A career solider finds himself sent to Equestria. after the initial shock has passed and a few years go by hes settled down enjoying is slow life when Twilight out of the blue offers him the hardest mission of his life, becoming a school teacher.
"R" as most of the inhabitants of Equestria have come to call him came to the strange land of ponies soon after nightmare moon was defeated. since then a few years has passed and hes more or less settled down at this point and is contempt with what he has. That will soon change when Twilight will send him a offer to teach at her school of friendship. But what dose a forcefully retired soldier know about teaching friendship?
It was a scorcher of a day in your newish home here in Equestria. Celestia really went all out with whatever magic she uses to raise and lower the sun with today. Breathing in the hot and humid air of your tiny homestead you stop about 30 meters from your mailbox, taking another breath deeper this time your close youre eyes and lift your head to the sky feeling the suns warmth on your face brings a memory to your forethought.
"Hey Sweets, ill trade you my cookie for your jalapeno cheese" you said in your usual stern voice.
"sure but throw in your coffee too, im about to fall out over here" sweets haggled with his all too familiar shit eating grin.
agreeing the two of you throw each other the assorted items and star to go back to your MREs when Sweets chimes back in
"ill tell you man I cant wait to go back home and see my family and my girl" finishing that sentence he reaches into his undershirt and pulls out two mass produced stamped pieces of sheet metal with his personal information of them. Along with a third piece of metal this one masterfully crafter into a band to symbolize a union.
"I'm going to propose to her next time I'm state side."
Baker another crewmember of your m777 slaps Sweets on his back in a show of congratulations and says.
"Hey man congratulations I can speak for all of us when I say were all happy for you! where did you get the ring anyway we haven't been on leave for almost 5 months now. did you order it when online when we were on base?"
Sweets tucking back in his dog tags with a smirk on his face and reply's.
"Nah and nothing like that and this bad boy didn't cost me a dime"
"Then how'd you end up with what looks like a 10 damn grand ring? Because I know how you like to spend your money and I for damn well you cant afford something like that, Hell even I cant afford something like that and I'm two pay grades above you. so tell us how'd you get that ring?"
Sweets now looking somewhat worried looks to the whole crew now staring at him
"Alright ill tell all of you, just please don't turn me in or tell my girl please?"
one by one all of you agree to keep his secret. It was an easy choice for you sine Sweets had saved your life from a IED when you were first brought to the battery almost a year ago.
sweets looking reassured starts off.
"OK well you all remember when the regulators didn't have enough men to do a convoy mission so they were looking for volunteers and I was one of them? Well about halfway through the route we were attacked the convoy was forced to stop and we had to take defensive positions. It sounded like rounds were coming from every direction banging off our vehicle when my truck was hit with an IED the armor absorbed most of the blast and shrapnel but we were tossed on our side. i had to crawl out of that damn truck with my weapon and a M320 grenade launcher. I was in the middle of shooting a Illumination round off when I heard a scream from my left from behind the truck. There was a enemy soldier about to shoot Ramirez my driver. I ran around to the other side of the truck and got behind him and he took a 40mm to the back of his head. the round didn't go all the way through though so the flare was just in his head burning. With some of the light coming from his head I somehow saw a glint from his dog tags and this ring was on it along with what I guess was his name, couldn't read it so I just chucked the tags and kept the ring. So yeah technically committed a war crime but hey I don't have to pay for a ring now"
before anyone had a chance to say anything back to Sweets the radio chimes to life with a fire mission.
*Reaper mike one this is Reaper one tree fire mission battery adjust, #1 #2, #3. 10 rounds at my command, shell H.E. Lott Alpha Lima, Charge 2 Lima, Fuze ET, Time 16.2 Deflection 3226, Quadrant 265!*
the sound of gun fire can be heard in the background as the radio was giving out its orders. jumping to action you prep your cannon punching in the coordinates on the cannons computer with practiced ease.
"R make sure you have the fuse setter and have those fuzes are set to 16.2 seconds from detonation"
acknowledging his orders with a simple "will do!" you run to you cannons stockpile of munitions and begin to look at the fuses to see what they are set at. looking at the ones you can see the fuses all are set to 'PD'
"Point detonation... fuck, fuck, FUCK, FUCK!!!" you say to your self then call out to the rest of the crew "They are all set to PD who the hell has that damn fuse key?"
