Flurry's First Goodbye
The pony laid on the bed with the covers over themselves as they faced up towards the ceiling with their eyes closed. They breathed in shallowly and asked with what air they could push out, "What's past the end?"
Flurry stood tall over the bed. She didn’t stand stoically but she did stand up straight. She made her presence known to the pony before her but she did not lift her head up to look down at the pony but she had it tilted so she looked straight at them. She was watching over them, being their protector whose full attention was on them. Every breath and every small movement the pony before her was noticed and accounted for.
Flurry only answered after a few seconds as the question lingered in her mind. She raced through her knowledge and experience and finally answered, "Nothing."
The pony cantered their head slightly towards the alicorn and opened their eyes and looked up at her. Their eyes strained to stay open but the pony powered through, "Then I'll make it anything I want."
Flurry didn’t waver from her spot and didn’t hesitate to answer back at the comment. "You can't."
The ponies' eyes collapsed at the answer and a small frown formed at the edge of their lips and they asked through their lips, "Why?"
Flurry swallowed and answered, "Because there's nothing."
The pony took a moment to gather their thoughts. Their nose twitched right before they slowly got their question out, "But what about me?"
Flurry once again didn’t waste any time to reply back, "You'll pass through the end and into nothing, leaving behind everything including yourself."
The pony finally opened their eyes again and stared back at the alicorn, "So I won’t be in the nothing?"
"Yes." Flurry answered.
Despite the weakness, the pony was able to churn their face, as they had done their whole life, into a confused look and asked, "Then why won’t I be able to do anything?”
“Because you’ll still be with us.” Flurry answered.
The look of confusion was slowly replaced by concern with the answer that was given and once their face had switched expressions, the pony asked, “But how can I pass through and stay behind at the same time?”
Flurry finally wavered. She looked away, looking up at the wall that the pony's bed was beside and stared at it hiding the guilt in her eyes for not having the answer, "I don't know."
“How do you know this?” The pony asked.
This question shot right into Flurry and pierced her heart. She had only been trying to comfort the pony. She didn’t know what answers the pony wanted so she caved in and said, “I don’t…”
There was a silence between the two for a moment as Flurry’s answer filtered through the pony's head. The silence was broken by the sound of movement from the pony as they shifted about all so subtly. They finally asked, “What do you think is past the end then?”
Flurry finally looked back down at the pony when the question came out. She didn’t know, but that would not be worthy of an answer for the pony before her so she answered, even if it brought up the darker tone of the situation, “Something you’ll know soon.”
“I don’t want too though.” The pony replied back.
This was tough. Flurry knew it would be. How was she supposed to help comfort the pony before her when she herself would never experience it. Knowing she wouldn’t experience it, she realized her answer, “Neither do I.”
Her answer brought back the silence. It wasn’t a bad one though. The pony had a faint smile now and it eased Flurry. It had been a worthy answer for them it seemed.
The pony eventually spoke up and said, “I’ll be sure to wait there for you once I pass through.”
Flurry blinked at the response and could only stare at the pony. She looked surprised to hear them say it and they almost let their mouth hang open as the comment stuck to her. She held her composure enough that her mouth didn’t drop open though, so once Flurry collected her thoughts, she finally replied back, “You can’t.”
The pony looked surprised themselves at the comment and it looked as if they were trying to push themselves up from the bed, or at least get closer to Flurry, but didn’t as they lost all their strength and relaxed back down onto the bed and closed their eyes and whispered with a sad tone, “Why?”
Flurry almost reacted to their movement but stopped herself. She promised she would not prevent the pony before her from trying anything. This was their time and she would allow them to do anything they wanted to prepare. She smiled, even though she quickly realized it might not be appropriate to smile and rid her face of it and finally answered, “Because I’ll be here still.”
The pony took a deep breath and answered with a louder voice, though it wasn’t loud, it sounded more like a weak whisper that was trying to sound normal, “I don’t care. I’ll wait.”
