Just Your Average Day At Work
"1000 years ago, Princess Luna fell into despair. Her anger and resentment manifested into the Nightmare! It festered, feeding on her negativity before finally collapsing within herself. In her stead rose forth our queen, Nightmare Moon!"
A lone caravan clattered on the cobblestone roads.
"Her laugh, evil and insane, and her eyes filled with a hunger for power. Princess Celestia, sister to the weak Luna, attempted to stop Nightmare Moon. Even going as far as using the crystals of legends, the Elements of Harmony!"
It traveled in near pitch darkness, a small flickering lantern the only source of light.
"They say the battle lasted a full day, but in the end Nightmare Moon was victorious! The Elements scattered or destroyed and Princess Celestia locked away in the deepest dungeons in Canterlot."
The driver of this caravan looked up to see the massive walls of the capital.
"Nopony has seen her since. Some say she was banished, starved or died from the horrific torture Nightmare Moon submitted her to. Whatever the story, the same thing will ring true for years to come."
The massive enchanted doors swung open, allowing for the caravan to make its way through.
"No matter how dark the night, Celestia will guide us. Her light is precious and should be treated as relics of a forgotten age, because it is! Even Nightmare Moon recognizes this as fact."
Ponies waved at the passing caravan, and the driver returned the gestures with a wide smile.
"Our Queen's oppressive nature has been lessened over the years and even has become more benevolent recently. Churches to the Celestial Light have been sponsored and opened by her all over the country."
As the rickety wooden caravan made its way to the center square, other unused lanterns banged against the pink paint.
"The only thing left to fear are the monsters that roam outside our walls. That's why we need heroes to save and protect us. Heroes to nurture and entertain us."
Ponies in all sorts of garb were gathering at a particular building.
"But you know what the most important job in the entirety of Equestria is? A Merchant. They know the roads like the back of their hoof and they deliver heroes and mail safely."
The drive made a noise and the caravan started to slow.
"Without them, Equestria would've collapsed a long time ago."
Pinkie Pie smiled widely as her caravan rolled to a full stop. Out of all the hero groups, she liked the Bards the best. Their stories and songs brought joy and laughter to those who would listen. It certainly made the long journeys the ever more comfortable.
"And we're here!" Pinkie exclaimed before bouncing off with a big spring. Her passengers, a Bard and a civilian with her daughter climbed out of the back. The little filly was looking around with wonder and her eyes seemed to grow every time they landed on something new.
"I really must thank you, Miss Pie." Lute String, the Bard Pinkie picked up at Fillydelphia, bowed low. His wing held aloft a bag of bits which Pinkie grabbed gratefully.
"No problem, Lutey! Listening to your stories really made this trip feel special!" Pinkie giggled before sweeping the surprised Bard into a bear hug.
"Miss Pie, I want you to have this." A soft but emotional voice broke Pinkie out of her snuggly hug. The mother had tears in her eyes and with an outstretched wing, she held an orange crystal that glowed with the light of the Sun. A Sun Crystal. The rarest ore to exist in Equestria and the most valuable.
"Oh no, Salsa! You keep that, please! For me?" Pinkie added with big puppy dog eyes when the mare tried to argue. She lasted a full five seconds before relenting. The pink mare watched as the mother and daughter said their thanks again before trotting away.
"Welp, looks like it's time to stock up on supplies!" Pinkie skipped back to her caravan before freezing in midair, much to the confusion of nearby ponies. "Where did Lutey go?" With blue eyes, she looked around, but couldn't find the Bard anywhere. "Oh well."
***
Pinkie's caravan, known for it's bright pink paint job and it's mysterious steed carrying the caravan itself. Many would ask her what it was and the pink mare would reply with a giggle, "that's just Longshadow!"
She was also never seen with three or less spare lanterns hanging from hooks. Never once. And Pinkie would like to keep it that way. Only one pony had asked why and the rumors after the entire ordeal, terrified everypony into not asking.
Longshadow pulled up to the Grand Bazaar, a large square in which tons of lanterns have been lit and lots of tents have been pitched. Pinkie bounced around with a serene smile on her face, checking the prices on several items before finally coming to a stop at a green tent.