Price another one of your crewmembers specifically the powder monkey yells to you "Our glorious Sargent has it says he needed it for his sculpture hes making."
you now turning even more enraged "If he jeopardizes the safety of our front line guys over wanting to make another one of hiss bullshit art pieces I will kill him myself!" looking to the Sergeants tent you start sprinting for it. It's about 500 meters from your cannon. With a full on sprint you can make it there and back in about 5 minutes. While you are almost halfway there you star to hear the "Woop-Woop" of a attack helicopter looking up you see a old Russians Hind moving to make an attack run on your cannon. You turn around and try to yell out for your guys to get to cover or hide, But as you open you mouth to give the call you hear a dozens of *swooosh* as the the hind releases its payload of missiles on you guns emplacement. Seeing the missiles fly and hit your gun you turn for the tree line knowing that the hind wont leave a single soul alive in its wake. You sprint as fast as you can, faster than you've ever ran before. Dodging trees, bushes, roots, rocks and anything else that you saw in your way. Looking back to the top of the canopy you see the Hind closing in you feel it before you see it but a explosion lifts you off the ground and throws you nearly to the top of the canopy. On your way down you hit you head on a large branch as you fall back down to the ground. Coming to a stop on the ground face up you see the Hind fly over and on a returning path to the direction where it came. Looking up at the sky and letting the suns warm your face you start to feel your eyes get heavier and heavier. The Hind leaving you to the jungle's embrace you succumb to the grip of unconsciousness and close your eyes .
Opening your eyes once more you see that your mailbox is now only a few short steps away you quietly think to yourself "huh, today feels almost exactly like that day. My last one... my last one back home, on earth."
You are ripped from your thoughts as you reached for your mailbox handle it suddenly erupted with a brief show of green flames followed by a wavering smoke trail. this can only mean one thing and it didn't take long for you to deduct who sent the letter.
"Well I hope that fire doesn't hurt anything important in there"
closing the distance to your black but slightly rusty mailbox you reach for the latch again and tug it open. Reaching in and grabbing the contents without a second thought you start to make your way back to your porch where you usally like to sit down and read through your mail. You let your mind lingers on the past and a memory start's to play in your mind.
"Ah hell"
you groggily mumble to yourself. Reaching out to rub your eyes your hand is suddenly stopped about six inches from your bed that you just realized you were laying on.
"THE FUCK!"
You blurt out in surprise now fully awake you open your eyes only to be momentarily blinded by the sterile light of a hospital room. You also notice that not only are both of your arms are restrained but also so are your legs and even some across your torso. thinking to your self in a rapid tirade of thought.
"OK, I'm technically safe. I'm in a hospital room obviously but I'm pretty well tied down... wait was I captured by the enemy they were withing a half day ruck of our positions. The enemy... hold on... OH SHIT! That Hind launched missiles at them then tried to go after me. Fuck, I hope they at least had a chance to run before the missiles struck home."
The sudden rush of strong emotions also brought with it a elevated heart rate by the sound of the beeping machine next to your bed. A muffled voice outside your room caught your attention.
"Its awake! Hurry get Twilight!"
Followed by the sounds of what seemed like a horses gallop
"Why would they keep a horse in a hospital?... Could have been a large service or guard dog"
You say to yourself. You gave up trying to get out of your restraints after the 20th attempt when your wrist and hand lost feeling due to the handcuff getting twisted in on itself and locking up for about 30 minutes. Soon after you got the handcuff untwisted and feeling returned to you hand and wrist muffled voices caught you attention once again.
"Um Twilight I don't think this is a good idea, also I didn't have enough time before you came and got me to feed Angel you know how he gets if he doesn't have his breakfast. So it would be best if I could go and feed him real quick just so he doesn't get too angry with me ill meet you here later."
another voice chimes in, this one easier to hear and more confident sounding than the other.
"Fluttershy your not going anywhere." you see a purple glow out side your room. i know you are scared of this new creature but please this is important. I need your specialties with animals in this situation. A wondering self proclaimed scholar hears explosions off the path he was traveling to Ponyville, go's to investigate it and he finds no creators of from said explosion or smoke or debris or even a fire. But what he dose find is this unknown creature unconscious bleeding from what we think is his head. For all we know this creature could have magic on par with discord, and you know how he liked to make thing explode"
The quieter one Fluttershy you presume responds to Twilight in her barley audible voice from behind the door.
