> Last Stop on the Mail Route
>  by scrungusbungus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1 - Strabismus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Strabismus?" 

"Yes." Nurse Redheart affirms, glancing up from an overstuffed clipboard; her desk, similarly, was covered in paperwork regarding the local residents. She herself, with her near-white fur and light red mane tucked under her nurses cap, was pretty cute; though cute was a good word for most of the denizens of this place. Maybe it was my soft spot for no-nonsense women. Her office was pretty quaint, but familiar after these last few months.

While Ponyville wasn't a particularly large place, something seemed to happen every other week around here, keeping the local hospital pretty busy. I had a feeling the Mare in questions stack of paperwork must be abnormally large.

Redheart clears her throat, drawing my attention back from my nosy browsing of her desk, lightly smacking my outstretched hand.

"Patient confidentiality, please, Mister Muss..." She pauses, flipping through the clipboard with a hoof. I still had no idea how they did that, things folded in a way I knew the horses back 'home' couldn't.

I'm quick to give her a sheepish grin, but its just as quickly met with a raised eyebrow. A pang of guilt hits me, and I quickly hide my smile--though with the chunk of my left cheek missing, that doesn't really do much.

"Sorry, I forget that--" I start, but find myself interrupted as she raises a hoof.

"You don't need to hide your Teeth, Mister Muss. As we've discussed with Twilight, exposure is the best method; Ponyville is resilient, and they'll grow used to it. Its a mixture of Small-Town mindset clashing with constant foreign change. They'd probably get over you quicker if we had any Griffin residents, but..." She trails off, lifting one of the papers on the edge of her desk. "...Gilda, one of Rainbow Dashes friends, wasn't terribly keen on setting up somewhere rural. Honestly, if anything, its your height -- but watching you hit your head on enough doorframes is helping with that."

Or maybe you had a thing for women with some cheek... a snort escapes me as I lean back.

"I'm still not wearing the helmet, but the headache medicine helps plenty." I say, sinking back into the chair. Redheart makes a similar noise, starting to tuck the results of my tests away into one of the drawers. I'd come in for my Monthly, as was decided by Twilight and Celestia for my long-term health. Being a 'Non-Magical' being in a world where Magic was a part of every facet didn't bode well for my personal health, but so far, I was all above board.

"So... not Ditzy, its... Derpy, right?" I prod after a few quiet moments, trying to bring our previous conversation back to light. I swear I could see a pang of pity hit her face as I mention the names again.

"Yes, it's Derpy. And Dinky is the name of her daughter." Redheart affirms, finally jamming the latest of my results away, sitting back in her chair with a heavy creak. "Why do you ask? Should I be expecting her in a few hours?"

The question surprises me.
"I don't think so? Does she... get hurt a lot?"

"Constantly. She's remarkably sturdy, but that doesn't help the condition of whatever she impacts with. Poor thing usually shows up followed by the owner of whatever she ran into, swearing and..." She trails off, before realizing she might be letting a little too much slip. She clears her throat, looking back at me.
"I apologize for her if--" 

"Woah, hey, no." I cut her off, raising my hands. "No complaints, just neighborly concern after she came tumbling in through my window to deliver me something."

Redheart sighs, likely in relief.
"She's a sweet mare, and absolutely dotes on her daughter. I don't know how she does it, keeping that smile up." She relents, before growing curious. "What did you do to start getting packages?"

"Oh, they're from Tia--erh, Celestia. Princess Cele--how formal am I supposed to be when I'm just talking about her?" I ask, still confused. She was a borderline, if not actual, Goddess ruling a nation, yet treated me like a childhood friend every time I swung by with Twilight.

Redheart just stares at me with an incredulous look, before slumping her head into a hoof, leaning on it.
"Anon, if you're on a nickname basis with the Princesses, it really doesn't matter at this point. Just remember politeness."

"...Right. But uh, yeah. We send each other letters, and she sends me stuff she thinks I might like, checking in on me. I asked about Derpy because she came flying in through my window, crashing on my couch. Apparently she's very... concerned, when you don't have a Mailbox." I continue, explaining my morning. Still had to get one built, though home repairs took priority.

"She has an upstanding record within the Mailmares, despite her accidents. Ensuring the package is safely received is borderline a fault of hers at this point. Though, she hadn't met you yet, right?" Redheart asks.

"Nope." I return bluntly.

"And how did that...?" Redheart prods, already somewhat aware of my answer.

"Scared the absolute shit of her, seeing me standing there in my boxers. Brushing my teeth too, so..." I start to mumble, her wide-crossed-eye stare of terror still fresh in my mind. I can hear Nurse Redheart suck air in through her teeth. Thankfully, Nurse Redheart was pretty familiar with my foreign clothing habits, so she understood the awkwardness of the situation from both angles.
"Yeah, scrambled right back out the window like a spooked cat, took out half my living room with her. Bunch of her packages spilled everywhere, too. Took me a few minutes to clean up."

Redheart sighs, a sympathetic, if sad expression taking her face.
"Derpy...really, truly means well. I hope she didn't... we can talk to Twilight, see if we can swing some Bits your way to replace what was damaged..." She says, like this isn't the first time she's had to broach the topic.

"What? Oh, no, its fine. Just... chairs and the couch got tipped, thats all. I stacked up all her packages and left them by the door outside, before I went to work." I say, not entirely telling the truth of just how much damage she caused. Didn't need to throw someone who'd been given a bad hand any further under the bus.

Redheart sighs in relief, looking at me with... wow, she broke the bossy Nurse face. That's an actual smile. Its been a while since one of the locals gave you one of those. Makes you want to ask her if she's down for a coffee.

"Thank you, Anon. She really does mean well." She says, softer than usual.

"Yeah, I figure if she's got a kid... foal... filly?" 
Redheart nods at the last one. Right, Filly. I continue,
"She's probably got enough on her plate that's not recouping damages and lost packages. Whose the dad, by the way? I don't think I've seen her with anyone... or not working, for that matter."

Nurse Redhearts silence tells me all I need to hear, and I clear my throat, quick to move along. Single mothers were in no short supply where I was from. It was oddly humanizing, even in this land of colorful pastel butt-pictured magic ponies, they still had human problems.
"Uh... you said she has... Strabismus, right? What is that?" I ask instead, trying to avoid floating the awkward topic.

"Oh, right." She nods, returning to her more recognizable, friendly-but-cold demeanor. "It's a condition that surfaced when she was a Filly. The eyes cross, affecting vision, balance, depth of field... Derpy specifically suffers from a severe case, a mix of Hypo and Hypertopia. Typically, only one of the eyes is affected, and turns to face one direction more than the others... in her case, one eye suffers Hypotopia, the other Hypertopia. One looks up, one looks down. Our usual treatment, which is specialized glasses... don't really work, because they don't... well, survive."

"Fuck. She's got it rough, huh?" I mutter. 

"She toughs it out. Honestly, I'd argue she's even tougher than the Elements, the way she keeps it together for Dinky. I only told you this because of the interaction you had with her this morning, and because of your willingness to empathize. I don't want to hear from Berry Punch in a few days that I'm slipping patients info." Nurse Redheart warns, pointing a hoof at me.

"Consider my lips stapled shut. Thanks, Nurse Redheart." I relent, mock-raising my hands in surrender. Appeased, Nurse Redheart scoots from her chair, hooves clacking on the floor as she walks around the desk.

"Well, other than that, Mister Muss, final question. About... what we talked about, last visit. Still feel the same?" She asks, looking up at me. Even when I'm sat, I towered over all but Tia, with their eyes typically level with my waist.

I purse my lips, glancing away.
"Yeah, uh... I'm good. Take care of 'things' myself. Not really looking, you know. If something happens, I'll... feel it out, I guess. Unless you're asking me to a coffee later?" I grimace, but fold to a playful side-eye. The awkward topic of how I was handling being surrounded by another species, after coming from a Mono-Species planet. I'd overcame the weirdness of things after a few months, especially thanks to that one time I caught Nurse Redheart smoking behind the Hospital... that helped humanize these paint-bucket ponies a fair amount. But there was also the layer of sexual needs, and the decision that, after learning that Humans don't go through Heat, and are just... always down, they found it prudent to talk to me about taking 'Care of Myself' and 'to let them know if I got into anything with anypony'. 

She snorts. "Much too busy. Either you find a Mare that isn't already married to her job, or find a day we don't have the Elements swooping in to counteract some weekly disaster, and I'll take you out for one. Good to hear you're managing, though." 

I stand, following her towards the door of the Office, which she opens for me.
"It was good to see you, Mister Muss. Next Month?" She asks, like I really had much of a choice in it.

"Yeah, sure thing. Have a good one, Miss Red--" I go to wave, but Nurse Redheart cuts me off.

"Derpy is... I think you two might get along. If you give her the chance." She says suddenly, not making eye contact.

I'm silent for a few moments. Man. She really, really cares. A part of me cringes wondering just how many other Ponies around here don't, if she's so unsubtly trying to push a friendship.
"...If she comes flying in through my window again, I'll make sure there's a cushion there or something." I relent, which gets another one of those rare, honest Redheart smiles.

"Thank you, Anon."
I wave, tucking my hands into my jacket pockets as I hit my head on the doorframe.
> Chapter 2 - Sensing a Pattern
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a nice little place. Distant, near the edge of town. I got it fairly cheap, thanks to a couple things. 

Firstly, as favor from Tia that came in the form of a loan from the crown. Something about a 'newly minted fund to help the dimensionally displaced', though I'm were pretty sure she was just being nice. She seemed to enjoy having a new, candid penpal though, and an opinion on Ponyvilles usual shenanigans that wasn't from Twilights... particular view. I didn't interact with Luna as much, but she took an interest in my limp in one of the few times I spoke with her while in Canterlot. Apparently prosthetics aren't all that common in Equestria, go figure; though she took significant interest in my past, considering her more militant views. I like to include little P.S sections at the end of my letters to Tia for Luna. 

Secondly, my home was smack on top of a hill that was minutes from the Everfree Forest. For the Ponies, that put this place on the C list of properties. Personally, I kind of liked that it wasn't controlled by weather-trained pegasi or the like. Like a lethal splash of home. Fortunately for me, I've picked up a few books from Twilight about the place, and been introduced to the one local that was brave enough to live in it. Amusingly, for a similar reason that I chose to live on the edge of town. Twilight doesn't like to talk about it to much, but AJ filled me in on how all that played out. Seems this place had a habit of shunning oddities. 

It wasn't terribly big, with the kitchen and the living room sharing one space, a single bathroom and a single bedroom, but it was sturdy, insulated, and all mine. Part of why I enjoy it so much is because, outside of the Ponies I deal with on the regular... most haven't really taken to me. They're fairly cordial, but whispers still get around, and I can feel their eyes. I'm like a prolonged weekly event that hasn't quite gotten finished up yet, like they're waiting for Twilight to find an excuse to get me locked up in stone or blasted away, so things can go back to normal. Yeesh.

The only remaining problem was work. Twilight originally offered to keep housing me at her Library, which included working as her assistant or something. She already has Spike, though, and I'm not terribly interested in rooming with people again. Considering I moved out, that deal went with it. AJ offered me work, but... tossing my leg at her helped get the idea that I wasn't built for 12+ hours in the field. Not anymore, at least. And with most Ponies around here being dicey about hiring me, I'd rather just do what I always did.
I actually considered applying to Rarity's boutique, to learn sewing and shit, considering I'm one of like... two things here that have hands. Still hadn't decided on that yet. Not applying to the spa, though. Something about that felt... dirty.

My eyes float to the corner of my house, set beside the fireplace, dedicated to the items that got yanked along with me when Twilight biffed her experiment. Raised in a rural American household that bled soldiers, after my tours, I had a penchant for spending my time in the woods, alone. When whatever happened to me did happen, it was during one of my Hunting trips. Rarity was able to style a few more choices of clothing for me based on what I arrived in, though she didn't like my deviation from style, aiming for comfort and durability. Still have that one suit she made me take, though. Doubt it would get any use. Mostly, the pile was the stuff I didn't need at every moment, like my binoculars, survival gear, backpack, tent, so on.

I kept my hunting knife strapped to my leg for comfort. I'd be more comfortable carrying my Bolt-action Rifle around, but left it mantled above the fireplace. For a place without gunpowder, I'm sure I could bug Twilight to make me some kind of... magic-instead-of-gunpowder bullets, or some other type of magic shit. But I really didn't want to be the guy who introduced them to guns. I just pretended it was some kind of walking stick, binocular combo thing and tucked it away first chance I got. I know for sure Twilight didn't buy it, but they haven't had time to ask about it yet. Had a few clips for it tucked in my bag, where they would stay. Maybe I should hide it under the floorboards or something, and get a bow.

Right now, I've got my good right leg kicked up on my table, my bum left leg enjoying a chance to breathe from my prosthetic, one of Twilights books about the Everfrees plant life (Poison joke was objectively terrifying), and a cup of coffee. Thank fuck that they had coffee. 

Midday, weather was nice; light breeze through my window, it'd been a few days since I talked to Nurse Redheart. Derpy's damage to my living room was mostly forgotten, minus the... gift vase that Rarity got me for moving in, and the bushel of apples from Applejack that got bowled over, half of them bruised or mush. If Rarity ever comes over (Doubtful) I'll think up some excuse. Ate the apples anyway.

Speaking of the Elements, I got along with most of them. Rarity did up clothes for me pro-bono, which I intended to pay back once I made some profit, probably selling what I could drag out of the Everfree if that works out. Didn't think I'd like her hoity-toity attitude, but there's a surprising layer of care there. Plus, I was raised by sisters; I won't deny I'm a fiend for good gossip. Probably why me and Tia get along, too, honestly.

Applejack was nice, and an amusing reminder of home, though watching them kick apples off trees put worry in my good knee. I like her brother. Not too many other guys in town I can talk to, but I doubt he'd be down to bum it in the woods; seems like a workaholic like his sister. That bunch of kids her little sister hangs out with is trouble incarnate, but they like to bother me, which... I don't mind. They took a real liking to my woodworking, so I've made them a few things with my knife. Little wood horses, roughly based on the ponies they know, toys. Nothing amazing, but that seems to have gotten me in the Apples good graces. They like to bring me pies. I don't refuse.

Rainbow Dash is... odd. She's usually pretty boastful, and was more than happy to brag about how much faster she was than me, how she didn't need fingers; reminded me of a few guys I knew. Well, until she saw my leg one time, when we sat down outside Sugarcube Corner. Now she gets a little awkward when I'm around. Goes quiet and just kind of watches me. Applejack tells me she feels 'Mighty Embarrassed'; apparently those Wonderbolts she adores have some tie-in to my worlds Air Aces, so permanent injury might be a bit more of a grasped topic for her than most of the Ponies I know. 

Twilight is a huge fucking nerd, and can be really pushy... but I see what she's trying to do. She's got a fuckload on her plate, and I'm often down to just be the human version of the programmers rubber ducky they yell at. Her venting is a good source of info about the place, and it's nice seeing someone get so excited about something. Though, I swear to god she has to be fucking autistic or something. I've seen her stay up for three days straight for the dumbest shit. Stares at me with the widest fucking eyes whenever I use my fingers... and could really learn some boundaries. Or maybe not--she's kind of fun to mess with. Oh, Spikes cool, but same issue as Big Mac; different interests. And a bit of an age difference, I think he's like... a teenager, just ages slow.

Pinkie is a bit much for me, honestly. She means well, but I do not intend to get diabetes. I'm already iffy about all the doctors visits I've got going on for my 'Unique Biology', and honestly, I'm more shaken up about how much sugar these Ponies consume then the whole no-meat thing. (Twilight mentioned something about Griffin traders, might look into that since I've already all but given up on my image around here.) I try to appease the pink menace by visiting a few of her parties, but they... I don't do too great in crowds. I try not to be mean, though. Like Twilight, she means well. She's starting to learn no means no, which according to Twilight, is a first.

Fluttershy and I don't get along, based on the difference of how we view small animals. I don't dislike her, mind you, but she certainly doesn't like being around me ever since I talked about a few of my hunting trips. I think what keeps her from fully exiting any situation we both end up being in is my leg. Every time she sees me walk, I notice she gets a lot closer, until conversation kicks back in. 

Nurse Redheart was nice, but she kept walls up for everybody. I doubt I'd get through to her anytime soon, and any attempt would be probably interpreted as romantic, which is its own can of worms. On one hand, it was a good thing I was an ass man; on the other hand, they seemed to have a very... equine, way of approaching things, something I was unfamiliar with. Something about smells. Also, it seemed like an inverse of my world, where Mares were the 'lead' gender. Though, the disparity wasn't quite as bad here as it was on Earth. Mares and Stallions got paid the same, yada yada.
That... was kind of it. The rest, I can kind of remember some names or faces, but... yeah, most kept their distance or kept it civil.

Once I've gotten through a few more chapters (Twilight seemed to think I could manage a book a day; like I've got the attention span for that), I'd get started on that wood carving Rarity's little sister wanted... Sweet Bell? She wanted one of her big sister; apparently her birthday was coming up. Got to step my tramp stamp game. Or, er... 'Cutie Mark' game.

I blink a few times, sticking a finger in my ear to double-check. That wasn't my tinnitus, was it? It sounded like...

I could barely look over towards my open window, before a feathered grey mass with bubbles on its ass came slamming through it, bombing my couch like an errant missile.
> Chapter 3 - Hoof Delivered
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I was a betting man, I'd put twenty Bits that this Mare just hit the exact same spot she did last time. Though, I wasn't also on the couch last time.

I'm still leant back on my couch, but my book and coffee have long left my hands, somewhere on the floor. Beside me, ass-up and on her back, staring at me with wide, crossed eyes from between her legs, tail tucked right down the middle, is...
"...It's Derpy, right? Afternoon." I start slowly, giving her finer details a closer look over now that she wasn't trying to bolt back out of my window. Seems she chose the 'Frozen in shock' route this time.

Yeah, bubbles on the ass. Blonde mane and tail, uniform grey fur with some darker mottling that could be considered freckles. Golden eyes, crossed up and down. Cute face. Wings are sticking out in some awkward directions, too. She's... kind of sturdy, for a Pegasus. Compared to Dash, shes got some meat on her bones. From ferrying packages, or was one of her parents an Earth pony? 

I'm torn from my churning pot of thoughts as she finally makes a noise.

"Oh... I did it again, didn't I..." She sighs, trying to wriggle in place to get up. Minimal success is found, weighed down by her saddlebags and her awkward position. "I'm sorry, Mister. I was trying to aim for your door, to knock... now I've gone and made a mess again."

It felt like someone was yanking on my heart directly, Oh My God. Bastard I might be, this was too much. I cut her off before she has a chance to make me any sadder.
"Well, I'd rather you hit my couch than my door, honestly, so we can chalk that up to a success." 

As I start speaking, she quits wriggling, looking up at me -- okay, I have to go by where her nose is pointing to figure that out, because her eyes are not helping. She's like an Owl, looking directly at whatevers drawing her attention. 

I reach down, nestling my hands underneath her back, between her and the couch. This elicits a small 'Eep' out of her, before I slowly push and lift her into a proper sitting position where she isn't folded up like a steel chair.
"Derpy, right? You hurt at all?" I ask, watching her get settled into a more recognizable sitting position. She's running her hooves through her mane, looking away at the floor.

"No, I'm alright... one of my softer Landings, actually..." She answered quietly, pushing off the couch; stepping in my spilt coffee. She looks straight down at it, and its like another wave of guilt hits the poor thing, like she's barely holding it together. I know Nurse Redheart said she was good at toughing it out, but... she must've had a shit morning.

"Oh, that was already like that. I just haven't gotten to it yet." I fib, scratching my neck.

She looks up at me; I can tell she doesn't buy it, but I think she appreciates the gesture.
"Before I make anything worse..." She mumbles, reaching into the saddlebag with her mouth. She pulls out a scroll--must be from Tia. Been waiting on her response to my latest idea. I take it from her, placing it on the table. Before I can thank her, she's got another thing in her mouth; a bag of bits.

"Fohr de dhamages..." She mumbles, mouth full of bits bag, before placing it on the couch beside me. 
"I hope that's enough for the other day... i-if you give me some time, I- can r-replace t-the... t-..." She starts to trail off, tears welling in her eyes, shaking in place. I cant even stop myself from pushing off the couch, and just wrapping the poor thing in a hug, pressing her tightly against my chest.

Words forgotten, I can feel the hesitation before she slowly hugs me back, openly sobbing into my shoulder, shaking.







It's been about fifteen minutes. She's sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and sipping on some tea I warmed up for her. (I've got a few types. I'm not much if a tea guy, but Tia is determined to find a type I'd really like. Luna and I prefer coffee.) Her saddlebag is by the door, and I've cleaned up most of the mess.

The crying almost kicked back in when she noticed my leg, but I assured her she hadn't injured me; poor thing thought she knocked my leg right off. I'll explain what an IED is later.

...Actually, let's not.

Not really how I expected things to play out when Nurse Redheart asked me to give her a chance, but sometimes all we need is a hug. Lord knows that was the best one I've gotten in years.

Stepping out of the kitchen, I drop the rag I'd been using to clean up the coffee onto the counter after wringing it out. I take the bits bag she left on the couch, and tuck it into her saddlebags. She looks like she's about to protest, but I hold up a hand.
"You don't owe me anything. Shit happens, don't worry about it."

She sniffles and nods, looking at the floor again. I slowly ease myself onto the couch beside her, grunting as I settle in.

"T-thank you... you're a lot nicer than they say." 
I almost miss it, it was so quiet.

So they do say things about me. Figured.
"You doing alright? Feeling a bit better?" I ask, looking to her.

It takes a moment, but she nods, setting the cup on the table. She clears her throat, unwrapping herself as she starts preparing to leave.
"I am. Thank you... I'm sorry for all this. I'll find a way t-to thank you, and I don't want to take no for an answer." She says, looking up at me. I think.

Awkwardly assertive. I like it.
"Sure, Derpy. In case you come by again before I get a mailbox, I'll leave the window open and put a cushion where you usually land." I joke, letting a smile take my face. I almost trip up and go to hide it, as habit--but she doesn't feel fazed this time, instead returning my smile with a weak one of her own.



I'm standing by the door, leaning against the doorframe as I watch Derpy resume her route, flapping off. She's got a pretty good speed, though she's all over the place.

My eyes skirt the letter Tia sent me, as I sip my newly made second cup of Coffee. 

"Dear Anon,
No, we cannot temporarily send you to the Moon--"

I stop reading, making an exaggerated tsk sound as I head back inside. There go my dreams of being an astronaut.






Derpy


I watch him from a distant cloud, my hooves kneading its edge as he steps back inside.

I think I'd like another hug.
> Chapter 4 - The Dinkster
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------





Anon

Today is the day that Rarity's sister is supposed to swing by; Sweat Ball? No, no way thats it. 

Right now, I'm sat outside my house, under the awning. Picked up an old used bench from Applejack they had sitting around; almost paid me to take the old thing off their hands. Wasn't too bad on my back, if I used the wall of my house for support. I've got Swish Bish's little carving sat beside me, whittling away at the next request. Honestly, I considered opening a stall... but I don't think I've got the people skills (or pony skills) to try and sell shit. Save it for requests and such, since my current customer base was the local children. Not exactly a group known for flush pockets, but maybe word would get around.

I know Apple Bloom is one, Applejacks sister. I like the Apples, and try to swing by the orchards when I'm walking that way for a hello. They're a comforting reminder of home, and apparently they make some fucking mean cider. I keep forgetting these splashes of colors have shit like alcohol. Nowhere near Earths alcohol percentage, but I'm not terribly interested in drinking, beyond flavor. Not a fan of losing full control over my thoughts or movements.

Then there's the orange one... Scoots, I think. No clue who she was related to, but she idolizes the shit out of Rainbow Dash, and the last time she saw how Dash acted around me... man, I think that the gears in her head turning. Dashes cousin, maybe? Never seen the pipsqueak so contemplative, like her emotional maturity just spiked a level. Think she's got a thing with her wings, too, so I feel for a fellow cripple. Doesn't seem to keep her down, though--I've seen her blitz around Ponyville on that scooter.

Speaking of Dash, finally had a good conversation with her. She wanted to apologize, but apparently has some serious difficulty with any task that isn't stroking her ego. Seemed to mellow out a bit once she realized I really wasn't bothered by it, and we spent the afternoon chatting. Mostly about my leg, obviously, but that's progress.

Last one is Swash Buckler. Sweet little thing, and the one I'm waiting on; said she'd swing by after classes ended to grab it for me. Wouldn't call her timid, but she's probably the least when it comes to how... loud of a personality the other two have. Definitely took after her big sister in the caring department, though. While not as brazen as Apple Bloom, Bell was a smart one. Smartest of the lot, I'd bet.

Distantly, I can hear the bell ring, signaling the end of the schoolday for the children. Should be about the time that Swell Bell comes by. 

Okay, I know I got that second half right. I'm just gonna call her Bell until I figure out the first half. These Ponies had some awkward names to try and remember, but I was getting some of them. (The rest, I just worked off of Nicknames, though nicknames were gonna happen even if I did remember their name. Some stuck, like Rares, for Rarity. Others didn't, like Buttspark for Twilight. Didn't stop me from trying, though. 'Sunbutt' hasn't corrected me yet, so that's something to unpack later.) Some of their names were pretty on the nose, which helped; apparently parents didn't really... 'Pick' a name? More just like they... knew? Probably whatever Magic that was in line with a butt tattoo showing up on their ass.

Putting my whittling knife down on the bench, I fish my binoculars out of my jacket pocket, squinting through them. Peeping down on the town was slowly becoming a hobby of mine, though I tried to avoid windows. Didn't need 'Peeping Tom' added to my reputation... Did Ponies have that kind of shit? Crime was almost nonexistent around here, at least around Ponyville, I heard from Twilight. 

I slowly scan over the square, trying to find the school... my hilltop abode grants me some good sightlines, so it doesn't take long to find Buttflower (Seen her, never met her, and yeah, a lot of my nicknames involve 'Butt', their fault) ushering the Fillies and Foals outside. There's a few parents waiting, but the small-town community vibe thrives here, and a good chunk of them just run off around town, either to play or head home. 

I scan the scattering kids for a few familiar colors, and the white, yellow and orange trouble-trio bunching up. Apparently finding your butt-picture was important enough that they called themselves Cutie-Mark Crusaders. The mental vision of the three Fillies in historical templar crusading armor amused me for long enough that I lost track of them. 

Back to scanning the crowds.

Doesn't take me long to find one of them again, specifically Bell. She was approaching the long climb up to my hill, though she wasn't alone. Another Filly, one I didn't recognize, was walking alongside her as the two were chatting, flailing hooves and giggling. Too far to hear what they were talking about, and would be for a few more minutes. Blonde Mane with a Lavender coat, compared to Sweetie's White and Purple; both Unicorns, though.

The topic of magic... Earth had a pretty good grasp of it in a lot of media. A comically over-useful plot device that was as overpowered as the individual was capable of. Apparently, everything had magic, but Unicorns were the ones that floated shit with their horns. Twilight was always eager to show me any time I asked, and that helped me understand. Most Unicorns are specialized, or reasonably powered. The Unicorns I knew personally could teleport.

I've firmly recommended to Twilight that she never make my prosthetic alive again.

Now that they're getting closer, I tuck my Binoculars back into my pocket. I see Bell raise a hoof, waving at me; I return the wave back. The second Filly waves, apparently even more excited. I can only imagine what the kids say about me, though I doubt most of it is good.

"Mister Human!" I hear Bell shout, the pair kicking up to a trot as they cross the final stretch up towards my porch. I bet you she forgot my name, too.
"Hi Mister Muss!" The second Filly shouts. 

Huh, wasn't expecting that.

"Hey, Bell. Brought a friend?" I ask, leaning forward against my knees as I greet the pair.

"Sure did! She's--" Bell starts, but pauses, looking around. The poor thing gets cut off by Scoots and Apple Bloom so much, I think it's second nature for her to expect it even when they aren't here. Finding nobody intends to, she lets out a little sigh of relief, before--
"I'm Dinky!" The lavender one pipes up, voice just as squeaky as the rest. Bell groans, face-hoofing. Dinky smiles widely, staring at me. "You met my mom!"

"Oh, Derpy's kid. I can see it, now." I mutter, leaning forward. Swap the purple for grey, horn for wings... Dad must've been a Unicorn, then. Dinky nods, still beaming excitement. 

Bell steps forward, eyes already glued to the hand-sized figure beside me. I chuckle, picking it up and holding it out for her; a soft light-green glow covers it, and I watch as it floats out of my hand towards her. It was a carved figurine of Rarity in a rearing-back pose, mane flowing, on a small base. Her styled hair was interesting to try and transcribe onto the wood, but I think I got it pretty good.
"Think she'll like it?" I ask, looking expectantly. I won't lie--I'm really hoping the kid likes it. 

She looks up from it, smiling wide. I'm promptly tackled in the midsection, her hooves wrapping around me as she hugs me tight. I can't help but laugh, returning the hug before patting her head, setting her back down.

"It's wonderful. How did you make it?" Bell asks once she's back on the ground, the little figure floating beside her. Mental fist pump.

I waggle my fingers with one hand, and hold up my whittling knife in the other.
"Piece of wood, knife, and time. Helps that I was able to get a pretty good mental image of Rarity while she was sizing me for clothes."

"Could I... maybe... ask for another?" She asks softly, that mischievous smile kids get when they're excited slowly spreading on her face.

"Sure. I've got to make like... another three Rainbow Dashes for Scoots, but I could probably do something for you after." I joke. Well, not actually a joke, but I still think its funny.

Bell nods excitedly, starting to turn.
"Okay! Thank you, Mister Hum-- Muss!" She shouts, starting to trot down the hill. "I've got to get home quick, but I'll bring some bits by for it! Bye Dinky!" 

Dinky and I wave, and I look to Dinky as she turns back to face me. She's sat on her haunches a few feet from me, staring up at me, smiling. Didn't expect her to stick around, thought she'd roll with Bell.

"You want one, too? I don't charge anything for them." I ask. Even if its just for free goodies, I still appreciate the attention. Surprisingly, she shakes her head no, still staring at me.

"Offers always open." I respond, nodding. I lean back, picking up my in-progress piece (A little something for Nurse Redmane, don't worry about it) starting to shave off new segments.


A few moments pass, and I realize I slipped into the workflow. Woops, I glance up--

Oh, still there, smiling. Uh...

"...You don't have to sit on the ground, you know." I offer, patting beside myself on the bench. I was going to assume she might be shy, but the moment I offer, she hops right up, settling in right beside me. Alright.


Now she's watching me work. Curious little thing. She's even humming, though I've no clue what. 

"Your mom not expecting you?" I ask, another of many flakes of wood floating to the ground beneath me. Had a little pile going between my feet.

"Nope. Mom doesn't get home until late." She responds, still watching my hands work. I hold the knife and the figure with one hand, poking her on the nose with my finger with my free hand. She recoils, blinking a few times before looking up at me, tilting her head.

"She cool with you hanging out with me? Stranger danger, that kind of thing?" I ask, but she looks down to think for a moment. Big thoughts incoming, judging by how long she's thinking.

"... I wanted to say thank you." She finally speaks, looking back up to me. The smile isn't as wide, but its just as heartfelt. I raise an eyebrow.

"Sure? I mean, it's a bench." 

"No, not that. About my Mom."

"...Not following." 

She shuffles in place until she's sat facing me, tail swishing around.
"Mommy was doing her fake smile around the house for, like... a whole week. She doesn't think I know, but I know. She doesn't like looking sad in front of me." She starts. 

"Oh, that's..." I start to mutter, but she keeps going.

"A few days ago, she looked really, really sad. I heard her crying in her room. But, the next day, she was smiling! Real smiling! I asked her about it--well, not about the sad-not-smile but just the real-smile, and she told me about you!" She squeaks, inching closer.

"Oh...Yeah?" 
Words aren't exactly flowing right now. Wasn't really expecting this. Thankfully, she's not looking at me to respond just yet, and she keeps going.

"You didn't say the mean things other Ponies say about her, you even gave her tea, and helped her with her packages! She said you gave really nice hugs! Can I have one?" She squeaks again, my heart clenching from how fucking cute this kid was.

I practically sputter, which she takes as affirmation, and wraps her hooves around me. Or, as much as she can, anyway.
I'm just staring forward, processing this, my hand eventually finding its way to pat her on the back. She looks straight up at me, face half-mushed and words muffled as she's pressed against me.

"Thank you, Mister Muss. I like when my mom smiles. Real-smiles. And you make her do it! So I like you."

This is coercion of the highest fucking degree. It should be illegal for these things to be this fucking cute.

She lets go of me, scooting back to her original spot.

"That's... very sweet of you, Dinky. I like--" I start saying, before realizing I didn't give myself enough time to process thoughts into words. Uh, fuck no. Don't say you like a lone child you just met. Abort. Say you like literally anything else.

"--your mom." 

Nailed it. Fucking moron. Damage control.

"Too. She's, uh, really nice." I add at the end. Internal fist-pump. Fucking smooth, that's why you're the best.

Dinky practically beams, her smile gets so wide.
"You do!? I'll tell her! That'll make her really, really real-smile! She couldn't stop talking about you last night!" 

Oh, fuck.

Dinky leaps from the bench, already trotting home. 
"Bye Mister Muss!" She pauses, waving with a hoof, before bolting off. I doubt if I had two good legs, I'd catch her, so I don't even consider it with one, just waving.

"Seeya 'round. Dinkster."

I sit in silence for a few minutes, processing that, before returning to my whittling. That's gonna have repercussions, but that's a problem for later.
> Chapter 5 - Not Quite
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I may be... abstaining, from getting a mailbox just yet. For obvious reasons.

I may have purchased a cushion from Rarity, fibbing slightly about why I wanted one. Couch looks a little nicer with it, actually.

I am definitely not used to being visited by Dinky every day. I'm not even on my porch most times, this kid just straight up knocks on my door.

It's been a few days since Bell picked up her gift. Dinky comes by every time school is out. Either with one of the Crusaders, the whole bunch, or just by herself. I don't think the filly has much to... do, after school. Apparently, while there's not a crazy amount of mail for Ponyville, there's very few employees for the Post Office. 

Sat on the couch, deeply comfortable, I had gotten as much coffee out of the pages as I could from Derpys' last visit, but I was holding off on bringing this one back to Twilight. For a while. I'll probably just eat the blame. This section was about Cockatrices. With every page, my grand idea of romping the Everfree was dwindling, as were the remaining bits from Sunbutts loan. Still trying to figure out a line of work.

"And your mom is... cool, with you coming over like this?" I ask, glancing up from my book about the Everfree. 

Dinky, sat beside me on the couch, homework spread out on my coffee table, nods enthusiastically. 
"Nope!" She squeaks, smiling wide.

I blink a few times, rubbing my temple. She picks up on my, obvious and unneeded confusion, and explains.

"Mom was like, super happy to hear you like her too! I asked if I could keep visiting you after school, but she doesn't want me to be a burden or upset you! Well, she said that after she stopped blushing--"

I cough, choking on my coffee. 

"Careful! Anyway--" Dinky continues, unabated. "Since she doesn't want me coming over and being a burden, I'll just visit and NOT be a burden! Smart, right?" She grins, looking at me expectantly. 

I finish clearing the wrong pipe of coffee, and wipe my face on my sleeve. I lean back, staring at this kid. 

Honestly, had to respect it. Bit of a weird situation, but... I'll ask Twilight about it later.

"...Yeah, you're alright. Let your mom know it's fine, though I won't be home every time." I relent. I'll admit, it was kind of nice to have a visitor. Even if I did almost try to serve her coffee when she came over.

Dinky beams, nodding. But then, the smile fades slightly, and she tilts her head.
"Why wouldn't you be here?"

"I've got to get a job, pick up some work. Woodcarving isn't the lucrative business you might expect." I respond, sipping and flipping the page of my book. Manticore? Jesus.

Dinky seems to deflate a little at the word 'work', looking down to her pages and growing silent.
"...Like mom?" She asks, quietly. Oh, fuck, kid meant like if I'd be gone as long as her mom.

Shit, man, I wasn't expecting to have to juggle getting a job around disappointing a kid. 

"Uh..." I mumble, taking a chance to glance down at her.

Oh, fucking mistake. She's hitting me with the big, wobbling, tearing-up eyes. I swear, she knows what she's doing.

Resist. This isn't even your kid.

...

A long groan escapes me as my head lolls back, resting against the couch.

...If I did Everfree runs, I could probably make above-average pay for a fraction of the days work. You know, only at risk to my life and shit. And that's if I can find ponies to sell it to, otherwise I'm just supporting myself. Which, I've done, but still...

I try to resist taking another glance--but, I peek out of the corner of my eye.

Her lip is trembling. My resolve shatters. Fuck these things for being so cute.

I drop my book on the table, slapping my knee. Dinky startles, looking at me with surprise. I groan, shaking my head.

"...No, I've... got some work lined up that'll only take a few hours. Otherwise, I'll be here. Or around."

Dinky's face practically explodes in a smile, and she wraps herself around my midsection, hugging me tight. 
"Mom was right. You really give the best hugs."

There's no fucking way this kid doesn't know what she's doing. No kid is this fucking sweet.







I'm standing at the edge of the Everfree, wearing my full kit. For my safety, for the first couple of runs, I've got my gun slung over my shoulder. I want to try to avoid using it, but with half the shit I read about, I want to get comfortable first.

Zecora helped me map out some general 'no-go' areas, based on local populations. Poison joke areas, nests for things I do not want to run into, the like. She was even kind enough to mark in the book (permanently, sorry Twilight--at this point I'm just going to buy the damn thing) which plants the Ponies might like the most. Medicinal and recreational ones, for salves and teas. 

The things I do because I may or may not have a small crush on a small bubble-butt pegasus whose daughter coerces me into danger with puppy-dog eyes.

I groan, shifting the sling of my pack, and start trekking into the looming woods.

~

In only a few minutes, it's already difficult to see behind me. It's only going to get worse from here.

~

...Honestly, I kind of missed this. It's not any forest I know, but if I stop paying attention (bad idea, but I'm full of those) it kind of just feels like I'm on one of my trips, back home. Some kind of bird is tweeting distantly, and the greenery here is lush. No signs of any sort of pollution, no garbage...

I could get used to this.

~

Surprisingly, it didn't backfire. One hitch, which went quite well. Could have gone fucking terribly, but went quite well.

Leg got stuck in a root, nearly whacked my head on a rock. Looks like I got rusty.

I'm home now, leg is sore, backpack slumped open on my coffee table as I pick through my findings, sorting them and double-checking their page in the book. Place is abundant with the shit, since the Ponies avoid that place like the plague. Should be good pickings for the future.

Now, how do I sell these?







I sip the coffee I got from Sugarcube Corner, sat at one of its tables. Half eaten donut on my plate.

Pinkie was nice when I went inside. Reeled it in a little bit, for me. She tries to avoid startling me, which I appreciate, but I'm not sure why she does that. 

Another hitch. Bigger one this time. I thought they'd all clamor for the stuff, since they can never get it. Turns out, since they never get it, they've found out how to never need it. And since I'm a shit salesman, I can't exactly sell a Pony something it doesn't need. I tried the market stalls, and I'm not about to hassle people walking around to buy my shit. I've got more self respect then that.

I take a slow sip of my coffee.

Well, I've got two more places in mind.







"And you got these from the Everfree?" Nurse Redheart asks, giving me a concerned stare. Her office was about as cozy as usual, with its white walls, white tiles, and surgical glare. I don't think this Mare knows comfort.

"Yep." I nod.

"And you aren't... hurt? Did you hit your head?" She follows up, frowning.

"If you're going to insinuate that I'd need brain damage to try and harvest the Everfree, I'm going to remind you of a striped denizen that lives inside of it. Just so you don't sound racist." I return, giving a little finger-waggle.

Redheart frowns.
"Big difference between someone whose lived there for a long while, and someone who read a book and started hiking it, Mister Muss. And if I was racist-- which im not --you wouldn't have stepped foot inside this clinic. Remember that." She scolds, waggling a hoof at me in turn.

"...From what I heard, stripes get it worse around here than bipeds." I mutter.

Redheart sighs, and is about to say something... but seems to recall that only one of the two actually live inside the town.
"Moving on." She huffs, adjusting her seating and clearing her throat. "You brought these here... why?"

I pull up the book, holding it open and tapping at its associated page. "Medical herb, according to Zecora. Tried selling at the Marketplace, but--"

"Got treated like a snake-oil salesman?" Redheart assumes. She assumes correctly.

I nod, lowering the book.

She sighs, taking a moment to contemplate. Eventually, she leans, opening a drawer, and pulling a few bits.
"The Clinic will take them, but I can't promise that we'll take them next time. I would recommend--"

My hands go up.
"Nope. Keep 'em. Both."
I stand, slinging my bag. Redheart looks up at me, confused.

"...Anon, what are you--"
"I'm not taking pity Bits. I'm sure you've got your own supply chain from wherever you order your supplies from. I appreciate the heads-up that this line of work isn't gonna pan out." I sigh, but wave in thanks, turning to leave.

"Anon! They aren't pity Bits, I'm telling you--"

"Stop."

We both pause as I state it firmly, holding my hand up.
"It's appreciated, honestly. But I can't take those. I've still got a few ideas. See you next visit, Reddy."
I turn, and leave.

Behind me, I can hear Nurse Redheart sigh.







I'm back at Sugarcube Corner. Second Coffee, second donut. Pinkie didn't charge me this time. I think she just... knows things. Probably a magic thing. That, or I don't hide my mood on my face as well as I think i do.

There's just something about pity. About not being able to handle myself, or work it out myself. Irks me, eats at me. I can take people thinking lesser of me, disliking me. But pitying me? Oh, that shit bothers me. I know she means well. Just...

Ugh.

I sip loudly, getting a glare from one of the other patrons. Some mottled shit-brown and red stallion-guy. Do something about it, asshole.

He goes back to his newspaper, muttering.

I sip loudly, triumphant. My mood is better. I know its dumb. But I enjoy the pettiness.

Alright, last stop.







The Library door opens, Twilight blinking and rubbing her eye from the sunlight. The bags under her eyes have bags. 

"Fuck, when's the last time you slept?" I mutter, leaning to get a better look at her.

"...Fifteen minutes ago." She mumbles.

"Before that?" 

"...Four days."

I groan, shooing her back inside as I step in after her. Yeah, I'm not gonna try and sell her 'Research Plants' when she's going to fall asleep standing up--

I pause as I close the door, watching her. She'd moved to the side to make room for me, but her eyes are have closed. She wobbles slightly to each side, balancing herself.

And snores. She fell asleep standing up.


~


I shut the door to her room carefully, leaving the tucked-in Twilight to catch up on the sleep she needed. I'll ask what the fuck had her up for four days straight later.

As I'm heading downstairs, I bump into Spike. He's laid on the floor, a few comic books spread out around him. He looks up at me, giving a short wave.

"Hey." I nod, about to go down the steps to the next floor. I pause. I look back.

He's got a bowl of gems beside himself. He picks one up, licks it, then bites an entire chunk out of it. I squint.

"...Hey, Spike." I speak up, taking a few steps back up so I'm on the same floor again.

"Ogh--mfhp, yeah?" Spike mumbles, chewing -- very crunchy -- and swallowing. "What's up?"

"Are those worth Bits?" I ask, pointing a finger at his meal.

"Uh... a few, yeah? They're pretty plentiful." He answers, tilting his head while his little feet kick. "Why?"

I scratch my chin, trying to think. "...Where do you get them?"

Spike changes which elbow he's leaning on, his tail flicking. 
"The Mountains! I usually dig for them, with Rarity. Ponyville doesn't have any gem sellers. Or any need for gems, really, but I'm not allowed to go alone." 

"Dangerous?"

He nods.
"Not as bad as the Everfree, but there's Diamond Dogs that prowl the cliffs. They're territorial about Gems."

That's a new one.
"Fuck are th--sorry. Wait, no I'm not. Fuck are those?" Twilight doesn't like me swearing in front of Spike. However, 'Fuck' doesn't exist in their swears vocabulary. 'Buck' kind of does, but not really--it's weird. But, means I get to say fuck and nobody cares. Just a weird human word.

Spike rolls his eyes. He knows exactly what's up, and says nothing about it. Good lad.
"Tiny legs, huge arms. Can be as big as me, to as big as Celestia, even bigger! They dig for Gems, kidnap ponies, steal from Caravans. Bad bunch."

"Got a book on them?"

"You return the other ones yet?"

My lips purse. I nod slowly, turning to leave. He chuckles.

"Thanks Spike. Oh, I'm gonna leave some plants I found on the table. Get Twi to take a look at them when she wakes up." 

He throws me a thumbs up, and goes back to reading. 


I've got the start to a beautiful -- and terrible -- idea.
> Chapter 6 - Interrupted Machinations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm walking back from Twilights library machinations brewing in the mind. If I could pull it off, I might not even need to get a job around here. Not really a long-term solution, but baby steps.

I'm so distracted, I almost don't even notice her -- It's a distant sneer that I half-presume is meant for me that draws me out of my thoughts. I pause, glancing around.

Up ahead, there's a Pony couple passing a lamp-post. They're looking up at it as they do--frowning, shaking their head, muttering and moving on.

I follow their line of sight up, and nearly double-take.

Derpy. Her saddle-bag is wrapped around the top of the now slightly-bent lamp post, and she's dangling from it, stuck in a weird position that doesn't let her use her wings, hooves, or mouth to get out of it.

I quicken my pace, as much as my leg allows, crossing the rest of the plaza and pausing underneath the streetlamp, resting a hand on it. Since it's sized for Ponies, I can almost reach her.

"Hey Derpy." I ask, softly. No real need to yell, considering she was only like a foot or two above my head. 

She glances around, confused, distracted from trying to wrest herself free with her mouth. The moment she realizes it's me, however, a blush takes her face, and she partially hides behind her hooves. 
"Oh! Hey Anon." She mutters.

"Just, uh... hanging out?" I snicker, smiling. 

Seems my smile is contagious. She smiles a little herself.

I reach up, placing a hand on her hoof. She glances away, but doesn't move. Then again, she doesn't really have a choice right now.

"...You want some help getting down?" I follow up, keeping my voice soft.

"Oh, n-no, it's alright. I don't want to be a bother. I'll get down... eventually... though I'm gonna be running late... I hope Dinky feeds herself..."  She starts to mumble.

"Hey, no bother at all. I'm probably the only one around here without magic that can actually reach. Let me help. It's no trouble, promise." I assure her.

She's hesitant, but eventually, Derpy nods. 
"My strap is stuck..." She motions, having twisted around on impact, securing herself awkwardly.

Reaching up and stretching my arms above me, I feel out the saddlebag and its straps, looking for the buckle. Easiest to pop it off for the moment, then re-secure it once she's free. My hands brush her soft fur a few times, but proximity is required for this. I try to remain polite about it, and try to keep talking so it's a little less awkward.

"Ponies around here usually that... unhelpful?" I ask softly, nodding in the direction of the couple, now across the plaza.

"N-no! No, they... used to help me. And still do! They didn't even mind so much when I bumped into things, or make a mess, or get stuck. But, I guess I do it so much, they got... tired of it. That's okay, though, I get it. I don't mind. I always get myself down or clean up, eventually." Derpy responds, watching my hands. I think. Hard to track where she's looking from this position, but the smile on her face fades slightly.
"Oh, but... Twilight and her friends always try to help me. Usually."
She tries to fix her smile, and its pretty convincing... but I'm starting to pick up when this mare is forcing it. 

And what does she mean, usually? 

"Well, hey. Anytime you're in a situation, you can always call on me. That's what friends are for, yeah?" I offer, giving her a reassuring smile. Her face tucks behind her hooves.

"A-are you sure? I-" She stutters.

"Absolutely." I interrupt, reaffirming my stance.

"...Thank you." She mumbles. She clearly wants to say more, but, dangling from a lamp post in the middle of Ponyvilles Square might not be the best place for it, opting to save it for later.

I finally manage to find the clasp, and start working it open. My time spent trying to free Derpy gives me a good chance to look it over; its an old Saddlebag, worn with age, but far from in disrepair. The care put into keeping it maintained is pretty clear, with a few hoof-sewn patches and a few buttons clearly newer than the others.

Suddenly, the clasp gives, and Derpy is free--and about to fall. There's a second where I consider if letting her catch herself with her wings is best, but before that thought has even found its conclusion, the freckled-grey mare is held softly in my arms. Her face holds a deep blush, hiding a smile. Shit, Dinky wasn't kidding.

It's a little awkward to make do, but I kneel to set her down, before pushing back up and unwrapping the saddlebag off the light post.

"Oh, you don't need to--" She starts, but quickly falls silent as I bring the sling the saddlebag over her. She watches my hands, re-clasping it around the mailmare and tugging it secure.

"There you are. All set?" I ask, leaning to check its snugness, giving her sides a soft tap.

Derpy gives it a testing wiggle, before flapping her wings. She looks up at me, smiling, before hugging my leg.

Shit, man. Those cute-ass smiles run in the family.

"Thank you. I-I should get going, I'm already behind on my route." Derpy says, letting go and trotting back a few hoofsteps.

"Yeah, of course. Fly safe, Derpy, and say hey to Dinky for me. Oh, and tell her she left her Hoofstory homework on my table."

Derpy looks confused for a second, frowning slightly.
"... That little Filly, I told her to stop bothering you. I'm sorry, Anon--"

"No, no, it's all good. She's a sweetheart, no trouble at all. I appreciate the company." I retort. Good to know Dinky is a little liberal with the information she parts.

"Are you sure, Anon? I appreciate everything you've done, but I don't want Dinky to intrude."

I hold my hands up, shaking my head.
"You and Dinky are welcome over anytime. Knock, or use the window if it's open." I chuckle.

"O-oh. Oh! Uh... alright." Derpy trails off, rubbing one hoof with the other. "If she behaves. But she's grounded for fibbing, first of all. After, she, uh... gets her homework."

"Sounds fine to me, Derpy."

I wave as the mailmare takes an unsteady lift-off, but thankfully, she doesn't impact anything else as she looks behind herself, waving back to me.

I scratch my chin, starting my walk back towards my house. I need a shave.



 




It's been about a week since that incident.

Had a talk with Twilight, once she actually got some sleep. She offered me a few bits for the plants, citing them as uncommonly gathered herbs that she could run a few tests on. Fair enough.

Asked her about how the town reacts to Derpy. They try to help when they can, but, most of the time they aren't in the area. Dash is the only one who commonly sees her, but apparently an incident involving a storm-cloud and one of the towns buildings put a sour taste in Dashes mouth, and now she tries to ignore Derpy. I guess the Element of Loyalty can be selective.

