Anon and Rainbow Dash raise a foal that Dash has no responsibility for at all.
Many years after Equestria had fallen into a sense of stability, Anonstallion and Rainbow Dash settle down and raise a child together. Only one problem- Rainbow Dash has the mothering skills of a snake, and Anon must resort to being a male wife. Will the Mane 6 be able to help her become a better mother? Or will Anon continue to raise their foal on his own?
In the springtime days of the humble town of Ponyville is where this story starts, where dreams of a school of friendship and a castle in place of Twilight Sparkle's library-from-a-tree are just distant waking memories, and many a year after all those mysterious souls would wake up in the everly encompassing Everfree Forest, lumbering and stumbling about and unsure of where they were, or how they became ponies.
One of those same ponies would come to be known as Anon, a spry yet sardonic young pegasus stallion with a coat of emerald gold and a mane of jet black. There was not many ponies like him, and most ponies did not particularly want to look like him. But as all things do in Equestria, Anon found his place.
“Housewarming!” Fluttershy timidly shouted, struggling to lift a large bag of feed as her wings flapped furiously, knocking her hoof on Rainbow and Anon’s new land faring abode. She waited for a few seconds before getting much of an answer at all.
“Ah! Oh- It’s you, Fluttershy, come on in!” the door answered with a wispy, masculine voice, cracking open with seemingly nopony to show for the answer itself. Inside, Anon was rushing about with his rather effeminate apron, trying to cook, clean, and rear anything and everything from a turtle to a full grown mare.
“Sorry to be rude-” Anon shouted from the kitchen. “Our foal is hungry and I have no idea where Rainbow flew off to!”
Fluttershy tutted her hoof on the ground and pushed her mane out of her face as she peered around, a flash of dust catching her eye as Rainbow Dash flew onto the scene.
“Finally, some useful help around here!” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. “Flutters, you literally HAVE to help me!”
“Oh, with what?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, you’re good with all of that ‘animal training’ stuff, right?”
“A problem with Tank?” Fluttershy mewled. She barely could say or prepare herself for what the response would be before Rainbow darted off into her usual prism of a contrail.
“Uh-uh.” Rainbow Dash shook her head before picking up her foal in her hooves. “This thing right here.”
“Rainbow, this isin’t really my area of expertise… You know, he’s not really an animal…”
“Nonsense! Twilie told me ponies are animals too. I was raising him pretty well for a while, but I tried to use your methods too and now he screams ALL DAY. Do you get that? All day. When I was his age, I was already training to be an expert flier!”
“Well um… I suppose that could be true.” Fluttershy said, trying to hide any indication of doubt in her tone.
“Well, what have you been doing for little baby…”
“Killdozer!”
“Right, little baby Killdozer…”
“Right this way, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash announced, as she lunged across the room with grandiose flair, pulling off a tarp off a large box shaped object, revealing a crib.
“Um, Rainbow Dash… Why exactly was there a blanket over Killdozer’s crib?”
“Pfft. A blanket?!” Rainbow Dash laughed at Fluttershy’s observation. “It’s a bird cage cover! You really think i’d put a BLANKET over the crib? That’s rich, Flutters, it’s to make sure my foal isin’t screaming through the night! Anon even cut some holes through here so he can breathe better!”
“Oh! Um, yeah!” Fluttershy bumbled over her words and paused for a minute “That works on uh, my birds…”
Rainbow Dash picked up her foal, it’s eyes still adjusting to the daylight. “Killdozer here is kind of not working out for us though, he’s not really up to my standards. Anon and I are thinking of having another one! Wouldn’t that be just awesome, Fluttershy?”
“Um… If you think so, Rainbow.” Fluttershy looked around the house and quickly placed down the feed bag. Thoughts of how to let Twilight and the rest of gals know the many concerns she had with Rainbow’s parenting skills raced through her mind as she trotted over to the door.
Fluttershy scurried along the streets of Ponyville, weaving throughout crowds and gracefully gliding over the fences that dappled the town’s outskirts. She frantically glanced over and over again at the sun as tried to keep pace as she arrived on the horizon of a hill, with all of her friends awaiting her arrival.
“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on there sugarcube! What in tarnation are you rushing about for?” said Applejack.
“Well- uhm…”
Fluttershy lowered her ears and looked away. “Uh…”
“Come on Fluttershy! Spit it out already!” Pinkie Pie giggled.
“RAINBOW DASH IS HAVING A TON OF TROUBLE CARING FOR HER FOAL AND IS TREATING IT LIKE AN ANIMAL AND I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD MAYBE HELP HER!” Fluttershy shouted out in one fell swoop.
Rarity sighed. “I noticed this a few weeks back when I was having tea with Anon. We really should do something, you know.”
“Well gals, I think I know what we should do! This is a grade A friendship problem!” Twilight Sparkle cheered.
“I-I really don’t think this is quite a friendship problem, darling.” Rarity stuttered out before being interrupted by a resounding huzzah from the rest of the mares.
“Come on Rainbow! Open up!” Pinkie Pie said in a sing songy tone at the door.
The door opened up, the same raucous sight as before coming into light. The same blanketed crib, the same gravity waterer, the same Rainbow still talking to her foal about how he needs to become a Wonderbolt…
The other five spread out, looking throughout Rainbow’s home for any upstart problems or easy solutions. Twilight glanced about the building before taking out a small quill from behind her ear and began jotting down some notes, in the usual, detail-oriented style she was renown across Equestria for. Her gaze seemed piercing, yet it also seemed like she was looking right through anything that could possibly make her upset.
“Aw, this takes me back to when I was just a little foal.” Applejack said after pulling up Killdozer’s blanket with her mouth and placing it into her hooves. “This really makes me happier than a hog in high heaven to see other little fillies and colts will get to have something like this to remember!”
“Forgive me Applejack, but- a rag?” Rarity questioned.
“It’s not a rag, Rarity.” Applejack retorted, snorting air out of her muzzle. “I remember when Granny Smith gave me one of these so I could sleep through the night all peaceful-like! I used to use something like this to fall asleep even during a zap apple harvest!”
“Ooh, ooh! And look at this cool watering device! I’ve got one of these for Gummy back at home!” Pinkie Pie interjected, stepping in out of seemingly nowhere.
“Yes, yes, you see, I don’t really think the proper care for a foal involves any err… “darkening blankets” or “gravity waterers”.” Rarity crooned.
“Well you would say that Rarity, considering you grew up all froo froo and fanciful. I reckon what we’ve got here is a usual happy Ponyville childhood!” Applejack said as she smiled back at Rarity. “Nothing here to worry about!”
Twilight Sparkle slowly trotted over to the commotion. Her ever optimistic face was as unwavering as ever as she closed her eyes and unfurled her note she had been writing up.
“You see girls, Rarity is right.” Twilight Sparkle nodded, looking over her notes. “Long ago, Celestia gave me a bit of assigned research on foal raising, and almost none of this correlates with the optimal feeding/loving/burping schedules I read about!”
“Well Twilight, dear, I don’t think that’s exactly what I meant either.” Rarity said, shaking her head slowly in response.
“I think that seems like a wonderful idea, Twilight” Fluttershy peeped up, after a momentary pause.
“Well then hold on gals, because I will be right back after I get Spike to find me ‘The Ultimate Foal-sitter’s Guide: Basic Care for Everypony’!”