Flurry did not want to argue with the pony. It was not her place nor was it what the pony deserved. She had another smile grow on her face though, smaller this time but it felt more right this time, “And I think that’s all that matters.”
There was a long silence between the two after Flurry’s comment. It was nice. It felt like things were at a good end, but the pony didn’t seem to think so. They breathed a few times before finally asking, “How fast is it?”
Flurry’s eyes grew wide at the question. She didn’t have an answer for this question either. She didn’t know if she was supposed too either. Maybe that would be something her life would give her eventually but for now, she didn’t have it. She didn’t answer for a while this time. When she finally answered, she looked almost scared, “I don’t know.”
Flurry gave her answer. She relaxed now. The pony could take her answer and do what they wished with it. She was simply there to be there for them.
“Can you be scared for me?” The pony asked out of the blue.
It wasn’t really out of the blue though. The pony had it waiting on their tongue for the right moment to ask after Flurry had answered their last question.
Flurry looked shocked, surprised again, at the question. What was she supposed to be scared of? She wanted to ask multiple questions regarding such a request but kept them to herself. She simply asked, “What for?”
The pony took a few seconds longer than before to answer, having to take a few deeper breaths of air before hoof before pushing out through their teeth, “I don’t think I can.”
Flurry’s face slowly melted into a sad frown. Her lips almost quivered at the response but she had forced herself into being ready for today, so after she controlled the emotions that swept through her, she turned herself back into the watchful guardian she wanted to be and she asked, “Do you think it’ll help?”
The pony took all their strength and nodded their head. It was very small movements but it was noticeable, and it meant everything to Flurry. Even in their condition, the pony still wanted to reply, even if they couldn’t answer right away so Flurry made sure to specifically remember it.
After some moments of silence, the pony finally got out, “I like facing the unknown while being scared… It helps me be prepared.”
The comment the pony gave at first almost destroyed Flurry this time. The pony had been through so much, not only for themselves, but for other ponies, her mother and Flurry herself. It was the second comment that shattered away the destroying emotions that were creeping up and the comment that made Flurry bring a confused look to her own face. She asked, “It’s only the end. What’s there to be prepared for?”
The pony smiled. Flurry didn’t know why but her not knowing why didn’t stop the pony from saying, “The nothing that comes after.”
Flurry spoke up quickly and moved herself more over the pony as if trying to assert her stance on the problem and said, “But I said I don’t know what happens after.” Flurry realized she made a mistake with her movements and quickly brought herself to where she had been. She couldn’t be a watchful guardian if she was assaulting the pony before her like that.
Thankfully the pony hadn’t noticed or reacted. Their eyes were closed and they barely moved. She cringed nonetheless.
This was harder than she thought it would be.
The pony whispered in an even softer voice now. Some of the letters in their response could only be heard through reading their lips, which Flurry didn’t miss. She read each one that brought no sound.
“I’ve never been prepared for nothing.”
Then the pony laughed. A very quiet one, but they laughed. Small amounts of air pushed out of their nose as they laughed, which required them to take super shallow breaths in to replace, but they laughed regardless.
Flurry felt ok. The pony had obviously made a joke they thought was funny and that was all that Flurry wanted them to feel, but she couldn’t stand there and let them put that much effort into speaking and leave them unanswered. She had another soft smile grow on her face as she said, “Ok. I’ll be scared for you.”
The pony before her slowly stopped laughing but they kept their own smile. They forced it on their face as they prepared for what was coming. They didn’t have to be scared and they could focus on enjoying their last moment.
“Thank you…” The pony whispered.
“It’s only my duty…” Flurry whispered back.
Flurry watched the pony and silence was brought back upon them. The pony didn’t breathe in anymore air and they became still. Their smile lingered on their face before slowly fading away.
Flurry could no longer handle it. She said she wouldn’t do it but she just couldn’t take it. She let out a tear from her eye and let it soak into her fur before she closed her eyes, dipped her head and whispered to nothing, “Goodbye…”