You Know Nothing Of Agony

by Jest

First published

With time ticking out, and no other options left to them, the rulers of Equestria turn to the lone human in Equestria to save them from Chrysalis' plot.

With time ticking out, and no other options left to them, the rulers of Equestria turn to the lone human in Equestria to save them from Chrysalis' plot.


Warning, this story contains discussions of torture.

Bear Witness To The Savagery of Man

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“Ha, you will never break me, pony,” spat Chrysalis, the changeling straining against her bindings to glare closer at the solar princess. “You will never find out where I’ve hidden the elements of harmony. My allies will destroy Equestria, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Celestia sighed and rubbed her hoof against her face. “For the last time. You live in Equestria. If the ponies are gone, then you will have no food. If we go, you do too.”

Chrysalis laughed heartily, the changeling twisting and contorting on the table as she cackled.

“What's so funny?” Luna demanded, leaning in close and prodding the queen in the side. “Do you find your own demise so amusing?”

“I find your ignorance laughable,” Chrysalis retorted. “Once Tirek gets here he will steal your magic, and we will remake Equestria how we will it. Your ponies will not be gone, though you personally certainly will be. Perhaps Tartarus, perhaps a cell for two on the sun.”

“What are you talking about?” Celestia countered.

“I mean that we have struck an accord. I hide away the elements of harmony and he splits Equestria with me,” Chrysalis explained. “We would both hold trump cards against one another, ensuring we both fulfill our end of the bargain.”

“You would merely be entering into a stalemate where both of you would be scheming against the other,” Luna pointed out.

Chrysalis grinned. “Exactly as planned. Competition breeds change, and eventually, perfection.”

Celestia shook her head. “This is going nowhere.”

“I agree,” Luna added.

“And that's not about to change. You ponies don't scare me one bit,” Chrysalis exclaimed. “Bunch of grass munching prey couldn't hope to intimidate so much as a salad, never mind me.”

“I suppose we have no other choice,” Celestia began.

Luna gasped. “You're not saying we should use him, are you?”

“What in Tartarus are you two going on about?” Chrysalis demanded, scowling at the pair of alicorns gazing down at her in the dark, dimly lit stone room.

“We have in our care, an apex predator. One who would think you nothing more than a parasite and who will break you,” Celestia retorted.

Chrysalis scoffed. “Impossible. We changelings may not be the most physically powerful, but as a hive, we are the most dominant predator on the planet.”

“You know that reminds me a lot of what he said one time,” Luna remarked. “Though mostly hairless, and weak compared to even their closest cousins, they dominate all known landmasses.”

“And had gone to space, exploring the outer reaches of their star system, all without magic,” Celestia added.

“What are you two babbling… wait. You speak of the human don't you?” Chrysalis laughed. “Oh, that's rich. I’ve studied your supposed dimensional visitor extensively and found him utterly without note.”

“I think you’ll find that appearances can be quite deceiving,” Luna retorted.

“Ridiculous,” Chrysalis shot back. “The man as you call him is a vegetarian just like you ponies.”

“Yes, but that is out of choice. Have you not seen his incisors?” Celestia asked, tapping her teeth in emphasis.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You ponies are sometimes born with similar vestigial teeth but that does not make you predators any more than being green makes a pony a plant.”

“I told you that we would need to use him. She isn't going to believe us otherwise,” Celestia pressed.

“Spare me the melodrama and send this torturer of yours,” Chrysalis demanded. “This game bores me and it has yet to even truly begin.”

“I suppose our hooves are tied. Come sister, let us leave this one to her fate,” Luna offered.

“Just… before we go,” Celestia began, a sad look crossing her face. “I must apologize for what is about to happen. I admit we are desperate, and this seems to be the only possible solution.”

Chrysalis snorted. “Get on with it already. Your attempts at hyping up this hairless ape only make you look as foolish as you are ugly.”

“Believe me or not I am honor-bound to apologize. Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures and given that the human is both a predator as well as not an Equestrian citizen he is the only one truly capable of going to the necessary lengths,” Celestia explained.

