I am Giancolto Esposito, and I will be playing Yarein dictator Anton Coltstro
"You can't stop me, Twilight, I'm in a tank and you're not!" Screamed Lucky Chance, annoying Twilight once again. Ever since he moved to Ponyville from Silsbuck, Trotsas, he seemed to have been competing with Pinkie Pie to give her a headache. His latest scheme, which was unfolding before her very eyes, involved him somehow obtaining a TANK from Foal Cry 6.
"Seriously Lucky, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own a tank!" Twilight responded, wishing she was inside reading.
"If the Constitution says I can own an M249 SAW, I can own a 1944 Petrov HS-100 Tank!"
"Wha-bu, the Constitution doesn't govern Equestria!"
"The Equestrian Constitution has the 2nd Amendment, meaning your argument is null and void, and I can own a tank!"
"Get out the Celestia-forsaken Tank right this instant!"
"You're not my Mom, you can't tell me what to do!"
"I don't care!" Twilight responded through gritted teeth.
"See ya!" Lucky yelled while driving off.
Damnit, Lucky!" Twilight screamed, waving her hoof towards the sky.
++++++
"Hey Twi, what's up?" asked Rainbow Dash, with a pair of 1, 2, buckle my shoes, 3, 4, buckle some more, 5, 6, Nike kicks.
"Chasing Lucky," wheezed Twilight.
"Oh, so you've seen his 1944 Petrov HS-100 tank?" asked Rainbow.
"Of course I have, I'm trying to stop him!" Twilight answered, exasperated.
Suddenly the two, heard an explosion, looking towards the source, they saw a Royal Guard Chariot soaring into the Stratosphere, "Oh no, Celestia-damnit," Twilight said, on the verge of snapping Lucky's neck.
"We should go see what happened," Rainbow said, checking out her whadafuck Brand hat.
After flying towards Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight and Rainbow saw a charred RGC (Royal Guard Chariot), and a perplexed Carrot Farmer. However, the thing that caught their attention was Lucky Chance, in a tank driving at Mach 5, and worse, he was driving TOWARDS them.
"Motherfuc-," Twilight tried to say, before being ran over, Rainbow had ascended just in time and was able to finish Twilight's sentence, "-Ker."
"We gotta get him and stop him!" Shouted Rainbow Dash said, angry.
"I know, could you puff me up?" Twilight asked, currently being a pancake.
"Sure," Rainbow responded, pulling an air pump out of nowhere and puffing Twilight up.
They quickly began following the tank, which was now going at Mach 10, quickly catching up on it, Rainbow dropped Twilight onto the out of control tank. Slapping open the tank's hatch after saying (and I quote) 'I like ya cut, G', she pulled Lucky out, before he told her (And I ONCE AGAIN quote) 'I like ya cut, T' before throwing her to the back, leaving her clinging to the 1944 Petrov HS-100 like her life depended on it, which it kinda did.
"Twi, oh Twi, ya just had to try and take my tank, didn't you?" Lucky asked before swerving the tank trying to send Twilight flying (and not in a good way!)
Unfortunately for Twilight, the Police and the Royal Guard happened to be hot on the trail of the Rogue 1944 Petrov HS-100.
As Twilight looked back up, she swore she saw Pinkie manning (Ponying?) the machine guns, all at the same time. Of course, this was Pinkie, and Twilight knew better than to question Pinkie. But the thing that concerned her more was the fact that Pinkie was firing at the ragtag chasers of Tank. But it wasn't bullets that she was firing, dear reader, no she was firi-
"Cupcakes Silly!"
"P-Pinkie get out of here!"
Okie-dokie-lokie!"
Thank God, now as Pinkie just said, she was firing cupcakes at the Po-po. Unfortunately for Twilight, however, that meant that she was getting hit with one hundred cupcakes per second, and the crazed look on Pinkie's face suggested she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Even more unfortunately, the tank was somehow at Mach 30 now, and SPEEDING up. After all, seeing as this was Lucky Chance, she hoped he would come to his senses.
"Silly Twilight, the author's not gonna stop our adventure until the chapter has at least a thousand words!" Pinkie told Twilight, while Twilight wrote it off as Pinkie being Pinkie. Unfortunately, the adventure wouldn't be over, and Twilight had a headache, the headache quickly clearing after she noticed that the tank was heading towards the center of Town. Twilight had to act fast, as the tank was specifically heading towards the book stall. As she closed her eyes, she felt a swerve. Opening her eyes, she saw they were headed away from the book stall, before turning and noticing that, oh dear, they were headed for the market.
"Lucky! Stop!" Twilight screamed in both terror, rage, and complete confusion at how Lucky was making a tank drive at Mach 15 now.
"Once again, Twilight! You're not my mother!" Lucky responded, clearly hellbent on causing as much chaos as he possibly could.
"Lucky! If you don't get out of the tank, I swear to fu-" Twilight was then cut off by a hundred and fifty four screams as a hundred and fifty four ponies jumped out of the way of a crazed Trotsan and his Russian-made tank. By this point, the police had set out a spike strip.
"Lucky! They laid out a spike strip! Just stop!"
"No! This is a tank! Tanks don't have wheels!"
True to Lucky's word, the tank rolled over the spike strip as if it were a minor speedbump, but one of the small, wide ones you'd see in a residential area, not those evil, tall and thin ones you encounter at the hospital. The police had a stunned look, as they didn't expect a TANK, which has TREADS, to roll over a spike strip like it didn't have wheels.
Then, suddenly, the tank crashed into the police station.
++++++
"Well, Lucky. Are you any bit apologetic about this?" Twilight asked, still dumbfounded how a tank could go Mach 50.
"No. No I'm not," Lucky replied, "And I'm going to do this again with an M1 Abrams! Or a Challenger!"
"Of course you are. What else could I expect of you?"
The end.