> Isn't it Great to be Different? > by BronyDerp117 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter One: A Burnt Out Star > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isn't it Great to be Different? Written by BronyDerp117 Inspired by Great To Be Different by Forest Rain Chapter One I've lived a difficult life. I'm not a normal pony. I'm an abnormal pony in an abnormal town, Ponyville. I've never been the normal one. I've always been the smart one, or the weird one, or the shy one, or just the different one. Usually all of those, mashed together into one strange individual. I've never listened to the same music as everypony else. I've never dressed or talked like everypony else. I was teased, looked down upon, and spit at. Being the grandcolt of a infamous Equestrian mastermind didn't help either. So what if I'm related to him? That doesn't make me him. I would listen to a rock song titled "Would It Matter" every night. It made me think: would it matter if I didn't wake up in the morning? My life was never so dark in only my fifteenth year of life, like I was trapped in a freezing, dark stone room with rain pouring above the roof, chilling water slowly seeping and crawling its way through the cracks, landing on my drenched head with my cold mane in my eyes, to just add to my thick bag of countless emotions, most of which were negative. But when I was sixteen, a small shimmer of light came into my life. She was like a beautiful rose; she was kind, sweet, and one of the most loving mares I ever met. She brightened my life the day we met. She accepted who I was, and she loved me for who I was. She wasn't like the others, who simply looked at me with a look as if to say, "What the hay are you?" She looked at me and saw me for who I was, a unique stallion living in a standardized, judgmental world. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little on that, maybe I'm not. Either way, there were a lot of cruel ponies who gave me reason enough to think that. Anyways, on my eighteenth birthday we went out to dinner to a restaurant on the beach in Los Pegasus, where I grew up. I didn't move to Ponyville after the incident. I still remember every little detail of that night at that restaurant. I ordered deep fried hay fries and an avocado sandwich, and Shining Star ordered a simple salad with ranch dressing. The hay fries were salted perfectly, and had a delicious crisp to them. Shining Star's salad was very fresh and crunchy, judging by the sounds I remember. Our waitress was very professional and had a cute, bubbly personality. She also had very unique eyes; they were a very distinct aureate color, unlike any I had seen before. She was our age, too, around seventeen or eighteen. I made sure to leave her a large tip. After eating, we walked around to the back of the restaurant to the beach down a small slope. The cool orange sun was slowly descending into the sparkling water that was littered with little white caps. The enormous sun was reflecting off the water in such a way that the star was under the surface of the water, glowing its bright orange-pink light into the open sky, turning the few clouds across the sky into soft pink pillows. It was the perfect sunset for the perfect mare. I knew that was the night. While we were in mid-conversation, I told her to close her eyes. She made everything seem cute. Just the simple act of closing those big brown eyes made my heart flutter. Her silky dark brown mane flowed like a flag on top of a skyscraper in the soft wind of the sea. I reached into the pocket of the hooded vest I was wearing, and pulled out a small navy blue suede box with my hooves. I opened the box, and inside was the key to a new life. A better life. I told her to open her eyes, and she immediately gasped. It wasn't a very big diamond, but I spent my life's savings on it, so it wasn't too bad. In the light of the sun setting, it sparkled a pink gleam like pink lights through a disco ball. But instead of lights and disco balls, it was a stunning star shooting its cool rays through a small diamond. When she opened her eyes, she saw me on my hooves, holding a sparkling diamond out. Tears began to flow down her face, then I asked the question. "Shining Star, when my life was at its absolute darkest, when I had thought about ending it every single night right there in my dark room, you opened the window and brightened it. You showed me life. Now, I want to give it to you. Shining Star, will you marry me?" Her tear-filled big brown eyes shimmered in the radiant light the diamond was giving off. She gave me the biggest grin I had ever seen and said after she found herself able to speak, "Yes!" I carefully slid the engagement ring onto her unicorn horn, then I embraced her with the biggest hug I could muster. Tears of joy were running down her face, and I was getting teared up, too. I had been so unbearably nervous. We stood there on the beach lost in each other's warm embrace for what seemed like hours with the calm wind gently flowing through our manes. All that mattered in my life was her, and I had just sealed an entire lifetime with her. Or so I thought. After that night, we began to plan out the wedding. We decided to hold it at a little place a few miles down the shoreline from where I proposed during that sunset. However, when we went to the wedding planning agency, they said the next available time to have a wedding there would be in three years. Apparently, it was one of the most popular locations in Los Pegasus for weddings that year. She told me we could have the wedding somewhere else, but I told her no. She had dreamed of getting married there her entire life, and I was going to make sure she fulfilled that dream. I told her I didn't care if it took ten years. I told her that I would make sure our special day would