Temptation in Sorrow

by Belial

First published

Sometimes, a smile is just too painful...

Sometimes, its hard to smile, though you've been doing it your whole life. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't hold back the tears.

She cried each night, then goes right back smiling and laughing every day. Nopony see's her pain. Sometimes, she wonders if anypony even cares. But, She goes right back to pretending. She's the element of laughter - of course she can fake a smile.

After all, she's not important. Pinkie has always put everypony else above herself.


A/N : The cover image was painted by an artist who goes by the name Tsampikos.

If he'd like me to take it down, I will.

Through pain, we smile

View Online

"HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Pinkie yelled, running straight at the water slide, before jumping and plunging down it. As she reached the bottom, she hit the pool with a splash, and swam over to wear her five friends were waiting to leave. "Yay! Can I go again, Pleeeeeease?" She said, smiling from ear to ear as she gave a shake, spraying water droplets around herself. "No, Pinkie," said Twilight, glaring at the pink earth pony and shaking water off her ear. "We already let you have three extra slides, and we really need to get home." Pinkie's head drooped, her ears sagging to the sides for just a second, before she sprang back up again. "All right, Lets get home then!" She said, grinning, as cheerful as ever as she started to hop off.

Five heads turned and watched her as she started to bound off. "I wonder how that gal' has so much energy..." Applejack muttered, chuckling slightly. They turned to leave, Rainbow Dash stopping only to give Rarity a push, as she was still trying to shake the bit of water off her hoof, where Pinkie had splashed her.

As the six arrived home, they parted their ways. Rainbow Dash fly's off to her house, Fluttershy rushes home to check on her animals, and Twilight takes Rarity and Applejack to pick up Sweetie Bell and Applebloom from the library, where Spike had been watching them.

Pinkie bounced home, stopping to say hi to every other pony who she passes, She ignored the slight burning in her muscles. Eventually, she got back to sugarcube corner. As she walked in, she yelled a hello to the Cakes, who welcomed her back, before she grabbed a cupcake, eating it a bit too quickly. She then went up to her room. She opened the door, realizing the her hoof shook slightly as she held it out. Scowling slightly, she corrected it, before smiling again.

She closed the door and, still smiling, looked around her room, finding it exactly how she had left it. No one had come in when she was gone. Perfect.

She closed her eyes and let the smile fall from her face. Suddenly, the ache of all her muscles became too much, and, try as she might, she couldn't make it to the bed before she collapsed, hitting her shoulder on the side of her bed. She sniffled, looking at the bruise forming on her shoulder, and then lay her head down on the floor, not even bothering to use a hoof as a pillow. Her shoulder hurt, but not as much as her muscles, burning from a full day of bouncing and jumping around. Celestia, did it hurt. You'd think, after all the years she's been doing this, it would have stopped...But, no. She wasn't that lucky. It still hurt like hell every single time she came home and finally relaxed her muscles.

Looking around her room, she felt tears ready to slide out. It was such a bright room, it nearly hurt her eyes. She felt her hair sag a little as she tried to hold back the tears. She looked from the pink walks to the rainbow confetti, then to the bright yellow part supplies bag. Eventually, she gave up, and let her eyes droop slightly.

Squeezing her eye's closed, she felt a tear come between her eyelids, running down her pink furred face and dripping onto the ground. She opened her mouth just enough to let out a shaky breath, before pressing it closed and almost screaming in pain. It hurt so much...!

This was all her fault, of course. She did this to herself. SHE was the one that smiled all day. SHE was the one that bounced around all day. SHE pretended that everything was all right, when it was all just a lie and she was really dying inside...

But she tried not to think of that. She just opened her eyes, stoned her expression, pulled herself up, and climbed onto her bed, ignoring the screams of agony welling up in her throat. They were unimportant now. She curled up under her blankets, trying to think of all the fun things she would do tomorrow. "Yay..." She murmured under her breath, knowing that everyone else would have fun. She, of course, wouldn't like any of it - but it would be worth it if her friends smiled. That's all that mattered. THEIR smiles. THEIR laughter. THEIR happiness.

Not hers. No, her own happiness was unimportant. Didn't matter at all.


And that was how Pinkie Pie fell asleep that night. How she fell asleep every night. Thinking for everypony else.

The next morning, she would wake up and make tea, just like every morning. She would make breakfast, go out, and go target some unhappy pony to make smile, just like every morning. She would eat lunch with Rarity and go pranking with Rainbow Dash, just like every day. She would see if Twilight wanted cupcakes, just like every day. She would do everything she ordinarily did, and come home and cry some more.

Through the pain, She'd smile. For them. For her friends.

Just like every day.

Finally...It ends...

View Online

It had been two weeks since they had went to that water park. Two ordinary, normal weeks for Pinkie Pie. Smiling, laughing, crying, and making others happy.

Now, shew as at the library, where she had recently tripped and cut her nose on the corner of a table.

