Employee of the Month
Celestia’s sun shined brightly down upon Ponyville on a lovely afternoon. Located in the center of the village was its most popular eating establishment; Sugarcube Corner. Inside at the front counter was its sole cashier, Trixie, doing her best to ignore her co worker with a magazine, and it wasnt working.
“Hey, Trixie?” Pinkie asked from next to Trixie. “Hey, Trixie? Hey, Trixie? Hey, Trixie? Hey, Trixie?” The unicorn lowered her magazine.
“Ok, Trixie will bite. What is it Pinkie?”
“Do you know what today is?”
“Annoy Trixie Day?” The unicorn asked. Pinkie laughed.
“No, silly! That's on the 15th!” Pinkie held up a calender where the date in question was marked by a picture of Trixies head. The party pony instead pointed to todays date. “Today is the beginning of the judging for Employee of the Month.” Trixie scoffed.
“Pinkie Pie, don't you know that award's a scam?”
“What do you mean?” Pinkie asked, confused.
“Mr. Rich gives you that award, so you'll work harder for no extra money.”
“That is not true, Trixie. He gives it to me because I work harder. You could win it too if you tried harder.” Trixie scoffed louder.
“Oh, for what? To get my face on the Wall of Shame?” The two of them looked at the Employee of the Month wall that was covered floor to ceiling with only Pinkie Pie on it.
“Trixie, you've got it all wrong.” Pinkie defended. “Having pride in your work is nothing to be ashamed of. Why, it's the only thing that makes it all worthwhile.” The owner and their boss Mr. Rich put a hoof around Pinkie's neck.
“Well said Pinkie! This is going to be a tough one though! There's no clear cut winner!” The older earth pony then began to whisper. “Watch out though, Trixie appears to be on the verge of a breakout.” Trixie meanwhile had gone back to her magazine. “There might be a new face on the wall this month.” Mr. Rich was clearly messing with Pinkie but the mare was buying it. She looked over at the empty picture frame for the month.
“That's right, Pinkie. Trixie might sneak up on you.” The show pony and her boss began laughing at their joke while Pinkie walked over and looked at the empty picture, imagining Trixies face in it.
“Nooooooo!” Pinkie began sobbing. How could I have let the quality of my work slip so much?!” Trixies picture began laughing at the party pony until it turned into a cackle.
Pinkie did her best to continue with her job, all while trying to keep the Employee of the Month award off her mind. Sliding out a cake pan from the oven Pinkie flipped the pan over to remove the bake good, only it didnt. The mare began panicking as she shook the pan, flinging the cake to the ceiling. Screaming, Pinkie climbed onto the ceiling and tried scraping it off.
“Need some help?” Pinkie screamed again, looking to the floor and seeing Trixie looking up to her. “What are you doing?”
“Making…..a cake?” Trixie chuckled.
“You're losing it!” Pinkie kept trying to pry the cake off. “Pinkie Pie don't you know that award is a load of–” Pinkie finally pried the cake off, launching into a fan and spraying Trixie with it. “...garbage.”
“Please don't tell Mr. Rich about this! It'll hurt my chances of winning the award!” Pinkie begged as Trixie wiped her face.
“Trixie already told you, that award is a bunch of…” Trixie then got sprayed again by cake from the fan “...baloney!” Pinkie gasped in horror.
That is not true, Squidward. Like my prized measuring cup, that award is a symbol of…” Trixie snatched Pinkies measuring cup away.
“It's a symbol that you're a chump!” The earth pony screamed.
“No, Trixie dont!”
“And this is a symbol of what I think of the 'Employee of the Month' award!” Trixie brought her hoof down on the cup, only to hit something hard under it, holding her hoof in pain. “Ow!!!!”
“An experienced employee of the month always keeps a brick of lead with their equipment.” Pinkie said happily, revealing the brick.
“I’m telling you for the last time, that award is nothing but a joke!” Trixie stormed off, only to get sprayed by cake one last time, much to her annoyance. Pinkie couldnt concentrate any more. All she could do was stare at her photos.
“What if Trixie’s right? What if the award is a phony? Does this mean my whole body of work is meaningless?!” To her surprise all her photos now had army hats on.
“Stow that kind of talk, sailor!” One photo commanded. “This is war now, private! That's exactly what she wants you to think! This is no time to go lily-livered on us!”