"I Understand that Twilight but why did you have to choose me for this and not a brave pony like Applejack or Rainbowdash."
Twilight the owner of the more confident voice retorts back
"I know Fluttershy but listen to me, they dont have the skill with animals like you do. Applejack is only good with farm animals and the only animal Dash is ok with is Tank. I didnt want either of them here because they both can have temper sometimes and what if one of them would have angered this creature and it dose have magic like Discord we would have a disaster on our hooves. That is one reason why i choose you to come along and not them, i need you to act as a moderator and or a translator if this creature is feral. Just act brave if not for me but for all of Equestrian."
FLuttershy taking a deep breath says
"Ok Twilight, ill do my best to help... umm you can put me down now please" Twilight giving what seemed to be a embarrassed laugh says "oh, right sorry Fluttershy. lets get going."
The purple glow disappears as the hospital room door starts to swing open. You start to mentally prepare yourself for a interrogation but what you saw next no amount of mental preparedness could have saved you from what you saw next. what laid before you was a five foot tall purple unicorn and a butter yellow pegasus standing in the doorway. One showing the face of intrigue while the other one having her face partially covered by her mane tried desperately to hide her expression of fear. With the silence in the air only being broken by the rhythmic beeps of the heart monitor you are currently connected to. After a minute of the rhythmic beeping the three of you just stare at each other in amazement, shock and fear. Surprisingly it was the shy yellow one to break the silence turning to what you guessed is Twilight and stating in a near whisper.
"Twilight i have never seen a creature like this before in my life"
Twilight Building off that.
"Neither have I FLuttershy. I've checked all volumes of 'Real and Mythical creatures of the Everfree' twice and there was nothing that matched this ones description. Maybe I missed something let me double che-"
cutting her off as you speak up for the first time since they opened the door
"Water" you say in a stern voice. Taking a second to remember your manners you add a "please" in a softer tone than before.
What you saw next will forever stay with you, you saw the purple one, Twilight looked to your restraints and state.
"you know I was against that tying you up like that and leaving you there until you woke up. But that was the only way the the Ponyville clinic would keep you under their care. I mean how did they expect you to get a drink if you are literally chained to a bed?"
Before you could ask them about the restraints you followed Twilight's gaze to a paper cup sitting on your bedside table. the cup was wrapped in a purple aura and began to levitate to the sink close to the entrance of the room you were currently staying in. More purple enveloped the faucet turning the water on and filling the cup, turning the water off and floating the the now filled cup back to your table. With pure shock and awe your mouth works faster than your head and you ended up blurting out
"How the hell did you do that!?"
Fluttershy hearing the tone of your voice and reacting jumps behind Twilight. Twilight now showing a con fused expression simply states.
"Do what? all I did was fill your cup up with some water with my magic '"
You keeping your expression of fear reply with a voice of fear.
"Yes that, the magic thing! How'd you make that cup float without touching it?!"
Twilight now gaining the look of someone in pure astonishment starts slow like she was explaining something to a child.
"It was just a simple levitation spell. Every unicorn foal learns it, actually its one of the first of many simple spells that we teach young ones when they are in school. But before continue and go on a rant about the fundamentals of magic and the developing aptitude of young unicorn foals we need to ask you a few questions..."
The notion of them asking you questions snaps your mind into action and defaults you to your training
"Ask your questions but you'll only get this from me. Name, R. Rank, Private First Class. Serial Number, 2725685692. Date of Birth Aug 16th 1998. Is your nation allied with the National Coalition Forces? I'm guessing not since I'm not being skinned alive then thrown in a vat of acid?"
Both of them go from confusion when you were listing off your POW information to horrified expressions when you mention the acid bath. Twilight is the first one to compose herself enough to form a reply.
"Sweet Celestia no! We do not skin ponies alive nor do we dump them into acid, that's barbaric and inequine! If that is what the National Coalition Forces are doing to each other then they will not make allies or friends with the Equestrian nation. What is your relation with them?"
