> A Flyer for Flyers > by Mystic Mind > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The Power of C.E.L.B.A.P.O! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Alright, alright, I’m coming!” No sooner had Twilight Sparkle answered the incessant knocking on her castle door, Rainbow Dash burst through, knocking Twilight off her hooves.  “Oh, thank Celestia, you’re in!” Dash snapped with a hoarse gravel, her wide eyes red. “Ugh, Dash, what’s going on?” Twilight groaned, rubbing the freshly-grown lump on her head. “What’s the rush?” “Rush? Rush?!” Grabbing Twilight between her hooves, Dash shook her until her eyes spun around. “Do you have any idea what day it is?” “Uh…” Twilight cocked her head, as if scrolling through the endless notes of her mental rolodex. “Tuesday?” “It’s almost Scootaloo’s birthday! She’s nearly twelve years old and she hasn’t learned to fly yet!” “Okay, first of all, put me down–” Twilight wanted to add ‘gently’, but she knew ‘patience’ was not in Dash’s personal dictionary. A quick teleportation spell prevented her lump from gaining a nastier twin. “Secondly, you of all ponies should know you can’t force a Pegasus to fly. Every child develops at their own pace, and besides, Scootaloo has no trouble cloud-walking on her own. She’ll learn soon enough.” Dash face-hooved. “No, no, no! You don’t get it, Twi. Twelve is the oldest age you can join Jr. Flight Camp. If she doesn’t learn now, do you realise how much she’ll miss out on?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Dash, it’s just a camp. Does she even want to go?” “Who wouldn’t be? It’s the most awesome thing in any young Pegasi’s life! Me and Fluttershy wouldn’t have gotten our cutie marks without it.” No matter what she said, Twilight’s expression remained impassive. If Dash wanted her help, she’d have to make an offer she couldn’t refuse.  “Look, I’ve got a book emergency that only you can solve. You’ve gotta have something about Pegasus flight, don’t ya?”  Twilight sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Fine! If you really want to help, then a book on Pegasus biology is your best bet.” “Sweet!” Rubbing her hooves together, Dash took off, zooming past Twilight and almost knocking her down again… …only to zoom back a second later and succeed. “Uhhh…” Dash stared blankly at Twilight, who looked as if she’d just been informed that all of her tea was nicked by a shifty-looking posh mouse. “Third hall, ground floor, on the left,” Twilight groaned, transmuting a nearby fruit bowl into an ice pack for her now-reunited lump twins. “And please be careful this time!” “Huh?” As her mental hamster finally woke up from its nap, the freshly spinning wheel helped Dash realise that, no, castle interiors are not made for flying. “Oh! Of course. Sorry, Twi.” “Ugh!” Dash flopped backwards onto her bean bag. She’d been at this for thirty full minutes and had nothing to show for it. The vast halls of Twilight’s Library should have had something covering the subject of flying with disabilities. Yet despite skim reading tome after tome, her head was as empty as a flight school for tortoises. She almost wished she was an egghead for biology like she was for Daring Do books. Rolling back onto her hooves, she was about to leave when she felt something crinkle beneath her. Uh-oh, she thought. Twilight’s gonna kill me if I stepped on one of her books…  Steeling herself for the oncoming disaster, Dash tentatively glanced down. To her relief, any and all floor-scattered books were nowhere near her hooves. Instead, the object she had trodden on looked to be a leaflet of some description. Sitting back down, she retrieved the yellow paper, pressing out the creases as she unfolded it. Dash had never understood how a design aesthetic could be considered ‘loud’, but from the huge, all-capital letter impact font, to the red lightning bolts littering the page, this wasn’t just loud, it was a deafening roar – like that of a dragon with irritant skin sitting in exactly the wrong spot at the wrong time. “Are you or a Pegasus you love struggling to reach their full flying potential?” Dash read aloud, though she felt her inside voice was selling the advertisement’s drama short. “Then you need the brand new, state of the art, chemically-inclusive C.E.L.B.A.P.O* juice!” Dash scratched her head. What the heck was a Celbapo? Was that even a word? She had half a mind to write it off as nonsense, but the power of curiosity had its hooks in her, drawing her attention to the notes below. “*C.E.L.B.A.P.O stands for Critical