Monologue
"Stop me if you've heard this before. A character, Charly, has died, causing a great commotion in the census. A deity or something similar grants him another chance that he didn't seize to make friends. However, the deceased heartthrob Charly doesn't want this, so he does the most logical thing in this situation.
Twilight Sparkle was always a loyal student from a young age, never disappointing her teacher or doing anything to upset her. That includes never mentioning the old love letters she found in the princess's trunk. But putting aside her intelligence and self-control, she now rushes home to warn about the arrival of NIGHTMARE MOON (curiously, her name doesn't appear in the census).
Meanwhile, Charly gently awakens and softly asks upon seeing his claws, 'Wow, have I transformed into another creature?' This happened in his mind; he was reasonably paralyzed. His once beautiful calloused and sore hands from working as a virtual reality mason had wasted away, now replaced by sharp but somewhat chubby claws. His sculpted face with acne marks was a bland reptilian face with snake eyes.
After the initial shock, Charly did the most sensible thing: to see his new member. 'Upon concentrating and seeing it grow,' Charly exclaimed, 'DAMN, I have two penises!' That makes up for everything. And now, Charly, with a smile, embraced his new life
"The joy of the moment was short-lived, disrupted by the homeowner, the landowner, and her brooms. Twilight entered, calling for Spike, who decided to hide behind the door from the intruder.
"Spike!" Twilight shrieked upon seeing her paralyzed servant, possibly caught being lazy. Spike merely sought to obey Twilight's orders, realizing that the smallest bed was his. Automatically, like moving an involuntary muscle, he did everything asked of him – fetching books, even falling off shelves, vomiting mail, and climbing onto a carriage powered by two horses. But any fear or respect he might have had for the self-proclaimed unicorn Twilight vanished after enduring three hours of her crying and complaints.
"Look, Twilight, maybe you should listen to that princess; making friends isn't so bad. Being sent to the edge of the country overnight, now that's bad. And you don't complain about that. You might even make a friend," Spike mentioned with a timid smile, hoping to silence her. Sadly, it only provoked her.
"But Spike, I don't understand why the princess would take such a serious situation lightly; it's not like her." Within seconds of the royal guard pegasi landing, they dashed away from Twilight. Before she could comment on this oddity, she was surprised by a pink pony who gasped at the sight of someone from the city.
"Remember when I said you could be friends with someone?" Spike queried a bewildered Twilight. "Well, everyone except her." And so, Spike faced his first evening in his new reality."
"The first item on the list is to check the food for the festival. Hey, but I don't understand why they send you to do this if you're just a student. Aren't there others qualified for this?" Upon arrival, we were besieged by Applejack and what I think was her partner, Big Mac. I was actually more concerned about the apparent injury Applejack caused to Twilight. Poor thing, should I believe she was a tax collector? Anyone could be mistaken due to her city accent.
"Hey, Twi, have you heard about moderation?" Twilight seemed to just continue with the list automatically, ignoring clear derogatory comments about her weight and diet, as we were having amusing situations with a Pegasus of questionable sexuality. Must have had a conflicted childhood.
We entered the only place bold enough to have a color different from brown and white: a boutique managed by another unicorn. The difference lies in their makeup. Apparently, no one seems to notice that they all have the same face but with varying colors. Now Twilight is being rude to Rarity.
"Hey, Twi, just accept the girl's spaghetti. I think you can still eat a bit more," I said with a disappointed look and a craving for spaghetti.
"Spike, what are you talking about? We're talking about decorations," Twilight mentioned before being interrupted by Rarity.
"Oh, darling, do you owe me a story about Canterlot, the glamour about...?" Oh great, I'll just ignore this until the next scene!
"Spike, hey Spike. Are you okay? You've been lost in thought for half an hour. You didn't react when they put you in that outfit. All day you've just been quiet and still like a statue. Tell me if you're feeling unwell, okay?"
"Whatever you say, Twi. Hey, isn't that the next thing on the list?" The next part of the preparations involved checking if the festival music was suitable. A shy and reserved butter-colored pony conducted birds like an orchestra. However, even when Twilight tried to start a conversation with the girl, she only managed to make the conversation more uncomfortable, ending up in silence. As we were leaving, Fluttershy let out a cute scream upon seeing me and started babbling about how cool and manly us dragons are. It's always the shy ones.
"So, what do you want me to say?" I asked the sick armadillo-colored pony, enchanted by her pony-colored eyes.
