Join former military unicorn and protégé of the Overlord, Argent Silver, as she learns about the magic of friendship with her friends! It's a whole other world out there, after all!
Dear Overlord,
Sky is clear. Ammunition low. Friendship overwhelming. Please send help.
In the Sorcerer Kingdom of Equestria, ponies and non-ponies live in harmony. Join former military unicorn and protégé of the Overlord, Argent Silver, as she learns about the magic of friendship with her friends: the brutally honest adventurer Keepaway, the strangely prescient Zero Regret, not-a-bad-pegasus Rainmaker Tempest, dragon breadwinner Code Break, and the dense-headed socialite Heartstopper!
(Where a bunch of isekai characters are now the cast of Friendship is Magic.)
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal alicorns who ruled together and created harmony for all the land.
To do this, the mare guided us from the heavens, blessing this wonderful world and leading departed souls through the rivers of reincarnation; the stallion guided us from the earth, setting the foundations of society for the living, whether ponykind or otherwise.
Thus, the two maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects.
But as time went on, the mare became resentful. Envious of the stallion's success and disgusted at his openness towards non-ponies, she struggled to become as beloved as he, and in her attempts at doing so, her blessings inadvertently turned into curses.
One fateful day, the mare refused to reincarnate souls any longer, instead forcing the dearly departed to become her unwitting servants. The stallion tried to reason with her, but the hatred in the mare's heart had transformed her into the wicked mare of darkness: the one known as Being A.
She vowed that she would "purify" the world of the stallion once and for all. Reluctantly, the stallion harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, he defeated her, and banished her permanently to her task of reincarnation. The stallion took on responsibility for both heaven and earth as Overlord
"...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since."
Argent Silver squinted at the text, double-checking the translation. While an interesting bit of propaganda, she wasn't certain that lip-service was exactly what her Overlord was meaning for her to find in this text. There had to be another reason for him to recommend this reading to her...
"Elements of Harmony. Maybe a pseudonym for a magical superweapon… something to look into, if I can cross-reference the sources."
"Major!"
Commander Edelweiss trotted in, an earth pony three times Argent's size, twice her age, and her vice commander when their battalion was still active. A bit strange for any onlookers, but the Sorcerer Kingdom of Equestria was a meritocracy to a fault. He seemed particularly pleased with himself today.
"Some members of the 203rd decided to visit on their way to Belzerg, so Kerning and I decided to have a get-together at the tavern. Wanna come?"
"Ah, I can't," Argent shrugged, running a hoof through her blonde mane, "our Overlord's planning something big, it seems, and I've got to piece it together as always. Buy them a drink for me, yes?"
"I'll say you said hello," Edelweiss saluted cheekily. Argent rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Honestly, the war was over and he wasn't even her direct inferior anymore. She waved him off as she returned to the book at hand, absentmindedly opening the door to the palace library.
"Vipress! Vipress! …Vipress?"
The amber-scaled dragoness in question was currently curled up on Argent's favorite chair, snacking down on an absurd number of potato chips and reading… kitschy romance novels? Upon spotting Argent, Vipress poorly hid the book behind her back and stood at her full height; twice as tall as Argent, including her scales; and saluted, mouth still half-full with food.
"Major," gulp, "Silver!"
"At ease. And clean yourself up, at least."
Argent's horn glowed gold as she levitated a handkerchief to Vipress's mouth, wiping any crumbs away from the corners of her snout. The immediate blush on the dragon's face went unseen as the diminutive unicorn started rifling through bookshelves.
"Find me the first edition copy of Predictions and Prophecies. The dog-eared one," Argent paused, "and… you did hear about the 203rd meetup, right? I wasn't certain if Edelweiss burnt a message to you."
"Oh, yes! Although, I had a feeling that you'd be focused on our Overlord's assignment," Vipress said, flapping her wings to get to the higher bookshelves labeled P,"so I elected to stay here and help."
"As always, I couldn't ask for a better adjutant."
Vipress's smile was beaming as always. Argent finally found the book she was looking for — Elements of Harmony: A Compendium of Details of References — before flipping to the River of Reincarnation reference.
The River of Reincarnation, a myth from olden pony times. Said to be the prison of the mare of heaven, who once conspired to destroy our Overlord and ruin the Sorcerer Kingdom of Equestria. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the mare shall return and enact a godlike curse on this wonderful world.
Argent gritted her teeth, double-checked it with Predictions and Prophecies, and resisted the urge to defenestrate the book entirely. Once more, the upper brass asks for the impossible, hm? Did they expect their illustrious Argent Silver to kill a goddess, this time? Utterly incomprehensible. She'd need at least six months to retrain her battalion to fighting fitness, and mentally sizing up the current military force of Equestria against somepony on par with her Overlord…
No. This was just a test, right? Surely, her Overlord was a cut above the war-addled general staff and had the foresight to see this coming, especially if he created the spell to imprison his own counterpart. Ever since her instatement as his personal mage protege, he's assigned her to solve unorthodox problems that most people wouldn't have even considered, while always being a step ahead himself… Truly, this is the intellect that shouldered a nation for a thousand years…
Hm. As expected from her Overlord!
Well. She was happy to say that she solved this particular puzzle. Argent Silver sighed in contentment. Now, to report her findings.
"Vipress, take a note.
To his Supremacy,
Your reading reference was quite educational, and as always, I am grateful for your prescience on matters of life and death. I shall rest assured that Being A will be thoroughly neutralized by the time of her arrival. If I were acceptably equipped, I would endeavor to cleanse the world of her existence myself… but I trust that you have this matter well in-hand. Nevertheless, I eagerly look forward to your next assignment.
Ever at your service,
Argent Silver"
Putting the finishing touches on the letter, Vipress almost immediately burnt it to send to their Overlord, before raising a scaly eyebrow. Argent looked at her expectantly.
"Ah, not to question your decision, Major, but… should we really send this to our Overlord today? It's Otherworld Day in two days, and…"
"That's exactly why I'm sending it now. Our Overlord has been awaiting this moment for a millennia, and likely sent this task to me in order to disseminate classified information in a coded message. I need to make him aware of my," Argent cleared her throat, "awareness. Either way, I'm simply turning in my homework two days early, so to speak."
"Alright, the Major always knows best," Vipress nodded, before burning the rolled-up letter with a brilliant orange flame. Almost immediately, a return letter came, and Vipress cleared her throat to begin reading aloud.
With a satisfied smirk, Argent Silver listened on.
"My shining protege,
As expected, you've managed to decipher my ambitions.
However, you could not be more wrong about my intentions regarding Being A."
Argent Silver's smirk dropped.
"Eh?"
"I'm afraid my exact methods will have to remain shrouded from you at this moment. Know that your loyalty is well-placed.
In any case, to take your mind off of this, I have a new task for you: to oversee the preparations for Otherworld Day in this year's location: Carneville. Refer to the attachment for details.
I would also implore you to try to socialize during this task, as it is imperative that you be able to mingle with the common citizenry. I understand your usual methods were terrifyingly efficient with the 203rd, but we are now in peacetime, so I trust you to be able to act accordingly.
Written by Demon Urge, in humble service of our glorious Overlord,
RHINE ALLGONE"
Magic yanked the attachment as stark blue eyes angrily scanned over its contents. Vipress stood by awkwardly, shifting on her hind claws as Argent Silver muttered under her breath. Whether reading the details to herself or cursing her luck (as she often did, for as long as she'd known her), Vipress couldn't say.
The unicorn, stone-faced, neatly rolled up their Overlord's return message. And began packing.
As she shoved a healthy stack of books into a briefcase, Argent Silver's face did not betray the internal screaming in her mind, consisting of the following words:
CURSE YOU, BEING A!
"At least our living arrangements are pretty nice."
"They're coddling us to keep us in the dark, Vipress. What was that saying, about being a mushroom in manure?"
"Well, I thought the library being an old barracks is pretty cool…" Vipress confessed, tapping her index claws together.
Argent sighed. "This must be another test… it has to be! Seeing if I can further deduct his plans even without the resources of the capital and the realpolitik power I hold. Yes, that sounds more like our Overlord's speed…"
As their chariot landed, Argent silently slipped a couple bits each for the two transit stallions assigned to the ride, and they whinnied in thanks. Best to ingratiate yourself to your ride out of here.
"Maybe the local ponies might have some rural knowledge on the matter…?"
Argent Silver raised an eyebrow to Vipress, before turning around to look at the first pony she saw. A brown-maned, blue-coated, teal-eyed earth pony stopped snacking on a muffin and stared like a changeling in lamplights.
"Oh, hey. New pony." Then, the stranger gasped, her blue ribbon bouncing on her head. "Ooooh, new pony! Hi, new pony! I'm Heartstopper, and I'd love to — hey, wait, Princefire, Green Thumb, what —"
Uncomfortably, Argent backed away slowly — before the mare in question was wrestled away by a beautiful blonde stallion and an auburn-haired mare giving Argent a stink-eye. The strange mare blabbered something incomprehensible, still waving at Argent and saying something about a tea party.
Argent only barely saw her Cutie Mark as she left. A heart with a crown, but the crown was marred in the shape of an X.
"I have a feeling the local ponies won't be of much help," Argent Silver groused.
First item on the docket: catering. Arguably the most important of logistics when it comes to these sorts of events, otherwise you've got a forced social gathering, not a festival. And, of course, stimulating the local economy and expanding the free market was rarely a bad thing.
