I can't fix you

by Hoofprintz

First published

Twilight descends into madness after a traumatic event.

When tragedy strikes Twilight she turns to the only place she can.

Requested by the winner of my first Fic Giveaway : milk rain

Heartache

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I stared into the snow globe resting on the table. It was a simple little thing, nothing within other than an igloo and little bits of glass to give viewers an impression of snow. So simple. So basic. Yet, I hadn't been able to take my tired eyes off of it for the last hour. I hadn't even been able to give the device a shake, its contents unmoving and lifeless. Familiar.

I hadn't been able to bring myself to touch it ever since that day. It was a gift from Dash. From my Rainbow. The one and only gift the rainbow colored pegasus had ever given me. It was all I had left of the mare I'd loved more than anypony else. The mare I still loved more than anypony else.

Cold nights like tonight were especially trying to my stability. Being a newly created and appointed alicorn princess, I was still growing accustomed to my new body. It'd only been a couple of months since everything had happened to me... and to her. First, my ascension. Then the assassination attempt. And then my Rainbow saving my life. And... then...

I wiped my eyes with a hoof. There was no way for me to say just how many times I'd repeated that particular gesture since I'd lost my love. At this point, it almost felt as natural as breathing.

The memories were still vivid. The wounds all too raw. Celestia had sworn to me she'd find the party responsible for Rainbow Dash's death. I just simply couldn't bring myself to care. Equestria had dozens if not hundreds of enemies. Finding the party responsible would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Besides, finding the culprit wouldn't bring my beloved back anyway.

But I can.

With much effort I was finally able to turn my attention back to the open spellbook on the table. I'd been studying it -- along with other questionable sources -- for the last few weeks, memorizing countless tomes cover to cover to ensure my plan was a success.

Shortly after the funeral I'd sequestered myself in my home in Ponyville. I only left the safety of the library for brief periods of time to check up on new sources. It was a subject I shouldn't have been looking into, but one I desperately needed to research. After a few days of completely isolating myself, the visits began.

First, my friends showed up at my doorstep. Though they'd been devastated by the loss of Rainbow Dash as well, they'd rallied and found strength in one another. I... hadn't joined them.

They did their best to pull me out of my despair. Tea with Fluttershy. Meals with Applejack. Dresses and the like with Rarity. Small parties thrown by Pinkie. None of it worked. One by one -- as they gradually came to the realization that I was hopeless -- the girls slowly stopped trying. Eventually, they stopped showing up all together.

Celestia -- knowing my friends had failed in their efforts -- tried next. Unfortunately for the diarch, the guilt she felt for failing me prevented her from making any substantial difference. Short of evil magic, there was nothing that could bring back my love and Celestia would never delve into such questionable practices, not even for her "most faithful student".

With no other hope, that's exactly where I was forced to turn. At first, my newfound research drew the ire of Spike, who'd threatened to notify the princess of my unacceptable actions as soon as he was made privy to them. Despite his best efforts, I refused to quit and continued to press on. Once I started to conduct the experiments, he gave me an ultimatum. In the end, even my best friend chose to abandon me, deciding instead to return to Canterlot Castle, though I'm still not sure if he'd ever told the princess.

Eventually, the citizens of Ponyville began to treat the library as if it were cursed, me like I were a pariah. None of that mattered to me anyway. Only one thing, one pony, could bring the light back into my life, and I'd do anything to bring her back.

I just need to be certain the body can hold out...

The soul was the easy part. For an alicorn like me, bringing back the very essence of a pony was foal's play. Finding something that would last to put the soul inside of... THAT was gonna be the difficult part.

If only she hadn't...

I was exhausted, rubbing my face with a hoof, the memories too painful to take without sobbing. There had been no body left after the fact. The explosion was strong enough to incinerate Rainbow's entire home... and disintegrate the only mare left trapped inside of it.