be perfect. Now fast-forward two years and eleven months. It was three weeks until the wedding. Three weeks until I began a new life with the mare I loved. What a great three years it was. We spent nearly every day together, and I developed a new love for something. Writing. We decided to write our own unique vows. So while I was writing them, I noticed just how much I enjoyed writing these simple lines on the paper. The lines that I used to hate having to write. Every story I had ever written had been an assigned idea for English class. I had never written my own story before. A story that was mine, not theirs. I paused the writing of my vows, and I wrote a story. I sent it in to a local newspaper agency that automatically copyrighted your works for you. It exploded with attention, and many ponies sent letters to me giving me criticism. They were surprisingly helpful and precise with the many, many errors I made. A few months later, I wrote another story. And then another, and then another. My writing skills began to develop more and more, and they finally showed in a story I posted five months after the first. This one exploded yet again with attention, so much that it was featured on the front page of the newspaper and a famous book store in Los Pegasus. People asked me if I was a published author, and if I had any books in stores, and they were surprised when I told them I was not. It felt amazing to be acknowledged. I learned a lot during the three years of being engaged with Shining Star. I learned how to play the guitar, to sing, and I learned to make oil paintings. Though I still cannot draw that well at all. And I learned to write great stories, and I learned more about my fiance. We were already best friends, but those little, tiny details that came out just strengthened us further. One lesson I learned, however, was one I never wanted to learn. It was three weeks before the wedding, and we were making final preparations. My literature class at Los Pegasus University had just ended, when I decided to send a message to Shining Star asking about the wedding cake. In Los Pegasus and some other western Equestria cities, they had these message delivery systems. It was very complicated, but simple to use. You could purchase this magically enchanted device, and put a note in there, then you pressed a button and said the name and magic code of the unicorn you wanted to send it to. That was the only disadvantage though: you could only send to unicorns, and each unicorn had been assigned a magic code. On the note, I wrote, "Hey Star, are we getting the cake today or this weekend? See you when I get home from class." I slipped the note into the slot on the device, and pressed the button, then said, "Shining Star. Magic code C4459." The device then made its usual beeps and hums, then a dinging sound when it had sent. I then proceeded to trot home. It had been a long day, and I needed a nice laugh from Star. I arrived at the tall glass and metal building that was our apartment building in Los Pegasus, and trotted through the double glass doors. I greeted the receptionist as I walked past and up the stairs to the fifth floor, where Star and I's apartment was. When I unlocked the door, opened it, and saw that nopony was home, I became slightly worried. I searched around the apartment to see if Shining Star had left a note for me, and I found such a note in the kitchen, attached to one of the cabinets. The note read in Star's elegant unicorn writing, "Hey Forest, went to go get carrots at the store for dinner. Be back at around 5PM. Love, Star." The note did nothing but make me worry even further. It was 6PM, and Shining Star had never been late to anything unless something extremely important came up. I began pacing around our apartment in an anxious frenzy. I eventually decided to calm down, take deep breaths, and enjoy a nice read. I went into the kitchen and prepared myself a cup of piping hot green tea, and made my way to the small study in Shining Star's and I's bedroom. But as I was exiting the kitchen, my best friend, Rolling Thunder, came bursting through my door in a heavy sweat and pant. "Thunder, what the hay are doing busting down my door?!" I yelled angrily at the slim midnight blue coated stallion. His charcoal grey spiked mane was in an absolute mess. He stood panting for a few moments as I gave him a death glare of anger. My death glare was famous among my friends. "Sh-Shining... Shining Star. Hospital... now," he said through gasps and pants. My heart sunk. I knew my friend well enough to know what he meant. I broke off into a full gallop and barreled past Rolling Thunder, knocking him over. But he quickly got pack on his hooves and began to gallop right behind me down the stairs and through the bottom floor. I pushed through the fancy glass doors and started flying as fast as my Pegasus wings would let me in the direction of the hospital, and Rolling Thunder still followed close, though he was obviously fatigued. While we were on the way, I looked over to Rolling and asked him, "What in Celestia's name happened? Is Star okay?" He looked over at me and replied, "Something about reading a message and not seeing a stagecoach coming straight at her!" My eyes widened as I realized that message was mine. I began to fly even faster, faster than I had ever flown before. We got to the hospital after a few moments, and I rushed through the door nearly knocking over two massive security guard stallions. There were two nurses at the front desk. I galloped up to the desk and said with a desperate voice, "Shining Star, what room is she in?" The mare on the right, who appeared to be older and had a snow white coat with a blood red mane, said to me, "Um, room 364, but--" I didn't let her finished as I took off down the white tile floor hall and up the