Big Mac's Barn Blow Out
Big Mac's Barn Blowout
Big Macintosh grumbled as he pulled the plow on the Apple Farm. He normally didn't mind all the farm work he had to do, especially early in the morning like it currently was. He's been on the farm since he was a young colt, so he knew that getting out of bed at the crack of dawn was just a part of the job. However, this morning, Mac was having a tough time getting into the swing of things. He couldn't put his hoof on why, but for some reason the bulky red stallion had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. It felt like something was weighing him down, and making it more difficult to pull the plow he was strapped to. Every so often, his midsection would strain and make it more difficult for him to work. But, taking a sick day just wasn't an option when the only other farmpony on the field was his sister Applejack.
Also, Big Mac did indulge in a rather hefty meal the night before, so he figured his discomfort came from waking from his food coma too soon. Just as the red apple pony recalled all the delicious baked goods he stuffed his face with the night prior, he was snapped from his flavorful flashback as his plow got caught on a hard clump of dirt. Mac moved forward a couple of times to confirm that the plow was indeed stuck, so he reset his hooves to give it the ole heave ho. Even though his body wasn't feeling up to it, the outdoor stallion was going to give what he could so he could keep working. Giving the plow enough force without breaking the straps was no easy task for the strong stallion. He was surprised he needed to strain just to feel the plow start to move. But right in the middle of Mac's struggle, something unexpected broke his concentration as well as the wind around him.
*PPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT*
Big Mac's eyes widened in surprise as his body completely froze. There was no mistaking where that sound came from as Big Mac's tail finished fluttering in the resulting breeze. Suddenly, everything made sense to Big Mac. His stomach wasn't grumpy because it was early; it was grumpy because he was gassy. The stallion then realized that he'd gone the whole morning without letting out some morning thunder, and now, it wanted out. A cold sweat broke out on Big Mac's forehead as he hastily removed his straps. Everypony knew that farting was just a natural part of life and letting it rip in public wasn't unheard of, though others frowned upon it. However, growing up mainly around mares had given Mac a complex about this sort of thing. He could recall many embarrassing moments where he'd squeak one during dinner time and his Granny would scold him, or the time he'd accidentally beefed in Applejack's face causing her to joke about his 'Mighty Winds' while fanning the scent away with her stetson. Hay, there was even an incident a few weeks back where the Cutie Mark Crusaders asked Big Mac to inflate a bunch of balloons with his flank, so they could get their Hot Air Cutie Marks. He'd refused but not before his plot made the sound of a deflating balloon and caused all three fillies to topple over with laughter.
Mac couldn't let this be another one of those stories and looked frantically for a place to let loose without anypony else finding out. He considered going to the outhouse, but with the way his stomach was gurgling, he knew that kind of enclosed space would keep the fumes lingering for a while, and he could just hear all of his family complaining about his "brand" by lunchtime. He needed a place big enough and ventilated enough so he could let it all out quickly and easily. However, there weren't many options on the farm to hide out. The Outhouse was too small. He couldn't bring himself to fart in the house because everypony else was inside, just waking up and getting started on breakfast. So, the only other option Big Mac had was to bake brownies in the barn.
He frantically galloped into the barn, slightly hoping the rest of his family didn't notice despite the amount of noise his huge hooves made as he moved. When he got inside, Big Mac didn't seem to care whether the barn door was open or not. Given the pressure in his stomach, the stallion figured that the door would fly open based on the force of his expulsion, regardless of if he closed it or not. There was no doubt in Big Mac's mind that this was going to be a big one, so he set his front hooves similar to how he would when he bucked apples, only instead of lifting his back hooves, Mac simply lowered his head, raised his rump, and grunted.
"Hnnggg!"
*BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPTTT*
The first burst was big, loud, and incredibly relieving. For the first time all morning, Big Mac felt like his stomach was being soothed. However, the red stallion tried to ignore how good this feeling was so he could focus on letting it all out before anypony else happened to walk into the barn. So, closing one eye, Mac pushed even harder.
*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT*
An amazing gust blew below Big Mac's tail, one that felt stronger than any wind the Wonderbolts could conjure up. As it kept going and going, Mac couldn't help but feel a little impressed with himself. He didn't know he had this much in the tank, and his sense of pride along with the feeling of relief made the whole experience that much more enjoyable. It got to the point where Big Mac didn't want it to end, so when he heard the pressure in his plot diminishing he tried to force out as much gas as he could.
*PPPRRT*
*BBBBRRPP*
*PPPPPPPRRRRTT*
*BBBBBBRRRRTTTT*
*PPPPPRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT*
*FRRRRRRT*
Each grunt was followed by a resulting brap and as they kept passing through, Mac almost felt like he was moaning by the end. Even when he got tired and felt like he was done, one final gas bubble burst without any additional effort. Mac chuckled at how sudden and surprising that last one was. Mac then took things a step further by lifting his head up high and inhaling the strong musk that he'd just released. He had no idea how much he needed this. Not only did he feel like a thousand times better, but it was so freeing to let everything go without a care.
"Aaaahhh, Eeyup." Big Mac said softly, after he sighed in relief. This day was finally looking up for Big Mac…at least until he heard hooves clopping right behind him. Turning around quickly, Mack saw his sister Applejack leaning against the barn entrance and clapping her hooves together slowly.
"Well dip me in applesauce and call me a pie!" Applejack said with a much cheerier tone than Big Mac was expecting. "And here I was thinking you gave me yer best shot when ya cracked one off in my face."
"Oh, uh. Morning sis. That wasn't-" Big Mac tried to deny his deed, but Applejack cut him off.
"Wasn't you?" Applejack laughed at her brother's pitiful attempt at lying. "Ya know, I'd believe you if I hadn't just seen ya peel the paint off these walls."
"Please don't tell anyone, AJ!" Big Mac blurted out in a panic. "I'll be the laughing stock of the whole farm."
"Oh Mac, Farting ain't something to be ashamed of." Applejack said, her voice now much softer. "In fact, you should be proud."
*R-Really?" Big Mac asked.
"Fur sure. I mean, I don't know anypony that can rip air like that." Applejack reassured her brother.
"Ah shucks, I wasn't even trying." Big Mac said, bashfully.
"Oh is that so? Well then maybe we can have ourselves a little contest." Applejack said as she turned her flank towards Big Mac. The mare punctuated her statement by letting out a short burst of her own.
*BBBRRRRPPPP*
Big Mac stood stunned at what he just witnessed. He's never seen his sister fart before so this was quite the surprise.
"Later tho. We got work to do." Applejack continued, reminding Big Mac about the plow he left abandoned. "'Sides, you probably need to recharge yer gas tank tank dontcha, Big bro."
"Eeyup." Big Mac said with a chuckle. As he followed his sister outside, the stallion caught a whiff of the toot his sister just released. He had to admit, she was some stiff competition. However, the stallion was happier knowing that he didn't have to hide his farts anymore as he took in his sister's scent. "Hehe, horse apples."