Shifting my focus, I lifted the steaming hot cup of coffee to my lips. I'd lost track of time again, although time hadn't been a big concern of mine for weeks now. My new alicorn physiology was the only thing keeping me going. If I were still a mere unicorn, I'd have succumbed to hunger or sleep days, if not weeks, ago, but my new empowered form made things much easier for me. Still, a strong cup of joe had an elevated effect on me, so I'd started drinking them more often.

Doesn't matter if I'm tired. I've waited long enough. Tonight's the night...

I turned around, staring at the sigil I'd meticulously drawn on the floor of my living room. Normally, such a complicated spell would require some sort of sacrifice. Ironically enough, the very event that had been the catalyst for losing Dash was also the sole reason I had the magical capacity to bring her back without having to make any of said sacrifices.

This should be enough to start.

I carefully moved the small lamp with my telekinesis, placing it carefully in the direct center of the sigil. The longer I waited to take action, the more difficult it would be to draw my love's spirit back home. The enchanted lantern should ensure things didn't become too complicated, no matter what I tried to do. Heavy emphasis on should.

As long as I have her soul, I can keep trying over and over, anyway.

My horn burned bright with power as I lowered my head toward the floor. As soon as the tip of the spire made contact with the ground the sigil ignited sending small flickering specks of dark mana into the air. I concentrated, trying my best to recall all of the good memories I'd shared with my marefriend.

Reading a Daring Do book under the stars, that summer night the perfect temperature to cuddle under a blanket. Falling asleep holding each other so very close.

Flying high in the sky through Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash giggling like a little school-filly every time I nearly crashed into something. The endless kindness and patience the pegasus showed me despite my lack of experience.

An ice cream eaten together on a cold winter day. The cool touch of Dash's lips against my own. The warmth of the pegasus' body pressing against mine in front of the fireplace.

The more vivid the memories, the easier it would be to bring her soul back to me. And so it was. A small rainbow colored flame burst to life inside the lantern, illuminating the room as the evil magic was suddenly forced to seek a hiding place. The light was intense, an indicator of just how strong a spirit my lovely pegasus possessed.

I couldn't help but smile at the treasure, wanting nothing more than to embrace it, but knowing how silly that would be. Instead, I lifted the lantern and moved it to carefully rest beside myself. The next step was just as important as the previous, if not moreso. Reacquiring her soul was of the utmost importance, but a soul alone was essentially a personality trapped in limbo if it had no vessel to contain and express it. That was a truly hellish existence and so, I worked all the faster.

I laid the plush doll in the center of the sigil. I'd sewn it together myself, a rough little thing. It wasn't at the complex level of work of somepony like Rarity, but it didn't really need to be that good of quality. My transfiguration spell would see to the functionality, but the materials used would determine just how long the new body would be able to last.

At least, that's what I'm assuming...

I flared my mana, linking my own reserves with the markings on the floor and in turn, the doll laying atop them. In a split second a flash of magical light transmuted fabric into flesh and bone. It was her, or at least it was a body that perfectly resembled her. I tempered my emotions, forcing myself not to rush forward and hug the lifeless husk.

Instead, I used a spell to open the lantern, ever so slowly drawing her soul out with telekinesis and moving it toward the shell. With no resistance whatsoever the husk accepted the spirit, bristling slightly. With one final surge of my mana I infused the body with enough energy to last for months, if not years.

My breathing was ragged all of a sudden, the amount of magic expelled from my body taxing. It... Rainbow Dash's eyes flitted open, the pegasus surveying her surroundings before looking directly at me. My heart nearly came to a stop, her soft magenta eyes sparkling with life.

"Hey, Twilight!" her voice was just as I remembered. "What's... up?"

In spite of my best efforts, I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"So I was thinking maybe we could go hang out with the girls today." I tried to sound and look as upbeat as possible, though it didn't seem to make a difference how enthusiastic I was. For some reason, Twilight had been really down the last couple of days and I couldn't understand why. Whenever she looked at me she seemed so... sad.

It'd gotten so bad that I'd promised her I'd stay by her side no matter what. At the time, I didn't know she'd meant I wouldn't get to leave her home ever again. I'm pretty sure she was leaving when I was asleep to get food and other necessities, but I didn't really want to confront her about it. If she was already this bad, I could only imagine how much worse she could get.