Dinky came by, yet didn't seem downtrodden from being grounded. Something about her mom happily trotting around the house. Plus, it was only like three days before the filly was knocking on my door again.

I've ran into Derpy a few more times since then; thankfully, no incidents that she needed help from. Sometimes I catch her dropping mail off at my house; sometimes, I get home and find them neatly sorted on the table. She's getting pretty good at landing through my window without making a mess. Now and then I'll bump into her on the street, and we'll pause for a bit, chatting. Tried to invite her for a coffee, but she just doesn't have the time. She does get Sundays off, though... might ask her about that.

In the meantime, I've had some time to brew on my thoughts. I wasn't going to piss around town trying to do odd jobs, and the skills I had to offer were... not in high demand around here. Maybe if I felt like moving to Griffonia, but... pass. I had a reason to stay here, and she had bubbles on her butt. So instead, I'd do something that I knew how to do... that I'd try to avoid talking about when I was done.

I asked Twilight about the Diamond dogs; fairly troublesome, with stealing from Ponies and even enslaving them, though their territorial nature keeps them from encroaching. This should work out, then, without too much moral issue. Raiders and Slavers. I can work with that.

Sat on my couch, I've got my hunting gear spread out on my coffee table. Sent Dinky home about an hour ago; don't want this being known. I've got my rifle laid out, slightly dissembled for maintenance. A Model 70 Alaskan, chambered in .30-06; I peek through the scope, rubbing the end softly with a cloth to clear a smudge. I have about 20 rounds for it, enough for three reloads after I've filled it once. Kind of wish I had more, but that's all I had stuffed in my bag before I wound up here; and honestly, I don't want to rely on this method. I want to use it like a springboard. I keep the spare rounds in a small pouch on my belt for hand-loading, no magazines.

I pick up one of the bullets, slowly inspecting it, its brass casing glinting softly in the midday sun that peers through my window. I'd need to make sure I clean up after. Don't leave behind any casings, and dig the bullet out of the target.

Content with the maintenance, I reassemble the gun, pack my things, and sling it over my shoulder.

Locking my door, I trek for the mountains.
> Chapter 7 - Return to Form
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was the first time I'd just... gone somewhere on my own since my arrival. Between Ponyville, the Train, and Canterlot, I haven't seen much else of Equestria. Even my initial romp through the Everfree was a lighter one, skirting most of the dangerous areas by a wide margin. But this...

A long, slow breath takes fresh, crisp air into my lungs. The Everfree was a little more stressful, so it didn't quite click... but this. I always had a soft spot for roaming on my own. My Hunting trips were my comfort back home, and it'd been close to half a year since. This was as close as I was gonna get to one here. 

Maybe fishing would be more socially acceptable here. I could settle for that. I'd have to ask Twilight about fishing law. Maybe Dash or AJ know some local areas... or maybe Sunbutt knows a good river or two. I'll ask in my next letter once I'm sure fishing won't plummet my social credit score.

I'd left a note on my door saying I'd be gone for a couple of days. Mostly so Dinky or the crusading trio didn't sit outside wondering where I was, since I didn't get other visitors. Didn't foresee myself being gone too long, the Mountains didn't look very far, as long as I kept a good pace.





The first day was full day of just straight trekking, with a hint of hiking. Skirting the Everfree, I mostly stuck to the road as it cut into plains, before I figured a good direction towards the mountains and broke off the path. Waist high Tallgrass kept me company, reminding me to check myself for ticks when I settled for the night. With how similar Equestria was to Earth, it was always a guess of whether or not they actually had the same thing, some comical variant with a horse pun, or just didn't have it at all. But out here, it was just me and my thoughts; clear blue skys, minimal clouds, and a soft breeze. Or it was, for a bit. 

I could hear the flapping of wings approaching from higher up, my head tilting to try and pin the sound. A familiar rainbow-colored blue Pegasus came skirting around me, hovering at about head level as I pause. Not the company I was expecting.

"Hey, uh--Anon." Dash greeted me quickly, though it wasn't her usual tone.

"Hey. What's up?" I return, waiting expectantly. She was glancing around a lot, like she was worried. 

"Oh, uh, nothing. Absolutely nothing, just uh... checking on you, since you know, you're... walking." She rambles.

"Yeah, I tend to do that." My eyebrow raises. She hasn't stuttered this bad since she first saw my leg.

"Y-yeah! Yeah, you do. Uh... since you've been, you know, walking... here, this way... you haven't seen Scootaloo have you?" Dash asks, flapping closer.

"Scoots? Uh..." I trail off. "Not since she last swung by with Apple Bloom for those figures of you she wanted. Why?"

"Figures of me? Oh. Ha! Wait, uh... no, nevermind. Thanks Anon!" Dash shouts, before rocketing back off into the sky. 

"...Yeah." I mumble, staring after the trail she leaves. Weird, but, weird happened weekly. Must've gotten in trouble or something. Ever since Twilight let me know the Elements tended to have most problems covered around Ponyville, I stopped offering to help. If they needed it they'd ask.

Shrugging to readjust my pack, I resume my cut through the plains. Probably just a story I'll hear about when I get back. Those Fillies had apparently gotten up to some serious mischief before, and were probably at it again.

Eventually, as Evening starts to near, the steep inclines as plains begin to turn to hills. I settle against the side of a steep curve, using a rogue tree as cover for the night, nestling my tent against it.

The smokey trails from my campfire fill my nostrils, and I'm in a damn good mood. I feel like I belong out here.

Soon, I settle for the night.





The Humvee rolls around the ill-kept road, sun glaring down, the gunners legs between me and the other soldier in the backseat. Driver and shotgun are shooting the shit; something about who they'd let their sisters date in the barracks. 

I'm jostling around in the back seat, service rifle strapped to my chest as I glare out the window, watching homes and faces flit by. It's hard to focus on anything outside the window. Faces are fuzzy, details are hard to grasp. Inside, though, everything is crystal clear. Especially with how fucking sweaty it is.

"...Thou always has the oddest dreams." I hear whispered beside me. I blink, using a hand to adjust my helmet as I follow the sound. Past my gunners legs, amusingly geared in a somewhat surprisingly accurate depiction of my uniform, instead of my fellow backseat buddy, is the Princess of the Moon. Her horn sticks out of a hole in the front of the helmet, Mane seeping out from the bottom. She's looking over everything with curiosity. Usually, when I see her in person, she's tired... muted. The odd time I see her in my dreams, she's in her element. Which, for my dreams, includes a healthy scoop of nosiness.

"Patrol. Usually pretty standard." I respond, shifting to lean back in my seat.

"...Your dreams remind me of those we used to observe before our banishment. When war was not far off the average Ponies mind, their dreams never drifted far from it." She continues, now peering to look up towards the gunners hatch. 

"Didn't take you Ponies for that type. Should share stories one day; bet you've got some good ones." I respond, following her gaze. Ramirez was on the gun. So it was that dream.

"...Perhaps. I could--" Luna starts. The conversation in the front seats died out suddenly, drawing Lunas attention. 

"...What is that?" She mutters, squinting forward, between the seats and onto the road ahead, as it became unusually crisp. Couple dozen feet ahead, middle of the road, a kid in rags. Holding something in a paper bag.

Luna watches as I pat Ramirez's legs, a pang of guilt in my throat as I flick my gun off of safety. The Humvee swerves, driver shouting, before the explosion rocks the car off its axis, tumbling and rolling as it hits the side of the road.





I blink awake, heart pounding, patting my chest for my rifle. When my hands find the strap to my hunting rifle, not my service rifle, a long breath escapes me. Paced breathing helps slow the heartbeat.

I'd probably hear from Luna about that in my next letter with Tia. With a groan, I push myself out of my tent, starting to pack up and prep for the days trek.

Soon, the hills start to give way to mountains and cliff faces. Ponyville was far, far in the distance now. With camp broken, I continued higher, and further. I was holding up pretty well, for being a few months off my game. Only needed the odd break every few hours to let my leg breathe. 

By the end of the second day, I couldn't see any of Ponyville, nor the forests. I was fully and deeply in the mountains, skirting cliff-faces and loosely following the easiest paths. This is where I would start to search.

I settled for the night beside an indent against the cliff walls. I'd brought some wood with me from below, but it wasn't going to last for very long. Good enough to have a warm meal and get comfortable.

A distant howling perks my ears, but its far. Makes me wonder if it was Wolves, Diamond dogs... or some other odd option.

Sleep doesn't come as easily as it did last night, but I fall asleep all the same.





I'm sat with Tia and Luna, in the royal dining hall. The castle is oddly quiet, no staff or guards. Tia looks tired, but has a small plate of tea, and a little cake in front of her. Luna has her own cup, but doesn't touch it, staring at me. I think this time, she pulled me into her dream? Or is... she making me dream of this? Her magic worked weird.

Tia looks tired. This is promptly proven when she stifles a yawn.
"Sister..." Tia starts, placing her cup down, the soft golden glow leaving it. "You and I both know that Nonny's world doesn't work like ours."

"We are aware, Sister. Anon. I wanted to ask you earlier, but my Sister bade me to wait. So, now I ask you; what was that?" She asks. Oh. Last night. I look to Tia, raising an eyebrow.

"Is she actually here, or...?" I trail off, pointing at Celestia.

"Yes. We can draw multiple dreamers into one dream, though it is not something we do often." Luna informs.

"Your world is strange, Nonny, but it's not as though we do not understand." Tia says softly, flicking a half-lidded, tired gaze my way. "And I was just curious. I don't get to peek into your dreams..." Tia trails off, pouting.

"Sister." Luna chirps.

"You're not missing much. Nothing gossip worthy, anyway." I add.

Tia sighs softly, looking to me again.
"I'm not here to offer you help, or a solution, or stage an... intervention, as Luna may have wanted."

"Sister--!" Luna starts, but is cut off by a raised hoof.

"With her unique position on the matter, she cares deeply for those affected by the... more violent things from a time she still remembers. I simply wanted to ask if you're alright... and if you'd like to talk." Celestia continues nonetheless.

Luna is practically fuming, but... 

"We did say something about swapping stories, right?" I ask towards Luna. She blinks, settling slightly.

"Yes, we did. Do you..." Luna starts.

"I don't want to keep Tia up, or keep you from your duties... but I wouldn't mind sharing stories now and then over... dream tea, or whatever you want to call this." I relent, looking down. There were like... four different cups on my plate.

Tia smiles.





I stir, rubbing my temples. 

Fuck, those Mares had some stories. Made them promise to show me the royal armory next visit. Apparently this place didn't get to sunshine and Harmony without a few roadbumps, and living for a few thousand years meant they had to get their hooves dirty. 

I think I'll stop pestering them to let me visit the moon.

Now on the third day, once I'd packed up and started out again, I spent most of it searching. I had a rough idea what they looked like, but it was important that I got the drop on them; not the inverse. I started climbing up and perching on higher points, watching and listening for a while before shifting to another, using my binoculars to try and peep for any caves or mines. 

It was a few hours past noon when I finally found what I was looking for.
> Chapter 8 - A Surprise
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike wasn't lying. Malformed looking things.

Bipedal, like myself, but comically proportioned. Ranging in fur color from blacks to browns, they bore some similarity to the Canine breeds on Earth, facially. Though they dressed like a poor western gang.

Nestled atop a nearby cliff, my bag tucked underneath a few rocks to the side, I laid on my stomach.

Squinting through the scope, my rifle nestled against my shoulder, I laid in the shadowy overhang of a higher cliff, my jacket laid out underneath myself for comfort. The way I had imagined it playing out, it'd be some kind of generic mine shaft, a few weird dog-people standing guard, and gems sitting in baskets or carts. 

Funny enough, I wasn't terribly off in my guess, though I hadn't accounted for some aspects of it.

This section of the mountain served like a protective bowl, with the center hollowed out in the style of an open-pit mine, a dilapidated mine track slowly spiraling into its grey stoned center. Most of the carts were empty, but I saw one that had a glint to it... small pile of gems, maybe. It'd have to be sifted out of the rocks. Several of these 'Diamond Dogs' were idling about or patrolling... as I count them off, they earn blunt nicknames, my crosshair hovering over each of them.

Beanpole, tall and thin, holding a club. Weird hat. 
Stubby, probably three feet tall, holding a hammer.
Chunk, big and wide. No weapons, but damn his arms are huge.
Oh, that ones just drooling. Everywhere. Ew.
Alright, nicknames were getting boring. Bean, Stub, Chunk and Drool. They're just big-armed dogs with overbites and ratty clothes, and either towering over me or as tall as my knee. One thing in common though... they all had big teeth.

There were about 4 of them that I could see from here. Might be another one or two deeper in the pit, but from here, I couldn't see too far inside. There's some distant laughing and shouting; one of them is milling around with a spear. Two of them are sat around some kind of... looks like they're gambling. Hrm. Last one is napping against a rock.

They had a little camp-like setup beside the pit, with some blankets and tents, using some of the rocks, but it didn't look like there was anything valuable in there. If there was anything, it'd be down in the pit. Maybe an ore or gem vein or... something. 

I steady my breathing, the cold butt of my rifle poking into my shoulder. I shift, adjusting my scope as the crosshair comes into focus over Beanpoles head, finger resting on the trigger.





The Black-furred, doberman-esque Diamond Dog named Buddy glares down at the lazy creatures, snarling. Three prisoners. A boon! But not. Useless! Can barely dig. Little orange one, tires so quickly, can barely work! Birds; birds strong, sharp claws! But can't find any gems?!

"Bird worthless!" Buddy growls -- slamming an oversized paw into the midsection of the chained Griffon. It throws him against the wall of the pit, chains rattling. The Male Griffon groans on the ground, its chocolate plumage coated in dirt and dust, the chains shackled around its legs, neck and wings keeping it restricted.

A slightly smaller Female Griffon, with streaks of purple Plumage, gasps in worry.
"No! Grant! Leave him alone!" She squawks, trying to pull against the chains that kept her rooted to her mining-spot, secured to the ground of the pit.

Grant wobbles as he tries to right himself, but the Diamond Dogs foot presses him back to the ground, baring its teeth.
"FIND MORE GEMS!" It shouts, slobbering. The orange-furred filly flinches as it yells, huddling behind the female Griffon.

"If you won't..." Buddy's claws flex, raising as the rumble in his throat grows louder. The Male Griffon shies away, squinting.

CRACK

The four flinch at the sudden, loud sound, as it echoes off the walls of the mountain, and the pit.

Buddy glances back and forth, up towards the top of the pit. Lightning? With no clouds? Buddy squints, about to shout up to Barley, the tall Diamond Dog.

"BARLEY! WHY NOISE? WHAT--"

Barley slumps, folding over the lip of the pit before plummeting inside, crunching on the stone below. Buddy's eyes widen. He can hear confused muttering from the top of the pit, as the other Dogs rouse from their distractions. The prisoners eyes widen at the slumped body, the Female Griffon covering the orange fillies eyes.

CRACK

It happens again, the flash of sound bouncing as it drones. The Dogs up top are shouting now, and Buddy can hear the table they'd been gambling on get toppled over. From here, he can't see anything else. He glances back and forth along the top of the pit, starting to shy away--

CRACK

Monty stumbles into view, dropping on the edge of the pit, arm dangling over the side. A crimson smear slowly runs down from his body, dribbling down the side. Buddy's heart is thundering in his chest. Forget the prisoners--some creature was attacking. From the Everfree? From deeper below? This was neutral territory, they should have dibs! They should--

CRACK

A final crack -- and a final thud.

The worrying noises up top are silent. No movement. No shouts, no yips, yelps or yaps. 

Buddy's legs are shaking. 

There's a shifting sound, footsteps approaching.

His eyes widen as a glint appears at the lip of the pit.





Sliding down the edge of the cliff, bag back on my back, I pocket the spent shells. I move cautiously, quietly, keeping an ear open. Their panic worked in my favor. Beanpole was easy. Stubby, still no idea what was happening. Chunky and Drools didn't know what they were hiding from, trying to duck behind tables or rocks -- the echo in this bowl threw them off. Moment they stopped moving, lining it up was simple.

The Pit was quiet... but I could still hear something. One more, I think. I'm not going to let overconfidence turn this around --  Could be a dozen more down there for all I know, or they could chuck a rock like nobodies fucking business. Only takes one lucky throw, and I liked my head without a big fucking dent in it.

I lay down, crawling against the ground to reach the holes edge as I peer the rifle down.

Four more?

No, that's... they had those three in chains. Right. Slavers. That'll complicate keeping this quiet, but...

My eyes flicker over the prisoners. Two Griffons, I think, braced in chains. A third, a filly, hiding behind one of the Griffons--

Hang on, I know that one. That's one of the crusaders. 

That's fucking Scoots.

My crosshair falls over the last dog, and I rack the bolt.

One more.

"W-WAIT!" It shouts, throwing its arms up.

I don't.





CRACK

Grant flinches as the Dog that had been tormenting them shouts in fear--before dropping backwards against the cold stone of the pit floor. His ears are ringing from the sound, vision blurry from the beating. But he has to stand. A claw scrapes the ground, pushing himself to his feet. It hurts--but he can't let this thing hurt his sister.

He blinks hard, trying to focus. The thing -- it's skinnier and smaller than the Dogs, but it walks like them, sliding down the slope that leads to the bottom of the pit. It's holding some weird stick. Grant tries to widen his stance, watching as it approaches. If it could take out the Dog from that far, why would it--

The orange filly practically leaps into its arm, and it kneels to meet her, albeit awkwardly, holding her tight.





"MISTER MUSS!" Scootaloo practically screams in my face. I squint. Forgot the vocals this one had on her.

"Hey, Scoots. You alright? Did they hurt you?" I ask, setting my rifle down. 

"WHAT?" She shouts again. Right. Ringing ears. I close her mouth with a hand, before my ears join hers, and I use it as a moment to look her over; apparently they lacked proper chains for her size, and had just thrown one on around her barrel. Otherwise, no injuries or problems. Good. I set her down, looking to the others.

Two Griffons, watching me wearily. They look like they've been here longer than Scoot has, for sure. They're covered in dirt, and look oddly skinny. 

I sling my rifle back over my shoulder, glancing between the two of them. The larger one is trying to puff up, but I can see he's taken a good beating. He groans, eventually sinking to the ground -- the other Griffon looking to him with worry.
"Grant!" She shouts. Good to know language barrier wouldn't be an issue.

Glancing around, I pat down the deceased Dog... yeah, Keys. Plucking them from its pocket, I step towards the smaller Griffon. She stares up at me with wide eyes, trying to fluff up her own plumage -- until she sees Scoots trotting alongside me. Her feathers fall, looking at me with confusion.
"Who are you?" She asks, glancing between me and Scoots.

"HE'S--" She blinks. Ringing must've stopped. "Sorry. He's Mister Muss! He's a friend!"

The Griffon looks up to me as I dangle the keys. She turns slightly, exposing her torso--looks like the main cuff they put on Scoots, with a keyhole on the side. I kneel down, flicking through keys and testing them until there's' a click, the manacles sliding off her.

The moment she's free, she darts to the other Griffons side, holding him close. She glances to me expectantly, and I follow.

After a few moments, we've gotten the chains off of everybody. Scoots is faring pretty good. I'm trying to not let her look at the bodies, but... situations a little busy. I'm probably in for some questions on the way back.

The Griffons are Grant, and Dina. Chocolate one is Grant, Purple one is Dina. They're Griffon Traders that got caught about a week ago, had their supply taken, and got put to work by a breakaway sect of Diamond Dogs that split off from a larger group. Lucky me I didn't run into those.

Grant had been eating most of the punishments for the pair, so he was a lot worse off. Both were hungry -- I gave Scoots some of what I had brought with me. And after a... private conversation away from Scoots ears, I set about getting the Griffons something to eat. For them, I had five sources to pull from. Turns out their diet is more carnivorous than mine, and they had an even more liberal approach to what they were willing to eat. Don't know if I could do it, but the weird urgency of the situation, and the fact I already needed to make sure I wasn't leaving any spent bullets behind... carving a few strips wasn't the worst thing.

They kept Scoots distracted while I worked. I pocketed the spent shells, and had a reasonable wrapping of meat. I might get along better with Griffons then I thought; though I wouldn't be eating any of this, myself.

And, for the trouble... well, I hoped it would translate well. I spent some time digging through the Pit, with directions from Dina, I was able to fill my pack with a variety of gems, near-full. Hopefully, that should cover things, and let me start on repaying the loan Sunbutt swung my way. Help make everyone's unfortunate stay here turn out a little better.





The trek back wasn't easy. Grant had a lot of trouble walking, so I set up a makeshift sled for him. Tied my jacket to my rifle, put him on it, and dragged him. It worked a lot better when we got to the plains. Pack was full of gems, but Dina offered to help carry it since I was dragging Grant. 

Scoots explained how she ended up in the Dogs clutches. Something about a fight with Dash, leading to Scoots trying to prove herself by getting to the top of the mountains. I respect the kids gumption, and gave her a soft scolding -- I'm sure she was in for worse when we got back, so I kept it light. Kid already knew she messed up, so she didn't need me ripping into her about it. She's been sticking pretty close to me, since. She asked the obvious questions, of course. Rather than try to guide a kid into lying, I just played it overtly blunt. Told her I had some 'Human stuff that let me beat them up real good from far away'. She bought it. The look from Dina told she, however, didn't. I think Griffonia might be more warfare oriented than Equestria; they didn't mind what I did, but I knew the Ponies I knew would freak.

Good to know moving to Griffonia was always an option if I biffed things up too badly here.

With Grant mostly out of it, I spent the rest of the journey talking to Dina. They worked for a larger Merchants guild that dealt in trading exotic goods for places that couldn't often get them. For them, that meant transporting goods most Ponies didn't want. That included meat. As a thanks, she said that she'd try to put in a good word to get Ponyville as a destination on their route. When I asked why the Guild hadn't showed the save them, she told me how the journey often took multiple weeks; so it'd take that long for someone to notice they were gone. Scary stuff.


When we finally got back to Ponyville, I made sure to escort the trio to the Clinic. Scoots, just in case. I covered their fees with some of the gems, despite Dina protesting. If they could swing actual meat around here sometime, it'd be more than worth it.

Nurse Redheart looked like she wanted to talk to me about my last visit, but she had her hands full with the Griffons. 

Dash swung by real quick once word got around. She actually hugged me for helping Scoots. Still no idea if they're related, or if that filly just idolizes her. I went to leave, but noticed that Scoots looked... lonely. I talked to her about it. Apparently, her parents are explorers. Who don't visit particularly often. When I asked who she stays with... the kid started listing off a few of the different families that she rotates with, apparently having made some kind of deal with her parents, since they're never around.

Jesus Christ.

I told her she could stay at my place anytime she needed to, which had her positively beaming. The crusaders and Dinky already came over like every other day. Plus, I felt... awkwardly responsible. If I hadn't pulled my little Dog-Hunting stunt, I'm sure she would've been rescued just fine by the Elements, eventually. But exposing a kid to that kind of stuff... well, I'd have to see how it played out. She still had a few checkups with Redheart, so I headed home.

Heading up the hill, I caught Derpy trying to squeeze back out of my window--startling slightly as she caught sight of me, her wriggling put on pause. I stopped about a foot from her, the height of my window bringing us face-to-face, looking (or at least trying to) into her golden eyes. My little romp had me feeling bold.

"Hey, Derpy. You wanna get something to eat this Sunday?"
> Chapter 9 - Thoughts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm laid across my couch, staring at the ceiling. The quiet whisper of a nightly wind is muffled past my window, the blanket I'd grabbed awkwardly half-covering me, half not.

Derpy said yes, once she stopped stammering and we got her out of the window. Sunday was in two days; we were gonna meet at her place, and head somewhere for Lunch; me, her, and Dinky. Didn't mind that at all. That was good. Had me smiling.

Scoots was fine; makes me wonder what those kids see on a regular basis living here. Likes to stick closer to me, now. I'm already expecting to have her knock on my door as much as Dinky does, once she's been cleared from the Clinic -- Grant, the male Griffon, wasn't so lucky and was staying there for a bit. RedHeart said he needed some minor, non-invasive surgery to his wings. Otherwise, he'd be alright. That was also good. Dina didn't have a place to stay, and had no Bits, so I let her stay at my place. She'd been helping me figure how much the gems I picked up were worth. Considering what she and her brother just went through, I let her take my bed. She was iffy about it first, but appreciative. I can hear her snoring from my room. I don't mind that. It sounded like chirping, almost. She probably hasn't gotten good sleep since her and her brother got grabbed. That's good too.

I rub my temples, the tiredness demanding I close my eyes. I can't yet, though. My brain is abuzz, my thoughts short and rapid-fire.

Was I fucking stupid?

I couldn't find a job. My solution? Go and hunt fucking slavers? Did I even look that hard, for actual work, before I decided that?

I groan, rubbing my eyes. It took until I had time to wind down and eat something from my fridge for it all to come crawling up.

I was still dicey on the... Sapient Dog meat thing. I tried to justify it. Didnt touch any myself, but... I didn't bring enough food to feed four people, and already had to eat light just to make sure Scoots had something to eat from what I'd brought. We had several days of travel, moving slow because of Grant. It clearly wasn't their first choice, but Dina made the call. And I rolled with it. It was weird, but... the smell of cooked flesh is the same here as home. 

Dina kept looking at my teeth, especially when I said I didn't want any. Hard to hide them, with my cheek being split, but she spared me any questions. My assumption, she's wondering why I'm is hanging out with Ponies and turning down meat. 

I already had to dig through the Dogs skulls to get the bullets. I didn't want to leave any physical trace. Yet, I had three witnesses. Did I even still need to do that? I think to the fifth Dog. I already knew it could speak. It tried to surrender. But it also had three living creatures in chains, clearly beating on one of them.

I suppose I shouldn't leave anything laying around for anybody. I don't think Dina was even really bothered by what I did, and Grant was way too out of it. Judging by the claws and sharp beaks, they were a lot more meat-orientated than the Ponies.

But if I didn't pull that dumb shit, who knows how much longer they'd have been in that pit. With Scoots being there, it might not have been much longer... Dash probably would have found them. Right?

But Grant was in really rough shape. He might not have made it. But does that justify some vigilante man-dog-hunter shit? Or am I trying to lean on that to excuse it?

And finally, the reason I couldn't fall asleep. I hold my hands over my face. My trigger-finger is twitching. My mind keeps floating back to that mine pit. It keeps replaying in my head.

What if I dreamed about it?

Luna walking in on me dreaming of my old memories, that's one thing. They know my home is more violent than here. But what if I dream about the shit I pulled here? Knowing that I'm romping around with an earth-weapon, killing things because I don't want to accept any more charity. I'm not sure I'm ready for that conversation between her and Tia.

But I saved three 'people' because of it.

I didn't save shit. I took five lives, and exposed my shit plan to three, because I wanted money.

I think what bothered me the most is it was my own choice. It's not like I haven't killed before, but this time, there weren't any orders. There was no excuse. I alone ate the full blame. Five lives.

That meant I had fifteen rounds left. No-- I don't care about how many rounds--

A long groan escapes me as I tilt my head back, digging my palms into my eyes, stewing in the maelstrom of my torn feelings. As I remove them, I find Dina standing a few feet from the couch, looking at me with worried eyes. One of my blankets is still draped over her, dragging behind her.

"...Are you alright?" She asks softly. Compared to the Ponies, Griffons had this noticeable chirp to their voices.

"Yeah. Just, uh... trouble sleeping. I didn't wake you up, did I?" I ask, shifting on the couch to sit up properly. Her eye floats to my leg, face showing some confused concern as her gaze trails to my prosthetic sitting on the table.

"...It surprised me." She says softly, sitting on the floor. 
"When you first arrived, I had not heard of a weapon like that before, or seen a creature like you before. It sounded terrifying. It made more sense when you explained you were not from here. I was worried you were some... predatory mountain beast, until the little one ran to you."

She looks up to my face, tilting her head slightly.
"Why are you here?" 

The question confuses me. I lean against the side of my couch, resting my head on my arms.
"...Don't know. Woke up here, and got settled in by the Ponies." I mumble.

"Hm. No, I meant here. In a rural town of Ponies. The Cities, like Manehatten and Vanhoover are far more accepting of different species. Why Ponyville?" She continues.

"...I like nature, I guess. Not much of a city guy. Also just kind of... where I ended up, and chose to stick it out. Got a few reasons to stay." I mumble again. 

Her head tilts the other way.
"And you are happy here? You seem very... bothered. I do not see your weapon, anywhere, either." She glances around. I'd finally made a spot under the floorboards for it, under the table, where it sat with the rest of my ammunition, both spent and fresh.

"Yeah, somewhat. The Ponies..." I trail off.

"Don't like that kind of thing. I understand. It's why Griffons have a hard time settling in Equestria, especially outside of the cities." Dina informs, leaning her head to meet my gaze. "Prosthetics are not entirely uncommon in Griffonia, you know. As are battle scars."

"I do not know your situation. I do not know about where you came from, or what you've been through. But what I do know, is that my Brother, myself -- and that little orange one are alive because of you. No matter what any of them say --thank you." Dina says, before standing on her hind legs--and I find myself pulled into a hug. She'd used my shower, giving her feathers a surprising softness as her claws wrap around me, resting her head on top of mine. I could faintly smell my own soap on her.

She lets go after a few moments, claws clacking on my wooden floor as she returns to my room to sleep, wishing me goodnight. I sprawl on my back, staring at the ceiling. My breathing steadies, and my mind is more at rest, at least partially reassured. I suppose that gave me the courage to face the consequences of what I chose to do, whenever they come. Or I could run away to Griffonia. Wonder if Derpy was down to move.

Shit, man, Griffons were soft. 





Looking through my wardrobe, my eyes fall on the suit Rarity made for me. Might be a bit much. Save it for when you take her up to Canterlot, or something.

Bold assumption of me that I'd get that far. But, fuck it, I'll let myself hold that confidence.

Last night held no dreams. I wasn't sure if that was a relief, or just adding to the feeling of delaying the inevitable. Jury was still out.

"What kind of clothes does your mom like?" I shout from my room. I hear the rapid trotting of little hooves scurrying from my living room, as Dinky slides into view, stood in my bedroom doorway.

News that I was back circled around pretty quickly, thanks to everything I had in tow. This morning, Dina went to visit Grant at the Clinic; when she got back, she found my house filled with a variety of small, multi-colored Fillies. She looked confused, but I just shrugged about it. Something about one of their recent plans for a cutie-mark put their treehouse out of commission for a bit. I was starting to think I aimed too small and too cozy for a house; didn't expect this much company.

Scoots cheeky behavior was apparently enforced by the lack of a strict parental structure, so she got off from the whole deal with just a scolding by Redheart. Apple Bloom and Bell came over, wanting to hear what happened straight from Scoot. Dinky showed up, too -- my little insider more then happy to help me figure out how not to mess up this date.

Dina sat on the couch, chiming in now and then to Scoots story, and guiding it away from the messier parts. The Fillies were fascinated with a chance for a close-up look at a Griffon. I appreciated that.

Dinky stares up at me, lips pursing in thought as she taps her chin with a hoof.
"Well, Mom said she was going to try and dig out that old dress of hers. She hasn't worn anything that wasn't her Uniform in years! But, uh... she likes... I dunno. She likes a morning muffin? She doesn't talk too much about that kind of stuff." Dinky shrugs. "Sorry."

"Hey, that's all I need to hear. Thanks Dinkster." I nod, and Dinky smiles, before prancing off to the living room again.

Shit, a dress?

I flip back to the suit. Remove the coat... its a dress shirt and trouser combo. Roll the sleeves, boom. Classy casual. 

My musings of whether or not Mares might like forearms are interrupted as Dina comes into view, heading into my kitchen. She glances over, raising an eyebrow.
"One of your reasons for staying?" She asks. With food and a proper night's sleep, she's gotten more playful.

"Yeah. Going to lunch with Dink and her mom." I affirm, holding up the dress shirt. Rarity did good work. Like, really good work. This shit was soft to the touch.

"...Are none of them yours?" Dina asks, nodding to the living room currently filled with chattering fillies.

"Nope, I'm just crushing on Dinksters mom. And where one goes, the rest go. That, and they like to bug me for little wooden figures. I whittle." I explain, looking over the trousers. She even included a belt. Slick.

"Ah. I saw some of those. The orange one has several of the same, and you've a few different ones on the windowsill. An odd talent." She continues, starting to mix herself a coffee. "Want one?"

"Absolutely. Yeah, uh... keeps me busy." I nod, setting the clothes to hang again. 

Apple Bloom and Bell come sliding into view, stomping to a stop.
"You carried a Griffon th' WHOLE WAY?!" Apple Bloom exclaims.

"He dragged him, it's different." Bell retorts, glancing up to me.

"...No, totally carried him. Big strong muscles and all that." I snort. Dina rolls her eyes.

Apple Blooms eyes widen, and she runs in place, sliding on the floor before taking off back into the living room. "Y' think he could take on m' brother Mac?!" She shouts, Bell glancing between me and Dina. I give her a wink. Bell shakes her head, trotting after Bloom.

Dina looks to me, a soft expression on her face.
"If this is how you spend most of your days, I can see why you like it here. Before you 'woke up here'... were you a family ...Colt, is the word?" 

I lean on the doorframe to my room, crossing my arms. I watch the little squad of fillies play; for a moment, I've reminded of home, watching my sisters bicker and argue. 

There's a knock at the door. Trudging past the squabbling fillies, I open it.

Twilight, AppleJack and Dash are stood on my porch, holding weary expressions. They're taken slightly aback by just how packed my house is at the moment, AppleJack squinting at Apple Bloom like she just caught her sister doing something she wasn't supposed to, Apple Bloom frozen with an 'Oops' expression. 

Twilight clears her throat.
"Can we, uh... talk, Anon?"

I step aside, motioning for them to enter. I need a bigger house.
> Chapter 10 - Chatting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Myself, Twilight, Dash and AppleJack sat around the Kitchen table. Dina was keeping an eye on the Fillies for me, but I could see her glancing over from the couch several times, watching the trio with some suspicion.

I've got the coffee Dina made for me in my hands, sipping it quietly. Dash looks... like she hasn't slept a wink since she talked to me in the plains, about..  five days ago? I've never seen her look so frazzled. Really torn up about something. 

AppleJack is trying to put on a strong face, but keeps glancing at the Fillies -- and Dina, before glancing at Dash.

Twilight is staring at me, mulling something over. I recognize that look. It's usually followed by a long-winded tirade, and I had a pretty good guess about what.

"I..." Twilight starts, but trails off. A silence follows. Alright, not quite what I expected. Let's try to lead with a guess.

"...You want to be upset with me for what I did, but you're having trouble because of how it played out." I loosely field, gauging their reactions. Nothing from Dash, but AppleJack and Twilight share a glance. Think I got it.

Twilight looks to me, nodding.

"Leave it to the Elements, that kind of a thing?" I continue.

"I...I'm sorry, Anon. We--" She starts, but I cut her off with a raised hand.

"Don't be. I'm sure if I wasn't there, you guys would've gotten to them. Sorry for butting in, honestly." I state.

Twilight shakes her head. 
"We had no idea where Scootaloo went." She says quietly, looking down at the table. Rainbow Dash recoils, looking away.

AppleJack speaks up.
"We heard what y' did. How, you uh... did it. Obviously, we don't approve of how y' went about it."

I don't say anything, waiting. I could tell this wasn't your typical scolding. Dash looks like she's about to break down.

"...But, you're not a Pony. You ain't like us. You ain't... held t' what we are, an' you did it t' help. Not t' mention th' situation. Can't fault you for that, specially when... we fumbled it on our end." She continues. Not how I was expecting it to pan out.

"...Dash didn't tell you about Scoot, did she?" I ask softly. Dash recoils further, lip quivering.

AppleJack sighs, but Twilight speaks up.
"We had a... situation, with a roaming Hydra that didn't want to listen. Fluttershy is still with it, calming it down. Rarity was in Canterlot for the week, and... Dash knew we were dealing with a lot."

Applejack nods. "So she tried handlin' it herself, while helpin' us with the Hydra." She says -- there's a little bit of a sting added to that.

"So she tried to find Scoot herself, couldn't, and ran herself ragged while trying, and dealing with... a Hydra? Eesh." I finish. The awkward tension is palpable. 

I'm starting to realize this is less of a confrontation, and more like they were looking to me for some kind of answer, or some kind of discussion. Dash was beating herself up terribly about it, and both Twilight and AppleJack had some strong feelings about what they'd heard happen.

"How did the others take it?" I ask.

Twilight sighs.
"Fluttershy didn't want to hear about it. Pinkie thinks because it all worked out, we shouldn't worry about it."

"She ain't heard about it yet, but I don't think Rarity is gonna lose any sleep thinkin' 'bout it. She's had run ins with th' Diamond Dogs 'fore." AppleJack adds.

Right. So the only ones who took issue with it -- that probably didn't outright despise me now, sorry Flutters -- were sat in front of me, looking for closure. I lean back in my chair, setting the coffee down.

"I didn't do it to save anybody. I had no idea anybody was there, least of all Scoots. It was a selfish choice, that ended up helping someone out of pure chance. If you want to be upset with me for what I did, then be upset with me. That's more than fair." I start speaking, surprisingly feeling more solid about my stance on it then last night. Maybe Dina's talk helped more than I thought.

Twilight and AppleJack share a glance, but I turn to face Dash, first.
"But the kids fine, don't beat yourself up about it." I explain bluntly. 

Surprisingly, Dash speaks up.
"You aren't... upset?" She sniffles. I throw her an odd look.

"I'm not gonna be upset when I do something that upsets you all, and it's met with conversation. Where I'm from, I'd expect... a crowd, torches, and a noose." I joke, though the morbid tone doesn't quite carry. Twilight and AppleJack share another worried look.

"I thought you... didn't trust me." She whispers, looking towards Scoot. Oh. She thought I knew where Scoot was when we talked and refused to tell her -- that I have the kid over because I don't trust her with her.

I snort, getting a few confused looks. I push myself out of the chair, step over to Dash, and return the hug she gave me yesterday. She sniffles in surprise, glancing at me with confusion.

"Scoots here because she likes to bug me to carve little figures of you, and the rest of her friends follow. If you're this worried about her, clearly she's got a good role model. She's fine, now. Don't tear yourself up about it. I dunno... take her for ice cream or something. Kid adores the shit out of you." I say softly, patting her back. I move to let her go, but she's gripping my shirt, crying softly. Cold, cocky, confident exterior-- big softy on the inside.

I glance to Twilight and AppleJack. Jack seems relieved, letting out a built-up sigh. Twilight is staring at me.
"...I don't understand how you can be so kind, and still do the things you did." She mutters, as if looking for an answer on my face.

"Sounds like a conversation you should have with your Teacher, Buttspark. She and I aren't that different." I return, finally released from Dashes grasp. She sniffles rubbing her face with a Hoof--already looking a little more like her usual confident self.

Twilight looks like she wants to protest, but frowns slightly, looking at the table. She was probably about to list every physical difference between me and Tia.

Dash nudges me with a hoof, getting in first.
"Thanks. Uh... don't tell anyone?" She mutters, smiling as I nod. She flaps over to land beside Scoot in the living room, and I return to my seat, picking up my coffee.

"Can I see it?" Twilight asks firmly, glancing up. I know what she's alluding to. My rifle.

"No." I state, just as firm.

"Y-you can't just--" She starts to argue.

"I can. And I won't. Talk to your Teacher, Twi. She'll have the insight you're craving right now." I bluntly stop her. At this point, keeping it under wraps was a long forgotten idea... but, since excommunication didn't seem to be their first choice, the morally dubious nature of the situation meant that talking it out might be the best way. Staying silent about the whole thing kinda died out the moment I got prisoners, and not just gems from the trip.

I had a feeling my next letter with Tia was going to be a loaded one.

Twilight is stewing, muttering to herself under her breath. I don't think the Ponies around here deal with such... grey topics often. I get the feeling most of their problems lean towards black and white. 

"Twi... go write that letter t' th' Princess. I wanna talk with Anon." AppleJack whispers, snapping Twilight out of it. She nods, hopping down off the chair, slowly heading outside, clearly deep in her own thoughts.

I look to the last Mare still with me at the table. She stares at me. I wait.

"...Are y' gonna use it 'gain?" She asks quietly.

"That's like asking if the Princess will turn things to stone, or if you'll use the Elements on something, Jack. If I have to, I will, but it doesn't mean I want to." I explain, keeping eye contact.

"...Then what happened this time? Why?" She follows up.

I glance away, sighing. I didn't have a good answer for that one.

I feel a hoof softly press against my hand. I look back to AppleJack.

"...Just... Buck, I dunno, Anon. I wanna chew y' out, but I know you've been through things most folk in this town probably can't even think of. I know things ain't as simple as we'd like 'em to be." She glances towards the couch, locking her eyes on Apple Bloom. I know she's thinking about what she'd do, if it was Bloom in that pit instead.
"Yer' tryna find yer' place, an'... Ah trust you. I ain't know many who'd offer up their own home to a Griffon, or th' fillies as a makeshift clubhouse, for that matter." She sighs, patting my hand. 

I hold her hoof. This is why I've always been fond of AppleJack. Salt of the earth, keeping the other Mares grounded.
"Thanks, Jack."

She nods, pulling back and sinking into the chair.
"Buck, I hate havin' these talks. But, yer' always welcome at the farm. I appreciate you puttin' up with Apple Bloom."

"I don't mind it. Honestly, she's the most well behaved--no, actually, that's Bell. Second best behaved." I joke, sighing and sipping my coffee.

AppleJack chuckles weakly, sliding off the chair. 
"I best get goin'. An' thanks. For Dash. It was eatin' her up terribly."

I nod, watching her trot for the door.

"Apple Bloom -- lets git, you've got chores!" AppleJack calls, and Bloom groans loudly.
"Do I hafta?!" 
"Yep." 
"Uuuuuughbyegirlsbyemistermussbyemissdina" Bloom groans, a river of words spewing from her mouth as she slowly and dramatically trots after her sister.

Not long after, Dash and Scootaloo head out, apparently taken with that Ice-cream idea. Dash looked a lot better.

Bell glanced outside, noting that it was about noon. She squeaked out a swear (made me promise I wouldn't tell) and bolted back home for lunch.

Myself, Dina and Dink were all that's left. All that's left. Funny, it used to be just me, now my tiny house felt empty without being jam-packed. 

Dink toys with one of the figures I'd been working on, pretending to be a judge and loudly critiques my work. A little caricature of Sunbutt, scaled to match the name. Dink still hasn't asked for one, yet.

Dina is poking into some of the books I'd yet to return to Twilight, while I start working on Lunch, rifling through what I've got left in the fridge. Not much. I lean against the counter, arms crossed as I call to Dinky.
"So, Dinkster. What kind of food does your mom like?"
> Chapter 11 - Out for Dunch
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's early Sunday, and I'm supposed to meet Derpy outside her place in a few hours.

Shit, man. I was kind of nervous. 

This wasn't a date, really, so I shouldn't be. I liked Derpy. I liked her kid. We were gonna get lunch at a nice little restaurant. It's not like we were making a day of it and going to Canterlot or something...

Though we could go to the park after.

But Dinky talking about Derpy getting out her old dress... shit, was I wearing too much? Not enough? Too casual? I had the trousers, the dress shoes, the dress shirt... right, roll the sleeves.

I keep turning around in my bathroom, trying to get a better look of myself in the mirror. Checking my hair, checking my shave. You'd think shaving with my fucked-up face was difficult, but my cheek was ripped, not burnt -- lucky me, in a sense. Means if I wanted to, I could keep a moustache or a beard without it looking too patchy. 

Dina is listening to me work myself into a worry from the warm confines of my bed, having gotten more used to the odd living arrangement. She blinks a few times as I step back into view, pausing in the doorway.
"Should I get cologne?" I tense, realizing I don't have any. What cologne would she like? Wait, Twilight had told me about how smell was a pretty big thing for Ponies. That was a whole new minefield I wasn't ready for.

"...For 'Not a Date', you sure worry about making a good impression on your Mare." Dina muses, stifling a yawn as she rests her head in her clawed hands, tail hanging and flicking off the edge of the bed. She'd been listening to me stress myself out for the last fifteen minutes. "Where are you going again?"

I tsk, trying to figure how many buttons I should keep open. I've got nice collarbones, sure, but I don't want to come off too strong. Two buttons has a nice V, but comes off a little slutty. No way I'm going all the way up. One button? Yeah, one button.

Dina coughs loudly, getting my attention.
"Wuh?" I mumble.
"Where are you taking her?" She repeats, chuckling at my shift in demeanor.

"Oh, uh -- There's this nice Cafe I've passed by a few times." I offer.

"Is it that 'Cafe Hay' place I pass by to get to the Clinic?" Dina asks.

"No, not that one. No way I'm sitting on a chair made of hay with this outfit. I'm not some... Cowboy trying to get with Applejack or something." I snort.

"That's the orange Pony that was here, right?" Dina questions, tapping her beak with a claw. She's starting to stretch, likely to get up for the day.

"Yeah. AppleJack, blue one is Rainbow Dash, purple one is Twilight. Thanks for keeping an eye on the Fillies while they were here, by the way." I explain.

"Sure, you had your claws full. Which Cafe is it, then?" She hums, slipping off the bed, tossing my blankets back onto it as she begins to make it.

"Uh... honestly, I have no idea what the name is. Everyone just seems to refer to it as the Cafe with the purple milkshake sign. Even Derpy knew exactly which one I was talking about. They've got actual tables, though, so that'll be nice." I huff. Ponyville was deceptively big, but since competition wasn't really a thing, most stores having a fairly hefty monopoly, names weren't always a given. The bookstore. The bowling alley. So on.

"How's Grant doing?" I turn, finally content with my outfit. For a few minutes, until i worried about it again.

"Better. He's in recovery, should be good to leave in a day or two. Won't be able to fly for about a few weeks, so we'll probably have to take the long way back to Griffonia." She muses, claws clacking on the wooden floor as she slowly trudges into the bathroom beside me. "You done in here?"

"Shit, yeah. All yours". I mutter, stepping out. Well, about as done as I could be without stressing for another hour. A quick nod, and the door shuts behind me. 

I blow a raspberry, glancing around my quiet house, the muffled sound of the shower tapering on quietly.

Time for a coffee. 





Haven't felt this way since I was in shit... what, Highschool? Got tingles in my stomach, and I don't think it's the coffee.

Dina'd left to go for her daily check-in on Grant, wishing me luck with my date-not-a-date. Apparently Griffon mating rituals aren't as simple as Ponies. From her explanation, it sounded like the birds back home, with funny dances and offerings.

I've got a few good bits on me, now. After swinging by the bank, turns out what Spike meant was Gems are pretty interchangeable with bits. Not worth quite as much as I was hoping, but most gems went for some small variance of bits, and were accepted as a currency by the Equestrian banks. Though, not every store would just accept gems. So, bits it was. They fit better in my pocket anyway. 

Left most of them at home, tucked under the floorboards with my rifle. Had enough to last me a couple months, but it didn't really launch me as far as I was hoping. Honestly, I'm just glad it didn't pan out any worse than it did; still going to need to lock down some kind of actual job if I wanted to pay back that loan. Tia had been pretty generous about getting it back, but I wasn't cool with letting a debt like that simmer. I'd think about that later, though. Still have to see how my 'little' stunt in the mountains impacted my availability on the job market.

The stares from the locals were about the usual amount, but they seemed a little more... polarized. While I don't think what I was doing up in the Mountains was fully circling beyond Twilights group and the Crusaders just yet, it was hardly a secret that there was a Griffon coming to and from my house daily. Well, whatever. Bite me.

Trying to remain the gentleman, I'd purchased a small bouquet of flowers for Derpy. I had... no idea what she liked. The topic had never come up with Dinky, so I had no insider information this time. Flying blind. I originally leaned on the idea of roses, but that might come off as too romantic. And that was like, one of two flowers I knew about. 

Ended up settling for Daisies. Fingers crossed.

We agreed that rather than meeting at the Cafe, we'd meet at her place first so we can walk over together. Dinky was adamant we spend as much time together as possible. Cheeky thing, but it was good to know I had a wingman.


And here it is. Derpy's place.

Its close to the middle of Ponyville, more on the south side towards the train station. It's a cute place, bigger than mine. Two story, though doesn't look huge on the floorspace. It's also pretty clearly Derpy's, because everything looks like its been touched up from a bump, knock, crash or trip. The fence isn't quite straight, there's some tiles not quite angled right on the roof... a fixer-uppers dream.

I realize I've been just standing in front of her door, staring at her house and holding flowers. Right. Gotta knock.

Moment my fist is near the door, I hear a rampant scuttling of little hooves inside. Dinky probably spotted me from a window --

The door flies open, revealing a recently-brushed Dinky staring up at me. 
"I saw you from the window! Hi Mister Muss!"

Yep.

"Hey Dinkster, ready to go?" I ask, glancing up at the weather. A habit, I keep forgetting that Pegasi knock clouds around and provide a schedule for the week. There goes one now, wrangling a rogue cloud. Looks like the day is staying sunny.

"Nope! Come in!" She says, trotting out of the way. I shrug, ducking my head and stepping inside.

The inside of the house is about as cozy as the outside; clean, but clearly lived in. A lot of warmer color tones. Though, a little light on decorations. Mostly just the essentials. Couch, table, shelves; I can see the kitchen further inside, stairs that lead up... and a few patched holes in the walls, evident by the discoloration of paint. She might be clumsy, but she sure tried her best to fix up every bump she had. Honestly, I was willing to bet Derpy was probably pretty handy at this point.

I think I'm starting to realize where all the decorations went. Paintings, Vases and such don't sound particularly sturdy.

Dinky shuts the door, happily prancing over, practically radiating excitement as she hops up on the couch.
"Mom is fussing over herself still. You wanna wait with me?" She asks, before looking down at what she'd been up to prior to my arrival. She's got some paper spread out with a box of crayons.

Setting the flowers on the table, I ease into the couch. It's pony sized, so I don't lean all the way back; otherwise I'd probably flip overtop of it. Thankfully Ponies liked high ceilings, so I didn't have to duck all the time. Just doorways.

"Sure, Dinkster. What you up to?" I ask, leaning on my knees. She shows me her collection of drawings, a few... I notice are likely loosely based on whatever story Scoots told her. Well, if Dinky knew, her mom probably knew. And if Derpy knew, and she hadn't cancelled the date...

Oh, that one is me and Derpy hugging. This kids bold.

Oh, that ones us hanging out at my house. Holy shit, she drew Dina looking funny. I've got to show her that later.