Still, despite Argent's own fascination with economics, the threat of Being A still lingered on her mind. Time was a valuable resource, and the more she felt it ticking away, the more she felt her habitual eye-twitch grow stronger.
She put on her best political smile, though, because she had to have some sense of decorum. Walking into the Adventuring Guild, she approached the first person who seemed to be part of the various adventurers there — a bored-looking male unicorn with a green coat and brown hair. His cutie mark was in the shape of a black cat holding a four-leafed clover.
"Good afternoon. I'm Argent Silver, and I —"
"...5/10. Too short."
Her eye-twitch returned. "Excuse me?"
"Eh, nevermind. I'm Keepaway. What do you need?"
…What? That's it? Argent cleared her throat.
"...we're our Overlord's official envoys to make sure the preparations are ready for Otherworld Day. I assume your staff is in charge of catering the event?"
"Yup."
"...Is it going well?"
"As far as I can tell." Keepaway shrugged.
Argent squinted. "Is that all the information I'm going to get today?"
Keepaway rolled his eyes and sighed, before trotting away. Almost tempted to leave entirely, Argent Silver did her level best to remain calm and try to play nice, following behind him. Apparently, this was the right answer.
Carneville's Adventuring Guild was a respectable size. Obviously not as big as the one in the capital, but everything's bigger in Nazalot. The usual job board and wooden tables were there, along with Carneville's banner on the walls. A glance at the job board revealed they were easy-to-middle-level, with the odd difficulty spike here and there. As they walked and Keepaway talked, though, the smell of cooking meat and seared greens — presumably, for both the ponies and non-ponies that will attend — wafted through the air.
"Look, I'm not in charge of the actual preparations. I'm in charge of making sure my party doesn't blow up Carneville to kingdom come or do anything equally as stupid while we go hunt in the Everfree for your catering, and that's not going to go well if I have to play tour guide for your Nazalot flank. You can go talk to Luna over there," he gestured vaguely at a lovely-looking mare behind a counter, "she knows more than me."
"EXPLOSION!"
A loud boom shook the floorboards and made the tables jump, and Argent Silver put up a defensive shield out of sheer instinct, Vipress taking to the skies. The locals, however, didn't bat an eye, and continued drinking their mugs of cider.
"Oh, Tartarus-damned — that's them!"
"Well, Keepaway —"
"Yes, I'm Keepaway."
"...Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. I'll leave you to your… business."
"Yeah, yeah, all in a day's work. Oy, Megaflare, you dolt — Dusk Darkness, why didn't you stop her…! — And stop calling me Creepaway!"
As his voice faded past the doors and into an incoherent scolding, Argent tried to massage the headache away while Vipress dutifully checked the checkmark off the box. Luckily, the indigo-coated mare at the counter was far more rational and helped them assess the catering selection.
Though, why a full-time receptionist would have a Cutie Mark of a moon was beyond her.
"Well, that's catering out of the way." Vipress smiled, finishing off a spare rib. "The meat was really great, I wish you could have tried it."
"One of the pitfalls of being a herbivore, I'm afraid," Argent said, before assessing the sky. …Hm. Already completely clear. Looks like their pegasus-on-hand was on top of the job, thankfully. One less thing to worry about.
Weather, of course, could be considered an optional task, but it was easy enough for any pegasi to clear out a summer's day, so checking it off the list on the way wouldn't be any effort at all. Especially since the clouds were already gone. Maybe they'd set a clear sky schedule for this week? Or somepony decided to work in advance. Overtime is overtime, she supposed.
"Hey, Argent!"
Turning to whomever said her name, Argent Silver found a grey-coated, dark-maned pegasus, about the same age as Keepaway from earlier. His eyes had a distinctly stark look to them, which was in contrast with the all-too-friendly wave at her as he trotted up to her familiarly. What was with this town and the lack of stranger danger?
"Ah, sorry, you've caught me wrong-hoofed," Argent Silver apologized, "do I know you?"
The pegasus blanched, before laughing embarrassedly… or nervously, depending on how you looked at it. His Cutie Mark, now that he was close enough for her to look at it, was a dark swirl in the shape of an oval. Again, somewhat intimidating, if it wasn't for his amiable greeting.
"Er… Guess not. I think we met somewhere and you just don't remember…? Well, I'm Zero Regret!" He raised a wing to the sky, smiling and winking. "Not only am I clueless, I'm broke beyond compare! …Well, I was, anyway. Nice to meet you!"
Argent blinked. Vipress blinked. His smile didn't fade, not even a little bit. A tumbleweed blew past. He was still in the same pose.
Deciding to break the stalemate, Argent kicked a rock before speaking.
"...I'm guessing that's a force of habit."
"A bit. From back when I.. well. Anyways! I got up real early just to make sure the skies were clear for Otherworld Day. You're new to town, right? I mean, Heartstopper let me know while I was working, so I figured I'd get some gifts for the newcomers!"
Fishing something from a satchel, Zero Regret pulled out a bag of high-end coffee beans and a box of chocolates. Vipress immediately snatched up the sweets, while Argent tentatively took the coffee as she eyed Zero Regret suspiciously.
A spy? No, the war was over. An agent of Being A? No, she hasn't returned yet. A member of a secret cult? Perhaps… but even the most basic of ponies knew that soldiers were trained in poison detection spells.
Zero Regret started sweating under her stare, ruffling his feathers.
"I figured coffee and chocolate were popular enough for you to like one of them… Let me know if you don't want them, though."
"No," Argent waved off, stowing away her gift for later, "this is quite nice, actually. Well… we appreciate the hard work. Feel free to let us know of any important updates regarding the weather control. Thank you, Mr. Regret."
"Please, call me Zero," he laughed, "I've had enough regrets already!"
And with that horrible joke, Argent Silver bade him goodbye as fast as she could cringe at it.
Catering and weather were squared off. If all else fails, their Overlord will be treated to a pleasant picnic on the outskirts of town. However, given the supreme immortal god-ruler of all of Equestria is coming, and not some small-town baron looking for a PR stunt, a summer picnic obviously wouldn't be enough, and Argent Silver was certain that Demon Urge would have her head if that's all she could muster.
Hence, the next important part of the reception — the location. The more decadent, the better. Within budget, of course, but Argent hoped this small town had enough sense that they'd pour every last bit into the most publicity that Carneville's probably seen in decades.
Inspecting the repurposed town hall, Argent was actually fairly impressed with the manpower that went into turning a municipal building into a place of celebration. As expected of somewhere like Carneville, they'd made the decision to host most of the celebration outside, like a true countryside festival, with some spaces reserved indoors. Perhaps not the most bourgeois of premises, but you can only punch up so high before falling flat.
The only issue being…
"A little to the left… okay, stop! Pivot! Rotate! Lift, Grobta, lift! Nevermind, let me help you!"
…It was still under construction. Griffins, diamond dogs, and ponies alike were milling about working on construction. In the final stages by the looks of it, thank goodness, but still a bit disheartening compared to the Adventuring Guild's buffet or Zero Regret's one-stallion job. Oh well, you couldn't win them all.
A diminutive griffon with green feathers struggled to lift what seemed to be the foundation for a raised platform — before an almost-entirely blue… Male? Female? …decidedly androgynous pegasus descended and helped them lift. Their Cutie Mark was a rain cloud watering a sapling.
"Ah, Rainmaker! Thanks for the save! Sorry..."
"It's no problem at all. Alright, on three. One, two…"
"Ahem."
A golden glow enveloped the construction piece they were lifting, and their eyes widened as it levitated into what the unicorn assumed to be the correct place. Slotting it into the ground, Argent let go of her magic.
The griffon, Grobta stopped — stared at Vipress for an uncomfortable amount of time, mouth open — before giving Argent a hurried thanks before getting to work nailing it into place. The pegasus from earlier gave him a dirty look before turning to Argent.
"Hey, thanks a bunch, stranger! Although…" The blue pegasus hummed, "Gotta say I've never seen a kid like you around here before. Not to mention the dragon…"
"I'm not a child," Argent huffed, before shaking off her own displeasure, "but I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Argent Silver, and this is Vipress. We're our Overlord's official envoys to make sure things are going smoothly for Otherworld Day."
"Oh, I see, I see. Well, I'm Rainmaker Tempest, and I'm not a bad pegasus."
Argent tilted her head.
"Is this town…"
"...full of weird introductions? Yes, actually. For various reasons. Better get used to it while you can." Rainmaker chuckled.
"Right," Argent sighed, "well, onto business. The premises look amazing in concept, but I'd hate for our esteemed guests, or worse, our Overlord to arrive at an unfinished product. Do you estimate you'll have it complete by the RSVP time, or will I need to ask to reallocate resources?"
"Maa, maa, no need for that," Rainmaker waved off, giving her an easy-going smile, "my team has it covered. We started two days ago, so if we keep up the rate we're going at, we'll have it done in an hour."
Two days? An hour?! The logistics train and working speed required for that sort of efficiency would require a miracle, to say the least!
And then a very large dragon haphazardly slotted a pre-made roof onto the platform that was being made — which unfurled with full decor, banners and all. And just like that, the construction crew were onto another platform, already looking half-completed.
"...I have my doubts, but I'll leave them in your capable hooves," Argent acquiesced, before continuing to ask some more technical questions. Rainmaker was as easygoing and carefree as they initially seemed, without much in the way of verbose knowledge, but where they lacked the ability to clarify, they simply pointed at the results of their labor.