She's always been like that.

With how badly her face twisted up when I'd made my suggestion, I'd say she could get a whole lot worse. Much, much worse. As far back as I could remember she'd been preparing our meals and now we were eating breakfast together, just like we had every day for the past week.

"Actually... I just got the new Daring Do book." The smile that came to her face was crooked, unnatural. Knowing just how fake it was made me want to vomit. "I was hoping maybe we could... start it today?"

"That's cool and all, but..." Normally, I'd never pass up the opportunity to read the new Daring Do novel, but there was one thing I'd choose over my favorite books any day of the week. "Twilight... I really wanna see the girls... Spike too. Shouldn't he be back by now?"

She'd told me he was in Canterlot at the Princess' request, but that was days ago. Unless Celestia was keeping the dragon there for some weird reason, he should've already come back home. Heck, I should've already gone back home. If I didn't soon, I was almost surely gonna get fired from the weather team.

"He'll be back..." she said, cryptically, not meeting my gaze. "soon."

...

"Even so, I can't stay couped up here forever. Gotta stretch my wings, y'know?" As I moved to do so, Twilight's face contorted into an even uglier face.

"R-Rainbow! Your... wing..." she reached out with a hoof.

"Huh? What's wrong with my..." As I turned to look at my withers I heard her horn begin to power up, "I-It's w-wilthering..." I said in disbelief. It was the last thing I remember before darkness completely overtook me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Watching my marefriend fall to pieces... turn to dust right in front of me... The first time it was heartbreaking. The second, it was painful. The third... was infuriating. Her body was failing. Time and time again no matter what I tried, no matter what I used as a base, it would crumble to dust a few days later.

Inorganic material wasn't doing the job. I dreaded what that meant, but I wouldn't let it end like that. I wouldn't let her leave me like that. Not after I'd come this far.

And so, I found myself alone in a cemetery at midnight, digging up a fresh grave like a madmare, all by lonesome.

If only Celestia could see me now...

I was caked in mud, the scheduled downpour not helping my situation at all, but the knowledge that my beloved should've been the one to perform that particular task driving me even harder to do what had to be done.

Ponies in Equestria didn't die often. Not at a young age, at least. Celestia had seen to that. I'd known finding a suitable... body would be difficult. It had to have been recently breathing. It had to be flesh and blood. It had to be a pony. Nothing else would do. Fortunately, I'd gotten incredibly lucky.

I refused to even glance at the gravestone. All I knew was that the mare had had an accident and was around the same age as my Rainbow. Her body would have to do.

It will do.

As I pried open the coffin and came face to face with the deceased pegasus, I was struck with an intense feeling of melancholy. She looked so peaceful.

Are you really going to do this, Twilight?

...

It wasn't even a question I had to ask myself. I'd not even gotten the chance to see her after.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Something wasn't right. Twilight wouldn't let me leave her room. I stared sadly at the boarded up window before me. She'd said something bad had happened in Equestria, a problem her and the other princess' were trying to solve.

I trusted her. How could I not? I love her. But after several weeks of waiting for... anything to happen, I'm not so sure I believed her anymore. Problem is, I couldn't remember... well, anything too far back.

I could recall being in Twilight's room and... not much else. Everything prior to that was all hazy and cloudy, like something was preventing me from remembering. The only thing I could think of that might be able to explain it was magic... but Twilight would never do anything like that to me.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. She looked terrible. Whatever problem she was trying to deal with was clearly taking a heavy toll on her.

"I'm..." I wasn't sure what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't know if I should. Either way was a gamble, but there was one thing I knew for sure. I couldn't stay locked up in this room forever, no matter what might've happened to the outside world. "I need to get out of here Twilight," I placed a hoof against the wooden boards. "You know I can't stay trapped in here forever... right?"