wooden stairs. I flew down the next hall to room 364. The door was closed, so I pushed through it. In the room, there were two stallions wearing white coats and doctors badges. They were at front of the bed looking at me with shocked expressions. It was almost like they were blocking the bed from me seeing it. I prayed to Celestia that my suspicions were not correct. I looked at them, and screamed at the top of my lungs,"Where is she?! Where's Shining Star?!" They looked at me with heartbroken and defeated faces. As if confirming my nightmare, they stepped to the left, revealing an occupied hospital bed with the snow white sheets covering the pony's head. On a clip board hanging off of the foot of the bed, read Shining Star's name and her medical condition. I couldn't believe it. The star that shone light into my life had just burned out. > Chapter Two: A Fresh Start > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Two The funeral was on the date of when our wedding was supposed to be. It wasn't on purpose, it was just the worst possible coincidence imaginable. The only available times for service was either the day of our wedding, or a month from then. So we decided to have the funeral on the day Shining Star and I were supposed to be starting a new life, not mourn the loss of one. To make it worse, it was the coldest winter in Los Pegasus in over forty years. It was below zero degrees Fahrenheit when I arrived at the graveyard. It was this day when my faith began to fall. When I needed somepony to be there for me the most, no-one was. Everypony gave me dirty looks, which confused me thoroughly. It was like high school all over again -- I was the lone, awkward kid standing at the back, hiding my eyes behind my mane, not sure what else to do, as my social skills were never very refined. I didn't know what to do. I was confused. Why were they looking at me like that? I figured it out during the service. I walked up to Shining Star's father and asked him if he was doing okay. Losing your only filly must be horrible. What he did, however, changed me for a very long time. What he said shook me to my very foundation, and made me feel like a monster frozen in an icy dungeon frozen from the waters of guilt. He looked me in the eyes, and with the angriest voice I had ever heard from him, he said to me, "It's your fault! If you hadn't messaged her, and just have been a little damn patient, she wouldn't have looked at that stupid parchment and noticed the stagecoach coming at her! You've got guts to show your face here." That broke my heart, and shook me to my very core. The darkness of my teenage years returned to me, and I felt like somepony had ripped out my heart, frozen it in nitrogen, then stitched back inside of me, causing my blood to run cold. When I displayed my look of the purest of hurt, he spit on my hooves, gave me the dirtiest look he could muster, and walked past me, making sure he aggressively hit my right shoulder and wing. Too many emotions to count flooded through me when he did that. I felt guilt, because he might have been right. I felt angry that he dared blame me for this tragedy. I felt sadness, depression, hurt, despair, all those from the sting of my soon-to-be wife being gone forever. I desperately craved to be happy again. I craved to see Shining Star's gentle white smile, to see those big brown eyes glimmer in the moonlight on the balcony of our apartment, to hear her say my name, to hear her tell me she loves me, to hear the squees she would make when talking about the wedding, to spend my life with her, to grow old together. And to die together. I left right then. I wouldn't be able to face anypony else, especially her two brothers or her uncle. They never liked me from the start; they were like everypony else. They were controlled by the standardized judgmental society of our dear Los Pegasus. I flared my wings open and began soaring into the bitter cold winter sky. I arrived at the front of my apartment building and crashed through the doors and galloped up the stairs to my apartment. When I closed the door behind me, I let out all my emotion there in the living room. I punched a hole in our thin drywall, kicking a table lamp across the room, its fireworks of porcelain exploding against the wall. I yelled until my voice went hoarse. I cried until my eyes were physically incapable of crying any further. I shook with pain, anger, and fear until I passed out. The pain of losing the one person who shone light into my life; the anger directed at myself for being impatient and messaging her; the fear of myself doing something I would regret. It all crashed on me at once like a heavy weight being thrown at me. I finally collapsed onto the grey carpet in our living room. I laid with my back down, staring up at the ceiling. I slowly closed my eyes, and the last tear I held slowly rolled down my cheek. She was gone. And it was all my fault. All mine. The following months would be no better. Each day in class, my focus would slip more and more. I excused myself early more frequently, and went to the nearest bathroom and cried until the tear wells -- no, oceans -- in my eyes ran dry. An ocean for Shining Star. A sunset for Shining Star. My life savings for Shining Star. My shattered heart for Shining Star. I remember when my mother died when I turned twenty. She never got to see the love of her life have his own biological grandfoals. Her daughter that she had with her ex-husband had kids, but I did not. My father technically had grandfoals, but not blood-related grandfoals. I was his only child. That will be one of the biggest regrets of my life forever. When she passed, I became horribly ill from the depression. But Star picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and glued them back together. If it wasn't for her, I