> Lasting Memories
>  by Boopy Doopy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter One
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charley Baker was standing tall in front of Death himself, not surprised in the least that the time to leave his life behind had finally come.
“You know,” Death said casually, “most creatures are surprised or afraid when they finally have to meet me. You, however, seem like you’re ready for it to be done. Explain that to me.”
He sounded more like a surfer dude from Santa Monica than the grim reaper. He almost looked the part, too, with a dirty blonde perm, pointed nose, light skin, and a face filled with freckles. Even still, he wore a black as night scraggly hooded tunic and carried a large scythe, one larger than he was. More than that was the look in his eye, one that held disdain, almost anger, for Charley. It was a look that told him that he would end the conversation at a moment’s notice if he didn’t like what he heard. 
“What’s there to explain?” Charley asked, crossing his arms. “Life sucks and the universe hates me. Or maybe God does, since I’m talking to you. Is that what this is?”
“And why do you think that?” Death asked, not entertaining such an answer. “Do you think it’s our fault that you pushed people in your life away? That you burned bridges at every opportunity? Or perhaps it was the universe that caused you to do those things?”
“Well it’s not like you or the universe or whoever the hell makes sure the world keeps turning made it any easier,” Charley argued. “I’m sure you know what I’m going through. It’s not like it’s ever been sunshine and roses for me. I was intentionally set up to fail at everything in life. You can’t blame me for being bitter.”
“I can, and I will,” Death replied. “I’ve met one thousand, one million other creatures in your shoes, and worse, and almost all of them have shown more care to the people around them than you have. You’ve left nothing in your life to continue on your legacy, and now what? On your deathbed here today, where do you think you’ll go?”
“Oh, rich, you’re gonna send me to hell, aren’t you. And why? Because I kept to myself? Because I didn’t bother people with my problems? I guess that makes me worse than Hitler, doesn’t it?”
“You think this is about doing wrong?,” Death asked, scoffing at him. “Adolf Hitler didn't have to worry. Lord Tirek didn’t have to worry. King Shirofu and Idi Amin and Grogar and Tifla Tifla and nearly other major villain in the history of your world and others, both great and small– almost none of them had to worry about where death would take them. Saint Peter to Satan, we don’t care. All creatures to us are the same.”
“What? Then why ask–”
“Because you have not one person in your life who cares for you. Not one person who likes you. I struggle to find one person who’s willing to tolerate you. Not your parents, not your teachers, not even the nurses who took care of you near the end. No one wants to be around you or enjoys your presence.”
“I had a wife! A kid! What about them? They liked me!”
“What of them? Do you think they’re planning to go to your funeral? That you have to use like in past tense answers to you what they think of you now. They’re happier without you because you continuously push people away. To you, creatures are no different cattle. Only a way to meet one's ends, nothing more. It’s not how a soul is meant to live, and yet yours has just been suffocated in darkness and rejection and loneliness. There’s hardly a person in front of me at all.”
The frustration and anger on Charley’s face slowly changed to worry and fear at what he heard. That couldn’t have been true, could it? He tried to think and see who he could say he was friends with, and came up empty. Even the list of people who talked to him was extremely short, less than ten names he could think of. None of them did when they didn’t have to, making sure to communicate the bare minimum amount with him possible. He knew this, but it never really hit him until he was standing in front of Death how bad off he was.
“You can’t– you can’t say it’s all my fault I am who I am!” he argued. “You– if you’re Death, you probably know about me and how I feel,” he said, feeling a bit embarrassed. “You can’t not know how hard it’s been. It’s always been hard, and it never stops! I mean, look at me! Just looking like this in front of you, I know you know how I feel. You’re just trying to tease me and show me what I never had!”
“Oh? It’s how you felt that made you push people away?”
“Yeah, it is how I felt. It’s how I feel, and working a dead end job, and having a kid too young, and not graduating, and awful parents, and– and… and getting fucking cancer before I’m even thirty five! How is all of that supposed to be fair?” He was screaming at the top of his lungs at Death by the time he was finished, looking him right in the eye, expecting a good reason.
“It’s not fair,” Death told him. “It never is. It’s all luck of the draw whether you’re born to riches or rags, born with mental problems or dysphoria or disabilities or good people who take care of you. But that’s the tradeoff you made for existence.”
“Then how can you get mad at me for–”
“Because it’s not fair. It’s not fair for the child cast aside by those who should protect him before he’s ready to face the world. Not for the widow who has to live alone when her children die in front of her. Not for those who have to live a life of hunger and regret and sadness, for those who know nothing but war and suffering and abuse and torture and are killed before they’ve had a chance to live. You may have struggles, more than a few, but every creature has struggles. But almost every other creature, whether a saint or a demon, has others who care for them, whereas you do not.”
Charley didn’t have a good response to what he heard, and it made him afraid. He tried again to think of one person in his life who cared about him, or at least he could say he cared about, but came up empty.
“Not one?” he asked, his voice quieter now.
“Not a one,” Death confirmed, pointing his scythe toward him. “It’s an issue, one with a solution I don’t think you’ll be terribly fond of.”
“What… what’s that?”
“Cutting you down right here where you stand and letting your existence end,” he said flatly. “There’s no way you’re getting through to the other side, not with the state your soul is in.” The tip of the scythe’s blade touched the center of Charley’s chest.
“Please don’t do this,” he whispered, trying to take a step back, unable to as his feet stayed frozen in place. “There has to be one person who cares about me.”
“Believe me, I looked,” Death replied. “I scoured for ages trying to find somebody. How do you think you lasted so long in that hospital ward? I had to fight with them to let me have a chance to look for myself, tried to ask them to give you an extension so you could find somebody. You're not a monster disguised as a person, that much is easy to see. You should be worthy of something, but…” Death shrugged, continuing, "Unfortunately, this is just how it goes sometimes." With the words, he reached his scythe up over his head, ready to slice through Charley.
“You can’t do this!” he shouted angrily, fearfully, shaking where he stood. “This isn’t fair!”
“Like I said, it’s never fair. It’s not fair that I have to be the one who manages all of this, but here I am. Neither of us really gets a say in these things.”
“Please!” he begged, holding his hands up in a pitiful attempt to shield himself from what would come. “There has to be something else you can do! Don’t let me end like this!”
“I want you to know, this is going to hurt me much more than it’ll hurt you. I hope you can forgive me for this.” With the words, Death swung his scythe down at him.
“Just give me a chance! I can make a friend if you give me a chance!”
Charley closed his eyes, bracing for the impact of the scythe against his skull, but the impact never came. A second later, he opened them again, seeing Death watching him curiously, scythe in both hands, the blade tip a centimeter away from his head.
“You think you can make one friend?” Death asked seriously, unmoving as he sent a powerful look his way.
“Yes! I can!” Charley assured him, nodding up and down. “I just need a chance to! I can make a friend!”
Death lowered his hands to his sides and sighed. “Well, I said before there’s hardly a person in front of me, but there’s still something there,” he spoke. “A little shimmer. Maybe we can…” Suddenly, he turned and walked away, heading quickly off to somewhere else. Charley didn’t know whether he should stay where he was or head after him, but a second later, he caught a faint wave of a hand, urging him forward.
“Follow me,” Death instructed.
Charley made his way after him, traveling through what, he didn’t know. A large expanse of nothingness he wanted to say, but it wasn’t quite that. There were faint, colorful clouds hanging in the air, ranging from bright green to deep purple to magnificent red to royal blue. It stretched out as far as the eye could see, seemingly unending in front of him. They all floated above him, moving in a uniform pattern, being lit by what, he didn’t know.
“Right here,” Death said as they made their way to a door, behind it holding a thousand other doors to… somewhere. He imagined that old Disney movie, Monsters Inc, where each door led to some random kids bedroom. Except he bet these all led to other worlds just from the looks of them. How he knew that, he didn’t know. It was just a feeling he had.
“Now where is it…” Death asked himself, putting a hand on his chin before starting forward. Charley followed behind him, walking for how long, he couldn’t say. It could’ve been minutes or weeks, but it didn’t make a difference. Time didn’t feel the same here, somehow.
Death stopped abruptly in front of a door that looked like a thousand other doors they passed. No markings distinguished it from any others, and Charley wasn’t sure how he could tell the difference between this and the dozen other doors that surrounded it.
“I’m not normally authorized to do this, but since you haven't turned out to be a serial killer or child abuser, I’ll consider your case special,” Death explained. “Through this door is a place that will give you a second chance at friendship. In fact, in my experience, it’s the easiest place to find friendship. I’ve never met one creature from this world who lacked creatures who cared for them. If you can’t find someone who cares about you here, you’ll find it nowhere else.
“I’ll give you one week to make one friend. If you can’t find a friend in that time, then your soul is truly lost. I hope it's not, but suspect it already is.”
“A week isn’t enough time to–”
“A week is more than generous,” Death interrupted. “Any creature else going to Equestria would be able to pick up a friend in a minute. Be grateful I’m giving you this much time to prove yourself. I’m not sure how many others would’ve humored you.”
“Where am I going? What the heck is Equestria?” Charley asked as the door opened. He could see through it, but not much. Only darkness and a few points of light slipping through.
“You’ll find out in a second,” Death replied. “Consider this your last chance at forever. Make sure to spread your wings wide open, and soar.” With the words, he gave Charley a firm shove through the door.
> Chapter Two
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charley was falling through the air impossibly fast. The wind burned his eyes, keeping them squinted, not that he could see much. It was dark, night it seemed, and the sky was lit only by the moon and the stars near it. 
The sound of rushing air filled his ears, things that felt like they were now on top of his head. He could see a snout for a nose in front of him, but what color, he couldn’t tell. He could also feel the wind against it and rippling through his fur, blasting him with cold. Looking down, he thought he could make out stumps for limbs. Hooves? He couldn’t tell. He was falling too fast to open his eyes much.
Make sure to spread your wings wide open, and soar, he remembered death saying. Almost by instinct, he moved the appendages on his side, attached to his back, letting them spread wide open. Just like that, he stopped falling, now more gliding, moving forward as he fell. He glanced to his sides and could see feathers attached to wings, ones that moved as his command. He had both wings like a bird and hooves like a horse. What in the world was he?
He did his best to glide through the night, but wasn’t very good at it. Not that he knew where he was going. He could see buildings below him, little houses that looked like they had roofs of straw and something like plaster for walls. It was like a town that was a cross between the fifteen hundreds and twentieth century, except more colorful. Interesting, to say the least.
It was only a minute before the ground got closer to him and he tried to focus on landing. Not that he knew how. Instead of landing gracefully, he rolled and somersaulted, falling on his back and getting dirt on his face and in his hair. It wasn’t the best he could’ve done, but it could’ve been worse.
He got up and shook himself off, taking a minute to examine himself. He noticed he was standing on four legs, which ended in hooves. He also did indeed have wings at his side, long and wide and covered in feathers, like a bird. There were also a few feathers on his chest, but he had a pointed snout like a regular horse. He was somehow a cross between the two, like that Greek horse, Pegasus.
He looked under himself to check for something, and cursed when he saw it. “Oh yeah, just make a friend in a week when you’re gonna keep me like this!” he yelled to no one, his voice sounding exactly the same as it always did. “How am I supposed to make friends when I’m stuck being a man?” He had who he wanted to be in whatever that place was. Why couldn’t that have just translated to where he was now?
“This is bullshit!” he yelled. “I’m being set up to fail again!”
“Hey, can you keep it down out there?” someone, another horse it seemed, yelled from a window in their home. “Ponies are trying to sleep!”
He noticed the colors on the creature, a bright red coat with a shimmering blue mane, along with a horn like a unicorn. It was a strange sight, but examining himself again, he noticed he was just as strangely colored. A grayish-blue coat with an orangish-gold mane, and a picture of a frying basket on his butt. He didn’t know what it all meant, but it was certainly curious.
The whole world was brightly colored, like a children’s show, except more realistic looking than that. Even at night, he could see the houses perfectly clear, and the grass and the trees and the moon’s reflection off the water of a pond next to him. It looked serene. Picturesque. It just looked like a friendly place to be. He could see why Death chose… wherever he was.
Make a friend in a week, Charley thought to himself. That's what Death said. He said this would take less than a minute.
He had no idea what he should be doing or how to go about making friends. He wasn’t normally one to opt to make friends with people, but that made sense, considering he was here. He had no idea where to start.
He decided to just walk around, having not the slightest idea where on earth he was going. He hoped he’d eventually just bump into someone and they’d start a conversation and this whole thing would be over and done with. If this was the easiest place ever to make friends, this should only take about an hour.
It was about an hour when the sun rose impossibly fast and the local residents came out. All of them were equines, and all of them had widely varying looks. Some of them were uniformly colored, like one who had a green coat, green hair and tail, and green eyes. Others were the weirdest color combinations you could imagine, like someone he saw with an orange coat, purple hair, and dark blue eyes. There were tall ones and short ones, horses that were clearly kids and some that were definitely older and likely near their own meetings with Death. They came in varieties that consisted of feathery wings like his, unicorn horns, or neither. Almost all of them had a smile on their face, and seemed to be on their way to school or work or whatever horses like this did all day.
It was something straight out a show for little girls, that Charley knew.
All I have to do is find the dumbest looking one and make friends with them, he thought to himself as he looked around. This is gonna be a piece of cake. Now who would that be…?
He had to admit, they all looked kind of dopey, what with such big eyes. They were large and round and flat, more like plates than balls. Their mouths were a bit small for their faces, too, and their bodies a bit too perfectly proportioned. And overly friendly. That was the biggest part. They all looked way too overly friendly, like an annoyingly helpful neighbor out of a sitcom. He might have been searching for a friend, and one he could make quick, but overly friendly was a turnoff for him. Still, with a little bit of looking, he found his first target.
“Heyyy…” he started as he stepped forward, moving up to a particularly idiotic looking horse. It was a female with a silverish-gray coat and blonde hair, as well as a few bubbles on her butt, in the same place he had his frying basket. She had wings like he did, and a brown uniform on that came with a bag of letters, like a mailman. Or a mail horse. One of her eyes was lazy, however, he couldn't tell which one, and she had a particularly dumb grin on her face as he made his way to her. She would do, he was sure.
“I…” he stared as she looked at him, before fumbling for words. He had absolutely no idea what he should tell her, no idea how to start a conversation, really. He knew he shouldn’t lead in with the fact that he needed her to be his friend, lest his soul be taken. That might push people away.
This is ridiculous, he thought to himself. How do people do this?
“So uh… can I buy you a drink?” he asked, cringing slightly to himself. It was such a lame way to start a conversation, more like trying to get a date than a friend, but hey. It wasn’t like this would last forever. He only had a week to do this, and the sooner he got it done, the sooner he could leave.
“Awww, no, I can’t stop delivering this mail right now, mister,” she told Charley, her voice sounding just as derpy as she looked. “It’s an important job. I can’t be late… say though. What’s your name? Maybe I can give you your letter right now!”
His inclination was to just turn around and leave, but he forced himself not to. “It’s Charley, but I doubt there’s anything in there for me. But what if you stopped delivering letters? Just for a little while? I wanna talk to you.”
“About what?” the horse asked, tilting her head in confusion. The way it asked what about got under his skin for some reason. He already didn’t like this person.
“Well, about, uh… what do you want to talk about?” he asked. Yeah, just keep the conversation in her court. That was how making friends worked, right? Getting people to talk about themselves? She didn’t look bright enough to not be able to be easily manipulated into becoming his friend either way. This would be all over soon.
Only a way to meet one’s ends, nothing more, Death’s voice played in his head. That was what he was doing to whoever this horse was now. Using them as a way to make his ends meet. Of course, since he was required to make friends, how could Death expect any different? Besides, the future of forever for him was at stake. He was going to be manipulative if he had to.
“Oh, I have lots of things I like to talk about, like weather and muffins and time travel and being a mail pony…”
“What’s being a mail pony like?” he asked, trying to sound eager and excited about it when he really couldn’t care less. “That sounds like such an interesting job!”
“Oh, it is! The best job anypony could have! I bet everypony in Equestria wants it! But I really shouldn’t stop to talk. I gotta get these letters delivered.” With that, she lifted her wings and started to fly into the sky.
“Now wait,” he tried to say, grabbing onto a wing with one of his hooves. He didn’t know how though. There was no way a hoof should’ve been able to grab anything. But he didn’t question it, too busy trying to stop her from leaving.
“Don’t you want to be my friend?” he asked. “I mean, I’d sure like to hear a lot about how you do your job. How does someone get into being a mailman anyway?”
“Well I can show you that!” she said happily. “I can teach you all about being a mailpony! Just follow me!” She once again tried to fly away, but Charley kept firm hold of her.
“Wait a second though,” he said, staring up into her lazy looking eyes. “I kind of really need to make a friend, and you seem… friendly enough…” He almost said she was easy enough, but caught himself before he could let that slip out.
“Um, sir? Can you let go of me? You’re hurting my wing.”
What the hell is wrong with me? he asked himself. Stop being a creep and let her go. He might not have had many friends, or any according to Death, but he was certain that this wasn’t the way they were made. This was how people got restraining orders filed against them.
“Sorry,” he apologized, letting go of her. “I’m just, uh, eager. Also, I don’t think I can fly.” He flapped his wings a few times for emphasis.
“You can’t fly?” she asked curiously, tilting her head, both of her eyes focusing on him for the first time. “But every pegasus can fly! Maybe you just aren’t trying hard enough!”
Well, that got her attention, although he wasn’t really sure why. He figured there was at least one person with wings who couldn’t fly, but he shrugged it off. It was a detail that grabbed her attention regardless, and one that he would use to get closer to her.
“I haven’t tried at all since I just got here,” he said. “But maybe you can show me how? I mean, after all, you do look like an expert!” He was trying to sweet talk her into spending time with him. He just wanted to get this over and done with.
“Oh, I’m no expert,” she said, “but I’d sure love to help! Let me deliver these letters, and I’ll get right back to you, lickiety split!”
“Wait, no, don’t go!” he said, trying to grab her wing again, but missing. She quickly flew away from him, leaving Charley standing alone, a giant scowl on his face. His first attempt at making a friend was a miss. 
Doesn’t matter, he told himself.  There are a hundred other horses here. Any one of these people will be easy to get to be my friend.
It wasn’t as easy as all that, it turned out. Most ponies at this time of day were busy, and the ones that weren’t could see his scowl as he approached them. If not, they could hear the insincerity in his voice much more easily than he expected. Making a friend was turning out to be a tougher task than he expected.
Death said this would be a piece of cake, he thought as he tried to talk to a pink horse inside of a bakery shaped like a gingerbread house. He said it would take a minute. Much more than a minute had passed, and yet here he still was, sitting grumpily while some girl with ADHD was talking his ears off.
I have a week though. I can find a friend in a week. Hell, I can find a friend by the end of the day. This is gonna be easy.
He thought he was onto something with the pink horse in the bakery when she offered him a free meal since she’d never seen him before. When she started talking though, he knew he was going to hate this girl. He could hardly get a word in with her, the pony running her mouth nonstop about some party she wanted to throw for him.
“And then we can play pin the tail on the pony and freeze tag, and then eat cupcakes covered in hot sauce–”
“Wow, those things just sound so neat,” he said, rolling his eyes and trying to portray how sarcastic he was. The mare didn’t seem to pick up on it though, which Charley guessed was a good thing. He’d probably have to tone down his extreme annoyance if he wanted this to go anywhere though.
“I know, right? And you’re gonna make so many friends there! That’s what you said you wanted, and if my name isn’t Pinkie Pie, I’ll be sure you make a hundred new friends! I’m friends with everypony in Ponyville, and can give you all the juicy details on all of them!”
“I’m so excited,” he replied flatly. “But listen,” he continued, trying to work a word in. “I’m really only interested in making one friend. So, uh, you don’t need to throw a party for me.”
“But I always throw a party for all the new ponies that move to Ponyville! And you’re a new pony, so that means you gotta have a party! All of my friends have to have one!”
There it was, the magic word. If a party would get this over and done with, he would go to a party. He was so itching to get back to wherever Death was so he could regain the form he had there. Being this horse was not appealing.
“So you’re saying if you throw me a party, that means we’re friends?” he asked. “Is that how this works?”
“Yepperooni!” she nodded quickly. “I’d never throw a party for somepony who wasn’t my friend. I mean, a party for a big, smelly villain like King Sombra? PU! But you’re not a big, smelly villain like him, so I think we can be friends!”
“Do you think we could throw the party now then?” he asked, almost sounding eager. “I’m just so excited for us to be friends. I mean, you’re just so interesting to talk to.” He was laying it on a bit thick, but he was sure Pinkie Pie wouldn’t notice. She seemed more idiotic than that gray mare.
“Hehe! I’d love to! But these things don’t just sprout up out of nowhere, you know! There’s so much planning to do, and so many ponies to talk to! Plus, it’s gonna be a surprise party, and you won’t be very surprised if you know it’s happening, silly!”
Of course, they couldn’t get it done right now. That would just be too convenient, wouldn’t it? He was going to have to be here the whole week trying to work up to being this pony’s friend.
“God, this is gonna be a fucking waste of time,” he muttered to himself before stepping out of the bakery. He wasn’t alone though. The mare hopped next to him like a rabbit, smiling at him with a gigantic, irritating grin.
“Aw, cheer up!” Pinkie Pie told him happily. “Sure, you can’t have a party right now, but that’ll make it twice as good when you have it tomorrow! Won’t that be amazing?”
“I’m quite alright,” he said. “I’ll just look for friends somewhere else.”
“Okie dokie loki! I’m sure you’ll find a whole bunch of ponies, and before you know it, you’ll be at the party and then you’ll already be friends with everypony in town and be partying your tail off!”
“Yeah. Sure. But uh, maybe you should stop following me and get on that.”
“Oopsie, hehe! Oh yeah! I gotta get started on planning that party!” With the words, she quickly sped away in a moment, leaving Charley blinking at the dust trail she left behind.
“Ugh. Yikes. I hope I don’t have to deal with her for the rest of the day.” Somehow, she seemed like the type that would sneak up on him. He’d fall asleep and then he’d wake up to her hovering over his bed or something, like a crazy girlfriend. He laughed a little bit at the thought of it.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter,” he continued to himself as he walked in an aimless direction. “Make a friend today, get out of here today. Then Death lets me go… somewhere and… I don’t know what after that.” He just wanted to look and sound like he did in front of Death again. He had no time at all to appreciate it before he was stuck back into a man’s body when he got here.
Charley put that thought out of his head as he walked, looking for someone else he could try to get to be his friend. He came up quite empty however, just as empty as before, at least until that gray mare suddenly came back, bumping into him and knocking him on his flank.
“Oops, sorry! I didn’t mean to do that! I’m just klutzy,” she apologized, extending a hoof to pick him up. “But I came back, just like I said!” She beamed happily at him, seeming proud of herself. Charley couldn’t say whether he really liked this mare, but at least he could talk to her without hearing a million words a minute back.
“Yes you did,” he said, clearly annoyed as he brushed himself off. “Although next time, I’d appreciate not getting dirt all over me, thanks.”
“Sorry. Uh, I can teach you how to fly now!” she exclaimed. “All done with my mail for today! I did double time so I could get here! Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he said flatly. He truly didn’t care either way whether or not he could fly. He just wanted to get a friend and have this be over and done with.
He had a feeling that this would be a ridiculous experience coming from a mare whose eyes were as lazy as hers, and ridiculous it was. Not only did she not fly particularly straight, she was awful at explaining what to do. Plus, she crashed into him when she stopped to land again. More than once.
“You just have to tell yourself that you can do it!” she cheered from the air, a phrase that made Charley scowl.
“If all I have to do is tell myself I can do it, then what the hell do I have wings for?” he asked back angrily. “This is so stupid!”
“Just try flapping them and closing your eyes!” she suggested. “That’s what I did when I was first learning how to fly! Everypony can do it!”
“I’ve done that like seven times and nothing’s happened yet! It’s not gonna change with the eighth!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll come down and show you again!” she said, making him roll his eyes. A second later, she was speeding down and crashing into him again. He was gonna be covered in bruises by the end of the day at this rate.
“Oops, sorry,” she apologized sheepishly, rubbing a hoof behind her head. “Didn’t mean to do that again.”
“Look, if you can’t see correctly, then stop fucking racing to the ground as fast as you can,” he barked. “That’s the fourth time you’ve hit me.”
“Sorry,” she said again quietly. “I’m just trying to help.”
He sighed to himself. Don’t drive her away, he told himself silently. Can’t drive her away. Make one friend and get this over with.
“Why don’t we do something else?” he asked, trying not to sound too irritated. “Like being a mail pony. What’s that all about?”
“Uh, well, it’s really a long story,” she said, rubbing a hoof behind the other. “I really should go, though. I have to get home soon.”
“Aw, come on, I’m sure you’re such a great mail pony! How do I become one?” he asked, trying to grasp any straw that would make her stay.
“I have to go. No offense, but you’re kind of scary,” she said, taking a step back away from him.
“How on earth am I scary?” he asked aggressively, taking a step forward and scowling. A second later, he covered his eyes with a hoof, realizing in exactly what way he was scary.
“I’ll stop yelling,” he said quickly after rubbing his nose for a second. “I’ll stop cursing, too. I’m just reaaaally looking to be friends with someone.” Charley tried his best to put on a wide, toothy grin once he finished. He hoped it didn’t sound as creepy to this mare as it did to him.
“That’s alright,” she said politely, looking uncomfortable. “But, uh, I’m sure lots of ponies want to be your friend! You could even have Pinkie Pie throw you a ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ party! Everypony goes to those! You’re bound to make friends there!”
“Whatever,” he replied, his smile dropping immediately as he hung is head low, deep in the scowl he’d had on all day.
“Uh, I can come by tomorrow and try to help you with your flying some more, if you want me to!”
“It’s fine,” he tried to say as politely as he could. “You don’t need to look for me. I’ll be out of here before then because I’ll find a friend before then.”
“Uh, okay, I don’t know what that means, but… I’ll see you later, Mr. Charley!” She waved at him happily as he walked away, on his way to see who else he could try and manipulate.
Manipulate. How he came up with that word to describe making friends, he had no idea. It was a sad indictment of himself that he used that word. He had to manipulate people into being his friend because no one would want to be his friend naturally. How pathetic was that?
Just take a breath and calm down, he told himself. Relax. You’re being way too aggressive going at this. All you have to do is find someone who’s not busy and engage them. Let them talk about themselves. Don’t yell when they smack into you eight times in a row. Then you’ll be out of here.
Easy. This was going to be easy. He just needed to take time and he could get this done. It would be a piece of cake.
“Charley! Charley! Charley!” a familiar, hyper, energetic voice sounded, drawing closer to him, not even giving him enough time to lift his scowl. Keeping himself from yelling and grumbling in annoyance was gonna be easier said than done. He did not like her upbeat attitude.
Smile, he told himself. Smile. This mare is probably gonna be your best hope at getting a friend as soon as possible with the way these ponies are.
“Oh, Pinkie,” he said, his smile not very wide and his voice not sounding particularly happy. “Who would’ve guessed I’d run into you again?”
“I know, right?” she chattered eagerly. “This is so exciting! How many friends have you made? Huh? Is it over ten? Oh, I bet it’s a hundred! Somepony as friendly as you probably already swooned over the entire town with your personality! You’re just such a charmer!”
Was… was she being sarcastic? The look on her face made it seem like it was a genuine statement, but he couldn’t be sure.
“Not quite,” Charley replied, his ears flattening a bit in embarrassment. It wasn’t nearly as easy as Death made it out to be.
“Awww, but I was sure you could’ve made at least one. Hey, if you just got to Ponyville, where are you gonna stay?” Suddenly, she gasped as an idea came to her. “I know! I know! You could stay with me! And then I can teach you all about making friends, and before you know it, you’ll be friends with everypony in Equestria! Doesn’t that sounds like fun?”
The words ‘I’ll find someone to take me in’ were on the edge of his tongue when he stopped. With the way this was going, he wasn’t sure he would be able to find someone. The thought made his frown drop back into the scowling look he’d been wearing all day.
“Oh, only the most fun,” he said sarcastically. “You’ll let me stay with you, right? Since we’re friends now?”
“Abso-tootly, posi-lootly!” Pinkie Pie happily cheered. “I mean, we can’t be real friends until I throw you your ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ welcome party, but you can stay with me until then! Follow me!” With that, she hopped like a rabbit to somewhere else, Charley begrudgingly following behind her.
I guess I’ll get out of here tomorrow, he thought as he followed grumpily. She’ll throw me a party, say I’m her friend, and then I’ll be gone and be able to be who I was in that place.
> Chapter Three
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie Pie, it turned out, stayed on the third floor of the gingerbread house bakery she worked at. The first floor was the bakery, the second floor was set up to be a home, one that belonged to a family of ponies called the Cakes, and the last was where she stayed. It was more of an attic type situation, with one bedroom, a bathroom, a closet, and nothing else. It looked smaller than the apartment Charley lived in before he was stuck in that hospital.
“Wow, this is… something,” he said, looking around. It might have been small, but the walls were lined with pictures of every kind of pony imaginable. Some of them smiled directly into the camera, others had their pictures taken from far away, seemingly unsuspecting. There were names and dates and other information attached to each photo, as well as a large map over the mare’s bed detailing where everypony lived. He thought it was something straight out of a serial killer documentary.
“I’m not gonna find, like, severed heads in your freezer, am I?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow. “This is more than a little creepy, I have to say.”
“Hehe, how else am I supposed to keep track of all of my friends?” she asked. “I have more than this though! You should see my party cave when you get the chance!”
“I’m sure it’s something,” he replied, making a mental note to sleep with one eye open, lest she actually be a serial killer. “Speaking of friends, though, why don’t we, uh, get to work on being friends?” he asked. “I’m just so eager to learn what to do.” He couldn’t have been less eager.
She spoke at a million miles an hour, detailing everything she could think of in an unorganized, almost incoherent jumble of words. She talked about things like proper dancing etiquette and how to properly throw a surprise party and conversation starters and good hygiene and tips for ‘looking for that kind of friend’ and a whole host of other things that flew way over Charley’s head. Just like before, she was more talking at him rather than to him, but he sat there and dealt with it. If it made friends faster, he would take it.
“Wow, that’s all so interesting!” he said, feigning wonder and joy. “I guess since you told me all of that, that means we’re friends now, right?”
“Nope, not yet, Charley! We’re only acquaintances! We need to have your ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ party first! Once we do though, I’ll be able able to say that we’re definitely, truly, perfectly, one hundred percent, absolutely, positively–”
“Okay, I get it,” he interrupted. “When is this party being held?” he asked.
“Mmm mmm mmm! That’s a secret! You’ll find out when it happens! I can’t spoil an amazing surprise like that!”
“Of course, you can’t. And there’s no way you can throw it today, can you?”
“Nope! There's not nearly enough time to plan for a shindig as good as this is gonna be! Look on the bright side though! That’s more time to build up anticipation and get excited for how great it’s gonna be!”
“Oh, of course,” he muttered, letting out a forceful sigh. “Just so great.”