A sigh of relief escapes your lips, thankful that you are not getting a acid bath today and since this so called Eqestria is at worst natural or non partisans.
"They are my nations sworn enemy. A war has been raging for a few months now. Me and my battery made landfall near the front lines last month. We've been pushing them back for the most part but lately the progress has been slow, almost standstill-ishly slow. Now whenever we make head way or gains it devolves into trench warfare and a stalemate was declared a few days ago. The last thing I remember was one of their old attack helicopter attacking my batteries emplacement and then came after me damn near killed me with a missile, then I was out. Speaking of which how long have I been out and was anything found with me or anyone else alive or... not?"
Twilight pulling out a quill and ink from her bags at the beginning of your explanation starts to jot down what seems to be everything you say. Then reply's when you are done.
"The pony that brought you here left yesterday after his weeklong stay, so just over a week. From his accounts he heard an explosion of sorts and decided to check it out he found you by literally slipping in your blood that was pooling around your head. He saw that you were still breathing he did his best to wrap your head and then began to carry you here since it was the best medical facility in this area. I had Rainbow Dash and her weather team to do a sweep of the area where he found you and all they were able to come up with was a strange looking saddlebag and some kind of strange metal stick other than that whatever you were waring when he brought you here. Also I'm going to undo some of your restraints so you can drink, you have shown no hostile tendencies to me or fluttershy here and I'm thankful of that but please understand that i am more than capable of putting them back on if my decision was made to hastily."
You see no reason to 'act hostile' towards these to and if it meant getting some water in your system you'd agree to almost anything at this point. You acknowledge the treat with.
"Understood all I want to do at this point is drink some, put on my uniform, get out of this poorly fitting hospital gown, head back to base to tell my chain of command what happened and to let the families of my battery know what happened if what you say is true and you found no one else."
Twilight nodding her head and then using 'simple telekinesis' to undo your restraints. As soon as your arm is free you grab the water cup and greedily down it. This startles them for the second time in the span of an hour and Fluttershy who was peeking out from Twilight side somehow manages to jump completely behind Twilights tail. Raisning an eyebrow to this you blankly say'
"What? this is the first thing I've had to drink in over a week, now i need to know the time frame on when I'm able to start making my way back to my base. To be honest they probably have already considered me KIA, MIA or a deserter."
Fluttershy peaking up from behind Twilights tail speaks up.
"Oh why in Equestria would you want to go back? Not to be mean but where you are from sounds horrible."
You putting down the now empty cup and then letting Twilight release the rest of the bindings sit up and try to take a few wobbly steps. Looking back to Twilight she now has another scroll floating Infront of her scribbling what you'd guess a diagram of how you stand. She takes a few looks at you then at the scroll then sates.
"I've got to know are you a tree dwelling species and is that how your species usually trot? "
You looking at her then making your way to the closet where your gear is stored you remark on their questions.
"I have to go back, as far as I'm aware I am the only survivor of my battery I need to bring closure to the families who have lost loved ones it is a sad duty but a important one. I also swore an oath to protect the week and to protect my nation nothing will stop me from completing that goal. I stood up from the crowd of onlookers when my nations leaders asked for protectors and volunteers. I stood up and said 'Ill defend that wall, I will take the sleepless nights and the bullets and the bombs so the ones who cant can live a free and happy life. Ill see the horrors that war brings so children don't have too ill be my nations defender. So hopefully one day my nation wont need me.'"
Coming to the closet labeled 'patients belongings' you open the door and are greeted by the sight of your gear. you squat down and start to do inventory outload.
"Boots, check. Socks, Check. Underware, Check. Undershirt, Check. Helmet, Check. Armor, Check. Tactical harness, Check. Mags times twelve, Check. Weapon, Do a weapons check and that's good, check. Trousers, Check. now blouse... hey did yall happen to have my blouse. Oh and yes Twilight was it? My species was tree dwelling about 400,000 years ago and yes this is how 99 percent of us walk. And before you ask the other 1 percent either uses crutches or are wheelchair bound... And one more thing were called humans not 'creatures' and since were talking about what we are what exactly are you and how do you use magic?"
Twilight who hadn't stopped writing the entire time you have been speaking looks up at you and starts off.
