> Somnolent Shenanigans > by Some Leech > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Nocturnal Emissions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rainbow Dash’s eyes fluttered open, as the sound of a squeaking door woke her from her slumber. It took her a moment to remember where she was, the bed she laid atop being much softer than the one she had at home - her home, but the memories came quickly flooding back to her mind. She’d ended up staying the night at the Castle of Friendship, after she and Twilight had stayed up late fawning over the newest Daring Do novel, and she’d only just gotten to sleep. Sitting up, she peered through the gloom and toward the exit. Not only was it the dead of night, but the room she was staying in was only lit by a small handful of glowing crystals - little trinkets that gave just enough light to let her navigate without stubbing a toe or tripping over anything. As she peered toward the entrance, her eyes adjusting to the darkness, a sudden movement caught her eye. “Twi?” she wearily called, rubbing her face. “Twi, is that you?” The door swung open, revealing an ominous silhouette just outside. Far taller than herself, and with what appeared to be an impressive build, the figure stood motionless. The sight startled her, sending adrenaline surging through her system and causing her heart to race, before realization dawned on her. The wings pinned to the person’s back, the horn, the imposing height - if her visitor wasn’t Twilight, it must have been one of the other Princesses instead. She went to tease her friend, presuming she’d nearly been pranked, before the light’s suddenly flicked on. Shielding her face, she blinked rapidly. “Hey! What’s the…” As she stared out at the doorway, her mind went into overdrive. She was definitely looking at Twilight, recognizing the mulberry hues of fur and the oversized, billowy t-shirt the alicorn had gone off to bed with, but something was off. Dangling between her friend’s legs was what looked like a big, thick, vascular arm. Dash rubbed her eyes and did a double take, unsure if she was still dreaming. Thought she was about a dozen feet away, she could tell that the immense appendage was a cock. Knitting her brow, she smirked and peered up at Twilight’s face. “Ha ha - very funny, Twilight,” she sarcastically laughed. “Personally, I would have gone for something scarier than a strap-on, but I’ll give you points for originality. You can turn the lights off now.” Flopping to the bed and rolling to her side, facing away from the door, she made herself comfortable. Darned if she knew what had inspired Twilight to burst in while wearing a sex toy, but she wasn’t too surprised. As far as she knew, the Princess of Friendship hadn’t had much experience playing practical jokes on anybody until she’d moved to Ponyville. She scrunched her snout and pulled the cover over her head, waiting impatiently for the lights to go back out - unfortunately, they never did. Throwing off her blanket, she sat back up. “Twi, I don’t…” The words died in her throat, as her eyes widened in shock. Not only was Twilight buck naked, having stripped out of her shirt, but what she’d presumed was a dildo was still affixed to her crotch. Cocking her head to the side, not noticing any sign of straps or strings attached to the immense dong, she squinted. “Is…is that…” she sputtered in disbelief. No - there was no way this could be real. She had to be sleeping. Either the dong she was looking at was the most lifelike stallionhood she’d ever seen, its violet, vein-streaked flesh being seamlessly adhered to the alicorn’s nethers, or it was real. She shook her head and lightly slapped her cheeks, suddenly wondering if Luna was messing with her dreams, but her friend was unchanged. All but literally tearing her eyes off at the steadily swelling behemoth of a dick, Dash peeked up to Twilight’s face. Her friend hadn’t said a thing since entering, something rather unlike the chatty, nerdy Princess, and she quickly found out why. Her companion’s eyes were closed, her head was lolled forward, and she snored softly. “You have got to be kidding me,” she blurted, watching the alicorn wander over to the bed. As crazy as it sounded, Twilight was sleep walking - she had to be! She swung her legs off the mattress and planted her feet on the floor, staring in open awe at the slowly shuffling Princess. This was too good - crazy as all get-out, but hilarious nonetheless. Maybe Twilight had accidentally cast a spell in her sleep, or maybe she’d tried out some experimental potion before hitting the sack - regardless of why it had happened, her friend was packing some serious heat. With a strand of saliva creeping down her chin, dangling in the air before landing on her huge, bare breasts, Twilight reached down and pawed at her package. No way - there was no way this was actually happening. Finding out one of her best friends suffered from sleepwalking was funny, seeing the mare spontaneously strip naked was even more hilarious, but finding out that Twilight had