I Loved You Like The Sun
Luna was a mare of routines and there was no routine she valued more than her evening ritual. She would wake in the afternoon, stretching and groaning as she eased herself away from the plush bed. Her room was nearly identical to her old one in the Everfree Castle; one of the only differences being the darkening curtains that disallowed any Sun from entering. She was thankful that her room was one of the few similar things that survived the onslaught of time, but she was still thankful for the peaceful sleep the curtains provided. Once awake, she would pull back the curtains to let a few rays of sunlight in until a maid would bring in coffee. She'd smile at the memory of Starswirl discovering coffee as she sauntered to the balcony, fully basking in Celestia's Sun. It was only then that Luna could be considered awake.
She'd sit there in peace, listening to the citizens of Canterlot below chattering and going about their business in the distance. Even though Luna amassed several routines, this one was her favorite. It reminded her of the existentialism of her subjects and her course of repentance. When she returned, Ponyville was the first to forgive, then Canterlot, and then the rest of Equestria once the news spread. Even though Celestia assured her there was nothing she needed to apologize for, Luna maintained that she had to earn everypony's forgiveness. They were all so quick to forget and Celestia was too forgiving. So, Luna would sit on her balcony not forgiving nor forgetting. She would ruminate before preparing herself for the night, silently thanking the stars for giving her a second chance.
Today was no different either. Luna cycled through her routine before putting on her regalia and strutting into the castle with practiced purpose. She'd nod to each pony passing her in kind greeting until entering the dining room. She timed it perfectly for Celestia to enter and they'd eat together while discussing the highlights of their respective jobs. Luna savored her time with her sister as they would sometimes giggle over old memories or simply enjoy each other's presence. For Luna, this comfort was enough. As she settled into her chair waiting for her sister, Luna gently smiled with quiet anticipation.
Today was different though when Celestia entered. Her usual creamy coat was now a clammy white. And while she maintained poise and grace that any other pony would accept, Luna could see how Celestia shook in her gait. Luna arched an eyebrow but shrugged it off. Perhaps Celestia had had a tiring day? Her thoughts were silenced as the food was ushered in by the chefs and placed in front of the two princesses. Luna thanked them kindly as Celestia simply nodded. Another oddity.
"So sister, how was your day?"
Celestia didn't seem to hear her as she began to pick at her salad. Luna's worry began to bubble as she cleared her throat to get her attention. Celestia flinched and met Luna's eyes with weariness.
"I apologize, Luna. I don't know what's come over me. What did you say?" Celestia asked, offering a weak smile.
"I asked how your day went, sister," Luna repeated before biting into her own food. She tried to remain unphased as Celestia nodded in response, idly stabbing at a stray tomato, but worry further gripped her heart.
"I don't exactly remember," Celestia chuckled, "I suppose it was boring if I don't. Just the court and reading over the paperwork, nothing particularly exciting."
Luna just watched her as she talked. Celestia's voice seemed strained and it was curious as Celestia had yet to eat anything before her too. Luna's worry threatened to bubble over and she opened her mouth once Celestia began prodding a carrot, confident that she wasn't interrupting her.
"Are you alright, Tia?"
Celestia once again met her sister's eyes and Luna tried not to panic at the glassiness that glazed over her magenta eyes. Had that been there before?
"I... I don't know... I think I just need to rest."
Celestia offered a kind smile as she raised from her untouched food. She stumbled out of the dining room and Luna tried to calm her heart.
"Kibitz," Luna called out. The old stallion came forward into view from the sidelines.
"Yes, Princess Luna?"
"Before you're dismissed for the night, did Celestia seem off today?"
Kibitz's mustache scrunched up slightly as he looked away.
"I believe so, Princess."
"When did it start?"
Luna knew Celestia seemed fine before going to bed since none of her symptoms had manifested then. Kibitz stood there mulling over his answer under Luna's gaze before responding.
"A bit before the Royal Court ended, Your Majesty."
Luna's face scrunched up in a momentary response as she nodded.
"Well, then. I'll ensure she gets rest tonight and I'll send for a doctor in the morning if she hasn't recovered. You are dismissed, Kibitz."
After Kibitz left with a bow, Princess Luna walked the halls of the Canterlot Castle. She alerted the guards to maintain quiet in the vicinity of Celestia's room before heading to her own study to lower the Moon. It was a slight change to her routine of lowering the Moon, but Luna managed. She would once again bid a good night to passing ponies who were heading home and to the night guard that now stood at attention. Once Luna made it to her study, she watched the Sun's rays disappear below the horizon.
At this, Luna made her way to the balcony and reached out to the Moon who greeted her. It sang and chimed with its familiar riddles and puzzles and Luna giggled with mirth. Ever since her return, the Moon never eased its excitement, always welcoming her magic with wonderous songs. She then brought forth the twinkling stars that danced in her presence, and Luna let go. The Moon proudly hung in the night sky and basked the land with its silver moonlight.