"Sorry, I usually have someone helping me answer the hard stuff," Rainmaker shrugged, giving her a what-can-you-do look, "but I can point you to a mare who knows the numbers, if you need."
"It's fine, I've seen enough," Argent nodded, not wanting to hash out statistics for the majority of her time here, "I'll let you know if I need anything else."
With that, Argent Silver and Vipress marched onwards.
Grobta, in the meantime, almost dropped a plank on his face, watching Vipress leave. Rainmaker chopped him on the head for that one.
With every task squared away, Argent felt more and more antsy to get to the library and hopefully find something related to Being A — and more importantly, find the peace and quiet required for her task. She could hardly think with the chaos that surrounded the citizens of Carneville, let alone cross-reference esoteric literature.
Thankfully, the next item on the docket was the last of them all: fireworks. A staple in any countryside festival, but nobody would be heartbroken if they happened to be canceled. Which, even then, was unlikely, given there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The technician happened to live on the outskirts of town, which was logical enough for a pyrotechnics expert.
Although, as she trotted down the winding dirt path, she had to wonder if maybe this person should live closer to the fire department… or any civilization at all. Were they a recluse of sorts? Well, it would at least be a break from the hustle and bustle she'd had to stomach.
And then a searing heat washed over her body as she reflexively put up a defensive shield over herself and Vipress, upping it with heat resistance once she realized it was dragon fire.
Mind whirling into combat mode, Argent Silver began levitating herself as she and Vipress took to the skies, magic missiles at the tip of her horn. Vipress snarled and covered Argent's rear, falling into a familiar flying formation that was more at home overseas than in Equestria.
Once the smoke cleared, an emerald dragon — not as large as the one on Rainmaker's team, but far larger than Vipress — revealed itself, wings unfurled and serpentine eyes burning with protective fury.
"Who goes there?! What are you doing on our territory?"
"Soldiers of the Overlord." The Devil of Rhine stated, ice seeping into her tone, "stand down or be killed. I'm sure homeland security wouldn't mind the mess."
"You dare threaten me, the great Torrent?! Little pony, I'll make sure that your very soul is thoroughly disintegrated by the time —"
"Torrent."
A chiding voice called out from behind the emerald dragon, and the drake in question balked with a "meep!" before almost comically scuttling away from the main path and revealing the source of the voice in question.
An unassuming earth pony, with a white coat and her salmon-red mane tied into a loose ponytail, pushed up her glasses to glare at the great and powerful Torrent. She was the type of pony that Argent wouldn't even consider on the streets of Nazalot… except for the fact that she just scolded and talked down a dragon. Behind her, a smaller white dragon, about the size of a buffalo, trailed behind, rubbing the grog from her eyes cutely.
"You woke up Kathode, and now she's hungry."
"Eh?! But it's your turn to —"
"She's your kid when you wake her up."
"Aw… this isn't over, little pony!"
The thoroughly-whipped dragon pointed an accusatory finger at Argent before flying off to the distant forest, presumed daughter in tow, who could only stare flabbergasted at the unbelievably domestic display in front of her. Vipress at least took the empathetic route.
"You have a lovely child. We didn't mean to set off your wife like that, though…"
The mare in front of her sighed.
"Sorry, Torrent's just like that. Usually she's at least civilized, but she's been insisting that the waters of life and death are becoming troubled — whatever that means — and she hasn't been getting good sleep because of it."
Alarm bells went off in Argent Silver's head. So her theory had evidence! …Granted, backed by an elder dragon who tried to kill her moments earlier, but the fact that her evidence came from an entirely independent source only further confirmed her suspicions.
Not wanting to come off as a rambling lunatic, though, Argent pressed onwards.
"Do keep her better in check. I shudder to think of what would happen if I didn't react in time… For the sake of brevity, I'll let bygones be bygones. Are you the pyrotechnician in charge of the fireworks for Otherworld Day?"
"Kinda. I'm Code Break. The town asked if my wife and kid could supply a fireworks show, so I did it in exchange for a raise."
Once more, another shrewd-minded individual. Was the population a binary between jaded ponies and eccentrics?
"What's your usual job?"
"Oh, rune-coding and runemaking. My Cutie Mark, see."
Code Break showed off her flank — a Cutie Mark of a mountain with four runes carved onto its side.
"Interesting… it's almost as if your Cutie Mark knew who your wife was going to be," Vipress remarked, making the connection between dragons and their mountain homes. Although Argent didn't put much stock into the fatalistic theories involving Cutie Marks, actual prescience was a known phenomenon, albeit extremely rare.
"I just figured it's because I'm hard-headed. Did you want to stay for tea? I can ask Torrent and Kathode to show off the display, if you need a beta test, so to speak."
"I'm afraid I have other matters to attend to. I just wanted to check that the fireworks would be ready to go, but if they won't be back soon, then it can wait. How long do they usually take?"
Yet again, another explosion boomed in the distance — this time, from fire breath colliding with lightning break as two distant figures battled in the sky. If explosions were a regular occurrence in Carneville, Argent Silver may have to put this place on a watchlist… Code Break just sighed, tapping her hoof.
"They just started playing, so pretty long. Well, I'll let you know if there are any developments."
That was their idea of playing? It sounded like war out there. Nevertheless, Argent dismissed herself and thanked the stars that Code Break was there. To think, there was one sane pony in this town, and she didn't even live in the village proper…
Finally, finally, Argent Silver was able to reach the Silver Wings Library. Jogging around Carneville in the dead heat was a chore, especially considering she still had to uncover the secrets revolving around Being A. Even Vipress was looking a little put out. Luckily, she still had plenty of physical energy left, so hopefully she could study well into the night without interruption.
The Silver Wings Library was a decommissioned barracks, repurposed into a three-floor library. Its marble walls, gothic towers, and oaken foundations reminded Argent of her own hometown of Berun. Albeit, less the orphanage that she'd grown up in, more the government buildings that she'd found work in when she was younger.
Finally setting foot in her temporary abode, Argent breathed a sigh of relief and —
It seemed it was tradition to host a surprise party for any affluent newcomers to Carneville. Judging by the subtle opulence in the crowd's mannerisms and dress, Argent Silver immediately understood that this was a litmus test to see if you could survive the local nobility.
…As well as the local crazies.
"Sorry, I never formally introduced myself. I'm Heartstopper! And these are my best friends Princefire and his brother Princewaltz, my stepbrother Hearthbreaker, my other best friends Dreamy Nights and White Nights — they're also siblings! — Miss Green Thumb, she thinks you smell funny — and the absolute best baker I've ever met, Light Touch! Of course, they aren't my only friends, but they're the ones who could make it tonight."
The unicorn could barely register the names of the, frankly, unbelievably attractive group of ponies she was being introduced to all at once. Some of them stood out to her — the Prince family owned a sizable amount of land and had sway in local government, if her research of Carneville was accurate, and the Nights family was associated with them — but the sudden barrage of ponies and Heartstopper's endless banter forced Argent into autopilot. A little concerning, considering she's traversed active warzones without being forced into autopilot.
A handshake here, a "hello, nice to meet you" there, a trained polite smile and an acceptance of an offered drink everywhere else… It was like suffering a Nazalot Gala, but without the stark presence of her Overlord. Which meant that Argent was going to have to interact with everypony who approached.
Thankfully, Vipress was a true blessing and managed to corral half of the conversations towards her, leaving Argent with a more manageable audience. Still, she would be relying on her military-borne ability to schmooze through public relations.
"And what's your story, Heartstopper?" Argent prodded, swirling a drink with her magic. "Surely you didn't stumble into such prestigious company."
"Eheh… Funny, that! Well, I was showing Princefire around our estate's garden, and then suddenly, I tripped on my own two feet, and —"
Apparently, Heartstopper did trip and fall into the upper echelon of Carneville's landowners. She had a leg up, her own family owning the local rock farms, but her actual friendships were forged through a series of strange events involving tree climbing, the Magic Academy for Gifted Equines (how an earth pony like Heartstopper got into MAGE, Argent will never know), and a pirate ship. Heartstopper herself worked as a federal investigator for magical misuse, which is the furthest thing from what Argent thought of the excitable mare.
The entire time, though, Argent held down the urge to bolt to her living quarters and slam the door shut until everypony went away. Her literature was sitting in the corner of her room, still begging to be read. She started to grit her teeth every time she smiled. Did she fail her Overlord's test? Was a surprise party, of all things, the one thing stopping her from unfurling this mystery?
Hm… come to think of it… Heartstopper may be a mastermind in secret. However, she let it slip that she worked for the federal government — within their Overlord's own chain of command, even, which brought all the puzzle pieces together. So if her Overlord knew that Argent would survive actual combat, then he immediately attacked her weakness in social situations…
A terrifyingly simple yet effective approach. As expected of her Overlord.
With a newfound respect for Heartstopper, Argent cleared her throat, making the earth pony blink as she stopped talking about how much she liked to farm rocks to commune with the earth.
"I'm so very grateful for the impromptu get-together," Argent Silver bowed, before sighing melodramatically, "but I'm afraid our Overlord expects much from tomorrow. I'll be retiring early, but feel free to continue the festivities without me."
She offered a hoof to Heartstopper, conceding to the mare's cunning strategy.
"It's been a pleasure."
Heartstopper took Argent's hoof, but didn't shake it — instead, she held it with both her hooves, her blue eyes piercing into Argent Silver's own. Her big, heartwarming, sparkling azure eyes…
"The pleasure is all mine," and oh, that smile, that thrice-damned smile, "I'm sure Otherworld Day will be glorious, Miss Argent."