"I want to know everything," she responded with a soft sigh that betrayed her true intentions. I decided to comply with her request but without delving into adult topics out of respect for Twilight.
"Well, it all started when I was a small and tender egg, living happily where dragons live. Until the evil Princess Celestia kidnapped me. Yes, she used her magic to snatch me and keep me as a trophy in her castle. Until one day, this pony..." I emphasized my point by tapping Twilight's rear end with my chubby paw, "...used me to pass her entrance exam at the Princess's School of Magic and Combat. Celestia was so impressed that a filly could hatch a dragon from its shell that she gifted her a palace, a pufferfish, and a personal servant – that would be me, a servant for all eternity, or for as long as ponies live." As I finished my story based on my vague new memories, Fluttershy had vanished, and I was alone in a dark room.
"Spike, how could you tell such a terrible and false story!?" But my sweet Twi's scolding had to wait given the new circumstances.
A group of ponies led by the pink pony (now Pinkie) decided to crash into our residence to give us a welcome that only Twilight would hear, probably threats and rules about the town. I decided to immerse myself in the atmosphere and might end up kissing a girl in the dark part of the treehouse.
After three hours of a wild party that was essentially an embellished twelve-year-old's celebration, I discovered a sad reality. For the ponies, I was a cute nine-year-old, chubby and spoiled. There would be no kisses under the table, and worse yet, nobody cared that I was a dragon. I was the biggest beast in this world but in miniature form, and the only one who seemed to care was the loser Pegasus, Fluttershy.
"Oh no, that story you told me was awful, Spike. I thought the princess was sweet and kind." Tears streamed from Fluttershy's lovely eyes, and a growing fear about her ruler only intensified. I decided to confirm it.
"Yes, but that's not the worst thing the princess has done. Once, she took away birthday cake from all the orphaned children in Equestria." I got up to find Twilight, leaving the now non-believer in her system of government, Fluttershy. Maybe she could dance with her. I remember she likes that a lot.
"Hey, Twilight, do you know how lame it is to throw a party at your house and then not show up? Besides, it's almost time for the festival and everything."
"Oh no, she's becoming rude again, I'm going to ignore her while she talks about how terrible it is to behave in society.
"Hey Twilight, we're here already and I only had to endure you for an afternoon."
"I was worried about you until you called me rude."
"Did I say that out loud?"
"Everyone, praise Princess Celestia!" shouted the mayor as she looked at Twilight. "Hey, don't you find it curious that the princess made her most important festival in a small, remote town in the middle of nowhere? And that she sent you instead of one of her own ponies?" The curtain revealed a black pony laughing and acting like me after my parents' divorce. Nightmare Moon caused panic in the entire place. Twilight dragged me to the treehouse. I distanced myself from her problems, leaving her alone in the library. Before leaving, I heard Twilight's new friends entering the place to confront her.
I entered the forest; it should be safe if it's close to the town and there's no sign of danger. I only remembered eating gems and cakes, but with these fangs, I could probably eat some small animals. Maybe that way, the locals would respect me, and I'd get kisses in the closet. I must have changed for less than an hour until I was captured by Nightmare Moon, the pony.
"You were the friend of that lavender pony, but it seems she left you to your fate. But now you'll be my dragon slave. If you obey me, I'll grant you the privilege of being my main pet," Nightmare Moon held me with her magic, putting me in a dilemma. Being demoted from a pet to a slave would be a big step back in my career, but I'd work for a better company, maybe even get medical insurance." Alright," I replied, "but I'll have to give my resignation to my old employer, you know, for a reference."
Nightmare Moon ignored me and teleported me to the ruins of a castle just in time for 'that' conversation with Twilight. Instead, Twilight tried to confront Nightmare Moon; I must be a great employee to her. I cried with happiness as my boss called her followers to beat Nightmare Moon with lasers, who didn't want to discuss my employment benefits.
"Spike, I'm glad you're okay. How did Nightmare Moon catch you?"
"That doesn't matter, Twilight. I just want you to know that I'll never consider another job offer."
But evil Celestia killed the joy and silenced happiness with her majestic entrance. She threatened the now defeated Nightmare Moon to never rebel against her again, making her cry.
Now Twilight had a crown and would be a new resident of Ponyville. And Fluttershy would be in a vegetative state after seeing the princess. Poor thing, she's the only one who knows 'the truth.'
Meanwhile, I can only watch as Twilight decides our new residence and accepts that her teacher sent her on a suicide mission to retrieve her sister, whom she banished because she was bored. I guess life is amazing.