So great, just like every single day of his life up to this point had been. It was so great dropping out of school when he was sixteen, being berated by parents who didn’t love him, meeting an ex wife who’d he’d have to end up paying child support to, living every day in a body he couldn’t stand, and then getting cancer to end it all off. No, not end it off, because the list continued with Death threatening to end his existence for the horrible crime of not making friends, and shoving him back into life after briefly teasing him with what he couldn’t have. And now here he was, sitting in front of a mare whose overly positive attitude he absolutely couldn’t stand, one who was probably as thick as nails.
And that was just the beginning of it. There were a whole host of other things in his past that made it impossible for him to have much joy about anything. And now he had to wait to go to a dumb party with someone who he didn’t like just so he could say he made a friend and be out of there. Yeah, it was just so great.
“Aw, don’t be like that! You just need a more positive attitude! If you want, we can–”
“I’m quite alright,” he stopped her, holding up a hoof to tell her to be quiet. “I’d rather just go to sleep for now so I can get this day over with.” Everything about this day was such a wash. It began with his chest and abdomen in absolute pain and morphine doing nothing to help it, and ended with him sitting in front of this mare, his ears in pain after being talked half to death. What kind of day was that?
“Oh, you can’t go to sleep yet! You haven’t even had dinner, silly! You gotta have dinner with the Cakes before you nod off!”
“I’m fine,” he insisted, looking around for a spot to curl up in before just settling for the floor next to the bed. “Do you have a blanket I can use?”
“Well, if you insist on shutting your eyes right now, sleepy head, you can sleep in my bed! But you’ll be missing out on some pretty delicious apple pie baked by one of my best friends!”
“I am absolutely fine,” he said, putting the annoyance in his voice so she could know to stop pressing him. “And I’m really not interested in sharing a bed with someone, thank you very much.”
“We’re not dating, silly! Besides, I already have a stallion friend named Cheese Sandwich! I just like to hug and cuddle ponies!”
And keep pictures of them all over your all with every detail imaginable, too, Charley thought to himself. And probably murder anyone who you don’t throw a party for.
“Besides, I don’t like mares in that way, silly!”
“I’m not a girl,” he responded flatly.
“Oh yeah, hehe! I guess you’re not! But you act a lot like one to me. Maybe that’s why I got confused.”
“How do I act like a girl at all?” he asked. He tried to sound exasperated, but his voice came out more embarrassed as his ears flattened against his skull.
“You only met me today. You don’t know anything about me.”
“I dunno. Maybe it’s how you walk and talk? It’s super duper weird, especially from a stallion like you. But that just makes you more interesting! Ponies that are different are the best friends to have because you can learn about so many new things! Don’t you agree?”
He was hardly listening anymore, looking down at his hooves in anger. Anger mostly at himself. Of course, the most annoying lady he’d come across in his life could pick up on something like that in a second, even as frustrated as he’d been the entire time he talked to her.
“I’m outta here,” he finally said, getting up and walking out of the room, the severe irritation on his face.
“But Charley! How are you gonna have the best chocolate chip pancakes in the whole universe if you spend the night with somepony else? Plus, I need to ask you a whole bunch of questions so I can throw the best party ever for you tomorrow and we can really, truly be friends!”
“I don’t care! Throw whatever you want! Just tell me where it’s at whenever you do.” He had to avoid saying that he didn’t want a party and that he didn’t like her. As annoying as this mare was, he didn’t want to have to find someone else to work with and try to manipulate into being his friend. He wanted this over and done with as soon as possible.
He sighed and grumbled to himself as he stepped into the late afternoon air. He was so frustrated with himself. Things he hated having touched were poked at severely during that conversation. How was a mare as attention deficit as her able to see something like that anyway? It made no sense to him, and only made him more frustrated.
It’s fine, he told himself. Tomorrow you’ll have a party and that lady will call you her friend and this will all be over with. Just have to hold out from telling her how fucking irritating she is to listen to for a day and a half. Or less.
The sun quickly descended over the horizon, bringing night to the town and sending all of the ponies outside indoors. Charley found a lonely park bench to sit at, closing his eyes and letting his mind clear of everything except the wind through the trees and the chittering of bugs around him. This day felt completely endless, years since he woke up in that hospital room for the final time, months since he was pushed through that door. He expected to have made a friend by now, and yet here he was, still a bird horse. This whole thing was just so unbelievable.
He leaned his head back against the bench and closed his eyes, but not for long. Within a few minutes, a couple of ponies, both bird horses like he was, were stopping in front of him and trying to chat him up. The first one had a blue coat like Charley, except his was light blue, almost closer to white than blue. He had a long unkempt mane and tail, also blue, except these were much darker. He also had a picture of a cloud on his butt, one that had a lightning strike coming out of it.
The second pony had a picture of a cloud on his butt with a lightning strike coming out, but besides that and wings, that was about where the similarities ended. He was a bit taller than his companion, and had a sleek, black coat on him and a mohawk cut for a mane, along with a short tail. Both were toothpaste colored, alternating between that and light blue like his companion’s coat. He had golden eyes that completed his look, as well as complimented the confident expression he held. He could almost say he was handsome. If Charley liked either men or ponies (or people in general, for that matter), he’d go so far as to say he was kind of appealing.
“Hey, guy,” the black one called, stepping up to him. “Wanna have a drink with us?”
“I don’t roll like that,” Charley said, closing his eyes again. “Go find someone else to pick up.”
“Huh? I don’t– oh, no, we’re not gay,” he explained. “We just thought it was weird that you were sitting out here all alone in the middle of Ponyville. Most pegasi don’t spend their nights down here.”
“Especially not with the first Wonderbolts show of the season in a couple of days. Every pegasus in Cloudsdale is partying and gearing up for it.” He smiled, adding, “Actually, Thunderlane here and I are gonna be in it.”
“Well isn’t that swell,” Charley replied dismissively, sure the two of them were trying to pick him up. “But maybe some of us won’t be around to see it whenever it happens, and just want to be left alone.”
The black one, Thunderlane, shrugged, saying, “Whatever, man. We’re just trying to be nice. Just figured it was cold out here is all.” He turned to his friend and said, “Let’s go, Soarin’. I wanna get there before we waste too much time.”
The two of them left shortly after that, leaving Charley alone, just like he asked. He closed his eyes again and let out a breath. This whole world was so strange. He was a horse with wings in a world with a bunch of other horses like him, and a pink horse with ADHD was planning to throw him a party, and two random bird horses tried to pick him up to go out drinking, even though they didn’t know who he was. Nothing like this ever happened on Earth.
Need to make one friend, he thought as he laid on his back to get some shut eye. All I need to do is go to a party tomorrow, and then Pinkie Pie will be my friend, and then I can leave. He would leave to whatever place Death was in and stop being this ugly stallion. That was the plan.
He didn’t know how long he slept, but he woke up right as the sun was coming up. He blinked and turned away from the light, somehow not feeling particularly grimey despite having not bathed in the last day. He did feel groggy and cold, and his back hurt from sleeping on the bench all night. Maybe it would’ve been better to sleep in that pink pony’s bed.
Speaking of her, there was Pinkie Pie, hopping like a rabbit down the street. He wanted to avoid interacting with her so early in the day, and luckily, she kept her eyes firmly fixated forward. He didn’t need more of her than he would already have to deal with today.
He yawned and stretched as he got up, only able to crack a few joints before he was face planting into the dirt as he was slammed from behind by somepony. He had a feeling he knew who it was.
“If it’s who I think it is,” he said seriously, not turning around yet, “then you better have a good reason for slamming into me for the fifth time in the last twenty four hours when I told you to stop racing around like that.”
“Sorry,” the gray mare apologized quietly as he turned around. Charley’s eye twitched at the sight of her a bit, but before he could yell, she pulled out something from her bag with her teeth.
“Letter for you!” she beamed, somehow able to speak with it in her maw. “It’s from Pinkie Pie.”
He tempered his frustrations as he took it, ripping the thing open. Inside was a card– an invitation, it seemed. It was one that explained he was being invited to a party at six in the evening at Sugarcube Corner so he could “experience the true Ponyville experience”. There were also balloons and hearts drawn into the card, as well as smiley faces, one that made it seem like her idea of a ‘party’ was something intended for small children.
“Pinkie Pie’s parties are the best!” the pegasus exclaimed, looking over Charley’s shoulder. “Oooo, I hope I get an invitation! I like to dance my tail off with Doctor Whooves! I wonder what the party is for?”
“Apparently it’s my ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ party,” he said sarcastically. “Except she’s been saying this whole time how it needs to be a surprise, and yet she just gives me the time and place.”
“Pinkie Pie is weird like that. Oh, hey! I can teach you how to fly some more this afternoon if you want me to.”
“That’s fine,” he said quickly, about to turn away and brush her off. “Actually,” he started, stopping himself, “if you’re trying to teach me to fly, would that make us friends?” Might as well see if he could get this over and done with right now.
“Hmmm, I dunno. Maybe. I’d love to be friends with you!” she said happily, smiling for a second before her expression changed to worry again. “But, um, you’re still very scary.”
“Of course I am,” he grumbled to himself. “But look. Can you just teach me how to fly really quick so we can be friends?” he asked. “And the right way, please? I don’t wanna waste another afternoon with crap if it’s not gonna work.”
“I can only try my best,” she said in her ridiculously stupid sounding voice. “But I gotta deliver these letters first! I’ll see you in a bit!”
“Can you just help me with this first?” he asked, grabbing her wing like he did yesterday. “If you know what you’re doing we can get this done in ten minutes and then we’ll be official friends or something.”
“I really can’t, Mr. Charley. I wanna be able to go to that party later, so I have to get done now. But I can stop by this afternoon again if you want.”
“Never mind, this is a waste of time,” he grumbled. “Don’t stop by later. I’ll find someone else, and I don’t need you crashing into me anyway.”
It was more walking around town from there, much like he did yesterday. He talked to a couple of other ponies, one who had a shops that sold quills and sofas and one who planted flowers, but neither wanted to entertain him in conversation for very long. The former was mostly trying to get him to buy a sofa (what the hell was he going to do with that?) and the latter, despite offering him a lunch of flowers, practically shook in fear because of him. He wasn’t that scary, was he? He was only trying to be pragmatic in looking for a friend.
It was around three in the afternoon when he went into Ponyville Theater and was surprised by about three hundred ponies screaming at him.
“Surprise, Charley!” they all shouted at the same time, the lights flicking on. He about jumped out of his skin, he was so surprised by it all.
“See? This is so much better as a surprise, isn’t it?” Pinkie Pie spoke up as she trotted over to him. 
“How the hell did you know I was gonna be here though? I came here on a whim!”
“Well, my tail twitched twice, but my left ear only twitched one, and my whole body shivered as my back left hoof started to–”
“Okay, never mind, I don’t care,” he said, wanting to avoid hearing a random spiel of hers. “I’m here at the party, and you threw it for me, so that means we’re friends now, right?” He looked her in the eye, expecting a yes so he could get out of here.
“Not yet! Sure, I threw a party for you, but you gotta actually party, silly filly! Oopsie, I mean, silly colt! Hehe!”
He grumbled and frowned like he always seemed to be doing, both at her poking raw nerves and at the fact that he’d have to stay here for the whole party. Because of course he would. How long was this thing going to last?
He stood alone in a corner by himself for a while until Pinkie Pie moved back up to him and dragged him out to play ‘Pin The Tail On The Pony’. He sighed, wanting to do anything else, but forced himself to put up with it simply for the sake of getting this done.
He was being blindfolded and spun around before being released to do his best to pin the tail on with his mouth. He didn’t do particularly well, bumping into several ponies before falling to the ground on his stomach. 
“This is so ridiculous,” he muttered as he slid the blindfold off. “I hate this so much.” This was a party for little kids. Fruit punch? Cupcakes? Dumb party games like this? He wasn’t a ten year old, and even then, he would find this ridiculous if he was. All of these ponies were adults as far as he could tell. This could’ve at least been enjoyable somewhat.
“Aw, let’s just play another game! Like freeze tag!” She tapped her hoof to his shoulder, declaring, “Tag! You’re frozen until somepony unfreezes you!”
He could not stand her upbeat attitude, and was a second away from telling her so. He bit his tongue though. Just had to get through this party. He didn’t know what he would do if this was all over and she continued to say they weren’t friends yet.
He didn’t make an effort to reach out to other ponies to be unfrozen, or much of an effort in any of the other dumb games they played, either. He was mostly a silent participant, just scowling the whole time as he put in the minimum amount of effort possible.
Eventually, thankfully, the guests started to clear out one by one. It was a slow process, something that happened over the course of a couple of hours, but at the end of it, it was just Pinkie Pie, the mail mare, and a couple of other ponies standing in the theater. The party was officially done, much to his relief.
“Wasn’t that the most fun ever, Charley?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly. “I mean, you didn’t seem to make many friends, but you met everypony, which means you can be acquaintances and have a way to start a conversation! And then you’ll be everypony’s friend before you know it! Isn’t that great?”
“Wonderful,” he replied flatly. “But since this party’s done, does that mean we’re friends now?”
“Hmmm, I would say yes, but maybe we should–”
“No, don’t say that,” he said aggressively, moving closer to her. “I don’t want to hear that. You said we would be friends after this party, so tell me that we’re friends.”
“You didn’t really talk to me. You mostly just stood alone and grumbled to yourself like an angry mare, and didn’t try to have any fun, and that doesn’t seem very friendly to me. I mean, it was supposed to be a party. You have to shake your tail feathers and talk to ponies! But all you did was scowl angrily, like this.” She gave a demonstration of how he looked, one that made his eye twitch.
Keep your cool, he told himself. Don’t curse her out. Even if you really want to cause she keeps fucking poking at raw nerves.
“Okay, but you said we would be friends,” he tried to argue, taking a breath to stop himself when he realized how aggressive he was coming off. “I mean, maybe being my friend would help speed the process along?” he said, doing his best to put on a smile. “Being friends should help me warm up… or something.”
“Mmmm, maybe we should get to know each other better first! I mean after all, it’ll be after the party either way, because the party’s over. And all my friends know each other! I don’t even know anything about you, silly filly! I mean, silly colt!”
He wanted to yell right then, but somehow kept control of himself. She was poking and prodding at things he hated having touched, so much so that he had to wonder if she was doing it on purpose. 
“I don’t want to go around in circles with this, having you say that I also need to do ABC and then XYZ and then whatever else before you say it. Just tell me we’re friends now, and I’ll do whatever the hell you want me to do. But you have to say it first.” He so just wanted to get out of here and be the lady he was in front of death again.
“Well, I can’t be friends with ponies with an attitude like yours, silly!” she giggled, making Charley clench his jaw. “You need to lighten up and turn that frown upside down! We did just have a party after all, and with a party like that, I can't see how you can still have–”
“I have an attitude because you’re being fucking annoying!” he suddenly snapped, unable to contain his frustration anymore. “Just say we’re friends so I can be done with this, god damnit!”
“Wow, rude much?” Pinkie Pie crossed her hooves and frowned now, too. “I was just trying to give a hint that maybe all that scowling and grumbling to yourself and being sarcastic like I’m just a big dummy is mean.”
“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking annoying I wouldn’t have to be so sarcastic! You and that other mare have been nothing but irritating, giving me a headache with how much you talk, and poking at shit I don’t want you to poke at! And you–” He turned to the gray mare and pointed a hoof at her, continuing, “You’ve given me a body ache because you’ve done nothing but slam into me the last two days! If you can’t see, then stop fucking flying!”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Charley. I didn’t mean to, honest.” She looked like she was going to cry hearing what he said.
“Don’t be sorry, and don’t give me those puppy dog eyes! Just don’t fucking do it!”
“Well, jeez, Mr. Angry Pants,” Pinkie Pie started. “If you have a problem with us, just tell us instead of being so angry and mean. We can’t be friends if you think we’re annoying, and I can't change anything if you don't tell me I'm bothering you. I didn’t even mean to make you so frustrated.”
"I shouldn’t have to tell you not to– god!”
He didn’t stay to hear any more of what they had to say, stomping out of the theater in an angry huff. A whole bunch of party guests who had left were still standing in the main lobby of the theater, whispering amongst themselves and watching him carefully as he stomped out. They probably listened to the whole thing, how he yelled at those two like that. He didn’t care though. He was way too upset. 
He was too upset to care that he probably screwed up his one chance and friendship and ended his chance at forever.
> Chapter Four
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charley lay angrily down on the bench he was at that morning, the sun fully set over the horizon. He watched the moon and the stars in the sky, wondering what the heck he was going to do. He should’ve known better than to act like that. Almost forty eight hours into this journey, he was no closer to making a friend than he was when he got here. Maybe he was even farther away now. Pinkie Pie and that mail mare were sure to talk about what happened to everyone. He probably ruined any chance he had at being able to make a friend, at being able to…
“God, what the fuck is wrong with me?” he asked frustratedly. “All that ever happens is everything around me gets screwed the hell up! Why can’t things just be easy?”
The moon offered no answer, only staring silently down at him as he huffed angrily at his circumstances. He couldn’t make one friend. Not one. Not even with what were likely the two most idiotic girls he had ever met. There was no way he was going to find two easier friends than that, and he couldn’t even manage to manipulate them. It was just gonna be one more week of bullshit for him before Death used his scythe to kill him. How he thought he could ever make one friend, he didn’t know. Death was right when he said he thought his soul was truly lost.
He sighed to himself as he lay on his back on the bench, staring at the stars. They were prettier here than they were on Earth, although he couldn’t recognize the constellations. It was one beautiful thing. One thing in a life full of nothing but regrets and sadness and pain, but one thing he wanted to appreciate. He only had a few days to. Might as well do his best to take it all in now.
God, I’m so stupid, he thought to himself. I’m gonna be alone for the rest of my short life like I always was because I can’t handle being around people.
He lay quietly on the bench, staring up at the sky until his view was obscured by someone hovering stationary overhead. It was the stallion from yesterday, the black one, Thunderlane he remembered. He was looking down at him with a silly expression, like a confused puppy watching something strange happen.
“What are you still doing on this bench?” he asked as he hovered over head. “Don’t tell me you sleep out here, do you?”
“What’s it to you?” Charley asked back angrily. “And can you get out of the way? You’re blocking my view.” He watched the bird pony, pegasus he remembered, float down next to him to talk to him, making Charley roll his eyes. He really just wanted to be alone right now, like he always was, even if he did need to make friends.
“Do you want to get a drink?” Thunderlane asked, the exact same question he asked the previous night. 
“I’m fine where I am,” he replied. “You don’t need to keep trying to pick me up, Mr. ‘I’m Not Gay’.”
“I’m not. It’s just weird seeing you laying on this bench again for the second night in a row. You’re not homeless, are you? Did you sleep out here?”
There was no reason he should’ve felt ashamed by that fact, but somehow, he did. The fur on his cheeks went red and he turned away, ears flattening against his skull.
“Yeah, well, it’s not like that matters. I won’t be here for very long anyway.” Five days. Five days, and then he’d be gone. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to stop existing, but he didn’t think it would be a pleasant experience.
“Look, you can stay out here if you want to. I was just offering you a drink because you seem like you’re lonely and could use one. If you want me to stop bothering you though, I will.” With the words, the black pegasus lifted his wings to take off again.
“Wait,” Charley called, sighing as he did. As nice as it would’ve been to mope around and feel sorry for himself, he knew he couldn’t pass up an offer like this. This might have been his very last chance at a friend after cursing out Pinkie Pie in front of everyone. He didn’t think there’d be very many more opportunities if he turned this down.
“Fine,” he finally agreed, standing back up from his spot on the bench and stretching out his wings. “I’ll have a drink with you. One drink though, because I’m not looking for you to take me home. Also you’re gonna have to pay, because I don’t have any money.”
“That’s fine, and I’m not trying to take you home, unless you don’t have a place to stay at. But like I said, I’m not gay, so if you’re expecting that from me, it’s not gonna happen.”
With that, Thunderlane spread his wings and took off, lifting a few dozen feet into the air before looking down to see Charley wasn’t following him.
“I can’t fly,” he called as he looked up at the black pegasus. “If you really want to buy me a drink, it has to be something I can get to on the ground, because there’s no way I can get up there.”
“You really can’t fly?” Thunderlane asked as he settled back on the ground. “Your wings look fine,” he said as he walked around Charley, using a wing to lift his, inspecting them. “I don’t see anything wrong with them. Did you just never learn?”
“Never learned, and I don’t think I’m gonna learn,” he said. “I asked one of these ponies to teach me, but I didn’t realize they were the worst pony to ask. They gave me bruises because they did nothing but crash into me, it was bad.”
“Are you talking about the gray mail mare with the yellow mane?” Thunderlane asked, smiling and chuckling a little bit. “I can’t remember her name, but she crashes into everypony. Like, she’d be the last person I’d ask to teach me to fly.”
“You’re telling me. I’m still sore from my last encounter with her.”
Charley smiled a little bit as he said it. It wasn’t much, just the corner of his mouth, but it was more than he’d given to anyone else in Equestria up to that point, genuinely at least. In fact it was more than he’d shown in months. It almost felt weird to do after so long.
“You should’ve asked me yesterday,” the pegasus told him. “I can teach you in about a day and a half, assuming you’ve never flown at all before and have no idea what you’re doing. I mean, not right now, of course, but whenever you want me to, if you’re up for it.”
“Uh, sure, I don’t see why not,” Charley shrugged. This might be his last attempt at friendship, but with how normal this guy sounded as compared to everyone else he talked to, this was also probably his best chance. He could manipulate this guy into being his friend, no sweat, as long as he didn’t act like those other two ponies.
“What about tomorrow?”
“Can’t do tomorrow. I have a Wonderbolts show to preform in for a good chunk of the day, and I’ll be worn out after. But the day after should be good. But anyway, let’s go get those drinks. Uh… do you know a good bar around here?”
He didn’t, but that didn’t ruin things for them. The two walked around for a while, looking for one that was more empty, when they finally found a place at the end of the town. It only had a few other ponies, which Charley appreciated, and the two found a spot where they could sit mostly alone. Thunderlane ordered apple cider for both of them, and they both took their drinks as they started to talk.
“What were you doing laying out on that bench alone?” Thunderlane asked, drinking about half his mug in one gulp. “It was two nights in a row you were out there. You aren’t really homeless, are you?”
“I guess technically I am,” he explained. “It doesn’t really matter though because I’m only gonna be here for a week. Less than that now actually. Five days.” He took sip of cider as he continued, “I could’ve stayed with Pinkie Pie, but…”
“But Pinkie acts like Pinkie?”
“Like she had twenty six cups of coffee in a row? Yeah.”
“Haha, yeah. Did she throw you one of her parties for being new in Ponyville?”
“If you’re talking about that little event that looked like it was meant for 3-year-olds, then yes. Yes, she did. And somehow everyone there looked like they were having the most fun ever, even though it was more boring than a bag of rocks.”
“Yeah, I can tell you I’ve been there,” Thunderlane laughed. It made Charley chuckle a tiny bit as the pegasus continued, “What are you doing in Ponyville anyway?” That was where Charley sighed again, any slight enjoyment he had about the conversation gone.
“Apparently I fucking suck at making friends,” he said as he sipped his drink, “so I got sent here to make one. And I have one week to do it.”
“Oh, well, making one friend should take no time at all. You said you talked to the mail mare and Pinkie Pie? You should already be friends with them. They literally want to be friends with everypony.”
“Yeah, well, like I said, they act like they’re hopped up on coffee and talk your ears off and bump into you a million times until you’re black and purple.” He sighed again, finishing, “It probably didn’t help that I cursed her out in front of everyone. She’s not bright, but I’m pretty sure she’ll take exception to that.”
“Oof. Yikes. Yeah, that’ll make it difficult," he said, cringing slightly at the idea of it. "But I mean, I’ll be your friend if you want me to be.”
“You will?” Charley asked, sounding confused as he raised an eyebrow. “Like, actually be my friend? No strings attached? Not gonna make me go to a party or tell me I’m scary or whatever other stupid thing?”
“Um, no?” Thunderlane laughed. “I mean, you asked, or well, you were about to, so what am I supposed to do? Not offer?”
“It just seems creepy with how quickly you offered. If you’re trying to seduce me, I’m telling you, I don’t roll like that.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m not trying to seduce you!” the pegasus said exasperated as he laughed at the idea. “You’re like a mare with how much you’re going on about that. I’m really not interested.”
That made Charley blush and turn away as he grumbled to himself for a second. “So we’re friends then?” he asked. “Just like that? You’re not gonna be weird or annoying about it or crash into me or tell me I’m scary? Because let me tell you, those two have been a couple of characters, especially the pink one.” As he said it, he realized he didn’t have very much room to talk, with as weird and creepy about it as he’d been.
“Sure,” Thunderlane smiled kindly. “I mean, I don’t really know you, but if you need to make a friend in a week, I can be your friend. I mean, as long as you're somepony normal who I can chill with. That’s hard to find down here in Ponyville.”
“Yeah, apparently. Everyone I talked to in this town is completely crazy." He left out the fact that he might have been a tad aggressive in his interactions.
“Ha, don’t I know it,” the stallion laughed. “What’s your name?”
“Charley. Charley Baker. And yours is Thunderlane, right?”
“Sure is, although your name is pretty weird. I’d expect that name to come from a griffon, honestly. I assume you bake stuff?”
“No. Well, I can, but I don’t,” he said. “I don’t really do anything. I guess that’s why I’m here.” He sighed and put a hoof on his chin, taking a gulp of his drink. He didn’t even bother to ask how hooves could be used to pick up anything. He really didn’t care.
Thunderlane sat silently waiting for an explanation, but one didn’t come. Instead, Charley asked, “And what does the name ‘Thunderlane’ mean?”
Charley tried his best to listen, but wasn’t really that interested. He wasn’t annoyed sitting there as Thunderlane talked about being in the Wonderbolts, something he clearly took pride in. It was much more bearable a conversation than anything he had with the other two ponies he interacted with. Part of it was the fact that he didn’t talk at Charley, which was something he appreciated. It was nice to be able to have an actual back and forth, even if most of it was getting the guy to talk about himself and what he liked.
Another part of it was that Thunderlane was just an interesting pony to look at. His coat might have been all black, but it was pristine, like it was well maintained and had pride put into it. His mane and tail were both cut perfectly, very short and bristly looking, something that looked a bit weird but also kind of worked for him. It was uniform, except for a few sharp angles that made him look a bit more rugged. Charley found himself once again thinking that he was extremely handsome.
Even more than that though were his eyes. He’d seen something similar on other ponies, but his matched his coat and mane perfectly. Watching how his irises shifted from golden to yellow as he stared into them completed his look, and what a look it was. He was stunning. Charley was certain the pony he was talking to could get any woman he went after. Any man, too, for that matter.
Blech. Stop acting like a fourteen-year-old girl. He’s a horse. And a man, for that matter. 
“So what about you, Charley? What do you do?” Thunderlane asked, that kind hearted, perfectly friendly smile still on his face. It made Charley realize he was smiling too, and caused him to drop back into his usual frown.
“I worked in fast food, at a place called Hardees. Flipping burgers and frying fries and talking to rude people and the whole nine yards. It was awful.” He looked down at his butt and remarked, “So awful that they put a frying basket on my butt as a reminder that I’m good for nothing else.”
“Hmm. Well, just because it’s your special talent doesn’t mean that’s what you have to do,” Thunderlane said.
“Yup, that’s me. My special talent is working a dead end job at Hardees.”
“That’s not what I meant. You can be great at other things and do other things. Like me. My special talent is cloud control and weather maintenance, but I’m in the Wonderbolts full time. You don’t have to do whatever your cutie mark says.”
“Yeah, right. As if I’m good at anything else.”
He didn’t know what a cutie mark was, but he could guess it was the picture on his flank signifying his ‘special talent’. Even after dying of cancer, God or the universe or whatever was out there was still playing jokes on him at his expense. Not that he was surprised of course.
“Let me have another drink,” he said as he finished the rest of his mug.
 Another drink was poured as the two continued to talk, Thunderlane asking Charley about himself now. He mostly deflected when he could, not really wanting to discuss how terrible his life was, but did talk about a few things. He talked about how he had a sixteen-year-old son he’d hadn’t seen in ten years and an ex wife who hated him, and how he never really was able to amount to anything because he didn’t finish school. It made the stallion frown to hear.
He also described how he liked to listen to super loud rock music and sit at the library and write little stories no one would ever see, and go out walking in the middle of the night to look at the stars. It got Thunderlane to smile when he heard it, which was a good thing. Charley didn’t want to come off as completely boring and depressing, even if what he offered wasn’t much.
“I always wanted to be an astronomer,” Charley told him. “Since I was a little kid.” He scowled down at his cutie mark, saying, “Just another thing that I lost out on because my life hates me.”
Couldn’t be an astronomer, couldn’t be a woman, couldn’t have parents who loved him, couldn’t even live to be thirty five years old. What could he have?
He could have one of those things when he saw death again though. He just had to keep going, keep manipulating this pony. This was working. He was sure of it.
“You want to be an astronomer? Like, somepony who looks at the stars and charts meteors and stuff?” Charley nodded, and Thunderlane continued, “Then go and be that. I’m sure there are schools you could go to and stuff if that’s what you want to do. I actually know a pegasus who’s special talent was something like uniform making, or something else she hated. She went on to do astronomy, and now works under Princess Luna to help map the stars.”
He didn’t know what all that meant, but laughed sadly anyway. “It’s too late for all that now. Way, way too late. Any dreams I have these days are all just fantasies.” He sighed and finished, “I guess that’s why I’m here.”
“You’re here because you didn’t become an astronomer, so someone told you to learn about friendship?”
“I guess in a way, yes, but that’s just… a whole can of worms I don’t wanna get into at all. Long story short though, my life is just a fucking mess, and I need to make a friend to prove it’s not.” 
“Well like I said, I’ll be your friend,” Thunderlane offered. “And if you like astronomy and stars and stuff, I have a place in Cloudsdale that’s perfect for looking at the stars. I take all of my dates there.” His face went hot red when he realized what he said. “Not that I’m trying to take you out, of course,” he quickly added. “I’m not. I swear.”
“Sure you’re not,” Charley replied unamused, rolling his eyes. “Either way, Cloudsville sounds like a place I’d have to fly to, and once again, I can’t do that.” He extended his wings for emphasis. “So unless you’re gonna carry me there, it’s not happening.”
“I can carry you there if you want,” the stallion offered. “That’s not an issue at all.”
“You’re gonna carry me, a full grown horse, all the way up to a city in the sky?” Charley asked, unbelieving. 
“Sure. It’s only a few thousand feet. I’ve carried heavier ponies twice as far without breaking a sweat.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. I mean, unless you don’t want me to. It’s fine if you don’t.”
“And you’re really not trying to pick me up?” Charley asked suspiciously. “Because I won’t lie, this has serious, ‘I wanna fuck you’ vibes, and like I said, I don’t roll like that.”
“I promise, I’m not trying to pick you up,” Thunderlane laughed. “I just thought you were looking for a friend, and figured I’d do a better job at helping you with that than Pinkie Pie would.”
“Well I haven’t cursed you out yet, so that’s something. But I’m still pretty sure you won’t be able to carry me to Cloudsville.”
“Well, let’s go outside and I can prove it,” Thunderlane said firmly, finishing his drink and getting up. “This’ll be a piece of cake, even after a couple of drinks.”
