The Greatest Chef in all the land, huh?
"I now pronounce you husband and wife!" The priest cheered. "You may kiss the bride!"
The crowd cheered with him. The two ponies locked lips and enjoyed their bliss. Everypony in the room was so happy. All, except for Limestone Pie. She watched on, trying to keep a big smile for her sister, Marble Pie as she ran down to the cart with a giant of a husband, Trouble Shoes. They once called him the unluckiest pony even, but the reverse was true for Marble Pie when she caught him.
As soon as the cart was out of sight, Limestone slouched down. The was the clenchers. All of the pie sisters were married, except her. They all found perfect stallions to stand beside them, except her. They were all happy, except her. The lone aggressive mare couldn't take it no more and raised her hoof in declaration. "I will find the perfect stallion!!" She pointed at her other sisters. "He will be better than any of your prizes and you three will cry tears of sorrow and shame when you see him!!" She screamed her loudest, making all the crowd stop and grow silent.
"Oh, cool!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "Can you bring him to the family reunion next month?" She was never the brightest of the four pie sisters, but her words always hit the hardest.
They left Limestone pale was utter fear. She fought back the only way she knew how, by screaming, "I'll bring him and all of you will love and adore him!!" With that final word she ran off from the scene to hide her shame and embarrassment. Her sisters waved her goodbye, with Pinkie Pie laughing the entire time, not knowing the danger she sowed for every available stallion nearby.
Her mission was clear, but a month would quickly fade away. Before she knew it, there was only a week left until the family reunion. And she still had not found a single stallion of any height of shape. She wasn't being picky about the ponies, but as soon as she stepped into any bar she found all the stallions taken.
She was at an utter loss for words. She searched every phonebook, newspaper, bar and even strip clubs for a stallion and none of them were available. She came to the conclusion that the whole country must be completely filled with stallions busy with their wives and mares. Or worst, all of them heard her proclamation and none of them wanted her.
The complete defeat was agonizing. She was running out of time and getting more desperate by the second. She half consider stealing a stallion or even raping one. No, she couldn't take another night in jail for assault and battering, adding sexual assault to her record would make things worst too. Though, maybe a few stallions in prison could use a booty call. No, if she got locked up she wouldn't be able to attend the family reunion anyway.
The mare had lost all will. She caved and tried one more bar. A stinky joint on the edge of Rainbow Falls. It was the border between three countries, Crystal Empire, Griffinstone and Yakyakistan. Maybe if her final plan failed she could flee to one of these countries in shame.
Entering the place, she was met with a horrid of smells. The smells of sweat, booze, vomit, smoke and sex wafted through the air, but they are all overpowered by a stank of cheese coming from the kitchen. Great, more things to remind her of her sisters and their successes.
She stood before the bartender, a yak mare, and asked for the heaviest drink they had. The bartender looked up at Limestone and spoke, "You want food too?"
"Sure!" Limestone rolled her eyes and sat down. "Anything but that stinky cheese."
"Coming right up."
As the yak mare walked off, Limestone glanced over the room looking for stallions. There were plenty, but with dates of all kinds. She raised her eyebrow at a table of two big and broney stallions, only to drop her sight when the two started making out.
The rest in the room were lone mares looking for a mate just like her or other species like yaks, griffins and cyrstal ponies. Those options seemed like a better choice as time went on but looking closer revealed even they had dates. Her possibilities were running out by the second.
Limestone's face went white as a ghost. She was going to have to resort to arriving at the family reunion in shame. She needed a stallion and fast. She hated to do this, but what else could she do? But when all hope seemed lost.
"What are you talking about?!" A male voice screamed within the kitchen. "My cheese does not stink that badly!!" A tall male griffin rushed out of the kitchen and pointed at Limestone. "I've had enough you ponies and your lack of taste!!" He presented the plate of cheese to her and growled. "This stuff is the freshiest and tastiest cheese on the market!!"
Limestone raised an eyebrow at him, but couldn't refuse free food. She took the plate and dug in. The smell of the cheese hit her nose hard, but it was nothing compared to the taste. The strong flavor of the cheese was replaced by a lush mix of exotic spices. "Safron... Sumac and Amchur."
The griffin's eyes widened. "How did you know?!"
Limestone laughed. "I've used the stuff plenty in my own food..." She took another bite. "But I've never consider putting them in cheese." Savoring the final piece, she took a long moment before answering. "Try some salt to balance out all that sweet from the amchur."