"...Dinky, sweetie, have you seen my..." I hear from the stairs. Both Dinky and I turn, looking over the back of the couch.

Derpy is halfway down the steps, before she notices me sitting inside. She freezes stock still, eyes wide. Which, gives me a long moment to look at her. My eyes couldn't leave her.

Shit, man. She was gorgeous. 

She's got this almost satin-like, sleek, dark-grey dress that's a fair few shades darker than her fur, complimenting her natural color scheme. It's slit at the end, so while it covers her torso and stomach, it opens to drape down only one side of her flank. It really accentuates it, actually; for a Pegasus, she's surprisingly bottom heavy. The back has this open back-slit that leaves a gap for her wings to fit through, and reveals part of her shoulders. On her hooves, she's wearing these... 'horse' shoes, I guess -- kind of similar to what Celestia wears, but not as tall, but rounded, and in black. Definitely not metal, either. Some kind of pony shoes? 

Oh, man. She's got eyeliner on and everything, matching the hoofwear. Her hair isn't styled very different, but I can see the volume and shine she worked into it, giving it a lot more bounce and presence than usual. Who knows how long she spent on herself. Kind of glad to know I wasn't the only one stressing this morning.

"Derpy, youre..." I trail off, unable to find the words.

"Pretty, right?!" Dinky prompts, beaming.

"...I was gonna say beautiful." I mutter. 

Apparently, louder than I thought, judging by the rampant blush that streaks across Derpy's face. She glances down, throwing me a half-lidded stare from behind the edges of her mane. 

Dinky pops up from behind the couch, holding the little pack of Daisies I'd gotten with her hooves, high above her head.
"Mom! Look what Mister Muss got you!" The filly squeaks, ousting the gift.

"For me?" 
Derpy hooves tap down the steps as she nears the couch, Dinky holding them out towards her mother.

Derpy leans, giving them a generous smell, smiling. 

Then she takes a bite out of them.

... Right. Horse.

Derpy giggles, covering her chewing with a hoof. 
"Sorry -- I shouldn't ruin my appetite before we go, but, I don't get flowers often." She says, giving me an adorable smile.

Neither of us really speak, for a moment. I'm just stuck staring at her, and she's staring at me.

Dinky rips us from our mutual gaze as she bounds from the couch, looking up to me.
"Did you get ME anything?!" She squeaks.

"...One toy of your choice from any store we pass." I quickly blurt.

Dinky looks like I just promised her a thousand puppies, her eyes somehow getting bigger as a long, winding gasp builds in her throat.

Derpy giggles, giving me an appreciative look. Probably just scored points with the Mom -- but at what cost. Dinky is like a ballistic missile that lost its tracking, bounding around the room.

Derpy manages to find what she was looking for, tucked in her closet -- a little worn purse she softly slings over herself, putting a few items inside.

She glances up at me, noticing me staring -- and there's that smile again, looking at me like I made her day.

Shit, man. I was falling hard.
> Chapter 12 - Cafe Purple Shake
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things were going really good so far.

There were stares, obviously. More than the usual. I guess seeing two of the more notorious members of Ponyville -- the clumsy mailmare and the biped that went through a blender, all dolled up and walking with a bouncing Filly between them, would draw some attention. But any time Derpy noticed someone staring, she'd glance up at me. I'd offer her a smile, and she'd glance down, smiling herself. 

Since Derpy lived near the train station, we had to pass near it to get to the Cafe, and it looked like a train had just pulled in. This was confirmed when I saw Twilight in the distance, talking with a Rarity that had just returned from Canterlot. When Twilight noticed me, she tried to wave me down -- I didn't even get a chance to worry, however, as Rarity locked in on exactly what was happening. Her jaw dropping when she saw me, in part of the fancy suit she made for me, and Derpy, in a dress; she practically dragged Twilight back by the tail, preserving our date and chewing Twilight out.

Gotta thank Rarity for that later, she's a real one. Huge on romance. I don't think Derpy or Dinky noticed, but if they did, they didn't say anything.

Derpy and I softly chat about our past week, keeping a friendly small talk. She talks about some of the packages she had to deliver, and some of the stranger faces she's seem come by the Post Office. She even throws a few questions my way, but seems to lean more on an interest about the Griffon living with me, curious to how she was getting along, and how her brother was doing. She'd delivered a letter for them reporting what had happened, though a response wasn't likely coming back anytime soon.

Dinky's eyes practically pop out of her head as we pass a toy store -- she glances to her Mom for approval, to which Derpy nods, and Dinky rockets inside, leaving me and Derpy alone on the street for the moment.

"...Was it scary?" She asks suddenly, still looking at the shops front. I think.

"Was what?" I ask, unsure.

"I don't know what I'd do if Dinky was ever in a situation like that." She answers, slowly turning her gaze to look up at me.

Ah. Right.

But its an expression of... relief? And a smile?

"I heard from Dinky about what you did, for Scootaloo. Thank you for saving her friend." She says softly.

"...I didn't--" I groan, scratching the back of my neck.

"I'm relieved that... I can trust that you would make sure Dinky was safe, if something ever happened. She adores you, and I appreciate that you look after her so well." She continues, cutting me off.

She turns towards me, waving a hoof for me to kneel down. 

I oblige, wobbling down to one knee. A look of guilt pangs her face as she remembers my leg, but I shrug it off. "Pants. Everyone forgets. Hell, I do sometimes." I joke, getting a relieved giggle out of Derpy.

She leans a hoof on my good knee, pushing herself up -- and kisses me on the cheek. The injured cheek. She pretty much kisses my teeth.

And I think it was intentional.

She hangs for a second, staring into my face, taking a long breath -- before hopping back down, smiling.
"You'd better hurry in there before she finds the expensive stuff." She jokes, still with that same smile.

Mentally, its like I just got a reboot. Her lips were fucking soft, and she smelled... really nice. 

I can only nod as I push myself to my feet, ducking through the doorway.

I was a little late, in the end. Dinky had locked in on a build-your-own science type kit, with a sizable price tag to match. But, a promise was a promise. And, shit, gotta support a smart Filly. 

Didn't hurt too much that I got a kiss out of it, either. My bits bag'll live.

Derpy can't help but giggle as she sees us walk out, Dinky's sizable purchase tucked under my arm. Cafe wasn't too far, so toting it around wouldn't be that bad. Dinky was ecstatic, and as we start walking again, Derpy is humming softly.

I think its the same thing Dinky keeps humming.





For a Sunday Lunch, the place is fairly bustling.

With an indoor and an outdoor section, the Cafe boasts numerous tables with white clothes draped overtop, candles sat in the center of each table; empty tables are unlit, occupied ones are. The large, purple milkshake sign sits hanging off the second floor of the building. Yeah, I don't see a name anywhere. Shake shack it is.

There's a good variety of Ponies here, likely enjoying their off day. Not too many that I actually know, though. 

We're about third in line, waiting to be seated. Dinky's excitement is still in full bubbling swing, but a surprisingly stern glance from Derpy has kept her rooted in place, now relegated to bobbing on her hooves.

"We want indoor or patio?" I ask, floating the idea to Derpy.

"...I don't think I'd mind either. I'm just excited to see the menu." She muses, playfully tapping her hoof on her chin.

I don't think Dinky had an opinion. Only thing that Filly cared about was the box to the toy I was carrying for her.

We shuffle forward in line.

"What about you, Anon?" Derpy asks.

"Either is fine, honestly. Weather is nice." I reply, using my height to peer over the others and around the restaurant. Didn't look too busy.

"Maybe outside, so you don't have to duck your head?" Derpy playfully pokes.

"I've actually gotten pretty good about ducking, recently. Haven't needed to use the headache medicine Nurse Redheart gave me in a while." I retort, feigning pride.

"You have that stuff too? Its good, right?" Derpy smiles, opening her purse and showing me -- she had a bottle of the stuff, as well as for a few other things. That Mare kept a stacked medicine cabinet.

I think I see some Painkillers in there, too.
"What's the heaviest thing she's ever prescribed you?" 

Derpy thinks for a moment...
"Got caught in the Mail chute during a package arrival, once. Redheart had me on so much I couldn't feel my hooves." She snorts. "I don't remember the name, but I'm glad I haven't needed it again. You?"

I stifle a laugh.
"Oh, Morphine, easily." 

Derpy tilts her head, unfamiliar.

"It's like a painkiller, but hits like a train. You feel nothing. When I lost the leg, they had me swimming in the stuff. Felt like I was in a coma for two months. I don't think I actually was, but I barely remember anything until the physical therapy started." I explain. 

"Oh, my." Derpy hums, morbidly intrigued. She's about to ask something else, but the group in front of us is shuffled off towards a table inside.

We shuffle forward, now front of the line. We're met with a rather fancy looking Colt sporting a solid mustache (still funny to me how they can grow facial hair), and the front half of a tuxedo, who nods to us as we approach the greeters booth.

I can see a flicker of trepidation when he notices that its Derpy, but, he composes himself. The look he throws me is far more aloof, as if wondering why i was here, before he looks down to Dinky, who smiles so widely at him you'd think she was half piranha.

"...For three?" He finally asks.

A collective nod from the trio of us.

"...Right this way." He quickly notes, gathering up two menus, and what I assume is the kids menu, by the bright colors.

He leads us inside, myself trailing after Derpy, then Dinky. 

The place definitely has a fancier ambience, though almost no other Ponies are wearing clothes. Compared to Canterlot, clothing just isn't nearly as popular here. It's primarily accessories, or simple things to put on.

Won't hear me complain about Derpy's dress, though.

Cream walls with a darker wood lower-half, with chandeliers flickering the nice orange glow over the place. I think there's a bar near the back, actually. 

We're lead through the restaurant to the back, sat at a corner booth. My original gameplan was to just sit on the floor, but cramming into a booth...

"You, uh... wouldn't happen to have any tables open?" I float the question. Derpy glances up at me, tilting her head as I ask.

"Nope--er, unfortunately not. This is it." He quickly states.

I had a feeling it was more "This is it, for you.", intending to keep us in the corner, out of sight. Whatever.

"...Gotchya. Thanks." I grunt. 

He lays the menus out across the booths top, Dinky and Derpy slipping in on the same side.

Its gonna be awkward to cram my legs under there.

... But I could remove one leg from the equation.

The Colt server eyes slowly widen as I sit on the edge of the undersized booth, lift my trouser leg, and begin unscrewing my prosthetic. Words don't seem to find him before I'm done, and I lean my metal leg against my side of the booth, alongside Dinkys toy, before sliding in myself. A little cramped, and I might have a sore back later, but only needing to worry about one leg helped with the leg-room issue. Yeah, I can work with this.





They definitely sat us here so we'd be a lot less visible to most of the diners.

But honestly? Couldn't care less.

This places theme was a wide selection of shakes to tide you over until you got your food. Dinky got a Triple-Chocolate Coco Blast, Derpy got a Blueberry Bash, and I got a Vanilla Shake. (Sue me, Vanilla is the shit.)

We're chatting, smiling and laughing as we wait for our food. Dinky already has half her shake hoovered, while I finally get some answers about some Pony things, taking turns asking questions with Derpy while we wait for the actual meal part of our lunch.

"So, the whole flower eating thing. Is it only when it's given as a gift, or if I have like... a garden, I'm gonna find bites missing out of it from passing Ponies?" I tap the table, confused.

Derpy laughs -- an adorable, bubbly laugh -- before shaking her head.
"Only when its in a vase or a bouquet. It's considered bad manners to eat someone's garden or free-growing plants. Like... taking an Apple from Sweet Apple Acres. Okay, my turn." She explains, before tapping her chin with a hoof.

"... When did you first get into Whittling? Dinky has been telling me about the figures you've been carving, and how you offered her one; I remember seeing a few on your windowsill, from the last time I dropped a package off. Dinky's waiting until she has a really good idea to ask for." Derpy decides on, leaning both hooves on the table. 

I huff, amused. This one tickled some memories.
"My grandpa, actually. Showed me when I was young, before he passed. Never got to show him my first finished product, but he showed me the basics and tools I'd need. I've always found its a great way to pass the time; just need a little knife thats easy to carry around and a good sized stick, and you're going. Always leaned on carving animals, which translates to works that look like Ponies, apparently." 

Derpy nods, sighing wistfully.
"It was my Grandma who showed me how to sew. I'd help her work on patches and badges and... whatever little projects she was working on. Don't touch it too often anymore, unless I'm patching up my uniform or my bags."

"Really? Is that your handiwork on your saddlebags, then? I noticed you got them really on there." I ask.

"Yeah, Grandma was a stickler for making sure that once the patch was on, it wasn't going anywhere. Rubbed off on me." She smiles, glancing around the restaurant.

"Alright, I got one." I cut in, Derpy glancing back to me.

She watches me expectantly.
"Yeah?" 

"What's with Ponies and... smell? I don't think my people have nearly as sensitive noses as you do, but I heard from Twilight that smell is a pretty big things to Ponies." I say, poking at my nose.

Derpy purses her lips, glancing to Dinky -- whose cheeks are entirely sucked in as she drains the last of her Shake.

Derpy glances around, in thought.

"Its..." 
She blushes.
"Well, Ponies have really sensitive noses. We also... communicate, with smells. Like... when someone is..." She pauses, trying to think of kid friendly words with her daughter present. It seemed like a surprisingly touchy subject.
"In a relationship, the Mare will often try to make sure the Colt shares her scent, to let other Mares know he's taken. A lot of Mares -- Colts too -- are also... heavily incentivized by scent, let's say." She continues, checking to see if Dinky is paying attention. She's wiggling her straw around to try and get the last sip of her Shake, none the wiser.

"Since my eyesight isn't as good as it used to be, I'm actually a little more reliant on smell. Or, my sense of smell is... stronger." She says, quietly.

Then, her gaze slowly flicks up to me. She leans forward, reaching a hoof out and practically stares into me. I lean forward in turn, expecting her to whisper. She lays a hoof overtop of my hand, and whisper she does. Though, I wasn't ready for what.

"...I really like your scent. It's... unique." She mutters quietly.

Whoof. Alright. Roll with it, Muss. You're smooth. You've got this.

"You know, uh... and I'm sorry if this is forward, but I'm just trying to roll with the mood here, but -- I wouldn't mind if you made me smell like you. Dunno how that works, but uh, if that's a, good thing to do. For us. For Ponies. Even though I'm not one. I'd be down for it." I say back, though I start finding trouble finishing the sentence when a brilliant, beet-red blush strikes across Derpy's cheeks, nearly turning her whole face a flush red. Shit, may have swung way too wide --

Before either of us can say anything, the Server Colt coughs loudly, both of us snapping back to sitting properly in our seats, as he lays out the food between us. 

Dinky's hooves shoot up in excitement, reaching for her plate with her magic.

Derpy and I cough, letting the meal give the mood time to cool off. Might have come on a little strong, there.
> Chapter 13 - Oh Shirt
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've made snacks for Dinky before when she was hanging at my place, but this Filly was packing down Potato Wedges like nobody's fucking business.

I tried to take one as a joke, and she fucking growled at me. Derpy got a good laugh out of that, returning to her own salad. I left the little wedge-goblin alone.

It's times like these, which is basically every time I eat, that I miss meat. I could've slammed a clean BLT or something.

Instead, I've had a big surplus to how much salad I've been eating. The only reason I don't think I'm losing any weight, is because the second thing I'm eating the most of is pasta. 

I really need some variety in my diet. At least the Alfredo I got is pretty good. If a little... green.

As we're about halfway through the meal, the server returns for Milkshake refills. I have no idea how these tiny horses don't have a rampant diabetes issue, but I begrudge myself to a cheat day.

Dinky, definitely hopped up on what is likely more sugar than she gets in an entire week, excitedly reaches out for hers. Her magical grasp of her triple-chocolate milkshake is shaky (heh) at best, flinging it towards her side of the table. Derpy tries to intervene, reaching out with her hooves to catch it lest Dinky make a mess.

Unfortunately, that knocks it out of Dinky's magical grasp, and onto my shirt, spilling her chocolately-rich shake down my front. Derpy lets out a small, panicked gasp as her hooves slap to her mouth, Dinky staring with wide eyes, sobered from the sugar-rush. Even the Server freezes, still holding the other two shakes.

"... Might need to get the squirt another, probably smaller shake. Think she's had enough sugar." I joke, palming a few of the napkins, starting to scoop up the mess. Hoo, it was cold -- but, I'm not going to get upset with Derpy when I'm the one trying to... you know, date her. The local clumsy Mailmare. It's just a milkshake. I'd be a bit of an ass if I got angry at her over it.

"...Right." The Server grunts, placing the other two milkshakes down before turning back to the kitchen. "I'll get you some extra napkins."

Derpy's horrified stare continues, watching from behind her hooves. Dinky's lips are pursed, sheepishly tapping her hooves together.
"...Sorry, Mister Muss."

"No biggie." I snort, starting a used-napkin pile. This stuff had cookie crumble in it too? No wonder she was fiending for it.

"...I am so sorry, Anon." Derpy barely squeaks out. I raise an eyebrow, looking up from the mess.

"All good. Shit happens. You get any on you?" I ask, reaching out across the table, offering her a fresh napkin. 

She flinches.

"N-no, I'm a-alright." Derpy stutters, still shrunk back.

"...Are you alright, Derpy? It's just a shirt. Really, I don't mind." I ask, pausing my self-cleaning out of a rising concern. 

Derpy's gaze flicks to me. She's reading my face, gauging my reaction.

I slowly put my hand halfway across the table, palm up, giving her a soft smile.

Tentatively, she places her hoof in my hand, exhaling as tension releases her body.

"A-Are you sure? I ruined your...because I'm so..." She asks quietly.

"I know what I'm signing up for, Derpy. You know I don't mind; hell, more than half of our interactions came about because you're you. I'm never going to mind that." I reassure, gently squeezing her hoof. "Plus your kid's just too damn cute. You too, actually. I can't stay mad at either of you."

That gets a smile back on Dinky's face, and a deep blush on Derpy's face as she holds my hand tighter. 

"...Dinky, can you get Anon some more napkins? The Server is taking a while." Derpy asks quietly. Dinky salutes, slipping past her mom as she darts for the... yeah, she's a smart kid, she'll figure it out. I look at Derpy expectantly -- she's gripping my hand pretty tight now. She speaks up again, her tone different now that we're "Alone" for the moment.

"Anon. What you said earlier... did you mean it?" She asks, staring at me.

"...About the shirt, or before that?" I ask, not quite sure where she was going with this.

"About my scent." Derpy affirms. Oh, shit. That.

"Oh, uh... I mean, yeah? Yeah. Yeah? I might have... said something that came across a little strong, between our... you know, species, but... I like you, yeah. I don't know if there's like... a term, for dating here. Do you guys do... boyfriend-girlfriend stuff?" I ramble -- I wasn't trying to backpedal, but I had the feeling I had said something a lot heavier than I meant in the moment. Still, I kept to what I said.

Derpy giggles, smiling -- then sighing.
"...Coltfriend. Marefriend. I... you know Dinky is my priority, right? That Filly is my everything. She's so smart, so clever -- I want her to have everything I couldn't have, and so I... work. A lot. We wouldn't get a lot of time together, not like you would with another Marefriend."

"Of course Dinky's your priority. She should be. And I'm not here taking you two to lunch because I want another Girl--er, Marefriend, you know? She's a sweet kid -- and you're one hell of a sweet mare. I can work around your schedule." I reply, rubbing my thumb over her hoof.

"It wouldn't be a... normal, relationship." She says weakly.

"I mean, yeah, duh. Look at me." I snort.

"Not like that -- I mean... my situation is complicated." She trails off.

"Derpy, my idea of a good Sunday date night is as much this, as it is making pancakes for you and Dinky, and just relaxing all day. Seriously. I'm not asking you to take on more stress -- I'm asking you to let me help you get rid of some of it." I whisper, leaning closer.

"...But why?" She whispers back.

"I think some adorable bubble-butt went and stole my heart when she crash landed on my couch. Dunno, still looking into that one." I grin, giving her hoof a playful squeeze.

I feel relief as a giggle escapes her. She sighs, smiling and nodding.
"...Okay Anon. I trust you."

"ME TOO!" Dinky boasts, slapping napkins on the table, startling us both. "Took you long enough, Mister Muss!"

Derpy and I share a look -- and can't help but laugh. This fucking Filly, man.

We eventually get back to finishing our meals, once I managed to get most of the shake off of myself. The shirt was heftily stained, but whatever. A shirt didn't matter now, the way Derpy kept looking at me.

Something about the way she flinched doesn't sit well with me, though. That sits in the back of my mind for a while.





Prices were actually pretty good. Might end up going back there again. Kind of liked the back-of-the-room booth. Let me be a little cuter with Derpy while we were out.

Speaking of Derpy... after our conversation, I'm starting to realize the weight of the whole scent thing.

She had carefully navigated to my right side, and was walking close enough to me that she physically bumped, nudged rubbed against leg and hips several, several times. And I think each one was entirely intentional. And not that I was looking or anything, but I think her flank had a little more sway to it. Was this part of the... scent claiming thing? She'd literally rub her smell off on me? 

...I could work with that.

I've got Dinky's science-box-supreme toy tucked under one arm; despite the proximity, Derpy is still keeping a stout watch on Dinky as she hops around, working off the sugar-rush. It frees me up to keep glancing down at Derpy, now that she's this close. 

"...I know I said I'm down to take it easy on Sundays, but I hope this dress comes out to play now and then." I whisper down to her.

She glances up to me, giving me a playful huff.

"Dinky told me about how your people have a thing about always wearing clothes, right? Do we have visits to the Boutique in the future?" She teases, butting my hip with her flank.

"...Yeah, probably. Your fault for making it look so good." I return -- resting my free hand on her withers in a tentative but bold maneuver.

She hums softly in response, resuming her watch of Dinky.

"...This was really nice, Anon. Dinky and I... don't get out much, besides her birthdays." She says, the warmth in her voice clear.

"It doesn't have to end just yet, you know. Could keep doing stuff until the Dinkster crashes off her sugar high. Hit the park, or swing by my place." I offer.

She glances up, giving me a 'Really?' look.

I grin. "Not like that."

Her tail flicks, slapping my thigh. "I know; apparently your House is the second most exciting place in Ponyville, runner up to whatever the Elements get up to. No, Dink'll keep riding that excitement until we stop. Best to get her home; she's got some homework, and I've got some chores to do around the house to prepare for next week."

I nod, understanding.

We walk in silence for a few more minutes, Dinky pausing by the plaza fountain to stare into it. 

"When I said my situation was... complicated." Derpy starts suddenly, though the strain in her voice is clear. I pat her back gently.

"You can tell me whenever you want to, if you want to, Derpy. I'm not going to pry, and you don't have to force yourself." I assure her.

"...Are you sure?" She asks. It's clearly a difficult topic for her.

"I'm sure. I'm not going anywhere." I promise.

"Thank you. I will tell you, but..." Derpy trails.

"I get it. Need to find the words. Right place, right time." I add.

"...Something tells me you're used to Mares with baggage." She teases, giving me a look.

I snort. "Baggage, sure. Got plenty of my own. Mares? Not a clue. I'm just some weirdo who likes to hang out in the woods, carving sticks." 

She smiles, leaning into me as we walk. She's gentle about it, more going for the contact then actually pushing against me. Derpy has been surprisingly considerate towards my injuries; my face tingling slightly when I remember her kiss. 

I don't get too long to swim in my slowly growing improper thoughts, as Derpy's house comes into view.

I wave Dinkster down to hand her the toy back as we reach the front door. Before she grabs it, she latches to my leg, giving it a squeeze.
"Thank you Mister Muss! That was fun! Can we go again?" She squeaks, staring up at me with, big, wobbly, deviously adorable eyes. Though funny enough, it's not that little munchkins face that wins me over. Its the half-smile and side eye that Derpy gives me as Dinky says the words.

"Of course, Dinkster. I'll even bring an extra shirt." I tease, ruffling her mane. She puffs her cheeks out, but trots inside with the toy floating behind her, glowing with her magic.

As I turn to Derpy, I hear a light flapping -- she's taken off, hovering close, bringing her face to face with me. Before I can say anything, her Hooves gently cup my face, and her lips meet mine. For a surprisingly long time. At one point, I just reach out and hold her, cupping underneath her flank and supporting her back. I'm extra careful not to let her dress touch the chocolately stain on the front of my shirt, but I'd been right about the satin-like material, soft against the back of my hand as it drapes downward.

Her wings furl in as she nestles into my arms, hooves softly gripping my shirt collar as she presses the kiss in deeper, plush lips tracing over mine. I have no idea how long we stood there for, but it only stops when I feel like we're out of breath. My heart is thudding loudly in my throat, and we're both blushing fiercely.

She pulls back, making a single, exaggerated huff.
"...Thank you, Anon. For everything." 

"...I think that kiss was plenty thanks, Derpy." I whisper back, resting my nose against the tip of her snout. I feel her slowly breath in, taking in my scent.

"...I'll see you around, yeah?" She whispers back, watching my eyes.

"Of course. My door -- or window, your choice, is always open." I chuckle, watching that adorable smile take her face.

"Same to you. Though... I'd probably stick to the door if I were you. I don't think you have my practiced grace when it comes to open windows." She jokes, pawing me softly with a hoof. Leaning, I gently set her back down, Derpy trotting in a circle as she settles. 

She gives me a parting smile, the door softly shutting behind her.

The walk home is a blissful blur. My heart doesn't calm down until I realize I've been sat on my couch so long that Dina walks in, shutting the door behind her.

She pauses, giving me a curious look-over, especially the stain on my shirt.

She doesn't say anything yet, but steps closer, sniffing me.

"...Went that well, huh?" She chuckles.
> Chapter 14 - Get a Job
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

That scent thing was a way bigger deal than I had originally figured.

It's Wednesday, now. Two days since my date with Derpy.

She visits me every day, or tries to. When her mail route takes her around my area, she'll swing by my house to check if I'm home. We make a little small talk, catch up, slip in a little flirting, and I get a big hug where she nuzzles me before she flies off. I think she's doing better; Dinky tells me she's been in a great mood, and hasn't been bumping into things as much.

I'd started poking around town, trying to figure out some job opportunities. Still trying to avoid the Spa, I'd been running through my options again. There was a good amount of stores... but the question was where I'd wanna work. Maybe shifting cargo on and off the train, though I'm competing with magic and sturdy earth ponies. The Hay Burger? I'm not considering fry cook unless I have to.

I was deep in my thoughts even as I swung by the Acres to say hey to Applejack -- and she gave me a really knowing look within like, two seconds. Asked me who the lucky Mare is. 

The stares around town are a little different, too. Sure, some of them are the same, glaring at me for being a weirdo that stuck around, but I guess smelling like one of them is more... Pony-izing their view of me? I'm starting to get glances more than I'm getting stares. Its weird.

Twilight tracked me down, wanting to talk.

She'd been writing the Princess (Shit, reminds me I have to respond to Tia's last letter), talking about empathy and how things could be a lot more complex then good or just bad, especially for creatures that weren't Ponies. I guess part of that conversation, was Tia asked Twilight to try and talk to the Griffons that were staying in town. So, Twilight came over.

Dina and Twilight sat down, and had a good few hours talk, after I introduced them. It started off as Polite small talk, but soon they were talking about both of their homes, how they were raised, how they viewed things; and finally, how Dina felt about the Diamond Dog incident. 

Twilight hugged me after, apologizing. She still doesn't approve, but she wanted me to know she's not upset, as long as I'm not making it the norm. The picking a fight part, not the rescue part. I'm glad we got back to a friendlier basis.

Speaking of friendly, I'm stood outside Rarity's boutique. One, I owe her for stopping Twilight during my date. Wasnt ready for the conversation I had with Twily to happen then. Two, she's just been all around solid, and I haven't had a chance to catch up with her.

I've got a little pot of coffee I brought from home, and a little thing of cream-filled donuts. Thankful offerings.

I knock on the door a few times, waiting.

Three, and this was the bold idea. I was gonna see if Rarity was hiring.

I'm like, one of two things in town with hands. I don't really know how to sew or make clothes, but I think I can pick up on that pretty quick. My fashion sense might be... lacking, but I'm not looking for a spot as a fashion advisor, after all.

The door swings inward, her curly purple mane twisting as Rarity appears, subtly clearing her throat.
"Why, yes -- Welcome to Rarity's Boutique, how can i--" 

She pauses, sniffing the air several times.

Her gaze slowly makes its way up to my face.

A very, very wide grin takes her face, followed by an excited giggle -- and I find my shirt promptly grabbed by a ball of blue magic.
"You SLY DOG, YOU! You and Derpy?! You MUST get in here and TELL. ME. EVERYTHING!" 

I wasn't given a chance to respond as I'm yanked inside, the door slamming shut behind me.





Rarity's boutique is a comfortable place -- I was practically dragged to the lounge section where she has some nice, cushioned furniture and a little table. She's rummaging through her kitchen to make us some tea; Rarity prefers to save coffee for long nights. I've set my stuff down on the table, nibbling a donut and looking over her in-progress works. Apparently she'd gotten a good few orders in her time at Canterlot, having gotten to show off one of her recent designs in person, and was in the preparation / planning phase for several new dresses.

Couldn't get much more out of her though. Mostly because she wanted to hear how my date went.

Rarity is a fiend for two things; Romance, and Gossip.

A cup of tea is gingerly placed in front of me -- before Rarity rockets into the lounge chair beside me, staring at me with excited eyes.
"You've kept me waiting long enough! Spill it, Darling -- I want every. Juicy. Detail." She demands, already on the edge of the seat she just landed on. 

I cough, nodding as I sip the tea. Hey, this one wasn't too bad.
"Uh, sure. How'd you know it was a date, anyway?"

A futile question.

"Darling. You were wearing part -- I'll forgive you for not wearing the full thing, the full suit would have been a little strong, and the forearms was a good maneuver -- of my suit. That's flag one. But to see Derpy. In a Dress?! Darling, that Mare wears nothing but boring brown Mail-Uniforms and that eyesore of a saddle-bag--"

"Hang on, she takes really good care of that saddle bag. Her Grandma showed her how to sew, and stuff." I cut in.

I felt like I was just guided into a trap, as Rarity giggles to herself.
"Look at you! Already defensive in her honor! Sorry, Darling -- had to try poking, I just had to know. Now, I already know your date went well, Darling -- as does half the town, I'm sure, but what happened?"

"...Why would half the town know?" I trail.

"Dear. Anon. You reek of a very particular grey-toned blonde-highlighted Mare. It's like an announcement to any other Mare that stands near you that you're a taken Colt. In the best possible way, of course." She grins, leaning on a hoof.

"Ah. Right. I may have... stepped in a little strongly with the scent thing." I muse, scratching the back of my head.

"...Do tell." Rarity purrs, bubbling in anticipation.





Rarity is face-down on her lounger chair, slamming the pillow with a hoof. Her face whips up, staring at me before breaking out into a giggling fit.
"Darling. Darling, dearest Anon -- YOU SAID THAT TO A MARE?!"

I'm rubbing my temple with my fingers, groaning.
"Yeah, well -- it worked out, didn't it?"

She reels back, rolling onto her side.
"Anon, you truly don't know what you said to the poor thing, in front of her daughter, in the middle of a restaurant?"

I shrug.
"No, but please, clue me in."

Rarity leans close, her voice dropping to a husky whisper.
"Darling... you basically said you'd be willing to take her on that table, right then and there. The best way for a Mare to share her scent is through Intimacy. Really, Anon -- I never pinned you for such the brash, bold type! Quite the little voyeur, aren't you?" She teases, breaking into another laughing fit as I hold my head in my hands.

Smooth, me. 
"...Hey Derpy, I like you. Let's fuck on this table so I smell like you, so everyone else knows too." I snort.

Rarity slaps my arm with a hoof, staring at me.
"Language, Dear."

It's only a short moment of silence before two of us are laughing, wheezing at the absurdity.

Rarity finally finds her breath, shaking her head. She pats my hand with a hoof, looking at me eagerly.
"So? Right then and there? Under the table? Or did you slip off to the bathrooms for a most promiscuous trot?"

I snort loudly, remembering the types of books Rarity reads.
"No, no. So after..."





We've probably been laughing for a good two hours, Rarity letting out a long, content sigh.
"Oh, I do so enjoy having someone to gossip with again. Canterlots gossip is so... demeaning, and none of the girls are quite so fond of the local tea as you or I, Darling. Well, I am truly happy for you both; and she certainly seems ecstatic. I haven't seen her deliver my packet with such vigor before." 

Rarity slowly rises from her chair, stretching.
"Goodness. I suppose I'd best get started on my orders -- and don't trouble yourself about the shirt. A Colts dressage is but a bulwark to his path to woo his Mare; I expect I should make sure anything else I make for you should be made quite easy to wash." She teases, gathering the empty teacups in her magic.

"Thanks, Rares. Actually, uh... odd question for you, if you don't mind." I ask, rising to help clean up.

"And what might that be, darling? A new outfit for yourself for your next date? Ooh -- perhaps you'd like me to look over Derpy's dress, touch it up? Its a bit of an older style, but she certainly wore it well; though I think we could both agree a little more flank wouldn't hurt." Rarity fields, as we walk through the boutique to the kitchen. I notice the little carving I'd made for Bell sitting on the edge of her workspace, propped up on a book.

"No, uh... you just got a bunch of orders in, right?" I ask.

"Correct. Several of the Nobility were smitten with my works -- as they should be. I've got a Wedding, a Party, a Ball, another party..." She trails off, counting the amount of functions she has to design, dress and fit for, tapping her chin with a hoof.
"Quite the load, but I should be able to handle it on time. I do foresee some late nights, though."

"I was, uh... my questions about that, kind of. Are you... hiring?" I ask, tensing.

Rarity freezes, a slow, stern face slowly looking up to me.
"Are you serious, Darling?"

"Uh, yeah. Actually, I am. I've got... hands, so." I say, providing an unamused jazzhand. "And while I don't know fashion or sewing clothes, per se, I'm not unfamiliar with a needle and thread."

The humorous air we'd been enraptured in is completely gone, Rarity having turned to silently face me.

I feel a bead of sweat run down my back.
"I'm, uh... tall. Comparatively. Strong. Won't complain. Yknow, uh..."

"Would your pre-existing conditions affect your ability to work or show up on a timely manner?" Rarity suddenly speaks up. Her tone is quippy, short and expectant. "Do you have an issue with travel? Are you patient, willing to work long, variable hours? Perform any tasks required of you, no matter their nature? And I would require someone to advocate on your behalf, of course." 

I clear my throat.
"Might ask to sit down now and then, otherwise no issues. Travel is fine, and I can wait as long as you need, or do whatever you ask. I try to spend Sundays with Derpy, and I've got a Monthly check-in with Nurse Redheart, but no other obligations." I start responding, falling into the rapid-fire pace. Oh, shit, advocate -- uhh...

I feel a big sigh of relief leave me when I see Rarity crack a smile, tapping her chin with a hoof.
"Well, I do know one particular Filly who just so happens to have advocated in your favor quite highly before..." She trails off, glancing obviously to the little wooden carving of herself. Bell?

"I run a tight ship, darling; but I've a feeling that's something you're familiar with. And to be honest... I may have overbooked. A lot more than I had been letting on. Severely. I was actually stressing over it before you came." Rarity sighs, grinning.
"While I might not let you lead the design portion -- no offense, but your sense of fashion is abhorrently outdated, dear -- Spike has always been most helpful with those claws of his -- and I've a good guess what you can get up to with those hands. You've said you're familiar with a needle?"

"Yeah, uh. Stitching. Sometimes when I'd... hike. I'd get cuts or scratches. Easier to stitch them myself than visit the doctor, back where I'm from." I explain, trying to avoid the topic of hunting or getting too messy about it.

"I see. An... interesting origin for your skills, but they may translate well. How still are your hands?" She continues, gesturing for my limb. I hold my right hand out -- stock-still, though my index finger twitches.

"Hm. Very good, Darling; though thankfully, we use sewing machines around here. Familiar?" She teases, nodding to her workstation.

"Uh... not in the slightest." I admit.

"Very well; we'll see just how quick you learn. I do believe it would be a pleasure to have you under my employ, Darling; but do remember you'll be representing Rarities Boutique from here on out." She says, smiling. A little too deviously.

"...Which means?" I ask, cautiously. 

"You'll see, when you see your Uniform. Swing by tomorrow; now that I know I'm to have help, I'll spend today working out the designs, so we can tackle the creative start early. 7 AM, Darling? Oh, and we'll discuss pay, of course, but you shan't worry. This is a lucrative line of work, though quite demanding." She grins.

I kneel down, pulling her into a hug. She makes a startled noise, starting to complain about watching her mane -- but sighs, and returns the hug.
"Thanks, Rares. I appreciate it a lot."

She lets go, throwing me a raised brow.
"Then let's see you prove it tomorrow, Darling. Bright and early!" 

We say our goodbyes, and I head outside while Rarity gets to work at her station, sketching out the designs based off the requests.

I fist pump the moment the door closes. I don't give a shit that its making dresses, man -- I got a fucking job!

I pause, as I see Dina and a freshly-released Grant staring at me with confusion, on their way to my place from the Clinic.

"...Two-timing, huh? Cold, Anon." Dina jokes, bumping Grants side. He winces. 





"Oh, finally got a job? You were sweating about that for a while. Hey, congrats." Dina says warmly, patting me on the shoulder. 

Dina, Myself and Grant are sat at my kitchen table. Grant is looking a lot better, a good hue of color returning to his chocolate plumage.

"Yeah, thanks. Rares is a good friend, so I'm excited." I agree.

Grant is quiet, but finally turns to me.
"Thank you. For helping us. We'll be leaving soon, to head back to Griffonia." 

"Hey, of course. Sorry we didn't get much of a chance to talk, things kept pretty busy. You guys got uh... money, for travel?" I ask.

Both fall oddly quiet. I tsk loudly.
"Well, I had a good day, so you should too." 

I push out of my seat, the two birds watching me with confusion, glancing between each other. I kneel down in the living room, prying open my stash floorboard.

In a few moments, I've got a spare cloth bag, filled with about half the bits that I'd exchanged the gems I'd found for; I drop it on the table between them, the bag making a solid thud. Dinas eyes widen, while Grant crosses his claws, shaking his head.
"No. No way, we can't--"

"I got a job. I'm gonna be alright. Plus, I'm pretty sure you guys are the ones that actually dug the things up, so... I'd suggest you take that, before my crippling guilt gets a better grasp of me, and I try to give you more." I joke, smiling.

"You've already hosted Dina, and paid for my hospital bills. I can't accept this." Grant refuses again. I think Grant is like me -- he doesn't like pity. I get that.

"Alright, how about this -- it's an... investment, from an interested buyer. You guys said you'd look into getting Ponyville on your guys trade route, right? Here's my donation to make that happen. Don't let the Ponies know -- but fuck, I miss meat." I offer, pushing the sack towards them.

Dina glances at Grant, giving him a reassuring look. Grant sighs, looking between Dina, and the money.
"...Alright. I owe you for this, Anon." 

"If you want to, man; but if ever you're in the area, come say hi, yeah?" I offer, outstretching my hand. Grant chuffs, taking mine in his claw and giving it a firm shake.

I go to offer one to Dina, but I get a hug instead. These birds are soft, man. I chuckle, returning it.
"Take care of yourself, Anon. Remember, if you ever swing by Griffonia, ask around for us. We'd gladly host you." Dina says, before letting me go.

We spent the rest of the night making small talk, until a particularly grey flank came flying through my window, landing on my couch with surprising grace. She's a little startled at the company, having just gotten used to flying in on one Griffon, but joins in well enough, nuzzling in beside me.
> Chapter 15 - Checkup
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I've heard about what you did, Mister Muss." Redheart starts, our session seemingly already going poorly.

Nurse Redhearts office is about as comfortable as it ever is. I'm sat across from her, in for my... well, it's not monthly anymore. Redheart had bumped me up to Bi-Weekly now, as informed by letter. Every other Monday. I'd let Rarity know that I'd need a few more hours during Lunch to handle the appointments, and she was good with it. 

So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, one week having passed since I got my first Equestrian job.

"...But, we'll get to that. First, I want to check on you." She shuffles some papers, producing a document with some blank entries, and grabs a quill.

I raise an eyebrow, curious. "Fire away." I nod. 

She clears her throat, checking another paper, then looks back to me.
"Alright, Mister Muss. How have you been doing since our prior check-in? You've been busy; stressed at all? Overwhelmed? Worried? Angry? Frustrated?" She lists off, gauging my reaction.

I scratch my nose, letting my eyes wander over the wall as I try to piece together the words. Huh, never noticed she had travel cards posted back there before. Didn't seem the type.

"It's been good, actually. Really good. Figured a lot of things out, made a lot of good steps." I manage, keeping it light.

"And I remember that you were looking for a job. Still trying the Everfree?" She asks, though her tone twists slightly at the end, like she's about to scold me.

"No, actually. I got a job at Rarity's Boutique, been doing that the last week or so." I shake my head. "I'm sure I could have made the Everfree thing work, but... honestly, as much as I love romping through nature, doing it to try and bargain off what I find didn't feel right." 

Redheart looks surprised, but tempers herself. "What do you mean? You've mentioned you were a Hunter back on your world, correct?"

"Sure, but that was self-sustainment. I'd hunt what I need, pick what I need, and supplement my savings that way. Trying to sell things to people? My paycheck decided by how well I can bargain? I dunno, Redheart. Just didn't feel right." I continue.

"And is that why you were so iffy about when you brought in those herbs?" She asks, leaning forward. Figured she'd go there this time.

I sigh, nodding. "Yeah, pretty much. Guess I had an idealized version of it in my head, and when I was trying to put it into action... irked me faster than I thought."

"But you work at... Rarity's Boutique now?" She tilts her head, not quite believing it.

"Yep. Job with plenty of sitting, good work for someone with hands -- long hours I can just zone out to, and Rarity is a good boss." I explain, my thoughts drifting to the first week. "It'd gone well. As in I didn't fuck up any of her dresses. It was a learn-on-the-job type deal, so I mostly did the busywork like holding the pins, fetching what she needs, holding what she needs, so on. This week, she said she'd try and teach me the sewing machine." 

"You're an odd one, Mister Muss. Compared to your previous endeavors, you don't find this... demeaning, to your sense of self worth?" Redheart asks, getting a surprised look out of me. "You've struck me as a prideful man, who sticks to his methods. I'm happy for you -- but it isn't forced, is it?"

Probably asking more out of concern for Rarity than me, I huff to myself. "It's... honestly, not really. Rarity is a good friend, and I think it's something about... getting to watch her work, you know?" I start trying to explain, gesticulating with my hands as I search for the words.

"She's quite the personality. But... she's so fucking passionate about her craft. Like, I know you guys have butt marks--"

"Cutie Marks" Redheart corrects firmly.

"--Yeah, those -- that tell you what you're going to do in life. Or like, be proficient in, or have a bias for or whatever." I trail off, leaning on my knees as I get into it.

Redheart nods. "And...?"

"I've seen Ponies work their jobs. Their careers, their talents. Rarity? I don't know how three gems translates to what she does, but... workaholic isn't even the right word. It's like she was made for that shop. Made to push fashion onto the world. The zone that she slips into when she's working... it's really fucking demanding work, actually. She's pushing ideas, measurements, fashion trends, cost to material..." I list off, tapping my fingers as I talk about each.

Redheart leans back, a small look of surprise on her face. Not for very long, as it's soon replaced by her usual glare.
"That is... surprising, Mister Muss. And I'm equally surprised you've taken it in so heartily in the week that you've been there."

"Yeah. She still doesn't let me do the designing -- probably never will, but that's alright." I joke, though I'm the only one that laughs.

"And this is enough for you? This... sates you?" Redheart prods.

I'm starting to get a little tired of beating around the bush like this.
"If you're asking if I plan to go brain any more dogs in the mountains, no, Redheart, I don't." I answer bluntly.

The answer doesn't even surprise her, she just watches my face. Gauging my expression. Probably trying to figure if I'm violent about my feelings around it. Honestly, she's more casual than that normally. It doesn't... irk me, but it gets me wondering. 

By this point, I'm jostling my bum leg to keep myself entertained, eyes still wandering the room.

Redheart finally breaks the pause.
"I'm sure you've talked to numerous individuals about what happened. And I'm sure that their reaction to it has been... varied."

"Sure has." I agree.

"I've talked to several of those individuals too, Anon. And not a single one was able to tell me how you bested five Diamond Dogs in your condition... I don't want to cushion this conversation with the individuals that you saved, Anon." Redheart sighs, putting the quill down.

"Don't, then. I mean, I'm sure you talked with them plenty enough." I agree. There's probably two versions of the story going around, both in circulation of the same groups. General Ponyville populace just knows that I found some people in the mountains. The Fillies keep spreading the idea that I saved them, like it was my intention. Dina, Grant, Twi, AJ, Dash -- they all know I didn't go up there to save people. A hard conversation about what is and is not acceptable in Equestria is muddled by the fact that it ended with creatures being saved. What I am surprised by though, is that they've kept my Rifle pretty tight-lipped. 

"I get it, Redheart. I do. You want to make sure I'm not going to do anything violent like that again, or turn it into a habit. For that reason as well... I'm not going to explain how I did it." I say while shaking my head.

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" She asks, like she's pleading with me.

"For reasons that I don't have anymore. For a mindset that I lost. I didn't know what I was doing before, so I was trying to apply what I knew. I figured things out. I don't need to rely on how I used to do things anymore. I'm moving forward." I continue -- it feels almost like I'm explaining this to myself as much as I am her. That's what I was doing, right?

"I've got a good job. Talked to Twilight and her friends about it, we're on good terms, and Twilight had a good talk with Tia about it -- shit, I keep forgetting to write Tia. Dinky and her friends keep coming over -- Dina was staying with me too, but once Grant got cleared, they caught the morning train. I dunno, Redheart. I've got more stuff going on than I ever had, and it's... nice." I shrug, leaning back.

My eyes keep lingering on a shadow beside the cabinet. I could swear it was shifting around. Makes me wonder what's reflecting or flickering in here that's making it happen.

Redheart follows my gaze, looking at me with a confused look. I look back to her, and shrug again.
"...Dinky? And her friends? The Fillies that make up the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' just... go and hang out at your house?" 

"Yeah, sometimes. Not always all of them. Scoots' been coming over more often since I offered to let her crash any time, when I learned what her living situation is like. That one's kinda fucked, huh?" I snort. Redheart, to her credit, holds her composure for a moment... but purses her lips, nodding.
"Dinky used to come over every day after school, ever since that thing with Derpy I first told you about. Now she's either playing with her friends, hanging with me, or hanging with Sweetie Belle while I work with Rarity." I remember talking with Rarity about if Sweetie Belle's name had an E on the end or not. Took like an hour.

"...Didn't take you for the foster-father type, Anon, if I'm being honest." She muses, humming softly in surprise. "And Derpy is alright with this?"

"I mean, yeah, of course. Swings by on her mail-route to check up on her, check up on me -- we chat, talk about our Sunday plans, that kind of thing." I reminisce. "Yesterday was really nice, actually. Made good on that Pancake breakfast take-it-easy day idea I told her about. Came over in the morning, made them breakfast, and we just took it easy. Went with her for the few errands she had for the day, all the good stuff." 

Redheart seems utterly confused as she listens to me, leaning both hooves on her desk as she listens.
"I... see? That's a very... peculiar relationship to have with a Mare, Anon. I would have thought our similar enough cultures might have hinted at that for you. When I told you about giving her a chance..." She trails off as I start to laugh.

I slap my forehead, laughing. "Oh, fuck! I entirely forgot to tell you! Derpy and I are dating. Shit, yeah, bet that sounded weird -- wait, did you not like... smell it?" I ask, now confused.

Redheart gives me a wide-eyed stare.

"Oh, shit, not like that -- we haven't, done anything like that. I keep hearing that scent is a big thing, so she's been, like..." I mutter, watching as Redheart starts scribbling something down.

"Well, for one, Anon, I don't have a sense of smell. That's personal information I'm only imparting to you because of the unique situation you find yourself in. I don't want to hear it repeated." She pauses scribbling, holding her head in a hoof. I nod. Wonder if that explains why she's such a workaholic. Was sense of smell related to like... interest in sexual things?

"...When I said give her a chance, Anon -- Sweet Celestia, I was trying to make sure you'd be nice to her in regards to when she crashed through your window. I can't -- you asked her out?" Redheart asks, now just genuinely curious.

"Yeah. After that whole meeting thing, we kept bumping into each other. We'd stop, chat, I'd help her out if she was in a bind. Got to a point where Dinky was basically relaying our feelings between each of us. So, we talked it out, figured our situations, what would work for us both. The prior Sunday -- not the one we did Pancakes, but before that -- we went out to the purple-shake Cafe for lunch. She's happy, Dinky's happy, I'm happy." I shrug, smiling.

"...Has she told you about Dinky's Father?" Redheart asks dryly. The bluntness of the question surprises me from thinking about my favorite bubble-butt mare.

"We talked about talking about it, but I've told her to wait until she feels more comfortable bringing it up." I explain.

"...Anon, Dinky's father..." Redheart goes to start. I raise a finger to my lips, shaking my head. She looks at me, confused.

"Patient Confidentiality, Redheart. I appreciate you trying to let me know things, but this one isn't one of them. There's only one Mare, and one Filly, that I'm willing to hear about him from." I cut her off, before lowering my hand.

She frowns at having her own little motto thrown back at her. "Really? You don't... care?" She asks, incredulous.

"Of course I care. I care about Derpy, I care about Dinky -- I care about what makes them happy, or what upsets them. That's why I'm not going to pry. If you mean, do I care about not being the first guy in her life? Not really; I want to be the best guy in her life. The one she feels safe with, the one she feels she can ask any question to. And that goes for Dinky, too. They're both... brilliant. Wonderful." I say; it's hard to keep the smile off my face, but I'm not trying very hard, either.

Nurse Redheart stares at me for a long moment. She hasn't written anything down for a while, just... reading my face. 

She scoots out of her chair, hooves tapping on the floor as she circles her desk. She places a hoof on my thigh, smiling at me.
"...I'm proud of you, Anon." 

"Getting sappy, Doc." I warn, patting her hoof. "You're supposed to be mad at me."

"Oh, I am. That's why I'm seeing you every two weeks now, to make sure you don't pull anything. Especially now that I know you're dating Derpy. You take care of that mare." Redheart says to me, sternly -- though I feel a hint of playfulness underneath it. How rare.

"Everything I've got, and more." I assure her.





The Clinic door clicks shut behind me as I leave. Not quite how I imagined the session going... and feels a little more like it should. Consequences, but understanding. Feels like I figured myself out a little better in there.