Charley shrugged, finishing his own drink before he stepped back outside. This whole situation was so intensely strange, and just got stranger by the hour. He’d go with it though, if it meant being able to make one friend and get out of here. Thunderlane was much easier to work with and talk to than anypony else, and he might have actually enjoyed being around the stallion a little bit.
“You know, I really don’t see how– whoa! What are you doing?” Thunderlane was suddenly behind him, putting one hoof between his legs and the other around his barrel to lift him up and lay him on his back in his grasp.
“I’m taking you to Cloudsdale, remember?” the stallion smiled. “You said you didn’t think I could do it, so now I’m gonna prove it to you.”
“You’re really gonna be able to fly with me in your arms like this?” he asked. In response, Thunderlane spread his wings and kicked off the ground, lifting him into the air.
“You’re really gonna fly carrying me like this!” Charley laughed, the idea completely ridiculous. “I thought you said you weren’t trying to pick me up!” he joked. "And yet here I am, being carried in your arms."
“What can I say? You convinced me. But then again, who wouldn’t be convinced to try and pick you up, what with those beautiful green eyes of yours?”
“Stop it!” he laughed, getting more enjoyment from this than he should’ve been. He had to admit, he was getting to like this stallion more and more, even if he hadn’t known him for very long. Only an hour or so, not any time at all. Even still, it was more than he could say he’d gotten from anyone else in the last ten years. It helped that Thunderlane was kind of a charmer and easy to talk to.
“Eventually, I’m gonna expect you to do this yourself,” the stallion said to Charley, stopping on a cloud that rested several hundred feet below a towering city. “You’re heavier than I thought,” he said, laying on his back for a breath.
“Is this the spot? This isn’t really a good place to look at stars. That… cloud city thing, it obscures most of our view.”
“No, this isn’t it. I’m just stopping here to rest for a little while.”
“Resting?” Charley smiled a little bit. “You said you could carry stallions twice my size without breaking a sweat.”
Was he actually liking spending time with this pony? He barely even knew him. He didn’t even enjoy spending time with people he’d known for years. What could’ve been so different about this guy?
What is this, some ‘love at first sight’ crap? Don’t go getting attached to him. You’re only here so you can make a friend and then leave. Nothing else.
“How are we even able to lay on clouds like this?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure we should be falling through them to our deaths, since they’re made of water vapor.”
“We’re pegasi,” Thunderlane explained. “The magic in our bodies lets us walk on clouds and stuff. You should know all of this.”
“Well, I can’t fly, so if you’re expecting me to know anything, you’re wrong. I did glide down from about this height a couple of days ago, though, so that should be encouraging.”
“That’s good to hear. That means if I throw you off a cliff when I teach you, you won’t die. It’s much easier to learn in the sky than on the ground.”
“I’ll trust you on that.” Charley stretched and yawned, asking, “Can we keep going now? I wanna see that spot you take all your dates, Mr. ‘I’m Not Trying To Pick You Up’.”
“Haha, like I said, I’m not into stallions. I mean, unless you’re secretly a mare?”
Charley flinched hard hearing that, and turned away. He so hated having that poked at. Why were all these ponies able to see and poke at that? It hurt badly to have that nerve touched, it was so raw.
Charley knew Thunderlane could see how fast it made him scowl, and wasn’t surprised when he heard an apology a second later.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you upset like that. Uh, ready to see the spot I was talking about?”
“Ready if you are. But please, just… for future reference, don’t say things like that to me.”
“I will make sure to not say things like that,” the stallion assured him, moving to pick Charley up again a second later. “Ready?” he asked.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
With the confirmation, Thunderlane kicked off the ground and began to fly again, Charley silently enjoying feeling the wind in his hair, liking the idea that he was going to spend more time with the stallion. It was a weird feeling for him, one he hadn’t had in a long time, the feeling that he wanted to spend time with someone else. He hated being around people, and yet, somehow, he didn’t really hate being around Thunderlane. In fact, he kind of liked it, even if it hurt having that nerve touched.
It was a scary thought, the idea that he liked spending time with Thunderlane.
 Stop acting like this, he told himself. You’re only here for someone to be friends with you, not for you to be friends with someone else. You’re only here so you can be who you want to be once this is all over.
> Chapter Five
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is a good spot, isn’t it?” Thunderlane commented as he lay next to Charley, who had his eyes firmly fixed upward to the heavens. “One of my favorites in all of Cloudsdale.”
“It’s very nice,” he agreed. “The stars are nice, even if I can’t figure out what any of the constellations are and everything looks different. But I guess there’s something nice to be had about seeing something different.”
“How big into astronomy are you?”
“Extremely. Like, I could talk for hours about it if you let me.” Not that he ever did. To talk about astronomy required people he liked talking to, which he had none. Not that he would if he could. He knew how annoying it was to just be talked at endlessly. He’d experienced that just today, although it was more rambling coming from Pinkie Pie.
“Well, you can talk to me if you want to,” Thunderlane told him. “I don’t mind.” That earned a confused look from the stallion.
“Why?” he asked. “You don’t even know me. Like, what do you have to gain from doing this?”
“Um, nothing? Why would I be trying to gain something?”
“Cause I- it’s- it’s just weird! You keep saying you’re not trying to pick me up, and yet you’re going out of your way to do things for me like take me up here and buy me drinks and whatever ese. It’s not a normal thing for people to do.”
“I’m not gonna lie,” Thunderlane laughed, “I don’t think you’ve ever really had a friend if you think you need to get something out of friendship for it to work. The point of being friends is that you don’t need something else. Otherwise, that would just be manipulation.”
The words made Charley scowl and turn away, blushing to himself embarrassedly. Of course he didn’t know how making friends worked. That was the whole reason he was here, wasn’t it? Pinkie Pie probably knew more about it than he did.
“Look, let’s just forget about all of that,” the black pegasus started again. “What is it about astronomy that you like the most?”
“I’m fine,” he grumbled. “I don’t wanna talk about it,”
“I can teach you how to make friends if you want me to,” Thunderlane offered, using a wing tip to reach out to him. “If you don’t know how, I can help you.”
“I’m fine,” Charley said again, pulling away and tucking his wings close to his body. “It’s not like it matters anyway.” He let out a bitter, hopeless breath as he remained turned away.
Both were quiet for a while after that, Charley keeping his wings pressed against himself as he went back to watching the sky. For someone who claimed he wasn’t interested, Thunderlane was acting extremely interested. Offering to teach him about friendship, touching his wing like that, even just laying up here– it was hard to believe the stallion didn’t want anything.
And that fact shouldn’t have made him blush. It should’ve made him angry if anything. Frustrated. Not embarrassed and red faced. He was doing to Charley exactly what Charley was trying to do to him. Manipulate him. And yet he somehow found that fact strangely appealing. The idea that a pony he’d known for no more than two or three hours was into him made him want to smile, as silly as it was. And he was going along with it, too. He really was acting like a teenage girl.
“I think I should go,” he finally said, standing up to stretch his wings out. “This was… okay,” he said, not wanting to admit it was nice, even given Thunderlane’s obvious intentions. “But this means we’re friends now, right?”
“Sure, but you’re not gonna be sleeping outside, are you?” he asked. “I’m not gonna let you sleep on a bench in the park for a second night in a row. That’s not happening.”
That was another thing. Even if he was manipulating him, Thunderlane was being way too nice to him. It was another thing Charley hadn’t really experienced too much in life. People being genuinely nice to him. He remembered times when he went without a home for a few weeks because of issues with his wife, and no one was so kind to him. There were a few attempts at niceness while he lived in the hospital, but on his death bed didn’t really count in his opinion. 
“Why are you doing this?” he asked again, whispering now. “There’s no reason for you to do this.”
“Because it’s the right thing to do?” he replied. “Not even the right thing. It’s just having basic decency for fellow ponies. Plus, you said you wanted to be friends, so I don’t see how I can not try and help you out if you needed it.”
“Well, like I said, it feels like you’re trying to make a move on me,” he said quietly, “and that’s the last thing I would want, even if I did like you.”
“Aw, but you have such an amazing personality,” Thunderlane joked. “As well as a very cute laugh.”
That made Charley laugh for a second before he got control of himself. “It’s things like that that make it seem like you’re trying to pick me up. I’m really not trying to be charmed into liking you, if that’s what you’re trying to do.”
“What, stallions can’t tell their friends how much they think their smile warms up their cold, cold exterior?” It made Charley smile again, even though he really didn’t want to. There was no way he liked Thunderlane like that. What was wrong with him?
“I won’t do that anymore if you don’t want me to though,” he continued. “If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll stop. I don’t wanna make you feel weird.”
“It’s fine. I just want to let you know that’s how it feels, and that, um…”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Can we go back to looking at the stars and being quiet?”
“Sure. But if you want to gush to me, you can. I don’t mind. Actually, it’s honestly adorable when ponies talk about a topic they’re super interested in.”
“Well, astronomy’s not something that’s adorable, but I do like it.”
“What about it do you like?”
“It’s just… it’s interesting. There’s a whole universe of stuff out there to learn about. Take the moon for example. Just that, an object so near to us, has a story to tell.”
“And what story is that?” Thunderlane asked with a smile, engaging him.
Despite saying he didn’t want to and that he wouldn’t, Charley gushed. He couldn’t remember the last time that he did, but it was nice. He knew the stallion was just trying to get him to talk and wasn’t actually interested, but it was a good time anyway. He knew it was doing nothing to curb his attraction to the handsome stallion though.
I guess this is fine, he thought to himself. I’m sure Death was gonna say something about how I wasn’t friends with someone if Thunderlane said he was my friend just because. I’ll still be out of here by tomorrow at this rate. Maybe when I wake up.
He still wasn’t going to say just how much he liked spending time with Thunderlane. There was no way he liked a stallion he’d only just met this much.
“If you want to, we can head up to a party they’re having in Cloudsdale for members of the Wonderbolts,” the stallion finally said once Charley was finally finished talking a while later. "They've been having a party every night for the past week, and I have to say, they're something else."
“I’m really not one for parties,” he said. “As fun as Pinkie Pie’s party was, it’s not really my style to go to parties made for nine year olds.”
“Haha, it’s not like that at this party. It’s an actual party. Minus the drinking though. Can’t be hungover for when I preform tomorrow. A couple of drinks at the bar is fine though.”
“I’ll pass,” he said. “If you can’t tell, I’m not really a people person. Parties aren’t my thing.”
“That’s fine. If you want to, we can just spend the night at my place. Unless you really aren’t homeless and do have a place to stay.”
He felt unbelievably conflicted. He wanted to say no but he didn’t know why. There was hardly a reason to. Sleeping outside for a second night in a row didn’t seem very fun, and he certainly did like spending time with Thunderlane, as much as he hated to admit it. He really didn’t know what about him it was, other than the fact that he was nice and acted normal, unlike other ponies around here. That, and he did listen happily as Charley talked about the things he liked. Not to mention, he had absolutely beautiful eyes that he liked staring into, eyes that made him smile when he saw them.
Stop it! You’ve known this guy for less than three hours! Don’t get yourself wrapped up in this! You’re here so you can make a friend, not find some teenage romance!
He had to say no, if only to avoid all of this, if only because he felt so ashamed that he liked this pony. There was no reason he should have. And yet he couldn’t help but have his cheeks go red thinking about spending the night with him, couldn’t help but want to smile whenever he smiled. There must have been something in the air.
I can't say no, he reminded himself. I have to find a friend. I'm only saying yes so I can find a friend and get this whole thing over with.
“I don’t have a place to stay, but don’t expect to try and, like, kidnap me or go looking for something I’m not gonna give,” he said. “I keep saying this, but if you’re looking for a quick pickup from me, that’s absolutely positively not going to happen, so just get that idea out of your head.”
“I have a little brother who’s staying with me, you know,” Thunderlane told him. “I’m not doing that with him in the house, no way. And like I said, I’m not into guys, even if you have a super precious smile and beautiful eyes.”
“I- you- s-stop it! Don’t– you’re trying to charm me, I just know it.” Charley turned his head so the stallion couldn’t see his big, fat smile. 
“Maybe a little bit,” he admitted. “But what can I say? Flirting with ponies is fun, even if I’m not going to do anything with them or they’re the same gender as me.”
“Well I’m only trying to make a friend, not fall in love with the first pony I spend more than an hour talking to.”
“That’s just how it goes sometimes, man. I don’t blame you if you’re falling in love with me though. In fact, I’ll take it as a compliment if you are! Maybe I should try harder.”
“Don’t. Do not try harder. I’m telling you, that’s not something I’m looking for. I’m not interested in falling in love when I’m gonna be here for less than a week.”
“No promises. With how much you blush, I’m gonna be surprised if you’re not falling for me by the time the week’s up.”
Charley was not gonna let that happen. He was not. He needed to get his head examined if he thought there was a possibility of him falling in love with this pony. Was this why Death did this?
“But for real though,” Thunderlane continued, “if you’re uncomfortable, I can stop. For now though, why don’t we get going? I can’t stay up all night, what with the show I’m putting on tomorrow. I have a guest bedroom for you to stay in if you want it.”
“Yes, a bed sounds very nice,” he reluctantly agreed, going against his better judgment.
For the third time, he was being lifted into the air, this time for a short flight to the home Thunderlane stayed at. The lights were on in front of the brick house, and he found himself wondering how such a thing could be supported on a cloud. He didn’t think too hard about it though, stepping through the door behind the stallion and entering into his home.
“Come on!” some little boy complained as he sat on the couch, intensely focused on a game he was playing. “I know I can beat Button Mash’s high score, but I keep messing up!”
“Hi to you, too, Rumble,” Thunderlane laughed as he used a hoof to ruffle his mane. “This is my little brother, Rumble” he explained to Charley. “He’s a good colt who just wants to be like his older brother and join the Wonderbolts, doesn’t he?”
“Ha, I’m gonna be better than you,” Rumble said, not looking up from his game. “First though, I’m gonna be better than Button Mash and beat his high score.”
“Of course you are,” the stallion laughed. “He’s been obsessed with that game he and his friends play,” he explained to Charley. “It seems like that’s all they do these days. Anyway, let me show you the guest room. Or actually, before that, let me cook us some dinner. Have you eaten yet?”
“No, but I’m not really hungry,” he told him. It was a strange thing to say, that he knew, seeing as he’d hardly eaten anything since he became a pony two days ago. It was the truth though, and he felt willing to pass on food again.
“Well I’m gonna cook us food anyway,” the stallion told him. “Unless you want to do it? I mean, you did say your cutie mark was for cooking after all.”
“I’m fine,” he replied flatly, walking into the kitchen behind Thunderlane. “You can do all of that. I’m not big on cooking, despite what my butt says.”
“Okie dokie. Hey, Rumble! What do you want to eat for dinner? And don’t say macaroni and cheese. We had that yesterday.”
“Hmm… can we have hayfries and carrot sticks?” he asked. “Oh! And apples, too!”
“You wanna eat snack food for dinner?” Thunderlane asked, raising an eyebrow. Charley raised his eyebrow, too. It didn’t sound particularly appetizing, especially not hay.
“You said I could choose, and that’s what I choose.”
“Well, pick either apples or carrots. We can have hayfries, but we’re also having something of sustenance, like oatmeal or spinach or and fish.”
“That sounds like a very weird dinner,” Charley commented. “Also I didn’t think you guys would eat something like fish.”
“All pegasi eat fish! At least everypony I know does,” Thunderlane said. “Have you not eaten it?”
“I have, I just didn’t think you guys would. It seems weird.” 
“Well then I guess fish is what it will be, since Charley here doesn’t know we eat that.” Then he turned to him and said, “I know you said you don’t like cooking, but do you at least wanna help make it?”
“No thanks. I’m fine.”
“Well then feel free to take a seat on the couch. I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready. There’s books and stuff for you to read if you’re interested, and a radio if you like music or listening to Princess Celestia give speeches.”
He took a spot on the couch next to Rumble, but didn’t go for the radio or a book. Instead, he sat and stared silently at Thunderlane, watching him cook. Why was he so insistent on letting him stay here? Did people really act like this all the time? Because it really seemed like he was trying to either trick him into doing something or that he was trying to pick him up. Unless he really was so friendly as to buy a stranger a drink and let them into his home.
If he was just trying to manipulate him like Charley was him, it was definitely working. He was obviously a big flirt, something he could get away with because of his lean, strong looking masculine figure. He looked like the kind of person who took care of himself, too, seeming like he was a bit muscular despite his leanness. He obviously sounded like it, too, since he took time to make sure his dinners weren’t just nothing but snacks. 
Not to mention, his eyes, and that smile. He didn’t know what it was about it, but every once in a while, Thunderlane would look back and send his way a golden smile, one that forced Charley to smile against his will. He looked him in the eyes as he did, sending a look that made his heart flutter and his cheeks go red. It was extremely strange, as well as quite annoying, and he didn’t understand why it was happening. There was no way he was attracted to this pony. It made him frustrated to think that such a thing was even a possibility. Charley was supposed to be manipulating him, not the other way around.
“Hey, um, what did you say your name was?” Rumble asked as he looked up from his game.
“Charley.”
“Hey, Charley, are you in love with my brother?”
“What? No. I’m not.”
“Well, you’ve been staring at him for like the last five minutes,” Rumble said. 
“I’m not staring at him,” Charley grumbled, his ears pressing against his head. “I’m just watching him cook. I’m supposed to be an expert chef or something apparently because my butt says so.”
“That’s what the Cutie Mark Crusaders would say,” the colt replied. “But also, whenever Thunderlane looks back at you, you smile and blush like Sweetie Belle does when she sees Button Mash.”
His cheeks went red at that, frowning at the observation. “I’m just using him so I can get out of whatever this world is. I don’t actually like him.”
“You’re using my brother?” the colt asked suspiciously.
“Not like that,” he sighed. “That’s not what I meant. It’s an extremely long story, and not one I’m interested in telling anyone here, especially not a little kid.”
“I’m not a little kid! I’m almost thirteen years old!”
“Got it. A little kid.” With that, he opted to stare silently at the wall for the rest of the time he waited for Thunderlane to cook dinner. Even as handsome as the stallion was and as great as his personality seemed to be in the few hours Charley knew him, there was no way he was going to fall in love like he was in some trashy romance novel.
It was only a few minutes after that before dinner was finished, something Charley turned his nose up to. “The fish smells like it’s burnt,” he complained, “and I’m not gonna be eating hay, let me say that right now.”
“It tastes fine to me,” the stallion said. “What about you, Rumble?”
“It’s good. I think your friend is just complaining because he doesn’t want to seem like he’s in love with you.”
“I’m not in love, and it is burned. Overcooked is a better word I guess. It’s supposed to be flaky and easy to eat, not dry and chewy like it is now. Honestly, this is bad.”
“I can trade pieces with you if you want?” Thunderlane offered. “Or cook you another piece for you. Actually, if you want, you can cook it.”
“I don’t like cooking. I’m not interested in cooking. And I doubt you cooking another piece will make it any better if you can’t tell what’s wrong with it now. I’ll just eat carrots and call that dinner.”
He was being truthful when he said it. The fish really was overcooked, and part of the reason he said it was to bring attention to it. However, part of the reason was also to think of a reason to not like this stallion. He didn’t want to be in love with him, and wanted some distance put between them. Just a little bit though. Close enough so he could say he made a friend, and far away enough that he didn’t have Thunderlane hanging over him and falling in love. Or worse, having Charley hanging over Thunderlane and falling in love.
There’s no way I’d ever fall in love with this guy, he thought to himself, but might as well take the precaution anyway.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” Thunderlane got out, frowning sadly, a bit quieter now. “I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”
Thunderlane had to be trying to manipulate him, because that little line made Charley press his ears against his head again as he saw the look on the stallion’s face. He wasn’t one to care what other people thought of what he said or how he acted, but right now, he felt bad about making him feel bad. It was such a strange feeling, and an unfamiliar one at that.
“Maybe I overexaggerated a little bit,” he tried to backtrack. “I mean, some parts are fine. I can show you how to cook it right later if you really want me to.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do if you have to.” He sounded a bit sad saying it, looking down at the plate for a second before raising his head and smiling again. “I guess I’ll just have to find dinners I can actually make for you.”
How can he smile like that all the time? Charley wondered as he ate his carrots. God, my personality is just terrible, and yet he's still smiling. What in the world is wrong with him? Maybe I should be trying to act better.
He felt embarrassed that he thought that. He wasn’t one to really care how he acted or about how his personality came off to people. Why did he care now?
“Hopefully you can,” he said, finishing his carrots. “Anyway, I’ve been up all day, and if I can, I’d like to get some sleep.”
“Oh sure! Just follow me!”
This is so weird, he couldn’t help but think as he stood up and followed behind him. This is such a weird situation to be in with someone like this. I guess it doesn’t matter though since I’ll be out of here by the time I wake up, but this is still super weird.
The room he was put in was very nice, one with purplish indigo walls and soft yellow curtains, Charley’s two favorite colors. The bed was well made and the pillows look soft, much softer than anything he’d ever slept on. There was a radio in the room and a few books, as well as a window offering a great view of the night sky.
“This is where you’re gonna be staying,” his host explained. “I know it’s not much, but it should be comfy enough. This is on the condition though that you go to my Wonderbolts show tomorrow,” he said. “It’s gonna be amazing.”
“If you insist,” Charley agreed as he yawned, stretching his wings and thinking about how he wasn’t going to be here. “I need to go to sleep for now though.”
“I understand. If you need anything though, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’ll leave you be for now though.”
“Hey, um…” Charley stopped him, putting a wing on his shoulder as he looked down at his own hooves. Apologizing wasn’t something he normally did, but he felt the need to now.
“I didn’t mean to insult your cooking,” he said. “I mean, it was bad cooking, I’m not gonna lie, but I shouldn’t have just blurted that out.” It was such a pathetic apology, but it was the best he could manage.
“It’s fine,” Thunderlane said kindly. “I can’t be good at everything, and if you have a cutie mark in cooking, I’d expect you to have high standards.”
“Well, I hope I didn’t… make you upset.”
“Nope. I’m not upset, I promise,” he assured him with a light laugh. “It takes a lot more than being told my cooking is bad to get me upset.” He flashed a smile Charley’s way, who smiled in return until he realized what he was doing.
“Anyway, like I said, if you need anything, just let me know.” He turned to leave with that, but Charley reached a hoof up to him to stop him again.
“Wait, I have one more thing,” he started. “Would you say that we’re friends now? Since you’re letting me stay the night here? I know I’m being pushy and angry and annoying as fuck, but are we?”
“What? Of course!” Thunderlane laughed. “I literally carried you all the way up to my house. I mean, sure, you act a little bit… abrasive, but there’s no way we’re not friends after that. You actually remind me of my friend Rainbow Dash a little bit.”
That made Charley smile, now thoroughly satisfied with this arrangement. He would close his eyes and fall asleep, and when he woke up again, he would be able to be himself. He made a friend like Death asked him too, and in much less than a week. And he thought Charley couldn’t do it.
He didn’t fall asleep immediately though. He was kept up by thoughts of Thunderlane and spending time with him. It shouldn’t have made him blush to think about the pony, but somehow, it did. He didn’t know what it was that was so appealing. He just had a way about him that Charley didn’t understand. It made him cover his face with his wings in embarrassment, as though someone was watching and laughing at him.
Sleep did eventually find him, and when it did, he dreamed he was in front of Death again. He looked exactly the same as he did before, and so did Charley. He glanced down at himself for a moment and smiled happily at the sight of himself, then looked back up at Death and gave him a smug grin.
“Did you see that?” he said proudly. “I knew I could do it, even though you said you didn’t think I could. And I did it in less than a week.”
“It does seem as though you have some creature who claims to be your friend. Although I hope you can keep it for the whole week. You have a habit of destroying these things the few times they start. As well, I wouldn’t say just having that pony say you’re friends counts as friendship.”
“It absolutely does,” Charley replied, enjoying how his voice sounded. “There’s no reason it can’t. He said we were friends, so that makes us friends. I did exactly what you wanted in less than half the time.”
“No, you didn’t. That pony is no more than an acquaintance, if that. He doesn’t care for you. If you disappeared from his life, he wouldn’t give you much of a second thought. Your soul is just as dim now as it was before, if not a bit more so after that incident this afternoon with those mares.”
He went right back to frowning and scowling like he always did. “I’m doing my best. I talked to Thunderlane and–”
“You’re not doing your best,” Death interrupted. “You’re doing what you always do, and trying to force things and meet your ends and nothing else. Those aren’t the things friendship and care are based on. And yet you continue to fool around and waste time as if you truly don’t care what happens to you.” He sighed, raising his scythe as he did before. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you all of this. It’s only been two days and you’re so hopeless. We might as well end this now.”
“No! You can’t do that! You said I have a week!”
Gone was the surfer look Death had, his face morphing into something hideous, with many sharp angles and a monsterish voice to match. He grew in size, towering over Charley with a frightening expression, one that made him fall on his butt in fear. Whatever creature in front of him was, it was worthy of the name Death.
“And you think you deserve that long?” the monster asked. “You think you deserve any time at all? When will you realize that the universe hates you? It’s why you’re bitter and angry and hopeless and will never be who you want to be. Only in your dreams can you pretend. Only in your dreams will you be mocked with what you’ll never have.”
“Why are you doing this to me then?” Charley asked angrily, painfully, his voice shaking as he did. “Why are you putting me through this? If making a friend is what’s gonna help me be able to be myself, then I’ll make a friend, but you have to give me a chance! You can't change the rules on me!”
“When will you wake up and see that all you ever had is all you’ll ever get?” the monster asked. “When will you wake up? You’ll never get anything else. The past will never change, and your future is already set in stone.”
“No it’s not! I can make a friend! I already have in Thunderlane! He's a friend to me!”
When will you wake up?
“Charley, wake up,” Thunderlane said, shaking his shoulder as the stallion slowly made his way into wakefulness. He for a second forgot where he was, but remembered a moment later as he stared into his host’s perfect eyes.
“I told you that you have to come to my Wonderbolts show today, and that means waking up early so we can get good seating… are you crying?”
“Huh? No, I got something in my eye,” he lied as he rubbed them dry. “Do you have a shower I can use?”
“Sure, it’s in the bathroom,” he said. “But you better hurry! I want you to get front row seats to the show, and that means getting there as soon as possible.”
> Chapter Six
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was only about an hour after he woke up that Charley was seated in the bleachers of a large stadium. He was next to Rumble in the front row, who looked as excited as ever, as Thunderlane explained what he would be doing.
“It’s the first show of the season,” he said, “so everypony’s gonna be expecting something great to kick us off. I’ll be at the top of the formation and leading slightly so I can direct everypony.”
“You’re directing everypony?” Rumble asked in awe. “That’s so cool! Doesn’t Captain Spitfire normally do that?”
“She does, but she’s came down with something nasty a few days ago, so she’s putting me in charge of that. It’s because she trusts me the most out of all the members of the Wonderbolts.”
“Or maybe she doesn’t think you can pull off the simultaneous inverse displacement rolls Soarin’ and I are gonna do,” someone else said. They were a light blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and violet eyes. Beside her was the stallion Thunderlane was with yesterday, Soarin’ he assumed. They both had cocky smiles on their faces, like they knew they were better than everyone else. It wasn’t like the nice, calm, confident smile that Thunderlane wore.
“Just face it,” the lady said. “We’re better than you. Being the leader is just a consolation prize.”
“If you say so,” Thunderlane replied smoothly. “I guess we’ll find out when Spitfire finally retires for good and names me captain in her place. We’ll see who’s better than who then.”
“I guess we will,” the mare shot back. “Come on, Soarin’. We better make sure we’re ready for today.”
The two zipped away at that, Thunderlane chuckling to himself at the exchange. “That right there, the rainbow maned one, was Rainbow Dash. She’s the one I said you acted like a little bit.”
“I can’t see myself acting like that,” Charley said. “I’m not that cocky.” Maybe self absorbed though, he would admit. But did it count as self absorbed if he readily admitted he didn’t care about how he was perceived and didn’t like people?
“Anyway, I’m sure you’re better than either of them. I haven’t seen you act cocky like they were since I met you, so that probably means you’re confident in your ability.”
“Thunderlane’s the best!” Rumble jumped in. “When you see him in the air, you’ll know just how good he is! He’s way better than Rainbow Dash and Soarin’!”
“Haha, thanks for the kind words, little rascal,” his older brother laughed, ruffling his mane with a hoof. “Speaking of seeing me in the air, I should probably get to changing into my uniform now, and warming up in a few minutes. It’s probably another hour before the show starts, but it’s always best to be ready early. I’ll be back.”
He left with that, leaving Charley and Rumble sitting alone for a few minutes. When he came back, he was all dressed up in a brightly colored blue and yellow uniform, complete with goggles that rested on his forehead. The uniform itself was tight against his body, but not weirdly so. In fact, it made his muscles and masculine features stand out more and made him even more attractive, if that was possible.
“How do I look?” Thunderlane asked, striking a quick pose.
Absolutely stunning, Charley thought silently, not daring to say such a thing out loud. He felt embarrassed enough that it was the first thought to come to mind.
“You look great!” Rumble cheered. “Way better than everypony else out there! It’s no competition!”
“Thanks, little bro,” Thunderlane laughed. “What about you, Charley?”
“It looks fine enough,” he offered, avoiding making eye contact with the stallion. It was the understatement of the year.
“You can just never please some ponies, apparently,” he chuckled. “I guess fine enough is fine enough though. Anyway, I have to get to warming up now. I’ll see you ponies in the skies.”
“See you later then.”
“You’ll be amazing!”
Thunderlane smiled at them before leaving again. He didn’t go very far, maybe fifty yards or so, close enough for Charley to keep his eyes on. He was at a point where he might as well acknowledge that he liked looking at the pony. Not that he liked them though. Sure, he was attractive, but that didn’t mean anything. He’d never been romantically attracted to anyone, not even his ex wife, and that certainly wasn’t going to start now. Even if he did like either men or ponies, which he didn’t, romantic attraction wasn’t something that showed up in a matter of hours.
Just admit he’s the man you’ve been dreaming of being with for the last decade and a half, he thought before he could stop himself. He grumbled and cursed under his breath that he thought such a thing, then let out a long sigh. Why did he still care about this? In a few days none of who he was would matter anymore, either because he made a friend or he didn’t.
“Are you gay?” Rumble suddenly asked out of the blue, making Charley turn the kid’s way. “You’re definitely in love with Thunderlane,” he said. “You’re staring at him again just like yesterday. I know you like him.”
“I’m not gay, and I’m not in love with your brother,” Charley rolled his eyes, pointing them down to his hooves afterward. 
“Then what are you?” he asked. “Because you keep staring at him like you love him. Thunderlane only likes mares.”
“So he’s told me, not that it matters because I don’t like him. Even if I did though, it wouldn’t make me gay.”
The second he uttered the sentence, Charley huffed to himself and put a hoof on his forehead in annoyance. Why did he have to say that? In his entire life, he’d never slipped up like this, but he all but blurted it out right there with that statement. What was going on with him?
“How would that not be gay?”
“It’s nothing. I’m not having this conversation with a little kid,” he muttered.
“I’m not a little kid!” Rumble said defiantly. “I’m gonna be thirteen in a few months!”
“And in a few months, you’ll still be a little kid.”