Electrifying Legendary Brain Accelerating Power Overwhelming! Specially brewed for Pegasi brains, one sip will give its drinker a power boost of one-thousand percent! Endorsed by Wonderbolt recruits from Equestria and beyond, you will overcome any challenge, invent your dream machines, and become the best Pegasus you could ever hope to be! All through the engenius-ing liquid brain fuel of C.E.L.B.A.P.O!” Rainbow Dash grinned. She grinned wider than she ever had in her life. This was an opportunity so golden it would turn one of Applejack’s Apples into twenty-four whole carrots! With this power at her hooves, she would get Scootaloo airborne faster than you could say Double Rainboom. “Hey, Twilight!” Dash called, sliding the flyer between the pages of the Pegasi anatomy textbook. She just knew that if Twilight caught wind of the product, she’d have the whole business shut down for obsessive examination. Better to hide it and prove its worth by example. “I’m taking the book now, see ya!” “Which book?” Twilight asked, but when she poked her head around the corner, Dash was already gone, leaving her to deal with the inevitable mess of books scattered across the floor. From the minute she posted her order, Rainbow Dash was living life on fast forward — or, at least, more so than she already was. Doing the work of five ponies, she zipped through her weather duties, all so she could return home and wait with bated breath for her shipment to come. Two days later, it finally arrived. A heavy package filled with a grand total of twenty bottles, each with the words “C.E.L.B.A.P.O Max Energy” emboldened on the front in big, stylishly-angled letters. The drink itself was the greenest fizzy soda she’d ever seen, and she considered herself a fine connoisseur. The only thing left to do was see if she got her money’s worth. Ripping off the first bottle’s cap, Dash took a quick swig of it, sloshing the liquid around in her mouth. It was fizzy, a tad sour, but otherwise unremarkable.  So, she took another sip. Still nothing, so she downed the rest of it. Discarding the bottle, Dash let out a frustrated harrumph, turning back toward bed.  She froze. Her muscles tensed.  She tipped over backwards.  Followed immediately by bouncing off the walls at supersonic speed, leaving her house with more holes than a cheese factory with a parasprite infestation. Screeching to a halt, Dash let out a small, satisfied sigh and said, “Huh, good stuff.” Stimulation acquired, Dash grabbed a pencil and proceeded to jot down over one hundred different ideas on her bedsheet. “I’ve got it!” she proclaimed after writing the one-hundred-and-first idea. “Gunpowder!” “Good morning, Scoots! Got a minute?” Arriving at Scootaloo’s house bright and early, Dash greeted her with a grin so wide it looked ready to leap from her face and go for a walk. She was just in time, too, as Scootaloo had just finished locking up. “Oh, hey Dash!” she replied, giving her a hoof-bump. “What’s the occasion?” “Oh, nothing much,” Dash replied, striking a relaxed pose mid-air. “I was just thinking, ‘Say, I haven’t seen my most radical little sister lately. Why don’t I go see all those new, epic scooter stunts of hers?’ And wouldn’t ya know it? There just so happens to be a new skate park waiting for its star rider!” “Well…” Scootaloo hesitated, glancing past Dash. Was she onto her already? She wasn’t twitching that much – only around three times a second more than average. “I guess I could, but me and the girls already have a job for today. We promised the new foal in town to help in getting their cutie mark.” Shoot! Dash cringed internally. Of course she would have other plans. “Well, what if they want a cutie mark in extreme sports? You’ll be their biggest inspiration!” Dash tensed as Scootaloo hummed in thought, rubbing her chin. “Well, when you put it that way…” “Hey, Scootaloo, what’s the holdup?” Applebloom called, trotting over the crest of the hill. “Oh, nothin’ much,” Scootaloo waved back. “Dash just had the most radical idea about getting Rock Chuck their cutie mark.” “Really?” Applebloom narrowed her eyes at Rainbow Dash, but grinned anyway. “Now, this I’ve gotta see! Lemmie just tell Sweetie Belle real quick and— woah!” Without warning, Dash whisked the three girls off of their hooves, only to stop half-way through Ponyville to ask one important question she’d nearly forgotten about. “So, where is this lil’ blank flank anyway?” “Alright, here’s the deal.” Rainbow Dash gestured over to her ‘Skate Park’, which was little more than a glorified sandbox with a