some silly shorts

by erictheblue

First published

just some silly short stories

what more can i say? just some short gags to practice submitting to the site.

Twilight in Candyland

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Twilight looked up at the large banner:

Welcome to Candyland. We have everything.

"Everything, huh? we'll see."

Twilight produced a checklist and began checking it as she wandered around.

"Peanut Brittle roads, Check."

"Cotton Candy clouds, Check."

"Candy Cane trees, Check."

"Chocolate Milk River, Check."

"Gingerbread house, Check."

"Giant Candy Monster that's about to eat me, Wait WHAT?!"

CHOMP!

"AAAAAH!"

WHUMP!

Spike sat up straight in his basket and exclaimed, "Twilight! are you okay?"

"OW. Ooooogh. what a crazy dream." Twilight muttered.

Dance of the Changelings

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the "mane 6" have managed to negotiate a peace treaty with the changelings, and are now organizing a celebration.
Rarity has decided to teach some Changelings how to dance, and somehow convinced Applejack to help.
the rest of the group (except spike) has dropped in to see how things are going:

("-----" will indicate flashback-type effects)

A dozen Ponies and a dozen Changelings were watching Rarity and Applejack intently when Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy walked into the theater. (actually, Dash was Flying, as usual)

Twilight noticed Applejack rubbing her shoulder. "you ok, Applejack?"
"aw, tain't nothin'. OK, everyone, let's give it a whirl! Start the Music, Rarity!"

Rarity turned on the music and the Ponies And Changelings started the dance.
They did surprisingly well, considering that they had had so little time learning.
The Changelings did every step perfectly, performed the formal finishing bow-

-then every single Changeling clutched it's shoulder and yelled, "OW! Consarn it!"

Applejack and Rarity facehooved.
Pinkie Pie fell over laughing.
Rainbow Dash dropped out of the air and went "OOF!"
Fluttershy fainted.
and Twilight Sparkle simply stared open-mouthed.

Applejack recovered first, and exclaimed, "um, ok, that was almost perfect! everybody take five! um, i mean, take a five-minute break, um, make that ten minutes."

the dancers all left and the group recovered.
Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, "what the heck was that all about?!"
"Tarnation! those durn Changelin's are SO literal-minded! ok, lemme try to explain:"

-----
Applejack told the dancers, "ok, everybody grab themselves a partner-"
----

"-then WAM! every single Changelin' TACKLED a Pony and pinned her down!"

Pinkie Pie fell over laughing again.
Rainbow Dash facehooved so hard she did a backflip.
Fluttershy and Twilight had identical stunned expressions.

Twilight shook herself and exclaimed, "wow, that's pretty bad."

Rarity groaned, "and it got worse..."

-----
Rarity yelled, "um, cancel that! help your partners back on their hooves!"
the Changelings obeyed.
"ok, now, touch hooves with your partner.
now the idea is to mimic your partner's movements-"
-----

"-then POOF! the second i said 'mimic' every single Changeling transformed to look like it's partner!"

Fluttershy giggled, then looked abashed.
Rainbow Dash simply groaned.
Twilight muttered, "oh, no..."
and, of course, Pinkie fell over laughing yet again!

Applejack continued: "so then we tried to lead by example..."

-----
"Darn it! said the wrong thing agin'!-sorry Rarity.
Everyone change back, please.
Now let's try this: everyone watch close as me an' Rarity dance. i want all the Ponies to remember what Rarity does, and the Changlin's to watch me close."
then Rarity and Applejack did the dance.
they did it well, but made one little mistake: they stood a little too close together for the bow, so Rarity accidentally Poked Applejack in the shoulder with her horn-
-----

-then Pinkie Pie yelled, "OW! Consarn it!"
and everyone rolled on the floor with laughter, except Rainbow Dash, who spun around in midair.

Twilight Sparkle recovered first. "well, you know what they say, practice makes perfect!"
"Ayup. well, i recon we'll just have to try agin'."

Twilight brought out her notebook and a pencil started writing:
"Dear Princess Celestia. today I learned that Changelings are VERY literal-minded. we must be VERY careful what we say to them."

the world is in bad shape

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"Um, Twilight?"

"Yes, Spike?

"There's a Human at the edge of town-i think."

"You THINK?"

"he's a different color from the ones we saw on that world past the mirror-portal."

"Oh. What's he doing?"

"Oh, he's just standing there, waving his hands around and babbling. nobody can understand him, he's speaking a different language."

"That's kind of odd..."

After finding a book with a translation spell, Twilight flew over to where Spike had seen the human.
he was still gesturing, and saying the same four words over and over.
most of the ponies had fled, but one pony was sitting nearby, staring in fascination.
Twilight groaned when she recognized the pony...Lyra Heartstrings.

"Ah, FINALLY! hurry up and cast that translation spell already!"

Twilight sighed. "ok, stand back a bit."

Twilight cast the spell, and they finally understood what the man was saying:

"The world is flat! the world is flat!"

Both ponies gasped in shock, and both Facehooved.

"Oh, great, this one is defective." Lyra muttered.

Twilight yelled, "QUIET!"

The man stopped and stared, as if only THEN noticing that he was no longer on Earth.

Twilight whispered to Lyra, "let's give him a chance to learn", then told the man, "WHICH world do you think is flat?"

he blinked and said, "BOTH worlds of course!"

"And WHY do you think that?" the two ponies said in unison.

"because WATER FINDS IT'S LEVEL!"

Both ponies facehooved again.

"listen, I SEE for MYSELF that the world is a sphere EVERY time i FLY! there would BE no Horizon if the world was flat!" Twilight exclaimed, and began hovering so that her head was at the same height as his head.

He stared, eyes glazing over, then exclaimed triumphantly, "That's just an illusion! it's the Law of Perspective!"

Lyra facehooved again, then yelled, "You think distant buildings being half-visible is just an illusion?"

"Yes! you can see all of them if you use a telescope!"

Twilight immediately teleported home, grabbed a small telescope and returned. "TRY it yourself. look at that mountain over there!"
she pointed toward Canterlot.

He looked, and his eyes glazed over again...then he explained triumphantly, "Refraction!"

Both ponies facehooved again.

Twilight muttered, "he's worse than Discord", then said to the human, "have YOU ever SEEN the EDGE of your world?"

His eyes glazed over again, he muttered, "no..." then yelled "because no one is allowed to go there!"

Lyra muttered, "What the Buck", then said aloud, "Why?"

"Because The Government is hiding the truth!"

"WHY?!"

his eyes glazed over again, and he muttered, "Um...because they ALWAYS lie about EVERYTHING!"
then he yelled, "and they BRAINWASH EVERYONE!"

Twilight flew RIGHT up to the human, poked him in the shoulder with a hoof and said, "Including YOU? So YOU have been brainwashed into believing that your world is a SPHERE?"

His eyes glazed over again, then rolled back into his head as he passed out.

"WOW, what a stupid creature." Twilight said, then carried him off to an asylum.

Lyra stared after her, then trotted home, muttering to herself, "i am definitely NOT telling Bon-bon about this."