a massive tool, even if it was temporary, was an opportunity she wasn’t going to pass up. “Hey - hey, Twilight!” she yelled, snapping her fingers and clapping her hands. “If you don’t head back to your room, I’m totally going to play with your junk!” Of course she was teasing - well, half teasing, but it was for a good reason. If, and that was a very big if, Twilight wasn’t actually sleeping, she should be able to get a reaction easily enough. Her threat about groping her companion went without a response, so she decided to up the ante a bit. Grabbing the collar of her shirt and slipping it over her head, she exposed her perky b-cups. It wasn’t a big deal to show off her chest - heck, Twilight had seen her modest sweater puppies plenty of times before, but now it was for a purpose. Grabbing one tit in each hand, she fondled her chest and snickered - that was until her lighthearted taunting had an unintended consequence. Twilight stepped closer, grabbed the back of her head, and pulled her forward. Situated as she was, she didn’t fall from the bed, though the suddenness of the move did make her yelp in surprise. Finding her snout practically smashed to the base of the alicorn’s length, she growled and took a breath - a breath that made her tingle all over. The smell - sweet, merciful Celestia, the strong, almost intoxicating smell that flooded her nose was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. She shuddered, her mouth starting to water, and withdrew slightly. Now only a few inches from the immense stallionhood, she tilted her head downward to get a better look at the incredible endowment. Twilight’s member was beyond impressive, but it wasn’t the only thing that held her admiration. Hanging just beneath the weighty shaft was a pair of ripe, succulent balls. Each nut was roughly the size of her fist, each doubtlessly brimming with thick, virile seed, and she couldn’t fathom how much foal-batter the Princess had stored away. She’d seen some big stallions before, having learned why Big Macintosh had earned his name, but Twilight’s equipment was on an entirely different level. Thicker than her wrist and longer than her forearm, Twilight’s cock was like a work of art. Leaning back slightly, seeing the monstrous length pulsing in tune with the Princess’ heart, she was stricken with a revelation. Her hand shot forward to grab the alicorn’s shaft. Not only was Twilight’s dick real, it was getting bigger and harder by the second. She’d initially presumed her friend was already erect, her length hanging under its own weight, but she’d been wrong - dead wrong. Giving one final glance up to the mare’s - no, the dickmare’s face, she grinned and licked her lips. “Here,” she began, adjusting her positioning and lifting the dick toward her face, “let me get this puppy warmed up for you…” She didn’t consider herself a slut by any means, yet the chance to get it on with a Princess - a Princess who’s endowment made some ursa majors look small in comparison, was a once in a lifetime event. Angling the girthy shaft up to her face, having to lean back to give herself enough room to maneuver, she opened her maw. It wouldn’t be the first time one of the Elements of Harmony had fooled around with one another, and it probably wouldn’t be the last, so she had nothing to worry about - at least that’s what she thought. No sooner had she popped the fat cock-head into her snout than Twilight’s fingers tightened around the back of her head. Faster than she could think, moving quicker than should have been possible, she was wrenched forward with unstoppable force. Her throat obscenely bulged, her eyes watered, and her hands flew to the Princess’ hips, as what had to be nearly two feet of dick was rammed down her gullet. Looking up in shock, she gagged around the giant stallionhood filling her airway. The calm, almost serene expression on Twilight’s sleeping face contrasted against how forceful the alicorn had been. Trying to push herself back, freeing a couple inches of shaft from her muzzle, she told herself that everything would be just fine, that she was in control, yet her hubris quickly bit her on the ass. The moment she was able to draw the slightest bit of air, Twilight drove her hips forward. As her nose was ground into the fleshy folds of the Princess’ sheath, her chin being slapped by a pair of almost grapefruit-sized balls, Dash understood she’d miscalculated. There was no getting away unless the alicorn let her get away, leaving her with perilously few options. As Twilight fell into a slow, steady rhythm of fucking her face, she did the only thing she could think of. One hand shot to her crotch and into her panties, while the other lightly tweaked and tugged at a nipple. Considering it didn’t look like she was going anywhere anytime soon, having nobody to blame but herself for the wildly raunchy situation, she figured her best option was to at least try to enjoy herself. She spread her legs and plunged two fingers into her hastily moistening snatch, as the face fucking she received grew increasingly