“Ooh spooky,” Chrysalis mocked in a faux scared tone. “Your about as frightening as well… a pony trying to be intimidating.”

Celestia shrugged. “I’ve said what I needed to say. Luna, if you would?”

“My pleasure,” Luna replied.

The dark alicorn then lit her horn, briefly illuminating the small stone room, as well as the single solid metal door that lay before her. Chrysalis winced, the changeling having grown used to the soft glow of the single candle sitting on a holder above the exit. Thankfully the bright light only lasted for a second, just long enough to undo the locks on the door and pull it open.

Where it was revealed that a tall, rather muscular pale-skinned human was waiting just outside. He wore only a simple black t-shirt, and a pair of faded blue jeans as well as a disappointed expression on his face.

“You failed eh?” he asked.

“I’m afraid your services will be required after all,” Celestia replied.

“Remember. Your mission is to get the information out of her with any means necessary. Do this and we will guarantee you will live in luxury for the rest of your days,” Luna added.

The man hummed thoughtfully, one hand running over his smooth, bald head while the other clenched and unclenched at his side. His gaze was cold, and he looked at Chrysalis like she was little more than a slab of meat waiting for him on the butcher’s block. Though briefly unnerved, Chrysalis quickly schooled her expression and scoffed haughtily at the man.

“Come then. The sooner you make your attempt the sooner we can end this charade,” Chrysalis taunted.

“I’ll do it,” muttered the man in a low tone. “But only to help those six nice ponies that helped me out all those years ago.”

“Equestria thanks you for your service,” Celestia exclaimed, patting the man on the shoulder.

“The uh… tools you requested will arrive soon,” Luna added.

“Thank you,” the man replied simply.

The alicorns then walked past him, allowing the much taller human to duck through the door and enter the cell. Once inside, the solid slab of metal slammed shut with a loud thunk, leaving the room in silence. The quiet didn't last long, as the man trod slowly up to the bound changeling and gazed down at her curiously.

“Where have you taken the elements of harmony?” he demanded.

“Really?” Chrysalis replied. “You're not even going to slap or punch me first?”

“Head trauma dulls the pain receptors, and disorients the foe,” the man replied. “I want you fully conscious and aware for what comes next.”

“Ooh not bad,” Chrysalis remarked, glancing out of the corner of her eye at the male. “What novel did you hear that particular line from?”

“None,” he replied. “It is simple fact. Plus I don't particularly want to get one of my fingers bitten off.”

“Smart,” Chrysalis offered, gnashing her sharp fangs in the man’s direction.

“So you don't want to do this the easy way eh? That's fine, though I suppose I should tell you more about what's coming before we really get into it,” he remarked.

“What are you going to do? Slap me around, maybe give me a firm beating?” Chrysalis mocked. “Please. I’ve had worse.”

“Wait is that really the worst you’ve experienced before?” asked the human. “I would have assumed you had done far more terrible things.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Why bother? A good few kicks are enough to make any pony spill their guts.”

“I mean I just assumed given your desire to take over the world that you would have done far more horrible things than just beat someone up,” he replied. “The last time a human had such a goal he killed millions and brought war to nearly every corner of the globe.”

“Now you're just being ridiculous,” Chrysalis flippantly exclaimed. “Millions, really? There are barely thirty million ponies, and they are one of the most numerous races on the planet.”

“You know it's funny you mention that. I think Equestria, the planet I mean, is a good one-third the size of my homeworld,” explained the human while stroking his chin. “Everything is smaller here, and your gravity is much lower, so it would make sense.”

“That’s still preposterous,” Chrysalis pointed out. “War on that scale would devastate the land well past the point that you would actually even gain anything from taking over. It’s counterproductive.”

“That's the thing about being blinded by ideology. Your actions don't have to make sense,” answered the man. “But that's enough of that tangent. Let us get back to discussing what's about to happen to you.”

“Ahh yes, the torture. Finally,” Chrysalis mocked. “I thought you were just going to try and bore me to death.”