single ramp and a hay-covered pit. “Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and—” she paused upon pointing to the new foal – an androgynous child, short in stature but plump in girth, with a fuzzy emerald green coat and an equally frazzled mane that covered their eyes. They groaned. “I told you a million times already. It’s Rock Chuck! Rocky for short.” “Yeah, Pebble Throw. Got it. Anyway, you three will lie down in front of the ramp, and Scoots will get some big air time from racing down that hill over there.” The hill Dash referred to was the tallest in Ponyville, its downward gradient so steep, ponies ascending it often required climbing gear just to remain upright. “She has to pull off as many sick tricks as she can before she lands on that patch of hay. Any questions?” Applebloom raised her hoof. “Did ya happen to ask my sister for the planks to make this ramp? Or did ya just nab–” “Yes,” Dash interrupted. “Any more questions? No? Good! Okay, Scoots! Time to get rolling!” The kids scrambled into position, while Dash took her place behind a nearby tree, striking a match with her teeth to light the cannon’s long fuse. It was perfect. Once Scootaloo had hit the target, she’d fall straight through hay and boom! The cannon would shoot her back into the air, leaving her no choice but to fly and save herself. Upon reaching the top, Scootaloo began her descent immediately, picking up speed so fast the wind resistance gave her a second pair of wings from the loose, flapping skin around her cheeks. Faster and faster she went, reaching top speed and zooming past five ascending ponies, three yodelling sheep, and a rather bewildered yak whose fur was inexplicably blown back over their head. As Scootaloo hit the ramp, Dash covered her ears, eyes glued to the canon. Scootaloo flipped head-over-hooves once, twice, then spun around thrice with a backwards kick flip, falling ever closer to the landing spot, until… Nothing. Scootaloo landed, bounced off, and skidded to a halt, hooves firmly placed on the ground. No explosion, no epic launch, not even a single disturbed strand of straw. “Oh, come on!” Dash groaned loudly, her eye twitching as she stomped over to the trap. Rock Chuck, by contrast, was dazzled by the whole show, racing over to Scootaloo with stars in their eyes. “That was so cool! When did you learn to—” An ear-piercing explosion rocked the skate park, drawing all eyes to the hay patch where Scootaloo had landed just prior. Floating mid-air, there was Rainbow Dash, her dishevelled feathers smouldering and her fur soot black. “Uh, Rainbow Dash? You okay there, sis?” Scootaloo asked. Slowly, she looked down at Scootaloo, her neck creaking loudly like an ill-fitting floorboard crying out for a hammer. Lifting a single wing feather, she took a long, ragged breath and grunted, “Never better.”  “That was totally epic!” Rock Chuck giggled, bouncing up and down like a hyperactive rabbit on a pogo stick. “I knew Scooter stunts were awesome, but the explosion at the end made it even more radical! Thank you so much, Cutie Mark Crusaders. Now I know for sure, I’ve found my destiny!” “Well ain’t that swell,” Dash grunted, blowing smoke from her nostrils before tipping over and collapsing to the ground, hooves in the air. As she fell unconscious, the last thing she saw was a black bomb with a burning fuse manifesting itself on Rock Chuck’s flank. Since when did getting a cutie mark become so painful? Luckily for Rainbow Dash, it didn’t take her long to recover. A hot bath and a dozen cans of C.E.L.B.A.P.O later, she felt as good as new, ready to start planning her next scheme. After five hours and nearly two-hundred crumpled pages of half-baked plans tossed over her shoulder, Dash collapsed face first into her bed, grunting in frustration. No matter what she came up with, she just couldn’t think of how to get Scootaloo in the right place at the right time, without giving the game away. Yet upon glancing over to her bedside calendar, her brain’s inner hamster kicked into gear, pinging her lightbulb of inspiration to life. “I’ve got it! The Sisterhooves Social!” The annual Sisterhooves Social would look for new ways to challenge its competitors. So, she reasoned, why not add a little challenge of her own to aid in that goal? This plan was going to be perfect. Even if the last one hadn’t been after all, Rainbow Dash just knew, without a doubt, that this was the most unfailable scheme she had ever come up with. So devious, in fact, that she was chuckling silently to herself all the way through her