And she gave me a toothbrush. It's pink. Honestly, I kind of needed a new one. I think Dina used mine.

Should get back to Rarity's -- don't want to take too long.
> Chapter 16 - Sunday Breakfast?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Wednesday -- two days after my last talk with Redheart. A week and two days since I started working with Rarity, and closing in on a month of dating Derpy.

Finally managed to actually write something back to Tia; Redheart said I likely started slacking because I had so much suddenly going on, but I don't think that was it. Personally, I think it was having both Tia and Luna in my dreams, when I was hiking to the mountain kind of reset my 'Oh I should send her a letter' internal countdown.

Either way, it was a pretty fat letter. Three pages worth, actually. 

First page for talking about what I've been up to generally and how things are going, responding to her last letter about how they can't (or won't) send me to the Moon. Luna says it's an unpleasant experience; as the Pony that actually went there, I'll trust her word on it.

Second page, I talked about my new job working with Rarity, and how things were going with Redheart. Not a job I ever saw myself in -- because it wasn't even a job I ever had sitting on the mind, until I came here. 
Bi-weekly visits too, now, but I had a feeling that Tia was already being sent my check-up reports. Princess Sunbutt was full of... playful subterfuge? Clever, or devious, depending on what she was up to exactly.

Third page, I talked about Derpy, and Dinky. How things had progressed between us, how Dinky started coming over after Derpy and I got along well, until we got a lot closer. I told Tia I figured out why Ponies don't wear clothes often; Derpy in a dress was far too lethal for my day-to-day heart. Ended the page with a tidbit about Twilight, and the others, noting how I'm still getting along with them -- and even made some Griffon friends.

Left a little P.S for Luna, telling her that since I was working with Rarity now, maybe I could try to remake one of my old Uniforms for her. She seemed smitten with the thing since she saw them in my last dream, and I had some lingering questions about magic and level 3 plates.

I didn't talk about the mountain thing. If they ask, I'll answer; but they're celestial-body moving Princesses. If they want to know, they'll find out. I knew that mostly thanks to Luna.

Tia liked the playful, "I was never even involved but knew everything" approach. That's part of the reason we got along so well; my alien attitude and her secretive playful side lead to some enjoyable pen palling. 

Luna was... well, I think she's keeping an eye on me. I've got a few guesses as to what's going on exactly... either she's watching me through the shadows, or sent one of her Bat-Pony things to keep an eye on me, or... something.

You spend 8 hours a day staring in the same direction, every day, for months on end; you spend 8 hours sitting in a hunting blind watching the same treeline for the hint of an antler... either you phase it all out and notice nothing, or start noticing every little flicker.

Somethings been sticking to the shadows near me, wherever I go. It's not limited to the floor either, which is why I assume it's a Bat Pony, if it is something physical, and not a spell. I've heard about... fuck was it, a Thestral? They're way used to sneaking around, on account of being dogpiled on by the big three tribes during Lunas trip to the moon. Never seen one before, and that's probably because these Ponies had some serious hate in their hearts.

Yet another racist Pony moment. Stripes, Bats -- what else? It was hard to be surprised anymore.

Either way, it seems go stop following me around the times that Luna gets active; namely, night. Once I'm shacked up in my house, late-evening, it slips away. I doubt its heading all the way back to Canterlot, but I'm pretty sure those things are nocturnal. Which means that poor bastard is stuck sleeping at night; that, or Luna is spending her days watching me, which... wouldn't bode well for her. I think it's a lackey.

New shadow friend aside, I've got the day off. Rarity has a Spa-Date with Applejack, the two apparently try to meet up every month or something for it. Since they couldn't make it the last several months, they'd both managed to plan around an all-day-make-up spa and relaxation day. 

I'm a helper, so no point in me running the boutique while she's gone, either. Fine by me; I'll take a day off.

Well, as much as you could consider 'Sitting on a couch while four Fillies planned to stage elaborate accidents they could save local Ponies from to get their Cutie Marks' a day off. Nice, warm midday, few clouds in the sky, sprawled on my own furniture with a cup of coffee in hand. And the Fillies are just running with it.

"Apple Bloom; how are we even going to get a Piano up two flights of stairs?" Bell face-hoofs. They'd gone straight to cartoon logic.

"Well ah' don't hear you offering any ideas!" Bloom huffs, turning away and crossing her hoofs.

"What if... we got a cloud, put a bunch of stuff on it, went up high with it, and started dropping it down? Then one of us could warn the Ponies below, and boom! Accident-Saver Crusaders!" Scoots offers. The other three Fillies look at her like she's a genius.

"Who's getting the cloud?" I ask idly, sipping my coffee.

They glance between each other, all eyes setting on Scoots. She gives her little wings a little flap, and the group sighs collectively; no way they could convince someone to get them a cloud without questions. Back to the drawing board. 

Oh, I was probably a terrible influence on them. Sure, I helped iron out their ideas so they wouldn't meander into trouble; but if they had a particularly disastrous plan that I thought was funny enough, I don't think I could foresee myself telling them not too. It'd be funny, after all.

With Rarity and Applejack busy taking a day off, the farm was busy doing the opposite, evidently. To avoid the chance of getting shackled with chores, Apple Bloom escaped here, dragging Sweetie Belle along. Something about how if their sisters were hanging out, then they should too.

Dinky and Scoots were already here when they'd arrived, conveniently enough to ask me if I had seen them. And now my living room was packed full of them. At this point, it's just the norm. I've gotten a few odd looks and questions about it, but any outright questions to my character or intent got shut down hard by Applejack, Rarity -- and Derpy, actually. Seeing her stand ground for me too threw the few locals that took issue it for a hard loop.

Never had kids myself, but... yeah, I'd drop somebody for these little shits. They made my day.

... Right. I already did.

I started expecting them over at this point, too. Been buying them little snacks or whatever when I hit the local shops, got a little stockpile in the bottom drawer of my pantry cabinet just for them; right now, they were decked out with juice-boxes and a little plate of sharable treats, crackers and chips and whatnot. 

Now they're talking about turning the nearest tree in my yard into their new, forward-operating treehouse. They may or may not be slowly getting taught my earthly service lingo, because I also thought that it'd be funny. 

I'm simply soaking in bemusement, as I feel Dinky poke at my side several times.
I sip louder, pretending to ignore her.

"Mister Mussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss-" She drones on and on. Damn, she's got some lungs on her. "-ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" She persists, keeping that same monotone drag. I finally fold.

"What's up, Dinky?" I finally relent, as if I had no idea she wanted my attention.

She points towards my clock, sat on the edge of the fireplace mantle. Oh, shit -- it's almost time.

I ruffle her Mane. Good kid. She grins at me, spurred by the knowledge that she knew better than me in this scenario.

"Off the couch, girls." I call out. I get a few confused looks, but Dinky hops right off, sitting on the floor. The other three follow suit, watching with interest.

Coffee in hand, I meander to the window, unclasp it, and open it wide. I lean back slightly, stretching my back until I hear the distant flap of feather, familiar wings.

Three.

Two.

A fluffy grey mass of bubbles and blonde bombs through it, slamming into the same spot on the couch she always does. Only got to two -- she's early today.

We have a system where we Use Dinky as an intermediary. The Filly has an uncannily good sense at figuring out where her mom is, be that if she's working at the Post Office near the Train Station, or where she is if Derpy's working her route. That includes Dinkster figuring out when she's about to bomb my couch through the window. It's not always the same time, either. I'm not going to pretend like I know how the mail system works in Ponyville, the packages get around either way.

Even when I'm not here, I try to leave the window open; she knows I'm either at home or working with Rarity, and checks both to spend a few minutes with me each day, since we only get Sundays together. Mostly small talk, where we sit very, very close to each other; and hopelessly flirt, planning what to do each Sunday.

Rarity is, thankfully, more than supportive of me taking a fifteen to spend it with my 'Marefriend', always gushing and drilling me for details when I get back in. A die-hard romantic, that one.

"Making good time?" I ask aloud, shutting the window again. 

Dinky hops back up onto the couch, nuzzling her mom as Derpy gets settled, sitting proper, fixing her saddlebag and setting it on the table -- she's getting pretty solid with her landings. The Crusaders are slack-jawed. 

Think this is actually their first time seeing Derpy swing by on her route to say hi. Woops, probably just gave way to plans to try window-bombing for Cutie Marks. That'll be a good one.

Derpy glances up, smiling -- before realizing she has a small, tri-color audience, on top of the usual suspects.

"O-oh! H-hi girls." Derpy clears her throat, looking bashful and throwing me a 'You could have warned me' look. 

"Hi Miss Hooves!" Sweetir Belle beams, always the polite one.

"Woah! How did you DO that?!" Bloom and Scoot both exclaim, once their jaws remember to work. They share a know glance between each-other, nodding. 

Knowing them, it's probably going to be my window they bomb through. I should clear a landing pad, set up blankets and pillows so I don't have smeared Filly on my floor.

Later. Bubble-Butt is here now; and I don't have her for very long.

I slump back down on my couch, Derpy's flank rubbing against my side as I sink into the cushion again. Me on the left, Derpy in the middle, Dinky on the right, facing the table, with the Crusaders surrounding it deep in discussion. The the Crusaders are already yapping about plans, Sweetie Belle incredulous about the plan; Bloom and Scoots only worry is how to get high enough to achieve a proper downward bombing angle, hashing plans to stack locally 'Borrowed' crates and barrels to make a platform. Then, about what floor of window, whose window, and who among them is the most capable of forming a cannonball.

Despite the initial embarrassment, it's quickly forgotten thanks to the Crusaders self-imposed distraction, and my sudden close presence; Derpy's quick to lean against me, one of her wings flicking out slightly as it nudges my back, tucking between me and the couch. I lift my arm over her shoulders, letting my hand drape down over her other side, pulling her close. 

Even though she's been working hard, her fur is still delightfully soft, only matted a little where she'd been carrying her Saddlebags. I rake my fingernails back and forth over this slightly sweaty spot, and Derpy practically melts, getting an itch scratched she didn't even know she had -- she sighs softly, eyes half-closing, fully against me. 

"Proud of you, bubble-butt." I softly plant a kiss on the top of her head, whispering.

She flusters, a silly little giggle escaping her. "For what?"

"I just think you need to hear it more, so you don't forget it." I mutter back, giving a little squeeze.

She rolls her eyes -- I think -- and sighs, feigning exasperation, shaking her head; but she holds me tighter.

Dinky is equally quiet, silently occupying the end of the couch, like a child that knows its staying up too late, so they stay dead silent; waiting to see how long they can go without being noticed. 

I lean close, that adorable snout rising to hover only inches away from my face. She's got these adorable freckles that are a slightly darker grey than the rest of her fur. I'll manage to count them all, some day.

"Where were we last time?" I ask softly. Our conversations tended to get cut short with her tight schedule, so we'd often try to jump back into them and pick up where we left off. "We were going to try the French Toast I offered to do up this Sunday, right? Or had we settled on trying to make a Crepe?" 

"OH!" She suddenly exclaims, an excited foot patting against my chest several times, excitement barely contained. "No, cancel that! Or, we can do it next Sunday after, or something, unless you want to still do it. I'd still love to, but -- you know what I mean. Just -- I'm sorry, I'm butchering this, but I just remembered." 

Cheeky, quiet peck on the tip of her snout gets her stuttering to still.

"I know. Take a second, then get it out." I softly assure her.

She nods, taking a breath and forming her thoughts. She flashes me a sympathetic look.
"I... I need to cancel for this Sunday."

"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks for the heads up. What's going on?" I hum, goading the answer.

"There's a Educational Fair being hosted in Canterlot, and it's going to last the Weekend -- I just found out about it! One of the fliers in the mail I was handing out had an advertisement for it."

"Right. Clue me in on what that means?" I tilt my head.

"Oh -- like, um... several of the surrounding Schools, from Cloudsdale to Manehatten, to even Vanhoover -- and even the Universities and nearby Careers will be hosting tents and booths and stands! It's like a Festival, almost." She explains, though clearly her only source was the pamphlet.

"It's starting to click, now. We called those Career Fairs where I was from." I nod, tapping my temple.

Derpy nods. She was pretty excited about this, actually -- practically vibrating. 
"I was going to ask my boss if I could cash in one of my sick days, and try to bring Dinky up there. I haven't used most of them, so I should be good."

"Touring some of her future options, like which University or Apprenticeship she'd want to take once she finishes school around here?" I field. Judging by Derpy's nod, I'm correct.

"Exactly! Obviously, I want what's best for her; but I want her to be able to feel out what it is she wants to do, and what that will require of her. And there isn't nearly as much choice around here... even if she doesn't pick anything, I think it'd be good to get her knowing what's available." 

"Unless she plans to buck apples." I say with a sarcastic snort.

Derpy chuckles. 
"I don't think she has the family lineage for that one, unfortunately."

"So you two'll be gone for Saturday and Sunday, if all things work out?" 

Derpy nods, pursing her lips. Now that she's gotten the exciting news out of the way -- she thinks about me, and how I might feel about it.
"You're... alright with this, right? I don't want you to feel like I'm neglecting you, but Dinky..."

"Honestly, I'm kind of offended you're even asking my input; we've already talked about how Dinky is your priority. Cancel whenever you need; I just appreciate the heads up." I tease, tracing her side with my thumb. She's adorable -- but of course I'm alright with it. We'd talked about this. She sighs, nodding and leaning her head against my shoulder. My head, in turn, rests on the top of her head.

"When's the last time you went to Canterlot anyway?" I mumble through her mane. The smell of soap is faint; some kind of fruit scent, replaced with the light sweat of a partial days work.

One of her hooves idly and rhythmically taps my thigh in thought.
"...I used to have family in the area. I think... my Grandfathers funeral, when I was a Filly." 

I squeeze her a little tighter, planting another kiss on her head.
"Never easy, seeing them go." I respond quietly.

She glances up at me, meeting my eyes. I think.
"Yours too?"

I nod. "Grandpop taught me most of what I know, until his age caught up to him."

She looks back down, the hoof that was patting my thigh now resting on it, to comfort me. I decide it might not be best to linger in a solemn moment, considering we both still had the rest of the day to tackle. If it was just us? Quiet end of the day? I'd hold her for hours in that sad, deafening silence.

"So, not quite sure what to expect when you head up there?" I field, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

"Yeah. Little nervous, mostly excited. Actually, a lot nervous. And a lot excited." She says, taking a big, calming breath.

"I visit now and then with Twilight, so I've been there recently." I explain, and she glances up to me again.

"Really? What for?" 

"Oh, mostly bothering Tia."

"...Whose Tia? A friend?"

"Oh, Celestia."

"...Princess Celestia?"

"Bingo."

"The Princess Celestia?"

"She's my Penpal. Those letters you've been bringing me and mailing out for me for months; we keep up between swinging by for Tea."

She stares at me, eyes wide. Right, forgot being on a nickname basis with what was basically God Jr of this realm was a big deal.

"Alright, now I've got something to ask you." I mutter, giving her side a little poke. 

"Y-yeah?" She reacts with a small squeak, snapping out of it.

"Want me to come with you? Not to intrude, if you wanted this to be a Dinky and You type weekend."

For a moment, she looks like she wants to beam; but a flash of guilt takes her face, glancing away,
"I... I couldn't." 

"I'd pay my own way, obviously." I start, using a finger to tease her chin upwards, so she looks me in the face. God, I love that face. And I hate how sad those eyes look, so often as she digs herself into her own thoughts.
"I know you've got your own plans with Dinky; and I have no intention drawing you away from those to do something else. I've got the weekend free, too; so I'm only asking if you'd enjoy if I tagged along."

She looks up at me, conflicted. I've figured this adorable Mare has a problem with bits, but I want to make sure that this trip she's looking forward to goes well for her. She deserves it. But of course she'd have difficulty trying to ask someone to go and spend their own money to tag along on a trip they get minimal input on, basically to be a set-piece to a Mother and Daughter going to a Career Fair. 

But I appreciated that level of empathy from her. She cared about others, and wouldn't ask unless she could cover things for me herself; which I would never ask her to do. So instead, I push my offer to join her, to happily be a background set piece that makes her smile when she glances behind her, knowing I'm still there. Seeing these two, happy? Shit, I think that's all I'm starting to want.

She glances back suddenly, looking to Dinky -- who's poking her fervently in her side with both hooves, nodding with such intensity her brain is probably rattling around in there. Derpy looks back to me, biting her lip pensively.

"Your plus-one, providing directions and company. Well, and I might buy you and Dinky dinner or something to woo you a little, but I think that's just a given." I whisper playfully, leaning close to press my lips to her soft cheek, kissing gently. 

I feel hooves wrap up over my shoulders, and around my neck, pulling me in tight against the her as the kiss is returned; her plush lips to my lips.

"If you're sure -- and only if you're certain... I think we'd love that, Anon." She whispers back, smiling.

"Ooh, Rarity's gonna get a kick out of this. She loves this sappy stuff." I hear Sweetie Belle whisper to the others.
> Chapter 17 - Catch the Train
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its friday night, after working a shorter shift with Rarity. Well, before she shoo'd me away to "Enjoy my Weekend", followed by a hefty wink. 

Tapping my chin, I'm going over the items I want to bring, backpack pulled open and sat on my bed. It's a little after dinner; the remains of mine now sat in the kitchen sink. I should probably do those before I leave.

I don't really have much, but it'll be for about two days. So, two days worth of clothing, thrown into my backpack. Reasonable amount of Bits; I've got a decent handle on the idea of Canterlot prices, so this'll probably dent my savings a little. 

For a moment, I mull over how much I should bring. I don't mull very long. I've got a stable job, Rarity is entirely cool with me going to Canterlot for the Weekend; though she made sure I promised I'd relay anyone curious about my clothes to her Boutique, which is fair. 

And, it's for Derpy. I nod to myself, packing a good amount of Bits. Clothes, Bits...

My gaze slowly trails to my bedroom doorway, looking out towards the living room. No, I don't need any of that.

... I still pack my worn combat knife, tucked deep underneath some of the clothes, with my nice, no-longer-stained fancy clothes laid overtop. Not that I'm expecting to tear Derpy and Dinky away from the Fair, nor am I actually expecting anything problematic; but I'd like to be prepared if... an opportune moment arises, in either case. 

What else...

Packing wise, I'm... done? It's only two days, plus travel. Simple. 

The shadows under my bed flicker ever so slightly. I've gotten pretty good at picking them out. Whoever they are, they're good; but I've started picking up on their preference for hiding spot. They like to go low, usually, I think in an attempt to counter how tall I am compared to a Pony. Must think I don't look down often -- problem with that is, I'm always glancing down at my leg. Can't feel if my foot isn't on tight enough and is backwards.

My bed creaks as I sit on the edge of it, giving my leg a rest. The plan was to meet in the early morning, catch the train, scrounge a hotel, and hit the fair. No real big reason to stew on it any longer; I should get some rest.





I'm on the cliff again, in the mountains.

Rifle against my shoulder, laying on my jacket, propped against some rocks. Scope pressed against my eye, watching the Dog-things. I never pull the trigger. I just... watch them. They gamble, talk, drink, nap.

Hours go by, watching them on my scope. At least, it feels like it.

They carry something up from the inside of the mining pit. It's small, lavender and limp.

They discard the little lavender body, tossing it some feet away, before trudging back into the mine. It lays still.

There's no sound, as I drop each one. It doesn't even feel like the gun has recoil. It doesn't even feel like I'm racking it. I just fire. Fire. Fire. Until the Mountains are quiet, and stained in red.

There's a nudge on my shoulder -- my eye finally lifts, a red mark against my skin from the pressure. I try to turn my head, but whoever it is won't let me. I just... can't. I feel something holding my neck.

"You just want the excuse, don't you?"

The pressure is lifted from my neck, but a deep-seeded dread takes its place. I turn, slowly, and look. I don't want to. But I do. 

There's nothing there.

If Luna ever shows, I don't see her.

I wake up, sweating, fists clenching the sheets, heart pounding. It's early morning, the pink glow of sun peering through the windows.





That's not the first bad dream I've had, but it's the first one I've had recently. Ever since I started getting settled here, things were... good. Not great; that was when I got to know Derpy.

The shadows are quiet today, staying still. Predictable. Normal.

Bag slung over my shoulder, comfortable clothes on, both hands in in my jacket pockets, I'm trailing through Ponyville towards the Train Station. Quiet Saturday morning; Ponyville's a smaller, rural town, so Ponies were used to being up early. Weekends, though, most were sleeping in; mind the few that still worked early. There's a couple out and about, but most pay me little mind. Think they're getting used to me, seeing me interact with so many Ponies on the daily now, and not skulking around the woods and sticking to the edge of town.

Just caught a pretty hefty sneer from a passing stallion. Nevermind. 

Left another note on my door that I'd be out. I stifle a yawn, covering my hand with a fist -- I got the hours I needed, but I don't feel rested. My firing hand won't stop trembling. I hold it in front of me for a moment, huff, and stuff it back into my pocket. Hasn't been that bad since--

"Anon!" I hear, distantly, distracting me. 

I pause, turning and trying to put a face to the voice. It's pretty easy -- she's a big purple splotch running towards me, and sounds pretty stand-out.

"Hey, Twilight. You doing alr--"

She 'Gently' slides into me, wrapping her hooves around my midsection.

Alright, not what I was expecting. Like, I know we're good now, but still. Before I can even decide between returning the hug, patting her head, or any really, she's let me go, looking up at me. Her nose twitches, and she seems distracted for a second, before she clears her throat.

"I'm sorry." She says firmly, big round purple eyes glued to my face.

"...Okay? For what?" I ask, still confused.

"I had a good talk with Princess Celestia. She... opened my eyes, to a few things. That... the more capable someone is of cruelty, it's even more meaningful when they choose to do good." She explains, trying to summarize her mentors lesson.

"Right." I nod. At least she seemed to be getting a good grasp on things.

"...Are you heading somewhere? I'm not keeping you, am I?" Twilight asks, noticing my pack.

"Heading to Canterlot with Derpy and Dinky, hitting the Career Fair." I nod.

"Oh! They should have fun! It's only one of the biggest Fairs in Canterlot; every year, all funneled into two days! It's packed, exciting, Ponies from all over showing off their jobs, careers, opportunities, looking for new hires -- I thought Rarity hired you? Are you looking for a job?" Twilight buzzes, excited.

"Not for myself; I'm happy with Rarity's gig. It's interesting work. Derpy wants to take Dinky so she can see what she'd like to do in her future, that kind of a thing." I explain, offering a shrug. A job could pay twice, triple the bits -- I'm not skirting Rarity's generosity and chance on me.

"Perfect! I can't think of a better place to try and explore their options! Might even lead to her discovering something new she enjoys!" Twilight continues. I glance behind myself... yeah, I left early enough. I've got time.

"Yeah. They're both pretty excited about it." I affirm.

"Say... when did you and Derpy get so close? I'm glad you're making friends --"

"Oh, we're, uh... dating." I cough, glancing away. I wasn't ashamed of it or anything; just felt... odd to state aloud. I'm dating a small, grey horse with a literal bubblebutt. With a daughter.

Twilight's face scrunches. Her eyes widen in realization.

"OH! THAT'S WHY YOU SMELL LIKE -- And when I saw you, and Derpy was in the dress!? And why Dinky is always at your--" Twilight begins to ramble, everything becoming clear.

"Yep." I nod. I remember to avoid any places with Milkshakes while we're in Canterlot. Ah, fuck. I should've packed more clothes.

Twilight smiles, widely. 
"I'm happy for you, Anon. For both of you. That's... that's really good." 

"Thanks, Twi. I gotta go, though -- don't want to miss the train, I'm working off the Derpy-Brand schedule. Talk when I'm back?" I say, thumbing behind myself towards where the Trainstation's side of town is.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah! Go, GO!" She shoos me.

I chuckle, turning and start walking again.

"Don't be late! Run! Go!" I can hear her call.

I turn, waggling my leg at her. She goes quiet.

"Nevermind! Take your time! But quickly!" She calls out again.
> Chapter 18 - Boarding
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tickets to Canterlot were cheaper than I expected. I step out of the line for the ticket booth, moving towards the awaiting train and their associated tracks. Actually, I bought two tickets; I'd heard from Rarity that the booths were sized for four Ponies, facing each-other. Not exactly keen on potentially sharing a seat with a stranger for several hours, I figured I could use the room to kick my feet up or something. 

There were a lot of Ponies out and about, chatting and waiting. Must be because Canterlot isn't terribly far; I knew Rarity would make trips often, so I guess other Ponies did too? Half of them didn't even have luggage. My neck tingles with my dislike of crowds, but I'm torn from my distaste quite early.

"Mister Muss!" A familiar voice squeaks out distantly, pulling me from my thoughts and helping guide me through the morning gathering of ready-to-goers. Waiting for the boarding call to go out, the crowd continues to grow in number as the time ticked ever closer, more and more Ponies herding in; all probably a into Canterlot for the Fair, too.

If the station was already this bad, I may have underestimated how packed Canterlot was going to be. My height, of course, always gave me an advantage to navigating packs of Ponies; I could even step over the worst of them, but that usually got a pretty poor reaction, so I tried to scoot around them, typically.

Picking Ponies out of a crowd was a little harder, with their eye-blinding variety of colors, often contrasting with themselves. Thankfully, the pair of Ponies i was looking for had a habit of making themselves known, and had a palette that was pleasant on the oculars.

Closer to the boarding ramp, I can see Dinky, standing on Derpy's back, waving me down. Derpy has her wings furled up, using them to balance Dinky. Clever.

Carefully parting through, around and over the gathering flashbang of knee-high crayon-colored tiny horses, I'm finally close enough to make (some form of) eye contact with Derpy, who smiles warmly as she sees me. She's got her and Dinky's tickets in her teeth, two bags of luggage beside them (I have no idea what she might have packed, considering they don't wear clothes), and a smaller saddlebag hanging off her neck; like a sturdy looking purse. One of her wings stretching out to wave at me, while Dinky slides off the same side of her back, making sure to stay close to her mom so as not to be consumed by the wanton crowd.

Honestly, I have no idea how she managed to get this far with a Filly, tickets, and two things of luggage. Unicorns had it easy; this Mare put in the work.

Nearly tripping over the last pony I step around, (and exchanging a rather impolite apology), I manage to kneel beside the pair, returning the smile. 
"Hey Derpy, hey Dinkster. Want some help?" I offer, nodding to the luggage.

Surprisingly, Derpy shakes her head, and instead tilts her head up towards me, offering the tickets in her mouth.
"Mind hohlding dees? I've ghot dhe lugghaj." Derpy responds with closed teeth, trying not to let her lips touch.

... I know I could probably just take it with my hand. It'd be simple. Easy. The proper thing to do. But we were going to spend a weekend together. Time for a little hint as to the consequences of bringing me along.

I lean down, watching her eyes widen as I take the tickets from her mouth, with my mouth, teeth to teeth. I'm slow about it, maintaining eye contact (as best I can), giving her a cheeky smile once they dangle from my own. She's dead-still while I do it.

I had no idea if passing things mouth to mouth were the norm for Earth Ponies or the like, but judging by the bashful look on her face, it might not be a thing for Pegasi. After I've got them, I do take them and tuck them into my pocket with my other tickets, patting them once they're secure.

"T-thanks." She finally breaks the silence, huffy. "You could have used your hands, you know." Derpy teases, glancing down, throwing me a playful smile. 

"Would that have been as fun?" I counter, grinning.

She purses her lips, glancing away. I was pretty certain at this point; this Mare had a thing for teeth.

While we wait, we slip to some small talk, though it doesn't last long; the Conductor's whistle carrying over this side of Ponyville from the front of the train, signaling the start to boarding. I get the chance to see just how Derpy managed getting her, Dinky, and all their stuff here; she uses her wings, like hands, to wheel the luggage alongside her with the handles. I forget how prehensile those things tend to be. 

And how it seems like the Ponies adapted to oddly human approaches to technology. I think about that, sometimes. Like it wasn't their own inventions? So much of their technology looked like it was meant for humans to use, and not made or invented by those meaning to use them with hooves. Shaking thoughts that might hurt my brain out of said space, I follow closely, Dinky staying closer to me now that her Mother was wheeling the luggage forward. 

She's actually pretty on her game about it, only nearly tipping them over once when they got caught on a gap in the floorboards of the station. The crowd surges around us, all wanting to quickly get settled.





The train car we filed into is about three quarters full, so we had a chance to basically get our own booth. Dinky and Derpy sit across from me, our luggage stored overhead, while me, my jacket and my leg occupy the other two seats, giving me a chance to sprawl out. That gets a few glances from passing Ponies, wondering that the hell it even is.

Thankfully, being cramped wasn't as much of an issue as I thought it would be; I'm abusing the double-tickets I bought anyway. The train is a lot more open, since Ponies sit either on their haunches, or fully on their stomachs. Compared to the very closed-off, multi-seat trains I was used to on earth, these were far more open, like floor-cushions with no back.

Not my first time taking the train, either; usually with Twilight and Spike to visit. 

Dinky, funny enough, isn't the most excited one; that would be Derpy. It's pretty clear she doesn't get out of Ponyville, ever, and she was definitely planning on this trip for a while, and looks out the window, leaning over Dinky, with a smile that just can't seem to leave her face.

Makes me feel like its all the more important that I make sure it goes off without a hitch.

"So what's on the planner?" I field, shifting to sink into my seat and get more comfortable, hands clasped on my stomach. Dinky wriggles her way underneath the table, squeezing in between my side and my arm, giving me a wide grin. Derpy glances over, noticing; but when she sees I'm fine with it, she stifles a giggle, shaking her head.

Adorable kid. More adorable mom, honestly; I love watching her smile.

"Uhhh... the hotel that we're going to check out is the..." She mutters, tearing her gaze from the window to rummage through her bag; with a wing to keep the top open, she pulls out a pamphlet with her teeth, holding it out towards Dinky. Without missing a beat, the little filly surrounds it with a shimmering lavender glow, unfurling it in front of herself.

"East-Side... Equine... Estate. A fancy... affordable, home away from home. No... Reservations Needed, offered Breakfasts and Indoor Pool." Dinky reads out, before beaming proudly. Getting to see these two in action was the sweetest thing.

Derpy smiles, nodding proudly. Kid read that out pretty concisely. Actually, I had no idea what grade Dinky was in. Or how like, advanced she was. Or the Crusaders. Were they like, grade school? If Cutie Marks were like Puberty, then that was probably it. But some of the Foals in the school had Cutie Marks.

I stop myself before I spiral into another one of the many, dangerously always-waiting thought spirals of trying to comprehend how this world worked. My brain hurt less when I stopped trying to, and just rolled with it.

It takes me a second to notice that Dinky is looking up at me now, expectantly. Is she looking for my approval, too? This kid is too damn cute.

I tussle her Mane, nodding in turn.
"Tackled them big words like a pro, squirt. Could probably ready circles around me." 

Dinky practically puffs up twice her size in pride, Derpy rolling her eyes. I think.

"Sounds like you singled out a good place. How'd you hear about it?" I ask, looking to Derpy. She shakes her head.

"When I told my boss about the trip, he was the one who actually recommended it to us. Said it's where he likes to stay when he's in Canterlot on business, or meeting with family." She explains, pocketing the pamphlet into her purse again as Dinky floats it back over to her.

"Gotchya." I nod, glancing out the window. Looks like everyone's on board -- one of the Conductors trots past the window to get into place. Probably shifting off the station here any minute. 

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" I field suddenly, looking to Derpy. A thought just tickled my mind.

"Mm? Uh... sure? What about?" She responds, curious. Dinky stares up at me, equally so, tilting her head.

"You've got, uh... is Strabismus the right name?" I ask, cautiously tilting my head. It's not always easy bringing up someone's condition, but one cripple to another, I'm hoping she won't take issue.

I'm pleasantly met with Derpy looking more like she's surprised, rather than upset.
"Oh! Yes, I have it. You know about it?" She asks, hooves kneading on her train seat. "Most Ponies don't actually know my condition, they just call it Cross-Eyes."

There's a distant, muffled whistle towards the front of the train. 

"Really? Huh. Yeah, exists on my old world too. I wanted to ask, and I hope I'm not offending, but I noticed... Dinky does a lot of reading for you, right?" I point to the little filly tucked against my arm.

Both nod.

"She's a delight." Derpy smiles, which gets Dinky beaming again. "I can read things out on my own, eventually, but I haven't had a pair of glasses in a while, and Dinky is always wanting to help me"

"One, that's adorable. Two, the meat of my question." I start, but their confused look pauses me. Right.

"Oh, uh, sorry, old world saying. I meant, that leads to what I wanted to ask." I explain, and Derpy nods.

"How do you handle your deliveries?" I ask, motioning with my hands. If she couldn't read properly; how was she one of Ponyvilles most efficient Mail-Mares?

"Oh! You mean because I can't read the -- oh, well, I get one of the other Employees to list out who each package or letter is for, and then I take it to each Pony!" She explains, like it's the simplest thing in the world.

I purse my lips in thought, processing that statement.
"So you know... every Pony in town, by name, and where they live?" I ask, unsure.

She nods quickly. "Yep!"

Well, consider me floored. I knew she was a brilliant Mare, but damn. I couldn't think of anybody who knew how to do that kind of shit. Explains why Dinky was so damn smart, too; her Mom had some damn good memory.

My only reaction is a little golf clap, nodding with admiration.

She smiles bashfully, a hoof patting her Mane as she glances away.
"W-what? It's nothing special..."

"I completely disagree." I bluntly retort. "That's amazing, and I doubt there's more than a handful of Ponies this side of Equestria who could do such a thing. You've got quite the talented mom, Dinkster."

Dinky is all smiles, nodding complete agreement.  

Derpy turns further and further away, just staring out the window now, blush growing.
"Flatterer..." She mumbles. 

The train lurches suddenly, starting to chug down the tracks. We watch out the window as Ponyville starts to become distant, growing further away.

Dinky pops out from under my arm and slinks back under the table, nuzzling up against her mom as the two watch the train shift out of the station, both exuding tangible excitement.

Fuck, these two were the cutest things.
> Chapter 19 - The Train to Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ponyville has been out of sight for a few minutes now, scrolled far into the distance, now out of view as the angle of the train veers away. Dinky has settled in, the initial excitement wearing off as she stifles a yawn. We did get up pretty early to catch this train, so I wouldn't be surprised if --

-- And she's snoring. It's a fucking 'Honk Shoo, Mimimi' snore too, which Derpy and I share a knowing, quiet laugh over. 

Since the inside of the train is pretty warm, I slip my jacket off, leaning over the table as I cover the snoozing Filly with it, like it's a big blanket. Derpy smiles at that; once it's draped over the filly, she leans on her side and uses her wing to tuck Dinky in. She mouths a 'Thank you', before getting settled in her own seat again.

"So. Do I get a turn to ask a personal question?" She asks; we're speaking a touch quieter to not wake Dinky, but the trains general ambience keeps things comfortable.

"You can ask me whatever you want, whenever you want. Just be careful what you ask for." I smile, my good foot jostling as I get comfortable myself.

She throws me a surprisingly flirtatious look in turn.
"Careful with that, Mister Muss. I still haven't forgotten how you took our tickets." She purrs.

Wow, alright. Stronger reaction then I thought. I fan myself, making a 'phew' noise, getting a giggle out of the teasing mare.

"Was that a little too much?" I ask, smiling. "Just trying to play in the same field. I recall a certain somepony... kissing my teeth."

"...I quite like your teeth." She admits, giving me a half-lidded stare. "They're... you, are very interesting to look at. I find myself looking at them often."

"What, you into carnivores? Sharp teeth, Biting? Wonder how Derpy would taste with Barbecue sauce..." I joke, rubbing my chin. She giggles, sighing and laying her head on her hooves.

"...Maybe one or two of those." She admits, still watching me.

She was being a bit forward, today. Did this Mare have a kink for Teeth and Biting? Oh, boy. Mentally jotting that one down for later. So, definitely, absolutely going to try nibbling her ear when she isn't expecting it.

I huff softly, giving her a raised eyebrow.
"Before we get a little too distracted; what was the question you had?"

She snaps out of her playful mood a little, nodding. Since I was willing to ask about her Strabismus, I figured the line of questions she might have for me was probably similar in nature.
"...Does it hurt? Your leg." She starts, pointing at my prosthetic, currently sat against the train wall, beside me. "I notice you tend to take it off now and then."

"Prosthetic is padded around the stump, so I can go for most of the day just fine, as long as I get a few chances to sit. Running or over-exerting, though, and it could start to bleed." I explain, tapping the metal rod that connected stump-holder to foot.

"Really? Why would it bleed?" Derpy asks, concerned.

"I've got a chunk of metal in my stump, for connecting the leg. I forget the details, but imagine its like..." I mutter, trying to think of an analogy. "Imagine you were flapping your wings, and they kept rubbing your saddlebag. Even when they started to get raw, you kept going. They'd bleed, right?"

She makes a little 'Ohh', nodding. It wasn't quite a 1:1 explanation, but I think that covered the basics of the idea. 

"Do you ever... hm. I'm not sure how to ask this." She trails off, pursing her pretty lips. I noticed I tend to stare at her face, a lot. 

"Miss it?" I guess.

She glances, and after a pause, nods.

"Not really much of a point to. Sure, some days there's an itch that I can't scratch; phantom limb or whatever its called, but what happened, happened. Wishing I had it back isn't gonna make my day any better, so I chug onwards." I explain.

A pair of Colts and a Foal walk past us down the Train center, the Foal asking it's parents about the bathroom.

"And... do you mind if I ask what did happen?" Derpy asks slowly, worried it's a sensitive topic. I tilt my head back, thinking.

"I'm sorry if it's -- " She goes to say, but I hold a hand up.

"No, you're fine. I don't mind, It's just complicated to explain, in Pony terms." I offer, and she nods, expecting me to drop it. She glances back attentively as I hum aloud, starting to try and summarize it in a... Pony-Friendly way.

"I was a... you guys have Soldiers, right? Army?" I start.

She shakes her head. Right. Equestria didn't have much of a military-type deal outside the Royal Guard force and those Wonderbolts. I think Luna's time was when they had soldiers, an army, that kind of thing. War is a far foreign concept to most of Equestria, now. 

"Uh... like the Royal Guards, but less prolific. And instead of just guarding the castle, we would go all over the world to..."
What's the best way I can explain this without bring up Earth-World Politics with a Pony? 
"...serve our Country. Our Equestria."

"And you got hurt during it? Protecting your Equestria from Evil?" She guesses.

I glance out the window. That was a loaded one.
"...Things aren't good and evil, there; but, myself and plenty others went to other places to try and protect our home. For some, it was as simple as that. There was bad, and they were sent to do good. Others served because it had benefits, like Citizenship. Or a Hellcat."

She nods, silent as she listens; though 'Hellcat' gets a curious look.

"And... I got hurt, alongside a few others. Think of it like... we stepped on a hidden magic trap, that we didn't know was there. And it blew up." I summarize. "Took my leg, and a chunk of debris hit my face. Did less and more to some of the other guys. I was one of the ones that got to go home, after that."

I lean my head back, groaning. I've come to terms with it, but it was never a comfortable topic. I was the lucky ones in that situation; my gaze growing distant as I remember. The smell. It makes me scrunch my nostrils. I sink further into my seat, until I'm almost fully reclined and taking up both of my spots.

Derpy is silent for a moment, watching me with sad eyes. I think she understands, generally. The Ponies are by no means stupid... I hesitate to call most of them naive, either. They're just... the modern Pony is as far-removed from violence as possible, thanks to Celestia working towards that for the last thousand years.

"May I?" She asks quietly.

I turn, looking at her expectantly; Derpy slowly climbs around Dinky so as not to wake her, out of their pair of seats, and  into the middle walkway. She approaches my side, putting a hoof up beside me, and watches me expectantly. 

I nod, shifting slightly to make room. 

Derpy climbs up, stepping around and over me -- before nestling in between my side, and my arm, similar to how Dinky had squeezed in beside me earlier. Since she's a fair big bigger than Dinky, though, it's half life she's laying on top of my side. She presses her face against my neck, her wings unfurling to wrap around me in a feathery hug, overt PDA be damned.

Actually, a quick glance at the rest of the traincar shows... most of the other Ponies were sitting pretty close to their others, hooves over shoulders or necks nuzzling. Forgot how big on physical affection these things are; which is further reinforced by the fact that most of the Ponies I know keep hugging me.

Derpy's warm, and she nuzzles against me, trying to comfort me.
"Thank you. For telling me." She whispers. "I know I haven't... explained everything to you, yet you were willing to explain yours to me."

"It's all good. I've had a long time to process it. It's just not my favorite thing to think about, you know." I whisper back. I plant a quiet kiss on her head, catching a whiff of her mane. She smelled nice. "What shampoo do you use?"

She stifles a giggle, shifting to look up at me. "A bold topic shift. Why don't I show you next Sunday?" Derpy offers quietly.

I give her a surprised look, mock-gasping.
"You shock me with how forward you are, sometimes, Miss Derpy."

A deep blush takes her face as she realizes the innuendo she unknowingly committed.
"I meant that... exactly how I said it, but... I guess I'll just have to stick to my word, then, lest I make myself a liar. Is it a date?" She whispers, her breath tickling my neck.

"You don't even have to ask; expect me at your door every Sunday, unless we make plans to meet somewhere." I whisper back. "French toast next week? Get some raspberries, some honey, syrup..." 

She hums in contentment, seemingly quite fond of the idea.
"That sounds, delightful, 'non." She says, lifting her head to look over my face. God, I love those little freckles.

"Alright, Bubble-Butt, it's a date." I tease, giving her a playful, cheeky smile. 

A playful hoof softly smacks my chest.
"Do not call me Bubble-Butt around my Daughter, Mister Muss." She warns sternly.

"Right, in private only." I tease -- she huffs, laying her head back into my neck.

"Numbnuts." She mutters, giggling.

"I'd be more upset, if I didn't know how deeply fond of me you are. Obsessed, I might even garner." I mutter back, stroking along her back with a hand.

"Obsessed?" She retorts, chuffing.

"We're on our way to a weekend-long date right now, and you've already got me planning the next one. Sounds like some serious attachment to me." I joke.

Derpy lifts her head again, giving me a more serious look.
"...Anon..." She starts, but a quick kiss planted on her nose puts her on pause.

"I know. This weekend is all about Dinky; and you. But to me, any time I get to spend with you is a date; I'll find times to spoil you and make you feel like a special Mare in between. Trust me?" I softly ask, watching those big, golden eyes stare back at... the ceiling, and my chest. But I know she's staring at me. It's in the nose, and where she points it; and I can feel the breath from hers on my own.

She kisses my lips, softly, for a single moment; a sigh slowly escaping her chest, as its over as quickly as she started it.
"Of course, Anon. I trust you. Just stop making my heart beat so fast, will you? Makes it hard to find the right words." She teases, smiling.

"You're the one that decided to climb onto me." I protest, pulling her a little closer. 

Her face scrunches playfully. "You looked like you need a hug. I thought I was the best fit to give it to you."

"Of all the hugs you Ponies keep throwing my way, easily top ten. Top five, even." I nod in teasing agreement. She gives me a look, scoffing.

"You get hugged by other Ponies? And here I thought you wanted my scent." She rebuffs, lifting her wings off of me.

"Not willingly. You think any of these Ponies ask first before they throw themselves on me? Case included?" I retort, faking a scoff.

"Well, excuse me for trying to comfort a friend." She huffs, huffily.

"A Coltfriend, if I have the term right. And you're excused." I grin, getting a soft hoof-slap on the chest for my behavior.

"Then let me go, and I'll be on my way, right back to my seat."

"Mm... nah. Think I prefer you here." I hug her closer, not letting her up. "Make sure the... scent sticks, or something."

"Hrmph. Smooth. And clingy, for a top five."

"Never said where on that five your hugs fall. What if I was ranking individual hugs, and not hugs from particular Ponies?"

"Like that'd make it any better?"

"What if I said four of the top five were from you?"

She gives me a dry look. "And who might be this other, oh-so-prized hugger?"

I point past her, towards the snoring filly. "Dinky, of course. Who else?" I respond bluntly, with just a hint of cheek.

Derpy sighs, starting to laugh. She keeps it quiet so as not to wake the Dinkster. "Good answer, Mister."

It's such a bubbly, fun giggle. She looks at me, sighing.

I think I'm getting closer to counting out all those freckles. We stare at each-other's faces for a good while.

God or Celestia damn, I love this Mare.
> Chapter 20 - Arrival for the Fair
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

We spent the rest of the ride holding each-other, quietly sharing feelings, thoughts, ideas, stories; all while embraced snuggly as the train rattled on, speaking in whispers and giggles. She tells me about Dinky's youth, and how playful she always was, a little beacon of too-smart-for-her-own-good. I tell her about my Sisters, being the only brother. It's a good, calm, honest talk; her wings are draped over me in a loose hug, and my hand idly roams up and down her side, coasting through her soft fur. I pause to scratch the lightly matted part where her purse had been sitting, eliciting a small purr from her.

Well, until one of the train staff came by to ask us for our Tickets for stapling. Had to unwrap ourselves, reach over and fish them out of my jacket pocket, without waking Dinky; she still had it draped over her like a blanket, and slept like the dead. While I handled presenting the tickets, Derpy got settled back in her own seat again, semi-awkwardly shuffling around the Conductor, who just seemed like they couldn't care any less. They were more concerned with how my detached leg sat beside me, honestly.

Once tickets sorted, we were sat across from each-other again. With the moment passed, we switched gears.

Some light conversation about what it was like to eat without a cheek, and what is was like to have wings, kept us entertained as Canterlot slowly came into view through the window. Derpy was very curious; but also very empathetic, not wanting to upset. It took a fair amount of reassurances to get her to ask the more divisive questions she had; but our talk petered out as Canterlot neared.

Derpy, wings twitching with excitement, gently woke her daughter so she could see; the Filly squeezing in beside her mom to stare out the window with eyes so big, they threatened to pop right out. 

I don't think Dinky had ever been to Canterlot before; and compared to Ponyville, it was quite the change of scenery. From rural, oversized village where the biggest building might have been Twilight's Library, to the stone-fortified castle-town that boasted towers and walls, mounted on the side of a mountain. And I thought humans had some ballsy architecture.

Their excitement is borderline contagious; I can't help but watch them, pointing and whispering in anticipation as Canterlot looms, hooves tapping on the train glass, smiling myself. A similar scene plays out among the other booths, as we get ever closer, with the other seats filled with muttering and window-gathering; I don't care about the other booths, though. My attention is torn between Derpy's tangible excitement shared with her daughter, and the dressed-up Capital of Equestria.

Canterlot is decorated like a festival is underway; probably because it is, but I haven't seen it like this before. Banners start to line the tracks, large lines of flags can be seen dangling from the overhangs and roofs of the buildings, and cloud-art paints the skies; looks like the Pegasi have some prime advertising space for their booths. Streamers and balloons, art installations. It's like a whole new splash of color soaked over Canterlot.

The train starts to slow, the grind of the wheels muffled as it nears the station, and the audible buzz of the excitement that's swept Canterlot can start to be heard; I'm already twisting my leg back on, Derpy taking my jacket in her wings to pass it over, moving around Dinky as the Filly still stares outside.

She's about to 'wing' it over to me, but pauses, looking at my outstretched hand. Then, to the jacket. She pulls it closer, and gives it a quiet smell, nose pressed to the fabric. She smiles, throwing me a look alongside the jacket this time.

It goes wide, (obviously), but I catch it, working my arms into the sleeves. I can't help but smile back.

I like when she gets playful.





For this part, I was glad we decided to swing for the early morning train. We weren't the only ones with that idea, obviously, but the station could've been a lot more packed it we tried for one of the later arrivals.

When it came to Canterlot, it wasn't nearly as rural as Ponyville; but it also wasn't nearly as Metropolitan as some of the other towns I've heard about, like Vanhoover or Manehatten. So, I was already catching some odd glances. I was just thankful they didn't tend to stick very long. I think the excitement and distractions of the Fair was seeping through the populace. Might actually get to enjoy this, if my dislike of crowds doesn't kick in too heavily.

I expected this to be a fun, draining weekend.

Once we manage to disembark and actually hit the streets, Dinky has the Pamphlet for the Hotel floating open in front of herself, leading the charge, reading the address and following the streets. Derpy is right behind her, wheeling one of her cases with her wing; I'd offered to take the other one, and was walking on Derpy's other side, my bag comfortably slung on my back, the second case of luggage tucked under my arm.

Though I'd been to Canterlot a few times, I hadn't actually truly explored it. Usually stuck to Twilight, visiting the Princess, her Parents, or just accompanying her during the trip; all of which were pretty direct routes, quickly cutting through the city.

Part of me wonders if I should swing by and say hey to Tia, or if that would come off a little heavy. If I had time, maybe, but Dinky and Derpy were the priority here. Plus, good chance the guards might not even let me in; I doubt the rank and file guard was privy to me being Pen-Pals with their Sun Goddess, and throwing a stink at the gate was not in the plans.

Still a wild concept to me,. That whole control-the-sun-and-moon thing. But, I had a solution for that.

Stop thinking about it.

Hasn't failed me yet, and it doesn't fail me now, as my brain returns to simpler thought processes; like watching Derpy walk. That one's much easier on the mind. And, when I can, helpful nudges to make sure she doesn't bump into anything.

I don't want to be overbearing, but I want to at least be some kind of helpful; so I stick to only nudging during the close calls. I can tell, now that she's actually Hooves-In-Canterlot, her nerves are starting to spike; so my nudges also serve as a reminder that she's not alone. I think the smile she gives me every time I poke her back or her side means I'm doing alright.

This section of Canterlot, the entryway, is shared with the Gatehouse for on-hoof entry, and is highly decorated; but there's little in the way of booths or anything to draw long term attention, just posted Guards, keep everyone moving. 

The Hotel, the name of which Dinky reads off out loud every ten seconds or so, is apparently just off the main road; lower traffic without being too far from the actual meat of the Fair itself is the gamble here.

"Exciting stuff, huh?" I ask Derpy; she's glancing around, trying to take in everything without taking an eye off Dinky.

"...Yeah, it's really pretty." She nods, though she's heavily distracted. She might already have too much on her plate, trying to juggle too much. 

I lean down, using my free arm to nudge her wing. She blinks, looking up at me.
"Hold my hand? I'll keep an eye on Dinky for you, so you can enjoy the sights. This is as much a vacation for you as it is a trip for Dinky." I smile, wiggling my awaiting fingers.