"We are ponies, specifically I'm a unicorn and Fluttershy here is a Pegasus. Unicors and alicors are the only two races of ponies that can manipulate magic like what you saw. We do it by channeling Equeses natural magic to a point using our horns and we use our thoughts to guide it to do out biding simple in theory much more difficult in practice. I'm guessing that strange cloth that Rarity was infatuated by was yours? She was extremally interested in the pattern and insisted on taking it back to Carousel Boutique to reverse engineer the pattern and clean it for you since half of it was covered un your blood and debris. She is our local towns master seamstress so it is in good hoofs I'm sure you can tell her you story and name... Oh sweet Celestia have I been so rude as to not ask for your name?"
You finding this somewhat amusing you just say.
"Seriously? I've been down and out for over a week and yall didn't go through my stuff to try and find out anything about me? I mean come on i had 5 form if identification on me."
Fluttershy coming completely coming out from behind Twilight replies.
'We didn't know if you were feral or not so we decided to be respectful if you weren't feral and not touch your stuff as much as possible... Rarity on the other hoof decided not to be respectful. in my defense I did tell her it was a bad idea."
You slightly annoyed at the aspect of a pony that you havent even met has your blouse and is now trying to reverse engineer the camo pattern state.
" As long as i get it back that will be fine, But yall can call me 'R' since most people can pronounce my actual name right anyway"
Twilight turning to go.
'I'm almost positive you'd want to be underway as fast as possible so ill take you to Raritys then to were we found you and you can be on your way. well conversate more on the way to Carousel Boutique then to were the pony that found you heard the explosion maybe with you there well find more evidence of were you came from"
you turning to Twilight simply state
"Sounds like a plan, you lead ill follow"
As the three of yall begin to walk out the hospital room you think to yourself
"Dont think now, rely on your trainning youll make it through this and get home. Your probably going to see alot of shit that im not going to understand fight it now, process it later"
Letting your first memory in Equestria fade back into the recesses of your mind, you make your way back to your porch and sit down on a old hand or for a better term hoof made chair and begin to sort through your mail.
"Now lets see what we have."
you say to yourself as you flip through the mostly junk mail. As you begin to flip through it a piece of cardstock catches your eyes. The embossed black and gold lettering reading. 'Grand opening of the skull viper bar! All welcome.' under the all welcome more lettering catches your eye this time smaller and not embossed. 'This is a establishment that serves both carnivores and herbivores. Every creature must be of age to drink and show a form of valid identification'
Above the grand opening lettering a picture of a griffon skull with a viper lait hanging out of the left eye socket and a vipers head mid-strike coming out of the griffons mouth with a scarf of red roses around were the griffons neck would be.
"A place that serves both herbivores and carnivores in ponyville? Huh, might file that under places to try when im craving a steak. Now lets find out what this scroll is all about."
Turning it over to reveal a royal wax seal of of Twilights cutie mark on it, your break the seal and unravel the scroll to see the beautiful calligraphy of Twilights writing's. Taking a second to wish that you could write that well only to remember that your horrendous hand writing was the only reason you were never the guy to fill out the 4513 form for your cannons crew. With that being said you start to read Twilight's letter.
Dear Mr R,
As our nations only KNOWN example of the homo sapiens I can understand why you would choose a somewhat isolated living situation. I know your first few interactions with the locals of ponyville were rather... lets say awkward. I can assure you that what happened last time will not happen again as the general attitude of the Eqestrian natives have changed due to (in my most humblest of brags) to me and my friends accomplishments in improving foreign relationship's and alliance's.
As im sure you are well aware of the school of friendship has played a enormous amount in improving relations with our closest allies. We have students coming from the new Changeling hive in the badlands, From the mountains of Yakyakistan, To the high cliffs of the Gryphon kingdom to the cliffs of the Hippogryph/seaqestria border. We even convinced dragon lord Ember to send some students our way. We even have requests coming in from overseas not just from the mainland. At the rate the school is growing and collecting "unique" students and faculty we'll have a student from every town and every country. Im up to my withers in requests to not only attend the school but teach at it too!