The colt scowled angrily at Charley, saying, “If you’re gonna say you’re bi, I already know what that is. Thunderlane isn’t that.”
Charley let out another annoyed breath. “I’m not bi,” he said aloud as he stared ahead at nothing but the open blue sky and clouds in front of him. A few seconds later, he muttered something else under his breath.
“Huh? What did you say? I didn’t hear you. You’re just a what?”
“Nothing. Never mind. I’m not having this conversation with a twelve year old.” With that, the two went to sitting in silence, watching Thunderlane and the other Wonderbolts warm up near them.
Charley couldn’t believe he actually let himself say that, even if he muttered it, even if it was only a little kid around him, even if he didn’t really hear what he said. What possessed him to say that? He’d never told anyone in his entire life. Maybe it was the fact that it was a little kid, or maybe it was just that he’d be gone by the end of the week and it wouldn’t matter anymore since he’d be the woman he was in front of Death again. Either way, the words weren’t ever going to amount to anything here in horse world.
Except Thunderlane only likes mares, he thought to himself, blushing at the idea of it. That meant maybe…
No. No way. It wasn’t going to happen. He was only here for less than four more days anyway. There was no reason for that to ever come out, even if he did like Thunderlane that much, which he didn’t. He’d make friends with Thunderlane and then be out of here and nothing else. That was that. 
“Watcha thinkin’ about, Charley?” a familiar voice asked, one that made him scowl at the sound of it. He turned to see Pinkie Pie right next to him, wearing a stupid grin. How she snuck up on him, he didn’t know.
“Nothing,” he said, placing his eyes forward again. “I’m just trying to get ready to watch the show in peace and quiet.”
“Oh, well none of the Wonderbolts shows are ever quiet,” Pinkie Pie explained. “With all those super fast ponies zooming past us, it’s gonna be loud! But that’s part of the fun! It means you have to cheer louder for your favorite ponies to hear you, but don’t worry! I can cheer super duper loud for Rainbow Dash!”
“I’m sure you can,” he said flatly, not looking at her. “Don’t you have friends to sit with though?”
“Oh, sure I do! Twilight and Rarity and Apple Jack and Fluttershy all came up to Cloudsdale with me to watch the Wonderbolts show, and Twilight used a super secret magic spell to help up walk on clouds! She wouldn’t tell me what it was though. She said it was too complex to be taught to somepony without proper magical training. Besides! I don’t have a unicorn horn! How silly am I?”
“So then why don’t you go sit with them?” he griped.
“Because I want a front row seat view of the best Wonderbolt in the whole world, Rainbow Dash!” the mare cheered. “She’s gonna be the star of the whole show! Just you wait!”
“I doubt it,” Charley said, partly under his breath, ready to see just how good Thunderlane would be after he invited Charley to watch him. He expected a show.
“Well that’s cause your biased, silly filly! Oopsie, I mean silly colt! It’s because you’re making super duper lovey dovey eyes for that pony, aren’t you? And how cute you think he is is getting into your head and affecting your judgement!”
“I’m not in love with Thunderlane,” he huffed, looking away angrily. 
“Then how did you know which pony I was talking about, Charley?” the mare asked, wearing a stupid, smug grin. “But it’s okay, cause I know they’ll all do amazing! After all, they didn’t get into the Wonderbolts for nothing!”
“He’s totally in love with my brother though,” Rumble said. “He’s been staring at him this entire time.”
“Aww, that’s so cute! Oh! Charley! Maybe you two can get married and have a super cute wedding and adopt a whole bunch of foals together! Oh oh oh! Can I come? Can I come?”
“Can you both just shut up and leave me alone, please?” he complained. “I’m not in love with anyone. Thunderlane’s just a friend… I think. I hope anyway.” A friend who he thought was very attractive and who made him smile whenever he looked his way, just like he did now when he gave him a little wave before taking to the skies.
“Awww, you really do like him!” Pinkie Pie giggled. “And he likes you, too! That’s so cute! Did you see how he smiled at you? It was so charming!”
He was incredibly charming. He felt his heart fluttering at the thought that there was a possibility that Thunderlane liked Charley as much as Charley liked him. His smile was so nice to see, and it did nothing but make him feel happy, genuinely happy. It made absolutely no sense. Even trying to deny it, he knew he was in love, and as much as he tried not to be, he couldn’t stop it.
“I knew you’d be able to make friends! Even a big old rude meany pants like you! This is so great! It’s like the bird has left the nest and is all grown up now! I’m so proud!”
“Well don’t go taking credit,” he said sternly, scowling so he could try not to blush at how much Pinkie Pie was teasing him. “It’s not like you had anything to do with it, what with how much you run your mouth and how awful that party you threw was. Don’t act like I learned something from you.”
“You still have a lot to learn in the way of manners though, but I bet that pony you like can teach you about it! Oh! Maybe I can tell him to tell you! Then it’d be like you’re going to school when you’re trying not to smile and pretending to be all angry looking at him!”
“Yeah, well… the show’s starting, so shut up now.”
The three of them turned their attention to the skies, watching a large formation of pegasi zoom past, wind rushing in their ears as they did. They all wore the exact same uniforms, so it was hard to pick out who he was looking for, but eventually, Charley found him. He really was at the top of the formation, using a hoof to direct the ponies below and behind him, just like he said he would be. Turned out he wasn’t lying or trying to show off. He really was that good.
Charley kept his eyes firmly planted on the stallion the whole time, watching him preform tricks and direct other ponies. Thunderlane kept his eyes forward most of the time, but every once in a while, he’d glance down at Charley for a second and flash a smile his way, one that made him practically melt. He looked incredible, and was doing so amazing in the performance he put on. It was like it was a show put on for Charley specifically. 
There were a few twists and turns that he watched, Thunderlane doing a couple of impressive looking rolls and the group flying to mark out the word ‘Wonderbolts’ in the sky. They had glitter trailing behind them, in Charley’s two favorite colors, sparkling indigo and yellow, and it looked quite pretty shimmering in the sun behind them. He had to wonder if Thunderlane read his mind and intentionally made the glitter those colors.
He wanted to cheer for Thunderlane, but Charley kept his composure, settling for leaning back and smiling as he enjoyed the show. He got a few more waves and smiles from Thunderlane, although he made it out like he was waving to the audience in general. Charley knew better though, and he enjoyed the thought that Thunderlane was doing it for him specifically. It made him happy to imagine that the stallion liked him back. Not that he was in love, of course.
He smiled as Thunderlane approached, expecting the stallion to wave again and soar over his head with the formation. Instead though, Charley gasped when he was suddenly lifted into the air on Thunderlane’s back with incredible speed. He was taken aback by the suddenness of the move, but found himself laughing as he soared on the stallion’s wings. He wrapped his hooves around the pony’s neck and stretched his own wings out, imagining it was he himself who was flying.
“This is amazing!” he yelled over the wind, Thunderlane looking over his shoulder for a moment to smile at him. “I didn’t think you could fly so fast, especially carrying me! How are you able to do this?”
“It’s easier to pick up somepony when I’m moving fast,” he yelled back. The words made Charley smile in appreciation for its double meaning. Thunderlane really did pick him up, just like Charley told him not to do. He should've been angry, but instead felt happy.
“You like the view up here?” the stallion asked.
“I love it! This is amazing!” Charley said again. He closed his eyes and held tightly onto Thunderlane, who did a few sharp turns and warned him when he was going to roll. It was an exhilarating experience, like being on a roller coaster. He would pay for rides on the stallion if he could. He loved the feeling of the wind running through his mane and wing feathers, making his fur nice and cold as he held on.
The softness of Thunderlane was impressive, too. For someone who looked and acted so masculine, his fur was like a soft blanket, the chest fluff Charley felt with his hoof resembling a soft pillow. He rested his chin on the pony’s back and rubbed his muzzle a bit along Thunderlane’s neck. He smelled nice, too, a little bit salty from sweat, but kind of like… he didn’t exactly know. Wind and outdoors was the best way to describe it. It was definitely a masculine scent, that he knew.
Charley knew what he was doing, and felt completely embarrassed by his actions, but couldn’t help it. He might as well admit it. He was in love. Or, at least, had a deep crush. Love came later, not that he really knew about it. He’d never been in love with anyone, not one person. Not his wife, not the brief girlfriend he’d had before her, not an elementary school crush, no one. And yet, in less than twenty four hours, he’d fallen head over heels for somepony who he was certain would never like him back, who'd he'd be missing once the week was up.
It made him feel terrible.
He ignored that fact as best he could as Thunderlane asked, “You said you can’t fly, but you can glide. Do you think you’d be able to glide down when I tell you to? If not, I can bring you down when we finish with the show.” Charley looked behind him to see that a few other ponies who were picked up were flying to the ground now, Rumble included, jumping off from Soarin's back.
“I’m sure I can,” he replied. “The clouds are soft, right? If I fall on my face, I don’t wanna die.” It would’ve been nice to be able to hold onto him for a little longer though. He liked the feeling of his heart beating against the horse’s back.
“Yeah, the clouds are soft enough to catch you, but I don’t want you to embarrass yourself if you don’t land properly. If you think you can’t do it, I’ll let you stay up here.”
He so wanted to stay up here with Thunderlane and keep his hooves wrapped around him. It felt incredible to be able to hold onto him. But he also wanted to have some semblance of self control in the wake of him acting like a high school girl falling in love with the first boy she saw.
“I can do it,” he told him. “You just tell me when. I’m pretty sure I can glide down there. I glided down from high up before.”
“Okie dokie. The spot is coming up in a few seconds. I’ll tell you when so you don’t crash into anypony, okay?” 
“Any way I can stay up here for a longer than a few more seconds?” Charley asked, causing the stallion to laugh. “Unless it’s too much trouble for you.”
“Like it up here?” Thunderlane asked. “Or is it just me you like?” It made Charley blush red that he even asked as the stallion continued, “Sadly, no. There’s a few moves we have to do that I can’t have you on my back for. Get ready though. The spot for you to get off is coming up.”
“Let me know when.”
“It’s gonna be right… now!” Suddenly, he turned over on his back to fly upside down with the rest of the Wonderbolts, and Charley let go of his body, falling to the clouds below. He was falling faster than he expected though, and had trouble turning his body over because of the speed. His wings were open, but he was falling straight down, unable to get any leverage on his body and glide like he did before. Even if the cloud was as soft as a pillow, if he hit it dead on, this was gonna hurt.
He didn’t know how far he was from the ground, but he knew it was probably only a few seconds before he made impact when Thunderlane finally swooped down and caught him. He moved impossibly fast, almost seeming like he teleported, he was on him so quickly. It was a good thing though, seeing as Charley was caught with an inch to spare before quickly ascending again. He almost felt like it was planned with how perfectly it all went, despite the obvious danger.
“You said you could glide down, Charley!” Thunderlane laughed, staring at the stallion with those perfect, golden eyes. “If you couldn’t do it, you should’ve just told me! Unless you were just trying to get me to carry you the way I did before?” Charley loved his personality. Even in the face of danger, Thunderlane was acting confident and lighthearted and smiling at him with that amazing smile.
“Maybe I just wanted to help put on a good show, did you think of that?” Charley joked. “People like a little danger, don’t they? And a strong stallion like you is sure to catch me.”
“Well, I am pretty strong, I’ll admit that. But I’m getting kind of tired. I can’t carry you like this for too long. On my back is better.”
“I can glide down if you turn me over to be on my stomach,” Charley assured him. “I promise.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
And trust. The fact that Thunderlane trusted what he said and didn’t ask if he was sure was extremely attractive, It was something that annoyed Charley greatly whenever he heard it, and he appreciated that the stallion left the question out.
A moment later, Charley was flipped on his stomach and dropped again, this time able to glide down properly. He somersaulted when he landed, ending up on his back near the front of the bleachers next to Rumble and Pinkie Pie again, wearing a big fat smile and giggling as he watched the Wonderbolts continue to fly overhead and do their stunts.
“Wow, you almost fell to the ground, but then my brother had to swoop in and save you!” Rumble exclaimed excitedly. “You were, like, a second from hitting the ground, but Thunderlane is just too fast to let that happen! That was amazing!”
“It was exhilarating,” the stallion said breathlessly. “I wasn’t expecting him to pick me up like that, let alone fly that fast.”
“He must really like you if he grabbed you and flew you like that,” the colt continued. “Normally he only flies me around. He didn’t even fly the mare he was dating last year when she asked to be, so that means he really, really likes you.”
That thought made Charley giggle again, unable to stop himself. He loved the idea that Thunderlane liked him and treated him better than the other mares he went out with. Maybe the stallion even intentionally flew him around like that to try and get Charley to fall in love with him. He said he would try, didn’t he? Well, if he was trying, it was certainly working.
What would Death say when he saw all of this? Hopefully that this was enough. It had to be, more than enough even. He only said to make a friend, and yet here Charley was going and falling in love with the first stallion he saw. He’d probably be teased by Death for something like this once the week was up. At least this wasn’t going to be hard to do, and he didn’t have to concern himself with the act of finding somepony else to befriend. He already had who he needed right here.
“How’d I do?” Thunderlane asked a few minutes later when he finally landed, his usual confident smile plastered on his face. “I didn’t scare you too much, did I? Charley didn’t either, right?”
“That was amazing!” Rumble jabbered excitedly. “First you twisted and turned and did a roll, and then you picked up Charley and flew him around, and then when you dropped him, you caught him a second before he hit the ground, and, and– it was amazing!”
“Well somepony enjoyed the show. What about you, Charley?”
“That was great,” Charley said happily, still laughing to himself. “I loved that a lot, even if I wasn’t expecting it. That was so much fun. We should do that again.”
“Haha, maybe. That left my body completely sore though. I gotta stretch my wings out and lie down for the rest of the day after that. Let me help you up though.”
The stallion grabbed Charley with a wing, pulling him up. He was wrapped up in a surprise hug a second later, feeling Charley’s hooves wrap around him and his muzzle pressing into his neck. He could feel him breathing deeply, and his heart still pounding hard, beating against his shoulder and chest.
“That was probably the most fun I’ve had in years,” he told Thunderlane. “That was amazing. Thank you so much for that.”
“You’re welcome, and no trouble,” the stallion said coolly. Then he stretched and yawned, asking, “Wanna get some lunch?” 
“That sounds nice,” Charley nodded happily. “I could go for something to eat after all that."
God, this is feeling like I’m on a date, he couldn’t help but think. How long has it been since I’ve had one of those? Almost a decade? Lunch with him would be wonderful.
As he thought it, he pulled back to stare into Thunderlane’s beautiful eyes, able to see that warm smile that he never put down. He was getting so wrapped up in this stallion, that he knew… but maybe he kind of liked that? He’d never felt attracted to someone this intensely before, especially not this quickly, and was curious about what could happen.
He didn’t think about what he did next, and closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss the stallion. Thunderlane was thinking however, and pulled back before Charley could.
> Chapter Seven
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

God, what the fuck is wrong with me? Charley thought to himself, turning around and staring shamefully at his hooves. I’m so fucking stupid! Why did I have to go and do that? He made it clear he doesn’t like stallions!”
“You’re fine, Charley,” Thunderlane started, not a hint of embarrassment in his voice as he spoke with a light laugh. “We’ve all been there at one point or another. And those of us who haven’t will be one day. It doesn’t need to be weird.” He paused for a second before finishing, “I just don’t like stallions like that.”
I’m not even a stallion…
“But anyway,” the pegasus continued, “about lunch: there’s this place in Cloudsdale I've been wanting to try for a long time, one that serves hamburgers made from vegetables instead of hay. Wanna come with me to try that? I’ll pay, obviously.”
“I should go…”
“Hey, it’s fine,” the stallion tried to assure him, still smiling. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there. I’m not embarrassed or angry or anything if that’s what you think.”
“I shouldn’t even be here,” Charley said bitterly, not bearing to look anywhere but his hooves. “I don’t even know you, and shouldn’t be hanging around you like this.”
How he’d gotten so wrapped up in someone– somepony– he’d only known for a day, he didn’t know, but he hated himself for it. He clenched his jaw in frustration and closed his eyes, wanting to grind his hoof into the ground if not for the clouds. How could he possibly be this stupid to fall for someone like this?
“Hey, listen, Charley,” Thunderlane started, putting a wing on his shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!” he responded angrily, roughly pulling away from him. It was Thunderlane’s fault too. He openly said he was gonna try and make him fall in love with him. And it wasn’t a joke, clearly, with all the flirting he did and buying him drinks and letting him stay over at his house. And Charley just let it all happen. He went exactly down the route he didn’t want to go. He was only supposed to make friends, and yet he went and started to fall in love, and it made his cheeks go red in anger and shame.
“This is your fault, too,” he grumbled shyly, feeling a few steps away from crying. It wasn’t something he’d done particularly often, but he was close now.
“What? What do you mean?”
“I- you… nothing! Just forget it!” he turned away and stomped off, leaving he and Rumble standing there in confusion. He was feeling absolutely ashamed of himself, for letting his heart fall for someone so quickly, for the simple fact that he did like him. 
His embarrassment was only made worse by how angry he was acting after the fact. He knew Thunderlane was going to think it was because he didn't kiss back, even though that wasn't the issue. Why did he try to kiss him? Thunderlane said he didn’t like stallions. He wished he could just jump off a ledge and die.
He did exactly that, finding the nearest ledge to jump off of to the ground below, free falling through the air. He only fell for about a minute though before he stretched out his wings to glide safely down. He wasn’t going to die. That was going to happen in a few days anyway. 
In a few days, I’ll be a woman, and I’ll never have to think about Thunderlane again, he thought to himself. Thunderlane already said he was his friend, so did it really matter if he spent more time with the stallion? Probably not. He’d succeeded in his mission of making one friend, just like Death said.
And yet he still badly wanted to spend time with Thunderlane, even after that.
Why are you so wrapped up in him? he wondered to himself. He’s just another man. Sure he looks good and has a nice personality, but that’s never gotten you to fall in love so fast before. What’s the difference?
He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure he ever would.
Charley might have known how to glide, but that didn’t make him particularly good at it. He glided quickly down to the ground, unable to control his speed, and eventually landed on his stomach and face near the bench he was first picked up by Thunderlane at. It was as good a spot as any to land, he figured, and the bench would let him lay down and be depressed like he wanted to be. Depressed over something that didn’t matter, of course.
He stood up and brushed himself off, but before he could make his way to the bench, he was being knocked down onto his back again. He had a feeling he knew who it was.
“Why?” he asked angrily, looking up to see the grey mail mare on top of him. “Why do you insist on knocking me down every time you see me? Is there any way you can just not?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Charley,” she tried to apologize fearfully. “I just–”
“No! I don’t want to hear excuses! Can you just… please…”
In a second, tears were running down his cheeks as he tried to choke back sobs. How could he be crying over something so stupid? What on Earth or Equestria or any other world was wrong with him? He shouldn’t have been so emotionally caught up in someone he literally just met.
“Um, do you need a hug, Mr. Charley?” the mare asked. "You're not hurt, are you? I'm sorry. Should I get somepony to get a doctor?"
“No, I'm fine,” he said, wiping his eyes and getting control of himself a few seconds later. “And stop calling me ‘mister’. I’m just Charley.”
“Sorry.”
He brushed himself off again, finally taking his seat on the bench, letting out a breath and closing his eyes as he did. Maybe he could just sit on this bench for the rest of the week and not talk to anyone. It wasn’t like there was anything else to do. Thunderlane already said they were friends, and treated him like a friend. 
Like a friend. That was the main thing. It wasn’t Thunderlane’s fault Charley was being an idiot and trying to kiss someone who didn’t even like stallions. He said he didn’t like stallions. When he said he would make Charley fall in love with him, he was obviously joking. Anyone could see he wasn’t being serious with his flirtations. It was Charley’s fault for letting himself get wrapped up in this.
“Um, do you need somepony to talk to, Charley?” the mare suddenly asked. He opened his eyes to see her sitting right next to him, looking at him with big, sad eyes. For somepony who said she was afraid of him, she seemed remarkably concerned. Maybe this was why Death said it should’ve been easy to make friends.
“I’m fine,” he said, his voice cracking a little bit. “Just stop crashing into me, please. And let me be alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“Is it about that stallion you were watching during the show? Thunderlane?”
“Oh, come on! How do you know about that?”
“I was at the Wonderbolts show, and was gonna ask how come you were looking at him the whole time. Also, he saw me and told me to tell you he’s sorry if he made you feel bad. Which is weird because I don’t normally deliver messages like that, but there’s a first time for everything! Maybe I can become a messenger mail pony!”
“Maybe,” Charley rolled his eyes sarcastically. “It doesn’t matter though because I won’t be here for long enough for this to be a thing. I’m just being a big dumb idiot.”
A dumb, stupid, lovestruck fool, one who tried to kiss ponies who openly said multiple times they didn’t like stallions, one who let himself get caught up in the exhilaration of being flown around, who wasn’t even going to be a pony for long enough for this to matter, who knew he shouldn’t have been getting caught up in this, and was anyway. 
“That happens to lots of ponies,” she said. “Not that you’re stupid. I’m sorry. But, um, well, I like somepony named Dr. Whooves, and it took me a long time to realize he didn’t like me back. And then I cried about it. But that doesn’t make somepony stupid. A lot of the letters I deliver are ponies who love other ponies who don’t love them back. But they can still be friends. Dr. Whooves and I still are, in fact! We're best friends, even though he doesn't like me the same way.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really like him. It’s just…”
Fine. He liked Thunderlane. A lot. That didn’t mean it was okay to hang onto him and try to kiss him like he did, or wrap his hooves around him and smell his neck while they flew, or stare at him during the show. All those things were just making how he felt more intense, and probably making Thunderlane feel bad. He should’ve been trying to go the opposite route and not get caught up in him. What came over him during the show, he didn’t know, but he wouldn’t let it come over him again if he could help it.
“Can you just leave me alone now, please?” he asked. “I don’t wanna talk about this.”
“I’ll go now,” she said. “I’m sorry for crashing into you, Mr. Charley.” 
“Please don’t do that again either. If you need glasses, get them or just fly slower. And also, I'm not a mister. It's just Charley.”
“I’ll try. I’m sorry.”
She left with that, flying off back to Cloudsdale presumably. It left Charley to lay alone by himself on the bench all afternoon. He passed the entire day away, the sun setting over the horizon after a while. What kind of day was that? Three full days were gone, all three just being completely wasted on nothing. 
Well, not entirely nothing last night and this morning. It was such a nice time, being able to hold onto Thunderlane like that, and talking with him and looking at the stars the night before. And it wasn’t like he asked for those things. Thunderlane was the one who offered. Not even that in some cases, just picking him up out of the blue and flying him around. Not to mention, the stallion didn’t seem that mad about it, either when he held him while they flew or when he tried to kiss him. In fact, he laughed like it was a joke. It didn’t make it okay for Charley to do, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t having a nice time before.
Still though, he knew he needed to remove himself from the stallion and find a different pony to befriend. He was pretty sure he’d already completed the requirements for friendship Death gave to him, but just in case he didn’t, he wanted to find someone else. A mare, ideally, so there’d be no chance of him falling in love. He’d only known Thunderlane for a day, but if he continued to spend time with him, his attraction would only increase and start to make it painful to think about having to leave after the week was up. He didn’t want to get to a point where, if Death offered, he had to chose between being a man with Thunderlane or a woman alone.
Yeah, right. Like one day really counts as friends. You still barely know him.
He had four more days to make a new friend and forget about Thunderlane. He could do it. And he would. He would do it, even if it still made his heart flutter to think about the stallion smiling at him.
He laid on the bench, looking at the stars, just as he did the night before, when all of a sudden, a familiar, handsome black pegasus was floating above him, his wings flapping up and down gracefully. He was still wearing that Wonderbolts uniform that showed off his physique, and still had those beautiful golden eyes. He sent down that smile that made Charley’s heart melt and smile against his will. When Charley realized he was though, he turned away.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, the joking tone in his voice clear. He obviously thought what happened earlier was nothing, which made Charley feel a little bit better. He wasn’t in the mood for a drink though.
“Can I just be left alone?” he asked. “I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.”
He could practically hear Thunderlane frown at that, and turned to see him floating down to sit next to him on the bench.
“I didn’t mean to, like, play with your emotions,” the stallion apologized softly. “It probably feels like I was leading you on, and that wasn’t my intention. I just thought it was all in good fun, because we both said we don’t like stallions. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, that was a lie,” he sighed. “I don’t even know why I try to convince myself I don’t.” He grumbled to himself angrily. Maybe it was an attempt to try and appear more normal, at least to himself. That he was just the same as everyone else. It was just as futile as trying to convince himself he was a man, or that he could actually find another friend to make in the next four days when he sucked at interacting with people.
“I’ve literally never liked one other person like this though,” he grumbled, looking up and practically glaring at the stallion next to him, almost annoyed with Thunderlane because of how he felt. “Not even my ex-wife. No one.”
“Haha, I’ve had a whole lot of mares tell me that, more than I can count,” the stallion laughed. “A few stallions, too, apparently. Honestly, I don’t get what ponies see in me.”
Maybe it’s the fact that you’re the most attractive man I've ever seen in my life, he thought. That, and how cool and calm and confident he was, and the faint smell of sweat and wind he gave off, and the fact that he was still staring at him with those amazing, soul piercing golden eyes. 
The way Thunderlane said the words, too– it seemed like he genuinely didn’t know what ponies saw in him. Could he really be that clueless? If he was, then that was saying something, because as clueless as Charley knew he was, he wasn’t this clueless. Not that anyone ever saw anything in him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here.
“Well, I don’t know what I see in you either,” he lied, “but I hate that I do see something. So just… I don’t know, stop existing?”
“I will try to stop being as charming as I am,” Thunderlane offered, mostly joking as he smiled down at the stallion. It made Charley blush and turn away, his normal scowl reforming. 
“For real though,” he started, being more serious now, “I’ll stop flirting with you if it’s hurting you and making you upset. I don’t want to come across that way. I just like flirting with ponies, even if they're the same gender as I am. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather be left alone.” He didn’t want to be anywhere near the stallion for the rest of the week if he could help it. He severely hated how much he liked this stallion, how he was making him do things Charley would never do. He would never reach out for a kiss like that to anyone, or slip up the way he did in front of Rumble. 
“I appreciate your hospitality, but I’d rather not be near someone who’s rotting my brain with all this fucking romantic comedy shit.”
“Well, I can’t let you stay out here, I’m making that clear,” Thunderlane asserted. “If you don’t have a place to stay, I’m not letting you sleep outside… wait, you said Pinkie Pie would let you stay with her, right?”
Charley rolled his eyes at that. He’d rather keep being in the middle of this romantic comedy Death set up for him than spend a night with her. He was probably looking down at him and laughing at his choices. Find Pinkie Pie and get a migraine from her talking his ear off all night, spend the night outside in the cold, or be awkward around a stallion he liked who didn’t like him back.
Well… at least Thunderlane is good looking… 
“Fine, but don’t, like… flirt with me and stuff or try to do things that make me like you. It’s gonna hurt if you act like that.” He could feel the tears building up, but pushed them back and forced himself to keep his emotions in check.
“I promise, I’ll try my best not to do those things,” Thunderlane assured him. “Pinkie Promise, in fact. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“What the hell is a Pinkie Promise?”
“It’s a promise you never break with anypony, ever, no matter what. It’s how you know I’m serious about not wanting to hurt you like that. You don’t want to know what Pinkie Pie does to ponies who break Pinkie Promises.”
“Whatever. Let’s just go… god damnit, I still can’t fly.”
“I can carry you up again,” he said. “I’d teach you how to fly right now, but I’m completely worn out from the show and carrying you from earlier. Tomorrow would be a better day for that.”
He so wanted to learn how to fly. Or rather, he wanted Thunderlane to teach him how to fly. However, he knew he was just gonna get more wrapped up into how he felt about him, and he didn’t like the idea of that. He already knew he was gonna be a completely lovestruck idiot if he did do that with Thunderlane tomorrow, and didn’t know what to do about it.
He sighed and decided to let it be a problem for tomorrow. For now, he watched Thunderlane get off the bench and bend down and stretch his wings so Charley could climb on his back. As much as he didn’t want to, he wrapped his hooves around the pony and climbed on, doing his best to not grip too tightly or rest his head on his neck as they lifted into the air.
“I’m sorry if this is awkward for you,” Thunderlane apologized. “This might take a little while though. I am so worn out… Wanna find a place to eat? I know you haven’t had any lunch or dinner at all.”
“Sure, as long as it’s a fast food place or something.” He didn’t want something fancy where he would sit down and be treated to an expensive meal, as nice as it sounded.
“There’s a Hayburger in Cloudsdale. I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten there, but we can go there.”
“I haven’t, but sure.”
The conversation ended with that, both staying silent as Charley was quietly carried by the stallion back into the clouds. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how peaceful and nice this was. It shouldn’t have been making him feel so nice and happy to hold onto him like this. He could feel the muscles of the stallion under his Wonderbolts uniform, feel his own long mane brushing into Thunderlane’s a bit. He couldn’t help but imagine he was a lady being carried on her boyfriend’s back, a thought he tried to get out of his head.
He got more of the smell of sweat now, the stallion likely having not showered yet after his performance, but it wasn’t bad like it would be on someone else. It was strong enough to combine well with his normal smell– a smell he now identified as something piquancy– but not nearly enough to be just disgusting and nasty like sweat usually was. It made him want to wrap his hooves around Thunderlane tighter and inhale deeply to take in every single ounce of the smell he could.
He forced himself not to do that, despising himself for even thinking that. He needed to jump off of Thunderlane’s back right now and find somepony else to be with. His time with the stallion would end eventually. Whether it was right now or more painfully a few days from now though was to be determined.
He didn’t jump off, staying on for the whole ride to a place called Hayburger. It was not a place that smelled particularly appetizing, Charley mostly getting the smell of hay and the dumpster behind the restaurant as he approached. He wished he would’ve asked Thunderlane if they could eat at his house, this place reminding him of a typical McDonald's back on Earth.
“I don’t eat here a lot because Hayburger isn’t very good, or good for you for that matter,” the pegasus explained, “but, I mean, it’s fast food.”
“It smells nasty,” Charley got out. “But whatever. Here’s fine, I guess.”
“We can find something else if you want.”
“It’s fine, we’ll eat here.”
Charley marched right in, Thunderlane following behind him up to the counter to order their food as Charley sat down. A few seconds later, Thunderlane was sitting across from him again, watching as Charley put his head on the table and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look at him if he didn’t have to. He needed to have some sort of self control in the presence of this pony.
Maybe I could try to make friends with Pinkie Pie or that mail mare again, he thought. It was an idea. He certainly wasn’t going to be falling in love with either of them any time soon, and he was sure a simple apology would be enough to suffice and make them less angry with him, if they even still were. They didn’t seem like they were. If he stopped being an ass and put in actual effort, maybe he could–
“Hey, can I admit something to you?” the stallion in front of him suddenly started, interrupting his thoughts.
“Hmm?” Charley looked up at Thunderlane with curious eyes, wondering what he was going to say. He watched the stallion open his mouth, but didn’t hear any words come out, Thunderlane seeming like he was at a loss for what to say. It made Charley tilt his head in curiosity.