With her etheral duty now complete, she made her way back inside to the paperwork set on her desk. Budget approvals, a lookover of proposals brought forth by the noble houses, and permissions for joint-military exercises took up her desk. Thankfully, time marched on as she reviewed and signed the pieces of parchment until they were stacked neatly in a pile. The work was dull but still filled Luna with purpose. It seemed, however, the Dreamscape mirrored the paperwork's dreariness with little dreams to monitor and patrol. All in Equestria seemed to be dreaming happily with few needing attention. Princess Luna stepped out of the fantastical realm and into reality as she once again stretched. With no more to do, Princess Luna walked about Canterlot Castle.
There was still time for the changing of the day so she carried herself to Celestia's room. The vision of Celestia being ill from earlier flared in her mind's eye as she approached the guards who saluted Princess Luna. She maintained her pace despite the concern that threatened her peace. The doors were open and shut quietly and quickly, further building the ominous dread bubbling inside Luna's heart. Immediately, Luna felt her concern turn into fear as unnatural coldness crawled over Luna's skin.
The room was dark, curtains drawn tightly shut, and her golden regalia strewn about the floor in a haphazard trail to her bed. It was so unlike Celestia who always kept her room open and neat. Luna crept through the room, feeling like a trespasser, as she approached the cloaked form of Celestia on her bed. Her heart screamed at how wrong the situation felt but was quickly silenced when Luna finally heard it: Celestia's labored breathing.
"Celly?"
Luna raced to her sister's side and began tearing Celestia's sleeping form apart with her eyes. Her mane lost its luster and her eyes were closed impossibly tight. Her coat was damp with sweat and she shuddered as Luna pressed a hoof to her forehead. What scared Luna the most was how cold Celestia was. Celestia, the embodiment of the Sun, always radiated heat. And Luna, who was used to feeling liquid ice in her veins, flinched at the contact of her skin. All Luna could do was stare in disbelief at the sight before her. Celestia did get sick when they were younger, but never to where she was incapacitated to such a degree. Luna pulled her hoof back as she turned to get the doctor. Just as her hoof set down against the mosaic tile, Celestia coughed and wheezed.
"Lulu?"
She turned to see Celestia's head pull up from the pillow, groggy eyes searching in the dark. It was thankfully easy since Luna's mane emitted its starry glow and cast its light on Celestia and Luna alike. She smiled before settling back onto the moist pillow, never breaking eye contact with Luna. Her eyes were cloudy with sickness just like before.
"What are you doing here," Celestia questioned. Luna trotted up to her side and brushed a hoof gently through her mane.
"Sister, I need to get a doctor. You're extremely ill and-"
"Hush, Luna. I don't need a doctor. Come, lay by me for a minute and we can talk."
Celestia had weakly brought a hoof up to Luna's own and stared at her with childlike wonder. She really needed a doctor, but here she was pleading with her as a needy foal would to its mother.
"If I lay with you for a minute, will you let me get you medical attention?"
Celestia hummed affirmatively and Luna pulled off her regalia with a sigh. She didn't want to add to Celestia's discomfort, after all. Luna crawled onto the bed and onto her stomach, draping a wing over Celestia. Worry reared its ugly head as Luna tried not to think of how small her big sister seemed at this moment. She could mind laying in her sister's sickbed, but not so much witnessing Celestia in such a state. It was alarming and distressing. So Luna kept her focus on the headboard, unable to bring herself to look upon her sister.
"Luna?"
Luna pulled her attention to Celestia. Despite the sickness, Celestia's eyes were filled with emotions that Luna couldn't begin to decipher. Nonetheless, she felt entranced in the storm brewing behind magenta eyes.
"Yes, sister?"
"I'm sorry," Celestia wheezed.
"Tia, do not fret over this! We'll get you a doctor and-"
"No no, not that, Luna," Celestia shuffled closer to her, "I meant for banishing you to the Moon."
It was funny, really. Luna had braved the snowy mountains of the Frozen North, was one of the only creatures familiar with the iciness of the Moon, and now faced the unnatural coldness of the Solar Princess and her personal chambers. However, it was Celestia's apology that froze her to the core. She didn't know if it was because of the situation or the fact that Celestia felt remorse, but it was heartbreaking all the same.
Celestia shuddered and Luna pulled her closer, the anxiety from before melting away to give forth to worry.
"I didn't mean to banish you with the Nightmare, Lulu. I was scared and confused at what was happening, I knew something was wrong but I didn't know how to help you. Then it possessed you and I was lost. When I went to expel the Nightmare, the Elements decided to banish you with it," Celestia sniffled.
She looked up to Luna, whose tears threatened to pour, and choked out in misery, "It was my fault you went to the Moon. I sent you away without thinking. I didn't realize that all you wanted was love and recognition and I sent you away for that."