doubt I would've even lived to be twenty. In my college, the professors were starting to become angry with me. I was cutting class, wasn't paying attention, and my grades were slipping. When I failed every class I had the summer after Shining Star's passing, I decided to drop out. I needed to leave, get a fresh start. I needed some kind of closure. I needed to get away from the pain. So, I decided to move to a small town out in the country. Get a job and a little apartment in small town Ponyville. What better place to get a fresh start then on the other side of the country? My father fully supported my leaving. In fact, he encouraged me. He cried when I boarded the train to Ponyville, but I know that he knew I needed to get away. We had both experienced pain no pony should ever have to feel. But of course, Star's father found a new way to make me feel like the dirt of Equestria. He called me a coward, and said that I was running like a little filly away from my problems that I wasn't stallion enough to confront. But he did not know the pain I felt. Every night, he came home to a warm dinner that his wife, Shining Star's kind mother, prepared for him. He did not know my pain. He did not know true heart break. A few weeks before the move, I called this little apartment place in Ponyville. They had a small studio apartment available for rent for a very decent price: three-hundred bits a month. I accepted the offer and they gave me a date, which was July eighteenth, the day of Shining Star's birthday. The day after the phone call, I purchased the train tickets at the local train station. It took me the entire three weeks to get fully packed. Everytime I would come across an item of Star's, I would go into one of my "episodes." However, they slowly subsided from full on sobbing and yelling, to soft and gentle cries of pain. My heart ached to see her again, especially when I came across one of the many hair-bows she would wear. It had her delicious smell of sweet peas on it. She had always loved sweet peas, just like my mother. Those two would talk for hours on hours about flowers and gardening, while my father and I would talk about whatever sports season it was, or about a new film that came out that looked interesting. When I arrived in Ponyville, I had a much too eager welcoming party awaiting me. She was a pink pony with a ridiculously large, curly mane. She was bouncing up and down like she had just eaten a hundred sugar cakes. She showed me various Ponyville landmarks and cafes. She was surprisingly friendly and energetic. Her high pitched voice was a bit annoying, but easy to get used to. But it was her laugh that made me remember her. That laugh was the most contagious laugh I had ever heard. But, I just couldn't find the power to laugh. All will to do anything was virtually non-existent. I wanted to walk into the infamous Everfree Forest and hope one of the fearsome creatures that called it their home would go and end my life. Nice and quick, so I could be with Shining Star again. Pinkie Pie, the pony's name, caught on to my depression and asked me what was wrong. I decided to just tell her. I thought it would've been better to get it off my chest instead of bottling up my emotions like I did when I was a teenager. The pink pony's mane literally deflated, and told me that she was sorry and said that it wasn't my fault for what happened. But how could it not be? If it wasn't for my stupid message, I would still be in Los Pegasus. In fact, I probably would have been eating lunch with Shining Star. When we arrived at my apartment, I was actually a little disappointed. That was the happiest I had been in months. Despite the end of our conversation, the hyper pony managed to make me smile a few times, and even snicker. In a way, Pinkie Pie reminded me of Shining Star when the two of us would talk about the wedding. Star would sequel and bounce with excitement. Of course, her energy levels couldn't even compare to the pink pony's, but it still reminded me of her. I looked at the apartment building in front of me. It was made from a yellow-colored wood with white walls and a hay looking material of roof, and was three stories tall. It looked nice enough. I walked through the front double oak wooden doors, and went to the reception desk, where a bored looking mare that appeared to be in her late twenties sat. She was tapping her hooves in a repeating pattern against the desk she was seated behind. Unless my eyes were playing tricks on me, the mare was reading a Daring Doo fan fiction that I wrote. I walked to the desk and told her my name and the room number I was given in a letter. After she welcomed me and gave me an obviously standard guarantee about cleanliness and the bunch, she confirmed the room I was given and gave me the keys to the room. Apartment fifteen, floor two. I opened the door to my new apartment with the keys I was given, and I was surprised at just how nice this little, cheap apartment was. It wasn't a luxury condo in the heart of Canterlot, but it was pretty decent for how cheap it was. There was a twin-sized bed neatly made with a white sheet, beige blanket, and white pillows. There was an old, dusty bookshelf that housed about a dozen old books with two cabinets on both sides. To the right of the bookshelf was a small kitchen, and to the left was a bathroom with a simple toilet, sink, and step-in shower with an old style shower head. It wasn't much, but it was comfortable enough. I put my bags in the closet next to the door and I walked over to the bed, where I noticed a door to the fire escape. There was a fair amount of space to the left of the bed. The perfect amount for a guitar and enchanted recording devices. I very much enjoyed making records of original music and selling them, so I was very glad to see I would still be able