“Nothing,” he finished after a few seconds of no words spoken, looking away awkwardly. “Let me see if our food is ready.” He wasn’t even smiling, seeming like he was uncomfortable. It was surprising to see. Charley hadn’t known the stallion for very long, but in the little time he did, he didn’t seem like he was uncomfortable even once. Hell, he had out and out tried to kiss Thunderlane, and even then, he didn’t look uncomfortable like he did now. It was surprising, and had Charley completely confused, as well as a bit concerned.
He couldn’t help but think he was going to come back and say that he was right and he should just be alone because he made things too uncomfortable. Or maybe he’d be polite about it and say he didn’t want to keep hurting Charley. He could see Thunderlane feeling that way, not wanting to make him feel bad, as though it was his fault Charley was the biggest idiot of all time and moved in like that.
The stallion didn’t say anything as he sat back down in front of him, staring at their tray of food for a long moment, practically glaring at it.
“Are you okay?” Charley had to ask. “Like I said, I should probably just go if I’m making you uncomfortable. I’m sorry I made everything as awkward as hell.”
“Huh? Oh, I’m fine, sorry.” He quickly shook his head and put his classic confident smile back on. “I was just thinking about what kind of grease this food has in it and how bad it’s gonna be for me. Also, you told me last night you told me you cursed out Pinkie Pie and the mail mare, right? I think you should apologize to them as soon as you can. If you’re not gonna be here that long like Pinkie Pie told me, you aren’t gonna wanna leave relationships on bad terms.”
“Ugh. God, those two are annoying. You know the grey one crashed into me a few hours ago again? That has to be the sixth or seventh time in the last three days. It’s fucking annoying.”
“I know I joked about it before, but she really does have an eyesight problem, and poor coordination at that. You should cut her a little bit of slack if you can, especially with how sensitive she can be.”
“Well if she needs glasses–”
“It’s not a glasses problem. It’s an actual eyesight problem. You know how one of them looks lazy? Well, they actually both are. I don’t know much about it, but I’m pretty sure if anyone else had eyes like that, it’d be impossible for them to just do normal everyday tasks, let alone deliver mail every single day. It’s impressive, honestly.”
“Yeah, well… if it hasn’t been obvious, I’m not a people person, and I barely know how to interact with anyone. It should be no surprise when I go and fuck up relationships.” Not that he really cared to learn how to, since he didn’t like people. Or ponies for that matter, outside of one.
Thunderlane laughed a little bit at that. “I’ve noticed,” he said. “But you should apologize anyway. If you’re trying to make friends, it’d be an easy way to make friends with both of them. Then, at least, when you decide you’re sick of being with me, you’ll have a place to stay if you needed it.”
Thunderlane was definitely trying to manipulate him. Maybe that was the whole plan. He heard about how he cursed out Pinkie Pie and moved in to try and manipulate him into apologizing. He wouldn’t have been surprised, since Charley himself was trying to manipulate the stallion into being his friend so he could get out of here. Of course, that was until Thunderlane made him fall in love with him.
Can you get the idea that he’s manipulating you out of your head? Charley told himself. He’s just trying to make sure you be nice because that’s who he is, if you haven’t noticed. He’s just a genuinely nice person.
He wished the pony weren’t so nice. If he were more annoying or if his charmingness came off as arrogant, then maybe he wouldn’t be in the position he was in now.
“I’ll try,” he said flatly. “I won’t make a promise though, but I’ll try. Anyway, can we eat and talk about something else? I'm so sick of thinking about everything.”
> Chapter Eight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a nice conversation the two of them had, and helped to get Charley’s mind clearer. Thunderlane told him a little bit about his foalhood, something Charley passed on when he was asked about it, before the two moved on to the ponies he talked to in Ponyville and the show Thunderlane put on for Cloudsdale. He explained how he was one of the lead choreographers for the whole show, something that impressed Charley with how well the routine went. He also explained how he was next in line to be Captain after their current leader retired. He smiled the whole time he talked, something Charley had to try and look away from because of how much it made him want to melt when he saw it.
“That all sounds very impressive,” he said politely, trying to pretend to be interested. He was more than he would be if it were someone else talking to him at least.
“I guess that means you’ll do a good job when you teach me to fly tomorrow,” he continued.
“Only the best job,” the stallion said smugly. “You’re gonna be a pro by the time I’m done with you. Speaking of which, we should probably head back home and get to bed. I wanna be up bright and early to teach you.”
“I don’t know about bright and early, but I guess that sounds fine. Sleep would be good, too, especially after a day like today.”
A day where he spent his whole time awake on an emotional roller coaster. He hated how much he liked Thunderlane, but knew there was nothing he could do about it. Unless he wanted to stay with Pinkie, he’d be staying with the stallion, since Thunderlane wouldn’t have him sleeping on a bench. That meant more time would be spent with him and more feeling would be developed. It made Charley nervous to think about.
Eventually, the time for the two of them to leave came, and they went back to Thunderlane’s house, the stallion quickly hopping into the shower as Charley just trudged off to bed. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget about today, forget how nice of a time he was having spending time with him, forget that he tried to kiss that stupid horse. He wondered different the day would be if he kissed back, but decided if it was, it wouldn't be by much. Charley would probably be upset with him because he specifically said he didn’t want to be picked up like he was. If Thunderlane kissed back, that would’ve made it certain he was only trying to pick him up.
It would’ve been nice though, he couldn’t help but think. He only likes mares. It would be nice to be treated like one.
He closed his eyes and tried to relax and fall asleep, a task that was much more difficult tonight than previously. Thoughts of Thunderlane swirled in his head, of the stupid move Charley tried to make on him, of the smile the stallion always sent his way. Eventually, he was able to, and he dreamed again tonight.
He was once again in front of Death, Charley looking as pretty as he always wanted to be, a portal to someplace else open before him. He couldn’t describe exactly what it was, other than a place of light and color and music, and took a step forward to head through. Before he could though, a familiar voice spoke up.
“Charley?” Thunderlane asked, suddenly appearing behind him. “You’re really leaving?” His coat glistened especially so right then, his eyes sparkling like stars. He had a sad look on his face as he tilted his head in confusion, sending a look his way that simultaneously made his heart flutter and become wracked with guilt.
“I thought you liked me,” the stallion continued, hanging his head low, a move that made Charley’s cheeks become flushed. “You’re not staying here with me?”
“I- you- I c-can’t,” Charley stuttered. “I told you I would only be here for a week. And you said you don’t like stallions.”
“You don’t look like a stallion to me though,” Thunderlane replied, taking his hand with a hoof. He watched it change back into a hoof, and slowly turn the rest of his body back into the pegasus he was around Thunderlane.
“You look like the most beautiful mare in the world to me,” the stallion continued, wearing that confident smile he always did. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts anyway.”
“No it’s not!” Charley suddenly yelled, jerking his hoof away and watching it quickly turn back into the small, soft hand he had before. “What’s on the inside doesn’t count because the outside still hurts!” he said angrily. “What’s on the inside doesn’t change that!”
The stallion dropped his head again. “But I thought we were going to fly together…” He looked down at his hooves, then up into Charley’s eyes.
He put his face in his hands and screamed. How was this happening? He wanted to avoid this exact situation. He didn’t want to put himself in a position to choose between himself and Thunderlane, but if his dreams were any indication, he was barreling straight toward this scenario. Why couldn’t he have just tried to act better and make friends with Pinkie Pie or that mail mare?
“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?” the stallion asked sadly. “When this is all over, you’ll stay with me? You know I like spending time with you and being around you…” He moved up to lean against him, wrapping a wing around Charley. It caused him to slowly start to change again back into the pegasus.
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I really don’t know. That’s such a hard choice. You can’t give me a decision like that because I like you too much.” He had to take a breath as he shivered.
“What’s hard about it?” the stallion suddenly laughed. “It’s an easy question. What do you want for breakfast?”
“Huh?”
“Oh, can it be pancakes? No! Waffles! Can we have waffles? Please?”
“It’s not your choice, sport. It’s Charley’s.”
He slowly blinked his eyes open to see Thunderlane and Rumble standing in his room, looking at him expectantly for his choice of morning meal. He yawned and stretched his hooves, muttering quickly that he didn’t really care what they had.
“Well if you don’t care, then it’s gonna be eggs and beans and hashbrowns and toast. You’re gonna need the protein and carbs for today. I plan to have you soaring through the skies by sunset.”
“I’ll trust you up on that,” Charley said tiredly. “Just so long as you don’t crash into me or give me bad advice like that other pony did.”
“Speaking of other ponies,” he said, “once you can fly, the first place we’re heading to is Ponyville so you can apologize to those two.”
“You were being serious about that?”
“Absolutely. Now get up and get stretched out. I want you to be ready to fly right after breakfast.”
He did exactly that, hopping out of bed and stretching his wings out again before making his way to the living room for breakfast. He wasn’t really a breakfast person, normally opting to just head into work, but took it anyway. If what Thunderlane said was true, then he expected to be worn out by the end of the day.
A while later, the two were outside, standing on the clouds, Thunderlane in front of Charley, going through what he should be doing.
“So very first,” he explained, “is that you want to be confident. If you don’t have confidence you can fly, it’s never gonna happen. Do you believe in yourself, Charley?”
“I guess.”
“Aw, come on, you can do better than that! Do you believe in yourself?”
“I’m not gonna yell it if that’s what you’re looking for. But yeah, I’m confident in myself. I have wings and I glided after all, right?”
“That’s good, but you need to have supreme confidence in your ability,” the stallion smiled. “I’d ask you again, but I feel like I’d just get the same response. But don’t worry. I’ll have you screaming by the end of the day.”
That little comment made Charley’s cheeks go hot red, but he didn’t say anything about it. It was just another one of the little things Thunderlane did and said that made him certain he was trying to make him fall in love on purpose. He had to look away before Thunderlane could see how embarrassed he was.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean for that to come off that way.”
“Whatever. Can we just get on with this?”
“Sure. Start by just flapping your wings up and down. I’d like to see how your motion is and correct anything if it’s needed.”
He did as he was told, flapping them up and down while the stallion walked around him. He had a look of confusion on his face as he watched Charley, one that made Charley wonder what he was screwing up.
“Is that how you naturally flap them?” Thunderlane asked.
“Uh, yeah. Am I doing it wrong?”
“Not wrong necessarily,” he explained. “You have good motion, and you lift them all the way up and down from your sides to above your head properly. The only thing that’s throwing me off is why you’re flapping them like a mare.”
“How am I flapping them like a mare?” he asked. “How is there a difference at all?”
“See how the tips of my wings stay perfectly in line with the base of the wing as I flap?” Thunderlane demonstrated. “Mares when they flap their wings curl their wings like you were because their bodies are lighter and it resists the wind much less that way. Stallions can’t do that though because our bodies are heavier, so we need more force under us when we flap to get us off the ground.”
“Okay, well, I didn’t know that.”
“Most ponies don’t because it’s just an inherent part of being a pegasus. Your body should just know what to do. Mostly we only have to explain that to mares when they join the Wonderbolts so they can put more force into their flying, or stallions when they go to dancing school to fly more gracefully. Is that your instinct to flap that way?”
“Uh, yeah…” Charley answered, feeling incredibly shy. He could make a good guess as to why he was doing it differently.
“Huh. That’s interesting. Maybe you’re secretly a mare and we just didn’t know it,” Thunderlane chuckled. The comment made Charley blush again and scowl angrily.
“I told you not to joke about that,” he said quickly, staring down at his hooves. “I don’t want to hear jokes like that at all.”
“You’re right, you did. I’m sorry. Anyway, I can teach you how to flap like a stallion, or if you want, you can just try flying using how you flap now. The technique is good enough, even if you’re a stallion. There’s no reason it shouldn’t work. It’ll just be harder to lift yourself off the ground.”
“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do. You’re supposed to be the teacher,” Charley said.
“Well, I guess we’ll try this for a while, and if you’re not able to get it, I’ll teach you how to do it like a stallion. Just remember to kick off the ground at first. It’s gonna be hard to start flying if you never have before.”
He kicked off the ground like Thunderlane said. Over and over again. And yet, over and over again, nothing happened except Charley flapping his wings like an idiot and getting more frustrated. After an hour or so of this, Thunderlane tried to teach him how to flap his wings like a stallion, but that seemed even less successful, if it was possible to be. No matter what he did, he couldn’t keep his wings straight like Thunderlane’s for more than a minute at a time, despite constant assurances that it was easy and he was doing great. He couldn’t see how anyone could fly like that, let alone do it naturally.
“Ugh, this is impossible,” Charley said frustratedly. “I’m not gonna get it because I just suck at this.”
“Remember how I said you needed to believe in yourself? Wavering confidence isn’t going to help you. You have to keep that belief up, even when it’s hard.”
“That’s kind of hard to do when I can’t get it down at all. Flapping my wings like this feels contrary to what my brain wants to do.”
“It takes a lot of mares in the Wonderbolts weeks to change how they want to flap their wings. It’s not an easy thing to do, so I’m not surprised you can’t get it yet. Not that I’m saying you’re a mare, of course. But anyway, why don’t we take a break for now?”
Charley sighed and flopped down onto the soft cloud ground, turning over to his back to stare at the sky. Thunderlane copied his move and laid right next to him.
“This is gonna take more than a day,” Charley said. “I’d temper your expectations for me if I was you.”
“I said a day, and we’ll do it in a day,” Thunderlane assured him. “I have an idea for how to get you into the groove of it. But I’ll tell you about that after this break.”
Charley sighed again and looked away at that. “Why are you even doing this? You already said you don’t like me, and this has to be awkward for you. At the very least, it’s just gonna be harder to leave when I have to.”
“Where exactly are you leaving to?” the stallion asked, raising an eyebrow. “You said a few times you’d leave by the end of the week, but where are you going?”
“That’s the longest story of all time and one I’m not interested in getting into. Now answer my question.”
“I mean, I like you,” the stallion told him, speaking a bit more quickly than normal. “I just d-don’t like stallions like you do.” He sounded a bit flustered as he said it, and took a moment to take a breath to gather himself. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and I can’t teach you how to fly.” He sent a smile Charley’s way, although this one looked a little more embarrassed than usual.
“Okay… why are you stuttering though?” Charley had to ask. It wasn’t like him to do in the few days he’d known the stallion.
“It’s nothing,” the stallion said quickly. “I was just thinking about something and got words caught on my tongue.” He paused for a second as he stood up and rubbed a hoof behind his head embarrassedly. “Did you want to keep resting, or get back into it now?”
“We can start again,” Charley said, standing up and brushing himself off. He was still thinking of Thunderlane’s stutter as the two got back to work, Charley flapping his wings like the stallion directed as best he could. He couldn’t help but imagine that Thunderlane not only didn’t like him the way Charley did, but didn’t like him at all. He wouldn’t have been surprised. It certainly wasn’t the first time someone didn’t like him. It might be more painful to hear, however.
“I have an idea,” Thunderlane suggested, bending down. “Climb on my back.”
“Why?” Charley asked, not that he was opposed to the idea, even if it would make it harder in the future to detach himself from the stallion.
“Just do it!” the stallion laughed, lowering his head and waiting patiently for Charley. He made a show of rolling his eyes and sighing as he climbed on, laying down flat on the pegasus.
“And now stretch your wings out,” the stallion instructed, Charley doing as he said. Once he did, Thunderlane stretched out his own and settled them under Charley’s, a move that made the latter gasp and shiver. The undersides of his wings were sensitive.
“What is it?” he asked. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“N-no, I’m fine. But why are we like this?”
“You’re gonna rest your wings on mine so they can copy my motion,” Thunderlane explained. “And then after a while, you should be able to get it down.”
He was lifted into the air, his wings forced to follow Thunderlane’s flapping as he was. It felt weird to do it the way he instructed, but he let it be done, trying to actually move his wings with Thunderlane rather than just letting them rest. He figured that would make it easier.
As he did, he couldn’t help but let out little breaths and shiver every so often at the feeling of Thunderlane’s feathers rubbing against his wings. He had to know this was distracting Charley. There was no way he couldn’t. It only made him more confused as to why he stuttered earlier. If he didn’t like him, why was he still doing this? What was his agenda?
They worked on the motion for a long time, just going slowly up and down as Thunderlane floated them in the air. It was a nice, relaxing motion, one that would make Charley fall asleep if not for the sensitivity he felt. He tried not to imagine this being a romantic gesture.
He focused on moving his wings like Thunderlane did, breathing slowly and deeply as he did. He said he had to be confident, and confident he would be. He could do this.
The stallion he laid on seemed to sense this, and asked, “Think you’re ready? I’ll float on down if you are.”
“I can do it,” Charley assured him confidently. “No sweat.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” the stallion smiled. “I’m gonna move away now. Keep on flapping when I do.”
He did as he said he would do, carefully moving his body down as Charley flapped his wings in the air. He wasn’t able to keep his spot in the air, slowly sinking down as though in a vat of thick liquid. Still, he was moving down slower than Thunderlane was, so that must have been a good thing.
“You’re doing good!” Thunderlane called, now a few dozen feet below his friend. “Try and put more air under you though! You’re gonna need to build up strength and stamina to be able to fly for long periods of time.”
He figured as much, and tried to push down his wings more forcefully with each flap to get air under him like Thunderlane said. He felt like he wasn’t getting any higher though, although he did notice his slow sinking through the air was slowing down. Not quite flying yet, but closer.
“Just stay focused! You can do it, as long as you don’t freak out!”
Yeah right. Like he’d do that. He knew that much just from learning how to swim. This felt like about the same thing, except with ten times more work. It was such a struggle to keep flapping his wings, especially the way he was now, and he was quickly getting tired. 
“I don’t know how long I can keep this up,” Charley said a bit breathlessly.
“Just keep going! You’ve almost got it!” Thunderlane encouraged. He flashed a smile up at Charley that made him want to keep going, even with as tired as he was getting. He realized Thunderlane could probably convince him into committing murder with that smile and how nice it was to see.
“If you want to change your flapping style back to what you were doing originally, you can,” the stallion suggested. “It might be easier for you if it comes so naturally.”
He took his advice and started to flap his wings the way he did before. He put the cheek burning thought that he was flying like a mare aside as he let his wings flap more comfortably. A second later, he watched himself start to rise into the sky more.
“Whoa! Hey! I’m actually doing it!” he exclaimed, looking at a cloud next to him to make sure he was indeed moving up. Sure enough, the cloud was below him eventually enough. It was extremely slowly, but he was technically flying.
“I really am doing it! I’m flying!”
“Yes you are!” Thunderlane said happily quickly making his way up to him. “I told you it’d be before the end of the day. We got that before we ate lunch even!”
Charley laughed at the thought of what he was doing. He was a bird horse flying in the clouds with another bird horse who taught him how to. And all of this was after he ate fish and toast and baked beans and watched him preform a show yesterday, and went out for drinks with him the day before. If he would’ve been told this would be his life a few days ago, he would've thought the person who told him was crazy. And yet here he was, somehow. How this could be real life, he didn’t know, but he loved it.
He turned to Thunderlane as he smiled, watching him smile back proudly and caught the sight of those beautiful eyes again. Flying was nice, but more than that was seeing how proud Thunderlane looked. He knew he shouldn’t have been entertaining this. It was just going to make him more caught up in the stallion than he was already, but Charley couldn’t help it. He knew he was in love.
“I need a rest,” he said after what felt like a long while but was really only a few seconds. “This is completely wearing me out.”
The two descended with that, Thunderlane explaining that all he had to do was flap his wings more slowly and with less force to lower himself properly. It wasn’t as easy as all that, Charley nearly falling to the ground near the end, but luckily the black pegasus was there to catch him. He tried not to think about how he was spending a lot of time in Thunderlane’s hooves and on his back.
“So now I know how to fly,” Charley smiled. “Well, kinda. I know how to flap my wings and fly higher, but not more than that.”
“If you can already glide, then you basically know everything there is to know for the basics. I mean, it’ll take a lot of practice to get good, but I didn’t promise you’d get good in a day.”
“No you didn’t. But that was an interesting experience. Now I just need to figure out how to be able to kick off the ground and fly myself.” Charley stretched as he continued, “But not right now. Right now, I want lunch. What do we have to eat?”
“I was thinking more fish, but you didn’t like how I cooked it last time, so whatever you want is fine.”
There’s no way he’s not doing this on purpose, Charley thought as he blushed. All of this can’t just be him being nice. He has to be trying to manipulate you.
“I can… show you how to cook it correctly if you want me to,” Charley offered embarrassedly, knowing it was against his best interest. “If you want me to, I mean. I’d just prefer you not mess it up again.”
“You d-don’t have to do that if you don’t want to,” Thunderlane told him quickly. “I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do.”
And he stuttered again. Maybe he really is just trying to be nice and I’m just making him uncomfortable offering things like that. Bur if he doesn’t like me, why is he doing this? God, why am I so obsessed with him?
“Well, if you say so,” Charley responded, letting out a breath as his ears flattened against his head. “Sorry I offered.”
“Is something wrong?” the stallion asked. “I wasn’t trying to offend you. You just said before that you didn’t like cooking, so I assumed you didn’t want to do it.”
It’s just another thing in the long list that’s everything, he thought to himself, almost saying such aloud. He stopped himself though, replying, “It’s nothing. Let’s find something for lunch.”
> Chapter Nine
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They cooked the fish worse at this place than you did,” Charley complained as he tasted his plate of food. “Does no one know how to cook fish right? It’s not that hard.”
“Maybe you’re just a picky pony, have you considered that?” Thunderlane smiled. “But I guess you have to be when you’re an amazing chef like you are, don’t you?”
“I’m not even picky! I just like having my food cooked correctly, and no one can seem to do it!”
“Well, I’ll eat it for you and get you something else if you want,” Thunderlane offered, only half joking.
“It’s fine, I guess,” Charley grumbled. “I just wish these ponies could get it right.”
The two were sitting in a restaurant close to where they were practicing, one that was filled to the brim with ponies. It annoyed Charley how long it took them to be seated and have their order taken and get their food out to them, but he expected it to be worth it since Thunderlane said this was his favorite place to eat. So far, it wasn’t up to snuff.
“I’d really like to see how you cook a piece of fish if nopony can do it right,” the stallion laughed. “But I guess chefs like you are meant to be picky, since you know better, right?”
“I do know better, but that doesn’t mean I like cooking. Anyway, I guess I’ll just settle.”
The two ate in peace and quiet for a minute before a thought suddenly came to Charley.
“Hey, Thunderlane, I have a question. How old are you?”
“Me? I’m eighteen.”
“Oh god.” Charley immediately stood up worriedly and turned his head away from the pegasus. “I gotta go. I can’t be here.”
“Whoa, I’m just kidding!” Thunderlane laughed. “I’m twenty seven. That was just a joke.”
“Oh fuck, thank you,” Charley sighed in relief, carefully sitting back down. “And don’t scare me like that! That wasn’t a funny joke.” The stallion pouted and crossed his arms.
“It was a little funny, you have to admit,” Thunderlane said with a smile. It only made Charley frown harder and look away shamefully. That had to be emotional manipulation.
“Anyway, how old are you then, Charley?” he asked.
He grumbled and didn’t say anything for a minute before finally answering, “Thirty two.”
“Oh wow, that puts us in the same age range! Not that, uh..” He cleared his throat and looked slightly embarrassed.
“What?”
“N-nothing. We should probably finish our food so we can get back to it. We don’t have a whole day to waste!”
“Wait, no, it’s not nothing,” Charley insisted, looking at him for an explanation. “You’re stuttering and you seem embarrassed, and I want to know what’s going on.”
“It’s really nothing,” Thunderlane said nervously, rubbing a hoof behind his head. It was so unlike him to be nervous like this. What was going on?
“I’ll tell you about it later,” he continued. “I promise.”
“No, tell me now,” Charley demanded. “If you don’t like me, then I want to know. Then I can know that being around you is just a big waste of time. It’s not like you’d be the first one to say you hate me.”
Thunderlane sighed and looked down at the table, trying to think of what to say. Charley looked at him expectantly, wearing a scowl but feeling worried. He didn’t normally care about people who didn’t like him, but right now, he very much did.
“I just– I want to preface what I’m about to say by starting with the fact that I’m not gay,” he said. “I am absolutely not gay, not at all.”
“Okay? So? I know that already, and asked you to stop flirting with me because… you know.”
“Yeah, well,” he started again, taking a breath. “I… kind of like you a little bit, too,” he said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the table. It was a sentence that sent a wave of happiness coursing through Charley. It was the very last thing he ever expected to hear, and his lips automatically turned up in a smile because of it. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone said they liked him. Maybe his ex wife years ago?
“What about me is it that you like?” he had to ask.
“I don’t know! Just… the way you’re trying to act like you don’t like me and how you come off as kind of abrasive and how you try to hide your smile whenever I smile. Like, you’re obviously into me, and it’s… I don’t want to say hot, but that’s probably the best word for it. I like how you try to pretend you’re not into me when you obviously are.”
By the time he finished, Charley had his head on the table, his wings being used to cover his face. Somehow, he didn’t think he was being quite so obvious about how he felt, a ridiculous thought, he knew, since he flat out tried to kiss him before. He wanted to fall out of his chair and die of shame.
He peeked between his feathers to see Thunderlane looking back up at him, trying to portray confidence. 
“I’ve never liked one stallion,” he said kind of shyly. “Not one. And when I went and asked you to have drinks with me, it wasn’t because I liked you like that, because I’m not gay. I swear I’m not. But like, this is messing with my head because I do like you and you act kind of like a mare and it’s all just weird!” He ruffled his feathers as he finished, seeming flustered to Charley. Not that he could blame him.
“I really wasn’t trying to take you out like that, I promise,” Thunderlane tried to assure him. “But this has just been messing with my head for a little while, more and more the longer I’m around you.”
“How– how do I act like a mare?” Charley asked, exasperated. “Why does everypony say that? How in the world do I act like one?” His cheeks were bright red, and he could almost feel the direction this conversation was going.
“It’s just the way you flap your wings and kind of how you walk and the way you kind of giggle when you laugh and how you tilt your head when you’re confused. You just act like a mare, and it’s throwing me off.”
Was it really that obvious? The fact made Charley’s ears flatten, even more embarrassed now than he was before, even more so because it wasn’t something he could help. He knew exactly the reason why.
“Sorry. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I want to be honest. That’s just how I feel.”
Charley wanted to say something, but instead, kept his eyes on the table and his food. Was this just something that everyone always thought? It couldn’t have been that obvious. 
“Can I ask why that upsets you? A lot of stallions act super feminine. Except I guess that it’s not even the case with you. You don’t really act feminine. You just act like a mare.”
He wished he could just die instead of have this conversation. He might as well say it though, since everyone clearly already knew. 
“I– ugh,” he grumbled, his face still bright red, not bearing to look at the stallion. “I guess I’m just… acting like what I am.” If he could just flop down dead right there, he would have, he was so embarrassed.  
“Huh? What?”
“Ugh. Do I really have to say it? You basically spelled it out yourself.”
“I don’t understand what– wait, are you saying you’re a trans mare?” The response Thunderlane got was a grumble and a ruffle of Charley’s wings, who looked away angrily.
“Oh, phew!” Thunderlane wiped his forehead with a hoof as he smiled again, visibly relaxing. “That’s a relief. I was really thinking I might have to question my entire identity because of you, but it turns out you're just a mare.” He let out a relieved breath as he asked, “Did you want me to call you a mare?”
“God, no,” Charley said quickly, rolling his eyes. “I don’t look like a mare, so I don’t want to be called one.” It shouldn’t have made him so happy to hear himself called ‘just a mare’, to hear Thunderlane sigh in relief because of that fact.
“Really? Why not? You already act like one, anyway.”
“I don’t want to talk about this…” he sighed, very much wanting to roll over and die of embarrassment. 
“So wait: why didn’t you say before you were a trans mare? I mean, I understand why, and you kind of said it when you said you were not gay, but why not say something to begin with if you liked me?”
“Thunderlane,” he said again flatly, finally looking up into his eyes again. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Sorry. I’ll stop now.” There was a long moment of awkward silence before he asked, “Wanna get back to flying now?”
“Yes. Please. Thank you.”
The two left the restaurant with that, Charley feeling extremely weird and self conscious because of that whole conversation. And kind of happy, too, because Thunderlane said he liked him. And then seemed like he liked him more when he admitted to being a girl, and was ready to start calling him a mare. It was a thought that made him want to melt into a puddle, and made things significantly more complicated for when he had to leave in a few days.
“So now we’re going to work on kicking off,” Thunderlane started once the two of them got back to the spot they were training at. “Stand behind me and watch what I do with my hooves. It’s easier to demonstrate than it is to describe.”
Charley followed his instructions, trying his best to not stare at the stallion’s flank as he watched his hooves. He looked like he was kind of rearing up before kicking off the ground, not having any trouble at all getting into the air.
“Don’t start flapping your wings until after you kick off, okay?” he said. “If you need to, try and get a running start. That should help you. Okay, now try it!”
Charley gathered himself and tried to do what he said, taking a running start and kicking off of the ground. He only managed to faceplant into the clouds, luckily not hurting himself with as soft as they were. Thunderlane encouraged him on, but a few more tries only had him succeeding in doing largely the same thing.
“You can do it, Charley!” he assured him. “You got this!”
“Is there another way to do this?” he asked. “Or is this the only way?”
“I’m sure mares do it differently, but I wouldn’t think that would affect anything… actually, I wonder if Rainbow Dash is around here. I’m sure she could help us out. Or maybe the mail mare, even! You have to apologize to her anyway, and I’m sure she’d help you with kicking off the ground.”
“I didn’t mean specifically like a mare,” he blushed. “Just, like, another way. I just wanna be able to get this down.”
“Well, if you’re a mare and you already fly like one, then kicking off like one is sure to help, right?”
His ears flattened against his head again. He wanted to rebuff his logic, but couldn’t think of a way how. He was getting way too flustered to be able to refute his assertion. Unlike Pinkie Pie, where being called a mare just made him upset and angry, right now it was making his heart melt inside his body, his brain desperately trying not to enjoy the thought of Thunderlane seeing him that way.
How could he not though? Especially with that golden smile he flashed his way right now. It still made him smile automatically, except more bashful now that he knew the stallion liked him. It was partly embarrassing and partly heart warming that Thunderlane immediately relaxed when Charley admitted he was trans.
God, this is going to be so hard to break out of, he thought shamefully as he followed Thunderlane down to Ponyville, barely getting his footing when he set his hooves on the ground. It’s going to be impossible. This was what I was supposed to be avoiding! And now he’s gone and said he likes me back. Maybe there’s a way I can try and temper how much he likes me?
As if watching him, the second he set his hooves down, he was knocked down to his back, forced to stare up at a familiar sight.
“I swear to God, I’m going to fucking scream at you,” he said flatly, somehow keeping his cool. “Do you knock me down on purpose?”
“Sorry, Mr. Charley… err, I mean, Charley,” she apologized. “You just looked like somepony else I was going to deliver mail to, and I got confused.”
“That’s okay,” Thunderlane smiled, speaking up before Charley could say anything. “We were actually looking for you anyway. We were wondering if you could help us with kicking off the ground? Charley needs help with getting herself into the air.”
He hid his face in his wings and did everything he could not to scream. Why did Thunderlane do that? He specifically told him not to do that after he asked. He once again wanted to roll over and die of embarrassment, doing everything in his power to not smile as he felt an incredibly strong wave of euphoria work over him.
