The Red Light of Regret
You sat at the red light, one foot on the brake, the other on the clutch. As you look around, you notice some things. There are people with their belongings moving into the student apartments, as well as ponies doing the same.
Ponies had been on Earth for a while, and were still only allowed to be in the United States for lack of a better word, ‘safety reasons’. They were harmless from what you could tell. Because of this, it felt like the human to pony ratio was slowly reversing. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t the case in Equestria, as only citizens of the United States could go in, and Americans want their ‘American Dream’, not Equestrian Dream.
California was great, with its beautiful views, untouched wilderness, and variety of miscellaneous stuff to do. Traffic however on the five was always apparent, and very apparent on Montezuma Road, where San Diego State University sat. You loved the school from day one, getting some of the highest grades in your graduating year class of Business Marketing. The school was so big it had its own zip code.
You then looked to the left of your car, and almost took a double take when you saw a pony behind the wheel of some little janky Corolla, with a human driving instructor with her.
This you had not seen yet. Just recently, a law was passed to give ponies just about every right as any U.S. citizen here today. Actually, not just about that's wrong, they have every single right as any citizen born here. That didn’t bug you at all, but seeing a pony drive?... It’s still a shocker. You wouldn’t’ve thought that ponies would jump at the opportunity to drive so soon, since cars were still in the process of passing regulations in Equestria. There, they are only getting approved for Maretime Bay, and Zephyr Heights since there were wide enough walkways to be converted into roads, and the plan to make a main road connecting the two was already under way. Cars over there had to be electric only since their air was even more clean than Finland.
The car you had, would most certainly not pass. A BMW M4? Hell no. It may be a 2024, with the latest exhaust filters to make it burn fuel as cleanly as it can, but fuel is fuel, and not allowed.
As you were about to turn away from the sight to your left, your eyes widened. ‘Oh no…’. You were reminded of where you had to be today, or where you had to be over fifteen minutes ago. Your marefriend wanted to see you today, and you had forgotten… again, for the third time. This was the third time you’ve missed a date with her, and you knew you were gonna suffer the consequences this time.
You never thought that you would be in bed with a mare. When the ponies first arrived, you - and just about everyone else - thought they looked like cute plushies you find at the carnival. But over time, people started seeing them in a new view, and soon, you saw ponies and people together a lot more often. At first you found it odd. It’s effectively an animal that you’re into. It felt weirder from a sexual standpoint. But as time went on, the less you cared. These ponies had feelings, desires, all of it, just like humans.
That’s when you found her… Midnight Sonnet. The pegasus was minty blue, with a deep blue mane and tail. She was just what you needed when you met her. She was a breath of fresh air. She took away all of the darkness, and replaced it with light. You love her.
At first she was just a friend, hanging out with a group of friends and her every now and then, often being the driver with the cool car when you all just wanted to listen to music and drive the PCH. But soon after you asked her to hang out with you, and you only, and told her how you felt. At first, she actually turned you down, saying that you were a very nice person, but that she just wasn’t ready, to which you respected. After that, you hung out with her and your friend group, but acted as if nothing happened in order not to make it feel awkward, which was good for the both of you. You did and didn’t care if she rejected you. If you could at least be friends, then that was okay. But a month after, she called you crying, saying that she needed to see you. Upon going to her dorm, she broke down into your arms, saying that she had made a mistake about you, and claimed that you were too good for her, and that she wasn’t ready after her previous relationship back in Zephyr Heights that turned toxic. You promised her that you would never turn into her ex, claiming that it isn’t you.