"Salt!!" The griffin sounded more offended. "You want me to waste my most expensive cheese with salt!!"
Having enough of his yelling she decided to scream back. "Well, I don't care how expensive it is, it needs salt!!" She grabbed the nearest shaker and drop some of the slimy paste that remained of the cheese. He glared at her but was unable to stop her as she swiped that slime off and shoved it in his mouth.
The griffin took a step back and taste the bit. He slowly smiled and turned away in shame. "She is right! It did need salt!"
"Exactly!" Limestone cheered in victory.
The chef didn't want to show it but he was so impressed that he had to know more about this mare. "I'm sorry." he faced her and took a bow. "My name is Gustave Le Grand, I was once the greatest chef in all of Griffinstone."
"Huh, greatest chef?" Limestone raised an eyebrow. "My name is Limestone Pie." She held out her hoof only for him to react to her last name.
"Wait a relative of Pinkie Pie!!" He took her hoof and shook it proudly.
"Yes, she's my younger sister?"
"Oh, you are the oldest."
"No, not the oldest of our siblings, but second oldest."
"But you speak with even better experience at cooking then Pinkie Pie." He sat down and raised a talon to his chin. "I assumed that since she was such a great cook she learned if from her eldest."
"No, Maud would know the difference between black cardamom and black mustard seed!" Limestone boasted proudly. "I'm the best chef in the family."
"Incredible." Gustave calmed down and called for some of his extra dishes. "Any leftovers we have. Completely free, for the lovely mare." He leaned his beak down at her.
"Lovely?" Limestone blushed at his words and waved at him. A thought crossed her head. Looking back around, still none of the stallions were available. And yet, here was a male willing to talk to her right now. Sure, he wasn't a pony, and he was quite older than her, but she was quickly running out of choices. The mare bit her lip and relaxed. "Sure, call me whatever you want."
The two spent hours talking, drinking and eating cheese. Day turned into night and many of the customers left for home. The bartender even went home, leaving Gustave to lock up when he was done.
Limestone's eyes never left the griffin's face. She could have considered this would have been her best choice in literally ever. Other stallions would have pissed her off with an hour of talking. Staying at a table this long usually meant, she was contemplating murder of the stallion and leaving him with the check. But Gustave sparked a different sense with her.
Gustave was arrogance, ill-tempered and very stand offish, just like her. He knew food and could make it well, just like her. No overpowering sweets, no bland and boring bitters. Just savory, sour and tasty food. This griffin was a full package. And maybe more if she could nudge his mind in the right direction.
"And that's how I solved the murder, won the cooking contest and saved your sister's life!" Gustave slammed down his twelfth drink.
"I'm pretty sure that not how Pinkie described it." Limestone leaned closer to him. "Though, she might have been making it up." The mare laughed with him as she savored her twelfth drink as well. "Sounds like you have a fun life... but you have no wife?" She rubbed her hoof on his talon.
"No!" he cheered with her. "Though, I did have a daughter when I was very young... Her mother ran away with the egg after finding a husband with a big pot of gold. But I keep in contact with the baby bird from time to time."
"Oh..." Limestone blushed. "I've never dated a dilf." She covered her mouth in an attempt to not scare him off. She didn't want him to assume this was a date at all until he wanted more.
"Huh, I guess you're right." Gustave licked his beak. "This is a date..." His words made her blush more and the mare rushed in. He didn't stop her as she stole a kiss from him. Limestone enjoyed the feeling of his beak against her lips, it felt cold yet inviting.
Her tongue slipped inside and savored the cheese-soaked spit. Gustave returned the favor, pushing back and slicking his harder tongue over her jaws and between her cheeks. The mare pulled back to get air, but Gustave followed her.
He pushed her against the bar stand with a sudden motion and stole her lips once. Limestone let go of his talon and wrapped both of her forelegs around his shoulder. She pulled him closer and over top of her. Gustave carefully pushed the cheese away and pulled out his penis. The mare's eyes widened at its shape. It was thick, long, very blunt with a distinct arrowhead tip.
"Is that for me?" She asked.
"If you want it." Gustave grabbed her hind leg and placed them on his lap. Limestone lifted her ass off the stool and leaned back more onto the bar stand.
"Oh..." She purred into his ear. "I'm demanding it."
Gustave smiled and pushed forward, moving her walls aside and entering her pussy. Limestone moaned at the fullness as it had been a long time since she had a good bucking. Plus, this was the first time she had been with someone outside of her species and his didn't disappoint.