to that comfortably. The first thing I did was test my bed. The blankets were soft and fuzzy, and the pillows were fluffy like a cloud, but the bed's mattress was a little too firm for my tastes. But it was a bed, and in an apartment I could afford, so I wasn't going to be picky. I slowly dozed off, for the train lag caught up to me. When I awoke, the hot summer afternoon sun had faded over the horizon and a full moon was starting to ascend. Shining Star loved full moons. Every full moon, she would light four candles and place them symmetrically around a little statuette of Luna's Official Seal, and we would both sit next to it, and stay up all night stargazing and admiring the beautiful work of the night princess. We were both extremely fond of Luna, and anypony who knew us at all knew that. The full moon on this night however, felt hollow and lifeless. I decided writing and recording a new song would cheer me up. I pulled out my old guitar that I had brought with me, and plugged a chord similar to an amplifier chord into my music player, where I had my recording device ready. I first laid out a beginning beat by pressing various buttons on the magically enchanted device, and filled in the little bits with my guitar. Once I was satisfied with this instrumental work of music, I began to write lyrics. I let the emotions from my heart and very soul pour onto the paper. Just like I always did. Its kind of funny, really, how I was horrible at poetry, but could write great songs and stories. Just another thing to make me different. Once I was satisfied with the lyrics of this song, I began to sing, "I'm back into this darkness The pain of losing you stinging me further Their words never fail to make me feel heartless..." I continued to sing the song, and finished after a few more lines and choruses. After some fiddling with the sounds of my guitar and the beat on the device, I saved it and it spat out a disc with the song on it. I grabbed a nearby pen with my hooves and wrote across the top of the disc, "Back To This." I then printed out a few more copies to sell. I immediately went outside and saw that there was still some ponies on the streets. I went to them and asked them if they would like to possibly buy some original music. Most of them agreed to at least listen to the song, and they all said the same things. They could tell just by the look of me what the song was about. They all said things like, "I'm so sorry for your loss," and, "She's in a better place now." I sold all twenty discs I made and returned to my apartment. When I opened the door of my apartment, I noticed there was a folded piece of parchment on the floor. I picked it up and read the note. The note made me feel a little better. It read, "I'm sorry for your loss, but know this: there will always be ponies who care for you. Love, Derpy." For a little while, my thoughts began to turn to normal thoughts of sports and the Wonderbolts, and recent films. Until I heard a door slamming outside. When I heard that sound, I immediately had a flashback of myself barreling through doors to that one hospital room. I sang the song one more time before I decided it was time for bed. I crawled into the firm bed and pulled the cotton, beige covers over my cold fur, and drifted off into a restless sleep. Life could not have been darker, colder. Little did I know how much my life would change in the next week. > Chapter Three: The Note > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Three I awoke the next morning to the sun's warm early morning orange rays hitting me in my forest green eyes. I grunted and grumpily kicked off the covers, and rolled out of bed. I stumbled to my hooves, and let out a loud yawn as I stretched with my joints and back crunching like little foals running on snow with thick rubber boots on. I tripped over my own hooves a few times, but I eventually made my way into the bathroom. After performing my morning duties -- showering, brushing my light green mane, and shaving for the first time since Shining Star's death -- I decided to go down to the reception desk and ask the receptionist if she knew of any decent cafes around. I opened the dark wood door of my apartment and walked down the stair to the lobby. As I stepped into the lobby room, my eyes fell upon two familiar, unique eyes. She had an ash grey coat, and a blonde mane and tail. Her mane swerved on top of her head to the left, and a ponytail laid down the right side of her neck. She had a brown bag laying to her side with a strap attached to it going around her neck. However, despite her distinct coat and mane, it was her eyes I recognized. Those unique, golden-colored eyes. Her name was Ditzy, according to her name tag at the restaurant Shining Star and I ate at on the night I proposed to her. Ditzy had rich golden eyes. Her irises where aureate like an expensive, pure golden watch. They shone through her transparent glasses and right at me. She smiled instantly when she saw me, and I returned the kind gesture. I walked over and said to her, "Well, hello there! I haven't seen you in three years." She chuckled lightly and replied, "It's nice to see you. You and your marefriend were very cute together when I waited your tables every time you came. Shining Star, was it? Anyways, I just recently moved here to get a fresh start. I'm a mailmare now. So, how come you're here?" I sighed at the mention of Shining Star's name, "I came here for a fresh start, too." That was all I could muster. Ditzy noticed the sudden change of expression, and asked me, "Hey! Whats wrong? Did something happen between you and Shining Star?" There seemed to be a tang of false cluelessness in her voice. "She passed in a stagecoach accident," I replied while looking at the ground, and I was struggling to keep the tears back. I felt a grey hoof