…
Trip and fall, indeed.
Ahem.
Otherworld Day: a national holiday, wherein the nation mourned the dead and simultaneously wished them well as their souls reincarnated into another life.
Thankfully, everything went according to plan. Rainmaker's team was able to complete the festival grounds in time, and by the time the evening approached, there were carnival games and food stalls abound as Carneville celebrated. Familiar faces were abound, with Heartstopper stopping by to say hello before being manehandled by her friend group, and Code Break checking in to see if she was doing fine. She even spotted Keepaway possibly having fun. Possibly.
Appreciative of the downtime, Argent Silver participated in some games herself. The shooting gallery netted her an easy prize (a Death Knight plushie that she gave to Vipress), but the ring toss was, naturally, rigged. Most of her time was spent playing catch-up on the available texts on Being A and the Elements of Harmony, however. Work before play, after all.
The original Elements were used by their Overlord and the forty Supreme Equines, their names and history now lost to time and purposefully censored by the throne as a protective measure. After their last usage, they were scattered throughout the realm, and a do-not-search order was issued.
Sightings were documented, but it seemed they grew more sparse as the centuries went on. Most equinologists seemed to agree that it would be impossible for all forty-one Elements to still be intact by the modern day if left to the wilderness, so the leading theory was that their Overlord likely knew something about their whereabouts.
Still, the lead from her Overlord indicated that there was some possibility that they could be used — and that he expected her to find them. And…
The main stage lit up, and a great hush fell over the audience. Ah. It was starting. The spokespony acknowledged the venue-goers and the sponsors cheerily before getting to the main event.
"And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who rules over the heavens and the earth, the powerful, the invincible, the most wonderful emperor of all Equestria…"
The curtains opened, and encased in a sickly-blue crystal was their Overlord's frozen body.
Argent Silver's heart sank. You could hear a pin drop. She looked over all the details of the skeleton alicorn. The stature, the shoulder horns, down to every last ring on his bony wings, it was him. And the legendary artifact in his stomach…
Gone.
"Oh, my devout apostles… It's been so long since I've seen a congregation of this size."
A runic circle erupted from the main stage's floor, and a pillar of blue light arose before a different alicorn stepped out from the magic. A pure white coat, with a watery mane that was almost like crashing waves, robes like that of an archpriest…
And a halo and six billowing wings.
The crowd gasped. Somepony fainted.
"Oh? Too enamored by how divine I am? Ara ara, does anyone even remember the name of their goddess after a thousand years of purifying the rivers of reincarnation?"
"Sounds like a pretty useless goddess to me, if nobody remembers you," Keepaway snorted, "Hey, there's one. Useless Goddess. Goddess of Party Tricks? Goddess of Drama?"
"Tch," the alicorn swished her horn, and Keepaway yelped as he was suddenly trapped in a circle of silencing runes, "Much better. Any other guesses?"
"Being A," Argent Silver growled, her eyes turning into pinpricks. Her horn lit up with explosive spells, ready to take down the greatest threat to Equestria to date.
"Hmph. So Whiny Rhiny decided to use that cringeworthy name. Talk about bad taste."
Rolling her eyes, Being A suddenly erupted in a surge of magic, sending an explosion of energy out from her body. The spell was immediate, such that Argent could barely even react to it. Her first explosion spell rocketed through the air, but the magic missile stopped just short of Being A's snout.
She pushed the missile away haphazardly, and all Argent could do was watch from within frozen time.
Being A had temporally stopped absolutely everything within the area. It was the single most potent use of time magic she'd ever seen, second only to her Overlord's own. Argent even spotted Code Break's wife and child — Torrent and Kathode — firing off their draconic breaths, but even their respective fire and lightning stopped just short of Being A.
The cursed creature, damn her, just yawned and stretched in the grayed-out world of stopped time.
"Haa… I finally get to give something other than the usual "you died, pick where to go" speech. I'll make this good."
She lifted a hoof with the most despicable grin that Argent had ever seen, preening, extending her wingspan to show off her misbegotten power.
"I am Axis Order! The goddess of the afterlife! And now… goddess of the heavens and earth. You shall be freed from the evil clutches of the undead usurper, Rhine Allgone, and his unholy kingdom! And my blessings shall be upon this world… FOREVER!"
Maniacal laughter was all that the unicorn heard before time resumed — and her body was flung to the ground, and the world faded to black.
"Harmony, Harmony, Harmony…"
Argent Silver had made a mad dash back to the Silver Wings Library, frantically tearing through bookshelf after bookshelf to try and find anything at all that would shed light on the superweapon that defeated a monster of Being A's caliber.
Overwhelmed, overpowered, and outmatched in barely a moment… is this how enemies of their Overlord felt, during the war? Argent Silver was fully aware that Equestria had the luxury of a modern military and an unparalleled logistics train, as well as the raw resources and marepower to back it up… but to be on the opposite end of such a monstrous strength?
It made her want to dash her medals on the ground.
Argent was pulled out of her self-loathing stupor, however, by the sound of Vipress and galloping hooves. This had better be good, if it got her adjutant to directly disobey orders during an active skirmish with an unknown force.
"Major! I know you said not to let anypony disturb you until you found what you needed, but —"
"I know where the book is! The Elements of Harmony, right?! You need to know where they are?"
Once more, Argent was shocked into silence as she assessed the pegasus gasping for air in front of her. Her initial doubts about Zero Regret returned at full force, since he seemed to know about her personal business and now, the solutions for said business, before even she did.
A spy. A double agent. A cultist. Slowly putting down the useless book she was holding, Argent stood up straight to meet his eyes.
"How did you know…?"
"That…!" Zero begun, before seething and pressing a hoof to his chest, "...It isn't important. What's important is that there's only one in this library. It's under the E section, but it's wedged between the bookshelves."
Well. If he was trying to waste her time, it was a sorry attempt at doing so. She had no choice but to follow his lead: it was the only one she had. Running over to the banisters overseeing the library, Argent leapt from the third floor, levitating herself to slow her fall as she descended to the first floor.
Just as he said, a dusty, ragged spellbook titled Elementum Harmonia Referendum sat wedged between two old bookshelves. Yanking it from its place, she waved away the ensuing plume of dust as she tore it open and scoured its contents.
"Er, one of my closest friends was the previous librarian…" Zero Regret said, clearing his throat as he descended, wings flapping. "She used to whine about how this book was impossible to decipher, and the only spell she got from it was a scrying spell. "So even the ancients wrote useless things, I suppose!" was what she said…"
"And I'm assuming she never made the connection between the spell and the Elements of Harmony," Argent concluded, skipping over the esoteric theorycrafting and getting to the actual spell instructions. A mental incantation and a movement was all it took.
Performing the actions, Argent Silver's eyes widened as golden letters filled the book, in text that was plain for just about anypony to read.
ERROR: ELEMENT OF PASSION NO LONGER EXISTS.
ERROR: ELEMENT OF DETERMINATION NO LONGER EXISTS.
ERROR: ELEMENT OF SOLACE NO LONGER EXISTS.
ERROR…
Argent flipped through the pages rapidly. By her count, there were thirty-five error messages stating that some element or other didn't exist. She flipped frantically to the very last page with bated breath.
ELEMENT OF MAGIC DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF HONESTY FOUND.
ELEMENT OF KINDNESS FOUND.
ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER FOUND.
ELEMENT OF GENEROSITY FOUND.
ELEMENT OF LOYALTY FOUND.
LOCATION OF KNOWN ELEMENTS:
TOMB OF NAZALOT…
"...Everfree Forest?!"
Heartstopper exclaimed, putting both hooves to her cheeks in shock. Keepaway winced, muttering about her being too loud, while Zero Regret looked pensive.
"Yeah. I've flown overhead before, and I remember seeing an old building. It's probably that one."
Rainmaker hummed, tapping their hoof to their chin in thought.
"I think I remember something like that too. Sometimes our team heads in there to gather materials, since bark there grows faster than normal Equestrian trees, but I made sure they never went too deep."
"Hence why I need your help getting there." Argent sighed. "I'm the last pony to want to put civilian lives in danger, but I'm inexperienced in the conditions of the Everfree, as it were."
In truth, Argent Silver was lying through her teeth. Self-cycling nature was the norm anywhere that ponykind weren't — including all the enemy territory that she'd traveled through during the war. A wild forest was hardly anything to balk about.
No, her main issue lied in the fact that there were five, possibly six Elements of Harmony all stored in one location, and anypony could make the connection between the number of Elements and the number of wielders. She needed five other ponies to make the trek with her, and the ponies here were the only ones she acknowledged as vaguely competent in this insane town.
She'd ask Vipress to come, but… the Supreme Equines were equines, and Argent wasn't going to take any chances with wordplay.
Still, she had some heart left in her.
"I won't hold it against you if you decide to reject my plea for help. Vipress has already secured a perimeter around Carneville with Code Break's family and the Adventurer's Guild, so you'll be safe if you stay in town. You'll be holed up in a house praying for our Overlord to break out of his prison, but you'll be safe."
Argent Silver's eyes narrowed, and her voice took on a tone that was worthy of the title "Devil of Rhine".