"If it ain't the pink devil herself. What can I do for you?" Package Wrap, a gray stallion with a permanent scowl, leaned forwards with a detest look.
Pinkie wasn't deterred. "Wrappy! How're the kids? What I need are two potions and uhmm... I heard that your wife was sick, do you want a cupcake? A pistol would be pretty handy too, with ammunition of course. I have three cupcakes at all times, blueberry, raspberry, or banana? I definitely need another lantern, almost ran out last run! I recommend the blueberry, it's fresher then the others, yep. Maybe a magic staff or a lute, whichever is cheaper..." Pinkie finally trailed off.
"The kids are fine. My wife is too. No cupcakes, thank you, we're a gluten-free family. Here's your stuff, that'll be 12 bits, the lute being cheaper today." Package promptly then dropped the stuff aforementioned in a heap. Pinkie grinned, paying before grabbing everything as if they were weightless, and then bounced away.
Instead of going back to her caravan she immediately went to the Ringway Inn. This was where all the heroes gathered for some reason and this was where the Merchants would go as well, if only to get passengers. Pinkie kicked the door open, much to everypony's surprise, excepting the bartenders who saw her moments earlier, and then made her way to an empty table. She laid out her trinkets on the table and leaned back in her chair.
All she had to do was wait. And sure enough...
"Are you perhaps Pinkamena Diane Pie? The famed Merchant who braved the Crystal Empire?" Pinkie looked at the newcomer with a curious tilt and a creepy smile. He was a young stallion, and had a silvery coat. No markings or injuries and no haunted look in his eyes. The fresh aura that radiated off of him made the other heroes look at him with a certain sympathy.
"It's Pinkie Pie! Not Pinkamena. Never Pinkamena." The intensity with those words made the stallion choke on his words. He tried opening his mouth again before closing it again and then stumbling back to where he came from. Whoops, she didn't mean to get so angry.
"Ah, one less troublemaker. The name's Plexiglass, an Alchemist. I heard from a little dove, you're a Merchant." Another stallion, from they way he carried himself, Pinkie would guess he's quite popular with the ladies.
"A dove told you that!? That's amazing!" Pinkie squealed like a schoolfilly, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "I use to know a pony who could talk to animals, I never thought I would meet another one!"
"Oh dear, I think I mistook you for somepony else, I'm terribly sorry. If you could just excuse me..." He was gone before Pinkie could blink, and she could blink pretty fast!
It took a few moments before another pony came up to her, this time a mare, a mare covered in heavy plate armor. "Miss Pie, it's a pleasure. I've heard of your exploits from across Equestria and would you be willing to let me ride to Manehatten?"
"I could." Pinkie merely smiled.
"Please Miss Pie. The Manehattenites have been asking for help against the monsters for a year now, and I want to do my part!" The Knight looked on with steely determination. Pinkie's smile turned more genuine.
"I'll take you." The mare looked so happy and she opened her mouth but Pinkie interrupted. "Under one condition. Which cupcake do you want? I have blueberry, raspberry, and banana! I recommend blueberry, it's more fresh."
"Oh, uh, I'll think I'll have the blueberry one then." The mare tentatively grabbed the cupcake Pinkie had procured from her frizzy mane. Pinkie watched with earnest eyes as the Knight took a bite, then another, and another, and then within moments, it was gone. "That was delicious! I don't think I've had a cupcake that good before!"
"Of course not silly filly! It's a patented Pinkie Pie recipe and can't be found anywhere else!" Pinkie giggled and then booped the Knight on the nose. "What's your name so I can throw you a party later!"
"A party..?" A vigorous nod. "Oh, well, you can call me Rigid Stance."
"Well Rigey, do you want anything I have here?" Pinkie gestured at the various equipment on the table.
"I can take these?"
"Yeperooni! Only take them if you need them though, other ponies might still come."
The Knight nodded before grabbing the pistol and it's ammunition and stuffing them into her saddlebags. She then brought out a bag of bits and hoofed it to Pinkie. "Please, I insist, take it."