"I- What?"
Luna was trying not to hyperventilate now. She believed she had gotten over her feelings and angst toward Nightmare Moon, but the new revelation from Celestia uprooted her very beliefs. Wasn't she and Nightmare Moon one and the same? Didn't Luna deserve to be punished? Luna just studied her sister, her lip quivering being the only movement she dared to make. It was heart-crushing to just see her sister reduced to the stature of a filly, but to hear her cry and whimper? It was more painful than anything Luna had experienced.
"I didn't mean to. I didn't. I wanted you back with me, safe and sound. I wanted you to be happy! Seeing you so miserable for so long hurt and I didn't know what to do. When you left, I still didn't know what to do. I just wanted my sister back!"
Celestia paused to cough and sob as Luna finally began to cry. In the middle of the confession, Luna turned over to pull Celestia into her arms and comfort her. Luna knew that the thousand years had hurt Celestia tremendously. Where Luna had taken a backseat to the Nightmare's control, Celestia endured the millennia alone. And while their teary reunion allowed them to reconcile, it was nothing real and raw like the current conversation. At least, Celestia never divulged these feelings of guilt and grief. And Luna never contemplated that she would have felt this way.
"I'm sorry, Luna. I hope- I hope we're still sisters. I've done so many bad things. I don't want you to think less of me because I think the world of you! I would give anything in Equestria to make sure you were happy."
Luna swallowed and eased her breathing as she cradled her sister closely. Celestia aimlessly gripped Luna's fetlocks as if to ground her, to make sure Luna wouldn't disappear again. She found calm in the rocking though as her tears subsided and she found her voice once again. Celestia simply cried and wheezed as Luna's voice broke.
"Tia, I never thought less of you, ever. I've always thought of you as the strongest mare in Equestria. You've fought dragons with Hellfire, for the star's sake! Yet you rule with the kindest heart ever to grace Equus. You always did impress Starswirl with your magic too. And it's those virtues that I strive to replicate every waking hour!
"It should be me for letting the Nightmare corrupt me so. I was jealous of such qualities that I sought to bring harm to you. No creature should wish harm on their kin, Tia. I did that. So if anypony should be sorry, it is I. As a wonderous pony once said, 'will you accept my friendship?'"
At this point, both sisters were calmed down and no longer crying out of grief. Celestia even let out a wet chuckle as she pulled back from Luna's embrace.
"Of course, Lulu. I'm so thankful to have you to call my sister!"
"I share the same sentiment, sister. I'm afraid I must cut this short, but I'll return momentarily."
Luna gave her one last hug before easing out of the bed, despite Celestia's weak protests, and put her regalia back on. When she turned around, Celestia was settled back into her pillow and losing her fight against sleep. Luna smiled and tried to cover her with her sheets, but Celestia was stubborn even while indisposed and kicked them away.
"I'm too hot," was the only response she got to her endeavor.
"Well, I'll send for a doctor, then. I also need to lower the Moon and... raise the Sun. You're in no condition to do so, anyways. Would it be fine if I did that?"
With a grunt as a yes, Luna quickly retreated to the door to send the guards for the royal doctor and settled herself onto the balcony. It was adorned with sunflowers and overlooked the garden. Luna breathed in the fresh air and took in the sights with a heavy sigh. It was time for the changing of day.
Luna first drew her magic toward the rocky surface of the Moon. It sang of the quiet night that swept not just Equestria, but over Equus as well. Luna thanked it for its duty and drew it below the horizon. The stars winked goodbye and joined the Moon in kind.
Now, for the hard part. Anxiety once more gripped her heart at the momentous task before her. She had never raised the Sun let alone touched it. Celestia had gotten sick before, sure, but never so sick that she couldn't manage the Sun. It was this unfamiliarity that scared Luna so. The Moon was enigmatic in its own right, but it was so familiar to Luna that its riddles were comforting. The Sun was mysterious in that Luna never had dealings with it. However, all of Equus waited for the Sun's rays to grace over the land and so Luna reached out with her horn pointed low. Immediately, Luna wanted to pull her magic back at the heat but maintained the connection. The Sun burned and lashed out at Luna's touch, but Luna was unrelenting. She poured her whole being into her magic, taking on a fighting stance almost, as she doubled her efforts. The Sun wouldn't let go and neither would she.