“Nah, if I wanted to do that I would employ some manner of Chinese water torture, but that would take months we don't have,” he replied with a flippant wave of his hand.

“Water torture?” Chrysalis questioned. “How would that even work.”

“Supposedly the Chinese tied people up beneath a tap opened just a tiny bit so it would drip onto the head of the victim,” he explained. “This would supposedly drive people insane over a long enough time as they wouldn't be able to sleep or even really think clearly.”

“Devious,” Chrysalis muttered.

“Quite, but not what I had planned,” replied the man. “The first of the tools I requested were several young bamboo plants. Granted this method of torture will take a few days. I feel as though it is significantly excruciating to get the result I want.”

“Wait, plants? You're going to bludgeon me with a plant?” Chrysalis scoffed. “I take back my earlier compliment.”

“Oh no, I’m not going to hit you with it. I’m going to tie you down over top of them and then allow the plants to grow straight up through your body and out the other side,” he explained.

Chrysalis blinked. “That doesn't sound possible.”

“It is quite possible. I saw the Mythbusters episode on it,” he retorted. “Bamboo plants can grow three inches an hour and can pierce flesh, and presumably chitin provided it has nowhere else to go. I’ve heard this is quite a horrible fate, as you can actually feel the plant growing up through your body.”

“That wouldn't work,” Chrysalis stated. “My chitin is too hard.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” he began, pacing slowly in front of the changeling. “Which is why I’ve requested several other tools. We don't have time to test them one by one you know so I’d figured we’d throw everything we had at the wall and see what sticks.”

“See what sticks?” Chrysalis questioned.

“I forgot that some turns of phrases don't translate,” he waved a hand in the air. “No matter. The next one is more likely to work anyway, though I do hope they locate enough rats in time.”

“Now I know you are mad. Simple rodents pose little threat to even a pony,” Chrysalis pointed out.

“In normal circumstances, yes,” he admitted. “But if trapped in say, a metal bucket slowly being heated by a flame, and your face, they will find a way out.”

“I… what?” Chrysalis muttered.

“What? Too stupid to understand this one? They said you were smart,” he teased. “It's quite simple really. The rat will do its best to escape the flame, so they will use those sharp little teeth of theirs to burrow through your soft tissue in hope of getting away.”

“Thats.. Monstrous,” Chrysalis murmured.

“Oh that's not the half of it,” he began, grinning widely. “I plan on stopping it halfway through, just after the rat has eaten its way through your eye, and is making its way towards your brain.”

He cursed and planted his face into his palm. “Damn. I gave it away.”

“Aha yes. I guess you can't use that one,” murmured the changeling weakly.

“I think we’ll have to skip straight to the boiling then,” he declared, stopping to look at Chrysalis curiously. “Say. When changelings are boiled do they turn red?”

“What? Why would I know something so gruesome?” Chrysalis demanded in disgust.

“I just figured you’d know,” he replied with a shrug.

“I would never boil one of my changelings,” Chrysalis declared then added in a low tone. “Or anyone else really.”

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough then,” he exclaimed. “I personally think that one would well enough on its own, given how incredibly agonizing being boiled alive would be, but I have more.”

“More?” Chrysalis exclaimed in shock.

“Oh that's not even one-third of my plans,” explained the man. “I’ve seen what healing magic can do so I’ve planned out about two dozen of these methods and I intend on using every last one of them on you.”

“You… you can't be serious,” Chrysalis whispered.

“Dead serious I’m afraid,” he remarked. “Do you want to hear about the next one? It's particularly unpleasant, or so I’ve read.”

“You’re lying,” Chrysalis declared, sitting up a little straighter. “No creature would do such a thing to a member of its own species. Even if they are enemies.”

The man erupted with laughter, his large hand slapping the table Chrysalis was bound to with enough force to make the changeling jerk upwards in her restraint.

“Oh that's cute!” he exclaimed after a long minute of cackling. “Us humans have had multiple world wars, and committed more genocides against our own people than there have been armed conflicts in the entirety of Equestria’s history.”