"It's alright! I don't need money, I just want laughs! Everypony should laugh, no matter where they are." The conviction Pinkie imbued left Rigid speechless, she even started tilting in one direction. Pinkie pretended not to notice.
The two of them sat and talked for a solid hour. Talking about things like the latest order from the Queen to the terrible news from Van Hoover. A couple of drinks were ordered and Pinkie insisted on paying, taking no for an answer. It was on the third drink did Rigid ask the question.
"So when are we going?"
"In a moment."
"How long is that?"
"In a moment."
A moment later, a white stallion in purple robes galloped up to them before bowing deeply. "Please take me to Manehatten! I'l pay you to take me there! Please, I beg of you!"
Naturally, Rigid Stance was confused. Pinkie merely laughed and patted the Priest's back. "Of course! We're actually going to go right now!"
"Oh thank you, thank you!" The stallion then proceeded to get up and grabbed Pinkie's hoof without any warning and started shaking it violently. "My name is Luminescence, but everypony calls me Lumi, and I'm a Celestial Light Priest! Thank you so much!"
"Tcha, think nothing of it! Now come on, I've got one more stop before we head out." Pinkie broke free out of Lumi's grasp and then started bouncing away. Her two passengers following. Out the door of the Inn and left towards a big board. It was plain and wooden but was lit up with two lanterns, declaring how important it was. Nowadays, nopony would light something up unless it was important. Above the board was a large sign written in fancy calligraphy that said Queen's Commisions, it was so fancy that it made Pinkie laugh every time she saw it.
"Uh, is she okay?" Pinkie's ear twitched at the sound of Lumi whispering.
"I think so?" Came the whispered reply.
Pinkie ignored them and with a professional selective process, she chose a paper. It said;
Manehatten is calling for a package delivery.
Two Potions.
One Lute.
Payment will be given upon delivery.
"Okay, time to go!" Pinkie bounced away, leaving her passengers to scramble after her. They nearly lost her several times, but they finally caught up to her at her caravan. Lumi choked when he saw Longshadow waiting and started pointing at it fearfully.
"You alright?" Rigid waved a hoof over his non responsive features. "Miss Pie, I think your...creature broke the Priest."
"Huh?" Pinkie did a backflip off her caravan and landed in front of the two, the Knight stumbled back but Lumi still didn't move. He only broke out of his trance when he heard the pink mare giggling. "Oh you silly filly," "Not a filly..." "that's just Longshadow! He's my bestest friend, he goes where I go!"
"Buh...but that's a Tantabus!" He whimpered, fumbling for a little sun emblem around his neck.
"A Tantabus!" Rigid Stance made her name proud and drew her newly acquired pistol. "Miss Pie, I think you should step away and let me handle this."
"If you hurt Longshadow..." Pinkie's voice dropped dangerously low and she let her sentence hang, allowing for her two passengers to imagine what she would do. Rigid froze and slowly put her pistol back while Lumi continued to whimper. The three of them stared at each other with very contrasting expressions, before Pinkie's smile snapped back. "Let's go!"
She clambered to the drivers seat while her two passengers wearily made their way to the back of the caravan. Before they knew it, the caravan was moving to the large gate that led to the dangerous outside. While they waited for the large doors to open, another caravan pulled up and the stallion called out.
"Miss Pie, we meet again!"
"So we do Mr. Watcher! How are the kids?" The two caravans were side by side, close enough that if Pinkie were to reach out, she could touch the other caravan. Two hushed voices in the back indicated that Watcher was carrying at least two passengers.
"The kids are fine Miss Pie! And before you ask, yes I would love a cupcake! Do you have a banana?" The stallion laughed jovially when Pinkie pulled out said cupcake with a flourish. Watcher was a simple Merchant, always taking the safe and secure routes, even if they had the lowest of rewards. It also doesn't help that he carries the caravan himself instead of hiring somepony else or having a magical creature like Pinkie did, although being a gray earth pony did balance it out somewhat.
"Say, Miss Pie, where you heading out today?"