"R-Rainbow..." She refused to look at me, her bloodshot eyes scrambling for anything else to focus on but me. "Things are still really bad. I'm not sur-"

"Twi," I cut her off, causing her to go rigid. "I CAN'T stay here," I tried not to sound too firm, but I had to be. I laid a hoof on the planks. "You know me."

...

"Can't you just..." her voice was trembling, as if my desire for freedom was the most dangerous thing in Equestria to her. She walked up behind me, resting her throat on the back of my neck. "Can't you just be happy... here with me?"

I wanted to be. I really wanted to be. I wanted to be everything for her. I wanted to make her happy. I loved her...

But...

But I was still me. I had to be honest with her. "No," I turned to face her. "I can't, Twilight." I hugged her tightly. She stayed still, unmoving. Her wings twitched, but that was about it. "I'm sorry."

She sighed.

"I can't believe I'm still having these issues..." she whispered, forcing me to draw back and look at her.

"I-issues?" I tried to dip my head to see her face, but she kept her head low. "What is that supposed to mean, Twi? You know I'll help you with anything I..."

My heart stopped. As she lifted her head the crazed look on her face was even more disturbing than that time she'd freaked out cause she thought Celestia was gonna send her back to magic kindergarten.

"I just have to start over again," she looked at me, her smile growing wider. It wasn't joy. There wasn't any happiness there. It was all just... insanity. She wasn't even looking at me, her eyes instead looking past me. "I'll just have to blot out more of the memories this time."

"Twi... what are you saying?" I asked.

She can't be talking about me... about my memories... can she?

As soon as her gaze locked onto me I knew that was exactly what she was referring to. I bristled.

"It's okay, Dash. I'll fix things. I promise. I'll fix you. Next time you won't even remember what outside is," she was shaking, her eyes boring into mine.

For the first time in... ever, she was scaring me.

"T-Twi... what are you saying?" I was beyond confused, my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. She got even closer, her mouth opening slightly.

"I messed up again, but I swear, I'll get it right this time," her horn slowly began to shimmer as she placed her hooves on my shoulders. She was trembling, her eyes searching mine. "You just have to... go away for a little while."

"Wh-what!?" I couldn't move, could barely even think, staring wide-eyed at my love as she glared down at my crouching form.

"Don't worry, my love," her horn grew so bright I couldn't look up at her any longer. "I promise..." The hum grew unbearably loud. "You won't feel a thing."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Princess Twilight,

It is with the utmost excitement and trepidation that I write to inform you of our success in locating the fiends who orchestrated the attack on you and your beloved all those months ago. Please forgive the unreasonable amount of time it took for us to accomplish said venture, as I'm certain you know, these things take time. The trial will be held in three days time. Twilight... my most faithful student... I want you to attend. Luna is worried for you... as am I. I know things have been difficult since you lost... so very much, but I want you to be there. You must witness first-hoof that justice will prevail. I anxiously await your response.

-Princess Celestia

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Celestia,

Regretfully, I cannot attend. Thank you for considering me, but I assure you, all is well.

-Twilight

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Guess she didn't like the prompt reply.

The Princess of the Sun sat before me, staring directly at me as if her gaze might be able to look past a veil that surrounded me. There was no veil. I wasn't hiding anything.

Thankfully, her visit coincided with a preparation phase, so I had nothing to hide. I'd been pleasant. I'd even made her some tea. She wasn't saying much, though. Oddly enough, she'd not said a word since arriving. My meager efforts to make things a bit more comfy didn't seem to be working.

"Soooo... how are you?" I asked politely, if not a little too matter-of-factly, eliciting a bamboozled expression from the diarch.

"So it's to be a game then?" she asked bluntly.

"A game?" I tilted my head quizzically.

"Surely you can't be this... chipper," she sighed, looking away. "I've spoken with the others. They're worried about your well-being, Princess." When I said nothing in response, she decided to continue. "I'm worried about your well-being, Princess... You may be able to hide your true feelings from most of us, even me, but... not from my sister." She didn't have to say anything more. I knew exactly what she was referring to.

"They're just dreams, Celestia. Nothing more," I declared firmly.