"But if you come with me, I can't guarantee your safety. In fact, I promise there will be mortal peril. This will be a march across an unknown battlefield to face off against an immortal monster, for the potential chance that there will be a magical superweapon that can defeat her. Our only lead is a dusty old tome, we have no clue what awaits us, and if we fail, our souls fall into the hooves of the mare trying to kill us."
A silence loomed, and Argent steeled herself for a five-way rejection. She was already going through other candidates in her mind. Princefire? Luna? That Megaflare sounded like she had a strong explosion spell…
Then, of all the ponies, Code Break stepped forward. The earth pony who was only in this group because Argent knew she lived near the Everfree and had the gall to marry a fully grown dragon.
"...You know, if you say it like that, there's literally no way we would refuse, right?"
Argent blinked.
"Eh?"
"Obviously! We'll totally be the heroes of the day!" Zero Regret smirked.
"Well, I'm up for saving the world as much as anypony else." Rainmaker shrugged, with a what-can-you-do expression.
"With an actually decent party? And our Overlord'll probably compensate me for the biggest monster kill ever? …I've survived worse. Free cider forever, here I come!" Keepaway hummed, already trotting in the direction of the Everfree.
"Eh? Eh?"
"Woo, it's adventure time! This is like one of my choose your own adventure novels! Oh, I hope I don't reach a bad end."
"Bad end? Forget that, I hope Keepaway's right about that free cider thing…" Code Break grumbled.
Argent Silver shook herself out of her stupor, turning around to see the other five ponies already entering the forest.
She was lucky they never enlisted. Knowing the brass, they'd send these battle maniacs straight to her battalion, postcard and everything!
The road to the Tomb of Nazalot was a lot of hiking. The distant sound of howling and bird cries echoed through the jungle, and every so often, some wild animal would flutter or skitter through the treeline. Curious eyes watched the herd of ponies from between the leaves — but they'd disappear just as quickly, if you didn't look hard enough.
Thankfully, her entourage didn't seem entirely demoralized by their first introduction to self-cycling ecosystems. By far, Heartstopper was the most easily spooked by the wildlife, probably more experienced with urban espionage than army marching, but she had enough steel in her to keep going.
Then, when the path diverged, a blue light erupted in the middle of the crossroads. Fearing Being A's retaliation, Argent casted a group-sized barrier spell — before two earth ponies stepped out from the light. Both had brown coats, blonde manes, and heterochromatic eyes. One seemed more masculine, and the other seemed more feminine, but they both seemed fairly androgynous.
"Er, h-hello… We're the guardians of this path… Ah, that is to say…"
"Hey! C'mon, do the introduction properly!"
"Ah, sorry, sis…!"
Argent raised an eyebrow as the two ponies bowed simultaneously, before suddenly speaking in full synchronization.
"We are Marelion and Aurelion, of the Tomb of Nazalot. One path leads to death, and the other leads to harmony. To choose the correct path, answer our riddle of truth."
"And if we don't?" Zero Regret asked.
Both of them smiled at the same time, almost mechanically. And then, suddenly, the noise of the jungle… stopped. No more howling, no more birds. Even the smallest rustling of the leaves stopped. Argent looked to a nearby branch, and saw a gecko staring right at her. Then, she looked to another tree, and saw an owl… also staring right at her.
No choice but to answer, then, if they didn't want to raze the forest down in their wake.
"Fine. We'll play. What's your riddle?"
And just like that, the Everfree erupted into noise once more.
"Y-You may only ask us a single question."
"One of us will answer with the truth!"
"And the o-other will answer with a lie."
"Choose your question wisely."
Argent Silver furrowed her brows as she considered the riddle. Only one question… The obviously wrong answer would be to ask which is the path that leads to harmony, but then they would point to different paths. Asking a question to verify which one was the truth-teller would waste the question.
Before she could ponder any further, Keepaway had trotted to the leftmost path, in front of Aurelion, and crossed his hooves.
"Which path would the other sibling say is the right one?"
Aurelion pointed to the rightmost path.
Marelion pointed to the rightmost path.
"Right, we're going this way."
Heading down the path, Keepaway started budging past Aurelion and Marelion, who reeled back in shock at his absolute nonchalance at this matter.
"E-Eh? But we thought so hard about this riddle…"
"Did you? Or did you steal it from the riddle book at your elementary school?"
The siblings reeled back as Keepaway got in their face, a look of disdain etched into every line on his muzzle. Argent Silver could already tell an angry rant was coming.
"Because I've heard this one a billion times from every other Overlord-damned "trickster creature" that I've had to deal with, and I've been attacked by too many of them to forget the answer. Honestly, come up with more original material? At least talk about the mare with four legs in the morning and two at night. Or, better yet, get out of our way!"
Marelion started tearing up. Aurelion put a comforting leg around Marelion's neck, giving Keepaway a dirty look.
"Marelion, it's okay, we can use that one next time… when there isn't a complete manure pile to ruin it! Let's just go home…"
Dejectedly, the two guardian siblings disappeared in a flash of blue, and the rest of the group gave Keepaway a similar uncomfortable look. Even Argent had the decency to look at least a little embarrassed by the social faux-pas. Despite all this, the green unicorn scowled and doubled down on his convictions.
"We are literally saving the world. If you think I'm going to let some jumped up foals waste our precious time for the sake of being nice, you clearly don't know me. Now let's go."
…Well. She could appreciate the sheer pragmatism, at least.
Continuing onwards at a standard pace, Argent Silver narrowed her eyes as she considered the implications of Marelion and Aurelion. "Of the Tomb of Nazalot"...? Either they were working directly for Being A, or they were a security measure for the actual Elements of Harmony. In any case, they were obstacles. Annoyingly childish ones, but the implications of their power…
The six ponies found themselves at the edge of a quiet river when Argent's barrel was suddenly burdened with a great weight. She didn't feel anything pressing down on her, though, but she gritted her teeth as she struggled against the pressure. Was this another trial…?
Trying to fire up a levitation spell to release herself from the sudden gravity, Argent Silver could feel the magic in her horn sputtering out. Even Zero Regret and Rainmaker seemed to have their wings clipped and shivering uncontrollably from the sheer force of it all. The other ponies weren't faring any better — Keepaway and Heartstopper were holding each other and blabbering about how they were too young to die, and Code Break was muttering silent apologies to a wife she was about to leave widowed.
From the depths of the river, a great evil arose, its glowing eyes boring down into Argent's soul. Its body seemed to stretch until the horizon, and the sky itself seemed to part in fear of this monster's presence. Argent's fight-or-flight reaction roared to life, and she attempted to instead aim an artillery spell at the horror — but once more, her magic sputtered, only rendering her even more useless.
"Wh-What…?"
"Hm. Your entire party hasn't fainted from my killing intent alone… That, in itself, is commendable. I believe an introduction is in order."
Then, the unspeakable being reeled back an appendage — An arm? A fist? — and the pressure increased tenfold. Attempting multiple shield spells and feeling them all die out, Argent Silver was certain she was about to die here, more certain than during any dogfight she'd survived. The air was like the cold deadness of the sky, glacial to the point where it struck to her very bones.
"My name is Sebas Magnus, of the Tomb of Nazalot. Die."
The evil struck almost in slow motion, a creeping death approaching inevitably. Argent closed her eyes, wishing she hadn't failed to stop the cursed Being A —
"No!"
Zero Regret stood in front of the group, wings totally unfurled, hooves wide open as if to defend them. The entirety of the party's eyes snapped open to regard the young stallion sacrificing himself in the face of absolute destruction, panting heavily but staring it down with a fierce glare.
"Not this time! We made a promise to fix this. I made a promise to come back… but if it means everyone else is safe, then I can suffer one more time." Zero Regret's head snapped back to the group, fire blazing in his pinprick eyes. "Run while you can, I'll hold off this thing for as long as I still live!"
That snapped everypony out of it. The five of them stared at Zero Regret, his barrel heaving from the primal fear coursing through his veins. And in front of him, with a gargantuan fist only inches from his muzzle…
A black sea serpent with neat white hair and a perfectly trimmed beard nodded in satisfaction, retracting his arm. So, this was a trial. Anti-magic along with a powerful fear effect? She'd never heard of "killing intent", much less its ability to completely shut down a pony's ability to think and function rationally. The Everfree was a strange place, indeed.
"Young pony, you're quite impressive," the sea serpent folded his arms behind him, "what's your name?"
The group fell silent. Heartstopper pushed Zero forward, the pegasus visibly flabbergasted.
"Zero Regret, sir," he gulped, skipping his ridiculous introduction.
"A pleasure, Zero Regret. Your name reflects well on your convictions. I shall consider this trial thoroughly passed. I wish you and your party luck in your endeavors."
The sea serpent bowed politely, before swimming gracefully down the river and disappearing in a flash of blue once he was out of sight. The group looked at Zero with a newfound respect, Argent included. Facing death was something she did plenty of times, but that amount of self-sacrifice for the sake of the objective… well.
He'd have made for a fine soldier.
Logistically speaking, it wasn't looking good for Argent Silver's operation. She was practically escorting five unwitting citizens in the dead of night through enemy territory, and from what she'd witnessed, the countermeasures stationed at the Tomb of Nazalot were far stronger than her, but likely less strong than Being A. The only thing stopping this from being a suicide mission was the fact that the countermeasures acted more as litmus tests of worthiness rather than actual guards.
That, and Being A's sudden disappearance after her grand entrance.