"I'm going to Manehatten, delivering a Priest and a Knight!"
"Hey, I'm going to Hollow Shades! It's on the way so we could travel together!" By now the giant doors have opened and the two caravans started moving at a sustainable pace.
"I wouldn't have it any other way! By the by, Mr. Watcher, who you carrying? Any Bards?" Pinkie leaned over the railing, sporting an excited grin.
"Sadly, not this time Miss Pie." There was an aw. "I'm hauling a Skirmisher and a Loremaster. Old friends apparently."
"That's nice." The two of them fell to silence, the dark woods in front of them casting an eery mood on the passengers. Only the light of a single lantern, shared by the two caravans, gave the ponies peace. It wasn't before long the road split into two. This part of the journey was possibly the most dangerous of a Merchant's job. Do they take the left, the shortcut, a crazy road that requires many lanterns but cuts the time to their destination by half, or take the right, less lanterns and more time. But no matter which way, there was always a possibility of a monster attack or bandits or any mishap actually.
"The shortcut seems the most plausible." A purple stallion poked his head out, the glasses signifying his Loremaster status. "You have seven lanterns between the two of you."
"Plus if you'll meet any monsters," there was a pause when Rigid glanced at Longshadow but then quickly continued when she noticed Pinkie's glare. "You have me and that Skirmisher. We'll be fine."
"That remains to be seen. Miss Pie?" Watcher looked at Pinkie, she had never been wrong in her choice and had even saved lives before.
"Right."
"What! Why?" Another pony, a rust red mare burst out of Watcher's caravan. The Skirmisher, Pinkie surmised. "We have the weapons and the light! We should go!"
"Hey, who are the Merchants here? If Miss Pie says right, we go right." Watcher started to go right, Longshadow followed.
***
The two stopped in the middle of a snowy clearing. The problem with eternal night was that it was constantly snowing. Many scientists have exploded, in the figurative sense, trying to figure out why this was the case, but the answer was always a resounding 'magic'.
Pinkie Pie dropped the last log into the firepit and Watcher brought out his flint and steel, and together the two of them made a fire worthy of surviving the blistering cold. The two caravans were placed around the clearing so their bulk could stop most of the wind. The six of them then settled down in various comfortable spots and got ready for a long night, or a long rest in this case.
"So..." Rigid started, her hoof drawing circles in the snow.
"Hi, my name is Luminescence, but everypony calls me Lumi, and I'm a Celestial Light Priest! What are your names?" Lumi smiled enthusiastically as if this was his first time meeting somepony. An unexperienced Merchant might guess that this was even his first time outside in the wild, but Pinkie could see the signs.
"Firecracker."
"And you may call me Weathered Pages."
"I'm Rigid Stance."
"My name is Pinkie Pie! Do you want a cupcake?" There was a chorus of 'noes and no thank yous.' And Rigid held up her still uneaten one. Pinke deflated and she curled up into a ball.
"I have known Miss Pie for many years and it would be unwise to not accept her cupcakes, not to mention they are delicious." There was a hesitation and then soon everypony ended up with a cupcake.
"I must say, this truly is the most delectable treat I have ever partook in." Weathered took another bite and made an appreciating sound. Pinkie was bouncing with unrestrained glee as she watched the ponies enjoy their cupcakes. "Miss Pie? I have a query."
"You're queer? OMG, I would never have guessed! Congratulations!" Pinkie grabbed and shook the poor Loremaster's hoof.
"Pink Pony, he just said he wanted to ask you a question." Firecracker mumbled through her cupcake, her cheeks ballooned the fit the stuffed dessert. The mare was shorter than your average pony, but Pinkie noticed the sparks her horn spouted at times and noticed the firepower. Her companion, Weathered Pages, was the opposite. Tall and lanky, his horn glowed with a weak aura, powerful enough to carry a book or two.
"Well why didn't he say so!" Pinkie let go and the Loremaster withdrew his still shaking hoof, looking very frazzled.
"egh...my apologies, I wasn't forward enough. My question is to why we are taking the long path instead of taking the shortcut." Weathered straightened his glasses and looked directly at the pink mare.