“Another lie,” Chrysalis spat. “I can detect your emotions and I know you are no construct. You feel, you empathize, and I assume the rest of your race does as well.”

“You know there is a saying I heard when I was a kid. If you give a man a sword and point him at the enemy he will not attack them. Give a man, god, then point him at the enemy and he will strike with nothing more than his fists,” remarked the man.

“Gods? What are you talking about?” Chrysalis demanded.

“Equestria has had few cults, but I suppose the closest equivalent are the fields of Elysium,” explained the male.

“Yes, everyone knows of the pony afterlife,” Chrysalis remarked. “They all go there.”

“But imagine if I told you that the only way to get there is by killing bad people? Then I told you that if you didn't kill the bad people in life then you would go to a place of eternal torment?” asked the male. “Do you think the average person would murder another then?”

“I…” Chrysalis frowned. “I suppose they might. Though it seems like an obvious power grab for whoever is in charge as they presumably get to define who is bad.”

“Quite right,” the human agreed. “Though it's a gross simplification, that's a fair description of most extreme ideologies. But I’m getting sidetracked again. Onto the next torture, I have planned. The breaking wheel.”

“A wheel?” Chrysalis questioned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh it's quite simple really. If boiling you alive repeatedly doesn't work then I intend on breaking every single bone in your body one after another,” the man explained, pantomiming swinging a hammer down on each of Chrysalis’s legs. “Then I’ll get Celestia to use her magic to heal you and we’ll do it again, and again, and again.”

“You’re a monster,” Chrysalis muttered.

The human chuckled. “That's not even all I had in mind. I also had a pine box constructed which was just barely big enough to fit you. After I break all your bones, I was going to drop you in that box and then bury you for a few hours.”

He leaned in close and smirked at Chrysalis. “Then, just when you are about to asphyxiate, I’ll dig you back up, let you get a breath or two then put you right back in the hole again. How does that sound?”

“Like a fate worse than death,” Chrysalis murmured.

The human laughed aloud once more, the sound cruel, and mocking. “You say that but you haven't even heard about what I plan to do with you if all else fails.”

“W-what are you talking about?” Chrysalis murmured.

The man walked around to the other side of the changeling, who pushed hard in the opposite direction. Her eyes were wide and filled with desperation, the large orbs flicking between the human and the exit.

“Before we get to that I must tell you a story of a man called Vlad the impaler,” the man whispered in a low tone. “A minor prince in a small country trapped between two much larger regional powers, his life was rather miserable. That's not why we remember him, oh no. We remember him because of what he did to his victims.”

Chrysalis remained silent, her eyes open wide while her pupils were tiny, the changeling staring intently at the human.

“You see he had a fascination with impaling things. When imprisoned he would take small bugs and jam slivers of wood through them, then leave them to slowly die, unable to escape their fate,” he continued, the man miming the action of impaling a tiny creature. “Eventually, when he knew a much larger army was coming, one which he could not defeat, he did something drastic.”

Chrysalis gulped.

“He ambushed a small force of his enemy and managed to capture a good chunk of them. Those who surrendered were brought into custody. Those who did not, died. But they were the lucky ones,” he explained, walking slowly around the changeling. “For you see he took the knowledge gained from his youth and put it to use on people, impaling his foes on pikes arrayed on either side of the road which lead to his capital.”

Chrysalis grit her teeth and swallowed, forcing down the bile which rose in her throat.

“Now you might think that's bad, but trust me when I say the reality was much worse,” he pressed. “The process was not a quick one, as the spear was not inserted very deep. Rather it was the victim's own body weight that slowly caused the spear tip to travel deeper inside of them. Eventually, it would come out the other side after going right through most of their internal organs.”

The changeling shut her eyes tightly, her breathing growing quick.

“Do you want to know the worst part though?” whispered the man.

“N-no,” Chrysalis whispered back.

“Well I’m going to tell you anyway,” he declared with a smirk. “When this process was complete the victim is usually still alive. Sometimes it would take days for them to finally expire. Days spent watching as the sun traveled across the sky, unable to move or escape their fate as maggots spawned in their open wounds.”

