Celestia Fights Spike
The magical Princess Celestia decided one day to go to Ponyville. Her plan was to visit Twilight Sparkle to learn the magic of friendship. More importantly, however, she was interested in the power that could be gained through the use of this magic.
Celestia stood in front of Twilight Sparkle’s treehouse library. It was midnight, and everypony in Ponyville was sleeping. In fact, they were so tired from that day’s many labors that they didn’t even wake up when their greatest and most powerful goddess princess beckoned them with the most glorious and magically powerful voice in all of Equestria.
“I came to learn about the friendship magic, Twilight Sparkle!”
The ground beneath her powerful hooves shook, and the trees around her bent as her voice bellowed from her gorgeous and almighty throat. She left behind a crater in the dirt as her majestic wings lifted her up to the top window in the treehouse. Celestia’s all-seeing vision was blocked by Twilight Sparkle’s drapes. The magical Princess pierced the glass with her magnificent horn and set the dirty drapes ablaze with the smallest fraction of her potent magic.
The sun goddess didn’t trouble herself to set the flames out, and even as she made her way to Twilight’s resting place, the tree around her burned. There was a horrible crunch and crash as the outer tree limbs fell to the ground outside, awaking both Twilight Sparkle and her miserable servant, Spike the baby dragon.
Twilight screamed. Spike looked lazily around the burning room, and slowly got up from the pile of waste that he slept on.
“Spike, we have to get out of here!” yelled Twilight frantically as she scrambled to save her books from the flames. After she rushed around the room for a while, she ran headfirst into Celestia’s invincible and incredible body.
“Princess! Help us!” Twilight pleaded with the ever patient goddess, who was getting impatient with the intolerably slow witted and tiny unicorn.
“Fine, dear, I’ll help you out.” She was calm, as are most omniscient beings whose power is unknowable to the mortal races such as ourselves. Celestia used the time magic she learned from one of her other unicorn pawns to teleport them back in time and just a ways away from where her past self was just arriving.
They watched as the other grand and regal princess called to Twilight, and then set the treehouse aflame. Twilight looked horrified, but kept her thoughts to herself as they watched the flames spread and did nothing as the tree burnt to the ground, leaving only a pile of shining magical ashes where the town’s library once stood. Spike, however was a whiny brat, complaining that he had just cleaned the window she broke.
“You should have cleaned it better, I couldn’t see through them at all.” replied the all-seeing and wise princess.
“That was because we put the drapes up, you idiot!”
Celestia looked at the baby dragon with her wonderful eyes, and scowled. His scales dried and he grew weak, as her terrifying power resonated through his body. He collapsed onto the ground, since every muscle in his body had softened as her magic swept through him. He became too weak to speak. He became too weak to use even his heart.
But the merciful goddess princess used her magic to start his heart once again, and to return his body to its full strength. She didn’t stop then, however. She gave him the strength of a fully grown dragon, although his size stayed the same, and she gave him the knowledge of all the dragons before him.
Spike rose to his feet. There was anger and hatred in his eyes. Celestia turned away from him, toward the silent Sparkle.
“Twilight, I’ve come to learn about the powerful magic that comes from friendship.”
Twilight didn’t have time to respond, as Spike the evil baby dragon stepped between the lord of all that lives and the pious purple unicorn.
“Princess, you’ve destroyed my home, and now I have the power to defeat you!”
“Oh, yeah, you little punk, you want to go?!” Celestia jumped backward, using only her elegant and marvelous legs to propel her across the field of quaint flowers.
“Yeah, I want to go, you big bully!”
“I’ve taken down bigger wimps than you, I’ve crushed my sister beneath my hooves more times than you’ve taken a bath!”
“Your sister was nothing compared to me!”
“Once, I sent three of her at once to the moon prison!”
Spike looked puzzled by the princess’s wild statement.
“I decided to save my precious time by sending her to one time, and fighting her all at once! It was even easier to fight three of her than it was to fight one, and it’ll be even easier to fight you!”
Then they fought.
Spike awoke in his prison cell, weak from the fight. He groaned. He couldn’t move his feet. He looked at his mangled body. Spike learned who the real princess was. He wouldn’t be a bad dragon anymore.
Celestia looked to the moon. The trembling Twilight Sparkle timidly trotted toward her. The epitome of perfection turned to her.
“Twilight, my dear, are you alright?”
“I’m unharmed princess, but I needed Spike to help me with my research.” Twilight’s whininess annoyed the fantastic mother of all creation. But she knew she needed Twilight to be happy. Her research wouldn’t conduct itself. Yet.
“I’ll give you the most loyal servant I know. You.”
Twilight was confused. Not even the smartest pony in Ponyville could understood their unknowable creator princess.
Celestia gracefully lowered her lovely neck so that her impeccable horn rested on Twilight’s round head. The tiny unicorn felt a surge of awesome magic fly into her, and then a sickening feeling as it exited her body. The magic placed itself next to her and took the shape of a smaller pony that looked just like a baby version of Twilight Sparkle.
“I give you, yourself!”
There was a powerful shake in the earth beneath them as Celestia rocketed into the night sky, trailing behind her a bright cloud of magical dust.
“Learn about the friendship Twilight! I need you!” Celestia’s voice boomed all around Ponyville, as if the ground itself was her throat.