Derpy looks like she wants to dismiss the idea, but her gaze settles on my smile. She sighs, a relieved smile of her own taking her face, and the feathery soft wing meets my hand; I'm gentle as I hold onto the largest of the end-feathers. Hand-Wing holding with a Pegasus. Not something I ever saw myself doing, but now, definitely something I could see myself doing more of.

Dinky squeaks, suddenly taking a hard left into a side-street, narrowly avoiding bumping into several pairs of Pony legs. "Almost there!" She announces, hardly waiting for us to follow her. The buildings were tall, stone-foundations and wooden bracings, several archways overhanging the street, and each boasting plenty of signs and tapestries. Compared to Ponyville, it was nice to see everything actually had a verbal name, and not just a picture sign. Mostly.

The East-Side Equine Estate, predictably, has a sign depicting a solid silhouette of a Pony, surrounded by a horseshoe, with a large E cut out of the center. Sturdy pillars border its Pony-high fence, nestled alongside the other large buildings. A pretty chunky looking hotel, with a good half-dozen floors. It's bigger than I was expecting; and I think the same goes for Derpy, the way her eyes go wide.

Dinky folds up the pamphlet, handing it back to her mom as we cross through the open, archway-styled door.

The interior is styled off a mix of cream and a dark emerald, accented with a deep chocolate, with a long carpet leading from entrance to help-desk. There's a sizable lounge leading up to to said desk; all designed around being open and accommodating, for any of the three Pony tribes. On the left side, a Pool can be seen through a glass door, though most of it is out of sight. There's an open banquet area down the right, and behind the desk on each side, are the stairs. Balconies encircle the entirely on the inner, higher-level areas, maintaining a very open feeling for Pegasi to simply fly to their floor.

"Hello!" A chipper voice calls out from the desk, coming from a mint-green fur and speckled-brown maned Pony. They're wearing a button-collared shirt, hooves leant up on the desk.

Dinky, ever the cheerful little socialite, waves excitedly as we cross the lobby. 

"Welcome to the East-Side Equine Estate -- did you have a reservation?" The chipper pony smiles; even as their gaze rises up to me. I don't even see a twitch in their expression. Professional. 

"Uh, no -- we were told that walk-ins were alright? We didn't have time to send a reservation ahead." Derpy informs; a nervous flicker to her ears. I think this place looks a lot more expensive than she was expecting.

The desk-pony starts scrawling through a clipboard, tut-tuting and tapping a hoof. Page flip. Page flip. Page flip. 

"Hmmmmmm....." They hum. Derpy glances up at me, nervously. I just offer a shrug. There's other hotels around, worst comes to worst. Might have to check a few, with the close time-frame, but--

"Ah! We did have a cancelation; single Alicorn-Size suite, complete with in-suite complimentary bar and deluxe shower. One of the visiting presenters for the Career Fair couldn't make it, unfortunately; but quite fortunate for you! That's the only room we have available." They kindly inform, all the pages flipping back down.

Now Derpy looks at me with a very different worry worn on her face. First problem, that room was, for absolutely sure, outside of her budget. I don't think she's paid for anything with the word 'Deluxe' in it before, considering how her ears drooped when she heard the word. A room with a built in complimentary bar? On a Mail-mares budget? Not to mention the second problem; three of us. One bed. Dinky wasn't quite the issue here; I think the Filly would nap with either of us. But that was... a significant leap in our relationship, sharing a bed for a night.

"Are you certain there's nothing else?" Derpy tries to ask, stepping forward; but the clerk shakes their head.

"On such short notice, I'm afraid not, Ma'am. The single bed is not the issue, is it? I apologize if I had assumed that you and your husband would take issue with -- " They begin to inform, Derpy's eyes flashing wide at the word 'Husband'.

...Well, I'm not about to let this trip ruin itself before we've even had a chance to put our bags down.

Before the train ride, I would've found more issue with sharing a room like that. That was kind of a big step, you know; not for me, I literally just bummed my room to a Griffon for like, a week straight. More so for Derpy; I didn't want to push her into anything uncomfortable. 

But the way she so willingly comforted me on the train? I had a feeling, and I was going to play off it.

Also, this would be kind of funny.

"Why, Darling; why worry? It sounds delightful." I speak up suddenly, enjoying a particularly snobby accent. Dinky stifles a giggle, Derpy looking at me with sheer confusion; the clerk, however, ever the professional, locks in on me the moment I start speaking.

"Tell me about this room, and the services it implores, if you would be so kind." I wobble my head, trying to sound like the stick up my ass was threatening to exit from the other end.

"Anon, what are you -- " Derpy starts, but the Clerk is bold.

"Of course, Sir; for a simple 35 bits a night, we bequeath our guests with a complimentary breakfast, free access to the facilities, which include our delightful Pool and closed-off garden -- and for the suite available, a hostess bar for your own personal serving, with associated prices listed on the drinks. That doesn't even include the Deluxe-scale shower, which I might add -- may very well be a must for one of your stature." The clerk lists off. Derpy's entire demeanor seems to droop at the list, further as it grows.

That... hm. I don't think even I've paid for any of that kind of shit before. I'd buy plaid shirts and jeans, not rooms with built-in bars.

But I steal a side-glance at Derpy. For her? For that Filly of hers? I could do that. Wouldn't be pretty on my wallet; might have to play it light for a week or two when we get home -- but that sounded worth it, to me.

"And if I were to request extra blankets and pillows?" I respond, offering an expectant eyebrow raise.

Dinky is watching our conversation like a tennis match, glancing back and forth, grinning. Derpy does the same, though very much not grinning.

Derpy is staring at me now, realizing what I'm about to do.
"Anon. That's way too much! I can't--" She whisper-hisses.

"Of course, sir. Any remediation you or yours may require, for your... and I mean the utmost respect, but your unique physiology, we will be glad to handle in whatever capacity we can." The clerk affirms, nodding.

Honestly, they had me sold with the service. Maybe I wouldn't mind some pampering myself. A room actually built to fit me? Unheard of.

"Do us in for the weekend, would you? We'll be staying for the Fair. Oh, and you're still doing breakfast, yes?" I ponder, pompously, as I pull the bits from my bag.

"Absolutely. Hall opposite of the pool." They gesture with a hoof; displaying a quaint little banquet hall, with a few Ponies picking through the buffet tables. "It's open until ten in the AM." The Clerk nods, sliding our room key forward once by bits hit the desk. Some of the furniture in my house costed less, and I swear I can feel how much lighter I am without that chunk of change.

"Wonderful. Shall we, Darling?" I say sweetly; letting a little Rarity tinge my impression. Dinky is right on my heels, practically vibrating with excitement. 

Derpy trails after, a defeated, yet troubled expression sat on her face.
> Chapter 21 - East-Side Equine Estate
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door clicks shut behind us. Third floor, end of the hall, corner suite, room 33. View wasn't anything amazing, especially compared to the room itself; just a pair of windows showing a side street and some buildings, with the bustling crowds and festivities. That wasn't the draw of the room, though. That was the elaborate, wide bed that took up the middle of the room, practically the centerpiece. It looked big enough for me to sprawl out completely on, and be unable to touch each end. 

Sure, there was a pair of chairs, a table, a dresser, some light room-filling furniture like candles and such; but between that, and the elaborate bar that ran alongside the adjacent wall to the door, the priorities to this room were pretty clear. A good quarter of the room was dedicated to the bathroom, squared away just to the right of the entrance, opposite the bar.

I sling my pack off my back, dropped near the foot of the bed, the luggage I was carrying for Derpy soon following, nestled in place. Dinky is excitedly bouncing around the large room; oggling and looking at everything. Even the bathroom was sizable, once I got a chance to peek my head in. With a big shower wide enough to soak a Celestia-sized Pony, shower head mantled directly overhead, I couldn't help but whistle. Poorly, on account of my cheek.

"Anon. This is -- why? This is way too much, a-and one bed? I -- I mean, you didn't even correct them, w-we aren't--" Derpy starts to ramble, stood just behind me.

"Honestly, thirty-something bits for a room right beside the Fair street, day of the Fair? Pretty good." I muse, shutting the bathroom.

"Not thirty-five, SEVENTY! FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND! I-- you know I can't--" She exclaims, holding a hoof to her head with worry, breathing getting faster.

I kneel down, wobbling a little as I balance, and start to help her take off her purse-bag, sliding the luggage aside.
"That's why I did. My treat. I warned you I was going to pamper you." I tease softly, leaning close. "And the bed is why I asked for extra pillows and blankets. You'll have to forgive me for the one room, but bed's all for you and Dinky."

She looks at me with those same, big, concerned eyes I've come to get lost inside.
"...Why?" She asks, barely above a whisper.

"Told you, I'd be doing everything I can to make sure you and Dinky have a good time. And I'm pretty used to sleeping on things that aren't beds, at this point." I reassure. One of those chairs had my name written all over it. Just had to figure out which was the comfier one. One for putting my feet up, one for reclining into. Classic maneuver of the beliefs, a timeless choice.

"But w-we could have gone to another hotel..." She tries to protest. Too little, too late, bubble-butt.

"And waste time Hotel-hopping the day the Fair is starting? Nah, that's sheer luck we got this canceled room. Sounds like someone just has to get used to getting spoiled, like the gorgeous mare they are." I tease -- slowly, I raise a hand to stroke her cheek. She watches my hand, melting into it as my palm presses against her.

"You... I don't feel comfortable, letting you waste all these bits. A-and you know we're not going to get drunk or anything while we're here, right? Do you... do that kind of stuff?" She asks tentatively. I'm starting to realize just how many worries this sweet thing had bottled up; how many things she worries about on the daily. Even between us. She's making a big step of trust, even if she's fostering a lot of doubts.

"How could it be a waste when it's spent on the one Mare that deserves it? Big room, close access to the Fair -- bar is an unplanned plus, and that Pool sounds nice for the end of the day. And I'm a flavor-drink guy, myself. Might try a sip from something, otherwise... no, I don't like going too far. Don't like the loss of control." I admit, smiling; trying to reassure. Me and drink weren't a combination I was a fan of. 

Derpy seems to search my face for a long moment, eventually closing her eyes. She steps forward, lifting her head from my hand, and nuzzling her head into my neck.
"Promise?" I hear her ask, muffled.

I kiss the top of her head softly.
"I'd never lie to you. Best thing that's happened to me since I got here." 

A long, wistful sigh escapes Derpy; she pulls back slightly, and kisses me. A quick peck, right on the lips. She looks relieved.

"Flatterer. You call me crashing through your window the best thing?"

"Absolutely; stuck your butt right in my face. How could I not --" I tease, earning a playful smack on the shoulder for my games.

"That's enough out of you. As fun as it would be to sit here and flirt all day; you remember why we're here? Your promise?" She chastises; still smiling.

"Sure do. What's on the planner? Breakfast, then hit the Fair?"

"They did say it was compli--cocomentary!" Dinky squeaks loudly from the bed, bouncing on it; no matter where she aims, she sinks into the massive mattress, before launching several feet up into the air, giggling all the while. A stern but playful glance from Derpy gets her settled, sinking into the cushions.

"They sure did, Dinkster. Hungry?" I call over; the Filly nods rapidly, struggling to emerge from the depths of the bed, clawing forward with her hooves like she was fighting for her life in a pit of quicksand.

I turn back to Derpy, her face still close.
"I'm sorry, if I pushed you into anything you weren't comfortable with or ready for." I admit softly. "You dictate the pace, you tell me what you're not comfortable with. I just wanted to make sure you and Dinky had what you need so you could enjoy the trip; a little pampering included."

She smiles at me, using her wings to pull me into another kiss -- this one lasts a little longer, a little breathier.
"...I appreciate that. And you, Anon. Just... don't rush into things, okay? Let me get my say." She requests, watching me expectantly.

"Of course." I affirm -- only to feel a Filly tackle my back, leaning around me. The Dinkster escapes her sleepy-bound bonds.

"Stop mushing faces and let's GOOO! I'm HUNGRY!" Dinky complains loudly, getting an awkward cough out of me and Derpy, throwing each-other amused looks as we part, myself standing. Dinky dangles from me, wriggling.

I reach around myself, grabbing up Dinky like a football, swinging her around to my front.

"They shall know Dinky; for she will be the tallest." I hear the little filly mutter, as she starts to clamber up out of my grip, to my shoulders. I reaffirm the concerned glance from Derpy as she settles in, clinging to my neck.

"Settled in, oh tallest Monarch of Height?" I playfully ask, making sure she's got a good wrap-around of my neck. She's partially tucked into my jacket, helping keep her in place.

"Yes!" She beams, kicking her little hooves in excitement.

I can't tell what squeezed my heart more; how adorable this filly was being, or the approving look Derpy gave me after.





Well, Dinky's not coming down anytime soon. We're down in the Banquet area, which is fairly quiet, mind for a few individuals and small groups, most having already hit breakfast. Despite not getting the first wave of goods, we've got a good selection.

I'm leant over in front of the breakfast buffet tables, letting Dinky ogle the selections as she hums, deep in thought. 

"Pancake, or Waffle?" I hear her mutter. Truly, a debate for only the wisest Philosophers.

If Ponies ate meat, I'd introduce this kid to chicken nuggets. Probably get a kick out of those.

Speaking of meat -- the Clerk apologized, but since this establishment was themed for caring and comforting Equines specifically, they didn't have any meat on selection. At this point, I never expect it on any menu. I'm just glad they put in tall ceilings for the Pegasi that want to fly, so I'm not cracking my skull on doorframes.

Which brings a thought to mind, as another Pegasi flaps over the banquet line to join another at a table. Comparatively, Derpy only seems to fly when she's running her route, otherwise she prefers walking. My guess is because of her accident-prone-ness and precaution, but I'm not gonna bring it up. I like when she walks alongside me.

I think I've thought it before -- but she's sturdy for a Pegasi. They're usually more lithe, athletic. My guess was between mixed parents, and her physically-orientated career. She isn't outright toned; but I don't often see her break a sweat, and she's got some meat on her bones, hints of muscle visible when she does certain things.

Especially in the flank. Of which she catches me staring at it. Like, at this exact moment. Had to keep myself busy while Dinky peruses for herself, anyhow.

A playful huff escapes her, teeth currently holding one of the buffets paper plates.
"Eyesh awhn dhe fhood." I hear her mutter.

I slowly smile, my eyes not moving. Her eyebrows furrow.
"Dhe buffhey fhood." She clarifies;  I make an exaggerated 'Ohhh', smiling -- and I see the corners of her mouth crease upward, shaking her head.

Dinky decides, in a brilliant move, to take both; as well as several sugary confectioneries, packing it in while the getting is good. Truly, a revolutionary in the field of greater thinking. Her plate sits on the top of my head, held securely by her magic. I don't ask why she can't just float it beside us; such would be treason. It's clear, as she is the self-proclaimed Princess of the Tall, I am but her loyal table.

Derpy seems intent on dabbling, too; she's got some things a little too leafy-green for my own taste, and a muffin. I don't think either of them get to eat out very much, and on Derpy's budget, I don't they can afford to mix things up a lot. That's a mixed feeling for me. 

Now that I'm working for Rarity, I'm making enough bits to live comfortably; but that's kind of a luxury job, and I don't actually know anything about Derpy's budget or cost of living. Just that she's alluded to it not being very much. But that's not a topic that's any of my business asking. If she wants to tell me, she will; instead, I'll continue to plan enjoyable Sundays, making new foods together for breakfast, and pampering her and her kid where I can.

Myself, my plate is loaded with one of the few Pony food items I can actually stand. Potato wedges. Whole plate of the fuckers. 

I don't even dip into the sweets; I'm astounded these horses don't all have diabetes, the way they inhale sugar, but my sweet tooth died months ago, and rarely resurfaces. I'm glad, because it would have been my teeth and blood pressure that died instead, if it didn't go first. I think the last sugary thing I ate was that Milkshake from our Cafe date.

We find our way to an empty table; it takes some convincing to get Dinky to relinquish her shoulders-throne, but the promise that she can return when she's done eating seems to do it, settling her down beside her mom. There's only a few other groups actually still in the breakfast area, most already shuffling out for the Fair. The dining room itself is quite pretty; not as elaborate as the lobby, but it shifts the bright cream color for a darker, warmer tone to inspire comfort.

"So what's the game plan -- start at one end of the road, and just bumble between Booths?" I ask, shoveling wedges into my waiting mouth. I tend to chew with my right teeth more; less of a mess that way.

"I was thinking we try going down one side of the street today, come back, then tomorrow, go down the other way." Derpy fields, chewing at her own food. 

"Or we just see where we end up!" Dinky offers, half a waffle dangling out of her mouth, syrup dribbling. Her fork floats around her head, tinted in her little lavender glow.

"Oh, Dinky -- " Derpy mutters, looking for a napkin.

I've already got mine, leaning over to grab Dinky's squishy little face, getting the schmutz off her cheeks once she's got the chunk of waffle out of her mouth, and back on the plate. 

Her face scrunches, trying to resist; but she's not match for the schmutz-cleaner, the syrup quickly defeated.

"Slow down, Dinky. It isn't going anywhere." Derpy chuckles, shaking her head. She gives me a thankful look.

"But I WANNA GO!" Dinky exclaims, pouting. Think that nap on the train is backfiring.

Can't fault the kid for being excited, though; her Mom's been gassing her up about the trip for a while now, I'd bet.

"You won't get to see the Fair at all if you choke on your food, either; cut your food up first." Derpy warns, throwing in a little of that stern voice. 

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay." Dinky drones out, using her magic to start sawing the waffle into smaller chunks.

I give Derpy an approving, pursed-lip nod, throwing in a playful golf-clap for her firm parenting.

"Don't you start." She teases, shaking her head.



 

Breakfast went good, and quickly. With our belongings stored safely in the room, other than the necessities, we were ready to hit the Career Fair; Derpy had her little purse bag, and I had what I needed in my pockets. Dinky had her vibrant, syrup-fueled personality.

Said Dinky was back up on my shoulders, her little hooves stuck on my head; her cheeky little grin plastered on her face. 

"Are you sure you're alright with her being up there?" Derpy asks, looking up at her daughter as she trots beside me. We clear the entrance to the hotel, heading back up the side road towards the Fair proper. The distant ambience of conversation and excitement is already audible.

"She weighs like, nothing. You Ponies are way lighter than I ever expected. And I've got a good grip on her." I nod, giving the Dinkster a little poke in the side as I hold her back-hooves, tucked on each side of my neck. She giggles, wiggling in place.

"Plus, A tier view of the whole place. But if you want her staring at Pony butt the whole Fair, I can put her down." I tease.

"Ewww!" Dinky sticks her tongue out.

"Only if you're alright with it. Dinky -- try not to move around too much, okay?" Derpy warns, and Dinky nods enthusiastically, instantly doing the opposite.

We exit out of the opposite end of the side street we'd entered originally, and hit the main stretch of the Fair. And it is packed.
> Chapter 22 - Career Fair
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say the main street was packed? Actually, a massive understatement. They weren't kidding about Ponies visiting from everywhere for this thing.

Booths line both sides of the sizable Canterlot main road; the stonework host to cloth-covered tables, and stands presenting every bit of tidbit any pony could fit on there. Each booth has its own gathering and shifting crowd, each demonstrating their own unique draw.

The street lamps and buildings are decorated with strings of flags and banners that stretch between the other, big posters and artworks mantled on any open space. Very few of them are actually decorated to match any one booth, mostly just being the usual flair that's laid out for events or festivals. 

The Castle, usually the distant epicenter of attention, the entrance just up a few upturned roads, was difficult to see past all the fanfare. The sky was also filled with Pegasi, spelling out advertisements and the like; pretty sure there's some kind of O-shape cloud up there, with a few Pegasi circling it. Wonder what that's for.

The crowd is a constant flow down the center, heading up and down the road, while smaller groups break off to check what each little section has to offer. Ponies from all over are here, gathered for the weekend; Nobles mix with regular Ponyfolk, some with clothes or outfits, some dressed up matching their jobs.

It's a lot. Pretty overstimulating, too.

But, I've got a little pair of hooves brushing my ears, and a familiar grey wing reaches up to keep in touch with me, so we don't get lost in the roaming crowds; it helps keep me rooted.

I look down to Derpy, who looks about as overwhelmed as I am with the whole affair. Standing around isn't going to accomplish much.
"Alright, Lady Regent of Height. Lead away." I joke, giving Dinky a little jostle. Her excited gaze flits over the various booths, and I swear I can hear the little gears whirring in her brain as she ranks them into an order. Thankfully for both of us, the kid was decisive.

"That one!" She squeaks, a little lavender hoof sticking out past my face as she jabs forward, leaning against my head.

And away we go.





Well, the first one she pointed out was the Longmane Lumberjack Association; a Lumber operation showcasing their newest axes and wood-cutting techniques. Primarily Earth Ponies, Pegasi and Unicorns had some unique options for job types under their care, mostly related to safety using their wings or magic. Derpy is a little confused why Dinky chose this one first; but that clears up the way her eyes are glued to the axes.

They even had a stack of logs for interested parties to try and take a swing at, getting a good swing of the axes and making a fun thing out of it. Ponies that actually got through the log were given a hat, with the company logo stamped on the front.

Not sure if Derpy should be worried that Dinky locked in on Axes first thing out of the Fair, but, at least the kid had good taste. Solid blue-collar work right there; couldn't go wrong with that.

My hikes and hunting trips had taught me a thing or two about scavenging with a handaxe, and I've chopped wood before; but the scale of Lumber work was beyond me. Dinky was a little young to get a chance to swing one of their test-axes around herself, but she showed such an excitement for absorbing everything they were willing to tell her about the stuff, they gave her a hat anyway. It was a smidge too big for her, sitting slanted on her head.

Derpy sighs in relief; axe-wielding can come later, when she's a little bigger. Or, as Derpy would prefer, never.





Pit stop a Candy Apple booth; some younger looking Ponies are working the stand, selling Apples dipped in a variety of things. Chocolate, Caramel, Sprinkles -- they even have Deep Fried? Damn, just like home.

Dinky is ravishing one of the Candy Apples in my right ear, so I have to remember to sweep off crumbs off my shoulder every few moments. Derpy and I split one ourselves, passing it back and forth. She kind of wanted one, but didn't want to get a whole one to herself, so I agreed to share it with her.

Her wings do this adorable little twitchy-flap thing whenever she takes a bite. She ends up eating most of it; couldn't help it, I was having too much fun watching her eat it, and like hell I was gonna say anything about it.





Color me surprised to find some Griffons; it wasn't one of the stalls that Dinky pointed out, only noticing it myself while passing it by. They're not hosting a particularly popular booth, at the moment; wonder if that's because they're Griffons, or the topic of their stall. Their banner reads the Griffonia East-Coast Expeditionary Fishing Foundation. Quite the mouthful. Or beak-full, in this case.

I pause beside it, Dinky tilting off my head in equal curiosity. Most of the Ponies were giving them a wide berth; but I think Dinky got used to Dina real quick, as I find the filly politely waving to them.

The Griffon manning (griffoning?) the front of the booth seems surprised at the attention, waving a talon back. Derpy trails back up behind us, curious.

The Griffon is more than happy to explain; apparently, they're permitted to fish along the Eastern Equestria coastline thanks to a trade treaty, since Ponies don't really consume fish-products. Part of the treaty let's them not only bring Griffons from Griffonia over, but also hire Ponies; so they try to participate in the Career Fair to spread awareness and promote positive interspecies relations. They don't often get much interest, but the treaty plays an important part in Pony-Griffin peacetime relations.

The best part? They had samples. I got some weird looks for the noises I made when I finally got to taste proper, cooked fish again. Oh, it has been too long. Doing any kind of survivalist harvesting that wasn't just fruits or nuts was a pain; Fluttershy was a natural ward to any actual attempt at hunting or fishing, the way she'd throw out those big sad eyes. Didn't help that everything in the forest was borderline sapient. I guess not fish, though.

Derpy, surprisingly, actually tried some. Ponies have a heavy bias towards a Vegetarian / Herbivore diet, but, are capable of consuming some meats, apparently. She didn't seem quite the fan. Dinky, as politely as possible, stuck her tongue out and made a 'Bleh' noise, not interested. I don't think the Griffons were offended; I think they just enjoyed the interaction, waving goodbye as we carried on. I liked Griffons.





The Food theme continued as Dinky pioneered me forward, charting new waters as a shoulder-sat little Captain. The next few booths seemed to be set up almost in competition of the other; two cooking schools, making trays of samples while each of the respective Head Chefs explained their unique curriculum to the interested Ponies; who got looped into listening on the free snacks.

One read the Vanhoover Dining Experience, a Culinary School & Restaurant Combo that boasted how Ponies would get hooves-on experience working in a respected establishment, producing Vanhoover's finest. Their Ponies are decked in navy-blue chef uniforms, and have a more Metropolitan flair to their style. 

In contrast, the Canterlot Culinary School is repping it's home-court in sleek white uniforms, boasting their Noble setup in comparison, making elaborate and likely expensive dishes, with relatively smaller portions.

One shows city-food, one shows noble-food, and visiting Ponies get to snack on both while they glare at each-other from across their booths, throwing petty insults, competitive glares and, what I assume to be, rude pony gestures along the way.

A win-win for everybody. Derpy herself seems more partial to Vanhoover's more substantial 'food for the working pony', while Dinky's eyes go wide for the elaborate, fancy upper-class Canterlot plating. Neither are serving potato wedges, so I don't really care, myself.

I don't think cooking is in the cards for Dinky, though; Derpy tried to prompt Dinky to check out each, but the only thing she was intent on 'checking out' were the sample platters, making me reach and lift snacks up to her for her to try. Doesn't seem like Dinky is the competitive type; probably why neither of the schools actually caught her interest.





Further ahead was another fancier booth, dedicated to taking up two entire stalls themselves; rather than food, though, their 'samples' involved a small, continual orchestral performance, most of their dedicated space set up for the small band sat in a semi-circle, the Conductor taking moments in between performances to answer questions and hand out pamphlets.

The Manehatten Musical Academy; specializing in String, Brass and Wind instruments. Though a quick glance at their pamphlet showed they had courses and classes for most mainline instruments, for those with a less career-centric, and more hobby-focused interest. I heard a few requests to try some of the instruments, but thankfully, they're pretty stingy about doing anything more than showing them off, pulling them back whenever an excited foal or pony tries to reach for them. I think they even write out a 'Do-Not-Touch' sign, slapping it to the front of their booth. My ears appreciated that.

The way I catch Derpy watching the Orchestra, leaning back and forth with the music, gives me a date idea that I mentally tuck away for later; giving her a night to be a fancy mare might be a good move. Dinky is just waiting for the cymbalist to crash his cymbals together, throwing her hooves up and cheering every time he does. It's a good thing I'm hanging onto her back legs, or she'd have thrown herself backwards off of me already. The cymbalist seems to appreciate having a fan.





We stop for another break, finding an open bench; good to get a moment to rest my leg. It's already nearing noon, and today, time is flying. There's so much going on, with the Ponies, the noises, the stalls, the confectionaries, the patrols. Dinky isn't even heavy, but maneuvering around so many Ponies takes some effort. We haven't even made much distance from the hotel, with it still just being a few streets over; there's just so many booths and so much going on. For every one we pass that doesn't interest us, another three get us to pause and check them out.

Dinky still doesn't want to come down off my shoulders. She's having a blast up there, wriggling back and forth, hooves held against the sides of my head, funny little logger cap sitting on her head. They'd cut a hole out of the front of it for Unicorns, so her horn sticks out of it.

Derpy settles in beside me, curling up on the bench and enjoying the breather. She's been doing really good avoiding bumping into ponies; having me around to keep an eye on Dinky means she can let her focus slip without worry.

Across from us, there's a stall dedicated to the Royal Guard; they've got a recruitment station, where interested Ponies can take a shot at a summarized, compartmentalized version of the Royal Guard Entry Exam. They've got weights on a sled to pull, a pull-up bar (watching the Ponies try to use it... I have to ignore how odd it is for their physiology, or my head is going to start hurting), a square set aside for sparring with padded weapons, the whole works. A few of the Royal Guard are posted to it, making light conversation with some of the Ponies waiting in line to give the little course a shot.

A more decorated Royal Guard, with a plume flared back over his helmet, currently shouts, motivates and berates some of the Ponies mid-trial. One dangles from the pullup-bar, struggling to get up. Another has done a few push-ups, and is already gasping for breath. I guess most of the Ponies stamina came from their movement, not bursts of effort like this; it's not like Canterlot is the center for labor-centric jobs either.

I've been to Canterlot a few times, but it's hard to recognize any of the guards; they have an enchantment on their armor that makes them look similar, or something. Wasn't really paying attention to that info-dump from Twilight. I try to, but I was a little whelmed that day. I think one of them is staring at me, though. 

"You said you were in something like the Royal Guard, right?" I hear Derpy ask; she's been watching them too, glancing at me. "Did they do this kind of thing too?"

"Army, yeah. Recruitment drives are constant; they'd show up to schools, run ads, the works. Always looking for fresh bodies. Wasn't as glamorous or prolific as these guys, though." I explain, gesturing across the road to the guards. 

Honestly, they reminded me of those Queens Guard in England, the way they're usually posted about, almost like they were more about discipline and image. I didn't doubt they were capable, though; they had these Ponies sweating.

Dinky pats my head several times.
"You should do it, Mister Muss! I bet you'd be the best at it! How many pull ups can you do?!" She goads, eyes glued to the their little testing ground. 

I snort, shaking my head. I'd generally kept up with my fitness, but I was not in my army prime; pretty sure the general lack of red meat didn't help much either. 
"Oh, like, at least two. Maybe two and a half on a good day." I tease, the Filly -- is she rubbing my ears? I flick her hooves. Stop that. That felt weird.

"No, I've done my time. Never sparred with a Pony, anyway; they'd probably just buck my knees, and I'd fold like a sack of bricks." I joke, getting a giggle out of Dinky. Getting into a tussle with a creature whose main force of power was angled perfectly between my knees, and my crotch, wasn't my idea of a good time. 

Though I'd be lying if I hadn't thought about the process numerous times. Maybe if I had a long stick or something, though. I could win the reach game. Or throw a rock. My ancestors were good at that. If I got one in a chokehold, they were probably done for.

"I think you'd do better than you give yourself credit for." Derpy says softly, placing her hoof on my thigh, interrupting me from my very uncommon, definitely not usual thoughts. 

"Sweet; but nah. If I keep myself bathed in critical self-doubt, I won't be disappointed when I fail, and I'll be pleasantly surprised if I succeed." I impart wisely, getting a bemused scoff from Derpy.

"Inspiring." She snorts. "Don't teach that to my daughter."

"What about you? Get into any sports or that kind of a thing as a foal?" I ask; one hand still gripped on the excited wriggler leaning on my head, I place my other hand on Derpy's outstretched hoof.

I catch her gaze looking upwards, towards the clouds wistfully. She hums softly.

"Mommy was FAST." I hear Dinkster whisper in my ear, opposite of Derpy; like it was a secret. It takes Derpy a second, but she lets out a long, memory-ridden sigh, still staring upward.

"When I was a Filly, I lived in Cloudsdale with my Dad, attending an advanced flight-school; Rainbow Dash went to the same one, actually. Cloudsdale's Program For The Prodigal Pegasi. For a Pegasus, it's all about flying. Not just speed, but control, turns, endurance, high-flying, low-flying; Pegasi who could excel in one of those categories, or multiple, had several real opportunities line up for them." She explains, still cloud-gazing. "Weather Control, the Weather Factory, Sky-Flying Fire-Fighting; even the Wonderbolts. You know what those are, right?"

I nod. I've seen one of their shows. From the ground, but still, quite the stuff. Really reminiscent to those Airshows at home; minus the giant metal machines blast their way through the sky. I won't say it aloud; but I thought it was cooler with the jets. Sure, the Ponies can stop in place and bank pretty hard, but they don't have that roar when they soar past the crowd, the power you feel from that engine.

"Every month, there would be competitions in those various categories, getting Pegasi to train up their various skills, almost like an exam. One month, top speed. The next, turn control. Honestly, the Academic side has always taken a back-hoof in Cloudsdale schools." She continues to explain, glancing between me, and a group of Pegasi that soar over the buildings. Sounds like a sports scholarship back on earth. "And I was... well, top of my class, actually, if you can believe it." She admits, a little bashfully.

"I believe it. I've seen you go--you get some speed. Well, until you hit my couch, but you haven't missed yet." I grin, and she gives me a coy look. "Probably the opposite in Unicorn schools, yeah?" I offer, curious as I point to the Dinkster on my shoulders. Derpy nods.

"I think so. Don't see why they'd need to focus physical things like Earth or Pegasus Ponies." She agrees. "Though right now, her schooling is general academia. History, Mathematics, Science. I'd love to get her into a Unicorn School, though."

"All-in on the Magic." I also agree. 

I hear Dinky whisper "Because magic is the best." in my ear. Cheeky.

"But how did that end up with you being a Mail-Mare in Ponyville?" I ask, shifting my position and leaning my prosthetic leg across my other knee, taking the weight off.

"Well... Raindow and I--" She purses her lips, contemplating. Reminiscing? "...I got too cocky, and took a turn harder than I should have. For that month, it was an obstacle course; they'd put up things for us to dive around, through, avoid, routes to find the fastest path. Which meant for the first time, it wasn't just clouds on the track. We were the advanced course, after all -- we should've been ready for it. I, should have been ready for it." She explains, one of her Hooves roaming to her head. She lifts her Mane, showing her scalp; where there's the faintest, faded scar buried in her fur, right where her forehead meets mane, above her eyebrow.

"I hit one of those obstacles hard enough, and I went from second place on the last lap; to waking up in the hospital. The nurse said I burst a blood vessel behind my eye, smacked my head trying to bank too hard on the turn. Recovery took a while, and I didn't heal quite right. I couldn't... keep up, anymore, and I didn't know why. Found out why, later though; I got diagnosed with Strabismus, and it slowly kept getting worse." She sighs, swallowing. A heavy topic for her, I'm sure. "Couldn't quite keep up like I used to; Rainbow Dash overtook me as lead prospect, and my Dad--" She pauses.

"...Once I fell down enough of the rankings, I moved to Ponyville with my Mom a not long after. Got a job in town, same one she had; been a Mail-Mare since." Derpy finishes, looking up at me. She seems at peace with it, at least, to some degree. 

I move my hand from resting on her hoof, to her cheek, stroking it with my thumb.
"Can't be an easy thing to talk about; but thanks for telling me. On the other hoof, how does it feel reigning in another year as Ponyville's prettiest Mail-Mare?"

There's that bashful smile; but it's weak, tinged with sadness. She shakes her head, leaning into my hand and nuzzling my palm.
"You told me about you, so... I want to try and be more open with you. It's... good, getting to speak about these things; like you said, no point in wishing things were different. And, better I get to say it before Dinky tells you herself." She teases, throwing her Daughter, still sat on my shoulders, a toying stare. Dinky snickers; my little informant was outed.

Across from us, one of the Royal Guards posted at their Recruitment Booth, whispers to the one that had been looking in our direction. They nod, trotting and merging into the crowd, heading for the castle.





After that nice break, and fairly deep, interpersonal moment, we're back on the move. The Fair is well into full swing, the sun overhead peering through the clouds. Besides advertisements and whatever that elongated donut cloud is, they're arranged to try and provide a few spots of shade, since a fair amount of Ponies were probably going to be out and about for long stretches. Derpy is back to my side, hip bumping into my leg every few moments, Dinky still clinging to me on my shoulders. 

One of the Booths makes me double-take; for a second, I thought I saw Nurse Redheart, but its another Mare dressed similarly, with a near-same coat color.

Their Booth a big red cross, the Hoof N' Heart Hospital is apparently offering courses to those interested in the medical fields, granting direct internship to learn alongside the best. They've got a few demonstrations of the tools they use, showing them off to interested members, and describing their locations and work they do. 

"Any interest in being a Nurse, Dinkster? Or a Doctor. Neurosurgeon? Therapist?" I ask aloud, peeking up out of the corner of my eye as I ramble out pricy college-degree jobs. Dinky leans down into my view, pursing her lips.

"Hmmmmm..." She hums dramatically. "I dunno." 

"If you become a Neurosurgeon, you can poke at peoples brains." I advise, getting an interested nod from the filly.

"People usually enter Medical professions to help people, Dinky." Derpy informs, glancing up. Dinky shakes her head.

"Nah. Brain-poking sounds cooler." She affirms; we share a hoof-fist bump, at Derpy's expense.

Derpy sighs, shaking her head, laughing softly. As long as her daughter was engaged and having a good time, than Derpy was happy too.





As we're walking, I notice there's a distinct lack of a grey-colored flank bumping into my leg every few moments, and a certain Dinkster tugging at my ears. That's not right. Where'd my favorite flank go? I squint, pausing and turning.

Derpy is stopped a few feet back, staring wistfully at something. It's the Wonderbolt's Recruitment Booth. There's a few of those tracksuit-wearing high-fliers sat around a table; a few pamphlets, photos of notable fliers. And funny enough, a familiar head of rainbow-colored mane. They've got a sign pointing upwards; hanging pretty low, close to the houses, is that weird O-shaped cloud I saw earlier. It clicks, as I see Pegasi appear now and then from the edges of it; it's a racing course for the winged Ponies.

I meander back beside Derpy, watching as Rainbow Dash darts upward, off to test the track herself. 

"Wanna give it a lap?" I say aloud, glancing down at her. She startles, snapping out of her stare, quickly shaking her head.

"No, no. I couldn't. We're here for Dinky. Come on, let's--" Derpy starts, quick to shut the idea down, turning to start walking again. Dinky taps my shoulder. I step in front of her, blocking her.

She glances up at me, a mixture of confusion, and a frown settling on her face. I speak up before she can say anything.

"I'm not gonna sit here and try to force you, or anything. I get it. The doubt. The time that's passed. But whose to say you can't just... take five minutes, and run that track for old times? I know how damn good of a flyer you are." I encourage, giving her a reassuring smile. I meant it, too; I wouldn't try to force her. If she wanted to go, we'd go. But it's not like opportunities like these, for things that have passed, rear their head very often.
"Wouldn't it be fun just to see how fast you can go?"

Dinky nods rampantly on top of my head, all for the idea. Derpy doesn't seem so easily convinced.

"Anon, these are recruitment drives. They're looking for candidates. Young, fresh candidates. Not old Mares like me." She objects, shaking her head.

"Old Mare? Right." I snort. "You know that these are as much for spreading awareness and building local rapport, as they are for actually recruiting? It's about having fun, getting Ponies involved, getting Ponies interested. They don't care; look at that guy." I point -- an older Pegasi couple are already on their way up to check the track out, being escorted by one of the Wonderbolts.

"Well, I... I can't just leave you and Dinky down here. This is supposed to be about Dinky, and neither of you even have any wings --" She continues to try and protest, but her retorts continue to weaken and falter.

"You cool with waiting for your Mom while she rocks the track, Dinkster?" I interrupt, jostling el Dinkadore.

"What, wait for my Mom to win, like, all the first places?" She nods again, grinning. "Get 'em, Mom!" Dinky beams, pointing a hoof towards the Wonderbolt booth.

Derpy sighs, looking between the two of us. With hesitation, her gaze slowly shifts, staring up again. I follow her stare -- the rainbow blur of a particularly memorable pony is visible, darting in and out of the clouds. For a second, I was worried it might off put her; but I think I see a twinkle of a competitive side of Derpy that I haven't seen before. Her wings are twitching, nose glued to the same directions as Rainbow Dash. Even when she isn't visible, Derpy's stare matches her, right in the right place whenever she peeks out from the cloud. Derpy's still got that little bit of a spark in her.

"Go for it, Derpy. I've got the Dinkster. We'll stay nearby, peruse the close booths. Think I saw something about Unicorns a few booths up." I push, for that final nudge. Go for it, Derpy.

"...You sure? Promise?" She asks quietly. I can see how she's practically raring to go. She might deny herself a lot of things; but she deserves this.

"Go for it, beautiful. Show 'em what you've got." I smile; how could I not. 

Derpy's wings unfurl, taking to the air -- in a moment, she's already in my face. She reaches up past me, and plants a kiss on Dinky's forehead, getting a giggle from the Filly; when I find her hooves grabbing the side of my head next, followed by a big, wet smack on my face, smiling. Beaming, practically.
"Alright. I'll go for a lap. But only one! I'll be back in a few -- like, five minutes, tops! Stay close!" She affirms; I take the purse from her, slinging it over my own shoulder.

"Like we'll be hard to spot. Knock 'em out of the sky, Derpy." I nod, smile still glued to my face.

She flaps over to the booth; it's a short conversation, and in moments, one of the Wonderbolts is is escorting her up; and for a moment, they fall behind, having to kick it up a notch to keep up, surprising them. Oh shit.

"...I bet she could've gone pro." I mutter aloud.

"Mom said she was a... Wonder-Cadet, when she was in school." Dinky agrees, both of our eyes glued to the grey-furred Mare that disappears into the clouds.

...Yeah, I really want to get her some prescription goggles or something as a gift. I think that Mare is missing out; last time she buzzed with that much excitement was our date-night. That would probably get me big brownie points.

We both stare up at the track for a few moments longer, before glancing around. Just me and the Dinkster, now.

"Alright Dinky-Doo-Da. What do you wanna see next?" I hum, glancing over the other stalls.

"...Are those throwing axes?" Dinky asks, pointing towards a H.E.M.A (Historic Equestrian Martial Arts) Foundation's Booth. When the fuck were Ponies throwing axes? 

"Uh, fuck yeah it is. You ever thrown an axe?"

"Nuh uh."

"Don't tell your Mom."

She drags a hoof across her lips, making a zipping noise.
> Chapter 23 - Grace
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------





Derpy


I feel... graceful, for the first time in a long time.

I can't remember the last time I got a chance to soar through the clouds like this.

I was worried, at first... but knowing Anon has Dinky, I trust him. I barely hear the Wonderbolt that's trying to instruct me; it's all coming back to me. I let my wings spread, crouching down and launching from the starting line.

My turns aren't perfect, and I'm not my prime speed; but I'm already pulling ahead of some of the other participants. 

But I don't care about that. The smile hasn't left my face. This is... fun. Lately, has been fun. I can't remember the last time I had such a good time. Sure, I puff through the clouds that border the course once or twice while getting used to it, but I don't care.

Lap, after lap; it was hard to figure the course the first time, but by the second and third, I've got it plotted out. Sweep under the bend, hard bank left, and I can catch better speed when I pull it tight.

It's all clouds, up here. Nothing to bump into, other than other flyers; but I don't even feel like i have to worry about that.

My mane is flowed back, wings wide. I fly through Ponyville, sure. But I haven't flown like this in years. 

A blue blur -- Rainbow Dash -- cuts in beside me, giving me an incredulous look, yelling something about how she's surprised to see me. I barely hear her-- seeing her kickstarts something in my chest. It makes me want to kick it up another gear. 

The smile is wide on my face as I do, putting several hooves of distance between us; I glance back, seeing Dash grinning in realization. She kicks it up a notch herself, closing the gap.

We rip forward, soaring through the course again. Again. Again. She's faster than me; but my skills always been my control; my turns, keeping her from getting too far ahead. 

Again.

The gap continues to close; she keeps glancing back, and the surprise on her face fuels me even more.

Again. 

Another lap; the other participants have moved aside.

Again.

I'm not even counting laps at this point. I feel like a Filly again, like I just stepped a decade into the past.

Again.





Anon & Dinky


Well, if Dinky ever wants a career in HEMA, Historical Equestrian Martial Arts, she's pretty much got it in the bag. Kids got a personalized Pamphlet, and now a second hat, to sit on top of her loggers hat. A filly in two hats is a pretty funny sight.

I think this kids got a thing for axes, considering the little show she put on there, impressing the Pony present at the booth. Unlike the Logging booth, these guys were willing to let her take a swing. Not exactly sure how that lines up, but if I was a gambling man, I think I've figured out what her cutie mark is gonna be. 

Apparently, Ponies had some viking-style ancestors; while that's just one facet of their history, it's the only one Dinky seems to care about. Funny visual, imagining the Filly decked in a hauberk, beard and axe, rocking a longship.

Derpy's been gone for... probably a good twenty minutes, maybe even half an hour. I need a watch. I'm glad, though; means she's getting a kick out of it. Five minutes my ass; and I'm happy about it. She needs that kind of release. She can stay up there all day, for all I care. I saw that excitement, that smile. I want to see it again.

"Mister Muss. Can I have an axe? What about a hatchet?" Dinky continues to pester; ever since we left the booth, she want's something viking-esque. I think she's a little young, but...

"...If I promise to get you one, and I teach you how to use it after school, you promise to keep interested in whatever scholarship or apprenticeship your Mom sets you up with?" I offer tentatively.

Dinky nods vehemently, almost losing her two hats. 

"Alright, Kiddo. Our secret." I affirm, swearing her to secrecy. 

"Will you teach me your... wit-ling, too?" She asks softly, leaning against my head.

"Sure, kiddo. Good use of the wood you'll chop. Remember though; our secret."

She nods again, slumping against the back of my head. She's staring up at the clouds, too, trying to catch sight of her mom.
"Thanks for coming with us, Mister Muss. Mom was real worried about this whole thing." She mumbles.

My little informant, back at it again.
"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't really get it, but she says she wants to make sure that I get what she didn't get, or something. I dunno, she worries a lot and says stuff like that sometimes. This is fun, though!" She squeaks.

"You gotta stop airing out your moms dirty laundry, kiddo." I snort.

"I don't do anything with my moms laundry. Well, I help her wash it, sometimes. She has to use a heavy-duty detergent because she uses her uniform and saddlebag so much."

"...That's what I mean, Dinkster. Telling people stuff about your mom they wouldn't normally know."

"Oh, I don't! I only tell you because mom likes you so much. Like, really, really likes you. I saw her staring at the dress in her closet the other day, before she left for work. Remember the one she wore to the Cafe? She used to keep it in a box, but now she's got it in her closet again." She informs me, grinning. "Sometimes I even see her put it on, looking at herself in the mirror after work."

...Damn, okay. That got the heart going.

"...Your Mom likes me that much, huh?" I ask, trying to glance up at her. She just grins. This kid knows what she's doing.

"Alright. Now, what to do while we wait for your Mom..." I squint into the crowd, trying to give myself a distraction. Still a buttload of booths to check.

"What about that one? I think that ones for Unicorns, like Mom was saying." Dinky offers, pointing a few rows up. Canterlots Unicorn University.

"Good eye, kiddo. I think that's one of the main ones your Mom wanted you to get a look at. After we check it out, you want some ice cream or something?" I offer; I remember the Unicorn-focused University and Schooling stuff was important to Derpy. Can at least get a pamphlet or make sure the idea is firmly in Dinky's head.

"Okay! But -- Remember the deal." Dinky whispers, grinning.

...Maybe the HEMA thing wasn't the best idea. Well, as long as she doesn't get the Cutie Mark of a crosshair or a pair of axes or something, I should be good.





A wizened, older Unicorn in a robe sits at the Stall. Rather than a proper presentation or demonstration, or samples or some kind of game, he's simply sitting attentively, with a stack of pamphlets. Behind him, scrawled in glowing text, is a rolling description of the University, and some general info. It moves like the credits of a movie, fading out of existence once the words go too high; his horn glowing a soft blue, the words matching the hue. Neat.

He glances up as we approach, giving me an interested glance, before looking to the Filly on my shoulders. He's sat like a fancy little man, hooves pressed together like he'd have his fingers intertwined, if he had any.

"...Hm. Interesting." He hums as we pause in front of the table. "You might be the first creature I've seen to behold not a single ounce of Magic."

"So I've heard." I nod. "Not from around here."

"Oh? And what might you be?" He asks.

"Someone's already put scientific dibs on writing a scientific paper on me. Gotta wait for Twilight Sparkle's document to hit the science scene." I warn, holding up a palm. 

Within like, the first week of my arrival, Twilight had asked if she could have exclusive rights to work on a paper that touches on my species, and my unique situation in Equestria. For free access to the library, I agreed. Apparently, she's already on a second book about the topic of 'Me'. Haven't seen a page of it myself, yet.

"Princess Celestia's student? She's known in the community for her... odd but well detailed projects. I look forward to her submission, then. However, until it is revealed; would you do me the slight favor of a few simple answers? On my honor, I shall not impeach her works; I am but driven by curiosity." He continues, looking at me expectantly.

I point to the Filly hanging on to the back of my head.
"Gimme help towards putting her in school here, and I'll answer whatever you want." 

He purses his lips at the proposition.

"...Hm. I can see what I can do." He nods, extending a pamphlet towards me with his magic.
"This booth is to put awareness to the event the University is hosting tomorrow evening. While I can answer questions, the main bulk of the Univiersities efforts have been placed there, if she's interested in joining the ranks in her future."

I go to take the pamphlet, but a soft lavender glow yoinks it up towards Dinky's face, her own horn glowing. She peruses, making dramatic ho's and hums.

The University Unicorn looks towards her with interest.
"...She seems young, for such a proficiency. Is she yours?"

"Might as well be, with how much she hangs out with me." I snort. "No, Daughter of a friend; taking her around while she's busy."

"I see." He hums. "How active is she with her magics?" 

"Dinky, what's the type of magic where you grab stuff?" I ask, tilting my head. The pamphlet shifts in the air accordingly.

"Teelee-kee-sneesis." She responds simply.

"That one. All the time." I relay.

The Unicorn unclasps his hooves, stroking his chin like he had a beard. Actually, I think he's got one of those little goat squiggly beards. Didn't see it until now.
"...I would heavily recommend she visit the Event, tomorrow evening. The careful manipulation of varied objects is no small feat, especially so casually for one her age." He echoes; though this time, his tone carries less of your average explaining salesman, and is tinged with more intrigue. "I'll... put in a word, but the rest will be on her. But, now, if you don't mind; those questions I had..."

I can feel Dinky puff her chest out in pride. I won't say it, but I'm pretty sure she's just looking at the pictures on the pamphlet.





Hello again, comfortable bench. Derpy's been gone for almost an hour. I don't need to be worried, because I just need to glance up at the Wonderbolts cloud-track. Now and then, I see a peek of a speedy grey hide; almost keeping pace with a rainbow-colored blue hide. Every time there's a gap between them, they hit one of the rounded edges of the cloud, and she banks the turn hard, catching right up. I knew she was fast, but damn. I really think she could've gone pro. Maybe years of dodging things around Ponyville has been a latent form of training, or something.

Could make a movie out of that, honestly. Underdog Mail-Mare catching her stride again.