"Perhaps..." she stared out the window at her sunny day, her expression unreadable. She didn't speak for what felt like an eternity, her eyes focused and unchanging. For my part, I chose to keep a smile plastered on my face, waiting patiently for her to work through whatever it was that was troubling her.

I'm not the one who went to visit her.

...

"Never in a thousand years did I think you'd grow so distant from me, my most faithful student." When she finally spoke her words were like ice cold water tossed all over me. I made the decision to respond in turn.

"That's funny, Celestia," I took a sip of my tea, drawing her gaze. "Never in a thousand years did I think somepony like you would fail to protect me and my friends so spectacularly."

The deviation that came to her face was barely perceptible, but it was there. Having spent so much time around her, I had no issue seeing the change. My lash hit home, the sadness permeating her thick. She stood to her hooves, walking slowly to the door. She paused, her hoof resting on the doorknob.

"I'm sorry, Twilight," she refused to look my way. "I did my best."

"Your best wasn't good enough," I stated tersely.

Without another word, without even turning to face her failures... she left me alone.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"I love you, Twi."

"I love you too, Rainbow."

How many had it been at this point? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? I'd lost count months ago. It'd been so long since I'd began this whole venture that I couldn't recall which attempt at a perfect copy of Rainbow Dash was sitting before me at our dining table.

It doesn't really matter.

I'd done it. With a sufficient amount of her memories removed, she'd never want to leave me again. And since I'd taken the plunge and used a-

*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*

"Who could that be?" I glanced at the door. It was far too early for Derpy to be delivering my mail, and we hadn't had a visitor since Celestia had come to check up on me all those months ago.

Rainbow sat next to me, a smile on her face as she stared at me. She wouldn't move to try and get the door. She wouldn't even think of doing such a thing. I'd constructed a complex network of limiting spells, both in her mind and around our home. With all the precautions I'd taken, nothing could possibly go wrong.

Everything is perfect.

"I'll get it, you stay here," I smiled back at my marefriend as I got up to answer the door.

"Okay! Don't keep me waiting too long!" she lifted an enthusiastic hoof.

I couldn't help but count my blessings as I reached the door. I'd gotten her back, even if I'd given up everything and everypony else... it had all been worth it.

"Yes, what can I do for-" my blood ran cold as I opened the door.

C-CRAP!

"S-Scootaloo!?" I managed to choke out. The orange filly was staring at the ground, looking completely dejected. We hadn't spoken a single time since Dash had passed. I'd completely forgotten about her.

"Hey, Twilight," she didn't even look up. "I'm really sorry to bother you, I just... I... I..." she lifted her glistening eyes to look at me. The sobs that rocked her body were loud...

Too loud!

I spun around, my panicked expression only exacerbated when I saw my Rainbow standing in the doorway to our dining room.

"T-Twi..." she looked absolutely horrified, her eyes wide with terror.

"R-Rainbow?" the cracking voice that came from behind me made me nauseous.

N-no.

"NO!" I whirled back around working my spell instantly. In a flash of magenta light the filly was swept away from my porch. My breathing was ragged as I stared at the spot where the young pegasus had just been standing.

"Twilight..." her voice froze me in place. "That was Scoots..." She wasn't angry. She was afraid. "And you just..." she lifted a hoof to her head, as if she'd just developed a migraine and she couldn't handle the pain.

She's scared... of me.

"I SENT HER HOME!" I slammed the door and rushed to her side, laying a hoof on her withers. "I used a sleeping spell and teleported her back home, Rainbow. I swear!" It really was what I'd done. At best, the little pegasus would think she had a really nice dream.

At worse...

She'd probably come back and ask questions. Scootaloo was somepony I hadn't considered when making my alterations to my love's memories. I don't really know why. They'd always been really close.

Hearing her cries must've jogged something in her mind... but how much?

"She'll be fine, Dash," I rubbed her back.

"I... AGH!" she shoved me back, both of her hooves now on her head.

"RAINBOW!?"