Where the Moon would sing a song for Luna, the Sun growled in percussive beats that pounded in Luna's head. It was as if the Sun dared her to go further to see what would happen. She wrapped her magic tighter against the Sun carefully, the tempo of the beats quickening ever so slightly. It took some time to further weave her magic given the sheer size of such a celestial object, but once she had a hold, she went to raise the Sun. And the Sun burned her in response as brass screamed against her attempt. The intensity brought her to kneel against the white tile. Luna grunted as the Sun impossibly doubled the volume in her head. Violins joined the orchestra as they sliced away at her very presence. The sheer intensity threatened to split her head open as she cried out and sweat dripped down her face. To Luna, the orchestra was everywhere and demanded retribution. It chiseled away at her will with its power. However, it was just the Sun and the Lunar Diarch fighting for control. The Sun was overbearing in its intensity, flames lashing out and fighting the hold, and Luna felt the might of its power pressing her against the balcony. This was the power of the mighty Sun.
Luna wanted to concede and let the Sun finish her with the heat pulsing against her being. It all changed when she imagined Celestia in her bed just a few steps away, and Luna redoubled her own efforts. The ensemble still screamed at Luna with its might unknowingly and Luna struggled against it as she stood on her shaky hooves. Luna took a ferocious stance as she pulled at the Sun, throwing her head back with a scream. The Sun wailed in blindsided confusion at her rage, pulling back albeit with less intensity, but Luna did not falter.
"EQUESTRIA NEEDS ME! CELESTIA IS COUNTING ON ME! I AM LUNA EVERFREE, MISTRESS OF THE NIGHT, AND I WILL NOT YIELD!"
With one last scream, Luna heaved the Sun into the sky as she zipped into the sky. The Sun had quieted in Luna's speech, but the instruments screamed back to life as it peaked above the horizon. Golden rays shined down upon the land as the Sun made its grand appearance. No longer was there a flurry of violins threatening to slice her. The brass no longer tore apart her being. And the constant beating of drums no longer worried the mare that they were at war. The very instruments that sought to bring Luna down rang out a majestic tune. It was a score congratulating her. Luna laughed in a mad haze, as the Sun proudly hung in the sky and the instruments quieted altogether.
"Thank you... You were formidable, I'll give you that," Luna chuckled breathlessly.
Luna wanted to release her magic, but something kept her from doing so. At her attempt to pull away, the Sun once again began a song. Ivory keys rang out above the other instruments that had previously attempted to overwhelm her. It was apologetic in nature. Luna listened to what the Sun composed wordlessly as it recounted its perspective of the thousand years. Where the Moon sang a song of riddles and mysteries begging to be answered, the Sun was honest and passionate in what it had to say. The score ended with dramatic flare and Luna smiled wearily. She nodded to it as both the Solar body and Lunar mare relinquished their hold on each other in wordless thanks, now with a better understanding of each other.
Luna stretched and groaned as her body protested after such an event. She returned inside Celestia's room and saw a doctor packing up where her sister quietly slept.
"Ah, Princess Luna! I figured I heard you nearby," Doctor Horse greeted with a quick bow.
"Hello again, Doctor Horse. How is she?"
"Well, it's thankfully not as bad as her symptoms suggest. I checked over her record and as far back as it goes, there's no mention of her getting sick. However, I quickly consulted with Kibitz who mentioned her stress over the past few days. Between the cold, her records, and everything I know, it sounds like she just stressed herself out. She'll be fine with rest," Doctor Horse smiled.
Luna breathed a sigh of relief as she put a hoof on her chest.
"Thank the stars it's nothing," she thought.
"Thank you so much doctor for easing my fears. It means the world to know that."
"Of course, your highness! I'm glad to be of help. Please let me know if I can be of assistance if anything changes!"
Doctor Horse simply bowed once more and made his way back to the door where Kibitz and Raven stood waiting outside. Luna trailed behind until she was before the two assistants.
"Raven. Kibitz. I'm relieved to say that Celestia will be okay. However! Due to stress and overwork, she will have to take the day off to recover. Please see to it that her schedules are adjusted. And before you go, please have a servant bring oatmeal and a fresh pitcher of water. I'm going to rest here with Celestia to be sure she's alright. If anypony has any questions, they may save them until one of us leaves these chambers. Am I understood?"
"Yes, your highness," both ponies replied simultaneously.
"Very well. Have a good day."
Luna closed the door gently as she turned her attention to Celestia. The room was astoundingly different from when Luna first entered despite the lack of change. The Sun peaked through the curtains and illuminated the room with a loving glow; Luna wouldn't be surprised if she saw a few rays dancing near Celestia as if to comfort the sick mare. The regalia no longer felt imposing either as she stepped over the pieces. And Celestia wasn't desperately searching for air, but instead dozed quietly.
Luna peeled off her regalia once more and pulled one of the many floor pillows to lay by Celestia's bed. Before laying down, Luna nuzzled Celestia who smiled in her sleep. Luna took one last look at her sister and laid her head on the plush pillow. Her sister, even though she was sicker than a diamond dog, was still the strongest pony she knew. With the emotional night now over, Luna spoke out to the Solar Princess with the Sun being her only witness.
"Dearest Tia, I love you like the Sun."