“I told you not to do that,” he said, his words coming out in nothing more than a whisper, much too flustered and embarrassed to speak louder. “This has to be some sort of emotional manipulation. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Sorry. I guess I just slipped up.” With as cheekily as he said it, he had a hard time believing that Thunderlane just ‘slipped up’.
“How could you mess up? I just told you! You went out of your way to do that on purpose!”
“I really didn’t, but I’ll make sure to not do that anymore, okay?”
“Good, but, like, don’t stop now with her, okay? It’s gonna look weird if you do. But don’t do it with anyone else, got it?”
“Okay,” the stallion smiled. “I got it. I won’t.”
“Thunderlane, I’m being serious. Don’t fucking run your mouth and out me like that." Charley sent a glare his way, wanting the pegasus to know how serious he was.
“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Then he turned to the mail mare and said, “Anyway, do you think you can help us with lifting off the ground?”
She tried her best, explaining that she mostly just hopped of the ground, getting Charley to copy her moves. It still felt just as impossible to do as before, but after several long minutes of effort, he was finally able to get himself into the air. He did it a few more times to make sure he was able to consistently, and then looked down at a smiling Thunderlane who nodded his head in proud approval. Charley was actually flying, all on his own, just like the stallion said he would be. He really was something else.
“That was all we needed,” Thunderlane said once they were satisfied. “Thank you, Muffins. Oh, one more thing. Charley has something she wants to say to you.”
“I do?” he asked, slightly confused and automatically blushing at the word he heard. He was definitely still trying to manipulate him, into what, he didn’t know. There were other ways to phrase that sentence that wouldn’t have made him feel so euphoric and happy.
“Yes. You were going to apologize, remember? For cursing at her?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry, I guess,” he said pathetically, not really caring.
“Charley, you can do better than that,” Thunderlane told him, almost like a stern parent. “Try again.”
“Ugh, whatever. I’m sorry for cursing at you.” He badly wanted to include the fact that it was her fault for bumping into him and smacking him to the ground so many times, but left that part out. The stallion would just make him do it again.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just upset and angry. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I bumped into you. But maybe we can be friends now! That sounds like a great idea!”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” He guessed this meant he had two friends now, so Death would be doubly happy when he saw him in a few days. Two friends also meant that he could detach himself from the stallion next to him.
“Can we go now?” he asked. “I’ll apologize to Pinkie later.”
“Nope, we’re getting it out of the way now, since you can fly.”
The two walked along with that, quickly finding the pink pony at Sugarcube Corner and going through the same spiel with her, down to Thunderlane saying Charley could apologize better.
“Aw, that’s so nice of you, Charley!” Pinkie Pie said. “I was hoping you’d apologize, even though I know you really didn’t mean it when you said those things before and were just being a grumpy pants like you always are! Oh hey! Since you’re here, you should super duper try a new food I’m making! Cupcakes and hot sauce with sliced pickles on top! I call it hot pickle cakes, and they’re super good!”
“That sounds absolutely disgusting,” Charley said irritatedly, still thinking about how he was upset with Thunderlane for what he did. “I can’t imagine anyone who would like that.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound good, but Pinkie Pie is one of the best bakers in Ponyville. I’d normally at least try something of hers, even if it sounds super gross.”
“You’re disgusting, too,” he said firmly, “although some sliced pickles sound good. But no, we won’t be eating that, thank you.”
“I actually invented a super yummy sandwich with pickles once! It’s called peanut butter and pickle sandwich! Lots of ponies like them now after I showed them how good they are!”
“That’s not a new thing. I’ve been doing that since my parents were kids. Anyway, no, I’m not gonna try cupcakes with hot sauce. That’s just nasty.”
“Maybe some other time, Pinkie,” Thunderlane chuckled lightly, “when Charley is in a better mood.”
“Suit yourself!” With that, she hopped off like a rabbit, to where, they didn’t know.
“Okay, we got that out of the way. Can we go now please?”
“Sure. And this time, you should be able to fly yourself up there, at least part of the way anyway. We can find clouds to rest on if you get tired.”
“Yeah… before that though, I need to say something.” He looked a breath and blinked before turning to Thunderlane with a serious expression, telling him, “Don’t out me like that again. I intentionally kept it a secret up to this point, and I’d like it to remain a secret. Don’t go telling other ponies what I told you.”
“Huh? Oh, is this about what I said to Muffins? I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand why not. Nopony is going to care, and if they give you a hard time, I’ll give them a hard time.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “Plus, you looked absolutely adorable and happy when you blushed like that.”
“I– I don’t care how I look,” he shot back, trying not to be too flustered by this as he stomped a hoof. “I don’t want you to say it. Just don’t do it. And before you ask, no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head low, seeming like he genuinely felt bad about it. His ears were flattened against his skull and his wings were pressed into his side, almost in shame. Good. This was pushing Thunderlane away a little bit, which was something Charley wanted. This would help with the inevitable once the week was up.
If only Charley’s own ears didn’t lower because of the look on Thunderlane’s face. It was one that made Charley feel bad for telling him off, something that was a weird experience. Was this look because Thunderlane liked him, or just because he felt bad about saying things in front of other ponies against Charley’s wishes?
“Come on, wipe that sad look off your face,” Charley tried to tell him. “All you have to do is not do it again. It wasn’t that bad, anyway. You should be smiling like you always do.” He was not going to be saying that he liked hearing it.
“Smiling? Oh, you mean like this?” The stallion’s frown suddenly lifted, and he sent Charley’s way his trademark smile, making sure to look directly into his eyes as he did. Charley was certain that Thunderlane could commit murder and those absolutely beautiful eyes and that charming smile could help him get away with it. 
"I- I– you– you c-can’t just– god damn you!” He covered face with a wing again, trying to hide how bright red his cheeks were. “I didn’t mean like that,” he said quickly as his heart fluttered happily.
“Oh? You didn’t? Because you certainly made it seem like that.” The stallion moved up to him and wrapped a wing around him. Charley made sure to lean in so he could receive all the support he could get, closing his eyes as he did. He tried not to make it obvious how heavy he was breathing, wanting to catch the stallion’s scent. He shouldn’t have been doing this, but he couldn’t help it. He was so conflicted.
“Hey, since you’re a mare–”
“Thunderlane, please. Don’t ruin this moment. I don’t want to talk about that.”
“It’s not that. I was just wondering, since you’re a mare, and we both already like each other, what if we went out?”
That was the very last thing he ever expected to hear, so surprising that he practically jumped at the news. It was almost like he was asking to marry Charley. His instinct was to scream “Yes!”. However, he held himself back from doing so.
“I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of days, but there’s no reason we can’t. I mean, you already stay in my house, and I don’t do shows with the Wonderbolts that often. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but I still think it’d be nice to try something.”
“I… no…” he sighed, “I’m already getting myself tied up in all of this. I don’t want to be tied up more.”
“Tied up more? I guess it’s just because I’m too nice and amazing, isn’t it?”
And handsome as hell. He didn’t even have to think it. He was staring right at him, taking in his physique. At least, he was until Thunderlane caught on and struck a pose for him.
I shouldn’t be doing this… God, what the hell’s gotten into me? No one has ever gotten me to act like this before!
“I- I mean– you barely know me! Just yesterday you were telling me about how you didn’t like stallions, and now this? Did you hit your head on a rock or something?”
“Well, you were the one who tried to kiss me first yesterday,” Thunderlane giving a little smile. “Plus, you’re a mare.”
“Dkjlkefdem! Don’t say that!” He hated how big his smile was at Thunderlane’s words, and wished he could put it down. It felt like cheating just to get him to feel happy.
“I wouldn’t say that, but seeing how shy and blushy you get when I do is absolutely adorable.”
“No! For real! Don’t!” Charley turned away and kept his wings firmly pressed at his sides. “That’s, like, emotional manipulation, especially since I don’t normally act like this. That’s how I know you're emotionally manipulating me.”
“If I’m emotionally manipulating you, then it’s into being happy, and I’m gonna keep doing it.”
“No! Just don’t… I’m leaving in a few days anyway, so it’s not like we can be together, even if I wanted to.” Yeah. If. As if he didn’t want to. 
“You keep saying that, but where are you going? I could come with you if you want. Well, maybe. I’d have to talk to Spitfire first, but probably, and my parents so they could pick up my little brother again. But we could make it work.”
“It’s not gonna work, just trust me,” he said. “And before you ask: no, I don’t want to talk about that, either. Just know that isn’t not a place you’ll be following me to.”
“Mmm. Okay,” Thunderlane said, seeming like he was thinking it over. “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.” 
“Y-you’re not making me uncomfortable, it’s just…” He had no idea how to say what he wanted to say. He’d never been in this position before, and was at a crossroads he didn’t want to be at.
“It’s okay, Charley,” the stallion told him kindly. “You don’t have to say anything. We can just be friends while I carry you around and you wrap your hooves around me and burrow your muzzle into my neck to smell me.”
“I wasn’t doing that!” Charley lied, trying to sound angry by the assertion.
“You absolutely were, and it was cute,” Thunderlane laughed. “But we can just be friends if you wanna be. It’s okay.”
“Yes. Please. Thank you. That sounds good. Now can we please get back to flying?”
“Sure,” he smiled kindly.
> Chapter Ten
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charley and Thunderlane spent the rest of the afternoon practicing flying, the latter making the former go through the motions of kicking off the ground and lifting into the air. It took the entire afternoon, but by the time the evening came and the sun was setting, they felt like he had it down. At least, down enough that he could fly on his own, not that he could for very long. The two of them had to stop several times to rest as they flew back up to Cloudsdale from Ponyville.
“Well, I can’t say I’m the greatest,” Charley started, a little smile on his face as his hooves settled onto the clouds near Thunderlane’s home, “but you did teach me how to fly. Thank you.”
“I told you I would,” the stallion replied proudly. “And no trouble at all. That’s what I’m here for. I can’t believe you couldn’t fly before. What’s up with that?”
“That’s a long story,” he said, sighing, “and another one I don’t want to talk about.”
“You know, you don’t need to bottle things up. You can talk to me about whatever you want. I won’t care… unless you tell me you’re a mass murderer or something. Then I will care, and that’s not something you should tell me.”
“Damn, I guess I can’t talk to you then,” Charley tried to joke a little bit, getting a chuckle from the stallion. “For real though, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s an entire novel of a story, and one I’m sure you’re not interested in.”
“I am. I’ll listen. That’s why I asked,” Thunderlane said gently, setting a wing on Charley’s shoulder. It was a move that made Charley give a tiny sigh as the pegasus continued, “It’s not good to keep it all internalized. I’m here to listen if you wanna talk. That’s what friends are for.”
“Friends are also for listening when I say I don’t want to talk about it,” Charley said grumpily. “So stop asking.”
“Okay,” Thunderlane sighed. “But if you ever do wanna talk, know that you can always come to me. I’m willing to talk whatever’s bothering you through with you, or if you just wanna vent, that’s okay, too.” There was a slight pause before he asked, “What did you want to do tomorrow? I mean, obviously we’re gonna practice more flying, but I don’t think that’ll take all day like it did today.”
“I don’t really care what we do,” Charley told him. “I just… don’t care.” He had to stop himself from saying that he just wanted to spend time with Thunderlane. He shouldn’t have been thinking that, especially considering the circumstances.
Why not? It’s not like it matters. You’re gonna be gone in about three days anyway. Why not enjoy your time here if he likes you and you like him?
Because there was no way Thunderlane actually liked him, and if he did, there had to be something messed up in Charley’s head that he could possibly like Thunderlane as much as he did. Not once had he ever felt for someone the way he did about Thunderlane. He couldn’t lie, he always wanted to one day have someone strong and masculine to be his husband, as much as he hated admitting it. He didn’t want a horse to fulfill that role, however, and his face went flush thinking about it. He almost wanted to ask how he ended up in this situation. 
Because you suck bad at making friends, and can't seem to get along with anyone. How he even still stands to be around you is a mystery.
Did Thunderlane really already see him as a mare? That seemed impossible, and yet Thunderlane was relieved when he said he was. He found himself wishing it was so, as shameful of a thought that it was. It made his heart beat harder to think it was the case.
“Can we just go inside? I wanna go to bed already,” Charley said grumpily, looking down at his hooves. He was on the edge of saying the whole day was just a wash, but it wasn’t. He liked flying around with Thunderlane and being taught how to by him. He also liked the fact that Thunderlane asked him if they could go out, his face becoming even more red thinking about it. He knew he was falling more in love, and almost liked the idea that he was. He was being roped in.
Was this what Death wanted? For Charley to fall in love and then be just dragged away once he was done in Equestria? That was completely unfair of him if that was his plan. He wouldn’t have been surprised if it was though. It was the way everything else in his life went up to this point. 
The two of them went inside, Charley making his way to his room and bidding Thunderlane goodnight. He didn’t fall asleep though. He lay on the bed, his eyes wide open as he stared at the wall. He hated being in the position he was in greatly. Why couldn’t have he just made one friend on Earth when he had the chance? He could’ve been himself by now. Maybe it would’ve been better if Death didn’t even give him a chance.
It could’ve been minutes or hours, but eventually, Thunderlane was coming into the room and standing directly in front of Charley, those beautiful, golden eyes looking down at him.
“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but you looked angry and I don’t want you to go to sleep with everything all bottled up, so let’s talk it out.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he scowled, growling out his words. “I told you back at the restaurant that I don’t want to talk about it, and you said you wouldn’t ask.”
“I just mean about anything,” Thunderlane told him. “What are your parents and siblings like?”
“I don’t have any brothers or sisters, and my parents are both jackasses,” he said. “They never cared about me a single day in their lives.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“It’s not just one thing. It’s a whole novel of shit, and one I really don’t want to go into.”
“If you’re gonna be gone in a few days, then you should tell me and get it off your chest,” the stallion said. “I’m here to listen.”
“Ugh, and this is part of it! You’re making this just that much harder on me when I do have to leave!” he said with frustration. “You already know I like you, and this isn’t helping!”
He put his head in his hooves and clenched his jaw. Even now that dumb horse was winning his heart over and he hated it greatly. Why couldn’t he have just found someone else to try and make friends with instead of Thunderlane?
He could feel himself getting worked up, and a second later, a few tears were working their way out and down his cheeks. Thunderlane saw and wrapped a comforting wing around Charley, one he didn’t deny, but made him start to full on cry. He quietly leaned into him and let the stallion rub his shoulders, something he simultaneously hated and loved. Still more, he was playing into Thunderlane’s hooves and falling for him even more deeply.
“It’s just everything,” he said tearfully. “It’s not being a woman and not graduating high school and falling into a loveless relationship with my ex wife and my parents being way too young when they had me… it’s everything.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re a mare,” the stallion tried to say.
“It doesn’t because just saying that doesn’t make it stop hurting to not be one. If I were a woman, then I wouldn’t hate myself.” He sniffled as he continued, “Besides, that’s not the only thing. Don’t make it out like that’s my only issue.”
“Well I’m sure being yourself would help you feel a lot better, but what about your parents? What’s your issue with them?”
“The issue is they didn’t fucking want me. They were like sixteen when I was born, and resented me for cursing their life with my existence, as though it wasn’t their own fucking fault. They despised me, and showed it through their neglect and indifference.”
“I’m sorry,” Thunderlane said as he ran his wings across his back. It made Charley let out a breath as he continued, “It sounds very difficult.”
“Yeah, it is, and you being around me isn’t helping in the slightest,” he responded angrily, still letting out a few tears. “You’re gonna have me in such a fucking horrible position because you just… you just…”
“Just what?”
“Just keep making me fall in love with you! I hate this! You’re gonna put me in a position to choose between you and myself and I don’t want to have to do that! But you just keep rubbing my wings and teaching me how to fly and be kind to me and calling me a mare, and it’s making this impossible! It’s hurting me, so just stop it!”
Charley was screaming by the time he finished, sending a look Thunderlane’s way that made him take a step back. He was still crying, and Thunderlane looked incredibly sad for him.
“I’m sorry. I’ll go now. I’m sorry for making you feel awful.” He looked like he might be about to cry himself as he turned around and carefully stepped out of the room.
Charley tried to push all thoughts out of his mind as he flopped on his side and closed his eyes to cry. He hated this all. Why was Thunderlane so nice and handsome and amazing and kind? He hated so much that the stallion was all of those things.
Somehow, he fell asleep, finding himself waking up again before he knew it, the sun shining in his eyes through the window. It helped a little bit to rest, but he still felt absolutely angry by everything. He shivered and forced himself not to start crying again, laying in bed as the daylight came.
He expected Thunderlane to come into the room to wake him up at any moment, but thankfully, he didn’t. Charley was alone to lay in bed all day and be sad and feel sorry for himself and his circumstances, no one to bother him.
He didn’t do that though, only able to last until about noon until he had to get up, getting fed up with laying around. He strolled out into the living room to see no sign of Thunderlane, only Rumble sitting at the table eating a couple of sandwiches. He looked up at the stallion for a moment before going back to eating.
“You know, you made my brother upset,” the colt said flatly, not looking his way at all. “Thunderlane’s usually all happy and confident, but today he woke up and didn’t even smile once. He just left the house without saying anything.”
“Yeah, well, I told him not to keep bugging me with shit I don’t wanna talk about,” Charley said flatly, taking a seat in front of Rumble, but staring down at his hooves. There was more he wanted to say, but he forced himself not to. He felt bad about making Thunderlane upset.
It’s just another thing I screw up. Why am I surprised? I can’t manage a relationship with even one person. Not even with someone he really liked, who admitted to liking him back.
“Besides, it’s not like there’s anything else I need to do. I made a friend out of him. It’s not like I need him anymore.”
“Humph. Whatever. I’m gone.” The colt ruffled his wings and stomped out of the room and out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Apparently, Charley couldn’t manage a relationship with a twelve year old either.
What the fuck is wrong with me? he asked himself as he put his forehead on the table, letting out a deep sigh. Why can’t I just act like a normal human being? Or a normal pony?
He wished he knew, but didn’t. All he knew was that he’d failed every single time. With his parents, with his wife, with his son, and now with Thunderlane and his brother. Hell, he even failed with himself. It was going to happen no matter what.
He didn’t know how long his head was on the table, but eventually the colt came back in, seeming surprised that he was still there.
“I thought you would’ve stolen all of our stuff and left by now since you’re apparently just using Thunderlane,” he told him.
“I am using him, but not like that,” Charley muttered. “You don’t get it.”
“I’m not a little kid! I can get what you’re trying to do if you tell me! I’m almost thirteen!”
Charley kept his head on the table, trying to keep himself calm. “It’s not my fault I don’t want to tell him shit when he’s going out of his way to make me fall in love with him after I explicitly told him not to do that. It hurts.”
He couldn’t believe he was actually talking to this kid about it. How low was he going to vent?
“I shouldn’t be falling in love with the very first man I see like this,” he continued, his voice cracking a bit as he blinked away tears. He couldn’t help but imagine Thunderlane as he did. That stupid, rugged, handsome horse who looked amazing in his Wonderbolts uniform and gave Charley that stupid smile he loved all the time and went out of his way to be kind to him even with how selfish and Jerkish he always acted. He hated how quickly he’d fallen for him, and wished he’d just never met him and was still sleeping on park benches at night.
“Ha, well Thunderlane gets all the mares like that,” Rumble laughed. “And stallions, too, I guess. Everypony falls in love with him. I’ve never seen him go out of his way for somepony like he does you though.”
“Yeah, and that’s the problem. He shouldn’t be going out of his way for me and asking me if I want to talk. It’s like a form of emotional manipulation.”
“You’re the one emotionally manipulating him. You’re running around and laughing and hanging onto him and trying to kiss him, and then being mad and upset when he does the same thing to you and making him feel bad. It’s not right.”
“He makes me feel bad when he– God!” It was Charley’s turn to stomp out of the house now, heading to where, he didn’t know. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be anywhere but there, as far away from there as possible.
He walked for a long while before he flopped onto the clouds, quietly curling up. What was he doing? He should’ve given up already. It was only a matter of time before Thunderlane snapped out of whatever trance he was in and said he hated him, too. He was probably going to get back to the house and be relieved he was gone and tell him not to come back. 
It’s not like I’d deserve him even if he wanted me. All I do is act like a jackass and then wonder why people hate me. I deserve it when it comes to me.
He stared up at the sky, wasting the rest of his day away, watching as the sun eventually set and the stars came out. What kind of day was that? It was a day he basically tossed into the trash when he should’ve been trying to apologize for how terrible he was. And now he had only two days left. He was screwing it all up after making so much progress and was never going to be able to be himself. He was never going to be able to feel nice about himself the way he did for just a few minutes in front of Death.
The stars were nice though. They comforted him. He wondered if they were the same stars as the ones back on Earth, except in a different position because of the change in view. It would be amazing if they were, and he tried to scan to see if he could pick something out. He came up empty though, but it didn’t take away from the niceness of viewing them. Maybe he could name them and come up with his own constellations.
Come up with my own even though I won’t be here long enough to do anything with that I decide. It’s not like it even matters.
He watched the sky for a long while before the pony he expected to eventually see showed up. He hovered above him, winged stretched out as he looked down with a sad expression. It was an expression Charley had to turn away from before he started to cry again, and he put on an angry look so as not to appear upset. It didn’t deter the stallion, who laid down next to him on the side he was turned to. He didn’t smile at him though, instead taking a long moment to stare deep into Charley’s eyes, practically reading his soul as he did.
He tried to keep his face neutral as he stared at the stallion, but his heart practically beat out of his chest. He was absolutely trying to work his way into his head, using whatever magic he had over him to make him want to move in and melt into his hooves. He didn’t look away though, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on the stallion. He wasn’t going to be the first one to turn away. How could he with how gorgeous those eyes were?
After what felt like hours, Thunderlane finally sent that trademark golden smile his way.
“God, there has to be some sort of secret hypnosis trick you use when you do that,” Charley said as he automatically blushed and smiled. “How in the world are you able to just assault me like this whenever you want? Even when I'm trying to stay angry, it never fails.”
“Don’t know,” Thunderlane shrugged. “It’s just a thing that mares like, and it seems you’re not the exception.” Charley pointed his eyes away in shame as he said it, and Thunderlane let out a breath, frowning again.
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want me flirting with you and you don’t like being called a mare, and I keep doing it. I need to get into my head that it’s not okay. I really am trying to stop.”
It was Charley’s turn to let out a breath and he quietly said, “I do like being called a mare. More than a little bit.”
Thunderlane didn’t say anything, simply looking at Charley as he turned his head back around, waiting for him to continue. 
“But I don’t want to be called one because I’m not one,” he continued. “It just hurts and reminds me that I’m not one whenever I hear it.”
“Huh. Well it’s weird that you say you’re not one when you are. We’ve established that I’m not gay, and neither are you, so either you’re a mare or I am.”
“Ugh. You know what I mean.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear that and I keep doing it. But I’ll stop. I promise. Just yell at me whenever I’m bothering you and remind me you don’t like it.”
“Good. Thank you. But that’s not all of it. Part of it is still, like, you flirting with me and stuff, and I know I like it, but it’s not good.”
“Well, why is it not good? I've been thinking about it a lot, and can't think of a reason why not." Charley tilted his head in a confused expression as the stallion continued, "We can flirt and stuff and still go our separate ways whenever you have to get to wherever you’re going to. I’m not going to make you choose me over anything. I can absolutely promise you that."
"Ugh, it's not that simple. Even if you don't make me, I know that I will, and I can't do that because... things I don't want to get into."
He couldn't keep living life as a male, even if it meant being with Thunderlane. If he chose Thunderlane, he was going to just stay bitter like he always was and Thunderlane would leave him and when he died, he'd be in the exact same spot as before. He did not want it to come to that.
"You know I like you, and I know I'm being flip floppy and probably confusing you when I get angry because of this, but it's a big fucking deal and I don't wanna mess it up doing something I know I'm not supposed to do. I know that staying here is the wrong choice, and you're gonna work your way into my head and make me choose it anyway."
"I promise you, I absolutely will not do that," Thunderlane assured him. "And if you look like you’re going to choose me versus whatever else, I’ll make sure you don’t.”
“Yeah well… if you say so,” Charley muttered quietly, hating that he liked the idea of that and not wanting to admit so. He turned around to see that smile Thunderlane always gave to him being sent his way again, and blushed as he covered his face with his hooves.
“God fucking damnit, that smile. I’m never gonna get over that. I hate it so much.”
“Sure you do, sweetie,” the stallion chuckled. “Anyway, I assume you want to stop talking about this based on that adorably shy look on your face. Wanna fly around and practice more? You have to every day to keep up what you’ve learned.”
“Sure, that sounds fine.”
The two of them stood up with that, Thunderlane watching Charley carefully lift into the air. He made sure he was steady before he joined him, flapping his own wings next to him. Charley watched as he did, noting the difference between the way each of them did. It really was different, the idea of which made him smile in embarrassment a little bit. He wasn’t a mare, but maybe he really did act like one, at least in the way he flew. It wasn’t like he could help it either way.
“The weather always seems to be perfect for stargazing,” Charley said as the two flew, his head pointed up at the sky. “I wish we had some telescopes to set up or something so I can get a good look at everything. I’d want to see if there are any planets or moons or asteroids or anything. Map everything out, you know.”
“You sound exactly like the kind of pony Princess Luna wants on her astronomy team. If you can, you should definitely talk to her. I’m pretty sure just listening to you she’d take you on as an apprentice or something.”
“Yeah, maybe someday,” Charley lied. “I’d like to know how many millions or billions of miles away each planet is, and their sizes and orbital periods and everything. It’d be so cool to read if someone had a list of all that stuff. Like how many light years each star is away from here, too.”
“I’m sure there’s something like that at the library if you want to go. It’d be pretty cute watching you nerd out about all that stuff.”
“I’m not nerding out, and I'm certainly not cute. I just think it’s interesting.”
“Okay, nerd. Wanna find a spot to lay down and stargaze again like last time?”
“That sounds fine, but if it involves flying, I’m staring to get pretty tired. I need to rest for a minute before we go anywhere.”
“I can carry you if you want,” the stallion said, already moving behind him to wrap his hooves around Charley. He rested him on his back in his hooves as he continued, “Tired ponies need strong stallions to carry them places, right?”
“I know you were just itching to call me a mare there,” he replied, smirking a little against his will as he stared up at him. Just the fact that Thunderlane was seeing him as a mare even though he wasn't one was making him happy. He couldn't help but happily imagine that he was a cute mare being carried around in the air by her strong boyfriend. Maybe he was right then, at least on the inside.
Maybe in a couple of days I can at least be a lady on the outside too...
“Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. I didn’t say it though, did I?” Thunderlane teased.
“I guess not. But go ahead and take us to whatever spot you think is good.”
Thunderlane carried Charley up to the spot they went to a few days before, settling his hooves on a cloud a bit above Cloudsdale, one in a good position to both view the sky and the city. He didn’t let him go though, keeping him on his back as he held him, letting his head rest on his chest fluff. It was a comfortable spot, and one Charley was content to stay in.
They looked up at the stars, Charley going over types and distances and whatever else came to mind for a while as Thunderlane silently smiled and listened to him. Eventually, he became quiet too as he lay in Thunderlane’s hooves, his gaze shifting between the sky and the stallion. Every time he caught him looking, Thunderlane sent that special smile down Charley’s way, one that made him start to settle into his grasp more. It was bad, and he knew it.
It’s only two more days. He said he’s not going to pressure you to stay. Only two more days, then you’re gone. It’s not like it would be that hard of a choice anyway, choosing between him and being yourself. You can just enjoy the next couple of days with him peacefully like you have been.
He was so flip floppy, he knew that, but could he be blamed? He’d never been in this situation in his whole life. He had no idea how to go about all of this.
The two stared at each other for a long moment, and Charley’s heart slowly started to beat harder. He was getting the inclination to lean up and try to kiss him again, but forced himself not to. He wasn’t going to do that. He had self control.
That didn’t mean he would stop Thunderlane if he tried to.
He felt like the moment was coming, and was ready for it, but as though fate were watching, a small crackle of thunder and storm clouds in the distance forced the moment to end. It looked like their clear night was going to end soon.
“I forgot that rain was scheduled for tonight,” Thunderlane said, rubbing a hoof behind his head. “I guess that means our stargazing is done. Ready to head back now?”
“Sure, let’s go,” Charley said, hopping out of the stallion’s hooves. It was probably for the best anyway that he didn’t let himself keep getting caught up in this.
> Chapter Eleven
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two got back in the house just as it started to rain, Charley sighing in relief that they didn’t get caught in it. They entered to the sight of Rumble hanging out with another pony and playing a handheld– hoofheld– game with him. He looked up at both stallions entered, smiling at the sight of Thunderlane but quickly changing to a scowl when he saw Charley.
“Whoa, who stepped in your hay fries, Rumble?” Thunderlane asked, chuckling a bit. “Turn that frown upside down.” The colt eyed Charley as he said it. Thunderlane turned to Charley, too, who only shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what was up.
"Charley wasn't the one who stepped in your hay fries, was he? Because you're looking at him like you despise him. It's not cool."
“Whatever. I’m going down to Ponyville to spend the night with Button Mash. Come on, Jetspeed.” The two left with that, the colt sending another glare Charley’s way. What did he do to him?
“Did something happen between you and Rumble today?” Thunderlane asked, raising an eyebrow. “He never acts like that to anypony.”
“I dunno. I only saw him for an hour today before I left. He didn’t seem happy to see me then, either.”
Charley remembered the interaction with him that morning, and thought about how Rumble said he was running around and hurting Thunderlane. That wasn’t true, was it?
He knew it was, and he was only going to hurt Thunderlane even more the more time he spent with him. It was going to hurt himself to spend time with him, too, that he knew. It was such a rough spot for him to be in, and he hated it. What was he going to do?
Calm down. He already said he wasn’t going to pressure you into staying. Hell, he even said he’d convince you to not be an idiot if you started to act like one. Just chill out. Everything’s going to be fine. He hoped it would be anyway.
“What do you want to do with the rest of the night?” Thunderlane asked. “I have books here if you wanna read now before we go to the library. Nothing on stars and planets and stuff though, but a few fiction novels. Or we could play a boardgame.”
“No, I’m fine.” There was a long pause before Charley asked, “I assume you wanna talk?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” was the reply. “But what about dinner? I can cook some more fish if you show me how to do it.”
“I’d really rather not cook,” Charley said flatly. He saw the pleading look on Thunderlane’s face however, almost begging to do something with him, and quickly added, “but I guess I can, if only to show you how to do it right.”
“That sounds nice,” Thunderlane smiled. “Wanna get started now?”
“Sure, let me just take a shower real quick. I feel grimy after so long without one.”
“Okie dokie. Mind if I join you?”
“Uh… what?”
“In the shower. Can I join you? That way we don’t waste water, or time either.”
“Uhhhhh is that a normal thing?” Charley asked, feeling uncomfortable by the proposition. “I know I said we can flirt and stuff, but that’s not the same thing as flirting. I mean, I didn't say we could flirt, but still.”
“What are you talking about? Ponies shower together all the time. Haven’t you ever been to a communal shower? There are like three or four of them in Ponyville. Less common here in Cloudsdale though, since we have a limitless supply of water, but we still have one or two.”
