"Trixie is a Lesbian"
"Umm, come again?" Starlight asked, slightly confused.
"It's true," Trixie responded in a serious tone. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is a lesbian. Now, Trixie must admit, she's never considered herself as such before. But that was before she met this radiant beauty who sits beside me." The magician motioned to the pony who sat beside her on the coach. "Isn't she beautiful?"
Starlight's eyes flickered back and forth between the two. She was silent for a moment before responding. "She's, uh... very pretty."
Trixie scoffed at this poor excuse of a compliment. "Just 'pretty'?! Trixie's girlfriend is far more than that! She's perfection!" She looked lovingly at her true love beside her.
Starlight slowly nodded. "Uh-huh. Not much of a talker is she?"
"Oh, she's just a tad shy is all. Well, except when it comes to Trixie, but who wouldn't pay attention to Trixie?"
I wouldn't if I could help it. Starlight snarked in her head.
Trixie sighed contentedly and looked to her friend. "You know, Starlight, I want to be really honest with you. For so long, Trixie has traveled Equestria, showing off her greatness to the commoners of the world. But to be honest, it has been a lonely road. So often, Trixie has felt... isolated."
Starlight mumbled something like 'mhm' while sipping her coffee.
"For as much love as Trixie has received from her adoring fans,"
All two of them. Starlight bit back the snark.
"She has been craving a more... integral relationship."
"I think you mean 'intimate'."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. And as shocking as this is, Trixie has not had the best luck with stallions."
"Nooo, you?"
"Alas, as impossible as it seems, Trixie has never had a boyfriend. Now I admit, it wasn't from lack of trying. It seems the stallions Trixie tried to court didn't like her very much."
"I wonder why."
"Oh, jealousy mostly. You know how some ponies are; so envious of those around them who are more talented than they are, lashing out like the pathetic, attention-starved little foals they are deep down."
"Like you?"
"Yeah, like you. But don't worry, I love you anyway, Starlight."
"That's nice of you."
"Trixie tried to understand what was wrong with these colts, but she never understood until she met her." Trixie locked eyes with her lover. "It was the most magical moment in Equestrian history; when our eyes met in that little pawn shop, it was like all the world stopped. Everything about her was perfect. Her silky-smooth mane that flowed in the wind like the wings of an angel; her pristine coat of fur complimented her curves so flawlessly; and just imagine what she could do with that horn..."
"Trixie, please stop drooling on my coach."
Trixie snapped out of her stupor, blushing as she wiped her mouth. "Oh, sorry. Got a little lost there. But the point is, I realized in that moment that the Great and Powerful Trixie was also the Gay and Powerful Trixie, and this absolutely stunning mare who sits beside her now is her Special Somepony."
"What a story, Trix."
"Yes, Trixie has great and powerful storytelling skills. Well, what do you think?" She asked as she nuzzled lovingly with the mare of her dreams.
Starlight rubbed the back of her head. "Well, uhh... you seem happy together."
"We are! We are the happiest couple in Equestria!" Trixie seemed close to tears of joy.
"Yeah. Umm, not to ruin the moment or anything, but you haven't noticed anything... off about your girlfriend?"
"Oh, Starlight," Trixie shook her head and got up from the coach to approach her friend's desk. "Poor, poor Starlight. I know what's going on. You have nothing to worry about."
Starlight raised an eyebrow as Trixie patted her head.
"Someday, you'll find your Special Somepony too. And just because I've found someone better, doesn't mean I won't have time for you. You're still Trixie's BFF, so don't be jealous of her girlfriend."
Starlight gave her a look that anyone with the most basic sense of empathy would identify as annoyance. Trixie took no notice. "Yeah, thanks for the reassurance. I'll try not to be jealous of..." She turned to Trixie's girlfriend. "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"
Trixie waved off the question as she returned to her love's side. "Oh, what's in a name, Starlight? A rose by any other name would still look sexy. All that matters is that she's Trixie's girlfriend... and soon, Trixie's wife."
Starlight blinked the slowest blink she ever blunk. "Wife?"
Trixie broke into excited giggles as she danced in place. "Yes, we're getting married! That's actually why we came here. Starlight, you will have the honor of being Trixie's best mare!"
Starlight rubbed her temples. "Goodey."
"Oh, I knew you'd be excited. Speaking of which, we got a lot of planning to do! Come on, Trixie's love!" Trixie levitated her girlfriend to her side.
Starlight rested her head on her hoof and slid her gaze to her Plant-Friend that sat on her desk; clearly the more intelligent of her two friends in the room. "Sheee doesn't walk by herself?"
Trixie scoffed as she opened the door. "Trixie's girlfriend understands that she's a queen and should be treated as such. It's a small price for Trixie to pay for the love of her life."
"Uh-huh. You two have fun."
"We will." Trixie called back as she left the room, too enamored with her girlfriend to even bother closing the door.
Starlight watched Trixie carry her girlfriend down the hall while a few students stopped to stare in confusion as she passed. She watched until Trixie had turned the corner and disappeared from sight. With a sigh, she turned back to Plant-Friend. "Should I tell her that her 'girlfriend' is just a full-length mirror?"
Plant-Friend of course said nothing as he was a plant; more of a listener than a talker. This left Starlight in silence as she contemplated the true depth of her friend's narcissistic delusions.
"Eh, she'll figure it out during the honeymoon. Maybe."