The arrowhead felt strange inside her at first, but it quickly grew on her. Gustave took it slow,y pushing and guiding her until she was used to the unique member. For the next few minutes, they stayed like that, the mare riding him and the griffin enjoying the feeling of her hips bouncing on his cock.
"You like it?" Gustave asked as he looked down on her.
"Could put more effort into it!" Limestone moaned harder.
"You asked for it!" Gustave pressed on harder. Limestone arched her neck back as he banged her deep into her pussy. She gasped at each thrust but kept a straight face the whole time. "Wow, you can take it
"You're not so bad yourself." The mare panted as they moved together.
Gustave smirked under her weight and pounded her pussy even harder. She groaned loudly, biting her lip and squirming on his shaft.
"Please!" Limestone begged, shaking her head side to side. "Make me scream!"
"Your wish is my command." Gustave grunted between thrusts. Limestone flinched with every penetration, but he continued to push her thighs apart and force himself deeper inside her.
"Oh fuck! Making your bitch!" Limestone's back arched and she screamed out loud, letting loose everything she held in her body. Gustave shivered at the noise as he shoved her down into the bar stand, compressing the wood. Limestone came hard on his shaft, her muscles clenching around him and squeezing him tight.
As soon as the last twitch of pleasure ended, Gustave pulled out of her and lean back into his bar stool. The griffin crowed loud and sprayed cum over the mare's gut. "Yeah, there we go..." He sighed with relief. "I almost finished inside you--" He was stopped as the mare tackled him to the ground without warning.
Limestone grabbed him by the throat and made a bold proclamation. "No, no, no. You don't get to use me and pull out!!" She cleaned the smut off her body and moved her pussy back in place. "I've been search all over Equestria for a damn good stallion. You are leaving me now!!" With that she slammed her pussy onto his shaft.
"What are you talking about?!" Gustave began to full back as she continued to ride his penis.
"I want a husband!!" Limestone screamed. "And I'm taking one!!" Her voice rose into a yell as she rode the griffin, grinding her clit into his pelvic bone.
"Wait, wait." Gustave tried to push up against her, but he couldn't get any purchase. The mare had so much more strength compared to before. Her presence alone was enough to suffocate him even without the fact that her hoof was on his throat.
"Do you have a problem with getting married?!" The mare demanded with a mighty roar.
"N-no." Gustave coughed, still unable to speak. "But... I don't know if I'm ready for marriage yet."
"You have children and once there was a mare that cared enough about you to screw and leave!!" Limestone pressed her body tight to his. "But don't worry, I won't leave! You can have me every night and I will stay by your side forever and ever!!"
"..." Gustave's eyes widened at how serious she was being. She truly meant every word; it was plastered all over her face. She wanted him and all of him. All his pride, rage, lying and massive arrogance. And she was a perfectly fine mare as well, a perfect cook, master of tastes and smell. They were meant for each other, right? "I guess we could--"
"Then by the power invested to me by the Pie Family Value's church!! I pronounce you and myself as husband and wife!!" Limestone laughed out loud in victory.
"Wait, you are an officiate!!" Gustave body shivered out of control.
"Yeah, my father is the head of the church!!" Limestone slammed her body harder against his shaft. Moving her body with pleasure and joy, she leaned back and enjoyed every moment.
The griffin tried to fight the pleasure, but it was too much for him. Gustave moaned deeply and let go of his remaining pride, giving in to his desires. He breathed heavily as he felt her inner walls squeeze him tightly. Her vaginal muscles squeezed him like a vice, milking him for all he was worth.
Gustave bucked his hips wildly as Limestone slid herself up and down his cock, shaking her tail along his thighs. She clenched her teeth as she pushed him deeper inside her, feeling his length expand her vagina even further to fit only his arrowhead form from now on. Limestone's hooves dug into his chest as she shook her head side to side and screamed out loud as another orgasm hit her.
Limestone could barely breath but stayed in complete command. The mare moved her hips even faster, urging him to finish inside her. She wanted not a single drop out of place.
Gustave grunted under her weight and pounded his cock into the mare's wet pussy. Her thrusting became more erratic as he gave in completely to his urges. His breathing grew heavy and ragged as the both of them reached their limit.
"Now, cum for me, Gustave!" Limestone yelled at him. "Cum inside your bride!!" She shoved herself even harder and faster, pushing her peak over again.