"That sounds extremely weird, but, I mean, I guess…? As long as you’re serious about the communal shower thing and aren’t using this as an excuse to try something. I want a guarantee that it's something everyone does.”
“I’m serious. It’s a big thing.” Thunderlane raised an eyebrow, asking, “Where are you from where you use the phrase ‘everyone’ and don’t know how to fly and haven’t heard of communal showers?”
“An alternate universe,” Charley mumbled, shaking his mane out of his face. “But whatever. I guess if it’s a normal thing, it’s fine. It’s not like people here have clothes anyway.”
“Seriously, where are you from?” the stallion pressed. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but can’t you at least tell me that?”
Charley sighed at the question. “I’ll tell you about it later. I’m gonna go shower now.”
Charley got the water running and stepped in, Thunderlane joining him a few minutes later. He expected the stallion to try to make it weird, but apparently, it was a completely normal thing. Hardly a word was spoken as Charley stood under the water, watching Thunderlane quickly lather up his body and rinse himself off. He was extremely efficient, but for someone so fast in the air, he expected as much. He kept his eyes on him as he worked, taking in his masculine body with a faint blush, but it wasn't something that lasted long. The black pony was done inside of three minutes, leaving Charley once again in the water by himself.
“You know, your coat’s gonna get all matted up if you stay in that water too long,” Thunderlane commented as Charley watched him dry off. “Then you’ll have to brush it out, too.”
“Eh, I don’t care. I’m only gonna be here for two more days anyway. It’s not like it matters.”
“Hey, Charley?”
“Yeah?”
Thunderlane looked down at his hooves awkwardly for a second before pushing his eyes into his friend’s. “If you’re feeling suicidal or are gonna self-harm–”
“God, no Thunderlane! I’m not gonna kill myself! Where did you come up with that idea?” He was almost angry by the assertion.
“Sorry, that’s just how it was coming across, and I wanted to make sure you know that I’m here to listen.”
“No, I’m not gonna kill myself,” Charley rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you would even think that.”
“That’s just how it’s coming off, and I’d hate to see something like that happen if I can prevent it. Like, your attitude is kind of like that, like you don’t want to fall in love because of that.”
“I will be leaving, and it’s not gonna matter if my coat is matted, but I’m not killing myself. It’s just a complicated mess of a story that I’m not getting into.”
“I’d really like to hear it though,” the stallion almost pleaded. “I just want to know what’s going on, please.”
“Thunderlane. For the eightieth time. I don’t want to talk about it, so stop asking. You’re seriously starting to annoy me with how much you keep fucking hounding me about it.” Charley had on a glare for an expression, trying to get the point across. 
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to upset you.” He looked at his hooves again for a moment before shaking his head to clear his mind. “Anyway, gonna get out of there anytime soon? I want to see how a real pegasus cooks fish.”
“Yeah, give me a second.”
He got out a little while later, quickly drying off and stepping into the kitchen to find the stallion already getting the food out. It seemed he was serious about wanting to learn how to cook fish properly.
“I’ll get out everything I can think of that you might need, but if I’m forgetting anything, just tell me,” he explained before turning around to Charley. “I don’t know if we… whoa.” His cheeks went bright red, something that confused Charley. He looked behind him to see if Rumble had returned and was embarrassing him, and when he saw he wasn’t, raised an eyebrow in question.
“You, um, you… n-need to preen your wings, Charley,” Thunderlane said, sounding shy. It was completely unexpected how embarrassed the stallion sounded, how deep red his cheeks were, and it had Charley nothing but confused.
“You mean like a bird?” he asked as he took a look at his wings, noticing the feathers were ruffled up. “I mean, I guess I do, but I don’t know how to do that myself,” he said. “Why are you so embarrassed though?”
“W-well, um,” the stallion stuttered, “being preened is s-something ponies normally do by themselves… or as a couple if they’re at that stage of their relationship…” Charley continued to look at the stallion with a confused expression, so he continued, “H-having ungroomed feathers is n-normally a signal to somepony that you want to… you know…” He looked up at Charley for a moment before turning his gaze back to his hooves.
“So let me get this straight: showering together is totally normal to you, but my feathers being a little bit ruffled gets you all bashful and embarrassed and makes you think I want to fuck you. Am I getting this right?”
“Well out of the shower, ponies either dry them carefully or just preen themselves,” he continued. “It’s kind of like when a mare has her tail raised while she’s in heat. I- I just d-didn’t expect you to come out looking like that.”
“You ponies are something else,” Charley said without a hint of shame as he stepped into the kitchen, looking over the ingredients he had. “Is this everything you have?”
“Yeah. I haven’t been shopping yet… do you really not know how to preen yourself?” Thunderlane asked, staring right at his wings. Charley had to admit that he was feeling a bit insecure, and made sure to keep his wings pressed closer into his sides.
“No, I really don’t. Now do you have any breading for these?” he asked. “I’m gonna show you how to make perfect fish.”
Thunderlane carefully watched him work, Charley explaining his process as he went through step by step. As he did, he could practically feel the stallion glancing at his wings every so often. He immediately stopped whenever he realized he was, but his face remained flushed red, something that made Charley embarrassed. Being naked all the time was acceptable, but his wings needing to be preened was an issue?
He tried to ignore it as he talked the stallion through what to do, eventually settling down at the table once he placed the fish in the oven. Thunderlane remained standing, still blushing and doing his best to stare into Charley’s eyes.
“Are my wings really that much of an issue that it’s making you embarrassed to look at me?” he asked. “How? Don’t all pegasi have to preen themselves?”
“Yeah, but, you know…” He took a breath before continuing, “It’s like I said. P-ponies don’t normally go out with ruffled up feathers like that, and the ones who do are trying to… you, know. Advertise.”
“Well, I’m certainly not doing that,”  Charley said, rolling his eyes. “I won’t lie though, this feels like a nonissue.”
“I’m telling you, if you go out in public tomorrow looking like that, ponies are gonna stare at you.” Charley opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Thunderlane continued, “But I know, I know. You’re gonna be gone in a couple of days, so what do you care? And you still don’t want to talk about it, do you?”
“You got it exactly right. Now let me check on that fish.”
The two of them finished cooking and ate their meal, Thunderlane smiling and commenting about how it was the best fish he’d ever eaten. It made Charley smile, and got him to offer to cook something for dinner tomorrow despite his disdain for the activity. He headed off to bed with that after they finished, somehow feeling drained of energy despite an entire day of doing largely nothing. He once again got the feeling that he wasted the entire day away and was running out of time, but he pushed that thought out of his head. Tomorrow he’d go to the library with Thunderlane and have a nice time.
He woke up early, before even Thunderlane did, and decided to surprise him with a little more cooking. He raided his fridge for eggs and pancakes and hashbrowns and got to work on making a meal. It didn’t take long, but by the time he was finished, Thunderlane was walking into the room and rubbing his eyes.
“Wow, it smells good,” he said sleepily. “How early did you wake up to… heck!” 
“What?” Charley asked as he set food out at the table, tilting his head in confusion. Thunderlane had that look he had on yesterday, one that was embarrassed, and his face was even brighter red now than it was the night before.
“You- it’s… you’re wings are even less preened than yesterday!” he said, turning away shamefully. “D-d-do you really not know how to do it? I thought you were just trying to tease me saying that!”
“Yes, for the third time, I really don’t know how to preen myself,” Charley said, now feeling a little embarrassed himself. “How is this something that’s only a problem now? Why didn’t you bring it up before?”
“They didn’t need to be preened before! You probably ruffled them up after you dried off from the shower.” There was a little pause as the stallion quickly made his way up to Charley, trying to smooth them out with a wing.
“You’re really not supposed to do this, but if you don’t know how to preen yourself, then we’re gonna have to settle for smoothing them out for now,” he said as he quickly worked over him. “You really can’t go out looking like this,” he explained. “There’s no way they’d let you in the library looking like this. It’s practically obscene.”
“I don’t see how. It’s just wing feathers. Every bird horse I’ve seen up to this point has them.”
“Yeah, well, you’re gonna have to just trust me… Celestia, this isn’t working. It’s so ruffled up.” The black stallion went to the other wing to try and smooth them out, but had just as little success working on them. As he did, Charley blushed a little bit when Thunderlane brushed up against him. He could almost feel how hard his heart was beating by all of this, something that made him blush more. Was this really as obscene as Thunderlane seemed to make it out to be?
He could also faintly smell his scent from this position, even despite the food being on the table near him. It was that same slightly salty masculine scent he smelled before while he was flying with Thunderlane during the Wonderbolts show, one that made him want to suck in deeply to inhale every ounce of it that he could get. He avoided doing so, but just barely. The thought that it was the view of his wings that was producing it on Thunderlane made his heart begin to beat with equal measure to the stallion.
“Whatever,” Thunderlane finally said, resigning himself to the fact that he couldn’t fix it with just his wings. “We can deal with this later. I- I… I’ll teach… um, we’ll put you in one of my jackets when we go out, okay?” he said quickly. “Let me see if I can find something. Hold on.”
“Thunderlane.” Charley stopped him before he could move. He turned to Charley but then blushed and put his eyes on his hooves when he saw his wings again.
“Can we eat breakfast before that?” he asked. “I don’t want it to get cold after I cooked it."
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah! Let’s eat first. Sorry.”
“It’s fine, I just didn’t think my wings would be that big of a deal.”
The two sat down to eat with that, Thunderlane afterward finding a jacket of his for Charley to wear. It was a Wonderbolts jacket Thunderlane normally used for performances, complete with his name and an insignia, but he assured Charley it was fine. Charley accepted it without much issue, although he still couldn’t see why his wings mattered so much. It didn't complain that he was getting to wear the stallion's clothes as though they were going out.
It smells like him, he couldn’t help but notice, a fact that made his heart flutter happily. He couldn’t help but think about the fact that he was wearing his scent, and would end up smelling like him by the time the day was done. 
Can you get that stupid thought out of your head? he told himself frustratedly. What does he have anyway? You barely know him! You’ve only been around him for a few days. Sure he taught you how to fly and went stargazing with you and you showed him how to cook fish and took you to a show of his and…
It was a whole list of things, wasn’t it? Even spending all day yesterday lying around and feeling sorry for himself, his week was still packed with stuff. It was probably the best week of his life, at least the best week he’d had in a long while. He couldn’t lie: he’d be sad when it was over.
But it doesn’t matter because every week after this is gonna be the best week ever. I’m gonna actually be able to feel like myself. It’s worth it to have a little pain if it means I can just be myself for the first time in a lifetime.
The two left the house and went to the library, walking casually through the cloud city. Charley took notice of the other ponies, all pegasi like him, walking along as well. They were all different sizes and colors and looked genuinely happy and stress free. He didn’t notice it in Ponyville when he first got to Equestria, but he was certainly noticing it now. Maybe it was the fact that below the clouds things felt busier and noisier. It felt much quieter here, as though the clouds were helping to suppress noise. Maybe it was just that bird horses seemed like they more chilled out in general. In any case, he appreciated the scene, a rare thing for him to do, even on Earth. Especially on Earth.
It’d be nice to live here… no! Get that thought out of your head! You’re not gonna be manipulated into choosing this stallion over yourself! If I choose this, it’s gonna end prematurely in heartbreak because I’m not gonna keep forcing myself to live like this.
“There it is!” Thunderlane said as the two of them made their way up to a large, mansion-like building that advertised itself as the Cloudsdale Public Library. It stood supported on multiple heavy looking beams, the entrance hanging about fifty feet in the air. For what purpose this served other than to be more complicated, Charley didn’t know.
“It has every book imaginable in there,” Thunderlane told him. “I think it’s one of the top ten biggest libraries in Equestria, and certainly the biggest one between here and Canterlot… well, except for Princess Twilight Sparkle’s library. But that one doesn't count since it was just built not too long ago.”
“I see. Well, I’ll take your word for it. Think you can fly me up there?” he asked.
“Haha, that’s a funny joke,” the stallion laughed. “You better use your wings, silly. What was all that flying for if I’m gonna carry you everywhere?”
“Aw, come on, you’re supposed to be the strong stallion sportsman between us, right? It’ll be good exercise.” Charley gave a smirk as he said it, enjoying messing around with him.
“Oh yeah? Well me flying you everywhere isn’t gonna make you the strong mare I know you can be.” Charley’s face went hot red at that remark, and Thunderlane continued, “But I’ll take you up there if only because you’re wings aren’t preened and I don’t want you to expose yourself to everypony.”
“I still don’t see how that would be considered ‘exposing myself’ when all of you have been naked the whole time, but if it gets you to fly for me, sure.” He decided not to make a big fuss about being called a mare this time since Thunderlane was doing this for him. Besides, he had to admit that it felt nice to hear.
The black stallion wrapped his hooves around him to pick him up, a move Charley was starting to get familiar with by this point. It was only a few seconds before they were settling on the steps to the library entrance, but it was a few seconds that Charley could stare into Thunderlane’s perfect eyes and feel his hooves on his body. He tried not to smile too widely as he was carried for those few seconds.
God, you’re treating him like your boyfriend, Charley chastised himself. Can you just stop? It’s like Rumble said. You’re fucking around and playing with his emotions. No wonder his brother doesn’t like you.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you to get you to do simple things for me that I can do myself,” Charley said quietly after that thought. "I'll try and tone down my annoying attitude about getting you to do things for me."
“It’s fine,” Thunderlane said coolly. “You're absolutely not annoying me. If you were, I'd let you know. Now let’s go find some books to read about stars, nerd.”
> Chapter Twelve
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wow! They have all sorts of information in this book!” Charley said excitedly as he poured over the textbook in front of him. Thunderlane smiled and watched him do so, but didn’t interfere, letting Charley talk as he read.
“They have estimated masses and diameters and say whether each moon is in hydrostatic equilibrium and all sorts of things! This is much more comprehensive than I was expecting!”
“Oh? Is it?” Thunderlane asked, taking the opportunity to engage him. “What kinds of information is in that book? And what does hydrostatic equableness mean?”
“Hydrostatic equilibrium means that a planet or moon is not only rounded by gravity but also properly differentiated internally. So something like Iapetus wouldn’t be… well, I guess you don’t know what that would be here. But differentiation means that heavier elements typically sink and lighter elements typically rise internally in a planet. Kind of like how if you shake up a bottle of dressing, the oil will eventually move to float on water. That’s the bottle of dressing differentiating.”
“Oh, I see,” the stallion smiled politely, not really understanding but enjoying the happy look on his face. “So what about…”
The conversation went on, Charley eager to explain things to Thunderlane and Thunderlane content to sit and listen happily. Charley knew he was just letting him go on for his sake, but he enjoyed it anyway. It was a nice time, and even though he knew he was falling even more in love with the stallion, he let it happen anyway. Tomorrow would be the last day he’d be here anyway. He could enjoy today for what it was worth and be confident in the fact that Thunderlane wouldn’t push him to stay.
“Do you think they have satellites and stuff here? Or probes? Or better yet: do ponies walk on other planets yet? It would be so cool if I could see pictures of these places and stuff. Or is everything done by hand? Err, hoof?”
Thunderlane shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I don’t know about all this stuff like you do. You’d have to ask Princess Luna about that if you ever got the chance.”
“Oh. Well, I won’t be able to ever do that… but this is a lot of information just right here. Being able to see a simulation of the orbital dynamics of this solar system would be interesting. I wonder if they have anything else like that here.”
“I’m sure they do. This place is gigantic and has everything you could think of. But before that, how about some lunch, sweetie? Since it’s almost two o’clock?”
“You, um, you– d-don’t call me sweetie,’ Charley stammered out, face bright red. “I’m not a sweetie, plus, that’s the same as calling me a mare, because I know what you mean.”
It was the same as being called a mare, that Charley knew just by the fact that he enjoyed hearing it and got a little surge of euphoria because of it.
“Sorry. You're right, I won't do that. But anyway, let’s go get some lunch.”
“Is there anything we can grab nearby and bring here so I can keep reading?” he asked. “I don’t wanna leave and then have someone else take the book I’m reading.”
“Haha, I promise, no one’s gonna steal your book, but sure. We can find some takeout or something.”
They left with that, not taking long to come back with a hoofful of concessions from a stand outside of the library. Thunderlane continued to smile and engage him, and he happily talked on until it was time to leave because the library was closing. The two walked out together, the stallion carefully bringing him down from the library, and the two settled on the clouds below. Charley took off Thunderlane’s jacket when they got down and stretched out his wings.
“Ugh, finally,” he said with a bit of relief in his voice. “Your jacket is nice, but keeping my wings in that thing is not fun.”
“Y-yeah, but, you’re w-wings still aren’t p-p-preened,” Thunderlane blushed. “You shouldn’t be out in public like this. You're completely ungroomed.”
“I don’t see how…” He stopped short when he looked around, practically everypony who saw him blushing and hurrying away, like he was completely exposed. Having ungroomed wings really did matter. More than being naked all the time apparently. 
“Okay, maybe I’ll take the jacket back,” he said, hurriedly putting it back on. “But I really don’t know how to groom these things. I’m serious. And I want to fly around tonight since I leave tomorrow.”
“I- I’ll show you when we get back to my house, alright?” the stallion said quickly. “I-if you’re… okay with that…” He looked like he wanted to absolutely drop dead from embarrassment. 
“Yes, I’m okay with that. I really don’t see the big deal though, but I guess if I have to be preened to fly around, why not?”
It was only a few minutes before they were back home and Charley was throwing off the jacket again, exposing his wings as he took a seat on the couch. Thunderlane was still blushing just as intently as he was before, staring down at him as Charley looked the stallion in the eyes.
“U-um…”
“What?” he asked seriously. “You said you were gonna teach me how to do this.”
“Y-yeah, but not in the living room. What if Rumble walks in?”
“How is this such a big deal?” Charley asked, now blushing a little himself. “You’re making it out like we’re about to have sex or something! I just want my wings groomed so you can stop acting weird about it and everyone stops looking at me!”
“Okay, but let’s go to my room, at least? I don’t want my brother to see me if he walks in.”
Charley groaned at that, but gave in, heading into the stallions bedroom. He was directed to sit on the bed, and afterwards waited while he watched Thunderlane pace around. He tilted his head in confusion, not knowing what was up.
Well, I guess I do know what’s up a little bit, but… how is wing grooming something that’s supposed to be intimate? We showered together, and he made not so much as a peep, but wing grooming and he’s all nervous?
The idea that this was something that could lead to something more adult from there made him nervous. That was the very last thing he wanted to have happen. Well… at least, he knew it shouldn’t happen, and would make sure it didn’t if things led that way. But with the way Thunderlane was acting, he was fearful it might.
The pegasus could see the look on his face and spoke up. “I-if you just, like, wanna figure it out for yourself because I’m making you nervous, th-that’s fine, too. I can tell you’re getting more uncomfortable because of me.”
“Only because you’re acting all weird! I just want my wings groomed cause I don’t know how to do it! You’re making it seem like it’s gonna be something intimate when it’s not! Can you just show me how to preen these things?” He turned his head and spread out his wings, practically able to feel the blood rush in Thunderlane’s cheeks when he did.
There was a long moment of silence before Charley turned back around to the stallion to see him standing there, mouth half open as he stared at Charley’s feathers. Was this the equivalent of a man staring at a woman’s chest?
“Thunderlane. Stop standing there with that dumb look on your face and show me how to do this.”
“Right. Right! Okay! I’m sorry. Um. Let me think about how to do this.”
He moved up and examined them, trying to think about how to go about this, his face becoming a deeper and deeper shade of red by the idea of something. What the idea was, Charley didn’t know, but he was curious.
“What is it?”
“Well, it’s– you know, preening is, um, d-done by mouth…”
“You have to put your mouth on my feathers?”
“Well, th-that’s how everypony does it,” he said quickly. “Nopony uses their hooves because they can’t reach all the way back there.”
“But you can use your hooves on my feathers.”
“I can, but the point is to teach you how to do it, right? Since you’re gonna be gone tomorrow? Unless you’re uncomfortable… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Charley told him. “I just don’t know how this all works. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. And I don’t know if it’s gonna be tomorrow or the day after. He never specified.”
“Who’s this ‘he’ person?”
“Not right now. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Show me how to do my wings.”
“Okay… are you sure you want me to do this for you?”
“Y-yeah! I don’t know how to do it! It’s not that big of a deal since we’re naked all the time and already showered together! I just want to go out flying later!” 
“Okay. M-make sure you watch carefully.”
Charley took a breath and tried not to be so nervous. Thunderlane’s shyness and unease was getting into his head. He was making this out to be like he was getting ready to go down on him, and his heart beat out of his chest because of it.
“Okay, you’re gonna wanna start by laying down on your stomach,” the stallion told him, gently using a hoof to push him down. “A lot of pegasi don’t do it this way, but that’s just what I do. And then, um…”
“And then what?” Charley asked, turning around to watch him. “What do I do?”
“Well, um, well… so, the next thing to know is that, um… whenever you preen, whether its yourself or somepony else… do you really not know how to do this?”
“Thunderlane. What happens next?”
“Sorry. So, when you preen either yourself or somepony else, there’s a certain oil called ‘preen oil’ that’s secreted from above your upper lip to help you, uh, r-relax, as well as keep your feathers from getting brittle or filled with bacteria or whatever else. Don’t ask me how your body knows when you’re preening yourself, let alone somepony else, but it does, and it secretes the oil when you do. So, uh…”
“So my wings are gonna be covered in oil?” Charley asked. “How do I fly llke that? And what do you mean ‘relax’?”
“It’s extremely thin. It’s not gonna, like, drench your feathers. And, uh, relax isn’t really the right word. I– it– I don’t know how to describe it, but it creates whatever feel good chemicals in your head to make you want to preen yourself every so often. About once a week or so for most ponies. And, um… it’s s-s-supposed to be intimate…”
He could imagine what Thunderlane was describing, and went back to blushing and looking at his hooves at the thought of it. If all that was true, then unpreened wings really were a big deal.
“I- I mean, y-you don’t have to h-help me if you d-don’t want to,” Charley said quickly, ashamedly. “It’s f-fine, I guess.”
“If you really don’t know how to preen your own wings, I can help you. It’s not any trouble.”
“I don’t…” He looked back up in Thunderlane’s beautiful golden eyes. It was probably the quietest moment he had with him, and the most nerve wracking. Thunderlane’s nervousness made him extremely nervous. His heart was beating out of his chest over something that probably wasn’t even going to be remembered in a few days when he was with Death.
“Go ahead and show me what to do,” Charley told him, giving a little smile and earning one back from the stallion. Thunderlane carefully leaned down and grabbed the first feather in his mouth.
“So the main thing you want to do is make sure they’re all nice and neat and straight and not bent,” he said as Charley watched his mouth on his wing. “You don’t want to pluck them though, not ever. Any feathers that are too brittle and old will fall out on their own. So you straighten them out by working from the base to the top a few times over, like this.”
He showed him how to do it, running his muzzle over the feather to straighten it out. Charley tried to watch as he did it, but realized what he meant about this being an intimate activity. It was just one or two feathers he was showing him out to do right now, but it felt good. It was a feeling he wanted to close his eyes for and sink into, and he gasped when he first felt it. He had to avoid sighing loudly, it felt exceptional.
“As you do this,” Thunderlane said as he worked, “The oil that’s secreted from your lip runs itself on the feather and keeps them disease free and from getting brittle. Luckily, yours look like they're in very good condition. After that though, you just need to straighten out their positioning like this.” He adjusted a few of the feathers on Charley’s wings, a move that made Charley sigh happily again.
“This feels really good,” he said as he tried to remain focused on what the stallion was doing.
“Y-yeah, I try,” Thunderlane smiled shyly. “Other mares have told me I have good preening skills, but I don’t see how.” He glanced into Charley’s eyes for a second before looking away embarrassed. It made Charley feel equally embarrassed as he asked, “A-anyway, do you think you know how to do it now?”
“I can try. Like this?” he asked, using his mouth to try and copy what Thunderlane did. He felt a little bit of the oil Thunderlane said would build up automatically making its way to his upper lip as he tried to straighten them out. However, he could tell he was having far less success than the stallion was. He looked up at the pegasus, who alternated between watching him and looking away shyly. It felt okay with Charley himself working the feathers, but not nearly as good as the two or three Thunderlane did for him.
“I don’t know if I’m doing it right.”
“It’s just that– well, I mean… you could be doing it better,” he admitted. “Try it more like this.” He demonstrated again, taking another feather in his mouth and straightening it out for him, sending a shiver through Charley’s spine.
“Fuck, that feels good… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” he said quickly. “But I can see why it’s something, uh, intimate.”
“Yeah.” Thunderlane rubbed a hoof behind his head before saying quietly, “I-i-if you can’t, um, d-do it yourself… I can, um… just do them all for you.”
“If this is the pegasus version of sex–”
“No! It’s not like that! It’s just… like, you wouldn’t cuddle with someone who’s only a friend, would you? It’s the same way. It’s just not something ponies do platonically… b-b-but I can do it f-for you if you don’t know how to do it yourself…”
“I mean, if you don’t want to it’s fine…”
“It’s not any trouble. I mean, you’re leaving tomorrow anyway, so you’re gonna wanna have your wings in good condition for when you fly away, right? It would just be helping a friend. I-if you’re okay with that.”
“Sure, if you are.” He looked up at the pegasus, who once again stared back down at him. This time though, Charley was the one giving a smile that made Thunderlane smile in return. It made Charley feel a little more excited and made his heart beat just a little faster.
Calm down. You’re only doing this because you need your wings preened, not as some romantic gesture. You both agreed that you like each other and aren’t gonna be doing weird stuff, so get that thought out of your head. You’ll be gone either tomorrow or the day after anyway.
“Just stay laying down and keep your wings spread out for me,” the pegasus instructed. “This’ll take a little while. And let me know if I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“Okay, will do.”
Charley took a breath and stretched back out, closing his eyes as Thunderlane got to work. He gasped again as he felt Thunderlane’s mouth working his feathers into place, and let out a murr of contentment. How moving feathers around could feel so incredible, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to complain. He also didn’t mind the weight of Thunderlane on his back as the stallion moved on top of him to get a better angle. 
“Do you like that?” Thunderlane whispered, stopping for a second to ask.
“Mhm. Keep going.”
Not only could Charley feel his heart beating hard, he could also feel the stallion’s heart beating fast as he laid on top of him to get to his wings. It was a lovely feeling, and one that made him smile shyly to himself. An actual man– err, stallion– was laying on top of him and treating him nicely, even if it was only having his wings preened. It was a happy thought, and one that made his heart beat harder. He never thought in his life that he’d be able to be in this position.
And it’s happening when you have about a day left to spend with him, he couldn’t help but think. Death was right. I really wasted my entire life just being fucking stupid and grumpy over things I could’ve changed. And only in these last four days am I feeling better, just for it to be taken away.
Sure, he was going to be a woman soon, and would be able to be himself, but still…
“Are you okay?” Thunderlane asked as he started to hear Charley sniffle and cry. “I’m not hurting you am I? Or am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No, it feels amazing, and you’re not making me uncomfortable,” he said quietly. “I’m just thinking about how my life has just been fucking awful and I completely wasted it.”
“Tell me what you mean?” the stallion asked, brushing a strand of Charley’s hair behind his ear and turning his head to him. “I wanna listen.”
“It’s just my whole life. Yeah, there were some things I couldn’t change. A lot of things. I know that. But like, trying to be happier, and treating people more kindly, and taking the leap and transitioning, and not being so lazy in school, and fucking using protection so I wouldn’t have a kid and have to spend almost ten years with my ex wife. There’s so many things I could’ve fixed, but didn’t take advantage of, and it’s my fault.”
“You can stay here if you don’t like wherever you’re going or wherever you’ve been. I really don’t mind at all.” He moved up to place his head against Charley’s, laying fully on his back.
“No I can’t. I cannot stay here. Staying here isn’t an option.”
“You’re right. I know. I’m sorry. But what about changing your life wherever you go?" 
“No… it’s just… ugh. It’ll be nicer, I know that, but still. My whole life has just been a mess. I should’ve done more. Even when I was dying, I was still acting like a fucking jackass to everyone! What the hell is wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Charley,” the stallion said softly, rubbing his back. “So what if you didn’t transition? Does that make you less of a mare? Does it make you less of a good friend that you’re kind of abrasive? Does it make you less of a pony if you’re lazy? Even if you’re all those things, you’re still a nice person to be around. Even if nopony else likes you, I do, and if things are gonna be brighter when you’re gone, what’s there to worry about?”
“God, this isn’t helping…” He felt the tears streak down his face, rubbing into Thunderlane’s coat some when he pressed into him. He was so nice to have by his side, and he was going to hate having to choose between the pony and himself, even if he knew the choice he would make. Was this going to be his last night with him?
“Can you just keep preening me, please?” he asked quietly, not bearing to look at him.
“Would you like it if I did?” Thunderlane asked just as quietly.
“Yes, please. It felt nice.”
“Okay, sweetie,” Thunderlane smiled before going back to his wings. Charley didn’t gasp this time when he felt the mouth on his feathers, but he did sigh and sink into the bed a little bit. He closed his eyes and let the stallion work, letting out a satisfied moan of contentment every so often. He occasionally turned around to see the look on Thunderlane’s face, and it was always smiling whenever he did. 
Too bad I’m not gonna be seeing it for too much longer.
“This is so nice,” he said contentedly as he felt his wings be preened. “Much better than I expected. Thank you.”
“I’m almost done, okay? There’s only a few feathers left.” Another minute later, and there was nothing more left to do, Thunderlane moving up next to Charley when he finished. 
“I hope you liked that,” Thunderlane said quietly, smiling and pushing his golden eyes into Charley’s. “Did it make you feel better?”
“Yeah, it did. I like it,” he blushed back, only looking away for a second before moving back to take him in. He was still looking just as strong and handsome as the day he met him, his strong muscles complimenting his soft eyes wonderfully. He was the man of his dreams, that he knew, and the person he’d spent fifteen years longing for. Even after just five days, he knew that.
And I’m gonna have to leave him in a day and a half at most.
He did his best to put that thought out of his mind, only focusing on those golden eyes and the feeling of his coat rubbing against Thunderlane’s as he pressed into him. He wanted to bury his muzzle into his neck to sniff his scent, but forced himself not to. Instead he continued to stare into his enchanting eyes, unblinking as the pony stared back.
It was a lovely, quiet moment the two of them shared, one Charley wanted to last forever. He could feel Thunderlane’s breathing against him and almost hear is heart beating. He wanted once again to move in and try to kiss him, but contained himself. He wasn’t going to be embarrassing himself twice. But still, he wished the stallion would move in and do it, even if he did have to leave tomorrow. 
“Um, what if…” He couldn’t believe he was starting the question. He shouldn’t have been doing this, no way. It was just going to end in embarrassment again. Rumble was right. He shouldn’t have been playing with Thunderlane’s emotions like this.
“You don’t have to say anything,” the stallion said softly, putting a hoof on his cheek to silence him before he could speak. He couldn’t take his eyes off the stallion for a long moment, watching him close his eyes and draw his face closer to him. A second later, he closed his own eyes, and felt his heart jump up happily as the stallion planted a kiss on his lips.