Dinky is sat beside me, during one of her rare dismounts, but for good reason. She's demolishing a very complex looking ice cream cone, and making a terrible mess. Good thing I grabbed near half their stack of napkins. Each bravely gives its life to stem the chocolate, fudge, sprinkle, cotton-candy mix that is her ice-cream abomination, before being discarded to the bin beside us. I swear, the ice cream stand vendor gave me a guilty look as he handed it over.

The treats around here are pretty cheap, thankfully. Wallet is holding out.

"So, Dinkster. Any of the booths click with you? Other than the one with Axes." I start, shifting to lean an arm over the back of the bench, leg kicked up again.

"Hmmmm...." She hums, sat on her little haunches. "The Griffons were cool! They reminded me of Miss Dina. Do you think I could be a Fisher-Pony?"

"Hmm... naval work like that tends to pay good Bits where I'm from, but it's not exactly the safest work, and doesn't have a high bar of entry for the lower positions. Maybe look into becoming a Captain of a fishing boat? That might make your mom proud." I offer, jostling my foot up and down.

My eyes roam over the crowd, the Fair still well underway. Somewhere in late-noon, we probably still had a couple hours before things started to wrap up for the day.

"My own boat? Hmm. I like that." She grins.

I think this kid would do well in a leadership role.

"What about instruments? Any of them interest you? I saw you liked that Cymbal stuff." I offer.

"Music was okay. I like listening to it, but they were kind of snooty." Dinky pouts. She was, unfortunately (for her, not so much for my ears), one of the Foals denied being allowed to try an instrument. 

"Think Chef is in your future?" I recount, trying to remember what else.

"Food was fun... I like cooking with Mom, but I don't know of I want to do that as my job-job. My home-job, maybe." She muses, before taking an egregious bite of her ice cream. Farewell, three more napkins. 

"You'd like to know how to cook, but not for a job?" I summarize, de-ice-creaming her face yet again, holding her chin so she won't move too much.

"That! Yeah!" She squeaks.

"Derpy and I could probably teach you on Sundays. We could do more than breakfasts." I offer. I doubt Derpy would mind, and I've been cooking for myself for years. I'm no Chef, but I can follow a recipe. "Plan out a different meal each week, make it with the three of us."

"Really?!" She beams, sprinkles all over her teeth.

"Sure. Check with your mom, though; and don't badger her about it. I want to make sure her Sundays are relaxing." I waggle a finger in her direction, before noticing a loose sprinkle on it. I flick it... somewhere. 

"I don't know about relaxing, but Mom gets all giddy on Saturdays now, pacing in place in her room and stuff. I think she's more excited than me about Sundays." Dinky shrugs, taking another big bite. I should start naming these napkin mass-cas's, to commemorate the losses. Battle of Cones Crunch. Dairy Harbor. 

Good to know Derpy likes Sundays as much as I do, though. I try to stifle the smile that creeps up on my face, thinking about it. No luck.
> Chapter 24 - Nonny
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

All out of napkins. Thankfully, Dinky is all out of Ice cream. We survived.

I'm checking the Pamphlet that Dinky got from the HEMA guys; they actually have some pretty decent historical roots throughout Equestria. While it's more ceremonial now since Equestria doesn't have a standing army -- apparently they once had a military similar to Knights and Lordships, according to pre-Luna-banishment texts. Ain't that something. 

Dinky, the true victim in her battle, is out cold, nestled up against my side and snoring, curled up in a cute little ball. Tucked under the flap of my jacket, she's doing that funny snore again. I guess she's been riding a sugar rush for the last few hours; after that ice cream, she sugar crashed, hard. She's been pretty busy for the last few hours, so it tracks.

"Excuse me; are you Mister Muss?" I hear call out to me, in a surprisingly formal and firm voice. I glance over -- and a pair of Royal Guards are approaching, donned in their usual armor. Steely eyes watch me as they near.

"Sure am." I nod, reclining back on the bench. "How's the day, fellas?"

The pause in front of me, the second one directing crowd traffic around us. The first glances down at Dinky, raising an eyebrow. "...Good." He notes oddly.

"Watching the kid for her mom -- she's running the Wonderbolt track." I inform, nodding up. He follows my nod, squinting at the clouds.

"I see. Just a delivery, Sir."
He digs through a side-pouch with his mouth, presenting me with a scroll. 

"What for?" I ask, leaning forward to take it.

"A Royal Invitation to join Princess Celestia tomorrow, at Noon, for Lunch. Present the summons at the gate, and you'll be granted entry." He explains, standing tall.

How the hell did she figure out I was here?

Actually, its pretty believable. Twilight could have told her -- and she's probably got eyes everywhere. She's one of those gentle but firm, omnipresent ruler types. 

Unfurling the scroll, it's a signed and wax-no-longer-sealed Invitation. Standard written fare, usual royal mumbo jumbo; at your convenience, we invite you, have a good one, so on. Except she wrote 'Nonny' at the end. With a 'P.S, bring your Marefriend'."

Well, that's gonna throw Derpy for a loop. 

"Gotchya. Thanks." I nod, tucking it away into my pocket, with the other pamphlets.

I expected him to march off -- but I see him glance at my leg, as the metallic pole sticks out under the ankle of my pants, just above the shoe, crossed up on my other knee; then to my cheek. And probably the whole me. I'm an odd one out, for sure. He just looks curious, a smidge on the young side.

"If you want to ask about it, you can." I float; I know Ponies aren't used to prosthetics, but a Guard might have a unique opinion on it that I haven't heard yet. Curiosity like that is what helps keep me sane in this place.

He seems to contemplate the offer for a moment.
"...Service?" He asks; his tone is softer. Real, not presenting a Royal order.

"Of a sort." I nod.

"...You've got the eyes; like some of the Old Guard." He responds, letting it hang in the air a moment. Not quite what I expected him to say.

"Good day, Sir." He affirms, giving me a polite nod and backing away. The other Guard quickly falls in beside him, as they part through the crowd towards the distant castle.

I've got the eyes? Huh. Wonder what this Old Guard is. I should ask Tia tomorrow.





It's not long after, I hear a pair of flapping wings closing in; other Pegasi have been flying around, but they usually keep pretty high. These flaps are getting close, quick.

I glance up, shifting the brim of the HEMA hat I pilfered from the sleeping Dinky. Needed something to block the sun from my eyes, and she still had that loggers one. That special little bubble-flanked Mare of mine swoops down towards the bench Dinky (still snoring) and I sit on -- and she's not alone, a second, blue Mare swooping down alongside her; Rainbow Dash.

Dash comes scooting to a stop beside the bench, grinning.
"Hey Anon! Didn't expect to see you here!"

Derpy nearly drops right on me, flapping to a quick stop; she doesn't even land, dropping a bundled parchment on my lap. Before I can react, her hooves roughly grab the sides of my face, and I'm pulled into the wettest, smoochiest kiss she's ever given me, nostrils breathing hot air on my face as she pants for breath, without breaking the kiss. She didn't even get my lips the first try, shifting to fix the sloppy, borderline saucy greeting after, more focused on mashing as much of her lips against mine as she can.

I'm caught entirely by surprise. Brain blanks.

There's an audible 'Muah' as she pulls away, grinning widely at me, still panting. She lets me go, dropping to the road and bringing her wings in.

My eyes are wide, brain still processing. Won't catch me complaining, but definitely not how I was expecting her to come back. Wouldn't mind if that became her usual greeting. That gets me focused on her, and she... damn.

Derpy looks... good, in a messy way. Her Mane is swept back from the high-speed flying, her breathing is hard and heavy from the exercise, chest rising and falling rapidly; and she's damp from sweat. Her eyes are wide, open, vibrant; she looks alive.

Derpy and I aren't the only ones with a blush on our faces; Dash is giving us an incredulous look, face a deeper blue than usual.
"Wow." She mumbles. "Didn't know you guys were a thing. That's cool. Congrats?"

Derpy's expression slips to a more bashful one, giggling softly.
"Y-yeah. Sorry. But -- how is Dinky?" She asks, glancing to her daughter.

Takes me a few more blinks to shift back to reality. That was one hell of a hello, and words take a few seconds. I wipe some of the saliva on my sleeve, clearing my throat.
"...Hey Dash. Yeah, Dinky's good; checked a few booths, got an ice cream; she's a bit pooped. Been napping for a few minutes." 

I tickle the base of Dinky's ear; it flicks, the little Filly making a little whinny in her sleep, interrupting the snoring.

Dash stifles a chuckle, giving Derpy a soft nudge on the shoulder.
"I'll, uh... leave you guys to it. Good racing you, Derpy; see you Anon!"

We both wave as Dash launches back into the sky, off to wherever she tends to race off to. Maybe a favorite cloud or something.

"Someone looks like she had a blast." I can barely utter, before Derpy hops up on the bench with me; she's practically half on my lap, head leaning on my shoulder, still exuding a tired excitement.

"I haven't felt like that in years. Once I got the track down, I started finding the sweet spots -- and them I started catching up to Rainbow Dash, and without even speaking, we started racing, and we were gapping the other participants, and she had the lead but I kept the tighter corners, and --" Derpy rambles between heavy breaths, her tired body trying to match how much air she's huffing with all her words.
"But - Look!" She practically beams, pointing to the bundled paper she dropped on me moments prior with her nose. I take it, giving it a quick look-over once I unfurl it.

It's an invitation to a Wonderbolts try-out, staged in a months time at Cloudsdale.

"God damn, Derpy. Seriously?" I laugh, pulling her close and into a hug. She giggles, leaning into it.

"Yeah! I mean, they were handing plenty of them out, but... it felt good, getting to stretch my wings like that. Getting noticed, I guess. Made me feel like a filly again." She sighs, still smiling. She nestles in beside me, tucked in under my arm as she catches her breath. She's leaning against me pretty hard.

"Derpy the Wonderbolt. Has a good ring to it, I think." I tease, folding up the paper and tucking it into her purse. "Good to see you getting along with Dash, too."

"Yeah, she's... something. And that something is fast, mostly." Derpy smiles. I think there's a little more to it, but I don't push. "And what about you? Dinky give you any trouble while I was gone?" She asks, turning the attention to me.

"Well, your Filly either has a very exciting career in Fishing, Historical Equestrian Martial Arts, or Logging ahead of her, if education doesn't pan out." I list off, tapping them out on my fingers. "Which, it probably will, the way the Canterlot Unicorn University's booth guy took an interest in her. After he was done asking me questions about what the fuck I am, anyway." I explain, producing the various pamphlets, and pointing at the pair of hat's that Dinky had gathered, one of which was on my own head.

She's incredulous at first, but her eyes widen as I start speaking about the University.
"Oh -- The University! I didn't miss that, did I? How did it go?!" She asks, pressing her hooves into me with worry.

"No, no--only pamphlets today. They're hosting an event in the evening tomorrow, which they heavily recommended we visit." I explain, reassuring her; she sighs in relief, a hoof to her chest. "Apparently, someone is quite skilled for her age."

That gets a relieved smile out of Derpy. 
"The University is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to come for the Fair; thank you, Anon. Sorry I was gone for so long." She elaborates, leaning past me to look at the snoozing Dinky. She smiles, leaning back against me.

"Of course; and no problem, Dinky is fun to hang with. I think we've hit the most important booths; which is good, since we're gonna have a busy day tomorrow, anyway." I say, ruffling her side fur with a hand.

"What do you mean? The University Event is in the evening, right?" She asks, glancing up.

I rustle the Royal Invitation out of my pocket, holding the top of it and letting it unfurl. I almost hold it in front of her; but remember Dinky does most of her reading, holding it up for both of us. She squints at it, looking at me expectantly.

"Remember how I said the Princess was my Penpal?" I start, getting a curious look from Derpy.

"...Yes? Were you joking?" She asks, unsure where I'm going with this.

I clear my throat, and begin reading the Royal Invitation.

As I reach each new sentence, Derpy's jaw drops more. Halfway through, I don't think it can get any more open. Then I get to the P.S, and finish the letter.

She grabs me with her hooves, pulling me close, nose to nose.
"Anon what do you MEAN THE PRINCESS KNOWS WE'RE DATING?!" She exclaims -- pausing as a fair few heads turn from the nearby crowds. She's a little too amped up to notice.

"Well, I've told her about you in my last letter, of course. Though, I wasn't expecting the invitation; I didn't even tell her we were coming, but I guess the guards relayed. Not like I exactly blend in." That's my best guess, anyway. 

Derpy looks... well, there's a real solid mix of emotions on her face. Excitement, from the track. More excitement, from thinking about the University Event tomorrow. Sheer panic, from the idea of meeting the Princess of the entire nation over lunch.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." I try to offer, but she gives me a glare.

"I can't refuse the PRINCESS, Anon! It said bring me! Who says no to the Princess?! OF EQUESTRIA?!"

"Okay? Wake up, breakfast, say hi to the Princess for Lunch, and then hit the University Event, Dinner, then we head home. Sounds like we have our day planned." I recount simply. Really wasn't that big of a deal.

She stares at me silently for several moments, before slumping against my side. Either my relaxed attitude is contagious, or she just doesn't have the energy for this.
"Every moment you make my life easier, you counteract it with something I can never predict." She mumbles.

"That a bad thing?" I tease, running my hand through her mane. Her face scrunches.

"Don't do that. I'm... sweaty." She weakly rebuffs, but I continue.

"I don't think I could care any less. I'm just glad you had fun." I return. She relents, letting me continue.

"...I don't have anything to wear." She mutters. "I left my dress at home. I'll look silly."

"Lunch with Tia is a casual type of thing. The only thing she ever wears is shoes, crown and a... peytral. That's the word." Surprised I remembered that one, actually.

"...'Nonny'. I still can't believe you're actually on a nickname basis with the Princess." Derpy mumbles, chest hefting with a deep breath as she calms herself.

"I'm like... an ambassadorial endangered species, or something. I forget how she puts it. Gives her an interest in my wellbeing, so she checks up on me. Nothing special. Well, when Luna isn't popping by my dreams to do it for her." I explain, leaning back.

"Luna?" She repeats; I half expect another explosive reaction when the second Princess comes into play, but she just deflates, sinking into me further.
"...I think I'm burnt out for the day, Anon. Can we go back to the hotel?" Derpy groans, bumping my side with her head. I guess knowing two Princesses was the tipping point.

"Want me to carry you?" I offer, starting to wriggle one of my hands underneath her.

"What? No, I..." Derpy trails off. She pauses, wincing as she gives her wings a flutter, sore from the sudden burst of use now that she'd sat down for a moment.

There's a pause.

"Would you really?" She asks quietly.
> Chapter 25 - Back to the Hotel
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would. Really.

I guess the way I walk into the Hotel was enough for a crack to form in that Professional demeanor the Clerk had been holding so firmly. It's only for a moment, but I spy that incredulous, confused look. And honestly, I don't blame them.

I'm wearing two hats that don't quite fit me, brims stuck in different directions. In my right arm, I've got Derpy pressed up against my chest. Her hooves are wrapped over my shoulders, overtop her purse which still dangles from me, and she's curled up in my arm, wings wrapped around me for support. She exerted herself a LOT more than she'd realized, and was absolutely pooped, head leant on my shoulder.

My other arm carries Dinky in a football hold, little hooves hanging and swinging in the air. Dinkers' been out like a light since she finished that monstrosity they called an ice-cream; the sugar and excitement had caught up to her, and she's probably be out for a while. Two naps in a day. Double-napper, some might say. As a fellow enjoyer of naps, I found that to be a respectable number.

I reach the front desk, shifting my grip on Derpy. She makes a small noise; I think she's too tired to be embarrassed. She's not asleep like Dinky, but she's got her full weight on me, completely slumped. I'm real fucking glad these pastel mini-horse things don't weigh nearly as much as an actual horse. Sturdy or not, Pegasi weigh even less than the already pretty light Ponies; and the arm holding Derpy is thankful.

"Any chance you could get our room door for me? Arms a little full at the moment." I ask, snooty and playful tone I'd taken with them before forgotten. I just wanted to get these two settled.

The clerk recovers quickly, clearing their throat and hopping out from behind the desk.
"Of course, Sir. Right this way."





Once we get back in the room, the Clerk smiles, shutting the door behind us.

Three flights of stairs.

One Filly and one Mare.

My legs (All 1.5 of them) are burning. I'm glad I stayed some what fit; thankfully, once we're back in, Derpy rouses somewhat, and I can take a rough knee to let her down, hooves tapping against the carpet.

"Thank you, Anon." She whispers, before stretching on the ground. Her wings tremble, and I swear I hear a pop as they reach to their full length, a long, low groan escaping her.
"I... really should have stretched first." Derpy mumbles, wincing.

I feel that.

Dinky gets wrapped up in a blanket and placed half on a pillow, tucked on the vast expanse of bed. Her collection of hats and pamphlets, and my royal lunch invitation, are placed squarely on the table.

I take a hard sit on one of the chairs, letting my own groan wheeze out of me. It earns a sympathetic look from Derpy, as she meanders for the bathroom. The hats are tossed towards the table. One makes it, the other hits the floor. What a shame.

"Would you mind?" I hear her call. I'm busy staring at the ceiling, leant over the back of this pony-plus sized chair, trying to work a kink out of my back.

"Wuh?" It's more a noise than an actual word that escapes me.

"If I hopped in first? I'm a bit..." 

My head rolls over, catching Derpy standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Ah. Shower.

"Do your thing. I'll make sure Dinky doesn't plummet from the edge of the bed and leave a crater." I joke. It was a pretty tall bed.

She smiles weakly, obviously dead tired. She was going to sleep like a rock tonight.

"Figure dinner out when you're done?" I ask as she's partway inside.

"O-okay!" I hear her call from inside the bathroom; the grey flank disappears, the door shutting. It's me. Myself. My thoughts. 

And Dinky's comical 'Mimimi' snoring.

Well, got some time until she's done in there. Another sigh escapes me as I lean forward; I doubt we're going back out, at least for a bit. It's what... a little past noon? Probably save our stomachs for a big dinner later. I've still got a few bits. Could do something casual, Canterlot style.

I kick off a shoe, tossing it towards the door. And a whole leg -- as tempting as it is to chuck it, too, I set it beside the chair.

Whoof. And to think, we still had a whole other day here lined up. Won't be roaming booth-to-booth like today, at least. A nice morning breakfast, lunch with Tia -- that's gonna be interesting -- and wrap it up with a school presentation.

I can hear the shower kick on, water sprinkling, muffled through the door. Sounds like good pressure in there. Can't wait for my turn. Wonder if she'll leave me any hot water; I'm actually kind of excited to try the shower. I lucked out with this whole Alicorn-sized-suite thing.

The day went nice, I muse quietly. Some surprisingly good things played out; didn't expect Dinky to gravitate quite where she did, but Derpy had a blast. That, I was happy for. Wasn't expecting to ambush Derpy with a royal invite, but... that one wasn't really my fault. Plus, talk about connections, huh? Tia had her own school and students... wouldn't hurt to ask.

Honestly, this chair wasn't half bad. Wood with a plush, emerald cushion. I could squeeze a good nights sleep out of this thing. Just gotta find the right pose that'll make me look like a mangled corpse; then I'll snooze just fine.

Kind of had to pee. Not terribly, but kind of.

My hands idly slap the sides of the chair, lip pursing. I blow a raspberry, glancing around the room. Cool candle.

My eyes wander to the bar. I really wasn't much of a beer guy. Or a wine guy. I liked the sip something with flavor, at the most. Drunk... didn't really work for me. Not a safe choice for guys like me.

I hobble up and out of the chair, hopping a few steps to lean against the wood; it's a little half-bar, no stools, enough room for one pony to mix, and others to be served.

Since I'm not Pony size, I just reach over from the front side and start plucking bottles off the wall, reading them. The whole shared language thing... one of the many things I did just, not think about.

Whinny Whiskey... Veritable Van-Hoof Vodka... I notice the percentages are significantly lower than most human alcohols. Good to know for drinking contests, that I will never be a part of.

I debate trying a sip of the whiskey, at least, watching the murky liquid slosh around in the glass.

There's a muffled voice in the bathroom, pulling me from my rumination. And then a thump. The bottle taps against the countertop as I pause, craning my neck, listening.

There's a quiet pause, just the water running. Whole suite is pretty silent. Just snoring, and water.

I hear the voice again, louder. Still too muffled, but I don't think she's singing. 

Well, I'm not putting my leg back on that quickly. Leaving the bottle on the bar, I use my arms for leverage, hopping and leaning my way over to the bathroom door.

I pause, leant against the doorway. I knock.

"You talking to me, Derpy?" I call, hovering close to the door.

"...C-could you c-come in?" I barely hear. Hope she didn't get hurt, slipping or something.

I slowly open the door, pausing once it's cracked.

"You asking me to come in?" I repeat, just in case I misheard.

"...Y-yes."

"Want me to look away? You need a towel or something?" I try to ask, my tone soft.

"J-just get in here, Anon. P-Please." She re-affirms, a tinge of worry in her voice.

Alright. Not really sure what to expect here; not like I can walk in on her being indecent. She's naked the entire time, anyway. Can a pony even be indecent? 

I push inside the bathroom, hopping in. I use the sink counter for support as I shut the door behind myself, and...

Derpy's laying awkwardly in the middle of the shower, half on her side, half on her back, water pouring down on her. She's soaked, obviously, and I see the bar of soap at my feet -- entirely across the bathroom from her. One of her wings are fully extended, stuck out in the air; the other is awkwardly stuck underneath her, half-folded. Looks like she tipped, and got stuck, too sore to fix herself. That can't be comfortable.

I purse my lips, trying to figure if there's any problems beyond her having dropped the soap all the way across the bathroom. 

"...The soap?" I guess, pointing down at it.

"...I'm s-stuck, and t-the waters c-cold." She shivers out. Oh. Yeah that'd do it. "A-and the s-soap, yes."

"On my way." I grunt, leaning down to grab it -- it's wet, so I don't bother trying to hang onto it, just lobbing it somewhere into the oversized shower, as it pings off the wall and slips around.

"S-sorry, I d-didn't know y-you g-got... c-comfortable?" She tries to piece out, teeth chattering, pointing out my lack of a leg.

"Master-class one-leg hopper, here. Don't worry about it." I reaffirm, making my way over to the shower. Consider me a seasoned Pogo-ist. I slip my jacket off while I do, laying it on the bathroom counter. One small problem to helping her, and the reason why I'm starting to undress.

The showers handle is fully inside said shower, on the opposite wall of the entrance. To either turn it up so she isn't freezing, or get her up off her side, I'm gonna have to get wet. There's nowhere for me to lean carefully out of the way; the showerhead is designed for a from-above, full shower saturation. Curse the deluxe package.

"I get having a cold shower after burning hot like that, but you might be overdoing it." I tease, leaning against the glass wall of the shower, now. Still in my shirt and pants. Good thing I brought a change of clothes; figured something would happen to them. "Ever think of our first shower together playing out like this?"

"N-not... e-exactly. S-sorry, A-anon." She mumbles, glancing away.

"You gotta stop apologizing so m--WOW, that's f-fucking c-cold." My teeth practically slam together as I stick my arm in to test. She's got this shit FRIGID. How the fuck was she just sitting here in this?!

No point trying to get used to it; we'll be popsicles before then. My face scrunches, and I duck in. It's like icy little daggers stabbing me all over, and my clothes soaking it all up really doesn't help.

coldcoldcoldcolddon'triponderpycoldcoldcoldcoldcold--

I don't think I've grabbed for anything so fast in my life, the way I almost throw myself on it; I crank the handle upward, slumping against the wall and sliding down into a wet sit on the shower floor with Derpy, both of us bracing, teeth chattering, as we suffer the long wait for the temperature change.


And it hits. We both groan, warmth sweeping down over us instead of biting cold. Neither of us speak for a long moment, just soaking in the warm water. A low, content groan escapes the pair of us.


Eventually, teeth no longer chattering, I push off the wall, slipping around and laying on the shower floor beside her, head held up by my hand. Our faces are pretty close, and she stares up at my face from her awkward angle.

Still stuck.

"Still stuck?" I whisper.

"...Still stuck." She whispers.

"Hurts?"

"Not really. Just... cramped, and tipped over. Can't get up... tired." 

Derpy stares at me expectantly. She huffs as she watches the smile grow on my face.

"So. You'd thought about what our first time showering together, huh?" I grin. 

"...If I admit, once or twice, will you help me up?" She returns, still staring at me. No shy glance-away this time.

With a grunt, I shift into a sit; my clothes are soaked, but I don't really care. It's just water. Not frigid anymore, either. I could sit in here for a while. Though I'll probably be out in the room in my underwear for a bit, drying off, once I've got her back up.

"Do I need to watch for the wings?" I ask, glancing her over. Her gaze slowly shifts as I look her over, glancing away as she's inspected.

"Just roll me, please." She instructs simply.

Quietly and slowly, Derpy walks me through getting her back up. I'm mostly just worried about the wing she's laying on, but she lets me know if it starts to hurt, making a pretty cute noise in warning. Hands carefully tucked under her, we bobble her back onto her hooves.

She doesn't stay on them for long, sitting back on her haunches, sighing in relief. Her wings finally furl in, but don't close against her body, loosely hanging outward, drooping.

"Alright. Enjoy your shower. I'll get--" I go to start, lifting myself off the shower floor. A hoof presses against the back of my hand, Derpy watching me.

"The, uh... I need..." She purses her lips.

"Forget something out there?" I ask, pausing, settling back into my side-lay.

"...Would it be weird if I asked you to wash me? Is that too much?" She asks timidly, watching my face for a reaction.

"Not really. Cramps that bad?" I say with a shrug. 

"I normally use my wings to help myself, but... I can barely move them. It hurts to, actually. I definitely overdid it." She sighs. "If it's too much, you don't have to; I can figure something out."

"Like I'm gonna say no after you ask me to help you. You mind if I get out of these soaked clothes though? Not the most fun." I snort, shifting up into a sit.

"...Why would I mind? Is this one of those personal things, for humans?" She tilts her head at me, confused; watching as I start to undress. "Did you tell me before?"

"Well, Humans have a social taboo about being naked, since we don't have fur or sheaths or anything like that. Usually, it's only acceptable if you're alone, with trusted individuals, or doing something that requires less clothes, like swimming." I start to explain, working my wet shirt up and over my head. I wring it out, tossing it outside the shower.

"Oh!" I hear her hum, genuinely curious as she listens.

"Oh." I then hear, as she processes, looking down over my chest. She's staring.

"Wasn't the last time you saw me without clothes also the first time we met?" I ask, shifting into a side-lay again to unbuckle my pants. The boxers were gonna stay on, more for myself honestly. Situation aside, awkwardly big step for us. Maybe more me than her.

"When we first met? I think so... you were in your... boxers, you called them? Wait, was me barging in like that really bad, since you were dressed like that? It's not bad that I saw you like that, or that I'm about to see you in them, is it?" She asks, a tinge of worry creeping in.

Ever since I learned that privacy wasn't much of a thing in this world, I stopped walking around my house half-naked. Felt like the smart choice.

"Yes, No, and No. Yes, they're called boxers. No, not really to what you bombed my window into. Lack of clothes is also a comfort thing; I was just relaxing at home, nothing terrible. And final no -- well, to other humans maybe, but we long moved past that." I explain, while she's watching my hands. "Closest step a Human can be to being naked, without being naked, is underwear. Which is an embarrassing, comforting or very intimate thing, depending on the mood or situation." I explain; belt unbuckles, and I'm sliding my pants legs down.

"Oh, same ones. Do you only have the one?" Derpy hums, noticing my underwear. Were they? Look at that; they were. Right, she's got good memory.

"Now why do you remember that?" I ask, coy. 

Derpy glances away. "...No Ponies wear things like that?" She offers, a little sheepish smile forming. Smooth. I'll let her have it.

"No, Humans like to keep a few of most clothing items, rotating them." I explain. "I've got a few pairs."

"...Huh. Ponies only wear clothes for status, events, work, and... other stuff." She says, words slowing as her eyes wander back to my body. "Why is watching you undress...?" 

"Oddly intimate? Oh, because it is." I nod.

The pants take a longer second to ring out, but after a few squeezes, I toss them across the bathroom with the shirt -- landing with a wet shlap. Sounds like I didn't ring it out enough. Woops. Well, anyway.

"For Humans in relationships, its the last step before -- or several even consider it to be, the first step to, intimate relations." I continue to explain, a cheeky smile sat on my face as I lay on my side, nearly fully exposed to her. 

She must have warmed right up, with that brilliant blush that seeps across her cheeks.
"I-I wasn't asking you in here to--" She starts to stutter, but falls quiet as I laugh, clueing in, tsk'ing at me.

"I know. Just having fun messing with you, Derpy. Humans are very social creatures; we understand nuance. Just here to help my Marefriend." I reassure.

"...So you're not going to...take... those... oh!" She mutters, her questions shifting to a quiet statement of surprise. I follow her gaze, finding her nose pointed towards my boxers, which are soaked and stuck to my body. Woops.

I realize that with them being wet, they hide very little; they're stuck to my body, accentuating what it's covering rather than hiding it, basically giving Derpy a pretty good view of Anon Jr. I realize a little too late that I should've kept the pants on.

"...You said you didn't have a... sheath? I can... see that." She whispers. "So... odd."

"Oops." I shift, covering myself with my thigh, obscuring her view. "Yeah, no, uh... sheath."

Small, awkward silence ensues. Her gaze doesn't really seem intent on looking anywhere else. 

"So, uh... do you want to like, spin around and I'll start on your fur? Or however you Ponies clean up." I offer, trying to move on. I'm trying to dance these situations with some care, but I have no idea what flies and doesn't. Derpy is, thankfully, very understanding.

"...Can I see you?" I hear her softly mutter.

...And very interested, apparently. 

Not quite what I expected, but there's probably more to that then asking to see my dick.
"What do you mean?"

"I... you know my vision isn't the best. And, I have seen you; but I..." She continues, trying to find the right words. I think I get it. She's not blind, but she probably has a difficult time focusing on things like smaller details, and tends to just roll past. She wants to know me. My little details. That's... kind of really sweet.

"You want to be able to look me over at your own pace?" I offer. She nods quickly.

"I... do you mind? If I? Look, you...? Sorry, it's hard for me to find the right words for this."

"Then forget the words. Need me to come closer?" 

"You don't mind?"

"Letting you poke me over with your hooves, ogle me a bit? I think I can live with that. Might even be flattered, honestly. Go for it." I grunt, using my arm to scoot myself closer across shower floor; I don't have to go very far, but I get she's trying to participate while being dead-tired. I can accommodate.

I roll onto my back, side of my torso touching her back hooves, supporting my head with arms, eyes closed. Soaking in the warm water. Not really... covering myself, anymore. It's not exposed, but... I think this is one of those situations where I just let Derpy lead.

I don't think I'd be uncomfortable with any which way this whole situation could play out, so...

Can't really watch her unless I want to hold an arm over my head, or catch water in the eyes, so I guess this is one of those feel-only experiences. Her back-hooves, sat on her haunches, softly poke further into my side as she stays close.

Then, I feel one of her front hooves lightly press against my stomach. It stays still, for a long moment, before it begins tracing along my side. I can kind of tell how closely she's looking; the water stops falling on the part of me that her head is blocking, giving me a vague hint. 

"...Anon, can I ask you something?" I hear her say, quiet beneath the water.

"Mmhm." I nod softly.

Her hoof traces up my stomach, pausing by my belly button. It then shifts upward, slowly to rest on the center of my chest, just over my heart.

"What do you... want, out of this? Out of us?" She says, tone still quiet. 

I feel the water stop trickling on my face; I dare to crack an eye open, and I see she's got her wing draped over my head, blocking the droplets. She winces a little, but holds steady.

She looks... sad. Post-flight clarity is a funny term that comes to mind, but doesn't really help me out.

"What do you mean? You asking if I want a hoofjob, or do you mean on a grander scale?" I tease; the way her lips press together, I think hoofjobs are an actual thing. Oops. Thought I was being funny with wordplay only. "Sorry. Trying to keep the mood light."

"It's okay. I... meant us. You were bold, in the Cafe. I liked it. But... you know that I can't give you a... standard relationship. I'm not a young Mare looking for her first love, wanting to flirt around, and eventually marry. I'm... Dinky, is my everything. Anything else would have to come after that, and I... don't have much left to give, after her, Anon. I can't give you what another Mare can." She explains softly. Sadly. Her hoof still slowly circles over my each side of my chest, and I see her lean closer, trying to familiarize herself with me. 

Her words, and her actions, and complete opposites. She worries about being enough for me, while she's got her hooves all over me.

"I didn't show an interest in you for what you can't give me, Derpy. You're... wonderful. Hoof to feather to snout to freckle, mane to tail, you're an amazing Mare; and Dinky is just an absolute delight, and that's because of you." I start to explain, just... staring at that wet face, damp, freckled fur and all.

Her hoof traces over my collarbone, idly sliding along my neck.

"It doesn't bother you, that I have Dinky?" She asks.

"Not in the slightest. Kid brightens my day. I'd be a sad, lonely little man sitting on a hill if she didn't help nudge us together." I respond, without a missed beat. "I know you've got a lot going on. That your situation is different. I don't mind any of it, truly. What I want, is... I don't know, honestly." 

She pauses, looking to my face.

Her hoof slowly traces up to my cheek, the same way I tend to stroke hers so often, hovering just below my exposed teeth. No thumbs, though, but I appreciate the effort. She's waiting for my to continue, with baited breath. I think she wants... this, but she's trying to give me every chance to back out. Fat chance, fat flank.

"I... want, you? It's hard to explain it more than that. I don't have a... set plan for us, for how our relationship is supposed to pan out, or where we should be in five years. You have a daughter whose your priority -- I'm an alien that lives on a hill. I just want... us. Something... more than casual, for sure; I'm not here for something... short term. You, and Dinky deserve better then that. Committed, but not... restrictive? I want you to be mine, and I yours, I know that much. But... in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable. I want you to keep focused on Dinky... and I would love if you'd give me, the chance to... be there for her, with you? Is that weird? I'm just speaking off the heart here, and I don't do this kind of thing... ever. Smack me if I'm being weird."

I squint, waiting for a little smack. Or maybe a big smack. I really don't know feelings like this; I'm the guy who sits in the woods for hours carving sticks. 

Instead, I find Derpy's face right close to mine, both of us now under her wing. Without the water falling on me, I can feel the heat of her breath, her face inches from mine.

"...Say that part again?" She asks softly. The sadness that had been tugging at her face is gone.

"...I kind of rambled, there. Specifics?"

"That little bit, just after commitment."

"That I... want you to be mine?" 

"...And the other part?"

"And me, yours?"

A haughty huff -- that I take as approval -- escapes her, Derpy's nose pressing against mine. I feel her hoof cup my jaw, and her mouth slides across to my exposed teeth, kissing them softly.

Oh, boy.

She stares into my eyes (probably), before planting another, smaller kiss on my lips.

"I would like that, Anon." She whispers, before sitting up, gaze falling back to my body. 

Her hoof traces its way back down, my neck, my chest, running over the contours and details of my body until it reaches my stomach. She pauses. She's staring at...

Oop, lower bodily reaction. Like it wouldn't after something like that.

"...Is it really just out like that, all day? You wear clothes because of it?" She asks. Yeah, she's staring at it.

"Yeah. Sorry." I purse my lips.

"Don't be; you have nothing to be sorry for." She re-affirms surprisingly quickly. "Are you still willing to help me wash?" She now asks, turning her gaze to my face. I notice just how... long, it takes, like she detours on every part of my exposed body.

"Of course. You'll have to walk me through it, though."

She nods, pulling her wing back; I squint as shower droplets meet my face again.

"I..." She mumbles, pursing her lips.

"Mm?" I grunt, wiping the water from my face, slicking my hair back. I push into a sit-up, leaning against my arms in a half-recline. She looks hung up on something. Excited, but... cautious.

"You know, obviously... but Dinky's father isn't in the picture. I haven't explained it, yet, but... I've been burned before. I can't... if it happens again, and I'm not saying you would, but --" She starts, staring at the shower floor. I know she doesn't mean it ill towards me; she's scared of being hurt again. Who wouldn't be? 

I shift to lean on my knee, tenderly gripping her shoulder with a hand.
"My priority, in this relationship, is that you and Dinky are comfortable. Happy. I don't want to tie you into a situation where you don't have full control, or where you can't be self reliant." I assure her, smiling softly. 

She suddenly shuffles closer, water splashing, leaning against me, head pressed against my chest. I slowly wrap my arm around her, holding her close.

"I don't mean to accuse you, or anything... I'm just..." She mutters against me. "I'm worried, a lot of the time. I have to be. I... re-tread topics, a lot."

"I know. I get it. Do that as much as you need; I understand." I assure her.

We stay there, silent for some time. Thank God, or Celestia, or the plumber, that this shower had some plentiful hot water. I had no idea how long we've been in here for, between our conversations and quiet bouts.

"How about we get you washed-up?" I whisper softly. She nods, lifting off me slightly; but she looks to my face. There's an odd resolution in her expression.

"...Can I make a... forward request?" She whispers back.

"Go for it." I nod.

"Instead of asking you to wash me... can I ask you to shower with me?" 

"Think I already am, at this point. Well, almost. Humans shower naked." I inform, politely.

"...Okay." She nods.

"That means the boxers come off." I warn her softly.

"Okay." She nods again.

"You sure you don't want me to just wash you?" I triple-check, because today has been a lot and I need absolutes.

"...Can I be the one to take them off?" Derpy asks, placing her hoof against my chest. It's already trailing lower, towards my waistband.

"...Okay." I nod. 





My fingers softly rake through her wet fur, lathering the soap. She's sat between my parted legs, quite close, facing me. She doesn't look down, though. She's watching my face as I work her over, and she seems like she's in bliss. Derpy is... really, fucking soft, even when wet.

"This is... you called them fingers?" She whispers softly. A soft kiss, pressed to my cheek. It seemed like we were going to keep exchanging attention, then.

"Yep. Very useful." I nod, leaning into the peck. I liked how affectionate Derpy was. The whole teeth thing definitely hit me harder than I expected...

"I can... tell." She hums, arching her back as I make a zig-zag drag if my nails down her back fur, ending at the top of her flank. "Celestia above, this is lovely." 

"Could make it the norm." I offer, cheekily.

"And how would we do that?" She plays along, twisting as I work up her left side. I pause to lather in a little more soap.

"Maybe I come over extra-early on Sunday, and we sneak into the shower together." I shrug; the idea gets a smile out of Derpy.

"Have you over even earlier...?" She bites her lip. Jesus Christ, that hits. "Good luck getting me up early on my day off."

"I can think of a way or two. Involves fur, fingers; shower optional." I hum back, curious just how far this conversation can go. 

"...You're quite the flirt, Anon. Always so forward." She warns playfully. She twists the other way, as I work down her right side.

"You're quite the tease, yourself." I return; her eyes snap open, and she stares right at me. 

"Am I, really?" She whispers, lips hovering inches from mine.

"Terribly so, I'm afraid." I whisper back.

She makes a small, noteworthy 'Mm' of acknowledgement, before leaning forward and pressing her lips to mine. Hard. Her tongue slips into my mouth, bumping into mine; I'm startled by how suddenly forward she is, and can barely react before she pulls away. A long string of saliva draws between our lips, which gets wiped away as she hides her mouth behind a hoof.

"You're the one who essentially asked to take me on a Cafe table, in public, in front of my only Daughter, Mister Muss. I don't think you get to make any accusations." She coos.

Oh, she does not play fair.
"Point taken." I nod.

"My face, too, please." She adds, a tinge of sing-song to her voice; she closes her eyes, sticks her face forward, waiting for me to scrub her up.

I particularly enjoy the startled noise she makes when I instead grab her face, and kiss her back in turn. Then, while we kiss, my thumbs slowly lather her cheeks, working up under her eyes, and across her snout; that noise slowly turns into an elongated, throaty purr.

My hands slowly coast her wet fur, up behind her ears, scrubbing in deep -- she particularly seems to enjoy ear-touching, wriggling in place.

My hands recede, and I slowly pull away from the kiss. Derpy, however, doesn't let me break it -- her own face trailing after mine, our lips barely coming apart as she pushes her face into mine again.

"Your--mm--Mane." I try to word out, between her plush-lipped assaults. She finally gives, pulling back.

"...Okay." She huffs, staring at me. She's giving me one hell of a saucy glare.

Hands washed of soap, I rummage through the -- honestly, completely overpacked -- shampoos, bodywashes, conditioners and so on. Under Derpy's direction, she picks out the one she'd most like to try. Pomegranate scent. Huh. I give the bottle a quick sniff; oh, that's pleasant.

My hands are working through her mane, slowly dragging along her neck, and her scalp, working it in. She is, again, deeply enjoying this.

This is why I avoided applying to the Spa, initially. I had this dark, inner feeling that opposable thumbs and fingers were more dangerous than they seemed, and Derpy was proving my guess right. Though for her, she was probably the luckiest mare this side of Equestria right now. This would be weird to do for random ponies.

I scrub into her bangs, before letting the water rinse it all away.

Oh, she's giving me a look. It's not a terribly saucy one, but that's the look she gives me when she's got something... different on the mind.

"...My tail, too?" She whispers.

Originally, that would've been an instant yeah-sure-okay. This shower, however, did NOT keep the original tone of her first request. I think I just got a twinge of butterflies, if her tone is implying what I think she's implying.

When did I get nervous? It's just her tail. I nod.
"Of course. How do you want to...?"

Derpy pushes up off her haunches, back onto all fours; after all the physical attention, she's a little more spry. Derpy stares at my face, turning around.

Oh, that's why I'm nervous.

She's watching at me over her shoulder, face half-hidden behind a loosely draped wing. Flank in my face, her wet, tucked tail covering her...

Ahem.

She catches me staring, wide eyed -- for a moment, I can see her toying stare flicker with panic, suddenly worried she's overstepped or over assumed.

"I-I wasn't being too forward, was I? Oh, buck -- I shouldn't have -- I'm sorr--"
She starts to stutter, back legs tensing, padding in place.

God, she's fucking adorable, flitting between confident and worried. It helps stem my own nerves, honestly.

My hands firmly grasp each side if her flank, which promptly quiets her. I'm astounded I'm still alive, the feeling that hit me when I watched my fingers sink into her butt-flesh. Her Cutie-Mark doesn't feel any different than the rest of her fur; that was a longstanding question I just got the answer to.

I knew she was on the heavier-rear-ended side of Ponies, but for a Pegasus? This was almost on the heftier side of Earth-Pony ass. I can feel the muscle underneath her plusher layers; she works hard to keep this kind of weight moving at those kinds of speed. 

"I think... you're worrying too much, Bubblebutt." I grin; giving her a small squeeze, once for 'bubble', and once for 'butt'.

I get a wet, soggy tail-flick-slap in my face for it.
"Told you to stop calling me that." She mutters; though I think it's still playful, just recovering.

"I mean it in the nicest way possible, of course. Did you know humans are obsessed with butts? Our wisest philosophers would argue in its favor for hours, throughout history." I joke, trying to ease her worries. She's trying to match how playful I am -- but I can tell we're both operating under some nerves here. I think this is new, for both of us, despite our own experiences.

"That explains why you stare at mine all the time. I was going to ask you about it, eventually, but I was... enjoying the attention." She teases back, that bit of confidence seeping back into her words.

"And what about this kind of attention?" I follow up, starting to knead into her flank. I don't even have soap yet, just working through the wet fur, handfuls of rear.

"...I think I could see us doing something like this again. Maybe. But you forgot soap; and I asked you for my tail. Not my rear." She tries to remind.

"Well I can't just ignore such an... ample part of you." I assure her.

I continue kneading, squeezing, digging my fingers in.

"...Any minute now." She huffs. "If you're going to do this, do it with soap. Not that it's... not nice, but this might lead to a different kind of night; and this trip is supposed to be about Dinky." Derpy warns. Still playful -- but a little more stern. Boundary set. I respect it.

I grin nonetheless, ever the victim of her flirting; finally letting go as I reach for the washing products. Deciding I'm mentally capable of two tasks, I get soap for her tail in one hand, and soap for her fur in the other.

My right hand goes back to a tentative kneading, working properly over her entire flank this time, while my left combs my fingers through her tail. I am, as respectfully as I can, trying not to look; glancing away to the tiles of the shower wall as I work. It's still remarkable just how soft she is, even when her fur is damp.

My right hand works down her leg, carefully getting into each muscular crevice, thumb tracing her joints. Left hand focuses on the base of the tail -- I think it's called the dock? -- before I give her a little scratch just above her tail. Her entire flank twitches.

"C-careful." I hear her mutter.

"Hm?" I hum, leaning to look around her, at her face.

"...Can you scratch a little higher?" She asks, still watching from behind her wing.

"Course." I nod, trailing my fingers to the top of her rump, and generally scratching through the area. Derpy's hips keep twitching, a low sigh escaping her.

"...I need to start asking you to get all my itches." She hums.

"Ask and you shall receive." I smile, patting her on the flank, the water already washing out the soap I lathered. "All done."

She shuffles in place again, turning to face me. With me sat, and her on all fours -- like her rump -- she's face to face with me, now.

She just... stares at me, for a quiet moment. I smile at her. She steps closer, nuzzling my cheek with her own; thankfully not my injured cheek, or I'd have fur in my teeth.

"Thank you." She whispers. "I, uh... don't think I can get you in turn, right now." She smiles weakly. Little more spry, but still sore, if her drooping wings are anything to go by. She seems a little sad about it, actually.

"That's alright, I can get myself; but if there's any part of me you think I've missed, we'll... I wouldn't mind if you pointed it out." I wink, reaching for the soap.

That seems to perk her right up, her gaze slowly working me over again; it's sweet, how interested in my body she is. I can already feel her hoof tracing my torso again.
> Chapter 26 - Dinner
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I peer out of the bathroom door, mostly dried off, towel around my waist. It barely went lower than my knee; the shower might have been Alicorn size, but these towels were not.

Derpy seemed to have no complaints about it, the way I felt her swat my butt with her tail as I'm half-leant out the door. Cheeky.

Ignoring her, I squint at the bed... good, Dinky was still asleep; I could tell by her ever-comical snoring. I quickly creep-sneak-hop across the room, rifling through my bag as I pull out fresh clothes.

Derpy trails out soon after, once I've gotten some new, not soaked pants on.

"...I'm jealous of how quickly you dry off." Derpy hums, pausing in the middle of the room. She's enjoying the free show of me dressing up again. "I need a new hair-dryer."

"This going to be a thing -- you watching me dress and undress?" I throw the playful accusation her way, before slipping a fresh shirt on. Oh -- right, sock. Might as well get my leg on, too.

"If I'm anywhere nearby when you do, yes please." She smiles. I liked this confidence she had about her; that she was getting comfortable.

"So; since we snacked during the Fair, go for Dinner in a bit?" I offer.

"Anon..." She says slowly.

"Nowhere fancy. A... Hayburger, or something. I want to see if it's better in Canterlot." I try to excuse.

"Hayburger doesn't have anything you'd like to eat on it's menu." She sighs, smiling. "...Wander the side streets, see what we see?" She counter-offers.

"Deal." I smile. Is she paying attention to what I like to eat? That's actually really sweet. "Though, we have some time to kil-- er, waste. Unless we want an early dinner?" I lean against the back of the chair.

"Actually... can you do that thing again with your fingers again, on my back? It felt... really good, and helped with my cramps." She asks softly, throwing me a half-lidded stare.

"Massage?" I inquire. I've got my leg half-screwed on, sat against the arm rest if the chair. "Sure; little different than scrubbing you down, but I get your drift."

I watch as she hops up onto the bed; there's so much room, she can mantle the opposite side and not even disturb Dinky, whose still curled up on he pile of pillows that I had set her down in.

She curls up, patting beside herself on the bed; before putting a hoof to her lips, and making a soft 'Shh'.

No longer hopping, I slowly step over beside the bed, crossing the room quietly. I ease myself down onto the bed beside her, as Derpy crawls overtop my lap, exposing her back to me. She hums softly as my fingers meet her back, and I start working her over.

It isn't the best angle, but I can make it work. I find she particularly enjoys me digging my thumbs into places she'd have difficulty scratching herself.

"Did you know there isn't a spot on the human body that can't be scratched?" I muse quietly, letting my eyes do a little... wandering. She's got a solid back arch.

"Hoh... consider me jealous." She coos, sinking further into the affections. 

This continues for several minutes, until I've basically got a melted version of Derpy draped over my lap, her eyes closed.

"I'm... getting really tired." She mutters, stifling a yawn by trying to keep her mouth closed; all she gets is a cute noise for her efforts. "If I... took a nap, would you wake me up in a few? Or if Dinky wakes up?" She asks softly.

I lean, planting a tender kiss on her lightly-damp fur. I had gotten most of the water out when I was drying her -- but it'd been hard to focus past the kisses she kept giving me. Looks like I missed a spot or two; but I don't think she minds. It's her fault, anyways.

"Sure thing." I smile, muttering it into her fur. She hums, content.

I'm not sure quite when she actually passes out; she doesn't start snoring like Dinky does, so I'm a little dissapointed. That would've been funny.

What she does do, however, is shift in her sleep. It's hard to continue a massage when a fully grown mare, dead asleep, climbs on top of your chest, pushing you to the bed with her full weight.

I'm now flat on my back, legs dangling off the side of the bed, while Derpy snoozes softly on top of me. In arms reach is Dinky, snoozing herself.

I check to see if she's being playful, poking at her side. She chuffs in my face, wriggling.

...

Can't beat 'em, join 'em. I wouldn't mind a nap myself. Wasnt terribly tired, but Derpy's sleepiness was ebbing onto me.

Softly stroking Derpy's back, I relent for a short slumber, head back, eyes shut.





I'm home. Well, old home. Earth. Sat in the woods behind my old house. It's autumn, the trees a soft, hazy gold and orange. Calm, quiet, nippy day. I'm bundled in a heavy jacket and a scarf.

I'm knelt in front of a rabbit, knees in the grass; it's watching me with wild eyes, back leg stuck in a snare trap, little chest heaving and hefting.

There's a knife in my hands. My knife.

My small, little hands.

I can hear my father behind me; but his words are hazy, out of focus. Most of the forest is. 

It's me, and the rabbit. I remember this. I was... ten. Eleven? Almost two decades ago.

There's a soft crunch of leaves on my other side, as something familiar and blue sits down beside me.

It's Luna. She looks... smaller. Younger. She glances between me, and the rabbit. I had a feeling that, since few things slept during the day, nappers were vulnerable to her wandering from her own dreams.

"...We see what you meant, when you said creatures of your land lacked the... sapience, they have in our world." She muses aloud. Still with the royal accent, though with the voice of a filly. "You dream often of memories, and little of fantasy."

I only nod. I'm watching the rabbit try to pull its leg loose again. My cheeks are cold.