more violent. What in Equestria was happening? Was Twilight always this forceful with bedroom affairs? She’d slept with Applejack, Fluttershy, and even Rarity a few times, enjoying the casual sex with her friends, yet she wouldn’t have guessed that the Princess of Friendship had a domineering bone in her body! Only granted the occasional gasp for air, her muzzle being railed like a without a care in the world, she plunged a third digit into her snatch. She’d never mentioned it to anyone before, shut she’d always - always wanted to be used like a sex-toy by someone. Most stallions were intimidated by her, and the few she’d managed to have her way with had been almost timid in bed, but that wasn’t the case with Twilight. Her lungs gradually began to burn, her nipples were hard enough to cut glass, and her panties grew drenched, while she inched closer and closer to her limit. Twilight continued without a care in the world, simultaneously pulling her head forward while bucking her hips, but that was far from a bad thing. If she ended up passing out, that was fine with her; as long as she got her rocks off and didn’t die, her friend could have as much fun as she wanted. Seconds lazily slipped by, as her lack of oxygen took a heavy toll. She’d only blacked out a few times in the past, many of which after trying stunts, but she recognized the signs. The tunneling vision, her wildly pounding heart, her spasming, aching gullet - they all told her she was going to lose consciousness. Growing increasingly desperate, wishing for nothing more than to cum before she fainted, it wasn’t until she the alicorn hilted that she was granted her wish. Stars danced across her vision, she trembled from the tip of her toes to the top of her head, and she soaked the bed with her cum. She’d had climaxes before, more than she could count, but never had she been able to get off by literally choking on a cock before. Twilight grumbled something and stepped back, her thighs and lower legs slathered in marish jizz, and she grimaced. Flying back and pawing at her neck, Dash cleared her airway and broke into a coughing fit. Thick strands of saliva and pre-cum hung from her lips, adding to the mess she’d made, while she fought to catch her breath. She had no doubt that she was going to be a little horse in the morning, likely talking with a rasp for a few days, but that was the least of her concerns. She didn’t notice the raspberry colored aura surrounding her until she was thrown onto the mattress. Landing with a resounding Pomf, hearing the telltale signs of magic, she looked around in confusion. As a shadow fell over her, she turned her eyes up to the towering, bedicked Princess looming over the foot of the bed. “T…Twilight,” she stammered, gazing down at the throbbing, slickened stallionhood leveled at her, “I’m n…not sure if - Eeep!” Grabbing her ankle and dragging her down the mattress, mumbling to herself all the while, Twilight flexed her groin. As she came to a halt, her free leg hanging off the end of the bed, she marveled at the tremendous length that wetly flopped over her groin. The head of the titanic stallionhood came to just under her sternum, far too much for any normal mare to handle, but she wasn’t a normal mare - she was Rainbow Dash. Shaking her leg free of the alicorn’s grip, while she bolted upright, she unfurled her wings and took to the air. Princess or not, asleep or awake, there was no way in Tartarus Twilight was faster than her. She sailed around the slumbering dickmare, turned her friend around, and shoved the she-stud onto the bed.  “Since you want it so bad,” she chuckled, flitting over to straddle the supine Princess, “how about you let me take the wheel.” It was stupid - she knew it was stupid, but she couldn’t help herself. Never in her life had she taken something so absurdly large as Twilight’s tool, with the next biggest thing being an oversized dildo she’d foolishly bought after having one too many ciders, but that wasn’t going to stop her. If she was going to end up walking funny, she was going to do it on her terms - that and being on top would let her move at her own pace. She lifted her hips and reached under herself, lifting and guiding the heavy length upward. It was a bit awkward being in such a position, not for the least of which reasons being Twilight’s snoring, although she was able to bring the bloated, battering ram-like tip of Princess meat to her slavering entrance. Kneeling in place, closing her eyes and taking several breaths to steady herself, she started when something took hold of her waist. Her head whipped down, somehow knowing that Twilight had grabbed her, but it was too late.  