“But, mam…
“There's no room for "buts" in war, soldier! She wants you to crack! She's trying to trick you, get inside your mind! You will stop at nothing--and I mean nothing--to defeat her! Have I made myself clear, private?”
“Crystal, mam!” Pinkie saluted.
“Good! Now move out!” Pinkie turned and marched away, more determined to win.
Luna’s moon had long risen as Ponyville fell into its usual nightly slumber. One pony however had a plan. From some bushes Pinkie looked into a pair of binoculars through Trixies window.
“I wont let Trixie win!” From inside her trailer Trixie was setting her alarm before going to the bathroom. Pinkie locked on to the clock. “Trixie cant go to work if she doesnt wake up…” Pinkie put her binoculars away. “Target sited.” Quietly as she could, the party pony began sneaking her way to the trailer. Creeping through an unlocked window she made a bit too much noise as she fell to the floor. Trixie peeked in from brushing her teeth, but found nothing of any interest. Pinkie was hiding behind a plant.
The magician went back to her teeth as Pinkie quietly approached the clock. She was only a hoof away when the bathroom doorknob jiggled. Thinking quickly Pinkie slid into the pillow case as Trixie climbed into her bed. However the pillow wasnt comfortable for her so the mare tried adjusting it. Pinkie had to hold in her giggles as Trixie closed her eyes. Taking her chance Pinkie reached out for the clock. However at that moment the unicorn opened her eyes and screamed in panic, throwing the pillow against the wall as finally the pillow case slid away from Pinkie.
“Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?!”
“ You can't win that award if you don't get up for work!” Pinkie snatched the clock and began smashing in on the ground. However much to her surprise Trixie casually put another alarm clock on her bedside, prompting the party pony to smash that as well. However the unicorn opened a cabinet with a smug grin, revealing it filled from top to bottom with alarm clocks. Pinkie wouldnt be deterred however, beginning the process of smashing each clock one at a time.
“Pinkie, this is ridiculous! If Trixie wanted to win that award I could do it with all four hooves tied behind my back!” Pinkie glared at her co worker.
“That could be arranged.”
“You’re a lunatic Pinkie Pie!”
“Maybe so, but I did win 'Employee of the Month' 26 months in a row.” Pinkie said uncharacteristically smug.
“Are y-Are you trying to say that you are better than me?!”
“I’ve been better than you 26 months--and it'll be 27 tomorrow.” Trixie had enough.
“I’ve had enough confetti for brains! That's it! I'm gonna show you how easy it is to win that award. I'm gonna be the new 'Employee of the Month'! I will prove to you that I am far more competent than you!”
“Well, I'm going in early to wax the floors!” Pinkie said, backing towards the door and not taking her eyes off Trixie.
“Don't bother; Trixie will have done it already by the time you get there!”
“Well, you'll have to get up pretty early to get there before me!”
“I don't need to sleep! Loser!”
“Well, me neither!” Pinkie finally left before sticking her head back in. “…26-time loser!”
This had turned into an all out war between the co-workers. Fighting off sleep the two ponies refused to take their eyes off each other from their respective bedroom windows.[SpongeBob and Squidward are watching each other through their windows]
“Look at her. Watchin' me.” Pinkie growled.
“I'm watching you, Pinkie. You're not leaving before me.” Trixie muttered through bloodshot eyes. The earth pony stuck her head out her window.
“Hey, Trixie, getting sleepy, huh?”
“No, how about you?” Trixie called back.
“Nope!” However the show pony had a trick up her sleeves. Trixie pulled a music box that began playing a lullaby. Pinkie fought as hard as she could, trying to fight off sleep but after a few moments she gave in. Finally passing out the earth pony began snoring in her sleep. An hour would pass before Trixie made her next move. She would sneak out right now and make her way to work. However the moment she stepped out her door she fell into a deep hole.
“Pinkie Pie!!!” Right on cue Pinkie was above the hole with a shovel, smiling happily.
“Hey, Trixie! Going somewhere?”
“Trixie’s going to wring you dry when I get outta here! Now get me outta here!”
“All right, Trixie. I'll stop by after work!” Pinkie then trotted back off to her home, leaving a screaming Trixie behind in the hole. The party pony climbed back into bed and pulled her blanket up. “Now to get some rest. Don't wanna look tired for my 'Employee of the Month' photo!” After a moment the earth pony began snoring. However she shouldve kept her eye on Trixie, who after a brief struggle managed to climb out of the hole. After a few minutes Pinkie was woken up by the sound of hammering. “Trixie!” The unicorn panted as she finished hammering the last board on Pinkies front door.