Gustave cried out in pleasure as he unleashed his seed deep inside Limestone's womb. His cum hit in spurt from his shaft. Limestone moaned hard as her body shook and twisted and a third and final orgasm hit her. Her screams of victory echoed through the entire building.
When it was finally over, the mare fell over his chest and snuggled into him. He didn't stop her, wrapping his talons around her body and compressing her chest to his. Both laid there on the cold ground until unconscious took them.
The week passed and the family reunion was finally here. Limestone Pie arrived by train and stepped out with a bold smile. Gustave slowed moved behind her with a tray of his best foods, made ahead of time as he was very nervous about the whole thing. The mare didn't give her husband much room to breathe and rushed him through the crowds of family members and over to her sisters.
Maud and Marble Pie were watching as Maud's husband was boring Marble's husband with terrible stick facts. Both were commenting on how well the two stallions were getting along when Limestone stomped loudly over. Hearing her they turned their attention over and noted the griffin placing down the food.
"So, you've brought a date..." Maud was as monotone as ever.
"Date?!" Limestone laughed so loud that every pony could hear her. "This is my new husband!!" She shouted her loudest in bold proclamation.
Marble gasped in shock and covered her mouth. "Aww! Congratulations!!" She answered with a happy smile while hugging Limestone tightly.
"Great..." Maud tried her best to keep a smile while cleaning out her ear. "Now don't scream again, you'll wake up Boulder."
"Is that Limestone Pie!!" Pinkie Pie's own screech could be heard from the far side of the farm.
"Nevermind..." Maud shrugged as the final sister raced over in a bright flash of light and fireworks.
"So..." Pinkie Pie got right in Limestone's face. "You have a husband!"
"Yes..." Her brave face faded upon seeing Pinkie rush pasted her and around her husband.
The pink mare scanned and picked all over the griffin. He shivered as she counted each of his feathers, every individual hair on his tail and tested his talons on paper. Limestone managed to finally pull her off before she started taking measurements of his private areas.
"Will you please not do that?!" Limestone threw Pinkie down like a sack of bricks.
"Sorry, he just looked so familiar."
"Familiar?!" Gustave gasped. "How could you forget your greatest rival!!"
"Wait..." She ran back over and pocked his chef's hat. "Aren't you that griffin that was accused of murder?"
Gustave's face went bold shame filled red. Limestone held a hoof in front of her husband and told him to take a breath, rubbing his chest until he calmed down. His rage simmered down, and he enjoyed a quick kiss from his wife.
Limestone winked at him, turned back around shook her sister violently. "The only murder about happen around here is you, now stop mocking him and remember the best chef in Griffinstone!!"
"Of course, of course!!" Pinkie laughed at her sister's outrage. "I remember the great Gustave Le Grand!!" She rolled out of her sister's malice and over to the table, spying the food. "Oh, wow. Cheese, Lil Cheese!!" She shouted to her husband and daughter. The other two appeared out of nowhere and all three devoured all the food Gustave brought.
The griffin's dropped his beak in shock. "She still has no sense in table manners."
"I know," Limestone grumbled beside him. The two laughed together at their shared annoyance of Pinkie Pie.
Gustave looked back the train as another griffin stepped off. "Oh, Lime... I hope you don't mind, but I invited my daughter to the family reunion."
"Sure, where is my baby stepdaughter!" Limestone's eyes lit up at him.
"Over there!!" Pinkie Pie pointed out, somehow knowing the obvious even before the others.
The married mare's eyes widened at a familiar griffin walking toward them with a plate of muffins. "Gilda!!"
"Limstone!!" the taller griffin walked over to the table, placed down the muffins and turned her attention to the mare. Her eyes widened at the rings that the mare and her father were sharing. She raced over and narrowed her eyes on the mare with the rage of a classic rival. "You're my dad's new wife!"
"You're Gustave's... baby bird!!" Limestone replied with just as much confusion and rage.
"Wait!" Pinkie Pie interrupted. "Does that make me GIlda's aunt?!"
"Shut up, Pinkie Pie!!" Both screamed in unison. The two turned back to each other and realized what they did. Second later the two were embracing each other in a tight hug.
"Mommy!!" Gilda called out.
"My baby bird!!" Limestone affirmed.
"I knew they would get along." Gustave teared up at the sight of his favorite females hugging it out.
Maud Pie walked up with her husband and Boulder, saying the perfect line to end on. "This is very weird... and wholesome..."