Pinkie sniffled as Twilight poured peroxide on her nose. The gash there was still bleeding some. "That was one SHARP table corner, Twilight!" She said, a bit to loudly, waving her forelegs back and fourth above her head. Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes. "Pinkie, hold still. I need to clean this." She said, in a slightly irritated voice. "Sorry..." Pinkie said, smiling sheepishly. Somehow, she couldn't stop herself from thinking, Shouldn't they be worried about hurting you?

But, she didn't show anything. The look of sorrow didn't escape. She had perfected the art of keeping it in, after all. As Twilight finished cleaning her cut, Pinkie had more thoughts - Things she didn't want to think. Her eyes flitted around the room, and she tried to block it off, but they kept coming Terrible things, that she had reason to ignore, yet...They did make her think.

They don't love you...

No! They Care!

They don't care at all, do they, Pinkie...?

Don't say that...!

They'd be better off without you, Pinkie...

Without...Me....?

You taught them how to smile...That was your purpose, right?

Y-Yeah...

That's all you needed to do, right...? And you've done that.

I...I suppose so...

Though she didn't notice it, Pinkie had already said goodbye to Twilight and was walking home. Everypony looked at her oddly, because her head was down and she was silent. Pinkie, Silent. It didn't process in their brains very well.

Maybe she was playing a game? Must be it.

She trudged home, lost in thoughts, her face vacant of expression. She absentmindedly murmured hello to someone, before going back to her journey home.

You're just a nuisance now.

A nuisance....? I guess...I guess I am, aren't I...? I just annoy everyone....They can be happy on their own now...

Yes, that's right.... They don't need you anymore...

She was home now, and she ran into the door once before opening it. She cut her leg on the side of the counter as she nearly fell over it on her way to the stares, but completely ignored it. Didn't feel a thing. She practically dragged herself up the stairs. The Cakes were out, The store was closed, and nopony was around to see her. She fell into her door, before opening it up with a shaky hoof,

I'm not needed, then...I'm just a bother...

You're not just unneeded, Pinkie. Your UNWANTED, too, you know.

Unwanted....? I....I'm unwanted....?

Pinkie didn't register the tears. She didn't feel her hair deflate, her fur loose its vibrancy. She didn't notice how her room seemed to darken around her, the closed curtains letting in even less light than usual. She fell over, onto a box of party supplies. It hurt, but she couldn't tell. Tears fell to the floor as she cried like never before, upon the realization that nopony needed her.

She was an unneeded toy, already used. Her usefulness was up. Everypony in Ponyville had felt her warmth and sunshine, and now could spread it on their own. She had taught a couple ponies how to make parties. They didn't need her anymore.

Just get out of their way, Pinkie

She stumbled up, facing the direction of her Super-Duper-Luper-Ultimate Party Kit.

Let them rise, Pinkie. Your holding them back.

She took a few shaky steps forward, her eyes on the giant bag, surrounded by streamers in all the colors of the rainbow.

Rid the world of your useless presence, Pinkie.

She reached for the bag, feeling around until something cut her hoof.

DIE, Pinkie.

She took out the large cake knife, her hoof shaking more than ever.

Just go ahead and DIE, Pinkie.

She held it up, staring at it with two tear-soaked blue eyes.

Come on, Pinkie! DIE!

She slowly reached toward herself, squeezing her eyes closed.

Your just making PROBLEMS

As the cold metal touched her chest, she let out a shaky breath. This was it. this really was it.

Her final moment of glory.

Her moment to shine.

DIE!

Push

Splurt.

Blood pored down her chest as, in a sudden movement, she pushed. She gasped out loud, but didn't stop. She buried it deeper in her chest, ignoring the red river that burst fourth. She needed this!

Because they didn't need her!

Push.

Because they didn't want her!

Push.

Because they would be better off without her!

Push.

Because she couldn't bear to live anymore!

Finally, with a sickening gasp, she fell over, the tip of the knife pressed into her heart.

As she lay, more tears ran down.

They were all free now - Free of her. They could be truly happy now.

Happy, without her.

This is what she wanted.

And finally, she gave one last smile.

A small, fragile smile.

A real smile.

Because it didn't hurt anymore.

And then...

Darkness.

Finally, I'm free of this pain....




Finally....It ends.

Epilogue

View Online

The first ones to discover Pinkie's body were the Cakes.

Shocked and devastated, the couple called all her friends over immediately. Fluttershy screamed, Rarity fainted, Rainbow fell to the floor, Applejack froze up, and Twilight almost puked.

The whole town mourned her - Everypony was quiet, and many ponies cried. Both Celestia and Luna came to her funeral , both quiet and solemn. Even Luna spoke softly that day. All of her friends gave a speech, even Fluttershy, though hers wasn't very long.

And nopony noticed the mildly pony shaped, pinkish blur in the corner, crying softly.

Though she wasn't crying for her own misfortunes or pain.

No, She was crying for everypony else there, all of the sad, crying faces. She had wanted them to be happy, not sad!

She was crying for all of them, and all their sorrow.

Never for herself.

Just like she always did.