But as said before, this wasn’t the first time that this has happened. You treated her well, but bad at the same time, especially when she needed you. You respected her, gave her the attention that she deserved, treated her with the utmost of pampering, like buying dinner, taking her around the country when on vacations, and getting her gifts even when she didn’t want you to. When you bought her a little stuffed cat, she nearly cried, saying it was about the nicest thing anypony has given to her, which broke your heart. You even have gone all the way with her in the bedroom, further sealing the thought of how hard you fell for her. But with that said, it was at the most critical points you failed at, like being there for her in her time of need, or keeping promises. You’ve done all those good things with her, but when they weren’t happening any time soon, you were just so busy that you would always lose track of time, and either forget to make time for her, miss time planned with her, or forget to ask her to hang out when you were with friends, which further made Midnight more scared, yes, scared.
More recently, she’s been getting more and more nervous that you’ve lost interest with her, or are getting with someone or somepony else, and you made it worse by taking offense to it, often aggressively dismissing it, rather than reassuring her.
Her anxiety had become especially apparent when she went back to Zephyr Heights for summer vacation, and you remained in the states. She wanted you to come with her, and meet her parents, see her city, and all of her friends, but you had a job with BMW North America, and couldn’t work remotely.
The next thing you knew, you heard your phone ringing through the BMW’s speakers, as the ambient lighting in them pulsed, signaling an incoming call. The infotainment screen showed a photo of Midnight, smiling through the screen, at you.
You hesitated at first, scared to answer, trying to think of an excuse as to why you were so late. The only good thing was that you were heading into the direction of where she was. But before your thumb could hit the answer call button on the steering-wheel, a car behind you laid on their horn, as the light seemed to be green for a while, the student driver car no longer in sight. You took your right hand away from the button, grabbing the gear shifter, and nearly launched the car as it stalled out in the crosswalk, multiple warnings now coming up on the instrument cluster, recognizing a stall.
You smack your hand on the steering-wheel, raging for a quick second. “Oh for god’s sake c’mon!”
You push your foot back on the clutch, and the car automatically started back up for you, ready to go. You decided that clutch kicking the car would just get you going, as you were frazzled as the ringing continued through the speakers.
The car once again lurched forward, now lighting up the rear wheels, creating smoke, the car still not happy with the situation, as it lost most of its power, the redline retreating from seventy five hundred rpm to only thirty five hundred. The ringing stopped, and the screen was replaced with a drivetrain malfunction light.
Clearly the new car did not like the abuse. It was still well into its break-in period, with only about three hundred miles on the clock, and must’ve locked itself out in order to protect itself.
The car then put the hazard lights on, and once again stalled out, now rolling down the road as quiet as an electric car.
Panic on you continued as you attempted to restart the car. When it started up you put it back into gear and just cruised, trying to get the car to get out of its funk.
You quickly collected yourself as the car went about as normal, now focusing on your mare.
“Hey BMW”.
“Hello, what can I help you with?”
“Send a text to Midnight Sonnet saying ‘I’ll be there soon, traffic. Sorry.”
“Okay, I will send that to Midnight Sonnet.”
You then heard your phone ding twice, but you didn’t look at it.
After parallel parking your car right out front of the cafe, you look at your phone and see the two messages from Midnight, saying ‘It’s fine.’ ‘You don’t have to show up.’
The messages made you frown as you got out of your car, seeing her in the window, looking at her coffee with a somber expression. From here you could see the fur on her cheeks were wet.
You felt horrible, now quickly closing the door to the car, walking into Better-Buzz.
As you walk in and approach the pegasus, you see that she doesn’t even look up to see who is approaching. You go right up to her and crouch down.
You look at her with a pained smile, “Hey Mid. I’m so sorry I’m late, I was in traffic.” You reach your hand out to cup her cheek, but she flinches away from you before you can get to her.
“Please don’t Matt…” Her voice was emotionless.
You stop, and just decide to get into the chair across from her. A few of the people and other ponies around you glanced your way, but luckily no one was staring.
As you sit, she looks at her hooves that are on the table, fidgeting. A sigh escaped her lips, eyes closing for a brief moment. When she looks up to you, it’s like being hit with a train of intimidation, even if she looked sad.
“Matthew…” She never uses your full name. “This is the third time that you have done this, not to mention all the other times you’ve ignored me. What is going on with you?”