push up on my chin, and I found myself looking into magnificent golden eyes. "Well, let's go cheer you up, eh? I'll take you to a nice cafe, and we can get some coffee." She gave me a comforting smile, and a sincere embrace of sympathy. It felt good to be in the forelegs of another pony. The last time I had embraced somepony like this was the day before Star died. When we broke off the hug, I was actually a little disappointed. Ditzy told me to follow her, and we walked out of the building and onto the outside sidewalk. I followed her down the street where there appeared to be a cafe. On the way, she explained to me that she delivers early morning mail, and that's why she still had her mailbags on. Why this mare was showing me such a magnificent act of kindness when she barely knew me, took me a very long time to figure out. When we arrived at the cafe, a professional, well-mannered waitress greeted us. She welcomed us, and led us to our table after she asked us, "Table or booth?" Ditzy and I decided on a booth, and the waitress led us to a booth in the corner of the dimly lit restaurant. We sat down on the incredibly comfortable cushions, and the waitress asked us if we wanted anything to drink. We both asked for coffee, and the waitress told us she would be right back. We were the only ones in the cafe, so it wouldn't take very long. Ditzy then began to ask me some questions. "When did she pass?" I sighed. I knew it would have been best to just tell this mare in front of me, instead of bottling everything up like I used to do when I was teenager. She was the closest thing I had to a friend in this new town. "Three weeks before our wedding. I proposed to her that night that you waited us for the first time." Ditzy's golden eyes went wide, and she gasped, "My goodness! That must have been hard for you." I looked into the eyes of Ditzy. They were inviting, and comforting. I sniffled and replied, "Yeah, it was. Everything possible that could have gone wrong did. " Ditzy gave me a confused look, and asked me, "How so?" "It was the coldest winter Los Pegasus had in over forty-five years, the funeral was on the day that our new life was supposed to begin, not a day for mourning, and her family and my friends betrayed me. I blamed myself for her death, and I still do. But when I needed somepony the most, everypony betrayed me and blamed me, too. I was literally driven away from my fiance's funeral by her family." I finished with a low, pain-induced voice. The same pain that I carried for nearly seven months. Ditzy's mouth held slightly open, and after a moment's pause and some hesitation, she asked me, "Have you been doing any better since that?" she asked me, correctly assuming I became depressed. I, more then I intended to, aggressively replied, "I've been just peachy. The love of my life was taken from me because of my own stupid decision to message her when I knew she would be trotting in streets. The only reason I didn't commit suicide is because I knew she would have been ashamed of me. So yes, I'm doing just fine with the fact it was my fault she's gone." Ditzy gave me a look of slight hurt from my sarcasm, which for some reason made me feel even more horrible. "You know, it's not your fault. You can't--" she began, but I interrupted her. "Yes,I can. Its my fault she's gone. Mine," I sternly interrupted with guilt lucid in my voice. Ditzy opened her mouth to speak again, but closed it, indicating she changed her mind about replying. A few moments of silence later, the waitress came to our table and gave us our mugs of coffee, and asked us, "Are you ready to order?" I simply held my death glare at the newspaper on the table, hoping that if I stared long enough that Shining Star would somehow be back home. Ditzy looked up at the waitress after noticing my silence and looking at me, "Just two blueberry muffins, please." The white-coated, red-maned waitress quickly scribbled something on her notepad and answered, "Coming right up!" She then put the pen back into her poofy maroon mane. Ditzy thanked her and took a silent sip of her black coffee. I could tell she wanted to speak to me, but her and I both knew that I wasn't in a talking condition. We sat there, silently drinking our coffee while waiting for our waitress to bring us our muffins. A few moments later, she came back with a small plate with two muffins on it, and set it between us. I quickly ate my muffin, while Ditzy ate it fast as well, but at a slightly slower pace from my own. Once she finished, she looked at me and said, "I've got to get going. I'm working a double shift today, that's why I didn't change out of my mail bags. Are you gonna stay here awhile longer or are you gonna leave with me?" I, for the first time since my aggressive replies, looked up at the blonde beauty in front of me. I said to her, "I'll stay here awhile, Ditzy." Ditzy smiled at me and said, "By the way, I go by Derpy." She then nodded with a smug grin and walked to the counter, where she paid the five bits for our two muffins. She then skipped off out the door. I stared wide-eyed at the door, thinking my ears had just lied to me. I shook it off and finished my cup of coffee and slowly got out of the booth and decided to go home. I left a three bit tip for the waitress, and lazily walked out of the cafe and down the street to my apartment building. I was going to walk past the doors and around the block a few times before I went inside. I hoped that a walk would help clear my head. As I got close to the door, however, I felt something hit the top of my head. I brushed the suspicious object off of my head and saw it fall to the ground. It was a simple white envelope sealed with a heart. Confused, I looked up and saw the golden-eyed beauty simply wave at me from the fire escape, and take to the skies. She was still wearing her mail bags and glasses. I thought I was crazy when I saw her. I picked up the envelope and walked into the lobby of the building, then up the stairs to my apartment. I opened the lock and walked inside. Once inside, I closed the door and walked over to my white and beige bed, and sat down. I carefully peeled off the heart seal, and inside the envelope was a folded piece of lined paper. I unfolded the letter, and what was written made my day. The note simply read, "It's great to be different. Love, Derpy." > Chapter Four: Isn't It Great To Be Different? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Four (Disclaimer: The song lyrics on this Chapter belong to Forest Rain, not myself. He has given me permission to use his lyrics.) To this day, that note is stained from the tears I shed. I sobbed deeply after reading that. It made me realize that I have beaten myself up, contemplated suicide, blamed myself for things I did not cause, and tried to change who I was so I could be accepted. I never stopped to think: what if it wasn't my fault? What if I actually did end my short life? What if I just tried to be myself? Those simple words from that little note lingered in my mind, and not the subtle kind of lingering. It was the kind of lingering that refuses to leave your head, like an annoying yet catchy song, except these words were anything but annoying. It was like a fire had just been started inside me -- no, not a fire, that represents anger too much. It was more like a water stream within myself with a strong current, but cut off at the top of a waterfall, preventing the natural passionate flowing. But after I read that note, it was like the barrier was removed, like the waterfall within myself flowed, spreading throughout my entire being, down to the deepest reaches of myself that I didn't even know existed. Inspiration slowly wormed its way into my mind as I immediately picked up my old guitar and got to work. I spent hours writing these lyrics. When I finally finished the beginning, I started strumming that old guitar, playing some gentle and soothing chords, and sang what I had written so far. "It was a dark day when I lost my faith I wasn't the pony I thought I'd be And it seemed that no one could relate There was nothing left for me to see So I took a walk to the edge of the town And thought of leaving it all behind When I saw a little letter fall right out of the sky As a grey mare hovered way up high I thought I was crazy when I saw her wave And then simply fly away So I opened the letter and looked inside And what was written made my day... It said--" As I began to sing the chorus, I heard a voice from behind me sing along with me. Her voice was familiar, as it was soft and beautiful, but also a bit bubbly.There was a very slight rasp to her voice as she sang the chorus with me. "Isn't it great to be different? Isn't it wonderful to be exactly who you are? When you learn to start accepting yourself You'll become a shining star" When I finished singing, I put my guitar down and turned around, and my eyes met her's. Those golden eyes. Those beautiful, deadly eyes. My eyes widened when I saw her leaning against the frame of my doorway. She was smiling widely at me. She then did something I did not expect at all. She took off her glasses, and her eyes slowly went crossed, turning into a wall-eyed stare. I realized just why she wrote that note now. Not only were her eyes the most unique eye color I had ever seen, but she was cross-eyed without glasses. She must of gotten tormented in school. Maybe that's where the name "Derpy" came from. Derpy, to the best of her abilities, looked at me and said, "I heard you play and sing before, and I heard a sadness and guilt in your voice that I just couldn't bear. I just wanted to tell you that the hardest thing I faced was not the teasing or the pain, it was convincing myself that I wasn't stupid, strange, or imperfect. And helping others do the same." Her words... they changed me. At the time I didn't know it, but those words changed me forever. Tears welled up in my forest green eyes, and the little salty drops of tears began to silently roll down my cheeks as I smiled gratefully at the only pony to believe in me for almost a year. A year of sadness and depression. A year of blaming myself. A year of guilt. A year of shattered love. But this mare that I barely knew showed me a kindness that only the closest of friends would exchange. This pony did something only one mare had ever done before; she opened the window of the dark room in my heart. "Shall we finish this song?" She teased me with a smug grin. I returned the smile and mumbled a "sure," then we started writing the song. We spent hours on it. Writing it, playing out the guitar, getting the rhythm perfect, setting the drums to a perfect beat, and getting the volume levels right. Once we finally finished, we recorded the song on my recording device and played it back. It sounded amazing. We both looked at each other and smiled. Her aureate eyes were so inviting, so comforting, and so loving. Before I knew it, I found that our lips were gently pressed together. I closed my eyes and savored the warmth spreading throughout my body. I hadn't felt this warmth, this pure happiness, in almost a year. And I didn't feel guilty either. I felt like, if Shining Star was looking at me right now, she was grinning contently at me. Derpy and I pulled away from each other after a very long moment, and we simply grinned at each other. She laid her head on my shoulder as she sat in a chair next to me, as I quickly printed out a few dozen records. I laid my head back, and made sure Derpy didn't wake. I whispered, "Thank you," quietly. However, she wasn't asleep. "No problem at all." She looked up at me with her big eyes and a gentle grin. I returned the