“That oughta hold her!” However a saw poked through, cutting a hole out of the door before Pinkie pushed it on top of Trixie and making a run for it. After a few feet a cage fell on top of Pinkie as Trixie casually trotted by laughing. Pinkie however slid out through the bars.
Trixie kept laughing to herself until she realized she had walked into a glass bottle trap set up by Pinkie.
“Pinkie! Why, you little…!” The pink pony breathed on the glass, writing ‘Loser’ before trotting off while Trixie threw a fit in her bottle prison. After a few feet she came across something that made her pause.
“Ooo, a muffin!” But as Pinkie went to bite it a claw came out and pinched her nose. “Yow! Trixie!!!!” The unicorn in question came galloping by.
“So long pink loser!” However Trixie quickly got trapped by a net as Pinkie went running happily. Before she could make it far she tripped over a fence as Trixie took the lead. For what seemed like hours the cycle continued until Pinkie was dragging on the ground, tied to an anchor. Meanwhile Trixie was dragging a boat she was strapped to. The two ponies were exhausted at this point.
“Pinkie?” Trixie and the party pony began waving white flags. “Truce?”
“Truce….” Pinkie moaned.
“Pinkie, Trixie can't take it anymore. If we keep this up neither of us will win the award.”
“You're right. We should save our energy for work where we really need it.” The two ponies untied themselves as Celestia’s sun began rising, bringing the dawn of a new day.
“Okay, let's have a good clean fight.” Trixie said as she and Pinkie shook hooves.
“And may the better mare win.” This looked like a peaceful meeting, but if only they could read each others minds.
“She's nothing but a lying, boneless, ink-squirting, big-nosed phony!”
“Look at that confetti filled, corn-fed smile. You can't trust her as far as you can throw her.”
“As soon as she stops shaking my hoof…”
“...I'm gonna make a run for it.” The hoof shaking finally stopped. The two ponies laughed nervously. Then Pinkie and Trixie broke out in a mad sprint towards their job, both unable to gain the lead. Meanwhile Mr. Rich was arriving at Sugarcube Corner to unlock the doors.
“Money, money, gonna make some money!” As he turned the key he saw his employees in the distance. “Ah, it warms my wallet to see my employees coming in so early. Girls, you're early!” Then he realized they weren’t gonna stop for anything as they very quickly approached. “Wait!” Both ponies barrelled through their boss and got to ‘work’.
“Look Mr. Rich! Clean floors!!!” Pinkie said with bloodshot eyes, madly cleaning the floors.
“Clean tables Mr. Rich!” Trixie wiped wildly at the tables, pressing so hard she broke through them.
“Clean dishes Mr. Rich!” Pinkie dropped all the dishes on the floor and begun wiping them with the mop.
“What's going on here?!” Mr. Rich was completely lost.
“t's much more efficient to clean dishes this way, Mr. Rich!!!”
“No!” Trixie appeared again
“Flowers and chocolate for you, Mr. Rich!” Trixie screamed, resorting to bribery while Pinkie stood behind the register.
“Look, I'm putting my own money in the register, Mr. Rich!” Pinkie said, dropping bits, before the two spilled into the kitchen. “Two measuring cups to increase productivity, Mr. Rich! Faster, Pinkie Pie, faster!” Trixie was keeping up with the muffin making as the baked goods began piling up/
“There's nothing to this muffin making Mr. Rich! I'll easily double your output, Pinkie Hog!!!!” The muffins began piling up at an alarming rate.
“Girls! Girls stop!” Mr. Rich pleaded, seeing the muffins piling up. “Wait, help! Help!!!!” The muffins piled up until the building couldnt take it anymore. After time Sugarcube Corner finally exploded. Any passerby took noticed when muffins began raining down.
“Hey, free muffins!” One pony said happily as ponies began helping themselves, all the while Mr. Rich sat trapped in one of Pinkies employee of the month photos.
“Wait, you've got to pay for those! Wait! Wait! Wait! Girls, the muffins!” Both Trixie and Pinkie came out of the photo.
“So, who's the winner of Employee of the Month?!” Pinkie asked wildly.
“Me, me! It's me!” The two mares kept asking all while Mr. Rich pleaded about his products.