"TWI I..." she was trembling, her eyes squeezed tightly closed.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just start over this time, but everything I'd built was quickly falling apart right in front of my face.

Not after I used-

"Y-you..." Her eyes were suddenly locked on me, a look of utter disgust on her face.

"R-Rain... bow?" I felt sick. Before I could even formulate a thought she was gone, flying by me so fast I could only see fading rays of rainbow light.

There was only one place I would guess she would go. I teleported there immediately.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I blasted through Ponyville in an instant, my destination on the outskirts of town. These particular memories weren't mine. The stallion was somepony I'd never seen before, yet my heart cried out for him. Nothing mattered more than seeing him at the moment... not even Twi.

Not even that she might've...

I shook my head.

No. She wouldn't.

I came to a stop as quickly as I started. Close to his... to our home, but not too close. I couldn't move any closer, my heart exploding in my chest. He was inside, I could feel it, but I was too afraid. He wouldn't recognize me.

Not like this.

I sat on my rump, unable to do anything else.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As soon as I reappeared I casted my already prepped spells. A sound dampening spell to muffle our impending conversation. A reality bending spell to conceal us from any prying eyes. A destructive spell that I really didn't want to use, but...

My love was sitting on her haunches, staring at the small home situated far on the outskirts of Ponyville. I took a quiet seat next to her, but made sure not to get too close. I didn't say a word, my heart pounding.

...

"What do you remember?" I had to ask. I didn't really want to know, but it was critical information so I knew how to move forward.

"I..." she let out the breath she'd been holding. "I remember everything and some things I shouldn't."

...

"Just..." she finally spoke again, though she continued to face forward. "Just tell me I'm wrong..." she sighed. "You didn't use... you would never..."

I lowered my head.

"Twi... you wouldn't. R-right?" she turned her head to look at me, but I kept mine down. "Please? Please tell me these memories aren't..."

...

"I had to, Dash. I had no choice,"

"You ALWAYS have a choice, Twi!" she shouted. "I'm not even supposed to be here anymore and you-"

"YES... you are," I had to fight to keep my composure. I wouldn't get mad at her.

I couldn't.

Her demeanor slowly crumbled, her body slumping downwards. She raised a hoof toward the house. "And them?" I bristled, my eyes widening involuntarily. "What about them?"

...

I had considered it...

But...

"I don't care."

"What!?" she grabbed my shoulders roughly. I kept my bored gaze off of her, not interested in such a conversation. "Look at me, Twilight!"

I locked eyes with her, the fury I found exactly what I'd expected to.

"You're important to me..." I laid a hoof on her cheek. "Not some random mare I don't even know."

Her eyes widened, jaw going slack. She slapped away my foreleg, her expression now making her prior look of disgust seem kind in comparison.

"Rainb-"

"This isn't you," she declared with a disbelieving shake of her head. "The mare I fell in love with would NEVER do something like this!" Again, she pointed at the house.

"Don't you see, Rainbow?" I took a deep, calming breath. "The mare you fell in love with WAS TOO PATHETIC TO KEEP YOU SAFE!" I bellowed, feeling my self-control slipping away. She simply winced. "SHE lost you because SHE was an IDIOT!"

"T-Twilight?" she scooted away from me, fear overtaking her. I don't know why, but I could feel myself grinning.

"Don't be afraid, my lovely Rainbow," I inched closer to her. "I can keep you safe," I energized my horn. "I WILL keep you safe."

"Please, Twi," tears began to fill her eyes. "You have to remember too." In spite of her terrified expression, she threw her forelegs around me. "You have to come back to me! The real you! I love you!"

I couldn't budge, my smile fading. I grabbed her forelegs, slowly lowering them as she continued to bawl.

"I can't go back anymore, Dash," I leaned my forehead against hers. "I can't lose you."

"You have to let me go, Twi," she sniffled. "I was really happy, giving my life to save you. I'd gladly do it for you again in a heartbeat," she looked up at me, a pitiful smile coming to her lips, but not her eyes.

