Twilight of the Dead

by PleaseDoNotDeleteMe

First published

Twilight accidentally starts a zombie apocalypses on Nightmare Night.

It's midnight on Nightmare Night, and Anon is fast asleep in his home. That is until Twilight Sparkle bursts into his home requesting his help in dealing with a zombie apocalypse.

Based on a 4chan thread from last year: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/39241564/

[Window Crash]

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The sound of breaking glass echoes up from downstairs, awakening you from your slumber. It was Nightmare night and you had specifically told the ponies you had no interest in participating in something so childish. You had even hung signs around your house letting everyone know in plain ponish (which you still thought was a stupid name) that your house had no candy. It seemed someone had taken offense to that and was now breaking into your house, you grabbed the gun you kept in your nightstand and rushed downstairs to meet the unknown intruder. Only to see a familiar purple alicorn in your kitchen surrounded by shards and looking rather panicked and out of breath.

>”What the fu… Twilight!? What are you doing in my house? It’s the middle of the ni—" You start only for Twilight to interrupt you.

“No time to explain Anon. Right now I nee—“

>”Bull fucking shit there’s no time to explain! Get the fuck out before I call the cops!” You shout.

Twilight lets out a long sigh, then takes a deep breath and starts to explain herself.

“Ok, I’ll try as fast as I can." Her eyes dart around your kitchen like she is looking for something "Well to make a long story short I kind of. Accidentally… killedSpike.

>”YOU FUCKING KILLED SPIKE!? WHY WOULD YO—“

“THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! Let me finish. After I killed him. ACCIDENTALLY!!!" She emphasized. "I tried to bring him back. And it worked… only not really. And, making a long story short again, it sort of, kind of… spread… to other ponies.”

You blinked.

“Anyway I came here because I need your metal bang bang sticks you showed up with that you kept insisting weren’t magic? I think they’ll work.”

You stood there flabbergasted at that for a minute or two before finally opening your mouth to speak.

>"Oh sure. I'm always ready to use my bang bang sticks."

“That’s great to hear Anon." She said while letting out a sigh of relief. "I’m so glad you’re willing to help me. I couldn’t go to Celestia or Luna since Necromancy is banned and I would be… well that’s not important right now. For now, we should just focus on contacting this as much as possible."

The princess of friendship then puts her front hooves up on the counter, turning her head side to side and looking around your kitchen.

“So... what kind of weapons do you have and how much ammo can you spare?”

>"Hold your horses their princess." You said with a smug grin on your face from your own pun. >"Before we go any further, I think it's best if you let me know exactly what type of zombies we're dealing with."

Twilight tied her mane back into a ponytail and slipped some glasses onto her muzzle while projecting a diagram to go along with her explanation onto your fridge.

“From what I’ve observed so far, they seem to be instinctually attracted to large groups of ponies. Like moths to a flame.”

The diagram shows a large group of green ponies moving towards a small group of pink ponies with glowing pink auras. Before long many of the pink ponies were bitten and consumed a few turning green.

“Whether they are drawn to: heat, life energy, love, happiness, or something else entirely is something I don’t know. For obvious reasons, the study of necromancy has been banned since before Nightmare Moon’s banishment. I was only able to sort of get this spell from Discord, though it was only one page of a much larger book. Likely by design.”

>”If they’re drawn to large groups, can we use that somehow?”

“Maybe… but first we need to decide where to set up base.”

Princess Twilight Sparkle took off her glasses, slipping them into whatever pocket dimension ponies had access to. You never had gotten a clear answer for that question and it still bugged you to this day. But there were clearly more pressing matters to attend to first at the moment.

>"Should we fortify here or someplace else?"

“It’s your house you tell me." She shrugged. "I have no idea how many guns you have or how many entrances this place has. To answer what I can though, the incident started in Ponyville Cemetery on the outskirts of town near Fluttershy’s home. From the—"

A sudden panicked realization dawns on her face.

“OH MY CELESTIA I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT FLUTTERSHY!” She grabbed you by the front of your shirt pressing her muzzle right against your nose.

“We have to save her! She doesn’t stand a chance! And Pinkiepie is next closest. Then Rarity and…”

She starts hyperventilating having a panic attack. Her panicked eyes madly dart around as her breaths heaved in and out like certain hentai's you watched in your old life. The longer it went on, the less sexy it was, and became more annoying. You started to think about how do you calm her down, and came up with one logical solution. You reare back your hand and slap her with the might of god, a satisfied smirk plastered over your face.

>"Calm down Twilight!"

You slapped her again just for good measure.

>"Calm the fuck down! We can only get through this if you're calm!"

You go for another but your arm is enveloped in purple aura.

>"Twilight, she's friends with the spirit of chaos and surrounded by a horde of animals willing to fight tooth and nail for her. She's probably one of the safest ponies out there."

Twilight rubbed her reddened cheek, her muscles seaming to relax and a slight blush crossing her muzzle.

“Thanks Anon, I needed that.”

>”Panicking won't save her. We need to stick together and get to work heading downtown to her cottage.”