Keeping an eye out for the next possible trial, Argent, Zero, and Rainmaker all decided to fly up and scout the path leading to the Tomb. Concentrating as she maintained her flight spell and casted a vision spell to check the surroundings, Argent Silver's eyes landed on a strange mire in the middle of an otherwise temperate forest. It seemed like it had rained recently, even though the evening sky was relatively clear.
"That seems suspicious," Argent grunted, turning off the vision spell, "I'm going to go investigate. Rainmaker, stay behind me and be ready to flee and regroup if anything happens. Zero, go relay this to the others."
"Got it, boss," the darker pegasus saluted, before flying back to the ground.
Rainmaker and Argent flew forward, Rainmaker grabbing a piece of cloud to use as a self-defense weapon. After some silent flying, the blue pegasus decided to make a comment.
"You can't afford to have him martyr himself if another fight breaks out," Rainmaker guessed, after a pause.
"Self-sacrifice is nice and all, but I'd rather have someone willing to stay in position."
"Kinda cold."
"I'm not exactly rainbows and butterflies."
They landed. The immediate first thing that Argent Silver noticed is the climate. Whereas the rest of the landscape had a dry heat of a summer's night, the mire was emphatically hot and humid. The second thing was that when she stepped in a puddle, she pulled back her hoof with a hiss. It was uncomfortably hot. Not quite scalding, but enough to steam.
The third thing was the giant, crystalline insectoid slumped in the center of it all.
It was barely holding itself up, using a broken halberd made of ice as a crutch. His exoskeleton seemed to be melting off of his skin, chunks of crystal having sloughed off of his carapace.
Fearing another trial, Argent Silver readied a shield spell and an explosive spell, aimed at the insect. Following her lead, Rainmaker formed the cloud into a stormy, thundering mass. Lightning bolts were a familiar tool for pegasi, so it was good to see that Rainmaker knew the technique.
"Who are you? State your name."
The insect hacked and coughed, attempting to stand up straight as it registered the two ponies in front of it. It barely succeeded. Every breath left it shuddering, a cold mist escaping its mandibles.
"I. Am. Coldcytus. Of. The. Tomb. Of. Nazalot."
The voice was masculine, and also severely strained. He attempted to raise his frozen weapon, but stumbled on a leg as a result.
"Face. My. Trial."
"What happened to you?" Rainmaker asked, lowering the cloud in their hoof, "Did somepony attack you?"
"It. Matters. Not. I. Shall. Not. Fail. Again."
So, a yes. And if Being A was as associated with water and rivers as Argent was led to believe, then the steaming mire made much more sense. And was far more alarming than the broken-down guardian making his last stand in front of her.
"I'm assuming, based on your name, that ice and fire don't do much to you…" Argent surmised, before raising her horn to Coldcytus, "But you failed to account for boiling rain."
Coldcytus said nothing. He simply exhaled more mist. Rainmaker trotted between both him and Argent. What was with ponies doing that? Didn't they know the meaning of crossfire?
"You're hurt," Rainmaker said with concern, before approaching Coldcytus, hooves already molding the thundercloud into something more chilly, "here, hold this cloud and just wait, okay?"
"What…?" The insect said unwittingly, before a snowy cloud was thrust into his lower set of arms. Rainmaker zipped around, gathering every cloud he could out of the sparse sky, until the weather was as clear as it could possibly be.
Coldcytus, on the other hand, was surrounded in a freezing fog, at a temperature that would freeze water if you flung a bottle of it into the air. The insectoid lowered his weapon, looking at Rainmaker warily.
"Why. Would. You. Help. Me?"
"Same reason I helped the dragons and the griffons and the diamond dogs, I guess," Rainmaker shrugged, before crafting a blanket made of icy mist and laying it around Coldcytus's giant pauldron shoulders, "because I can."
Coldcytus fell silent, fingers clenching around his halberd. Rainmaker, noticing this, put a hoof on his head.
"And, for the record, I don't think you're a failure. Or a disgrace. I've seen too many ponies think that of themselves. You did your best. What matters most is living another day to do better. So get some rest, okay?"
The pegasus smiled at the insect, and Coldcytus finally seemed to calm down, his body going slack as a huge burst of mist escaped his body.
"I. Thank. You…"
Settling into a seat, Coldcytus laid his weapon down and seemingly fell asleep. It was hard to tell for insect species like his, but Argent Silver was relatively certain that he was asleep.
The rest of the group decided to arrive by then, as Rainmaker patted Coldcytus on the back and regrouped.
"Woah, did you beat another trial?" Heartstopper asked, looking over Argent's shoulder to see the dozing guardian.
"In a way," Argent muttered, keeping tally of the Elements of Harmony. Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity…
Her thoughts were cut off by the approaching sunrise, the illuminating heavens a bad omen of things to come.
"Being A's onto the Elements. We're running out of time."
A dark-coated figure with a pale mane stood in the middle of a crater in the woods. In terms of body size and shape, any other pony would assume it was a pegasus, an adult, albeit closer to the size of a filly than a mare. However, the imposing crimson armor, the gigantic wingspan, and the deadly lance clasped in her teeth indicated that this pony was anything but ordinary.
It didn't seem like the mare noticed the adventuring party at the edge of the crater — or, perhaps, she wasn't in the right mind to notice them. As far as Argent Silver could tell, the mare's glowing crimson eyes were open, but seemed to stare into nothing. As though she wasn't… activated, in a sense.
Well. She won't turn down ample time to prepare.
"Everypony, halt formation. Looks like another trial…" Argent cast her binocular spell, watching looking at the center of the crater. The main entrance of the Tomb of Nazalot… And, from what she could see of the underground mausoleum, the only entrance. "...One we can't avoid."
Rainmaker grabbed another cloud out of the sparse sky, and Keepaway's horn lit up as he unsheathed his sword and readied his bow. Argent's horn began to glow with a prepared defensive shell spell. The ponies without weapons — Zero Regret, Code Break, and Heartstopper — herded together behind the prepared combatants as they descended the crater's slope.
After the last few trials, Argent Silver decided to at least invest in a general game plan based on their previous encounters. Being caught unaware twice in a row was a low point in her career, certainly. And if she could suss out how to dispense the remaining three Elements, even better.
She could only hope this trial was more of a test of wit or bravery like the first two, and not devastating combat like she presumed Coldcytus's trial was. Two-out-of-three odds wasn't great, but it was a bet she was forced to take.
It was a bet she would lose, as with one more step forward, the mare's attention suddenly shot to Argent, and in a flash, her spear was bearing down on Argent Silver's shield.
"Combat Team, with me! Stall until the civilians get into the Tomb! The rest of you, start galloping!" Argent roared out her orders, gritting her teeth as her shield started cracking under unbelievable pressure.
"Yipe! Code Break, c'mon!"
"I'm going, I'm going!"
Zero Regret and Code Break were first to make a run for it, with Zero Regret picking up the more sedentary rune-coder and hauling her to the Tomb. Argent levitated herself into the air and rained precision artillery spells on the mystery trial pegasus. Blade, arrows, and lightning did their best to keep the pegasus's attention away from the civilians.
"Snipe! Snipe! Snipe!" Keepaway chirped with every arrow shot, weaving his ranged fire with the strikes of his floating sword.
"Do you have to call out all your attack names?" Rainmaker raised an eyebrow, kicking out another lightning bolt.
"Keep my Overlord-damned comms clean!" Argent growled, currently taking the brunt of the trial's attention, the spear just barely missing her barrel by a few inches.
Heartstopper was the more athletic of the two earth ponies, and so volunteered to be the one to dead sprint if things got messy. Admittedly, she was doing a fairly good job of running away, even as she screamed bloody murder while soil exploded around her from each stray bolt and spell.
"Einherjar!"
And then the pegasus cloned itself.
Her original opponent vanished, a flurry of white feathers distracting Argent for a split second. A marble-white copy of the pegasus now faced Argent Silver, with just as much lethality as the real one. Daring to look behind her, the war unicorn paled as she realized the real copy was hot on Heartstopper's tracks.
Trying to disengage from the imitation, Argent now found herself being tailed by a much faster flier, and had to dodge lance strikes from behind. Awful position, but she needed all five civilians alive, damn it! At least she didn't see Zero Regret and Code Break, meaning they probably made it into the Tomb.
The trial pony was quickly gaining on Heartstopper, her shadow almost eclipsing the earth pony's hooves. Argent cursed, starting to lower her altitude in case she needed to drop her levitation for a teleport instead. She hated the accursed feeling, and flying was much more her forte, but it would only be moments before she had a dead friend on her hands.
"Waitwaitwait!"
And then, making Argent's heart stop, Heartstopper ardently started waving her front hooves in surrender, halting in her tracks. Damn it, pony, did you not want to live?!
The pegasus also stopped in complete confusion. Argent would try to pay more attention if there wasn't a nigh-invincible warrior clone trying to skewer her backside currently.
"What's your name?"
"...Whuh?"
"Your name? Y'know, every other guardian has introduced themselves. I figured I'd at least try for a name before you make Heartstop kebab. Oooh, actually, can I guess?"
Argent blanched at the strange interaction. The moment of distraction nearly cost the unicorn her life, if Keepaway's sword didn't parry the clone's lance, and Rainmaker didn't send a powerful gale of wind to blow the clone off-course immediately after. Shaking her head, the unicorn decided it would be listening-only until this damn clone was dead. A shield spell erupted in front of her as the battle continued.
"Is it… Lance Ace? Red Baron? Crimson Cloak?"