"...If your kind eats such creatures, why do you hesitate?" She asks.

"...Dad said I can try hunting with his gun, if I can prove I can kill a rabbit." I respond. My voice feels, and sounds so... foreign. So young. Proof that I can take a life, close, before I take one through a scope.

She nods in understanding.
"A right of passage. Understandable." Luna falls silent, scooting closer. I think there's a semblance of morbid curiosity she has when exploring memories. She's from a... darker time, in Equestrian history.

My little hands carefully grip the knife. It's too big. It's hard to hold.

I hold the rabbit down feeling it squirm. It's tired. I can hear my father encouraging me. Luna watches, quiet.

The tip of the knife presses to its chest, digging in just past the fur, my fathers hand guiding mine. I hesitate a moment, watching the rabbits face.

Then I feel my father grip my shoulder -- and I push, hard and sudden. It slips right in.

The rabbit makes a muffled noise, and begins to slow in its wriggling. Soon, it's still.

I can feel my father patting my back, praising me.

I can feel Luna's gaze turn to my face, curious; it slowly drifts to look behind me, brow furrowed.

I start to feel that weight on my neck, like that last dream. But it only tingles this time. It doesn't hold me.

Luna looks to my face again, watching me with confusion.

My father has gone silent. I'm not even sure if he, or the forest is still there.

I've dropped the knife, the rabbit pulled closely to my chest, wrapped in my arms.

Tears pour down my little cheeks, wetting the now-still rabbits fur as I sniffle.





I can feel something pressing against my head. Feels like hooves. Little hooves. I'm holding something fluffy.

I open my eyes. I've got Dinky held against my chest with an arm over her back. She's grinning widely, poking at my face with hooves.

Derpy is curled up on my stomach, snoozing quietly.

"Good morning, Mister Muss." Dinky grins.

I rub my eyes, groaning.
"...Hey, Dinkster. When did you get up?"

"I was watching you and Mom for a bit, and then you looked real sad. So I came over to check on you, and you grabbed me up." She smiles, smooshing my cheeks with her hooves. She's curious about my teeth, but with a little less reservation than Derpy, outright poking the healed scar tissue around my exposed teeth.

"Do you eat meat?" Dinky asks.

"Not very often, but sometimes." I nod. Wish it was more often, honestly.

"Ever eat a pony?" 

Not yet, I huff to myself, glancing at Derpy.
"Nope."

"Are you going to?"

"...Maybe. Still thinking about it."

"Can I pick who you do eat, if you do want to eat a Pony?"

"Depends. Who?"

"Diamond Tiara. She's a meanie filly at my school."

"...No, don't think I can eat fillies from your school." I tsk, shaking my head.

"Boo." Dinky pouts, letting my face go.

"Why is she mean?" I ask.

"She likes to make fun of me and the others for not having cutie marks, and calls us blank flanks." Dinky explains, poking at my adam's apple. I scrunch my neck in response, getting a giggle out of her.

"You tell your teacher?"

"Yeah, but Diamond just waits until she's not around. And her friend Silver Spoon helps."

"Is it just name-calling, or just she get physical?" I prod. Honestly, bullying never crossed my mind.

Dinky shrugs, now poking my ear.

"Shrugging isn't an answer, Dinky."

"...Sometimes." Dinky says, quieter.

I purse my lips. Hrm.

Obviously I can't just waltz in and actually... do anything about it. And there's not much I can do to relay any change...

Would I get in trouble for teaching a filly self-defense?

"Aren't there like, four of you, to her two?" I ask, confused.

I watch as Dinky's face twists in thought. It's like a lightbulb just went off in her head. Uh oh. Hope that little moment of clarity doesn't backfire.

My personal wonderings, tucked away for later, are interrupted by Derpy stirring, lifting her head to look at the sudden increase in noise. Her mane dried at a funny angle, giving her some serious bedhead.

"Morning, Mom!" Dinky beams, clambering down me to hop on her moms back. Derpy groans on the impact, smacking her lips.

"...It better not be." Derpy grumbles, squinting for the window; my own gaze following.

Longer shadows draping over the other buildings, slight orange glow to the days light. Evening. Perfect; didn't oversleep.

Derpy sighs in relief, putting her head back down on my leg.
"You were supposed to wake me when she got up." She says aloud.

"Just woke up myself. You proved just too cuddly -- sorry." I hum, reaching down to scratch at whatever I can reach. 

Think that's an ear. Yeah, that's the noise she makes when I get her ear.

"Ready to go for Dinner, Dinkster?" I goad; the fillys head bobbles up and down, practically launching off me to bounce across the bed.

"And how about you?" I ask softer, towards the sleepy mass of grey fur occupying my lap.

"...No chance I could ask you to carry me again...?" She huffs playfully, eyes still closed.

She makes an adorable, alarmed squeak, eyes flashing open as I sit up, digging my arms under her back and lifting her up against my chest, bridal-style. 

"Sure. If you can live with the stares, I'll even carry you to meet the Princess." I tease.

My joke sets a chain-reaction in her mind, as she slides out from sleepy, and into in-denial shock again. Her face thumps against my chest, and she groans.
"...I still can't believe that's happening tomorrow." 

"She's a lot more casual than you think. It'll be a good time. Think of it like... we're visiting one of my friends." I try offering. No dice.

"...A friend who rules the entire nation." She mumbles into my chest, huffing.
"I'm too hungry for this. Are we good to go?" 

"...I kind of need to pee, before we go." I whisper.

"...Hurry up. And wash your hooves. Hands. All of it." She mumbles, that playful streak starting to kick back in.





I'd asked the Clerk for any recommendations. Apparently, there was a really good sandwich place just around the corner that a lot of the staff liked to swing by, for lunch. Derpy liked the sound of that; Dinky was sold when the clerk told her they had coloring pages to draw on.

I let her know the offer still stood, but Derpy relented to walking alongside me, joking I could carry her on the way back. 

Now I felt obligated to make that happen.

She still looked tired, but she looked... content. There was a soft smile that didn't leave her face, even though her eyelids were drooping. Any time we paused to look around the various streets, she'd lean against my leg, sighing softly. I think so far, the trip was going pretty damn well.

Away from the Fair, it was much quieter. With only a few Ponies out and about on their evening tasks, this was a rare, peaceful side of Canterlot that I hadn't seen yet. Certainly made things more enjoyable, not having to push through the days crowds for a bite to eat.

Compared to Derpy, Dinky was reloaded on energy and raring to go, bounding around and staring into storefronts. 

"Dinky, don't run so far ahead." Derpy calls out softly. It gets Dinky to freeze up for a moment, but she's readily distracted again.

"I've got her, Derpy. You take it easy." I assure her, reaching down to nudge one of her ears.

She leans against me, huffing.
"...Thanks Anon. I can't imagine this day having gone as smoothly without you being here." 

"Whatever keeps that pretty smile on that pretty face." A little cheesy, but I was feeling the mood.

"Found it!" Dinky shouts, spinning in place to face us -- she's jabbing a hoof at a store a few shops up, with a very blatant sandwich-shaped sign.

Dinky hops in place as we catch up, giving me a chance to read the front. 

"Sal Pimento's Sandwichery." I read. It's difficult to imagine a Pony named Sal. Mustache, for sure. The storefront did look very... Italian, in styling. Quaint. Homey. I liked it; colorful green overhang, with soft-colored wood.

"Doesn't look terribly busy." Derpy adds -- the door jingles as Dinky holds it open for us. Theres a good few other groups in there; definitely more filled tables than empty.

What good manners, that little Filly. That, or she's trying to rush us inside. Probably the latter, the way she just keeps hopping in place, holding the door with her butt. The door jingles every time she bounces, drawing a few eyes. Woops.





Stepping inside, there's a very comfortable atmosphere here. A fair amount of regulars, is the feeling I get. There's jokes, and conversations that filter between tables. Half of them look related, too. Wonder if this was a Little-Italy type situation; a little speckle of distant culture, slapped in Canterlot. I don't even get more than a few curious glances, before they're right back to minding their business.

Booths line the walls, with tables taking up the middle. Plenty of paintings hang above the booths, mostly family portraits or some cultural references I'm not aware of. They kept the color theme in here, too. Definitely a Little Italy; they had a bakery back there, too.

We politely make our way to the front, where -- I can only guess to be Sal, judging by the heftier weight, and a mustache -- greets us warmly.

If the food was good, no way I wasn't coming back here. 

Dinky got a grilled cheese, and specified "Leave the crust on, I'm a big Filly". That got a laugh.

Derpy had an appetite, apparently; she sprung for a sizable salad-sub. A salad, jammed in a sub. Lightly toasted. 

When it was my turn, Sal motioned for my attention, and pointed near the end of the menu they had displayed at the top.

They had a non-Pony species subsection.

It had fish. They had a fried fish sandwich.

It takes everything I have not to fall to my knees in the middle of the store. Sal informs me "Of course we serve fish; I got a cousin datin' a Griffon, course we got fish!". I was sold.

Orders settled, we got our sides and drinks. Derpy wouldn't let me pay this time, accusing me of covering far too much already; and instead bought my sandwich for me, too. Sweet thing.

We find ourselves an empty table, all the booths being taken, with a number in hand, and a kids drawing paper, crayons included, in hoof. Well, in magic horn magic grasp, but same difference. We had about three orders ahead of us, so we had some time to k--waste. I was getting faster on catching that one.

Derpy settles into her seat, sighing softly; she almost lays her head on the table, until Dinky scoots her little chair right up beside her mom, grinning; the Filly can barely see over the table.

I sit across from them, so we've got some space between us to actually put our food. The chair ain't too bad, but Derpy pouts at me for it; I think she was planning to lean on me.

"Can't have you falling back asleep before we get our food." I tease, leaning my elbows on the table.

"I'm going to sleep really good tonight." Deepy nods, stifling a yawn with her wing.

Dinky has her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth, squinting over the edge of the table. She's got a yellow crayon in her magical grasp, and is going crazy with it across the coloring page. Sun? Yellow. Sky? Yellow. Grass? Yellow.

Live your little yellow dreams, little filly.

"You seemed excited to find they had fish." Derpy brings up, curious. "You're an omnivore, right? I feel like we've covered this, but I just like asking."

"Asking about my teeth." I grin. 

She doesn't even deny it, throwing me a little look. 

"Yeah. I just don't get a chance for those type of 'meals' very often in Ponyville. Pretty much an only-pony population, and Fluttershy gets mopey whenever I try to bring up fishing. Apparently she has fish-friends." I sigh, head in my hand. Each day,  I weigh the impact of upsetting Fluttershy to actually getting to eat fish.

Each day, I'm getting closer to picking fish.

"...I should get a fishing rod while I'm here. There's a river not too far into the Everfree from my house." I muse aloud. 

"Have you been fishing before?" Derpy inquires, watching my scratch my chin in thought.

Dinky has now covered nearly half the page in yellow. Oh -- she's reaching for... red. House? Red. Clouds? Red. She knew what she wanted.

"A few times, yeah. I kind of dabbled in outdoors stuff. Fishing, Camping... Hunting." I say the last one quieter. Tolerant of fish, sure, but Hunting was still a pretty foreign, if threatening concept to Ponies.

"What was it like, back in your... old world, the forests?" Derpy asks, her cautiously empathetic approach still visible despite her tired state. "You didn't have Pegasi for the weather; was your whole world like a... big Everfree?"

"Uh... yeah, kinda. It's called Earth. Whole world is, like you put it, like the Everfree. But a little less magical. And the monsters didn't get quite so big." I simplify, huffing in amusement at the thought of trying to tangle with sentient deer during hunting season, or a giant, blue bear. "No control of the weather, some plants aren't good to eat and can even be dangerous, and a fair amount of animals there were bigger than me. Not that I ran into too many of them, thankfully."

I heard that Fluttershy knew a bear... but where was the limit?

Hearing that Deer were another sentient race threw me for a pretty good loop. Haven't seen one yet, though. They were apparently pretty reclusive. Were Moose the same? Were they like the Bear, or like the Deer? Confusing stuff, all around.

"How weird was it? For you, getting used to Equestria? Dinky told me how you explained to her, that your kind is the only Sapient species, even though we share a lot of species." Derpy continues. Dinky glances up from her page, nodding vehemently before reaching for... blue. One, single blue rabbit. Masterful.

Dinky always had a load of questions for me whenever she came over; not surprised she'd repeat it to Derpy. Honestly, probably saved me a lot of repeated explanations.

"Wasn't that hard, honestly. Just kind of weird, getting used to things that were considered 'Just Animals', now having full conversations with me. My diet was the weirdest one; figuring out how to get what I need vitamins-wise and all that. Twilight was a big help." I explain.

"Do you miss it at all? If you could go back... would you?" Derpy asks, softer now. Not as heavy-hitting if a question as it used to be, thanks to... recent events.

"I miss some parts, sure; like anyone misses anything that's gone. Honestly, though... doing pretty good here. No small thanks to a pair of some-ponies." I smile, reaching an upturned hand across the table, letting it sit on the surface.

I expected her hoof to reach out in turn; instead, Derpy lays her face in my palm, humming softly to the obligatory chin scratches.

She gets very physically endearing when she's tired; something that is duly noted for my own very honest reasons, later.

It doesn't take much longer for for our food to be ready; once Dinky shows off her masterpiece, grinning proudly to a quiet round of applause from Derpy and myself, I hear Sal call our number.

"I've got it." I grunt, scooting out of my seat, and crossing the crowd. I shift around a purple-colored stallion moving the other direction, their own food in glowing horn, as I'm approaching the counter. Our order is being stacked onto a tray, Sal giving me a wide, bemoustached grin.

"Never served a something like you's, before. You mind if we's add you's to the Non-Pony species list?" He starts as I lean down, sliding our tray towards me, before pointing at their little sub-menu I'd ordered from. Damn, it smells good.

"Sure; H-U-M-A-N, Human. If any others get stuck here like I did, I'll let them know about Sal's." I grin back--noticing our tray seems a little extra loaded. Who ordered fries?

"Human? You's got it. Oh, an' we's included some extra hay-fries for you's an'  you's Marefriend." Sal points out, noticing my confusion. "Don't often see other species steppin' up like that, so good on you's. I gots this cousin, Celestia bless his soul, swept off his hooves by this Beautiful Hippogriff girl, who got left with a little one herself; best thing that's ever happened to him, I swear on my mother." Sal elaborates, waving his hooves through the air while he talks. And I thought I used my hands alot when I spoke; I had nothing on Sal's movements.

Yeah, definitely coming back here next time I'm in Canterlot. I can't help but pause for a moment to chat with Sal; he speak and acts like they took an Italian stereotype, shoved him into a pony body, and made sure he kept the mustache. I don't catch a glance of his Cutie-Mark, but I have a few guesses.

Oh, scratch that. He just turned to yell something to another staff member, and I caught a glimpse; it's a heart. That'll teach me to assume.





It's pretty hard not to get looped into chatting with Sal; he's a very social guy--or stallion, with a natural strength for conversation. Thankfully, he shoos me back to my table so I "Don't keeps you's Marefriend waitin', the Filly's getting antsy.".

Stepping around and between tables and Ponies, I get back to our table, tray intact. Dinky's eyes are ready to pop out of her little head the moment she locks on to my return, and I can tell she's barely restraining herself from grabbing up her food with her horn.

Obviously, since I learn from my experiences, I quickly serve the Filly her food first the moment I reach the table, lest I subject another one of my shirts to a Dinky-Caliber event.

Derpy seems a little more awake, though she's looking into the crowd, squinting. Even setting her food in front of her doesn't pull her attention.

Curious, I try my best to follow her gaze, matching her nose-point while I put my own food in front of myself.

Dinky is already digging in; it's between one of two tables, I think. One with four Ponies, two mares and two stallions, and...

I squint slightly. It's that Purple-colored stallion I passed earlier. He's sat at a table with a Mare, another Unicorn, and a Filly who looks to be probably half Dinky's age; and looks quite a bit like her, just mixed in with the mares off-blue colors.

...I glance between Dinky, and the Stallion. Several times. Each time I do, the resemblance makes itself more and more clear.

Same Mane color, same fur color. Both Unicorns. 

I glance at Derpy. She looks... uncomfortable? A little angry. Her face has a few emotions on it, and I don't think even she can decide which one she's supposed to feel right now.

I think I can put two and two together.

I lean over, tapping the part of the table directly in front of Derpy to get her attention. She glances at me quickly, before looking back at the table. Then she double-takes, blinking several in realization that I'm back; that the food is here, that I'm getting her attention. 

"O-Oh. Sorry, Anon, I..." She mumbles, glancing over towards the Unicorn again.

"So what's the game plan?" I whisper, trying not to draw Dinky's attention as she ravishes her meal.

"Huh?" Derpy mutters, looking back to me, confused.

"That who I think it is?" I ask softly. She hasn't explained the situation, but it's not a terribly unfamiliar one. I grew up with sisters; I've been subjected to enough TV dramas to pick up on the signs.

"It's... uh..." She glances to Dinky. Yeah, that about confirms it. I upturn my hand, palm up again. This time, she gives me her hoof; she looks conflicted.

"So how do you wanna play this? We taking our food to go?" I offer, trying to keep her from slipping focus again.  I squeeze her hoof softly, smiling.

"W-why would we-- huh?" She searches my face, confused.

"I don't want you sitting through anything you're not comfortable with, whether I know what's going on or not. Your call, if we stay here, or take our food to the park, or the hotel, or if I throw a chair at the guy; doesn't matter to me. What do you need right now?" I affirm carefully. I want her to be comfortable, whatever the situation is. If we need to go, then we go.

That last offer seems to break her from her stupor a little, turning to stare at me, giving me an odd look until she sees I'm still smiling. She looks down at the hand I'm reaching out with, holding her hoof, tenderly stroking her fur with my thumb.

She looks back across the restaurant, to the table. It's a mixture of... wistful resentment. A slow, quiet sighs escapes her lips, as she looks at them.

Then she looks to Dinky. A smile forms on her face, as she reaches to ruffle Dinky's messy little mane. The Filly pauses her devouring, grinning with food-peppered teeth at her mom, before getting back to it.

Then she looks at me.

And that smile. That wide, sad smile that crinkled those little freckles, and puts a dimple in her cheek. It sits so quietly on her face, humming softly.

"...No. No, I'm alright. We... are alright. Thank you, Anon." She says quietly, clearing her throat and sitting a little straighter. Attagirl.

We stare, for what feels like a long, long moment. It doesn't matter which way they point, I know those brimming, golden eyes are just staring right at me.

She finally pulls her hoof back, shifting in her seat. I lean back in my own chair, looking back to my own food. Not cold, thankfully; I think that moment felt longer than it was.

"...But no throwing chairs." She giggles weakly, the smile still stuck to her face. "Wait, who ordered Hayfries?"

"Oh, Sal gave us those; thought we made a cute couple or something. Told me how he has a cousin or two doing similar... dating practices, with a Hippogriff. Very pro inter-species, this place." I explain, happy to see her doing alright.

"Sal?" Derpy tilts her head.

"Yeah. He's a memorable guy. Reminds me of home. The guy who took our order." I repeat.

"...What's the name of the Clerk, back at the Hotel?" She asks, raising an eyebrow. Oh, buzz off, bubblebutt, like you know it either.

"...I think it's the mustache, honestly." I muse, scratching my chin.

"Would you prefer if I had a mustache?" Derpy teases, holding a hayfry over her top lip.

"Would you prefer if I had one?" I counter, putting my finger over my own.

She motions for me to lean forward, to which I oblige, before she puts a hoof on my cheek, rotating my face, turning it this way and that.

"...I think you'd look good with one." She hums approvingly, letting me go with a little pat.

We don't worry about the other table. We've got everything we need right here; Dinky, grinning, grabs a fry to join in, the three of us laughing over hay-fry mustaches.

I can see that same stallion glance over a few times as we laugh. But Derpy doesn't pay it any mind; so I don't either. The three of us, at this table -- that's what matters.
> Chapter 27 - First Night in Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door jingles as the three of us leave; place was too tasty for leftovers. 

I don't think I'm gonna forget Sal's for a long while; thinking of that fried fish. Mm. 

Derpy seems to be in a good mood, too; she's woken up a bit now that we've got some fuel in her, and Dinky is trotting around her mom excitedly. 

"I think we've got some energy to burn, and a few hours left in the day. If I remember right, the park isn't far from here." I ruminate aloud.

"...We could swing by. I don't think I've seen it since I was a Filly." Derpy nods, head tilted to look up at me in interest. "Want to see the park, Dinky?" 

"Only if I can see it from Mister Muss's head!" She grins, sliding to a stop in front of me.

"Dinky, you can't bother Anon every--" Derpy starts, missing it as she blinks.

We both stare at her. Dinky is already leaned against the back of my head, little hooves kicking out past my neck, giggling.

"...You two are getting weirdly fast with this." Derpy notes, looking up at her daughter.

We grin.





Quiet side-streets lead us further into Canterlot. If I remember, it was... 

"That way!" Dinky shouts from atop my head, drawing a few passerby's glances as she points a hoof forward.

Right, I've got my navigational tool. I'm pretty sure she's just guessing, but--

Nope, I see the fountain. She's good.

The stone walls that surround the sizable park come into view first, topped by fancy metal bars. Open sections between them form into cobbled paths, that sweep and sway through the grassy park, speckled in flowers, trees and shrubbery. While half the park seems to denote more to stone-based structures, benches and tables, the other half splits into just paths and benches, working their way around a sizable lake, which sits a family of sleepy ducks. Evening, orange sun splashes overtop the water, giving it a sparkly haze.

There's not too many other Ponies out, only a few out on the paths or chatting on benches. Another plus to wandering around while the Fair was ongoing. A single Guard nods politely to us as we cross the threshold, stood at a relaxed attention.

I consider asking Dinky if she wants the chance to get down and run around, but I can hear her giggling to herself, enjoying being the tallest, grandest little filly in the park. As you were, the Tallest.

Derpy makes a comfortable hum as she saunters beside me, overlooking the greenery as we slowly round the path.

"Today was... really nice, Anon. I'm really happy you came with us." She says warmly.

"And we've still got a day left. Thinking of squeezing in another round on the Wonderbolt track? I'm sure we'd have time." I ask playfully, giving her side a little nudge with my leg.

"No, no." She chuckles softly. "That was enough for me. Well... I might start flying a little higher than I normally do during my routes, but still." 

"Wonderbolting it while ferrying packages? I'm sure there's some skill overlap. You should go to that tryout; what was it, next month?" 

"Anon, I'm not trying out for the Wonderbolts; they want young recruits, who aren't tied down. Not older Mares with a Foal who already work a full-time job." Derpy tries to deflect, but I'm not having any of it.

"Look, Older Women are hot and all, but aren't you and Dash basically the same age? I know you're not nearly as old as you think you are. I think you just need more fun sprinkled into your life." I counter, giving her a look. I think she's just been shackled with too much responsibility on her own for too long. She needs a rekindling to the idea that she's allowed to do things for herself; and I'm glad to help.

"You're very sweet Anon, but no. I had my fun. It's just... not in the cards. Not with my condition. It's one thing to run an all-cloud track, it's another to actually fly like a Wonderbolt." She sighs, seeming resolute on the matter.

Dinky pats the side of my face opposite of Derpy, before leaning to whisper in my ear.

"Mom would make the coolest Wonderbolt." She whispers firmly. That's not a childish observation or a familial praise.

That's a demand, from my Grand Regent, the Tallest. Her Mom would be the coolest Wonderbolt.
"Understood." I whisper back, as Dinky rises back up to lean on my head again.

"I think you'd crush it a lot harder than you realize." I prod, testing the waters.

"Please. You saw how sore I got; well, still am." Derpy huffs, giving her wings a little flap.

"Yeah, after what? An hour straight of keeping up with Rainbow Dash, one of the six Elements and Creator of the... Rainblow?" I protest.

"Rainboom." Dinky corrects.

"That." I nod. "You Mail-Mare like no Pegasus I've seen, and I think it's kept you in better shape than you think." 

"...That's sweet, Anon, but I can't." Derpy repeats after a longer pause. We're wearing her down, I can feel it.

"What if... Dinky hung out with me, during the tryouts? You go to Cloudsdale, participate in the event, enjoy yourself, and I watch Dinky while you're gone?" I offer; backed up by Dinky's vehement nodding. 

"That's..." Derpy sighs.

"I know you'd crush it. You've maintained one hell of a physique thanks to your work, and you'd have a month to kick in a little extra training. Carry a few extra boxes, bank your routes a little harder. We'll turn Sundays into your rest days." I keep the offer rolling, supported further by Dinky, who continues to nod with each point.

Derpy is silent for a long moment; I don't push it, letting her ruminate. It's clearly clashing with some long-cemented ideals she's gotten used to.

Her gaze floats over the lake as we slowly start to circle it.

"Even if, I figured out a way to... actually handle that. Being a Wonderbolt is... a lot, Anon, and I haven't looked into it in years. I can't afford a heavy life shift like that, and with my condition, it doesn't matter how good I fly." She explains. There's a somber acceptance in her voice, like she'd already given up on the idea long ago. "Dinky is the one who needs that kind of focus, now."

"But what if I want you to be a Wonderbolt?" Dinky asks. 

That gets a pause out of Derpy, who looks up at her daughter, still sat on my shoulder; she's leaning off my head, holding me for support.

"We both found stuff at the Fair that we want to do, Mom. I want you to be happy, too! Plus, Mister Muss is fun! I already hang out with him, like, all the time!" The Filly squeaks. 

I think that last point is the one that hits Derpy the hardest. I know she hates how little time she actually gets to spend with her daughter, since she spends so much time working. I don't know what kind of obligations keep her working that hard, but it's clear she's scared of any life-shift making things worse.

"...I'll... think about it, okay?" Derpy offers, smiling weakly before looking back over the lake.

Dinky goes to add more, but I pinch her little snout shut, pulling it down so I can whisper to her.

"Moderation. Gotta give your mom time to think about it." I warn; Dinky nods, making a zip-motion across her lips. 

We both play it off by the time she looks back up to us.

"Whatever you need, Derpy; you know I'm here for you." I say warmly, earning a bump against my leg.

"Yeah, I know. You've made that pretty clear at this point." She teases, that smile getting a little wider. "And I appreciate it. A lot."

"You serve our noble house, well, Sir Mister Muss." Dinky decrees, patting the top of my head.

"Thank you, your Tallness." I reply proudly.

Derpy still isn't quite sure what to make of our little bit, stifling a laugh.





We walked that park for a good while, enjoying the calm scenery as orange light began drooping, and the shadows got longer and longer. Late-Evening was about the time we called it, heading back to the Hotel.

I can't help but glance up towards the Castle, every time it peeks into view between the buildings we pass. The guards are starting to get phased out by their Thestral counterparts, exchanging Golden, almost Roman armor for their Deep-Blue, swept style. While some Ponies might be more fearful of them, I found them more endearing than their day counterparts. Weirdos stick up for weirdos, I guess. They tend to wave back more than the Royal Guards.

There's a different Clerk at the desk when we get back inside the Hotel's lobby; mottled brown fur, big thick glasses. They're not quite as Chipper, but provide a polite nod anyway. They see Dinky fiddling with the keys, recognizing we're a guest already.

Derpy refutes being carried up the stairs again, feeling spry enough to climb them herself again; though Dinky holds no such restrictions. My back is thankful to just stick to carrying one, our door clicking open, and shut as we're back in the room once-more.

Dinky is promptly deposited onto the bed, like a football, spiked right into the cushions. She enjoys it immensely, giggling as she bounces.

Speaking of cushions, looks like they left me the spare Blankets and Pillows as requested. Now I can look into getting those chairs set up for a solid snooze. Once I've gotten my jacket and shoes off, I'm bundling them up in my arms, fending off Dinky as she tries to yoink an extra pillow for herself. She gets smacked by one for her troubles.

"Dinky, leave Anon be and go brush your teeth; toothbrush is in the smaller luggage." Derpy mothers at Dinky, who relents, hopping down off the bed. Unzipping, rummaging, and off to the bathroom to prepare for the night, Dinky leaves me and Derpy alone in the room for the moment, the washroom clicking shut. I can hear Dinky humming through the door as the water runs.

Both my arms are full of spare pillows and blankets as I feel a tail flick against my leg. I have to crane my neck to glance over the stuff I'm carrying, finding my route to my chair-to-be-beds intercepted by a particularly grey, bubble-butted Pony that's staring up at me.

"One 'hell' of a physique, huh?" She chuffs, throwing me a playful stare.

"Meant every word of it." I affirm. I'm tempted to drop the blankets and pillows on her, but don't want to risk the mood by being too playful.

Derpy sobers up for a moment, the smile fading.
"...About today. At Sal's... thank you. Did you... want me to tell you about it? About him? Would that make you uncomfortable?"

"Tell me whatever you're comfortable with, Derpy. You don't have to worry about me." I affirm, smiling down at her.

I feel her tug my pant-leg, as she trots towards the bed, hopping up and settling on its edge. She pats beside herself, and I oblige, setting the spare sheets down beside us as I creak onto the mattress. We both crane an ear towards the bathroom, Dinky still humming to herself, sink still running, all muffled by the door.

Derpy takes a deeper breath, sitting on her haunches to try and face me properly.

"...That was Dinky's father, as I'm sure you figured. His name is Ponet. I met him in Ponyville, some time after I moved here and got settled. He was... nice. A comfort, after Cloudsdale." She starts; I can tell it's hard for her to talk about this, but I keep a comforting hand on her hoof while she works through it. Derpy pauses now and then, as she figures out how to word it, or to listen for Dinky.

"He'd go on and talk about Magic for hours, how he wanted to be one of Canterlot's top Unicorns. I could listen to him for hours... he never judged my impairment; said it made me special. I never really realized how he didn't ask too much about me until afterwards." She sighs. "A simple Mail-Mare like me, given a chance to be with an up-and-coming somebody, is how my family put it. They liked him a lot. Or at least, the idea of him. I didn't notice so much, because I was just so happy to have... something."

"He... he was pretty excited, when he found out we were going to have a Foal together. So we got a House together, threw together a quick ceremony... it was his idea, and I thought I wanted nothing else. We dreamt big, based on his big future, about plans for a successful career, loads of bits. He got even more excited when Dinky was born; that she was a Unicorn, like him. Thought it was going really good for us, that he had it all figured out. But..." Derpy trails off, lip quivering. I tenderly stroke her hoof, and she glances at my hand, pursing her lip. "Things weren't going good for him, trying to apply at Canterlot. Dinky... she wasn't taking after his hoof-steps as much as he was hoping. Ponet started getting... angrier. Started snapping at us. He didn't think my clumsiness was as cute anymore, especially not as my condition worsened. He'd yell about... how expensive the things I was breaking were. How I kept ruining my glasses, how I was embarrassing him." Her voice is heavy with emotion, her face twisted in a variety of pained expressions.  

"Sometimes... yelling wasn't enough. He never put a hoof on Dinky, but... he got close. We argued when he put a hoof through the wall when she was being fussy, and he stormed out. Found out he found another Mare, whose father had some Canterlot connections. I haven't heard from him since, and hadn't seem him... well, until now. That's been... probably a couple years, now. I don't know how well Dinky remembers him, but... I never know how I want to tell her, if she asks." Derpy says softly, voice tinged with betrayal, rubbing one of her legs with a hoof.

"Since he left, I've been paying off the mortgage; and since we never officially divorced, and he skipped town, I've also been paying off some of the debts that he had. That, and Dinky's schooling... well, that's why I'm always working. We barely break even each month. I'm... terrified, because if I so much as get hurt seriously, once, we're... done for. I can't afford that. Not the time, not the Bits. And Dinky doesn't deserve that." She continues, her voice quieter than before, trembling as she explains herself to me, opening her worries.

I pull her close against me, almost dragging her onto my lap as I hold this poor, trembling Mare as tightly as I can without hurting her, my head resting atop of hers.

"I... I guess the worst part, is seeing how... happy, he looks. Looked. With his 'New Family'. Like he just... moved on, and didn't face anything for it. No Karma, no kickback... he's just, happy in Canterlot, while I struggle to break even from... I never want to call it a mistake, because Dinky is the best thing that's ever happened to me... but..." She mumbles, sighing heavily, body trembling as she does.

"...Not that you haven't given me a new reason to be happy, for the first time in years." Derpy quietly adds, wrapping her own hooves around me now, and returning the hug.

For a long moment, I simply hold her, gently stroking her fur.

"...You said he never put a hoof on Dinky?" I ask quietly.

She nods.

"...What about you?" I follow up.

Derpy is silent for a long moment. I squeeze her a little tighter.

"I will never lay a hand on you, or Dinky, in any capacity that isn't brimming with love. I want you to know that." I whisper. It's not my place to throw my anger or threats at him, now. I don't care about him; I care about this beautiful Mare. At least now, I know to never let him get too close.

I can feel her nod against my chest.

"...What if you get tired of me? If I get worse? I... I don't want to put Dinky through anything like that again." I hear her mutter into my chest.

"You gonna get sick of me and my limp?" I counter, smiling softly. I gently hold her chin, nudging her to look up at me. Those big, sweet eyes are tear-speckled, staring right through me.

"Of course not." She answers surprisingly quickly, and concisely, frowning slightly.

"Then it sounds like you know my answer, too. I fell in love with a clumsy, caring Mail-Mare with a heart as gold as her eyes, and her adorable, silly daughter. And I wouldn't have it any other way." I affirm firmly. She sniffles, reaching up to wrap her hooves over my shoulders, pulling me into another tight hug.

"I trust you, Anon. I trust you so much. I... you've been so patient. So loving. So... willing to care. I really, really want us to work. I want Dinky to have someone reliable, like you, in her life. Is it really okay if we're not... normal? If we're taking it slow? Is it enough for you?" She mutters into my neck; I can feel her tears wet my skin. "I... I don't want you to leave, because you aren't getting what you want."

"You beautiful, silly mare. The only thing I want is what we're doing right now. Just... us. Doing whatever feels natural. The last thing I want is you to push yourself into something you aren't comfortable or ready for. I'm patient, because I'm not... 'Looking' for anything specific out of this, Derpy. We're both... well, experienced in things that make us seek something other than the normal, standard idea of a relationship. I just want to be a part of you, and Dinky's lives. Those... quiet, Sunday mornings where we make breakfast and play games. Walks where we can just... zone out and talk. Those scant few minutes during your shift, where you can find time to visit me and Dinky. That's what I want. I want you, Derpy; every part of you, no ifs, ands or butts." I state; the words are starting to get caught in my throat, as my own emotions start catching up with me.

We slowly part from the hug, staring at each other. It's all too tempting to start counting those pretty freckles, but I resist for the moment.

"...I lo--" Derpy goes to say, but I press my finger to her lips. She stares at me for a moment -- then also picks up on it. The water is off, and Dinky isn't humming.

We both quickly try to scramble to look a little more presentable, Derpy rubbing her eyes and me quickly scooping up the spare sheets, as Dinky exits the washroom. She blows a big raspberry, stopping a few feet into the room. 

She squints at us, glancing between the two of us as we glance away.

"...I forgot to... wash my... horn." Dinky slowly claims, taking several large hoof-steps back towards the bathroom.

The door shuts, and the water starts running again, muffled.

We both see a little horn stick out the bottom of the door, as Dinky tries to peep.

I suddenly feel my shirt collar get grabbed by a pair of hooves, as Derpy pulls us nose-to-nose.

"Anon. Is... is it to early to say I love you?" She whispers, breath hot on my face. She's staring at me expectantly.

For a moment, my mind thinks about... us. We've only been dating a couple weeks. We've only known each other a little longer than that.

Yet, I can't imagine myself enjoying a day where either of these two aren't there. Trying to prepare for the ever-busy Derpy's arrival, getting her something to eat and drink... bumming around my house with whatever else is going on, Dinky's little curious eyes staring, and that unusual wit she has glaring through.

"I love you too, Derpy." I whisper back. There's no doubt when I say it. It's hard to focus on those mottled freckles, this close.

Our lips meet, Derpy pulling me close. She sighs a throaty, heavy exhale into my mouth, pressing hard against me.

We have to wrap it up fairly quick though; almost forgot Dinky was basically peeping on us, and we can hear her horn thudding against the door as she tries to find a good peeping angle.

"Let me go and get set up on the chairs." I affirm, getting ready to stand.

A firm hoof doesn't let me rise from the mattress. 

"We... already showered together, Anon. If you're... comfortable with it, I know Dinky would be stoked... and I would enjoy it if you... would join us. In the bed." Derpy explains, blush apparent on her cheeks. "Not for... you know, Dinky is here, but..."

"You want me in there because I'm just so warm, huh?" I tease, grinning.

"Maybe." She jokes back, smiling at me.

"That sounds lovely, Derpy. Are you sure?" I ask one final time, to make sure.

"Positive." She says without hesitation, giving me a quick peck on the nose.





Derpy


The room is dark, lit only by the vague moonlight splashing through the window and its translucent curtains. 

The bed is massive, easily able to fit us all, swathed under numerous blankets and pillows. It's far more luxurious than I ever expected to get, during this trip. Or... ever, really.

Curled against my stomach is Dinky, snoring peacefully, clinging to Anon's hand as it reaches overtop of me to reach her.

I can feel Anon nestled against my back, my wings pressed between us, as I lay between him and Dinky. His arm is draped overtop of both of us, the other arm cradling his own head, laid curled up against me.

He wasn't wrong. He's... very, very warm. It's nice. His hugs have always been nice. Tender. Careful.

This is... really nice. All of this. Especially... this. My hoof traces the arm that rests atop me, the slightest heat from his breath against my mane.

For the first time in a long time, I feel... safe.

I also feel a soft kiss press against me, through my mane. 

"Not asleep yet?" I whisper softly, barely turning.

I can feel his head shake against my fur, as he plants another kiss. 

My eyes are still red, but I feel better. I haven't been able to, or been comfortable with, explaining... that, to anypony until now. It felt good knowing some...one knew, and someone cared.

I didn't expect to see her father here. But... as I feel Anon plant another soft kiss against me, I realize... I don't care as much as I did.

The only thing I dread now is how quickly I'm falling asleep, knowing it means that this moment will end sooner.

...But there's plenty more up ahead.

I sigh softly, nuzzling further into Anon, and pull Dinky closer against myself.

"Goodnight, Anon." I whisper.

"...Sleep well, Bubble Butt." I hear him whisper, words tinged by a barely-contained grin.

I can't get a good tail-slap in from under the covers. He probably planned around that. I audibly sigh, twisting to pout at him.

I get a kiss for my troubles.
> Chapter 28 - Morning, Star
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------





Anon


I don't know when I fell asleep. I was definitely the last one to knock out for the night, considering how long I spent listening to Derpy's paced, quiet breathing as she rested against me. Dinky had been clinging to my hand like it was a teddy bear, hooves wrapped around it. Or, was.

Wasn't in bed anymore. Another dream.

Somethings... off, with this one. It's not often I figure it out this quickly.

I'm at my old Home. Back on earth. My Cabin, nestled in the woods, about an hour from town.

It's autumn. I'm sitting on my chair, on the patio, enjoying crisp, morning air.

The Moon watches me through the speckled canopy. It definitely shouldn't still be up; the moment I find myself thinking that, it seems to shy further behind the trees. Subtle.

There's this... pinching, on my neck, that makes my face scrunch. It's not too unlike the prior feelings of pressure, but it's far more muted. Almost... annoyed?

I notice I have a cup of warm coffee in my hands. I sip it, quietly. It's good. I don't think I made it, because it doesn't taste like how I usually make it. Who made it then?

Somethings... missing. I go to set my coffee down -- but notice there's a second cup, already on the little table beside my chair. 

I glance down at my lap, past my arms and the coffee I'm holding.

Familiar grey fur, curled on my lap, head rested against my stomach. She's breathing slowly and quietly, stirring ever so slightly in her sleep, wings twitching. She has the cutest little pair of round glasses on her nose.

I look up, out past the patio, to the opening in the forest that makes my 'yard'. A small, speeding lavender bullet slams into a leaf pile, giggling as leaves are sent flying. It's hard not to smile as that little face peeks out, grinning at me.

You don't deserve this.

I barely hear something, so quiet, I'm not sure if it's a whisper or the wind. I glance around, but see little more than a beautiful autumn day.

The mare on my lap stirs, blinking a few times as she wriggles up between me and my coffee-holding arms, putting her freckled head on my chest. I lean down, planting a quiet kiss against her forehead.

Didn't hear anything else from the wind after that.





Slowly, I blink awake. I'm not sure what time it is, but it's definitely still early morning; considering Derpy is snuggled up against me still, back to my stomach, making the odd snore, and the pinkish light of early day filtering in through the window.

I hear a tiny giggle. Lifting my head ever so slightly, I stare across the oversized bed. Dinky still has a good grasp on my hand, but the Filly has probably been up for a while; two naps tend to ruin ones sleep schedule.

I hold a quiet finger to my lips, making a 'shh' noise. Dinky figures it out well enough, excitedly nodding. She's doing her best to tuck herself underneath my hand, which is pretty damn cute.

My other hand slowly traces along Derpy's side, quietly rubbing it. I can't help but trace the bubbles of her flank with a finger.

I've always wondered how bubbles rank into a personal talent. 

I watch as Derpy's chest rises and falls, with each slow breath that she takes, still in slumber.

I could spend hours like this.

Honestly, watching Derpy is kind of lulling me back to sleep. Dinky is making sure I don't, though.

She's utilized just how big this bed is to work her way all the way around, and is now clambering to lay overtop my head.

That soft filly fur covers my eyes, as Dinky giggles. 

If I had to guess, I'd hazard we spent near half an hour just quietly enjoying the morning, Derpy getting some extra well-needed rest. I kept Dinky entertained, who kept quiet well enough, mostly just playing or tickling her, lifting her into the air, so on.

Eventually, Bubblebutt finally stirs while I've got Dinky held in the air, holding her like an airplane.

That confuses the sleep out of Derpy's eyes, who squints up at her daughter in some slight confusion. Watching her nose, I can see her trail her gaze down from Dinky, along my arms, to my chest, and finally, looking up to me.

I smile.
"Morning, you. How you feeling?"

She blinks slowly.
"...Mm."

Her head thumps quietly against my chest again, as she takes a deep breath. I kiss the top of her head. 
"Bed just too comfy?" I whisper playfully.

I hear a muffled 'mmhm'. Yeah, I figured.

"Well, I want some breakfast. And if I don't get out of here soon... I might just start with the tastiest thing right in front of me." I whisper a playful warning into her ear.

The way her wings shoot straight out, I think she's entirely misinterpreted what I meant.

"...Not in front of Dinky." I hear her mumble, muffled against my chest.

"Saying that kind of stuff, or doing--" I start to tease, before I get cut off.

I can feel her bite at my chest, teeth digging at me softly.

...If I had wings, they'd be out. Jesus christ. Am I into biting? They're flatter herbavore teeth, so they don't exactly poke through the skin.

I think she picked up on it, from the surprised noise I made when she started nibbling me. The gaze up, from underneath her bangs... doesn't matter that her eyes don't quite focus on me. She knows she just figured some forbidden secret to break my composure. That is a very coy, very playful smile that subtly settles on her face, as she slowly stretched up off of me, flank to the air. 

I don't think I won this exchange.

Her wings twitch as they extend, rump in the air, about as close to a cat-stretch as a pony body could get, leaning all the way back.
"Mm-mrh. Dinky, go do your... morning stuff." Derpy says softly, an audible pop coming from her hips.

Dinky blows a raspberry, before mock-saluting, grabbing a pillow, and falling off the bed out of sight.

Wump.

She goes darting back into view, running for the bathroom, the door slamming behind herself as Derpy slowly eases herself off the bed.

Or tries to, anyway. Couldn't just let her leave with the upper hand, could I? 

Derpy makes the cutest noise when I spring forward, scooping her up as she's mid-hop off the bed. I don't have my leg on yet, so I can't be overly ambitious and swing her around the room -- but I can pull her back close to myself, holding her against my chestas we both fall back into the warm sheets.

"Woa--Anon!!" She whinnies against me, throwing a hefty stink-eye in my direction once we've stopped bouncing, settling into the welcoming mattress again.

"You think the 'I love you' stage is far along enough to start getting all kissy?" I whisper in her ear, grinning. It flicks every time I breathe on it.

The glare drops as she blinks several times, processing.
"I-is it--" Derpy can barely get out, before she makes yet another adorably shocked noise, suffering a barrage of affection, spraying and praying kisses across her soft, freckled face fur. 

"A-non! St-ha!" She tries to resist and pull away, slipping into giggles, but eventually relents and sighs as I stop peppering her, leaning against me.

We enjoy a quiet pause, her head nestled underneath mine, my chin rustling her mane. A big, heavy breath, in and out, escapes my favorite little grey-flank as she settles from the most affectionate assault.

"...Yes, I suppose it is." She hums softly, tracing circles on my chest with her hoof, creasing the shirt I slept in. "That means you don't mind if I kiss you while we're out and about, right?"

"I'd be kissing you all the time if we didn't have such a height difference." I whisper right back, closing my eyes, slowly rocking us both back and forth on the comfy mattress. "And if it wouldn't gross out Dinky. Though you are the one with wings."

She huffs into my shirt, taking a playful tone.
"...I do have wings, don't I? You wouldn't happen to be putting it up to me to decide when we kiss, would you?"

"Well, if you don't mind waiting the fifteen minutes it takes me to creak and bend on down to your hoof level, whimpering and whining the whole while..." I tease back, pouting.

"Only if you don't mind me bumping around off of things, including your head." She teases right back, looking up at me again. God, that playful stare from under her bangs -- that was lethal.

"I doubt I'd mind... depending on what part of you is bumping into what part of me, however, might change my reaction." I whisper, nibbling the tip of her ear. She makes the cutest little huff, wings trembling. She's probably doing her best to keep them from sticking out.

"Mister Muss, you wouldn't happen to be making any... improper implications as to certain parts of myself, would you?" She retorts, pushing off to make firmer eye contact (as best she can), leaning over me.

"Oh, not at all. Certainly not the bubble-bearing part of you I like watching when you get ahead of me." I whisper back, my hand sliding to her side, trailing up to her back, finger circling through the fur just above her hips.

She purses her lips, eyelids fluttering at the attention. Her stance falters, her own chest slumping down to rest against mine.
"...You don't mind my weight?" She asks quietly.

Is she self conscious, because she's a Pegasus? Oh my god, that's the cutest thing.

"...Derpy, I fucking love your flank, just as much as I love that adorably freckled face of yours, or those delightfully muscled legs. Sorry-not-sorry if that's a little weird to just say with the loving talk we had lasy night about the pace of our relationship... but half the time, I can't keep my eyes off you." I whisper firmly, pausing my stroking to stare at her face.

It's a little harder to count those freckles, past that soft blush that seeps into her cheeks. She snorts out her nostrils, leans down, and plants a firm, but tender kiss against my lips, leaning into it.

It doesn't last for as long as I hope, as she pulls away a few seconds after, frowning.
"I think you need to brush your teeth." She warns, cracking a little smile. "Stinky."

I smack my lips. Morning breath. Seems I can't escape it in colorful ponyland either.
"...Yeah, fair. Give me something to look at while I do?" I poke her side.

"...This is gonna be a whole thing now, isn't it?" She mumbles, raising an eyebrow.

"Dont want it to be?" I tilt my head, poking her other side.

"Like it already isn't. You aren't exactly slick with where you let your eyes roam, Mister Muss..." She chuffs, pressing her nose to mine. "Just don't make it obvious in front of Dinky."

"Make what obvious?" Dinky squeaks, toothbrush dangling and mouth saturated in foamy toothpaste. Shes stood a few feet from the bathroom, staring at us with big old eyes.

We both flinch, Derpy nearly launching a foot straight upward, like a startled cat. Fuck, Dinky needs to stop doing that. Either we don't pay enough attention, or that kids way too stealthy for her own good. 

"Dinky." Derpy manages, after a few calming gasps. "Mister Muss and I... were just..."

"You guys were all 'Muah Muah' and being all gross." Dinky mimics, leaning on her back two legs, wrapping her front hooves around herself.

"W-we were, uh--" Derpy stutters, glancing to me for support. 

Sorry bubble-butt, but this is gold. I'm just enjoying the show at this point, watching a flustered Derpy try to rationalize and dumb down the situation, to a daughter who is way too smart, and knows exactly what's going on. Dinky was the one who spurred like half of this.

"Oh yeah, we were big smoochin', just proper slobbering all over each other." I grin, as cheeky as a one-cheeked man can be.

"Anon!"  Derpy gasps, slackjawed at my most conniving betrayal.

Dinky sticks her toothpaste-y tongue out.
"Yuck. Cooties. Mommy, make sure you brush your teeth after." Dinky makes an over-exagerated 'Blegh', before promptly trotting back into the bathroom.

I'm snort-laughing, Derpy (lightly) smacking my chest with a hoof, looking (not that) upset with me -- before she can't help but burst into a fit of laughter herself.

She snorts.

We stop and stare at each-other.

Our laughter redoubles.

This fucking family, man.





We eventually managed to make our way downstairs without any further 'incidents'. 

Complimentary breakfast, again. Hey, I'll take it, pony food or not. One day, hopefully, it'll be or not. For now, it's still pony food.

Dinky seems to have found her preference of the breakfast variety -- pancakes. Her plate is stacked high with them, having ignored the hotel chefs standard for how many pancakes foals should take.

Dinky, ever the wise and definitely not boasting eyes too big for her stomach, took far more than recommended. And she was ripping through them, syrup and pancake debris everywhere. Many brave napkins were lost in the most brutal of breakfast battles, collected into a soggy mass-grave pile beside her.

On the more reasonable side of the breakfast table, namely the side I'm on, a more understandable spread of food is sat. Picked out some loaded potatoes -- no bacon bits, but they didn't skimp on the stuffing. Salad is all but mandatory around ponies. You can only avoid the stuff for so long, before you inevitably need to eat some manner of it to stay healthy. Topped it off with a slice of some wobbly chocolate-jello thing.

Derpy's seat at our little table is empty, her lovely grey-flank still picking out food. At first, I was wondering what was taking her so long, but I think she bumped into an old friend at the buffet table. It's a very purple Unicorn... mare, I'm guessing. Light purple fur, deeper purple mane and tail, with a streak of lighter purple through the edge of both. Also purple eyes. Must've been from the Twilight batch, she's just so damn purple. The only thing that isn't is the three diamonds on her butt, kind of like Rarity's.

Judging by the way Derpy's face lit up (and the ensuing quick hug), it's a good old friend, so that's a relief. They're stood off to the side of the breakfast display, both with their half-filled plates set aside, excitedly chatting away. Honestly, I'm just happy she seems happy.