Driving her hips upward while pulling Dash down, the alicorn sheathed nearly half her shaft into the cocky, wholly unprepared pegasus. A hushed silence fell over the room, and the pair sat motionless for a fleeting moment. As Twilight slowly withdrew a portion of her length, drawing a whimper from her friend, she set her jaw and whispered something. Looking down at the alicorn, Dash gulped. “W…what?” “...Mine…” “What t…the hay does - Oh buck!” Dash exclaimed, set off balance by a second thrust. She threw her arms forward, placed her hands to either side of Twilight’s head, and only barely managed to keep herself from falling. Slow to start, heedless or uncaring of her plight, her friend began leisurely railing her from below. Though she’d tried to take control of the situation, things had quickly spiraled out of her control. Even if she’d wanted to move, she doubted her body would obey her. The sensation of having something so massive pistoning into her was intense beyond words. She could feel her womb battered with each lazy thrust, her entrance was stretched wider than it ever had before, and she was already nearing another orgasm. If she didn’t do something soon, she’d be reduced to a fuck-toy by Twilight! Setting her jaw and flexing her arms, she pushed herself back into a seated position. A forced smile split her muzzle as she looked down on the Princess, but it disappeared as soon as she noticed her abdomen. As she shifted her gaze, watching the imprint of Twilight’s cock appearing and disappearing within her flat belly, her thoughts were derailed. “Mmm…so good,” Twilight mumbled, gradually fucking harder and faster than ever. “F…fuck,” Rainbow groaned, begrudgingly abandoning her efforts. Grabbing her right tit with one hand, while reaching down to play with her clit with the other, she started to bounce in place. Having something so unbelievably huge crammed into her had been jarring, but she was slowly - slowly starting to acclimate to it. She moved in tune with Twilight, lifting herself on the Princess’ backstrokes and plunging down on the thrusts, as her eyelids fluttered. Peeking up to the slumbering alicorn’s face, she uneasily smirked. “Remind me to - Mmmph - stay over more often.” Twilight gave no reply, continuing to drive her hips upward. All the questions she had and confusion she felt from the peculiar situation gradually faded away, replaced by nothing but pleasure. If she’d had any idea Twilight had been hiding something so incredible, she would have done her darndest to seduce the big-dicked alicorn ages ago! She flapped her wings for support and leaned back, positioning herself to let Twilight’s thick medial ring grind against her g-spot. Cowgirl was her second favorite position to have sex in, allowing her to be on top and watch her partner’s face, but this particular instance was better than most. It would have been nice enough to ride someone with such a huge cock, but the fact that she got a perfect view of Twilight’s cute little face made the exchange all the sweeter. Almost insidiously, her shattered bravado pushed her onward. Her speed eventually outstripped her friend, flying into a frenzy as she pushed herself to the brink. If someone had told her that one of her closest friends had a dick, she would have laughed - if they’d said that her friend would end up railing her, she would have called them insane - still, that’s just what fate had held in store for her. With her fingers sailing over her clit, she arched her back, slipped past the threshold, and howled in bliss. Nectar gushed from her stuffed depths, her movements came to a shuddering halt, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Stars above - she hadn’t had a climax that intense since - well, she wasn’t sure she’d ever had one that strong before. As she rode the high of the orgasm, heaving air into her chest while still rubbing her clit, she dully became aware that Twilight had stopped moving. Looking down at her sleeping friend, she cocked her head to the side. She really shouldn’t have been that surprised. Given that Twilight had no idea what she was doing, likely acting out some dream she was having, she should have known that things would eventually come to an abrupt end - nevertheless, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit disappointed. She’d cum twice, her legs felt like jello, and sweat glistened on her turquoise hide. The whole experience of getting face-fucked then screwing herself on her friend, a friend who was still snoozing, had been bizarre, but she didn’t regret it in the slightest - if anything, she was glad she’d had a fun way to cap off the night. With a resigned sigh, she unsteadily flexed her legs and went to dismount from the alicorn.  