"Er…"
"No, no, no! Wait, every other guardian had a weird, cool name. Maybe… Blooddrinker! Spearatron! Pegablaster! Scarletificus! Oooooh!"
"That first one's actually pretty close — wait, you're just distracting me!"
"Well, I mostly wanted to figure out if you were willing to talk, or if you were just some mindless killing machine. Or brainwashed! I bet Being A could brainwash ponies. I'd hate to be brainwashed, mhm. Now, a coma, I could do. It'd be like a long, relaxing nap…"
"What?! How would a coma be better? All your responsibilities! Not to mention losing all your precious people! What, are you just going to abandon them?"
"Nuh-uh, I'd just be asleep. I mean, it'd be kind of creepy, but I'd be fine with them visiting me in bed. Er, I hope it's one of those magical stasis comas, though. I'd hate to have a bedpan, that's gross."
"Still, it wouldn't be you. It would still be abandoning them! You'd still be gone to whatever fantasy land dream you'd want, while everyone who loved you suffered!"
"Ooooh. I get it. Is this the trial of therapy? Well, combat therapy, I guess."
"What?! No! I'm Blood Fallen, of the Tomb of Nazalot! I don't need therapy!"
"Eyyyy. Got your name!"
The fighting ceased. Even the clone stopped attacking, its spearpoint once more bearing down on Argent's shield, while Keepaway's sword paused mid-whapping its armor. Rainmaker looked between Argent and Blood Fallen, concerned.
Blood Fallen barely held back a snicker. Which turned into a chortle, which turned into full-blown maniacal laughter. It was impressive. Rainmaker seemed tempted to make thunder and lightning roar in the distance, it was that impressive. Argent herself had laughed like that a few times, she could understand how cathartic it was.
"...So you did," Blood Fallen sighed, finally coming down from her manic high, "You intrigue me, earth pony. I would add you to my list of concubines, if I still had the power."
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment. And I'm Heartstopper, nice to meet you!"
The two shook hooves, and Argent signaled for the Combat Team to disengage, seeing as the clone had flown over to Blood Fallen, probably to reunite with its maker. Rainmaker and Keepaway shuffled off to the Tomb, with Keepaway making his usual snarky comment about how stupid that entire fight was.
"Heartstopper!" Argent called out, nonplussed, "Once you're done… socializing, the rest of the party will be in the Tomb. Join us when you can."
"Got it! Oh, Fallen, you've gotta tell me how you get such a pretty long mane. It's gotta be the prettiest of all the guardians!"
"Hah! Yes, yes, I suppose it is quite lovely. Much lovelier than that lamprey's. Anyways…"
Dismissing herself from the mare talk, Argent shook her head and galloped off to make sure Zero Regret and Code Break were still alive.
As it turns out, they were. More than that, another member of her party had befriended a guardian.
Argent supposed it wasn't in the cards to actually kill one of these unknown threats. It was a bit disappointing. A horrible loss in both historical resources and working bodies, yes, but she'd faced the fear of death so many times over the last few hours that she felt justified in wanting a bit of blood.
"This is Albedo Soul," Code Break sighed, "of the Tomb of Nazarick, as you can tell. Looks like Being A got here first, so we decided to camp out near the entrance until everyone was here."
The guardian in question was an earth pony — well, it would be more accurate to say earth horse. An absolute clydesdale of a mare, she had a white coat and a long, lustrous black mare. Most peculiarly, bull-like horns protruded from her head, and Argent had half a mind to think she was some sort of mixed breed. She couldn't make out the Cutie Mark on account of the imposing ebony armor on Albedo Soul's hindflanks.
The barrel section of the armor was currently strewn on the floor, as Albedo had a freshly-applied dressing of gauze around her body, a brownish-red stain seeping out of a fresh wound. Likely originating from the glowing, clearly magical sword at Code Break's hooves.
It was a bit crowded near the entrance, especially as Heartstopper returned. Albedo Soul herself seemed to be downright depressed, huddling in on herself against a pillar. Argent raised an eyebrow.
"She seems overwhelmed."
"I figured out that the Tomb of Nazarick used to belong to our Overlord and, presumably, his equals at the time," Code Break explained nonchalantly, her pinprick eyes not betraying any particular emotion, "which was obvious in hindsight. It turns out that Being A put this place into stasis as one last hoorah before being banished."
"Which explains the sudden appearance of the guardians."
"Mm. Albedo here sent Being A on a wild goose chase through the rest of the Tomb, but she knows how to get us to the Elements of Harmony. She was more than willing to help us once I name-dropped our Overlord."
"And pulled out a divine greatsword by sheer willpower alone…" Zero Regret added, a bit of awe still in his voice, "Seriously, that thing was going through her."
"And I am physically the strongest of the guardians, and even I couldn't… dislodge it from myself," Albedo finally spoke, before looking up at Code Break, "How? How did you do it?"
Code Break blinked. And then thought about it, for a little bit. The silence was a bit jarring, considering the circumstances, but oddly peaceful.
"I didn't question if it was possible or not. I just saw somepony who needed help. After all, if the gods can't give you a break," Code Break smiled, "then at least I can."
At that, Albedo groaned in melodramatic misery, putting a hoof over her head. A far cry from her solemn silence only moments before.
"Aaah, if only you weren't married! Such kind words from you, miss Code Break!"
"A-Ah, I'm flattered…"
"Ahem," Argent cleared her throat, pulling attention, "If that's all, then I'd like for us to get to the Elements of Harmony as quickly as possible. We are on an important mission, and if your precious Supreme Equine is to escape from his prison…"
"Of course! At once!"
With that, Argent Silver endured the warping feeling in her stomach as Albedo Soul activated a ring earring, and their adventuring party teleported alongside the final guardian to the final floor of the dungeon: the throne room.
The first thing Argent Silver saw was her Overlord.
No. Not her Overlord. The skeletal stallion was still suspended in crystal in Carneville. Rather, somepony who was currently imitating her Overlord. Some details were missing — the red orb in his stomach was gone, as was his casting staff. The spells he was slinging were lower-level than her Overlord, as well.
But he was clearly holding off Being A, as a maelstrom of power surged around her. It was like teleporting straight into a war zone. The broken body of a golem and the unconscious bodies of six other combatants laid on the ground — a group of maids, it seemed, each of them armed. A strange pink creature seemed to be holding up a magical shield around the unconscious bodies, albeit strained under the sheer force of Being A's power.
"Gargantuan! The Pleiades!" Albedo gasped, moving to rush to their aide — before holding her side in pain.
"Oh, were those their names? A shame. Hello, Elements! I'm afraid your little power crystals are all shattered to dust."
Being A laughed, before her hoof erupted in a searing light, and a divine punch was delivered to the Overlord mimic's head. The disguise stumbled from the impact — and a lanky pony in a yellow military uniform flickered in its place, before resuming the form of their Overlord.
"Herr Albedo, tut mir leid!" The Mimic yelped, casting a lightning spell at the enemy, "Being A has reduced the physical artifacts to pieces! I cannot fight for much longer…"
"And fight you will not!"
Being A's hind hooves flashed with the same divine light from before, and she delivered a powerful buck to the mimic's body, sending him flying into the wall. Once the dust settled, all that remained was a broken heap of a featureless beige-colored unicorn embedded in the architecture. His military cap had fallen onto the ground.
"Hoh hoh hoh. Is that all you useless NPCs have for me? And here I thought everything would go according to your beloved Overlord's ten-thousand year plan. 'Ooooh, as expected of Rhine Allgone!' 'You are as amazing as ever, Rhine Allgone!' 'You're soooo much better than that stupid Axis Order, Rhine Allgone!' As if nopony ever noticed that it was literally an evil undead emperor in front of their stupid muzzles! Seriously, is anypony here genre-savvy at all?!"
Genre-savvy…
Genre…
Books?
Unwilling to break Being A out of her villainous monologue while she was on a roll, Argent Silver hastily opened up the Elementum Harmonia Referendum in her pack. She needed to confirm a suspicion.
ELEMENT OF MAGIC DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF HONESTY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF KINDNESS DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF GENEROSITY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
ELEMENT OF LOYALTY DETECTED: LOCATION UNKNOWN.
Silently packing her book back into her bags, Argent Silver thanked whatever higher beings existed that Being A was exactly the type of idiot to sing her own praises and go on long, whiny tangents about everything she hated. Argent suspected as much after Being A's dramatic reveal, especially since she was personally familiar with this type of personality through her time in the military.
"And now, Rhine Allgone is forever entrapped in crystal! The Tomb of Nazalot is mine! Your precious Elements of Harmony are nowhere to be found, and all the guardians are as good as gone! Equestria shall be the cornerstone of my divine rule, and the glory of my godhood will spread across land and ocean! My blessings shall be upon this world… FOREVER!"
Being A laughed, this time providing her own thunder and lightning. Divine energy erupted from the alicorn, blinding light and searing hot winds almost blowing her entire party off their hooves.
Argent Silver just smirked. For once…
"For once, everything went according to plan."
"What? Are you delusional?" Being A smirked the biggest manure-eating grin this side of Nazalot, "You lost. Go home, already. Game over."
"Your time-stopping ability… it's a tenth-level spell, isn't it?"
"As if I could be held by your puny mortal standards," Being A scoffed, before summoning several floating divine swords behind her, a textbook application of the legendary Gates of Babylon spell, "Any better last words before I kill all of you?"