You look away from her, “I-”
“Look at me Matt.”
Your eyes widen as your head goes back up to her, an irritated look now on her face, a new tear rolling down her cheek.
‘Ahh geez, this is bad.’ “I… I’m sorry, Mid. I really am.”
“Sorry doesn’t work anymore Matt, you can’t keep doing this to me.” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears now. “I’ve tried so hard to believe in you, that you were just busy like you say.”
“But I am busy Mid, I swear!”
“Why can’t you just text me that then?”
“I-I do! Sometimes?”
“Are you… not… in love with me anymore?”
You blink in shock, leaning forward, trying to show her that she has your attention.
“What no! No no Midnight it’s nothing like that at all! What-why would you think that?”
“Is there someone else?” She sounded heart broken now.
Now you’re annoyed at this little interrogation. “Midnight Sonnet, just because I don’t give you constant attention doesn’t mean I’m cheating on you or uninterested.”
The look of mortification was on her face now. ‘Ouch… The fuck were you thinking Matt?’
“I… Matt, let me be clear here,” Now she was the one to be angry. “I didn’t choose to date you because of your money or because of how smart you are, or how big of a following you have. I chose you because of how you treated me. Treated me! What happened Matt? I miss the old you.”
You look at her in confusion. “Wh… What do you mean I’ve ‘changed’? I’m still me Midnight, I’m just busy.”
“I loved it when you would text me how much you miss me, or wish you could be with me and hold me all night if you could, or that you would get upset if I was in a sad mood and would tell me that you would get in the car and come get me even if it was past midnight.”
“I said that?”
She raised an eyebrow at you. “Yes? … It… It just feels like you don’t care for me Matt.” The sadness creeped back in.
“Well Midnight, then maybe you need to wake up. We’re nearing the end of college next year. You can’t be my highest priority.”
“I know that Matt but-”
“No Midnight, you need to get a grip and wake up. Just because I can’t be there for you twenty four seven doesn’t mean I hate you or any of that stuff. You’re paranoid, and I am here right now trying to reassure you but you just continue to put these dumbass thoughts into your head and it’s ridiculous at this rate. We aren’t freshmen anymore, we’re adults Midnight Sonnet! ”
Her jaw dropped. You took it too far, and you know it.
“You know what Matthew, I did wake up, right now.” She then hopped down from her chair as you got nervous that you took it too far. Little did you know, you went into the deep end. You were turning into her ex, right in front of her.
“I… I think we need a break. You’ve changed Matt, and it’s scaring me.”
“Mid-”
“We’re done Matt. Ever since I came back last week you just… *sigh* I’m taking a break from you Matt, you’re not helping me at all.” She chuckled briefly, but you could tell that she was in pain. “My friends were right about you.” She muttered.
“What? What do you mean that they were right?” You started panicking. “Mid-”
“It’s Midnight, Matthew.”
You were blown away. You nearly gave her a look of anger, but couldn’t let this end.
“Midnight what did they say?”
She hung her head a little, “That you have changed, become someone you aren’t. I don’t know if it’s because of how ‘busy’ you are, or what else kind of stress you have, but whatever it is, it’s changing you, and I can’t seem to help you, and because of that, I do not want to be there to see you capsize, because you already are spiraling out of control.”
Silence. It almost felt like the cafe went quieter. All the things she just said not only felt like bullets going right through you, but felt true, because it was. You were stressed, you did have a lot on your plate. But you did it to yourself, and have done it before, never learning from your mistakes, letting it seep into your relationship, hurting an already emotionally damaged pony.
Since you had no response, she started to walk away. You stood up and wanted to call out to her, but you’d lost your voice from the shock.
As she walked out, her ears were flat against her head. She stopped right next to your car, glancing at it. She’d never seen it before. She then continued to walk away, not turning to look back at you.
What have you done Matthew? What have you done?