Just as the bloated cock-head within her tugged at her entrance, the familiar sound of magic caused her blood to run cold. There was no way Twilight was still wanting more ~ was there? Her eyes flew to the Princess’ face, a split second before she was flung back. Laying on her back, shaking her head and clearing her thoughts, she lifted her head and watched Twilight rise into a kneeling position. “N…now Twilight,” she stammered as the alicorn’s aura surrounded her ankles, “are you sure you don’t -” Before she could finish, her legs were lifted and spread wide. Though she could still move her upper half, everything from the waist down had been completely immobilized. She might be faster and more maneuverable than Twilight, but she would never stand a chance against her friend’s unfathomably potent magic. She wriggled and squirmed as Twilight languidly shuffled closer to her. Twilight had initially tried to take control, having flung her onto the bed, and it seemed like that urge was still within the alicorn’s psyche. With her heart pounding in her chest, unable to look away from the immense stallionhood being brought to her pussy, her thoughts raced. There weren’t many things that made her anxious, having been a thrill seeker for most of her life, but the thought of being pinned down and fucked made her nervous - not because she was scared, but because she worried about what it would do to her. She was Rainbow Dash, top mare in or out of the bedroom, and she couldn’t let her reputation get ruined by becoming some cock-hungry bottom-bitch! With nothing she could do, barely able to move, she gnawed her bottom lip. “T…Twilight,” she hastily continued, shivering when the dick kissed her entrance, “don’t be too - Aaaaaaahn!” Twilight slowly, almost affectionately plunged into her, sheathing her length in one long, steady stroke. The cowgirl had been fantastic, bringing her to a climax in record time, but the position she was in now - stars above, she felt like she could cum again at any second! She grabbed her rack and twisted her nipples, as the Princess sank deeper and deeper into her cunt. She could feel her friend’s pulse inside her, her canal relishing every little detail along the immense length, and she absolutely loved it. The feeling of being so utterly full was the experience of a lifetime, but the physical sensations were only one facet of the phenomenal moment. With heady musk filling her nostrils, the sight of Twilight’s face, and the taste of sweat and pre-cum on her tongue, she could see herself getting used to surrendering to the Princess. Twilight drove her medial ring into the pegasus, making Dash squeal in delight, before she started to move in earnest. Unlike when she’d been ridden moments minutes before, being on top let her use her full might against her friend. All but smashing the Wonderbolt’s womb, nearly hilting herself, she rolled her hips back and started fucking in earnest. Dash instantly gave up on trying to figure out what was going on when Twilight started plowing her. The alicorn reached down and grabbed her knees, quietly grunting while with each buck of her powerful hips. She’d always wondered what the Princess of Friendship would be like in bed, having always presumed she’d be a submissive pushover, and now she got to find out first hand. Like the other alicorns, Twilight was a force to be reckoned with in every way. Her powerful muscles contracted, her massive breasts swung and bounced on her chest, and she bulged the pegasus stomach with each and every thrust. It was said that Princesses sat at the apex of what ponykind, and now Dash could see why. As her body was driven forward and back, feeling her once-taut entrance being pulled out and driven back in, she whorishly mewled. Being rutted like this felt fantastic - no, better than fantastic, though she couldn’t help but wonder why Twilight had kept such a big, meaty secret from her. She reflexively flexed her legs and found she was able to move her lower limbs. Snapping her ankles around Twilight’s bucking hips, she hauled herself closer to the alicorn. Buck it - if she was going to end up getting her brains screwed out, she may as well take an active part. She lifted her waist into the air, causing the titanic swell in her abdomen to grow even more prominent, and peaked. Though she’d been close to cumming a third time, the spontaneous orgasm took her completely off guard. Her every muscle seized and she shook uncontrollably, as yet another rapturous howl shook the chamber. She’d heard that mares could climax in rapid succession, but it wasn’t until that moment that she’d been lucky enough to do so herself. Railing Dash harder than ever, Twilight snorted. Though she couldn’t have had any idea what she was doing, she sieged the braying mare’s womb with reckless abandon. Gone was the quiet, reserved Princess of Friendship, replaced by an incarnation of wanton lust. Her hands drifted lower, grabbing her fuck-toy’s knees, as she tensed. Dash was in heaven all but literally. The never ending waves of pleasure coursing through her rocked her to her core, saliva trailed down her cheeks, and her limbs grew weak. Though she’d tried to put up a good fight, she quickly realized it was a fool’s errand. At best, she’d be conscious and filled with an absurd amount of cum when Twilight finished with her - at worst, she’d black out and take a sizable blow to her pride. “T…that all you - Cough - got?” she croaked, wearily peering down at Twilight. She knew good and gosh darn well that wasn’t all Twilight had, but her hope was that the provocation would fan the fires of her friend’s desires. Try as she might to tense her legs, she was quickly losing the ability to do anything but lay there and get fucked like a