gesture. "I can see why you go by Derpy," I said to her. She chuckled and replied, "Yup, it's what my friends used to call me in high school." Puzzled, I asked her, "And you don't find it offensive?" She shot a warm smile at me as she raised up her head, and replied, "Not anymore." I nodded and laid my head back against my chair. I felt Derpy lay her head on my shoulder once again, and we both drifted off to a deep sleep. And for the first time in a year, there was a flicker of light in my life again. > Epilogue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Epilogue These last few years have gone by like a blur. I'm exactly where I should be. I'm a published author, and I'm a successful musician. Derpy is no longer a mailmare and uses music as a prime source of income as well. All of her songs get sold out in the stores immediately when they come out. Derpy and I's song went platinum, getting over 20 million sales. We've preformed Great to be Different live many times, and twice in front of the Princesses. However, despite my biggest dreams coming true, one achievement tops them all; I'm married to the mare I love. Derpy and I got married two years after that first kiss. While we were dating, we would stay up all night talking about completely random things like sports, movies, music, friends, Los Pegasus, and truck loads of other topics, and we still do. We rarely talked about our relationship. We would talk about stuff, and just savor every little bit of each other's company. The night I proposed, I took her to the cafe she took me to all those years ago. I told her to order whatever she wanted, and I told her to not worry about the prices. We weren't struggling with money anymore at that point, but she was still conservative. She ordered a bowl of split pea soup. What I ordered, however, earned me a look of confusion from Derpy. I ordered coffee and a blueberry muffin. When she asked if my stomach was feeling ill, I laughed and told her I was fine, and she'll see why I ordered a muffin. When my coffee and muffin came to the table, Derpy was already eating her soup, which had arrived a few moments prior. She hadn't looked up when the muffin arrived. Man could that mare eat. I asked her if she would like a bite of my muffin, to which she happily said yes. However, when she looked up, her aureate eyes grew wide, and her mouth hung wide open. On top of the muffin was a diamond necklace; the same diamond that had been in the pocket of my vest almost four years ago on a beach in Los Pegasus. She slowly looked from me, to the necklace, then back to me. I chuckled lightly and stepped out of my booth. Derpy eyed me the entire time I was doing this. I got down on my hooves, picked up the necklace, and held it in front of Derpy. I'll always remember every word I said. At this point, the entire cafe was watching us. I said to her, "Derpy, when my life was at its darkest it had ever been, even worse than my teenage years, you showed me a kindness that not even the best of friends commence in. When the only thing you knew about me was my name, and that I was hurting, you selflessly took me to this very cafe, and tried to make me feel better. I guess you underestimated the size of my wound. However, with one little note, you stitched that wound together. And that note was correct: it is great to be different. It is wonderful to be exactly who you are. When I saw the note and began writing a song for it, I remember hearing you sing along with me. At the time, I didn't notice but, when I think back, I remember my heart racing when I heard your voice. After that day, our song, our first kiss, and the start of our relationship, you showed me life again. This was Shining Star's diamond. I think," I hesitated in saying the next words, "I think wherever she is, she's looking down at me, smiling, seeing her diamond being passed to the love of my life. I think she would be happy to see me move on, and not cry and pity myself for my entire life. Derpy, you opened the window in my life, and now it's my turn. I want to give my life to you. I want to start a new life with you. Derpy Hooves, will you marry me?" Tears began to run down her face, and she covered her mouth with her hoof. She eventually composed herself and looked at me with an excited grin. She said to me, "Yes! Absolutely yes!" She held her hoof out to me, and I put the engagement necklace that housed Shining Star's diamond around Derpy's neck. I held Derpy's hoof as I got up, gave her a little twirl, and kissed her. Then we lost ourselves in each other's embrace. The entire cafe was clapping, and I think I heard an older mare crying. After that, we went back to our apartment and wrote a new song. And now we're married, and a little foal is on the way. We've decided on the name Dinky Hooves if it's a filly, and Shining Forest if it's a colt. My father will be able to see his own grandfoals before he passes to the next life. Another life goal accomplished. Derpy and I have also started a non-profit organization for abnormal fillies and colts. Whether it be medical conditions, physical conditions, or mental conditions, they can all go to our organization and write out their problems to us. We help them find themselves. We help them find just how special they are, how great it is to be unique. It's funny, really, how one little note changed my life forever. And I owe it all to the golden-eyed mare with the wall-eyed stare. The mare who accepted who I was before I even knew her. The mare who has gone through the same pain I have gone through and has come out of that dark tunnel, into the warm sunshine. The mare who saved me. The mare who pieced me back together. The mare who restored my faith when all was lost. The mare I love. But, Derpy did speak truth on that note five years ago. It's great to be different.