Derpy eventually points us out, waving a hoof in our direction -- the other mare seems to light up in recognition when she sees Dinky, but falters a little when she notices me. 

Honestly, fair. I'm a bit of a flashbang to a comfy breakfast setting.

Dinky isn't paying attention, too busy recreating Normandy Beach with her plate, making a syrup-amphibious assault on her pancake fortress. I lean over, sacrificing another napkin to clean schmutz off of Dinky's cheek.

There's a very obvious, quieter-voiced question about me levied at Derpy. You get used to picking out those subtle, on-the-low motions when they're aimed at you. 

The other mare definitely wasn't expecting Derpy to blush, and start tugging at her mane. It's followed a very surprised look, replacing the cautious one, sent my way by that stranger Derpy seems to know. I think she just told them we're together, if the repeated double-takes and pointed hoof are anything to go by.

I offer a little wave, before my attention is taken by Dinky and her constantly growing mess of syrup and pancake gibs.

By the time I look back up, the pair have taken their plates, Derpy with her teeth, the other mare with a soft-pink glow, making their way over to join us. Derpy seems pretty excited, as does the other mare -- I'm getting the feeling her trepidation isn't actually from my looks, the way she keeps looking at Dinky, then me. Maybe somepony from when she was still with Ponet?

I smile at my favorite bubble-butt as she slides right into the chair beside Dinky, setting her plate down with her teeth. No clue how that doesn't seem to hurt, but Equestrian dentists must make solid cash. Plate settled, Derpy tries to rouse Dinky from her frenzy, pointing to the mare that sits across from us.

"Dinky! Look who it is!" Derpy says warmly, gesturing to the mare. The purple not-twilight gives Dinky a little smile and wave.

"Hey Dinky! Been a while! You've gotten pretty big, huh?" She says just as warmly.

Dinky glances up from her breakfast battleground, squinting. Scanning. The ancient Dinky memory vault is unlocking. I swear I can hear the gears turn, locks cha-gunking in her mind. Maybe if it wasn't during the designated Dinkster demolition, it would have been a little bit warmer of a reunion -- oop, nope, there it is. I narrowly duck down, thankfully my reflexes haven't rusted as Dinky's magically-grasped fork goes flailing, flinging drippy pancake remnants everywhere. She lights up like a Christmas tree, eyes bulging.

"Miss Star!" Dinky manages to squeak through a half filled mouth of half chewed food.

Derpy is quick to try and get on cleanup, reaching for any unsullied napkins she can as 'Miss Star' giggles to herself.

"Glad to see you still love food with the same enthusiasm." Miss Star sighs, before turning to me. I catch that moment where she seems to steel herself. "Gosh, I'm sorry if I was ignoring you. I'm Amethyst Star, Dinky's old foalsitter. Well, up until I had to move..."

"No worries. Anon. Good to meet you. I got you to thank for the little delight she turned out to be?" I snort, rustling Dinky's mane.

I can see the soft concern on Stars face, until Dinky wiggles in contentment under the affection -- only partially hampering her moms attempts to clean up the mess she just made. It softens, looking towards me with surprise.

"So, uh... I hope you don't mind if I pry, but last time we talked, Derpy..." Star trails off, glancing between us.

Derpy, finally accepting Dinky is about as clean as that filly is ever going to get while at this breakfast table, sits back. She purses her lips, nodding slowly.
"It's okay, Star. Things are different. I'm doing... we, are doing better." 

"And what about...?" Star asks softly. I can tell how they're trying to dance around the topic in front of Dinky.

"He... well, he left. Didn't see him for a long time, until we saw him in passing yesterday. He's got a new family." Derpy explains somberly. "Seems like he's happy." 

Star reaches a hoof over the table, Derpy reaching out with her own. 
"But what about you, Derpy? Are you --" 

"Yes." Derpy states suddenly, firmly, looking at me. She smiles softly, drawing Star's gaze to me. "I am. Dinky is, too. You should see how much time they spend together, it's... a big weight off my shoulders." 

Star nods, sighing softly.
"You know I hated moving away when I had to. If I had known it was..."

Derpy pats her hoof reassuringly.
"It's okay, Amethyst. I know. You've always been wonderful to us."

They both share a somber smile, before parting to actually start picking at their plates. 

"So, how did you two meet?" Star asks, taking a few stabs into her salad. "I don't mean to offend, but I haven't seen anything quite like you before... Anon, right?"

I nod, poking at the wobbly jello thing in my plate. Dinky keeps glancing at it. No you don't, food fiend.
"No worries. Anon, Human. One and only, as far as I'm aware."

"We met, uh..." Derpy mumbles, probably trying to find better wording. Sorry bubble-butt, but there's no graceful way to broach this one.

"She fell through my window, and hasn't stopped since." I snort.

I can tell Derpy wants to give me one of her playful, scoldy hoof-smacks, but she can't reach around Dinky. 

Dinky glances at her mom, glances at me, and smacks my shoulder for her. Derpy looks torn between thanking her, and teaching her daughter not to hit. 

Star snickers, shaking her head.
"Through his window?" 

Derpy sighs, relenting what little grace she has left about the topic.
"...Yes, through his window. I messed up my landing while trying to drop off a letter for him, because he's at the top of the hill, and... well, we kept bumping into each other. Got to talking. He... invited me and Dinky out. Hard to say no, when my own daughter keeps going to his house every day after school, talking a storm about him every time she gets home."  She sighs wistfully, throwing me a fairly loving look.

Dinky snorts to herself, jabbing the crippled remnants of her plate.
"I think you talk about him more than me, mom." She retorts, stuffing her face.

Derpy stifles a cough.

I think I feel a little blush coming on, getting all buttered up like this.

The small talk continues for a good few minutes, catching Star up on what's been happening. She seems to be warming up to me... or at least, the idea of me, seeing how happy Derpy is.

Star had to move to Canterlot for family matters, and once she got here, ended up settling after finding a solid job at one of the local schools. 

Well, we're in no rush. We've got time before we need to swing by the castle. I lean on the table, resting my head in my hand, watching Derpy and Star catch up, sharing laughs and jokes I don't quite get. And that's alright. I'll miss as many jokes as it takes to see that smile of hers.
> Chapter 29 - Goodbye, Star
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The PRINCESS for LUNCH?!" Amethyst nearly shouts, jaw agape. Derpy quickly scrambles to cover Stars mouth with her own hooves, nervously glancing around at the curious faces that look over at the commotion. 

They'd wrapped up breakfast moments prior, the group of us now stood in the front of the Hotel, about to part ways. Star had her own plans in the city and had to catch up on them, but wanted to get a goodbye in before she left. 

Off... hoofidly? She'd asked Derpy what her plans were for the day, and a wide-eyed, crossed-eyed grey flank had informed her of the luncheon i was subjecting her to with minimal warning. Apparently, just as much of a shock to Star as it was to Derpy. Maybe I was underplaying the significance a bit?

Star takes a calming breath, slowly pushing Derpy's hooves off her own mouth.
"Sorry, sorry. But the Princess? Seriously?" She teases, a wide smile sat on her face.

Derpy sighs, shaking her head. 
"Yes, the Princess."

"Now, how did you go and pull that off?" Star asks, turning her attention to me, now. 

The only thing I can even offer is a shrug. Not like I planned it.
"Foreign invader, coerced into not attacking your world by lending me some bits for a house. Was having second thoughts about taking everything over recently, but there's this one pretty mare keeping me distracted." I politely 'inform', though my information may be comically falsified, if the smile on my face is anything to go by.

I think Star was actually taking what I was saying seriously, until she looked at Derpy's deadpan face, before she cracks a smile. Right, that's not exactly an original idea around here. Ha.

My arm is wrapped around the midsection of a bloated, nap-verging Dinkerdoodle. The filly is slumped against me like a football, having eaten three too many plates of the syrupy goodness, and her gut matches.

"Well, that sounds fun! Lunch with the Princess, not taking over Equestria. I hope you both enjoy it -- The Lunch, not... you know." Star 'corrects', smiling. "I'd say all three of you, but I don't know if Dinky will be awake by then. She looks about ready to hibernate." Star giggles, stifling it with a hoof before it can evolve to a chuckle. 
"I'd love to chat for longer, but I'm pretty sure I'm already running late."

"It was good seeing you again, Star." Derpy smiles, pulling the mare in close with her hooves, quickly hugging her. Star is quick to return the embrace, sighing softly into Derpy's neck.

"It was good to see you, Derpy. You still live in Ponyville, right? Same house?" She asks, holding Derpy still.

"I do, why?" Derpy asks, slowly pulling from the hug.

"I'll make sure to come visit during the next summer break, okay? We have some serious catching up to do." Star notes confidently, a firm smile sat on her face.
"We may have drifted once, but I'm not letting you or my favorite filly get away again."

"I'd love that, Star -- and I'm sure Dinky would be smitten with the idea to see you again, too." Derpy nods, a solid grin smeared on her own visage, too.

The two stare at each other for a long moment, like neither wants to actually start going about the rest of their day. With Dinky wrangled (partially), I step forward, offering my own hand to Amethyst Star.

"It was good to meet you, Star, and good to meet another fan of El Dinkadore. See you around, yeah?" I offer.

Star doesn't hesitate as long as I was expecting her to, as she flips her attention to me and my outstretched hand. Her own hoof meets it, and she smiles at me.
"Good to meet you too, Anon. Take care of Derpy, yeah? She needs more reasons to smile, and you seem to be doing a pretty good job of that." 

Derpy rolls her eyes, but I see that flush take her cheeks.

"I try, though she has this bad habit of giggling and kicking her hooves, blushing all the while any time I start talking to her. Any ideas why?" I tease, throwing a grin Derpy's way. I've probably over-teased her recently, as she barely reacts, settling on an exaggerated sigh. Flush is still there, though.

"Not sure myself, but that sounds like a net positive to me, so you'd better keep it up." Star returns, smiling.

"Will do, boss lady. Have a good one, Star." I nod.

"Buh BYE, Miss Star." Dinky manages, wriggling in my grasp.

We eventually manage to part after a few more rushed good-byes, Star finally heading down the street to catch up with some other Ponies she had plans with, while Derpy, myself and Dinky head back up the road.

Derpy makes an audible sigh as we make our way through the side-streets, trying to skirt the worst of the busy morning Festival. Since we already had plans for the day, getting sucked into the hustle and bustle might be a little counter-intuitive, so our plan was to stick to the outskirts of it while we vaguely approach the castle, before cutting straight through.

"We probably have time for you to hit that Wonderbolt track again today, if you'd want to." I offer, glancing down to the grey flank that walks to my side. It's kind of funny how acclimated she's become to Dinky and I'm antics -- she doesn't even blink now when she watches me wrangle her daughter like a feral cat. Every time I go to adjust my grip on the little Dinker, she counters and scrambles up or down my arms or torso, either trying to squeeze somewhere comfortable to dangle from, or attain as much height as possible. Part of me wonders if this kid should've been born a Pegasus, or if she's got some latent urge to go upwards thanks to her genes.

"Absolutely not. Still sore." Derpy shakes her head, stretching her wings in response. She's staring into the distance, towards an upcoming junction road. Actually, she seems kind of distant now that we've gone on without Star.

"You doing alright?" I ask softer, leaning. I know lately has been a lot for her, trudging out to Canterlot for her daughter, me tagging along -- seeing her ex, her old friend...

"Hmm?" Her ears flick, blinking out of her trance and glancing up to me. That's a sad smile she gives me. "Yes, sorry, I don't mean to come off as irritated or anything. Just... I've got a lot on the mind." She explains, pausing for a moment before snorting. "...And the soreness is starting to settle. I definitely overdid it. Monday isn't going to be fun." 

"Seeing Star probably brought back a lot of memories, huh?" I offer, slowing my walking pace a touch.

"...Yeah. It was good to see her again. She was wonderful for Dinky, and..." She pauses for a surprisingly long moment, even slowing down some. As I pause to wait for her, she blinks out of it, quickly trotting to catch up.
"Sorry, just thinking about some... things." She relents.

"That's what brains are for. I'm always here to listen if you wanna talk at me, too. I've got some mostly-working ears that are always happy to listen to their favorite lady, be it words or just noises. Well, left one's a little iffy, but it tries." I offer, leaning down to brush her wing with a finger. She watches it, trailing her gaze up to me, smiling softly.

"What about me?!" Dinky huffs loudly, drawing both our attention; the football shaped filly is currently hanging upside-down from my arm, making a face.

"You're my favorite... creature. Goblin? No - Gremlin, let's say." I grin. poking at the filly. Dinky makes a weird little 'Chee-hee-hee' noise, curling her lip to expose her teeth and flailing her little hooves around, in her best rendition of what she probably thinks either is. 

"Believe me, Anon, I know I can talk to you about anything. It's... nothing. In an okay way." She purses her lips, looking up at me.

I wait a good, long moment as we slowly traverse the side-streets for her to continue, but she doesn't. She just keeps staring at me, looking up at my face. Her nose twitches, and it takes some surprisingly serious resilience not to lean down and poke it. 
"Alright, but still. Vague noises, sitting in silence at me, I'll listen to whatever sound you gotta say, bu--eautiful."

"...You weren't about to say Bubble-Butt again, were you, Mister Muss?" She warns, throwing me a glare. God, the way she has to look up at me through her mane is probably why I never learn.

I look away, grinning playfully, expecting a wing-slap. Instead, I get a warm body pressing against my leg, sighing heavily.

"I know, Nonny. And that goes for you too, okay?" She says, surprisingly sweetly.

"Aw, thanks Derpy. If I get bubbles on my butt, I'll let you know." I snort playfully.

There's the wing-smack, right to the leg. Deserved that one.

"I'm being serious, Anon." She chastises, still glaring at me. I'm still loving that through-the-mane frown.

"I know Derpy, I know -- that's why I joke. I'm doing good; being with you makes it pretty hard not to be." I quickly amend, grinning.

"...Alright, good. Now I can go back to being stressed out about meeting the Princess." She huffs dramatically.

"Hey, maybe we'll even get to see both." I ruminate aloud, tapping my chin.

"Bot--Oh, that is not helping." Derpy groans.





Lunch was looming, and skirting the festival was paying off thus far. We were window-shopping some of the quieter streets, looking at storefronts and shops that were trying to persevere through the lull in activity. And of course, we'd been talking about the Princesses for most of the entire time, too. Apparently getting to rapid-fire questions and get answers was helping Derpy's nerves, at least a little.

Dinky couldn't care less, now idly trotting on my other side. She wanted to poke around herself, darting to a window, peering in with wide eyes, and then running back to us. Like a little moon on a wide orbit, she squeezes between us and circles us repeatedly before launching out to another shop. 

"Still, you're on a nickname basis. That's not nothing, Anon." Derpy says. She's been grilling me about just how personally I know the Princesses, so she knows what she's walking into. She's a bit of a worry-wart, but was a little more worried about bothering me with questions. The moment it was clear I'd weather a bajillion of them, they just kept coming. 

"Sure, but that's more because she's accepting of nicknames, not that she offers her own, you know? I called her Sunbutt once --"

"You what." 

"-- and she never corrected me. In fact, she started nicknaming me back, so I've just been rolling with it." I explain, chuckling and reminiscing about one of our earlier letters. Her return nicknames were tame at first, but the Princess of the Sun had some... let's say creative approaches to some of her latest ones. Could probably use them as slurs if I ever got back to Earth. Sometimes I forget she's a big-ass (ha) sun god princess deity. Hard to remember, when she's slipping in gossip about her sister or her student with our usual catch-up letters, but I get reminders. Like when I look at the sun raising in the morning, and remember that here, it's a pony doing that.

Derpy blinks several times, processing, apparently.
"So... this lunch, with the Princess, potentially both, should be casual? Somehow, despite you being an Ambassador for your species?"

"Yep. Any title I hold is entirely symbolic, just so I can live in Equestria easier, so don't worry about that. Technically, without them, I don't have any rights and could even be property." I joke -- though I'm definitely not getting into my species history on that topic. And it is probably true, though I don't see any ponies trying to own other sapient... actually, no, Applejacks farm has cows, and ponies still like pets. I could see it. 

"Wait, seriously?" Derpy looks at me, concerned. "That can't be right."

"Crazy, huh? My species doesn't exist here, so no rights for me. If you ever see me up at the Canterlot pet shop, promise to buy me?" I grin playfully.

"Anon, that is not happening. I -- " Derpy goes to refute, but I cut in, feigning offense.

"What, you wouldn't buy me? And here I thought we had something." I pout, helping myself to an exaggerated, wobbly lip.

"No! -- Yes? Wait, well, we do, but I --" Derpy starts to stammer, trying to navigate my minefield of words. Relief from my teasing comes in the form of me nudging her side, chuckling.

"Kidding, Derpy. Celestia's already putting in legislation for a Generalist Species... Protection Act? Yeah, that's what it was." I recall, waggling a finger. "One, in case anything else gets dropped here, and two, for other non-Equestrian species so they aren't abused."

She exhales loudly, shaking her head.
"You... a pet shop. Every day I'm more curious about this world of yours that gives you this imagination of yours."

"...So." I state aloud, looking forward. 

"Hm?" Derpy hums.

"Would you buy me?" I goad, with sad puppy eyes. "Saw me in one of those little windows, like these? No laws to protect little ol' me?"

"Bucking obviously, Anon. Nopony else is getting their hooves on you but me." Derpy retorts frimly, throwing me a glare. Her eyes widen as she starts to realize what she just so blatantly stated in public. Thankfully, the streets are still pretty quite with the Festival ongoing on the main avenue, saving her some embarrassment, and Dinky is a few storefronts ahead of us, out of earshot. Probably. Me, though?

"Ooh." I purse my lips, eyebrow raising. "Possessive."

"...Too much?" She asks softly, reeling it back, wincing.

"Nah, I've got issues. Keep that energy, I'm into that." I wink. 

She scoffs, shaking her head.
"You have some... particular interests you're trying to allude to right now?"

She makes a hefty 'You serious?' face as I consider the prospect, stroking my chin and humming.

"Of the pet-caliber, not really. That little possessive streak though? Shit, I'm still thinking about this morning." I muse.

"The biting?" She prompts. "You really liked when I did that? Actually?"

I can only shrug, smiling. "Can't say I won't be thinking about it for the rest of the day."

That smile falls pretty quickly as I watch Derpy check on Dinky and her own surroundings -- the moment she's sure the filly isn't looking, nor any other passing ponies, I feel the push of air from flapping wings. Her hooves are quick to wrap my shoulders, as grey fur and blonde mane takes up most of my vision, and soft, plush lips meet my own. Instinctively, my hands reach out to support her legs and flank, though her wings keep her steady.

And then teeth meet my bottom lip, nibbled playfully. Pulled, bitten. A throaty huff escapes the pegasus clinging to me, and before I can react, another whoosh of air -- she's already hooves to street, trotting ahead. The smile she throws back my way, tail swishing -- saucy, knowing, peering out from under her own mane... it exudes Confident. Well, that's one way to boost her mood before meeting the Princess.

For myself, though? Whoof. I think I need a minute, pausing to lean on one of the storefront walls. That mare did things to me, and she was starting to figure out just what. Looks like I'm weak to ladies who knows what they're about.

I can hear Dinky shouting for me further up ahead -- I give a half-hearted wave, urging my beating heart to still, jogging awkwardly to catch up to them.
> Chapter 30 - Dunch, it's Derpy and Lunch
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gates leading up to Canterlot Castle. Bit of a squeeze to get in front of, since they were off the main road -- which meant weathering a hefty chunk of the busy Festival. Now that we were trying to actually get somewhere, namely said castle, traversing through the fairgrounds wasn't as whimsical as it was yesterday. Moving with the flow of activity and interest, curious to see the stalls and what they behold? Fun, exciting even. 

Trying to cut from a side-street to the main Castle gateway, directly across? More like trying to cross an active six-lane, American-tier highway, if the cars were waist high and loudly griped about being stepped over instead of honking.

Derpy could fly over well enough, with the other Pegasi leaving sizable gaps in their multicolored flight groups and flapping about at various heights. She got over well before Dinky and I did.

Of course, I'm not going to make a filly fight through that kind of raw crowdage, and we had a pretty good system already in place. Dinky on the shoulders. Nestled comfortably in her usual place of heightness, we abuse my spangly legs to step over and around the lanes of furred traffic.

We get a few passing complaints, as being walked over is a pretty jarring experience for most ponies; probably tickles something about their latent fight or flight response, if the way they react is anything to go by. But, Dinky's cheeky grin and waving hooves tends to disarm the worst of the sudden offendees. Seeing her dangling off the top off me with that trademark cheeky smile throws them completely off guard, buying me time to keep skedaddling.

We are undeterred, however -- a most fair maiden awaits us, as we manage to carve our way forward like a viking tall-ship on furred waters, reaching the blonde beauty on opposite shores.

"Your daughter, Miss -- thirty minutes, or she's free." I announce, plucking the wriggle filly from her shoulder-bound throne.

Derpy giggles, reaching out with her wings to relieve said delivery. She smushes and squeezes Dinky's face, inspecting her.
"Hmm. Could have sworn I asked for Filly-roni..." She mumbles, smiling.

Dinky puffs up, claiming a bold heritage to pineapple-based Pizza's. Through dramatic and watery eyes, Derpy proclaims she'll love her daughter, no matter how terrible her tastes -- before the two break into a mutual case of the giggles.

I love this mare.

Where were we? Right, the gates.

Solid, impressive stonework giving way to sturdy metal gates, posted by armed, golden guards. Accents of gold with splashes of smoothed marble, all boasting the height and ancient nobility of the pair that rule from within its bounds. It'd be an intimidating sight, if I didn't have mental dream-luncheons with the owners on occasion, nor an actual in-person scheduled with them now.

A winding road that leads to the overhanging castles far above and distant, presiding over the lowered streets of the city. I'd come here on occasion with Twilight, but since we got to writing, I hadn't needed to physically visit as much. Once I was settled, not much reason for me to. Though, I hadn't exactly lived quietly since then. Still need to pay off that loan, but with the job from Rarity, it doesn't seem as big of a hurdle as before. It'll just take some time, which gives me something to work towards.

A cleared throat pulls me from my distracted gazing at the regal architecture... like a mixture of royalty and religion. Kind of fitting, considering Tia was some sort of a God-King. Right, distracted.

Derpy and Dinky are looking to me for how to proceed with this, since I'm the one with royalty-visitong experience. The closest guard stationed at the gate is watching us from under his shiny helmet. Theyve got another one on the other side of the gate, and a third sitting in an adjacent guard tower. I'd comment about how light the security seems, but with them managing the festival, and the ponies they're protecting being living super-reactors of magic, I guess the guards are more for the citizens than the Princesses.

Well, Derpy is watching me, hoping I'll take the lead -- Dinky is eyeballing the guards spear. It's a little reassuring, knowing I've got some wiggle room when it comes to messing this kid up by accident, since she came pre-installed with some weird interests. Mostly sharp interests. Hopefully. If that kids cutie-mark is a cross hair, I'm done for.

Patting my pockets, I scrunch my face trying to remember... there it is. Bundled up Royale invite, left inside jacket pocket.
"Hey. Here." I pass it off.

The guard unfurls it in his hooves once I pass it over, and I watch as his eyes flicker across the parchment. He looks like he's about to say something, but catches the last part of the letter, casting a gaze towards Derpy and Dinky. His lips purse, before rolling it up again.

"Ambassador Muss, and two Guests. Follow me. Princess Celestia is expecting you." He notes firmly, clacking the metal horse-armor-shoes he's wearing, spinning in place.
"ENTRY!" He shouts, as the guard on the other side of the gate snaps to attention. The hefty, metal gateway is slowly pushed aside, granting us entry as we're waved through. The inner guard quickly becomes our escort, leading our intrepid little trio past the bulwark of the castle, and onto the winding bricked road that slowly winds upwards.

Derpy is glued to my side, wide-eyed and watching with a nervous curiosity. Dinky is trying her best to imitate the marching of our escort, face twisted all stern, despite Derpy's best efforts to keep her daughter from wandering off.




I've been here a couple times with Twilight, mostly for quick chats or visits where I ended up waiting around while whatever issue or question that the Designated Purple needed handled.

This time though, standing center stage in front of the Thrones, and actually being the point of interest was pretty intimidating.

While the throne of Moons was empty, Celestia's Sun-Styled seat of royalty was currently sitting herself, in all of her glory. Wisping ethereal mane reminiscent of the northern lights, stark-white fur with the softest hint of pink. Her golden jewelry glinting in the midday light, head held high.

Our escort bows -- as does Derpy, who nudges Dinky with a wing to do the same. The filly seems smitten, staring with wide eyes. It takes a few nudges to get her to do an awkward half-lean, unable to take her eyes off the Princess. I know what's coming, but I still feel obligated to as well -- she's got some serious fucking aura.

A faint smile creeps across Celestia's lips as our escort announces our arrival, waving in our direction and taking a step aside.

"Thank you. That will be all." Celestia says softly -- despite that, her tone carries like a wave across the room, as if she said it right in front of me, barely a foot away -- and not across the room, nearly a story above us an a platform.

The escort recedes, as do the pair of guards posted by the door, marching back out of the throne room.

The moment the way into the throne room shuts with a loud clatter, it's like the mood entirely shifts.

Her benevolent, borderline matriarchal smile cracks into a wide, excited grin, hooves kneading the seat of her chair as a twinkle takes her eye. In a moment, she's encapsulated in a golden glow, and she disappears in a burst of swirling magic embers, leaving the throne empty.

Before she appears directly in front of us, the warm swirl of her magic dissipating and cascading around us.

"Nonny!" She grins, wrapping her feathery wings around all three of us and dragging us into her absurdly wide plumage, in an Alicorn-sized embrace.
"To think you'd come by Canterlot without stopping to say hello? -- I'm wounded!" She pouts, sticking out her tongue.

There she is. The Tia behind the scenes -- it's easier to see that side of her when she's not pulling regal status for the public.

"Sorry, but it's not my trip, I'm just a tagalong." I manage to squeeze out. She stares at me for a long moment, mulling over the excuse before a playful huff escapes the Princess.

She let's us go, wings furling as a wide smile stays settled on her face. Dinky is staring with damn near sparkling eyes, while poor Derpy just looks frazzled, stood still.

"So I can see! It's good to see you again, and just as good to finally meet your Marefriend. I knew somepony would tickle your fancy, eventually." She says, the excitement palpable in her tone. It's also much less omnipresent, and far more... normal.

"More like took my fancy in a choke-hold, but yeah, this is her." I smile, letting a hand rest on Derpy's shoulder.

Derpy blinks in surprise as Celestia is suddenly in her face, smiling widely.
"Derpy Hooves, I presume? Delightful to meet you. And this little one must be... hm... Doinky?" She barely stifles a snort, looking to the offended filly. 

"It's Dinky!" Said filly squeaks in protest, eliciting a giggle from the Princess.

"Of course, my sincerest apologies. I hope you can forgive me." Celestia nods in apology.

"Hm... I'll consider it." Dinky hums, face scrunching.

"How truly benevolent of you, Dainty." Celestia barely manages to utter, squeezing down a chuckle.

"Dinky!" Dinky dinks in dinktest.

A proper chortle escapes the Princess as she covers her mouth with a bedazzled hoof, clearly enjoying herself. Dinky blows a raspberry at the Princess, while poor Derpy looks to me for any semblance of grounding.

I only shrug.
"Told you, she's pretty casual." 

Derpy blinks a few times, looking to the Princess.
"Thank you, for your invitation, Princess Celes--"

"Oh, just call me Tia. If you're with Nonny, we're far beyond titles." Celestia cuts in, smiling.

"... Thank you, Princess Tia?" Derpy tries, eliciting another laugh out of the Princess. 

"That works, too. I hope you're all enjoying the Festival?" Tia asks, starting to turn, intending to lead us further into the castle.

"It's very tasty!" Dinky beams, already hot on the Princesses heels.

Derpy looks to me again -- the poor thing just looks frazzled, all her expectations and worries clashing with the sheer opposite, if not being completely disregarded.

"Not what you expected, huh?" I grin. Getting a peek into the real side of Tia? Definitely not what I had expected on my original trip to the capital. "Threw me for a loop the first time, too."

"...She acts like she's your Aunt, Anon." Derpy mumbles, staring after her Daughter, and the Princess of the nation, as they giggle about their favorite type of candied apple but a few meters ahead.

"Yeah. Without her, I doubt I'd have settled into Equestria as well as I did. I owe her a lot." I muse, crossing my arms in a light reminiscing. The aid, the loans -- she was the one who set up my check-ins with Nurse Redheart, too.

"Like, we might not have ended up together without her?" Derpy asks softly. Part of me wants to agree, but the other part wants to believe I'd have ended up with this pretty little thing either way.

"I think that bubbled flank of yours was gonna find its way into my heart sooner or later -- but I think it's safe to say, thanks to her, it leant hard on sooner." I jest, looking to Derpy with a smile -- one that accentuates those exposed teeth that she seems so interested it. She picks up on it pretty quick, scoffing.

"Okay, beanpole -- keep that kind of talk down while we're doing... this whole royalty lunch thing. I'm still processing that you're this close to our Princess, and that my daughter is having a casual conversation about apples with her." Derpy retorts.

"It's candied apples -- wait, beanpole?" I snort incredulously. 

"Like it? I've been stewing on that one for a while." Derpy chuffs proudly. "And I've got a few more up for peer review."

"Lucky me. Sure you're not compensating now because you heard the Princess call me Nonny?"

"N-no. I've been trying to think of a good one for a while."

"Something as good as Bubble-Butt?"

"Something as good as -- Pfft." She snickers. "Anon, you're just saying by Cutie Mark and my... flank. That's not clever. And I asked you --"

"Not to in front of other ponies, I remember." I shrug, leaning to leer at her.

Derpy lifts up off her front hooves, grabbing at my shirt. Still not sure how their hooves do that, but --
"And yet you're still doing it, Anon. Are you trying to make me angry?"

"...Maybe I like the way you get in my face when you are. Makes it easier to kiss you." I tease. That hard shift startles her, and she frowns.

Blonde tail, meet leg in a huffy smack. She tilts her head up, bringing her scrunching nose closer to mine.
"I told you, no flirting in front--" She starts, but freezes.

It's quiet. Too quiet.

We both pause, looking forward.

Dinky and Celestia are sat just up ahead, watching us with mixed reactions -- Dinky making a 'blegh' face, while Celestia grins wickedly.

"EW! Stop being gross and hurry up!" Dinky shouts, the call-out carrying across the empty throne room. Some serious reverb in here.

"Do they always do this?" Tia asks Dinky, giving us both a raised eyebrow.

"All the time." Dinky rolls her eyes, starting to trot along again. "They're all mushy and whispery and ooey-gooey when they think I'm not looking."

Celestia snorts, and gives us both a playful stare. She waits until Dinky has trotted ahead a little bit, before stepping closer towards us, lowering her voice.
"Think you two lovebirds can stay off each-other long enough for lunch? I've got quite the meal prepared -- but I can make accommodations in one of the guest rooms if that's not the case -- I wouldn't mind watching Dinky while you two get into the right... headspace." She teases, grinning deviously before breaking into a laugh, following after the impatient filly.

I don't think I've ever seen Derpy get so flushed, I could swear I see steam coming out of her ears. I'd feel bad, but I was busy trying to play off my own blush, exhaling hard. Flirt backfired.

"She's not serious, is she?" Derpy asks quietly, whispering to me while staring forward.

"...I think she is." I mutter back.

Clearing our throats, we quickly jog to catch up, Celestia throwing us both a knowing smile as we reach them again. 

Tia's eating this up.





The Dining Room is egregiously sized. Like, this table could easily sit two dozen, long-ways. It's also very cozy. Sporting an unused Chimney that's nestled against the center wall, and with a direct hallway access to the kitchens winding outwards from the opposite wall.

Long, long stone table fashioned meticulously, with dozens of fancy  chairs. Before Derpy can object, Dinky takes the head of the table -- only her horn is visible from over it. Some-pony needs a booster seat. Celestia finds this downright adorable, settling in right to Dinky's side, covering a giggle with a wing.

"Dinky, you don't--" Derpy starts to warn, but is waved off by Tia.

"It's alright, Miss Hooves. There's no set seating, here. If anything, I appreciate young Dinky's exuberant confidence. She carries herself well." She relays with a warm smile.

Dinky beams at this, of course, showing off those pearly whites plenty.

Derpy sighs in relief, settling into the chair opposite of Tia, to Dinky's other side. I take the chair beside Derpy, leaning on the table.

"I just try to make sure she remembers her manners." Derpy notes, looking to her cheeky daughter. Dinky grins, reaching a hoof out to her mom, who reaches one back in turn.

"Manners are important, but I can see how well young Dinky carries herself. You teach her well, if you'd allow me to say. She reminds me of one of my students, when she was young." Celestia says warmly, watching the pair.

I can see the almost wistful look in Tia's eyes.

"O-Oh! Thank you, Princess." Derpy nods, idly rubbing a hoof with the other. Don't think she had 'Compliments from the Princess' on her days agenda.

"Princess Tia." I whisper to Derpy, getting a worried glance. It's disarmed by Tia chuckling softly, and my own grin, as Derpy huffs.

"Miss Hooves may use whatever she is most comfortable with in reference to myself. I can understand that meeting royalty under such a premise can be... disarming, to say the least." Celestia surmizes, looking to Dinky as she raises a hoof.

"Can I be a Princess?" Dinky asks boldly. Poor Derpy looks like she nearly does a spit-take.

Celestia, of course, is nothing but bemused smiles.
"Perhaps. Nothing is truly off the table, and only the future knows what it holds. What would you be the Princess of, young Dinky?"

"...Teelee-Kee-Sneesis." Dinky slowly words out, grinning widely after.

Tia tilts her head, smiling through confusion.
"Princess of... Telekinesis?"

Dinky shakes hers, refuting it.
"Teelee-Kee-Sneesis." 

"She... quite enjoys magic." Derpy tries to clarify, as Celestia looks over to us. "Even if the terms are a little... beyond her, at the moment." 

"I dunno, I think she's got it locked down. I think Tia's got it wrong." I retort, giving Tia a tsk-tsk. 

Celestia hums, tapping a hoof to her chin.
"Perhaps I do. Or perhaps, this 'Teelee-Kee-Sneesis' is a variant school of Telekinesis? This sounds like a worthy case study. Perhaps I'll have Twilight investigate, and interview young Dinky here on her findings."

Dinky grins at her mom, who just looks to me for... I don't think she even knows. Things went so left-field of her expectations, she's just been left frazzled.

"Sounds like she's got a hoof ahead on that schooling, huh?" I offer, trying to help ground Derpy.

"Oh?" Celestia hums, curious.

Her curiosity is stifled for the moment, however -- as the doors leading to the kitchen swing open.

Staff ponies slowly begin to filter in and out of the room, putting an accidental pause in our conversation. I don't think Tia was intentionally trying to wow us, but... they're rolling out one hell of a luncheon. Then again, I know how much these living reactors that call themselves 'Alicorns' eat. As if it isn't already blatantly made obvious by how half the plates are ending up in front of the Princess, specifically.

There's roughly half a dozen staff ponies, all dressed proper with heads held high, wheeling platters to be spread in front of us.

Talk about a variety spread. I didn't even know you could make that many versions of salads. Some kind of horse-friendly cherry-tomato hay-based pasta. A three-tier platter presenting a variety of numerous cake slices, each a different type. And it just keeps going.

That is, until I notice a few particular plates getting set in front of me, while a knowing smile sits on Tia's face. I didn't even realize it at first, but the staff member handling my particular dishes is a Griffon. Deviled eggs, seared fish,  -- while it's certainly no hunk of steak, I recognize the hurdles she likely had to go through to get animal products handled on such short notice. I knew the Apples kept cows, but milk was one thing. Eggs? That's some serious pull.

So far, I'm enjoying Canterlot. A glance to Derpy shows she's looking a little whelmed at the large amount of plates, but I softly nudge her side to try to reel her back in.

The plating is starting to slow, as a final staff member comes out with a tray of drinks. Three glasses of something that's definitely been sitting in a barrel for a while -- and a juice box.

Dinky frowns at the staff member when she's not handed a glass, but the juice box, slurping it loudly in retaliation.

"Thank you." Tia nods, the last Staff-Pony bowing before promptly exiting. The doors to the kitchen slam shut, leaving us four alone again. Only now, with a good portion of the table absolutely covered in a variety of plates, each seemingly tailored to our own preferences.

Once the doors shut, Tia smiles widely, looking to each of us.
"I do hope that it's to your liking." 

Derpy is staring wide-eyed at her own food. She blinks several times, before looking to the Princess.
"These are... Cloudsdale recipes?" 

I thought her plates looked a little fluffier than ours. Now I realize it's literally. Several of her plates are decorated on little puffs of clouds.

"There's hardly an emigrated Pegasus alive that doesn't miss Cloudsdale to some degree -- I thought you might enjoy the reminder, at least in the form of its cuisine." Tia explains. 

"I... don't know what to say, Princess. This is very..." Derpy trails off.

"You needn't say anything, Miss Hooves. I simply hope that you enjoy -- as do the two of you." Tia gestures to Dinky and Myself.

Dinky, obviously, already has half a brownie lodged down her throat. She makes an ungodly noise of acknowledgement, something akin to a primordial gurgle, before getting back to it. The top of it looks like it's sprinkled with... pop rocks? It sounds like it, the way they fizzle upon entry into the maw of the hungry filly.

I'm not quite so ambitious, taking a slow start on one of the eggs. Mm -- that's not a taste I expected to get anytime soon. Like a little sprinkle of old-home.

I'd just say home, but... a glance to the certain some-pony sat beside me thinking in right where I belong. Speaking of, Derpy is completely distracted by the array of food in front of her.

Derpy is poking at one of her plates, watching the little puff of cloud it was served on wobble, almost like jello. From what I remember, the last time she was at Cloudsdale was when she was a filly. Most of it looks like it was gathered off the side of a mountain, with some flair thrown in.

"Curious about the cuisine, Nonny?" Tia asks, picking up on my wandering gaze. Her plates are loaded with a mix if high-carb and sugar, like she needs constant energy.

"I'm just surprised how... specialized, this all looks." I nod.

"Well, for young Dinky here, Unicorns have a tendency to enjoy fizzy things, and sweets. Using magic takes energy, so they hold a natural interest in sugary short-term bursts, not unlike myself and my sister." Celestia explains, smiling at Dinky.

Well, that makes sense as to why she's such a fiend for treats, even moreso than normal ponies. That kid puts food away. Come to think of it, Twilight ate some pretty big portions too, and usually had a snack on hand. If she remembered. Self care isn't one of her strong suits.

"Explains a few things." I chuckle, glancing to Derpy's plate. Compared to some of the others, it looks very... simple.

"Why does Cloudsdale style food look like it was plucked off a bush off a mountain, and put on a fluffy cloud plate?" I ask, hoping not to offend.

"Oh, because it was." Derpy suddenly comments, glancing up to me. Tia hums, nodding in agreement.

"Really?" I prod, confused.

"Cloudsdale is very... traditionalist, and most Pegasi are very proud. So, while the Earth-Ponies have been the food suppliers for the tribes, Pegasi cuisine before the Three Tribes Unification was primarily scavenged fruits and vegetables from nearby mountains and forests -- whatever they could get without touching the ground." Derpy explains, turning to me. I'm a little surprised by just how invested she is in it.

"It's a small but beloved practice that perpetuates even today; and is perfect for anypony that misses that little taste of cloudy home. Cuisine made entirely by Pegasi efforts." Tia informs, before taking a bite of one of her numerous cake slices.

"This is... incredibly sweet of you, Princess. Thank you." Derpy says, smiling. Looks like nervous wall finally broke.

"Of course, Miss Hooves." Tia returns just as sweetly.

"Do other pony... types, feel the same way?" I ask, my curiosity still unfettered.

"The tribes? As far as I'm aware, only Pegasi feel so strongly towards Cloudsdale, as it's their only true home. Their history books speak of it as the first, and the magic that exudes from it is the strongest for their 'type'. As in, to fly in the skies around Cloudsdale is incomparable. Perfect wind drafts -- excuse you, Dinky -- and an energy so brimming, there's a local phenomenon among Pegasi who haven't flown in a while." Celestia explains in further depth, waving a fork around. She only has to pause once for another ungodly noise escaping the filly. I think this festival made her even more food orientated. I'm reminded of those food-focused dogs back on earth.

"Twitchy-Wings?" Derpy perks up.

"That's the one." Tia nods.

"Used to get that all the time as a filly. It's why my father got me into the Wonder-Cadets, said he couldn't keep my hooves on the clouds for more than five seconds." She giggles, sighing.

"Here for the Wonderbolt track, then?" Tia asks.

"Oh, no, no. Here for Dinky." Derpy shakes her head. She casts me a warning side-eye. Unfortunately, it's ignored.

"She says, like she didn't rip around the clouds for an hour straight." I tease, fondly remembering that sloppy, excited kiss she gave me when she got back.

Pretty sure she remembers it too, the way Derpy looks like she's about to smack my shoulder with a wing, but pauses, remembering she's in the presence of a Princess. Unfortunately for me, not a Princess intent on stopping such a flagrant assault on my person.

"Go ahead, he has it coming." Tia grins, goading Derpy. "Or shall I?" She offers, extending her own wing. With her wingspan, she could probably reach me across the table. Would probably actually fold me, too. Gulp.

Derpy tsks playfully, giving me a side-eye.
"...No, I'll let it slide this time." 

"How noble of you, Miss Hooves."

The two stare for a moment, before breaking out into a giggle. I... think, Dinky gives me a weird look? Or she's looking for help. That's an entire unchewed brownie just... sinking into her open maw. It's kind of unnerving.



 

We spent some time focused on eating the incredible spread that had been laid before us, conversation slowly making way for eating. The odd question pervaded now and then, but now mostly empty plates were all that peppered the table. Tia, of course, is still idly snacking on a cake slice. She tends to eat them slowly, with a small fork, as if that counteracts the sheer volume of cake she slowly processes over the course of an hour.

I don't think I could manage another bite. I might even need to undo my belt. Slumped back in my seat, I'm feeling deeply content. This Canterlot trip has done wonders for my cravings. I might survive the next few months yet.

Alright, I'm being dramatic, but still. 

A side-glance to check on my favorite mare affirms Derpy is in a similar position. She looks good. Like, not just her usual good -- because damn if that mare don't always look good -- but she doesn't look nearly as frazzled. She seems far more comfortable now, having found some common ground with the Princess. 

Dinky looks ready to slip into another food coma, brownie smeared on her face, eyes glazed and distant, mouth agape. Standard fare at this point.

"Mm - I believe we got sidetracked." Celestia notes, dapping her mouth with a napkin. The only one of us who looks entirely unaffected by the sheer mass of food -- and is still eating, in the dessert phase now.

Both Derpy and I glance up, curious. Dinky, not so much. She's doing all she can to just stay... I want to say awake, but it almost feels more correct to say alive.

"I'd been meaning to ask, what brings you three to Canterlot? You said for Dinky -- The Career portion of the Festival, I assume?" Tia asks, smiling.

"Yes -- looking into future prospects for Dinky. Opportunities, when she's finished school." Derpy nods. 

"A wonderful time and place to do so. Has the University caught your attention yet? I hear they're hosting an event this evening, including Scholarship tryouts." Tia offers with a hoof-wave.

"Scholarship tryouts?" I ask, curious. "I'm familiar with the terms separately, but I'm not quite seeing it."

"As I'm sure you're aware by now, Anon, Unicorns heavily value magic. Not just raw output, but specializations and skills." Tia explains.

"I'd imagine as much as Pegasi value flying." Derpy adds, to which Celestia nods.

"While proper academic application can certainly get you into a good school, impressive showcases of magic can equally do the same, and that's typically what most schools aim for during these events."

"So it'd be like a showcase of your talents, and if you're promising enough, you get a scholarship?"

"Correct. They have premade tests, if your skills align more traditionally, but are willing to entertain private hearings for more unique lines of magical application. Even if one is too young, they can have an offer placed in goodwill that can be taken upon when they reach the proper age. Are Scholarships not as common where you are from?" Celestia asks, tilting her head at me.

Well, I guess a ponies potential was a lot more blatant with their butt-marks and direct magic. The idea of getting a sport scholarship just by... actually, no, that tracks.

"Sure they are. I think we tend to take things a little slower, compared to you ponies, but it sounds about the same. Join a team, practice, train, and if you show good promise, they might pick you up." I shrug.

"I see. Not too dissimilar, then. Unicorns simply... gather that sooner. Despite their propensity for research and study, they're not the most patient group." Celestia hums, sipping at her tea.

I swear I hear Derpy mutter 'Tell me about it'. I snort.

"Are you involved with the event at all, Princess?" Derpy asks, catching Tia's attention.

"The University? I'm not, I'm afraid. I run my own private school, The School For Gifted Unicorns. Representing another academic avenue wouldn't be the greatest maneuver for one of my standing, I'm afraid, but the Nobles of Canterlot can be... picky. There are a few different institutions in Canterlot and it's surrounding regions that tend to occupy the same topic, because they want things done their way."

"Oh, I didn't know you taught!" Derpy says, surprised.

"Where Twilight got her schooling, right?" I ask, the name clicking a memory.

"Correct to both. While I'm not a faculty member, I do privately mentor a few individual students who show an immense aptitude, like young Sparkle. I suppose after a few hundred years, I've picked up enough to be seen as wise, though I doubt my late Mentor would agree." She chuckles softly, helping herself to another bite of her dwindling dessert.

"Well, I'm hoping Dinky at least gets a good look into it. Anon told me they took quite an interest in her, and recommended we attend. I don't want to force her into anything, of course, but... I'd love if she had the opportunity." Derpy explains, getting a curious tilt from Tia.

"Were you not at their booth yourself?" She asks, Derpy glancing away.

"Oh, she would have been, but remember, she was busy carving up the Wonderbolt track." I tease, nudging Derpy with an elbow.

"Anon!" Derpy hisses, her wing starting to wind up, smack inbound.

"Oh, you were serious before? Was that you competing with Rainbow Dash, Miss Hooves?" Tia asks, smiling widely.

"Y-you saw that?" Derpy stammers, hooves floating up to nervously stroke her mane, wing quickly folding back in.

"From my tower, actually. Were you ever a Wonder-Cadet, Miss Hooves?" Celestia asks playfully.

"I-I was, yes..."

"Hm. And what do you do now?" 

"I'm a Mailmare, in Ponyville. Have been for years."

"Post-Master, then? An admirable if unexpected --" Celestia starts, raising her head high.

"No, just... Mail-Mare." Derpy corrects. There's a soft, somber tinge despite the weak smile.

I don't think Derpy notices, but I see the smile on Celestia's face falters, before her grin renews.

"There is no 'just', Miss Hooves. It's no less a vital role in the function of any town." Celestia follows, not missing a beat. "Especially the town that hosts my student, Twilight. I thank you for your dedicated service." Years of handling Dignitaries and Ambassadors have probably made her one tough nut to crack, and she steers the alteration with practiced social grace.

"Thank you, Princess. It's alright. I enjoy it, and gives me plenty of flight time, when I'm not stuck inside organizing the post or working desk. Not that I mind that work either, but, uh..." Derpy gets quiet, tapping her hooves together. 

"It's always good to take pride in ones work." Celestia affirms softly.

"Right." Derpy sighs, staring at the table. Quietly, a place a hand on her leg in quiet support.
"Thank you, for all of this, Princess. It was wonderful to meet you, but I think we should get going. I want to make sure we've got plenty of time to prepare for the University's event."

"Of course; I thank you both for joining me, despite my... lackluster warning. I do hope the meal made up for the short notice." Celestia smiles, rising from the chair. 

They devolve into a back and forth of thank-you's and of-courses, both trying to remain as polite as possible, meeting up around the side of the table. In the meantime, I slowly kilter back up to my legs, using the chair as support, checking on Dinky.

Food coma. She looks like a murder victim, slumped over the arm of the chair. I scoop the overfilled brownie-loaded filly, tucking her under my arm like a limp bagpipe.

"Oh -- Might I borrow Anon for a moment, before you go? I wish to discuss something in regards to his letter." Celestia asks, looking to me. 

"Of course! Should I take Dinky? I can just wait here, or --" 

"I've got Dinky, Derpy. She is out cold, and I've already got her. Should just be a second, yeah?" I look to Tia for affirmation, who nods to confirm.

Derpy nods, moving to stand by the entrance to the dining room, while Celestia and I speak by the table. Nothing terribly secretive since Tia doesn't seem to need Derpy to leave the room, but the fun smile that had been sat on her face for most of the afternoon has faded. 

I lean close to Celestia as she starts to whisper into my ear, our backs turned to Derpy.
"Mail-mare? A Mare of her talents?"

"Yeah, with her... condition, you know. Strabismus." 

"In your opinion, Anon, is she good at what she does? I have a hard time believing..." Celestia starts, but I cut her off.

"I'd argue the best Mail-Mare in the town, and I'd stake my other three limbs on it. I think she holds a few records, despite her occasional clumsiness, even. She's an incredible flier, an equally incredible mother, and knows where to take letters by knowing every single pony in town. Derpy is nothing short of amazing." I explain, making no effort to hide my admiration for her. Something Celestia picks up on, her head tilting back in soft surprise.

"...Hmm. I see." She mumbles after a long pause. "Thank you, Nonny. Keep in touch, will you? I have something to... look into, and getting your letters always turns a drab day at Court into an amusing one." 

"Yeah, of course Tia. Why are you interested, though? Something the matter?" I chuckle, though it's a short one punctuated with soft concern.

"Just... curious about something. I'll tell it to you later, in a letter; that should inspire you to remember to write." She grins, getting a snort out of me. "Thank you for stopping by, Anon. Enjoy the festival, and best of luck to young Dinky... oh, goodness. I didn't know fillies could get so... rotund."

"She's as special as her mom. Just in... a few different ways. Oh -- Tia, before I go, I've got a quick question."

"Hmm? Of course, Nonny." 

"I noticed you refer to Ponies differently, and it's probably just because you know them, but... why do you say Young Sparkle, but call Derpy Miss Hooves? Aren't they around the same age?" I ask. Not a burning or crazy question, but something I noticed during the dinner, talking about Tia's own school.

"...Out of respect. Not for age, but for something they've done." Tia answers softly, after a pause. "Because despite the difference in our years, our stations, she's something that I'll never be."

"A Mail-Mare? Mortal? Grey?" I guess, grinning. The smile quickly falls from my face, when I see the somber, distant look on Tia's.

"A Mother." She says simply.