living, breathing sex-toy - something she’d only dreamt about before. Seeing the alicorn’s magic envelop her clit, she drew a breath and whimpered. In an instant, as soon as Twilight started playing with the delicate bud of flesh, she was wracked by another orgasm. Marish juices squirted from her pummeled cunt, she nearly went cross eyed, and her hair stood on end. Yeah, there was no doubt about it, she was fucked in every sense of the word. Pulling her legs apart, the she-stud leaned forward. She could barely tell what her friend was up to, having trouble forming a thought, yet the truth quickly revealed itself. As her knees were driven to either side of her head, pinning her arms in the process, she looked up and into Twilight’s eyes. Kicking her legs out, the Princess jackhammered into the pinned pegasus like a jackhammer. There was no restraint or remorse - just pure, unremitting rut-lust. The bed creaked and groaned, the ponies groaned and grunted wildly, and the rapid Plap plap plap of colliding bodies crafted a symphony of debauchery that the Castle of Friendship had never seen. Dash tried to cry out, to give voice to her adoration for the titan destroying her, yet all she could do was babble incoherently and cry out in rapture. Even if Twilight had been slightly more gentle with her, she knew - knew she’d be a different mare from that night forward. The biggest, most assertive stallions in all of Equestria couldn’t dream of holding a candle to the Princess of Friendship - at least not when it came to carnal savagery. Hit with climax after climax, practically fucked through the mattress, she wailed like a beast possessed. Each orgasm was somehow more powerful than the last, shattering her sanity and robbing her of her ability to think. She could practically feel herself slipping away, crushed under the unfathomable weight of pure ecstasy. As she dipped in and out of consciousness, time lost all meaning. She may have been pinned down and fucked for seconds, or perhaps it was years - regardless, the small eternity of her rapturous torment eventually came to a head. Some sliver of her higher functions took note of the flaring length beating against her womb, snapping her back to the present. Twilight steadied herself and gave one final, titanic plunge, hilting her entirety while she set her jaw. As Dash’s inner gate was breached, her foal-factory contorting around the monstrous stallionhood filling her, her voice raised an octave, but it wasn’t until her interior was bathed in virile spunk that she truly lost herself. Her toned belly grew rounded, swelling and distending to the point where she looked heavily pregnant, while her mouth hung open in a noiseless scream. Every other orgasm she’d ever had paled in comparison to the climax she endured from being creampied by what had to be a gallon of cum. Staring blankly up at the ceiling, only able to heave air into her chest, she moaned when the alicorn shot back and pulled her length free. The final few ropes of Twilight’s jizz painted her face, tits, and bloated stomach, steaming in the cool air. She was covered in and filled with foal-batter, she ached from head to toe, and she was keenly aware that she might have just been knocked up, but those things didn’t matter - the only thing that did matter was that she got some sleep. She looked to the side, seeing Twilight lay down beside her, and exhaustedly smiled. Twilight yawned and rubbed her face, her eyes slowly cracking open. “Rainbow, why are you…” She fell silent, looking down and seeing the absolute devastation she’d wrought. The bed and blankets were a mess, both she and Dash were covered in all manner of lecherous juices, and her colossal dick was slick with cum. Pinching the bridge of her snout, she swung her legs off the bed and got to her feet. “S…sorry about that,” she muttered, igniting her horn and levitating the limp pegasus from the mattress. As she moved toward the bathroom, she chuckled to herself. “At least it’s not as bad as last time.” Dash didn’t reply - couldn’t reply. Lost to a sea of bliss, her mind sundered under the unfathomable ecstasy she’d endured, she fitfully shivered in the air. Her brain was scrambled, cum leaked from her marehood into the cleft of her ass, and her swollen belly sloshed and wobbled softly. The Princess cheerfully hummed to herself, carrying her friend into the shower. “Technically the last two times, the ones with Applejack and Pinkie Pie respectively. Just please - please don’t tell anybody about this ~ alright?” For the second time, Dash gave no response. She could scarcely process what she’d just heard. Applejack and Pinkie? Had Twilight really rutted two of their friends in such a devastating way? Even if she could reply, she had no idea what she would actually say to such a revelation. As she slipped beneath the warm water of the shower, her eyes drifting to Twilight’s crotch, her marehood clenched upon itself. If this wasn’t the first time the Princess had plowed someone in her sleep, maybe she’d need to spend the night more often…