Which brings me to why im sending you this letter we could have a student from every country or civilization on Equis attend the school, but it would not be complete for you would be the final piece to complete the collection. I do apologize if this is sounding like a menagerie of a mad mare but it would be a crime to let the knowledge of your kind die with you. the knowledge of what you posses could not only help Equestria but our world as a whole. That is why I write to you with a offer to teach at the school of friendship. You will be paid obviously and the curriculum would be yours to manage as you see fit. My only request is that I may observe on occasion your lessons every now and again. The new school year start on the first of next month, I would like a response as soon as possible but I do understand if you need time to think it over the deadline for the job is one week before the school year starts.
Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle princes of friendship and headmare at Twilights school of friendship
"Shes right, it dose sound like shes trying to recruit me for some kind of rich assholes menagerie."
you say to yourself with a exasperated chuckle. Gathering the mail from your lap and heading inside you maul the idea over in your head.
"She did say I would get paid and extra cash couldn't hurt and it would be more reliable than selling the extra vegetables from the garden and homemade mead... probably pay more than that too with less work, and I hate those damn bees. but i would have to take care of each species equivalent of a moody teenager and I hate kids more than I hate bees or ducks for that matter."
A scratch at the door interrupts your thoughts as Herb your adolescent timber wolf companion lets out a whine wanting to be let out. Making your way back to the door and opening it for him he runs out as you call out to him.
"Good hunting"
Herb turning back to you and giving you what you've come to know as their species version of a bark to you and runs off to the tree line of the Everfree.
"Now back to contemplating this job offer... well if im in charge of the curriculum I could literally teach them about anything I want and how would they know if its true or not... do you know what would be good right now? a steak!"
The thought tears through your thinking like a runaway train.
"Yeah that would be good actually and dad always said never make a decision on a empty stomach. To bad I cant get a steak within 50 klicks of here. . . . . hold on a second"
looking back through the mail that you were still holding you find the pamphlet for the skull viper bar. The opening date is for today. Maybe you should check your mail more than once a week.
"Huh guess its my lucky day and its only an hour walk 45 minutes if I range walk. well lets shit, shower and shave real quick and head out."
You say to yourself, the thought of you getting a good steak and some some beer putting you in a good mood.
Taking roughly 10 minutes to get ready you put on your jeans, a simple grey shirt, your lucky hat on your short haired head. The old black hat with fading lettering that you can still make out if you squint 'Indian Motorcycles' and your shit kickers heavy duty black leather boots, your belt with a knife on your right side and a small leather pouch on your left containing your bits for the night. As you finish scooping a handful of bits into your money pouch a scratch at the door steals your attention.
"Sounds like Herb is back. Hold on boy let me get to the door"
saying the last part loud enough for Herb to hear you on the other side of the door. You tie off the pouch to your belt and flip the pouch into you left pocket as you make way for the door. As soon as crack the door Herb opens it all the way with his wooden snout pushing the door out of the way and you along with it, making a B line to his bowl of water in the kitchen.
"Damn boy cant wait for me to open the door all the way?"
As you make your way into the kitchen you look down and see droplets of blood leading you to your kitchen. Following the blood trail you see Herb face deep in his bowl of water lapping vigorously.
"That was fast, you're getting better at hunting... im guessing you get a wild hare this time? judging by the fur still on your head."
Herb stops drinking to look up at you for a second. as you make eye contact with him you see the leaves covering his body begin to perk up slightly and look a little more lively than when he left.
"Now listen boy, im going into town for a few beers and a steak. Now I want you to look after this place while im gone."
Herb lets out a growl that seemed like he was annoyed that he has to be good while your gone.
"I know I know, you don't like being alone and you don't like having to pull guard dog duty. But if your good ill bring you back a bone or two how's that sound buddy?"
Herbs small bush of a tail begins to wag slightly at the mention of a bone for him. He makes his way to you jumping and trying to put both his paws on your torso in his odd way to show excitement.
"Alright buddy, good luck ill be back sometime late tonight, be good."
Turning out of the kitchen you make for the door, exiting your docile you begin to range walk on the familiar path to town, you head begins to work as you calculate how much daylight you have left. Holding your hand out Infront of you, you place it at the bottom of the sun and begin to calculate
"Lets see, if I remember correctly one finger should equal about fifteen minutes and four fingers equals an hour. . . at the angle the sun is at now I should have about and hour and fifteen minutes before nightfall. That's good I don't to go through the shady side of Ponyville at night if I can help it. Well lets not waste anymore time."