warm-up stretches. Unbeknownst to everypony, she had sunk a carefully set catapult in the deepest part of the mud pit. The rules stated each sister team had to complete the race together, but there was nothing against using the course’s own obstacles to their advantage. Not that she’d read any other rules to begin with. “This is gonna be so epic!” Scootaloo clopped her hooves together as she literally buzzed with excitement. “Do you think we’re gonna win this year?” “I dunno, squirt,” Dash said, slicking back her mane. “But one thing’s for sure. We’re gonna give it our best shot.” She couldn’t help belting out an evil cackle, to which Scootaloo decided to join in as well. “Hey, what are we laughing about, again?” “Attention all contenders!” the announcer called over the loudspeakers. “Please make your way over to the starting line. The race will begin in exactly five minutes!” Go time, thought Dash. Now all she needed to do was direct Scootaloo to the right spot, and she’d be sky-high faster than one could say ‘Stop flying through my house and look where you’re going!’ She seemed to get that comment a lot recently. “Racers, on your marks!” Dash and Scootaloo bent their knees, ready to leave the competition in their dust. “Get… set… go!” They got off to an excellent start. All of Scootaloo’s scooter stunts had given her powerful calf muscles, so much that even Applejack and Applebloom struggled keeping up with her.  Not that it mattered to Dash. She knew Scootaloo’s agility would give her the edge against the early obstacles, but it was the mud pit where her plan would really shine. Keeping themselves ahead by the nose, Dash carefully nudged Scootaloo left and right, lining her up for the inevitable spring-launch. Then, just as they were about to dive head-first into it, Dash spotted the one thing she hoped to see the least. A small white rabbit, dressed in a tiny pink bathrobe, bathing in the mud with cucumbers over its eyes.  And Scootaloo was heading right for it. “Look out!” Throwing out her hooves, Dash shoved Scootaloo to one side, skidding to a halt as wet mud splashed all over her face. She hit something solid, then heard a click. “Oh no.” Dash shut her eyes tight. “Not aga–” The catapult went off, but instead of the long arm snapping up, the whole device popped into the air, flipped over, and came crashing down on Rainbow Dash before she could even think of deploying the tiny ‘help’ sign she kept under her wings. “Uh, Dash?” Scootaloo called from somewhere above - the above being the catapult’s tipped over base. “Where’d you go?” “Ow,” was Dash’s only response. It was at this point, she had a funny feeling that her plans weren’t as perfect as she thought they’d be. Either that, or her wishbone had gotten very cross about its forced relocation to her neighbouring pelvis. Time was running out. After two failed attempts to get Scootaloo to fly and an extended hospital visit, she was now a strong contender for ‘that doesn’t go there!’ champion of the year. Regardless, Scootaloo’s birthday was right around the corner. If she didn’t come up with something soon, her ultimate gift — along with her sister’s dreams of Jr. Flight Camp — would be shattered. Rainbow Dash, however, was not someone who gives up easily. No matter what the doctors said about her liver looking more like a dehydrated orange, she was going to drench herself in C.E.L.B.A.P.O juice until she came up with the invention to end all inventions. For two days and nights, she sat hunched over her desk, discarding drawing after drawing as she racked her brain over every possible outcome until, at last, she had the ultimate plan. So, baggy-eyed and twitching from the caffeine overload, she set out to find some wooden stakes and a rubber band. This was it. The ultimate plan of ultimate plans; a plan so devious, so cunning, so utterly brilliant that even the fox gods of cunning and planning would bow down in the shadow of her genius. First, she would set up the scene. As far as Sweetie Belle knew, she had received a letter from a famous Canterlot playwright, recognising her singing talent from the Ponyville talent shows. All she had to do was practise a few select lines in front of the Ghastly Gorge, and she would be a shoe-in for the part of a dainty damsel in distress. Scootaloo, meanwhile, would get a different message. She would believe that Sweetie Belle was in genuine danger, and the only way to save her would be to traverse the Gorge by a series of ready-made launches, all designed to give her the speed and height she needed for a fly-in rescue. It was just like she’d read in that one novel Dash loved, Daring Do and the Deathly Canoe, only with less mutant alligator boats and a little more bouncing. With Sweetie Belle now in place, her flat, emotionless voice definitely proclaiming how helpless she was, Dash waited patiently for Scootaloo. “Oh my gosh, Dash!” Right on cue, Scootaloo skidded her scooter to a stop, gasping for air with a dour look. After the marathon ride it had taken to get here from Ponyville, Dash hoped she wasn’t too tired to fly. “Thank Celestia you’re here.” “Oh? What’s up, Squirt?” Dash asked, struggling not to chuckle as she feigned ignorance.  “It’s Sweetie Belle, she’s in serious trouble!” Exhaustion be damned, Scootaloo’s wings were already buzzing as she hopped up and down on the spot. Part of Dash felt guilty for lying to her, but once her plan would work out, she knew Scoots would forgive her. “Sweetie Belle’s been kidnapped!” Scootaloo continued, belting out each word like a jumping bean in a frying pan. “They wanted me to come alone, but since you’re here anyway, you’ve gotta help me.” “I want to, squirt, but…” Dash let her wings fall limp at her side, pretending to strain as she barely lifted them. “That incident with the Sisterhooves Social busted my wings pretty bad. The doctors said I have to rest them if I ever wanna fly again. You’ll just have to go on without me!” Scootaloo’s expression dropped, ears falling flat against her head. “But, what am I gonna do? I’m not a super-sonic hero like you are.” “Weeeelll,” Dash hummed in an exaggerated fashion. “There is one thing you could use.” Scootaloo blinked. “Huh?” “The Doctors also recommended I exercise using the giant rubber sling behind me. Y’know, to keep my muscles strong while I recover. Maybe you could use it to get a little boost?” Scootaloo took one glance at the sling, then over the edge of the cliff, and gulped. “Isn’t that a little far to jump?” “Normally, maybe, but that’s the brilliant part.” The twinkle in Dash’s eye was so bright, even Celestia couldn’t lower it. “But the doctors also recommend I test my wings by bouncing on trampolines from big heights.” “And you got the trampolines, too?” “Yup!” “To the bottom of the gorge?” “Uh-huh.” “Then came up again to build a giant slingshot?” “See, you get it! Now, hurry. Sweetie Belle’s life is on the line.” The echoing ring of Sweetie Belle’s monotone cries eroded any of Scootaloo’s hesitation. With a determined frown, she kicked her scooter into action, throwing herself into the slingshot. The rubber band stretched, and stretched, and stretched some more, going so far back, Dash wondered if Scoots had fallen off the other side of the cliff. Then, she heard the most beautiful sound. The sound of a booming twang as the band snapped back into place, launching Scootaloo at a speed no filly–besides Rainbow Dash–had ever experienced. She was moving so fast, she didn’t even need to move her wings, instead coasting through the air while gravity was still sleeping on the job. “Come on, come on!” Dash said, her whole body tense with anticipation. “Shake those little feathers, Scoots!” It wasn’t long before gravity started regaining awareness of the situation, pulling Scootaloo down with its invisible rope. This was the moment of truth. Once Scoots hit the trampolines, even a basic glide would be enough to reach Sweetie Belle, no problem. Yet her wings remained firmly stowed. Worse still, the Quarray Eels were catching wind of a potential snack, waiting at the edge of their hideyholes for the perfect moment to snap. Dash fluffed out her wings and bent her knees. If Scootaloo didn’t start flying soon, she would bravely zip in and rescue both fillies from the unfortunate situation she created. Only she didn’t need to. Scootaloo twisted her body, grinding her scooter against the canyon wall and knocking a shower of rocks loose, bonking the head of each eel along the way. Dash’s jaw didn’t just hit the floor. It went through the floor and several layers of sandstone. Was there no end to Scootaloo’s riding talents? So busy was Dash gawking at the scooter stunts, she completely forgot about the trampolines. The same trampolines that were now catching a huge chunk of canyon rock, bouncing it back towards her. By the time she noticed the large shadow looming over her, she had just enough time to recognise that, no, the weather team had not forecast a sudden rainstorm. Dash closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable impact.  