"Yeah, I was going to ask that too." Rigid finished the last of her cupcake. Lumi was still working on his own.
"Oh you silly fillies," "Still not a filly..." "I got a twitch!" There was a pause.
"...right. No explanation. Well, this is going to be fun." Firecracker swallowed and stood up. She pulled out duel pistols, handcrafted Pinkie noted, and went out into the gloom.
"Where is she going?" Lumi asked with a frightened voice, his hoof never leaving his sun charm.
"No doubt patrolling. When she gets restless, she has a habit of making rounds." Weathered explained but then turned his attention back to Pinkie. "Miss Pie, I believe your explanation has many holes, would you care to elaborate?"
"Don't bother Mr. Pages, Miss Pie has never given up her secrets in all of the years I've known her, I doubt she would give them up now." Watcher said with amusement. He remembered about a year ago when he was carrying a pair of Alchemists and Pinkie had a Loremaster and the three of them ganged up on Pinkie, demanding and prodding to find some explanation. Four hours later, they collapsed in exhaustion and Pinkie just giggled.
"Hmph, fine. I shall take my leave and perhaps get some respite." The Loremaster rose up, gave a glare to Pinkie, and then trotted towards Watcher's caravan before disappearing inside.
"My apologies Miss Pie." Watcher said without much meaning, knowing exactly what she would say.
"No worries!" Pinkie giggled and started playing with the snow, making little snowpones and the like. Lumi joined in after a while and Watcher and Rigid watched in silence.
***
The two Merchants had awoken early and started on the road again, the uneven terrain waking the rest.
"Ugh...what time is it?" Rigid Stance poked her head into the driver's chair, looking a bit haunted by the lantern's light. Their second one of the trip.
"Early." Pinkie said with an easy smile.
"Great." Her head disappeared.
There was some muttering from Watcher's caravan before falling back into silence. Watcher himself looked rested and pleased. Pinkie could empathize, there are just some passengers out there who wouldn't stop talking or messing about. Luckily this new batch was kind enough to not 'share' their exploits with their drivers.
"Oh, umm, Miss Pie? Could I sit with you?" It was Lumi this time.
"Sure!" Pinkie shifted over and patted a space next to her. "Tell auntie Pinkie your problems."
"...Auntie?" He shook his head. "Um, anyways, I want to hear about Longshadow, if you don't mind." He was surprised to see Pinkie giggling. "What's funny?"
"Oh nothing, you just remind me of an old friend. Do you want a cupcake before we get started?" Lumi nodded and Pinkie pulled out a blueberry cupcake and gave it to him. "Longshadow is a Tantabus, yes, but he isn't like the other ones. You see, Black Snooty gave him to me as a gift when I saved her life years ago. Longshadow's been with me since." As if on cue, the shadowy steed nickered softly. Lumi looked on in awe, he didn't know Tantabusses could make noises like that.
"Black Snooty?"
"Oh, that's my nickname for her. I suppose you would know her as Queen Nightmare Moon."
"YOU KNOW NIGHTBLB BMM!?" His shout was interrupted by Pinkie shoving her hoof in his mouth, but the damage was done. Rustling could be heard from Watcher's caravan while he himself ignored them much to Pinkie's gratitude. An annoyed Rigid shouted for them to be more quiet. But it wasn't the passengers Pinkie was worried about, it was the forest. She motioned for Watcher and Longshadow to stop and made shushing noises and when everything was silent, she stood up and pricked her ears for any movement. The starless sky and the crowded forest surrounded the isolated caravans. Shadows seemed to play in the lantern's light, making Lumi flinch every so often. They waited like that for five minutes before she finally came back down.
"It's okay, we can keep on going." The two caravans erupted in grumbles and annoyed noises. Watcher blinked gratefully to Pinkie and she just bowed her head in acknowledgment before turning back to the Priest. "Lumi, you got to be more careful than that."
"Sorry sorry!" Lumi looked like an absolute mess.
