to get carried away when protecting ponies. Unfortunately it was too late.
“Nope! That settles it.” Hitch announced as he posed triumphantly. He even made sure to take a bite of his sandwich for emphasis. “I will be the Gaurdpony for this event!”
“Hitch, I don’t think we really need a…” Pipp started to say before Sunny put a hoof on her shoulder to stop her. Regardless of how irrational it was, if Hitch was willing to help with the concert, then they might as well let him.
“I mean…that’s a great idea, Hitch.”
Thank You, ponies. I won’t let you down!” Hitch said. He was positively beaming.
With things settled, the other mares wished Hitch good luck before leaving the Sheriff's office. Hitch couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. He sat back down to enjoy his lunch, only to realize he’d eaten it all while pitching his concert idea. He was surprised until he looked over at Sparky, who cooe’d at him cutely. Just like that, Hitch was more ready than ever to make sure this was a concert no pony would ever forget.
A few hours later, Hitch and Sparky were standing just outside of the new Maretime Bay auditorium. The little baby dragon was strapped to the stallion's chest in a baby carrier, and they both were wearing reflective sunglasses. The orange-creme stallion was all business tonight; standing tall, stoic and not even allowing himself to leave this spot. That made it a little difficult to go to the bathroom but he was confident he'd be able to go now that all the crowd was almost inside. In fact, Hitch hadn’t taken a bathroom break since he was told about the concert. Hw was so busy, he ignored whenever his tummy would gurgle which had become more and more frequent. It was only until Hitch’s tummy jostled again as he watched the last ponies walk inside, that he realized something very important he'd forgotten before the show started.
"Oh no! This is not good at all!" Hitch ran around muttering to himself, causing his sunglasses to fall from his face. He then turned and ran straight through the backstage door in a panic. The stress was causing his tummy to rumble more, but Hitch couldn't worry about that right now. "Somepony! Anypony!"
"Hey there, Hitch. Where's the fire?" Zipp asked, confused as to why Hitch had stormed into the backstage area. They both ended up standing behind a curtain on the center stage.
"Oh, Zipp! Thank Hoofness. Quick, I need someone to take Sparky to the front row so he can see the show!" Hitch announced, puffing out his chest to emphasize the bundle of scales that was still attached to him.
"Wait. That's all?" Zip chuckled. Hitch could be just as overdramatic as her sister at times. "Why can't you take him? Or better yet, both of you could just watch the show back here."
"We can't do that. This is a momentous occasion and Sparky deserves to experience it in the best way possible." Hitch said as he unstrapped the dragon and set him down. Sparky then got up on Zipp’s back. "And, I need to stay back here in case somepony decides to sabotage the performance.”
“Uh-huh…” Zipp took a moment to look Hitch over. He was standing with his back legs close together, his barrel was moving like something was trapped in his tummy, and he looked to be sweating slightly. “ You sure you don’t need to stay back here so you can…blow off some steam?”
“Wh-What do you mean?” Hitch asked nervously.
“Looking at your body, I’d say…” Zipp said. She could never miss an opportunity to tease the Sheriff. “You gotta let one rip, don’t you?”
“Wait! No!” Hitch said, slightly offended. However, he could definitely feel something brewing deep in his gut.
“It's okay, Hitch. Everypony farts. Figured you would know that, with this little guy around.” Zipp turned her head toward Sparky, who giggled in response to her comment.
“I know, but…” Hitch started to say, but his nerves kept him from saying anything else.
“Just let it out, Hitch. You’ll feel better. Trust me.” Zipp said and she began trotting toward Hitch.
“I don’t need to.” Hitch said and he started backing up as Zipp tried to get close to him. However, his tummy kept gurgling as they kept talking.
“C’mon, Sheriff. I know you can do it.” Zipp said.
“Zipp. Please, just let me…” Hitch tried to change the subject but Zipp wouldn’t let it go.
“Not until you do it.” Zipp said.
‘But I don’t need to.” Hitch lied again.
“Yes you do.” Zipp said. Neither of them noticed that Hitch’s flank had parted the curtain then were still behind, and the whole audience could see his tail end moving toward the microphone.
“No I don’t!” Hitch said.
“Let it out.” Zipp said.
Just then, Hitch’s flank made contact with the microphone. He let out a cartoonish shriek, but that was soon drowned out by the tremendous fart that Hitch ripped at the same time.
*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT*
The sound of the fart was caught on the microphone and echoed throughout the building through the speakers, so the entire audience heard what just happened. Not only that, but the fart went on for so long that Hitch lifted a leg subconsciously to help the gas pass. On the other side of the curtain, Hitch’s face wore a look of shock as his wide eyes looked behind him. Zipp merely had a smirk on her face, while Sparky pinched his snout with a claw as he giggled. After an agonizingly long minute the fart finally tapered off. Hitche’s pupils were the only thing that moved on his body as he looked back at Zipp. She closed the distance between them.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Pipp to get a new mic before she goes out.” Zipp said, before moving her mouth next to Hitch’s ear so she could whisper into it. “That was kinda hot though.”
Hitch's face exploded into a blush as he watched Zipp walk away with Sparky. This was definitely a night neither of them would forget.