The human grabbed the bound changeling by either side of her head and forced her eyes open using his fingers.

“Imagine it,” he began. “Rows and rows of your countrymen stuck up on pikes and arrayed on either side of the road. The smell of copper is heavy on the wind, and the moans of agony come from every direction. Nastier still, taking them down would kill them, yet leaving them would be far worse a fate. So you know what happened?”

Chrysalis gagged once, twice, then expelled a purplish-green substance the consistency of jello from between her lips. The human just barely managed to step back in time, avoiding the goo that splattered across the changeling’s torso and down her sides. While Chrysalis continued to cough, and desperately resist the urge to vomit a second time, the male chuckled.

“You didn't even let me get to the end of my story,” he pointed out. “Heck, that's not even the worst fate I had in store in case all others failed. Let me tell you about the blood eagle.”

“Mercy,” Chrysalis whispered, her head hung low.

“What was that?” asked the male, leaning in close. “Did you say you wanted to hear about it?”

“Mercy,” Chrysalis repeated.

The human scowled in disgust. “I’ll consider it but first you have to-”

“In the crystal caves beneath Canterlot. There's a mine not on any maps. It was dug by the blueblood family in secret in order to get around the ban. They closed it up eventually, but I broke in,” Chrysalis offered.

“If your information is good, then you shall be granted mercy,” remarked the male.

He then turned back to the door and pounded his fist against the metal. A second later and the handleless barrier swung open to reveal Luna standing just on the other side, a long spear in her hoof.

“This was the quickest to acquire, so I thought I’d deliver it to you first,” Luna explained, extending her hoof.

“No, please! I surrender! I told you all I know I swear on the first mother!” Chrysalis shrieked, jerking her body back and forth, tugging desperately at her bonds.

Luna blinked. “Is this true?”

The human nodded. “They are in an old mine shaft dug in secret by the Blueblood family. Supposedly it is on none of the normal maps.”

“Then I suppose we will have to have a talk to our quote-unquote nephew,” Luna remarked.

“Then you’ll spare me?” Chrysalis asked desperately.

“We would need to check first,” Luna replied, turning around.

“Wait!” Chrysalis shouted. “Please, please don't leave me in here with him.”

“As you wish,” Luna replied, glancing at the sole human in the room. “We can wait outside and observe our captive through a scrying spell.”

The man shrugged, turning to Chrysalis. “Fine by me. Though I must say I am disappointed. When I heard you were evil I expected a ruthless tyrant willing to go to any lengths to achieve their goals. All I see is a sniveling worm with delusions of grandeur.”

“I would gladly be a worm than a demon, like you,” spat the changeling.

“Fair enough,” he remarked.

With a tug, he pulled the door shut, leaving Chrysalis alone in the dark room.

“So…” Luna began. “Did you really intend on doing any of that?”

“Hell no,” he replied immediately, shivering in disgust and clutching his stomach. “I already felt gross just talking about all that nasty stuff.”

“Ahh good. I must admit my sister and I were… unnerved,” Luna admitted. “Celestia needed to excuse herself before you even began your tale about this Vlad person.”

“I would take that particular story with a grain of salt,” the man warned. “There is a lot of propaganda that has been passed down as fact for so long that it's hard to know what's true.”

“Still. If even half of what you say is true…” Luna muttered, shuddering in disgust.

“Yes we humans have a rather sordid past,” he replied.

“But?” Luna offered.

The man blinked. “But nothing. We evolved to be endurance hunters that tired out their prey by chasing them for hours or sometimes days. You kind of have to be a little bit messed in the head to do something like that.”

“That's… vile,” Luna murmured.

“Thankfully we have the ability to choose, and I choose to spend the rest of my days eating cake on a beach somewhere,” he replied.

“I’m amazed you don't get along better with my sister,” Luna remarked.

The human chuckled. “What can I say? When I see someone that arrogant it's hard not to want to knock them down a peg or two.”