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay. Just...be less loud, okay?" Pinkie smiled softly and procured yet another cupcake. She had no doubt Lumi thought of her as magical or something with all the cupcakes she was pulling out, but if it's to make him smile, then it's worth it.
"Sorry...sorry." He took a deep breath and a bite and then several more of each before he finally calmed down. "...you know Nightmare Moon?"
"Yep! It was a long time ago though, I don't want to talk about it." Pinkie frowned slightly as she fell into silence.
"Do you know why I became a Priest of the Celestial Light?"
"To spread the Light or something like that?"
"No, no, most ponies think that, but no, that wasn't my reason. I wanted to belong somewhere. I was orphaned at a really young age, my parents were heroes and their caravan got caught. I didn't know them very well, so it didn't really affect me that much, but now I was at an orphanage. It was every colt for themselves there, I hated it. When I finally got my cutie mark, I left and never looked back. I enrolled into the hero program, because guildwork seemed boring." He took another bite. It really was the most delicious thing he'd ever had. "Anyway, the hero program sent me to be a Priest because I didn't make the other ones. After I got my degree, I was sent off to the nearest church, and I did it, I thought. I belong. It didn't last long though, many of the Priests didn't like me much, so I took up traveling. Going with Merchants to visit other Churches and towns, seeing ponies and those who believed in the Light. It was exhilarating! This trip will be my sixth, but unlike the other five times, this one is important. My Head Priest said that it was urgent that all Priests who could, should go to Manehatten. So yeah."
"Sheesh Lumi, dropping that much on a pony could be fatal you know." Pinkie giggled lightheartedly. The young stallion had the right of mind to blush slightly and mumble out an apology. "No worries, little guy! There are tons like you out there, in fact, I'm one of those as well! Yessir, I was in the orphanage too. Became a hero, first an Alchemist although I called myself a Gypsy, the hero organization didn't like that. Then I became a Bard because it looked fun, and it was! But being a Merchant was really the best place for me, to travel and help ponies from all over Equestria. It's what I love the most about this job."
Lumi nodded in silent awe and the two quickly fell into a comfortable silence, watching the shadows flicker in the lantern light. Watcher was trotting along and the three passengers still seemed to be asleep or at least very quiet. This was another reason Pinkie loved this job. The peace and quiet of traveling down a road.
***
The two caravans had been traveling down the road for nearly four hours since the last rest period, but both Longshadow and Watcher were going strong. You really had to admire an earth pony's strength. The passengers were chattering amongst themselves and Pinkie had participated earlier, talking about pastries and how those magical doors work that keep the monsters out, but eventually withdrew into herself. A break from socializing if you will.
Then a fluttering broke her inner peace. Pinkie looked up and saw a phoenix descending, wearing an urgent look.
"You have a phoenix, Miss Pie? Perhaps I misjudged you." Weathered commented. Everypony was now looking at the mythical bird with various looks.
"Philomena, what's wrong?" Pinkie stretched out her hoof and the bird landed, albeit a hasty and panicked one.
"Philomena, isn't that Celestia's phoenix name? You named your phoenix after Celestia's?" Lumi gasped out loud.
"Isn't that illegal or something?" Firecracker asked while simultaneously scratching her head.
"I think it is." Rigid agreed.
Watcher didn't say anything, merely quickened his pace. Longshadow matched.
"Shhhhh! I'm trying to hear what she's saying, and no, it isn't illegal because this IS Celestia's bird." Pinkie ignored the utter shock on the passengers faces. After a few rounds of squawking and shrieking and Pinkie asking hushed questions, did Pinkie finally let everypony else into the conversation. "The Tantabus are coming."
The two caravans lurched as the two steeds sped up to a gallop, not a 100% one, but fast enough to consider it fast. After regaining their senses from the sudden shift in speed, Rigid Stance and Firecracker brought out their weaponry and started scanning the dark forest. Pinkie Pie, famous for never delivering without a pony lost, brought out her Pinkie-patented Party Cannon, use only in emergencies.