She heard a loud thud, followed by a crunch, but not from her body. Cracking open one eye, it was with great relief she saw the rock sitting motionless behind her. “Yes!” Dash proclaimed, punching her hoof to the sky. “Screw you, fate! I win! I’m so awesome! I’m— woah!” As if it heard her boasting, the rock slowly, determinedly, landed on the slingshot, now wrapped around Dash’s hind hoof. Then - because it wasn’t finished - it promptly pushed itself off the edge. She didn’t even bother to scream this time. Instead, she just pouted, folded her front hooves over her chest, and grumpily let fate complete its humiliation of her. This was going to be a long day. Again. Rainbow Dash had failed. She had spent the whole night chugging bottle after bottle of C.E.L.B.A.P.O juice, and she hadn’t come up with a single good idea on how to get Scootaloo flying. Between the time spent building her ridiculous traps and the time she’d spent in hospital, Dash lost the time she could’ve used to give her a proper birthday present. She was a failure of a sister in every respect. The only thing left to do was face the music and be honest with her. Head hung low, Dash downed the final bottle and threw it over her shoulder, not caring where it landed. She had a long flight down to Ponyville ahead of her. As she took to the wing, Dash did her best to hold a fake smile in place as she greeted her neighbours. “Morning, Dash,” said Clear Skies in her thick, Manehatten twang. “Morning,” Dash raised a hoof as she glided past. “Good morning, Rainbow Dash!” said Derpy, doing her morning paper rounds. “Right back at ya.” “Ah! Rainbow Dash! Good morning!” said Scootaloo. “Morning squir–” Dash stopped. Then she looked down. Then she did a double take. She wasn’t anywhere near the ground yet. “Hey, wait a minute. Scootaloo, you can fly?!” “Uh, yeah!” she said nonchalantly, her little wings buzzing in a blur. “I’ve been able to for months now. Didn’t you get my letter?” Dash had to think about that for a moment. After getting so much fanmail in the past year, she’d set up a P.O box to keep track of it all. Since then, she hadn’t got a single letter delivered to her house. Perhaps that was the reason why her mailbox had disappeared so suddenly? “But what about all the pranks I did?” Dash asked, the tiny hamster-wheel in her brain running flat out to catch up with all the new revelations. If she didn’t get an answer soon, it would probably go on strike. “If you could fly this whole time, why didn’t you?” Scootaloo shrugged. “Eh, I don’t like flying much. It’s exhausting! Besides, scooter tricks are way cooler when you don’t use your wings.” “Huh. I guess so.” Dash’s expression dropped. “Looks like you never needed me after all.” “Hey! I never said that!” Swooping down, Scootaloo barrel rolled ahead of Dash before she could fly away. “Don’t you remember why I call you my big sister?” “‘Cause you thought I did awesome stuff?” “Well, yeah, but that’s ‘cause you’re awesome in general! I’ll never fly like you can, but y’know what? I’m okay with that. There’s no point in trying to be the next Rainbow Dash, ‘cause there’ll never be one. You taught me that flying was awesome, but it’s even more awesome to follow your own dreams and do what you love. “I know what kind of pony I wanna be. I wanna be loyal to my friends, be an awesome stunt performer, and be a cutie mark crusader. I would’ve never done any of that if it wasn’t for you.” Rainbow Dash was speechless. She’d been so obsessed with providing her a dream, she’d forgotten if it was something Scootaloo actually wanted. Only now did she see that, Jr. Flight Camp or not, her little sister was still her happy little self. Dash smiled and pulled Scootaloo into a big hug. “Thanks squirt. I needed that.” “Anytime, big sis,” Scootaloo hugged back. “Oh, and before I forget, happy birthday, Scoots!” Ruffling her hair, Dash turned around and ushered Scootaloo back towards her house. “If ya want, I can give ya a piece of Wonderbolts memorabilia as a present. If you’re lucky, I may have a spare can of their energy juice lying around.” “You mean that C.E.L.B.A.P.O stuff?” Dash cocked an eyebrow. She hadn’t told anypony about drinking it. “Wait, how do you know that name?” “Me and the girls caught the Flim-Flam brothers peddling it the other day,” Scootaloo explained casually. “Twilight said something about the name. It’s like a… gram-ma-gram, or something?” “You mean anagram?” The second the words left Dash’s lips, the realisation hit her like an encyclopaedia book to the face. She had wondered why the drink tasted so much like Apple Cider.