"Of course. That is to say: I win. "
Suddenly, the broken Elements floated — then shot towards Argent Silver, bypassing the pink creature's shield entirely and soaring past Being A's flabbergasted face. They began to coalesce around her party's necks, before merging in a flash of magic into jeweled necklaces.
"Honesty. Loyalty. Generosity. Laughter. Kindness. They're quite the basic concepts. Indeed, these traits can be found in most creatures, let alone ponies. The idea that these feelings could power a superweapon is absurd. If a family is gunned down in a war, was it because they weren't honest enough? Loyal enough? Kind enough?"
In a panic, Being A roared and fired off her blizzard of swords. Her confidence swelling, Argent Silver casted a party-wide shield spell — and she felt the warm, foreign sensation of comradery flowing through her veins and into her horn. The Elements of Harmony were amplifying her shield, she was certain, especially since Being A's attacks couldn't even dent her defenses.
"No, I realized that in order to fully attune to such a superweapon, these traits needed to work in synchronization. Having a magical foci for such things is lovely, and it seems the Supreme Equines had a neat little failsafe in case the physical Elements are destroyed. But they're not required."
Being A grew more frantic in her attempts at destroying Argent Silver's shield. Dropping her sword summoning spell, the alicorn begun to hammer away at the now-prismatic shield with divine hooves, explosions of light erupting with every impact. Again, not a single effect. Argent was fully grinning, now.
"I simply needed the right wielders to synchronize to. Keepaway, the Element of Honesty, with his brutal opinions and his unfiltered approach to the world. Zero Regret, the Element of Loyalty, with the heart of the most fanatical soldier and the willingness to sacrifice himself for the mission. Rainmaker Tempest, the Element of Generosity, who will always spend their time and effort for those in need, whether in peace or in war."
Being A was actively blabbering in open mortification, now. Not even coherent words, she was just trying every spell in her arsenal on the shield. But the Elements of Harmony weren't having it. It was somewhat poetic: after how many artillery spells, explosive spells, napalm spells, it would be a shield that defeated Argent Silver's greatest enemy thus far?
A shield, and some mind-breaking words for the poor goddess on the other side.
"Heartstopper, the Element of Laughter, who can dismantle the most lethal of battlefields with her good humor and socialization skills. And Code Break, the Element of Kindness, whose mercy touches even those the gods are unwilling to."
Finally, Being A stopped wailing on the shield, realizing that none of her efforts will work. Of course, if she had simply stopped time and killed all six of them, her victory was assured. But tenth level spells could only be cast once a day — even by Rhine Allgone, per his own admission to Argent.
The physical Elements of Harmony had remade themselves in the shape of her party's Cutie Marks. Honesty as an emerald clover. Loyalty as an obsidian zero. Generosity as a sapphire raincloud. Laughter as a turquoise heart. Kindness as a ruby mountain.
"I don't see any Element of Magic, my little pony . You can't beat me!"
"Ah, yes. I mostly assumed the process of elimination would function. But since I am, objectively, the most magically powerful unicorn, not only of this group, but in the entire Equestrian military..."
A warm light erupted from Argent's head, and a silver crown adorned her mane. Sitting as the crown jewel was a diamond in the shape of her own Cutie Mark: A computation orb, which served as the magical foci for aerial mages such as herself, with the cross of the army sitting atop.
Her Cutie Mark was always a reminder of how young she was when she joined the military. She had earned it during training, after all. Argent Silver wore it with pride — and now, it would serve as the final piece of this puzzle.
"...I figured the Element of Magic suited me quite well, either way."
"...No. No! No, no, no, no! I had it! I was winning!"
Finally tired of Being A's incessant, childish whining, Argent Silver's eyes glowed an unholy gold as she and the rest of her party — no, the rest of the Elements — begun levitating from the sheer power of Harmony.
"Oh, my goddess…"
Being A's jaw dropped as a harmonic rainbow wrapped around the six ponies.
Then, the Devil of Rhine grinning terrifyingly at her, the corners of her mouth contorting monstrously.
"...I'll slice you into tiny pieces and feed you to the pigs."
And, channeling a tenth-level artillery spell for the first time in her life, Argent Silver unleashed a nuclear salvo of Harmony and Friendship point-blank at Being A's sorry flank.
The sky erupted in rainbows, happiness, and the pained screams of a former goddess.
"There is no bucking way that worked."
Keepaway deadpanned, as the rainbow began to subside.
Oh, yes, relying on the magic of harmony and hand-holding was absolutely out of Argent's wheelhouse, and she half-suspected to be dead of embarrassment and then divine magic somewhere in there, but she couldn't help but give the green unicorn a rather crass grin.
"Don't you believe in the magic of friendship?"
"Since when were we friends?!"
Keepaway pointed an accusatory hoof at Argent, who simply shrugged.
"Since the laws of the universe dictated we are. I'm not going to argue with forces beyond comprehension."
"As you shouldn't, my dear protégé."
The deep baritone voice of her Overlord echoed through the Tomb's throne room. A rift portal closed from behind him. The skeleton alicorn looked to be in perfect health. His vast presence was a comfort to Argent, his gigantic bony body looming over the present company.
"My Overlord!"
"Er, Mister Overlord! Sir!"
"My Overlord."
"Hi, Rhiny!"
The rest of the group gave Heartstopper a glare for that last one. Honestly, ponies have been banished for less. Argent hoped that the socialite didn't keep committing social faux-pas just because she was the Element of Laughter now.
"Ah, that's a nostalgic old nickname… Congratulations on becoming the Elements of Harmony. It was what I planned all along. I knew the necessary resources would be in Carneville, and so I scheduled this year's Otherworld Day celebration to occur in such a small town," he chuckled, "I doubt you'd like to trek from Belzerg all the way here under Being A's watch."
The thought of such a march elicited a shudder from Argent. She knew how terrible that would be. Thank goodness her Overlord thought so far ahead. The others seemed to be a bit lost, but quickly followed up with a united "as expected!", as was tradition whenever their Overlord would reveal one of his many amazing schemes. It seemed that this tradition dated back centuries, given the remaining guardians in the room also parroted their own "as expected!"s.
"In any case, what to do with Being A… or, rather, Aqua."
He said, looking down at the now-impotent alicorn currently laid out unceremoniously on the floor. She seemed to be snoring, and about thrice as small as before. Still an alicorn, but more the size of a normal pony. And… Aqua? Such a bland name? Perhaps Axis Order was simply a fantasy title she'd imagined for herself in the past thousand years.
"...Banishing her would just cause her to be irksome once more. And loathe as I am to admit it, it's impossible to kill an immortal," their Overlord explained to the crowd, tapping his bony cheek, "...Umu. I know. She'll serve community service at the Adventurer's Guild in Carneville. For as long as I deem it necessary."
"Wait, what? So she's bunking with us? Why?!" Keepaway exclaimed, before gulping, "...Sir."
"Back in the day, she was a decent-enough healer for the Supreme Equines. That's really the only reason we kept her around," their Overlord shrugged, "I'm certain she can fulfill the same capacity, even now that her power is down to mortal levels. Although, she's a bit… of a late bloomer, emotionally and mentally. I'm sure you'll find the good in her."
So she's a whiny moron usually, but the power made her semi-competent for a little bit. Well, that explains the evil monologue.
"In any case, you've done well. I shall summon teleportation portals back to Carneville for you all, and return myself, Major Silver, and Aqua to Nazalot."
"Wait!"
"Umu?"
Albedo called out, before prostrating herself before their Overlord. Her, and… wait, when did the other guardians get here? Marelion, Aurelion, Sebas Magnus, Blood Fallen, even Coldcytus had regained his strength. All of them knelt before the skeleton alicorn, heads to the floor.
"Please, take us with you! You are the last Supreme Equine left. We are yours, forevermore!"
"Albedo Soul… I remember all of you. Blood Fallen, you were Pierrot Raunchy Noir's pride and joy… Sebas Magnus, you have Lord Touching's justice written all over you…"
"Our Overlord!"
About half of them burst into waterworks, and Argent Silver shuffled her hooves, feeling awkward. It wouldn't do to be insensitive, especially as their Overlord was openly reminiscing about his friends lost to time, but to have such deadly, intimidating enemies suddenly act like abandoned infants was unnerving, to say the least.
"Very well. I believe a change in administration is in order. Especially with the amount of recommendations that Major Silver has provided me over the years."
Argent Silver puffed up her chest proudly as their Overlord's glowing scarlet eyes regarded her. Those recommendations, in question, were very strongly worded letters about the incompetence and absolute buffoonery she'd seen among the top brass of the Equestrian military. She was happy they were finally being addressed.
"With Being A finally disposed of, we can begin the later stages of demilitarization. My guardians, I shall see to it that you will be a part of this process. As for you, Argent Silver…"
Well, here it was. After years of hard work and horrible conditions, she would be awarded a living wage for her remaining years, as well as medals of honor to go with her honorable discharge. After all, he just mentioned demilitarization. She was finally going to enjoy the cushy life of the safe rear lines!
"...Now that you're the Element of Magic, I'll be stationing you here to overlook a new military posting in Carneville. In addition, you'll be making sure Aqua doesn't try overthrowing the government. Again. This is a great responsibility, but with the help of your new friends, I've no doubt that you will succeed in your mission."
...A new military base? With all the paperwork and logistics involved? Here, at the edge of the Everfree? Guarding the requisite users of Equestria's most powerful superweapon, as well as acting as warden of the greatest threat to the nation to date?! Without a raise or promotion?!