The two parties stayed like that for a while, scanning the various shadows for any movement, then they heard it. A howl so chilling, their breaths became visible. Several more howls answered the first one, and they seem to be everywhere. The two fighters were pivoting every so often, glancing in every direction, scanning everything, wanting to be prepared for a sudden strike. Weathered Pages had folded the caravan's canvas over himself so he wasn't visible, while Luminescence was curled into a ball, whimpering and gripping his sun charm.
Just as it started, the howls stopped, leaving the two caravans in utter silence. Pinkie hated this part, it was always this part.
The bushes and trees exploded in pitch black shadow monsters, darker then the already dark night. Pinkie rapidly counted in the single second they were in view, and saw seven of them. Six Tantabusses and one Ursa Minor. This wasn't good. The caravan shuddered when a Tantabus tried to knock it over. A crack and a pained growl indicated that either Rigid or Firecracker shot it. Then right after, the whole forest rang out with the sounds of fighting.
Shooting, cursing, yells and growls, whimpers and roars, the wood creaking, the clicks of the guns, the clattering of hooves, and the loudest one of them all, the Party Cannon. Pinkie wheeled it around, aimed and fired moments before the Ursa Minor could collide with Watcher. The star creature was blown back and smacked into a tree. It soon shook itself off and gave chase.
There was a bright explosion, casting the two caravans in more light than an entire day of traveling, but most importantly, casting light on the creatures who thrive in darkness. Unfortunately, just like all explosions, it disappeared in a smoke cloud. Lumi whimpered.
Pinkie wheeled her cannon around and fired, straight into a Tantabus, sending it flying into the forest. While she loaded the cannon, she simultaneously dug around in her trunk and brought out a potion. She called out to Watcher and then threw. Luckily, the two had been in fights like this many times and the Merchant knew exactly what to do. Without stopping his mad gallop, he grabbed the vial and chugged it before someone could say 'Come on everypony, smile, smile, smile.'
The effect was immediate and he roared with a potion-induced fury. He charged away, trampling a Tantabus who dared to get in his way, and was soon out of sight. Pinkie's caravan was left alone to the slaughter, but this was nothing new. She fired her Party Cannon again, slowing the rapidly approaching Ursa Minor, before leaning down to Longshadow and whispered something into his ear. Rigid called back saying she ran out of bullets and then proceeded to draw her sword, but before she could hit the nearest one, the caravan lurched forwards at inhumane speeds as Longshadow started to blur with energy only a Tantabus could produce, if stimulated right.
Pinkie was being pushed against a sturdy pole, built exactly for this, from the force. Lumi was in the same position, but Rigid wasn't. Thankfully, her name actually reflected her abilities as a Knight, and thus wasn't moving anywhere. As the seconds ticked by, the horde behind them gradually fell into the distance, and then after a solid minute they were gone and Longshadow slowed to a brisk trot. The sudden drop in speed had Pinkie and her passengers tumbling to the floor.
"Urk...that was...not fun." Rigid rose, rubbing her neck with a hoof. Lumi attempted to do the same but ended back on the caravan floor in a heap.
"Don't worry, we lost them hours ago."
"Hours!?" Lumi jolted upwards in shock. "First your Tantabus, then Philomena, then Longshadow again! What else do you have up your sleeves!"
"Nothing, you silly filly! I don't have sleeves." Pinkie giggled, before turning around and patted Longshadow on his back for a job well done.
"I'm not a filly!" Lumi yelled, his sudden outburst surprised a still disoriented Rigid, sending her stumbling around, clutching her head. Pinkie, however, wasn't surprised, didn't even bat an eye. She saw the signs. Turning around slowly to face the Priest who was shaking uncontrollably, his eyes wide and unfocused
"Luminescence, would you like a cupcake?" Pinkie offered the treat. The young stallion nodded dumbly and took the cupcake, silent tears dripping down.
***
The carriage clattered on cobblestone, drawing ever closer to it's destination.
The outer shell, bruised and battered, scratched and scraped.
Semi-broken Lanterns, hanging on the side.
A Merchant and two passengers, tired but alive.
The enchanted doors opened and in went the caravan.
Welcome to Manehatten.