"I... I know, Dash." My heart hurt so badly I nearly collapsed. This was her. She was perfect. It was my Dashie.

And that's why...

"That's why I have to do this," I placed the tip of my horn against her forehead.

"T-Twi?"

"I love you, Dash..."

I'll always love you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*

Again?

"Ugh."

I stood to my hooves, leaving my bedroom and walking to the front door of my home.

"Who is it?" I asked, choosing not to open it. I wouldn't make a mistake like that ever again.

"It's uhm... me, Twilight." The familiar voice said meekly from the other side of the door. "It's S-Scoota-"

"I know who you are, Scootaloo," I opened the door, looking down at the filly. "What's up?" I attempted to sound cordial. Pretty sure it didn't work though.

"I..." she kept her gaze down. "I wanted to talk with you."

...

"After all this time?" I questioned, not really because I cared for an answer, I was just trying to postpone. Visitors were still dangerous. If anypony found out what I'd done I'd probably... surely get a lengthy dungeon stay.

Or worse...

"Yeah... sorry," she sighed, looking up at me. "It's just... I'm still really sad too, y'know. Rainbow Dash was... was..."

I grabbed her, pulling her into a tight hug. The last time she'd started crying I'd lost everything. I didn't need another debacle like that to occur.

"You loved her too... didn't you, Scootaloo," I patted her mane.

"I did," she sniffled. "She was my big sister," she hugged me back.

...

"Can I show you something, Scootaloo?" I asked, lifting her face with a hoof to look at me.

"Of course, Twilight," she smiled brightly. "I was hoping we could talk, too. I had a really weird dream last week I wanted to tell you about."

"Sure," I chuckled, placing a hoof on her back and guiding her inside. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

As the young filly and I walked to my dining room together the nagging thoughts began anew.

You know she'd be perfect... She was close to your Rainbow, too. Another sacrifice won't be too-

I shook my head, forcing the intrusive thoughts out. It was over. There were no more tries. Rainbow wouldn't allow it anyway. She'd fight hoof and nail for her freedom. She'd always been like that.

"Can you give me a second? I need to go get it," I smiled.

"Okay!" She nodded enthusiastically as she took a seat at the dining room table. I headed back to my room, a glowing smile on my own face.

As soon as I entered my room I grabbed my treasure without hesitation, covering it with a small blanket. I'd been cuddling it before I was interrupted, much like I had every day for the last week. Much like I would for the foreseeable future.

As I hurried back to Scootaloo, a spring in my step, I began to cast my spell, closing all of the curtains in my home and extinguishing all the lights.

"T-Twilight?" Scootaloo nervously called out, a slight tinge of terror emanating from her voice.

"Everything's okay, Scootaloo," I answered her, entering the dining room once again. "Trust me."

"O-okay..." she replied meekly. "I'm not scared or anything, I just... don't really like the dark."

"Don't worry," I placed my treasure on the table before her and took a seat as well. "You're going to love this." As soon as I lifted the covering from the lantern and the myriad of lights shined throughout the room she gasped in awe. Her eyes shimmered as she stared into the rainbow hued flame, the look of wonder on her face exactly what I'd expected. "This is my most precious treasure, Scootaloo," I declared proudly.

"It's... it's beautiful, Twilight," she managed to get out, though she was clearly still blown away. "It almost looks like..." she shook her head, wiping a tear away. "Did you... did you make it?"

A crooked smile came to my lips. "You could say that," I too stared in love at the container. "Whenever I have a bad... whenever I miss Rainbow Dash, I spend some time with this lantern," I placed a hoof gently on the glass, a tear slipping down my cheek. "It really helps."

"Can... can I...?" Scootaloo took her eyes off the light for the first time since seeing it, a hopeful visage on her face. I nodded weakly. She reached out touching the lamp, more tears falling down her face.

"If you ever feel sad or lonely..." I wiped my tear away. "You can come spend time with me and my treasure. We'll always be here. Together."

"Th... Thank you, Twilight." The young pegasus began to weep.

And we always were.