The two of you strapped up, putting all the supplies and weapons you could carry into backpacks and saddle bags respectively. Before heading out, you give Twilight a revolver to protect herself with. Finally, you openned the door and step out of your home into the nightmare yet to come.

The first thing that struck you was how quiet things were. You were first picturing hordes of undead tearing apart the streets with bodies everywhere, but instead, there was just an oppressive silence and a bit of fog. Many Nightmare Night decorations are still up, though eerily nopony is out. You’d never seen Ponyville this dead. The only noises aside from your pounding heart was Twilight’s hoof clops behind you and the slight hum of her magic.

That was until you heard a rustling noise from one of the game stalls with a doll on the counter. Shouldering your weapon and pointing towards the potential threat. You marched forward imagining how brave you'd look in front of her. You'd had a thing for Twilight for years now, and now with the end of the world at hand, you figured it was only a matter of time before one or both of you got bitten. So it was now or never to make your move, in more ways than one. You slowly approached the stand step by step.

Peaking over the table you saw behind the counter was a young colt blank flank dressed as a pirate chewing on something rotten. He didn't seem to notice you yet. It would've been so easy to pull the trigger, but The sound of a shot might attract nearby zombies. You adjusted your grip and thwacked him on the head as hard as you can with the buttstock of your weapon. You hear a crack noise and knock it out. Turning around you see tears stream down Twilight’s face as she lowers the gun.

“Anon, t-th- this is all my fault.” She sobbed. “Seeing that kid, and Spike, and thinking about Fluttershy. I-I don’t think I ca—“

You rapped your arms around her lovingly.

>”Shhhh shhh. It’s ok Twilight. We’ll get through this together.”

As she sobs in your arms you reached around and rub at her nethers. She eeped then slowly leaned into your embrace with her cheeks burning.

“A-Anon. This is hardly the time or p-p-place. Sh- shouldn’t we at least find somewhere safer than the middle of the street where we aren’t in danger?”

You were about to speak when you heard a bunch of hood steps coming from one end of the street. Almost like a stampede. You pull your fingers from Twilight’s warm wet mare hood, her stringy fluids still coating your fingers as you insert them into your trigger guard. If nothing else you were determined to stop these zombies just so you could have sex with her. You and Twilight hid underneath the table cloth of one of the Nightmare Night stands, listening to the hoofsteps pass by. Suddenly an idea dawned on you. Twilight Sparkle was one of the strongest magic users in town, if not all of Equestria.

>[whispering]: “Hold on. Why are we sneaking around like this? Why not just teleport to Fluttershy’s house, the Pinkiepie’s, and so on?”

“Because the raise the dead spell took most of my energy and I haven’t had a long rest to get it back.” She whispered back, a bit louder and harsher. “I had to hoof it to your house. Really all I can do now is levitate things. At most, I could probably put up a shield for a bit, but it wouldn’t be as strong as normal. Even then, if it turns out they’re drawn to magic, something like a two person teleport might draw everyone in town. If nothing else the sound sure would. So we’re doing this the old fashion way for now.”

The horde appeared to have passed on by the time Twilight finished her explanation. Thankfully none of the zombified equines seemed to have heard you two. You stood up and looked around just to be safe though.

Over the course of the night, both of you manage to doge and avoid more infected. Ducking into alleys or finding alternative routes around. Eventually, though it wasn’t your original goal. You found yourself on a street that leads right to Carousel Boutique.

"This could be a good opportunity to check up on Rarity so you don’t need to come back later." Twilight Sparkle said.

However, in between you and Rarity’s shop was a massive bloated infected in a torn costume and vomit streaming down the front of her body. Its coat was a sickly light green and its body bulged like a water balloon suspended on two thin stick like legs like an elephant seel propped up on four sticks. You watched it moan and stumble about, eyes laisily looking from stand to stand, occasionally it would dig its muzzle into a bag of candy and start chowing down. After observing it for a bit, the fattie didn’t seam to be doing anything aside from milling about looking for food.

>”Twilight, think you can levitate one of the decorations over to draw her attention somewhere else?”

Twilight nods and floats over a ghost decoration. But the fattie doesn’t seam interested. After a few more attempts it becomes clear this zombie wasn’t interested in the decorations. Then an idea dawns on you.

>”Twilight, do you still have your 20% off burger discount card?”

“Always, I never leave home without it. Why?”

>”I want you to float that in front Lard Ass to draw her attention.”

You both had a prolonged whisper argument that almost devolves into full blown talking about the value of the card compared to her friends. It got to the point where you have to both bring up the fact the only reason you’re in this mess is her fault and promise to have sex with her again once this is over. Grumpily she floated over the card in front of the Fattie's pudgy face. Her eyes locked on it like a laser pointer in front of a cat and she bolted after it into a nearby alley.

You and Twilight rush over to Rarity’s front door. And knock quietly to see if anyone is inside. The lights turn on and Rarity opens the door surprisingly unharmed and dressed in very sexy purple lace lingerie. She yawned blinking away sleep.

“Twilight darling, what are you doing here? I thought you were paying your respects to Spike. And why is Anon with you?”

She then looked behind you two at the dark street illuminated by her house.

“Where is everypony? What time is it?”