It lasted only three or four seconds, followed by a second, shorter kiss a moment later before Charley opened his eyes again, but it was one that felt like it lasted a lifetime. His face was bright red as he watched Thunderlane send a longing gaze his way, his expression as confident as ever. Of course it was though. What did he expect? He might have been embarrassed with preening his wings, but an actual, real live kiss? Of course he wouldn’t think anything of it.
Oh my god, I actually kissed a boy. It only took over thirty years, but… fuck! I kissed a boy!
“Wow, that smile you have on your face is adorable,” Thunderlane grinned. “I didn’t think you could possibly get any more cute.”
“I’m not smiling!” he yelled as he quickly turned away, trying to hid his enormous grin. “I just– I can’t believe I actually kissed you!” Thunderlane laughed at how happy Charley looked as he continued, “I’ve never actually kissed a man before.”
“Well I’m glad I got to be your first time kissing one,” Thunderlane replied. “I can’t believe though that a pretty mare like you never kissed a boy before. I bet stallions from here to Fillydelphia swoon over you. They see you and say, ‘she’s an absolute ten’.”
“Heck, you’re gonna make me die! Stop it!” Charley told him, unbearably happy. He knew he was just trying to make him flustered calling him a mare and using girl pronouns on him. It didn’t stop it from working though. He actually kissed a man. A real, live man. Sure that man was a horse, and he might have been a horse, too, but it didn’t stop him from being a man. He felt incredibly happy because of it. Charley was just a mare who kissed her boyfriend for the first time.
A boyfriend she would have to leave after tomorrow.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, turning away from the black pegasus. “I shouldn’t have edged you on like that when I’m already going to be leaving. I’m so fucking dumb.”
“It’s fine, Charley,” Thunderlane assured him, setting a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m not bad or embarrassed or anything. It’s fine. Plus, you’re a good kisser.”
Charley desperately tried not to smile at his words as he said, “You’re making it worse.”
“I’m sorry. But anyway, you’re wings are all preened now. Did you want to go out flying now?”
“That would be nice, if you want to… I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Charley,” Thunderlane laughed. “You’re absolutely fine, don’t worry. I’m not getting any ideas about you staying here or anything, promise. Now let’s go out flying.”
The two left the room with that, passing by Rumble on the way out, who was reading a book. The colt took a second to send an angry glare and a grunt of frustration Charley’s way before going back to reading and letting the two of them leave in peace. Charley did think it was weird though.
“Does your brother not like me or something?” he asked as they stepped outside. “He’s been glaring at me and giving me angry looks for the last couple of days now.”
“I’m not sure, but I’ll talk to him after you go to sleep if you want, because I’m curious about that, too.”
“I’d like to know what it is.”
“I’ll get to the bottom of it. But more importantly– do you remember what to do? How to kick off the ground and lift yourself into the air and stuff? It’s been almost a full day since you flew.”
“Yes, I remember,” Charley replied, a little smile forming. “But do you think you could carry me into the sky anyway? Since you’re supposed to be the big, strong stallion between us.”
“Sure, but only because you’re the small, pretty mare of this duo,” the stallion joked. Charley’s face went red again, knowing he should’ve seen it coming as Thunderlane continued, “But only if you promise to fly once we get high enough in the air. I can’t carry you for too long, even as small and pretty as you are.”
The words made him smile more, but he didn’t correct him or chastise him, responding, “Yeah, I’ll fly after you carry me up, I promise.”
And so up is where they went, flying around until they got tired. 
> Chapter Thirteen
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thank you for that, Thunderlane,” Charley said happily, hugging the stallion when the two landed. “God, I’m so tired from that. But it was nice.”
“It’s no trouble,” Thunderlane told him. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Also, it’s a good thing your wings were preened, because on a night like tonight, there were a lot of ponies out.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Charley rubbed a hoof behind his head as he said, “I still don’t see what the big deal with that is, but thanks anyway. I appreciate it.” He gave the stallion a kind smile, who returned it with one of his own. It sent a flutter through his heart like it always did, as well as sent a twinge of uncertainty through him. He didn’t know if it would be tomorrow or the next day he had to leave, but it would be difficult.
“Was there anything else we should do tonight?” he asked, blushing just a little bit as he asked the question. “Not that I have anything in mind, but if you do, I’ll take you up on whatever you want.”
“Thanks, but nothing that I can think of either,” Thunderlane replied. “Other than getting ready to say goodbye to you tomorrow, and helping you pack if you have anything to take with you.”
“No, I don’t have anything, but thanks for the offer.” He looked down at his hooves before he quietly said, "I wish I could stay with you here.”
“It’s okay, Charley. I’m not going to pressure you to stay. And actually, I’m gonna force you to leave because I do remember you asking me to force you to leave if you had second thoughts.”
“I did, and you better,” he said. “If I say something stupid, you have to make sure I leave, okay?”
“I’ll make sure. Now let’s head back. I still need to talk to Rumble and hit the hay.” He stretched and yawned, which made Charley do the same thing in response, as he said, “I’m glad to know a pretty mare like you, and I’m glad I got to be the first stallion you ever kissed.”
“Aaah, stop it!” Charley yelled with a gigantic blush on his cheeks as he hid his face in his hooves. “There might be ponies around us who could hear!”
“Then they’ll just have to hear about what a pretty mare you are,” Thunderlane laughed lightly as he put a wing around his companion. “Now come on. Let’s get out of here and head home.”
Charley walked with the stallion as he kept a wing on him, doing his best to not smile widely as he did. He hoped he could find someone as nice and amazing as Thunderlane in the afterlife. Or better yet, if Thunderlane was going to die eventually, meet up with him someday once he got there.
Unless he finds someone else before he gets to me, he couldn’t help but think, a thought that soured his mood a little bit. If preening was an intimate activity, and other mares said he was good at it, that meant that Thunderlane had other women to turn to after he left. With as charming and handsome as he was, there was no way he wouldn’t find somepony else by the time he died. Charley really was choosing between himself and the stallion.
And I’m gonna choose myself. I have to pick myself over him. I can’t live like this for the rest of my life, because it’s just gonna end the same way as last time. He wasn’t going to choose Thunderlane. He was going to choose himself.
It wasn’t long before the two of them got to the porch. They didn’t go inside immediately, Thunderlane taking the moment to turn Charley around and stare him in the eyes again. He started back happily, and before he knew it, another kiss was being planted on his lips. He couldn’t help but squeak happily as it was and lean in, wanting the moment to last forever. Sadly, the moment had to end so Thunderlane could speak again.
“I know I haven’t known you for that long, only a week,” the stallion told him, “but you’re a lovely mare, one of the best I’ve ever met. I’ll miss you wherever you go.”
“I’ll miss you too, Thunderlane,” Charley told him, sniffling a little bit and holding back tears. “You’re probably the best person I’ve ever met and the first person I’ve ever fallen in love with… and a good friend. I don’t know how I had no friends in an entire lifetime, or how you swooped in and picked me up when I told you not in spite of my attitude, but you’re amazing.”
“I try and be,” the pegasus chuckled. “Now let’s head inside now.”
“Yeah, I’m aching to get to bed… thank you for today. It was amazing.”
“No trouble.”
The two stepped inside with that, Charley not even noticing Rumble’s grumpy looks as he headed off to bed, feeling happier right then than he had in his whole life. He would be sad when he had to leave, but Thunderlane somehow made his life worth living, even if only for a few days. More than that, he’d been so kind and nice to him, and by the time Charley was done being in Equestria, Thunderlane was going to have given him the ability to be himself when he saw Death again just by being his friend.
He could safely say he loved Thunderlane like no other.



“You know he’s just playing you, right Thunderlane?” Rumble said flatly, not even bothering to look up at Thunderlane from his game as the stallion stepped into the room after putting Charley to bed. “I mean, it’s completely obvious anyway.”
“What are you talking about, little bro?” Thunderlane asked with a light laugh. “Charley’s not playing anypony.”
“Yes he is, and the pony he’s playing is you,” the colt said matter-of-factly. “I know so because he told me. So there.”
“What? When did he tell you that?” Thunderlane gave him a stern look, clearly not believing him, as he said, “You’ve barely said two words to him since he came over.”
“It was when you were gone yesterday. He came out into the dining room and said that he was using you. He didn’t explain how, but he said he was. I don’t know.”
“You probably misheard him or something, or if he didn’t explain himself, you didn’t understand what he meant exactly. Charley’s weird like that, dude.”
“Can't you see he’s manipulating you though?” the colt asked seriously. “He’s playing with your feelings with the way he’s acting! Trying to kiss you at the show and holding onto you and asking you to preen him and–”
“You saw that?” Thunderlane asked. “Don’t spy on us like that again! For real, that’s not okay!”
“Ugh, you’re missing the point, Thunderlane,” the colt said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. “He’s emotionally manipulating you and trying to play it off like you’re doing that to him. He told me that he was being manipulated by you when I asked why he was doing that to you.”
“He said I was manipulating him?”
“Yeah, he said you were playing with his emotions. The way he stomped out and slammed the door that day, he made it seem like it was a serious issue. He said he was using you though before that, but didn’t say how.”
“That… I can’t believe Charley said that. I don’t think he would do something like that.”
“Well, he did, and now he’s gonna leave tomorrow having gotten into your head and stuff. I told him to stop doing that, but he didn’t want to listen to me.”
“He’s not in my head, Rumble, but… did he really say that?” The idea that Charley would say something like that hurt him. He brought it up to Thunderlane before, but he didn’t think he was actually being serious, or if he was, that he wasn’t that bothered by it. Was he actually hurting him as badly as he said?
Was Charley trying to manipulate Thunderlane? He didn’t think he was the kind of pony, but now he had to wonder.
“He really did, and it’s annoying to see. But whatever. If you wanna keep being played, go ahead. I know both you and Charley think I can’t see what’s going on, but I can. I’m not an idiot.”
“Well… I don’t want to keep talking about this, Rumble,” he said quickly. “Just go to bed.”
“Whatever. Don’t believe me if you don’t want to.” He sighed and trotted off, leaving the stallion sitting alone in the living room, contemplating the meaning of what he said.
Charley couldn’t have been trying to manipulate him, could he? What was there to manipulate him about? He couldn’t think of anything, and certainly didn’t think Charley would do something like that. That didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t, however. There were weird things about the way he acted. How he never specified where he was going, and the fact that he didn’t like being called a mare were odd enough, but didn’t mean anything. He could tell he was the kind of pony who didn’t like to put himself out there.
But those things in combination with the other weird things about him, like not knowing how to preen himself and almost seeming to go out of his way to flash his wings like he did last night, along with how quickly he fell for him and how, now thinking about it, he seemed like he was passively trying to pressure him. He knew the stallion was weird, but he wouldn’t do something like that, would he?
Even more importantly, Thunderlane wasn't manipulating Charley, was he? He certainly hoped not, but he wondered now.
It was certainly in his head, yes, especially with only a day left before Charley left.



Charley woke up early the next morning, stretching and yawning as he looked out at the just now rising sun. It was now seven days since he first entered Equestria– one full week– and no more than a day until he saw Death again. Death challenged him to make a friend, and Charley came to Equestria and did exactly what he said. He made a friend, and now he was going to be himself very soon. His heart was being out of his chest at the thought and he couldn’t help but smile widely as he got out of bed. He was going to be a woman soon.
One week. It had been one week since Thunderlane looked at him, too, sending those golden eyes his way. He couldn’t believe he was angry about it when he first saw the stallion. The second he saw the black pegasus, he knew how handsome he was, and it seemed that day by day, he’d fallen even more in love with him. It was unbelievable how nice this week had been just because of Thunderlane. He was so glad to know him, and his heart beat happily once again at the memory of the kisses he received from him.
He got out of bed and began cooking breakfast once again, the stallion he was cooking for walking into the kitchen a few minutes later. He had a smile on his face, but it felt different than the one he usually wore. It seemed more… sad. Or maybe worried? Either way, it made Charley nervous. He was worried about what he might say, and that he might break their agreement on asking him to stay.
“I made quiches this time,” he said simply as he placed that and hashbrowns onto a couple of plates. “You know I don’t like cooking, but I think these are well made. You should like them.”
“They look good,” he said politely, smiling up at him as the plate was set in front of him. “Thanks.”
Thunderlane was definitely being weird. Charley might have only known him for a few days, but he was acting strange. There was something about the way he spoke and his body language that said he had something on his mind. There was a good guess to be made as to what it was.
“What are you thinking about?” Charley asked as he sat down at the table, nervously looking Thunderlane in the eyes.
“Huh? Oh, nothing, sorry,” he got in a quick reply. The stallion shook his head and tried to put on his trademark smile, but Charley could tell it was different than normal. Something was bothering him.
“You’re not gonna ask me to stay, are you? Because you know that I can’t. As much as I like you, I can’t do that.”
“I know, I’m not gonna pressure you to stay.”
Charley could hear just the barest hint of anger in his voice as he said it. He wasn’t mad at him, was he? What did he do to make him angry? Was he just in a bad mood? Charley only got more and more nervous.
“What’s wrong, Thunderlane?” he asked. His voice was probably the quietest and most concerned it had ever been in his life.
“It’s nothing. Do you want to go for a walk after this?” He looked up, but didn’t smile anymore. He had a flat, unreadable expression, one Charley didn’t like. 
“Sure, I guess, but if you’re angry, I’d rather know right now,” he said. “If it’s about me using your food to make breakfast, I’m sorry. I just thought it was okay.”
 “It’s not that,” he sighed. “I– you– it’s just… can we go out walking, please?” he asked again. “I don’t want to do this in here.”
“You’re making me really nervous, but I guess…” Charley would guess the stallion was about to say he was breaking up if he was dating him. He didn’t seem like he was about to ask him to stay either. What could possibly have him so upset looking?
“Thunderlane?” 
“Yeah?”
“You’re really making me nervous,” Charley said again, making sure to look him in the eyes this time.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “Uhhhh, when are you leaving?”
“I don’t know, but probably soon. It’s… a complicated mess. Long story short, someone’s gonna be picking me up, to put it simply. I don’t know when though, but they’ll be here. I’d rather be gone by the time they get here though.”
“Okay. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a walk with you now and talk to you before you have to leave.”
“Um, can we eat breakfast first, Thunderlane?” he asked. “What’s wrong? Just tell me now so I can be prepared for whatever you’re gonna say.”
“Sorry. We’ll eat. But I’ll tell you what’s on my mind when we go walking.”
“Ugh, whatever.” Charley shook his head as he picked up the fork to eat. He wanted to look annoyed, but he was very anxious about what this could possibly be about. He tried to think and see if he accidently upset him, but nothing came to mind. The stallion had been cool about the way he acted, and even said he found his abrasiveness attractive. What would’ve changed between last night and this morning? Did his little brother say something?
It was an awkwardly silent meal, one that stood out to Charley more than any other meal had in years. He occasionally looked up from his meal at the stallion to see him focused on the food, not returning his gaze. It only intensified his discomfort and anxiety, and he was extremely worried about what he would say.
They both finished their meals at about the same time, and wordlessly headed out the door. The sun was high in the sky, although most ponies were still indoors at this time. The sky was completely clear, a bright blue beautiful day being brought to the two of them. It would be a perfect scene for him to leave on if only Thunderlane would smile and wipe that flat expression off his face.
“Do you want to…” Charley tried to start, until he noticed the stallion wasn’t even paying attention to him. He was looking down at his hooves, as though considering what to say. It was making him extremely frustrated to see, and a large scowl formed on his own face because of it.
“What did I do that’s making you act like this?” he asked. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
The pegasus still didn’t look up, not yet anyway. Instead, he sighed again, and closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the words in his head and trying to force his question out. Charley stopped moving and stared intently at him until he finally spoke.
“Do you… think I’m trying to manipulate you?”
“Huh? Yeah. I mean, I guess a little bit. Why?”
He got a surprised look from the pegasus, one that made him look back at Thunderlane confused. “You really think I’m trying to manipulate you?”
“I mean, yes, but it’s not like that’s an issue. I don’t really care that you are. But yeah, I do think that.”
“Into doing what?” His voice was exasperated as he asked it, almost sounding offended by the notion, both that and hurt. He had a look on his face like he wanted a good explanation, one that took Charley aback. He really couldn’t see what the issue was.
“I don’t know, but you have been,” he replied factually. “I don’t care though, but that’s what it is technically. I know you like me, and I obviously like you, but–”
 “Then why are you saying things like that to my little brother?” he asked. “If you think I’m manipulating you, then talk to me. Don’t go around telling other ponies that. It makes me out to be somepony I’m not, and I don’t like it.”
“I really can’t understand what the big deal is,” Charley said, getting a bit annoyed himself. “It’s not like it’s some sort of issue. I manipulated you, you manipulated me. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter! How can you say it doesn’t?” He had a look of utter disbelief as he asked, “How can you say I was manipulating you? How were you manipulating me?”
“Thunderlane. You’re making this into a bigger deal than it is and misinterpreting what I’m saying.”
“How am I misinterpreting it? If I am, then tell me how we were manipulating each other.”
“What do you call it when you do things like call me a mare in public or bring me into the air during your show or ask me for drinks the first time you ever see me or teach me how to fly and stuff? Cause that seems like manipulation to me.”
“I did those things because I like you, not to manipulate you or something! Except the drinking thing, but that was because you were laying on a bench outside all alone! I wasn’t trying to manipulate you. I chose to bring you in the air over Rumble! That should say something, shouldn’t it?”
“I’m not saying you don’t like me–”
“That’s what it seems like you’re saying,” Thunderlane asserted. “It sounds like your just trying to cover and say 'I manipulated you' as some final act of truth to me before you go. Like you never even liked me back."
“Okay, why would I do that on the last day I’m gonna be here?” he asked. “You’re not interpreting what I’m saying correctly at all, and it’s annoying because obviously I do like you.”
“Okay. Okay…” Thunderlane closed his eyes and took a breath to calm his nerves as he said, “Tell me what you’re saying. When you say ‘manipulate’, what do you mean?”
“I mean... It’s… it just- it’s just that! I don’t know how to describe it. It’s not like it's a bad thing, but it’s what happened. That’s just how it is.”
“I didn’t manipulate you, but apparently you’ve been manipulating me, so what do I know?”
“God! You’re not listening!” Charley sat down and put his head in his hooves as the black pegasus paced around, thinking over what he said. It was a long, silent moment before Charley spoke again. 
“Can we just forget about this and do something nice before I have to leave?” he asked. “I don’t want my last memory of you to be you all upset and angry like this over nothing.”
“I want to know what you’re talking about since you were the one who told my brother that I was manipulating you and you were manipulating me.”
“Please, Thunderlane? If you’re gonna take it out of context, I don’t wanna have this conversation.”
“How am I supposed to take it, Charley?” he asked. “What’s the context that I’m missing?”
“The context is that I’m gonna die again soon!” he yelled, looking up at Thunderlane. “I died once on Earth, and Death said before I can, like, pass on to the afterlife, I needed to make a friend because my soul is black or something and then sent me here. That’s what I mean when I say I had to manipulate you into being my friend. So that way when I see Death again, I can be a lady.”
“Okay, assuming that’s true, why are you using the word ‘manipulate’ to describe it?” The way Thunderlane asked, it made it seem like he was looking to find any explanation that told him what he wanted to hear. It only made Charley more upset though. He wished he could just see that he was making a big deal out of nothing. Where had this conversation even come from? It was so ridiculous!
“Because that’s what it was! I don’t know how to make friends like that! Or, I guess I do, but I just can’t! The way I act just puts people off, so I have to try and act a bit different to get people to be my friend. As evidenced by Pinkie Pie and the gray mailmare.”
“Do you understand how that’s a bad thing to say though?” Thunderlane asked. “That’s not something you can just casually say to ponies and have them brush it off, especially if you’re saying I did something like that to you, too.”
“You did though! You did it, too! When you go out of your way to make me fall in love with you, that’s manipulation! Especially when I tell you first thing that I don’t want to be picked up the way you picked me up!”
“I wasn’t trying to pick you up, Charley! I told you when you first tried to kiss me that I don’t like stallions! Do you really not understand the difference between just being friendly and trying to manipulate somepony?”
“You said you flew me around on your back during the show because you liked me! How is that not manipulation on your part?”
“Because I did like you, because you act like a mare! I didn’t tell you anything or try to make a move on you because I thought you were just a weird stallion before and it was making me uncomfortable to think about! Do you understand?”
Charley grunted and shook his head in annoyance. “Can we please just fucking drop it?” he asked. “If you’re gonna get worked up because you’re misinterpreting what I’m saying, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Whatever,” Thunderlane whispered, starting forward as Charley got up to follow behind him. 
It was painfully silent as they wandered aimlessly to the outer reaches of Cloudsdale, finding the edge of the city and sitting on a ledge above Ponyville. As they did, Charley couldn’t help but feel afraid. He was this close to having the week be done with, and within the span of a few minutes, it seemed like the friendship he had was slipping away, right out of his hands. 
He couldn’t say he was surprised. It wasn’t like this was the first time this happened. Everyone who tried to be friends with him like this always ended up resenting him by the end of it. What made Thunderlane different? He half expected to be in this position most of the week, even if he did start to let himself believe that he would actually be himself soon. Why would he ever think he’d be able to be himself? He never was before, except for a few moments in front of Death. He’d probably only get a few more minutes before the end. That would be nice at least, he figured.
The ponies in Ponyville that they saw looked like little ants moving about, going in and out of businesses and houses and things throughout their day as Charley and Thunderlane sat unmoving on the edge of the city. He couldn’t see their faces, but he had to assume that all of them were happy and smiling. It was all he saw on the faces of everypony here before, so why wouldn’t they be? They all had nice families who loved them and pictures on their butts to determine their destinies in life and got to be themselves every day of the week. They should’ve been happy.
Charley wouldn’t have been surprised if someone told him that the entire world was happy. Everyone in every single world beyond every single door Death led him past. All of them were happy except for him. And Thunderlane, too, considering the depressed look he wore.
They sat for a long time until eventually the sun began to set. It was an entire day Charley spent with Thunderlane by his side, but it felt all wrong. He wanted to be at a point where he was trying to choose between the pegasus and himself, and it felt like it was going to end up being neither of those options. He turned to look at the stallion, hoping to catch a glimpse of those nice, golden eyes he had, but Thunderlane remained focused on staring out at the scene in front of them.
“What do you mean you’re going to die?” he suddenly asked, making Charley jump in surprise. It caught him so off guard that it took him a second to process what he was saying.
“I mean that Death is gonna take me to some afterlife after this,” he explained. “I don’t know exactly how it’s gonna happen, but he told me to make a friend here in a week so that I could pass on. It’s really confusing, but…”
“And do you think I manipulated you into falling in love with me when you were only supposed to make a friend?” he asked quietly, finally turning to look at Charley. The stallion’s eyes took his breath away, and made him want to fall into him and never let him go. He had to hold back tears as he looked into the stallion’s soul, seeing the sadness and hurt Thunderlane had. Of course, he felt bad about the idea of hurting him. It made Charley feel downright terrible to think his words brought this on. The ending to this week wasn’t going how it was supposed to at all.
“Thunderlane, you’re not listening to what I’m saying,” Charley told him, pleading with him to get it. Why did he have to say anything in the first place? Why did this have to happen right now?
“We both manipulated each other. It’s not a big deal. I promise.”
“I… I’m gonna go,” he sighed as he stood up. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad, Charley.”
“Don’t go, Thunderlane.” Charley grabbed his wing the same way he did the mailmare’s at the beginning of the week. Right now though, it felt like more than just holding onto a pony. Somehow, he realized it was him holding on to life.
“It’s not a big deal. You didn’t hurt me. You’re just misinterpreting what I’m saying! That’s all!”
“I’m gonna go,” he whispered, pulling away. “I know you said you don’t want me to put you in a position to choose between yourself and me, and I promised I wouldn’t make you do that."
“Thunderlane, please…” How in the world had it gotten to this point? Wasn't he just kissing him last night? And now Thunderlane was staring into his eyes, feeling terrible that he might have hurt him.
There were no more words spoken as the stallion took off, leaving Charley sitting alone on the ledge.
Of course, this happened, and of course, it had to be at the last second. Why am I not surprised? Oh yeah, because it’s how everything ends up with me. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Apparently everything, since he barely even tried to make friends with anyone else, and the ones he did try to make friends with, he screamed at and cursed out. And now Thunderlane was upset with himself because of a dumb miscommunication error with Charley. Why didn’t he just lie and say he didn’t say that? Why couldn't Thunderlane just get it in his head that it wasn’t that big of a deal?
Because the issue is with you and your lack of fucking social skills, you fucking idiot. After everything, you deserve to be in this position. It’s what you get for not knowing how to even talk to people.
Charley sighed and closed his eyes, his breathing getting faster and faster and his body starting to shake until he screamed out loud in frustration. He fell down onto his back and put his head in his hooves as the angry tears streamed down his face. It was mostly at himself for not knowing what to say or do or how to talk to anyone. Maybe Death was right when he first talked to him. He had to be. Maybe it was his fault that his parents didn’t love him and that he worked a dead end job and has an ex-wife who didn’t want to see him. It was because he just didn’t know how to act. 
It was now his fault that Thunderlane was hurting as he felt awful for something Charley tried to convince him he didn't do.
A little bit of it was at Thunderlane and his foolishness, too. Why did he have to be so sensitive and care about Charley so much? So much that he probably fucked up his last chance to be happy over something so stupid. Why couldn’t they have just been friends? Or at least never notice that he was a mare. Things would be different right now if that was the case.
Can’t you fucking see that I’m an idiot, Thunderlane? he asked internally as he cried. You know I love you. You know I Iike being around you. Why can’t you just see that I’m dense as fuck and don’t know how to talk to people? You didn’t hurt me!
“And you’re still alone,” a familiar voice said. Charley was still crying when he heard it, and didn’t even bother to wipe his eyes as he looked up at Death. The look on his face was one of bitter disappointment as he stared right down at the pony before him. Charley’s heart beat out of his chest as he lay in front of him.
“I don’t believe I need to ask how it went,” Death said flatly. “Your face says it all. You failed, just like I suspected you would. I hoped you would prove me wrong though, but I’m not surprised.”
“I did prove you wrong!” he said back tearfully. “I made a friend! Thunderlane!”
“The friend that abandoned you not just a moment ago because of your actions?”
“I didn’t do anything! It was just a miscommunication! He doesn’t hate me! He’s my friend, and I… I love him…” He closed his eyes and sniffled as he turned away, whispering, “I’m so in love with him. There’s no one else I’ve ever been more attracted to.”
“That’s all well and good, but does he care about you?” Death asked. “Someone who cares would be by your side when you ask them to stay, but I watched him leave in spite of your pleading. That’s not care from what I can see. Will he remember who you are once it’s over for you?”
“Yes! He will! He won’t…” Who has he kidding? Thunderlane would just find someone else and spend time with them and forget about Charley. Death was absolutely right.
“I love him though… I made a friend,” he said quietly. “I did exactly what you said and made a friend. It’s not my fault that I was born with the worst luck possible. Just give me one more day and I can fix this.”
“You’re already well past due to be gone,” Death replied. He had a bit of sympathy in his voice, sympathy mixed with indifference somehow. His voice made it seem like he wanted to come here and have this be a happy ending.
“I told you before that you lasted so long in that hospital ward because I fought to get you an extension while I looked for someone who cared about you. You’re weeks past due to be done. I can’t give you one more minute.”
“Please don’t do this…”
“I have to do this,” Death sighed. Then he tapped his hip with his scythe, silently calling him to get up.
Charley didn’t resist, tearfully getting up and making his way over as Death conjured up a door, opening it to reveal the room with a thousand others they passed through on their way here. He watched Death step through, then turn to beckon Charley forward with his eyes.
It’s your own damn fault for all of this… you can’t even keep someone you actually love, someone who loves you. You’re getting exactly what you deserve right now.
Charley wiped his eyes and stepped through.
> Chapter Fourteen
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thunderlane laid on a cloud close to Charley, watching him. His eyes were on his long gold mane and tail and bluish-gray coat, watching silently as his friend laid on his back and let tears stream out. His green eyes were cutting through the scene against the bright white clouds. It made Thunderlane feel terrible to watch.
He really was hurting him. He knew that. Even if Charley tried to deny it, he was hurting because of Thunderlane’s actions. He explicitly said he didn’t want to be picked up, told him over and over that he’d only be here for a week and wasn’t looking to fall in love. And yet, somehow, he’d gone and done exactly that. Both of them had.
It wasn’t Charley’s fault that he had been swooped up by the stallion, especially with the way Thunderlane acted. Intentionally flirting with him, calling him a mare when he asked not to be. Charley probably understood that those things would make him feel happy and become more attracted to him. That’s why he said not to do them. And yet the pegasus had gone and done them anyway, and now here they were.
Was Thunderlane really manipulative like Charley said? Obviously he said it didn’t matter, but if it was making Charley cry right now for Thunderlane to be away from him, then it did. Was he really that oblivious to think he wasn’t?
He laid on the cloud feeling awful as he watched him, wishing there was something he could say as the sun set and the stars came out. He tried to think of something, but came up empty. What could he say? The most he’d be able to do was lay with him and be silent, but he didn’t want his presence to hurt Charley more, if it was. It was a difficult situation.
Suddenly though, a door appeared out of nowhere right next to Charley, taking Thunderlane by surprise. Through it came a tall, thin, lankish looking creature dressed in black, one carrying a scythe and a disappointed look in his eye. He was speaking to Charley, and Charley was speaking back to him, although Thunderlane couldn’t really make out what they were saying. Was this the pony Charley was supposed to go somewhere with?
Maybe not, because even from his position, the stallion could see how afraid Charley looked. He seemed like he was pleading with the creature for something, and the creature didn’t look like it was going to be relenting on whatever was about to happen. Then it directed him to get up, and Charley reluctantly did so, getting ready to follow it through the door.
Is that where he’s supposed to go? Thunderlane wondered as he watched him get up sadly, tiredly. What’s going on?
There was a pause where Charley sighed, seeming like this was the very last thing he wanted to do. A second later though, he was stepping into the door, continuing after the creature. 
Thunderlane blinked at the scene, feeling confused by everything that happened, before he floated down and stopped in front of where Charley and the other creature went through. The door looked normal enough, but a quick peek inside showed a place with a million other doors, looking like something straight out of a fantasy novel. He saw no sign of Charley inside, or the other creature either. In fact, he saw largely nothing, other than a bright white room filled with doors.
What in Celestia’s name is going on? he wondered. It was strange, that much was apparent. He wondered if he should go in after him, but remembered Charley saying he didn’t want to be stopped. Would he be upset if he chased after him?
He looked upset though, like this was the last thing he wanted to do… maybe I should talk to him?
He tried to think it over, but before long, he noticed the door disappearing, along with the place behind it. He had to make a decision about whether or not he was going to follow after him now.
He looked behind the door to see nothing but the city of Cloudsdale ahead, and then looked back into it. There was nothing to give him any indication of what to expect, nothing except the fact that it was disappearing, and would be gone in a few more moments.
He turned around for a second, considering his options, then, with just a moment to spare, jumped through the door right before it disappeared.
He tripped and fell on his hooves… hooves? Not hooves. They were hands, something he only knew from books about dragons. They didn’t have claws on them like a dragon, only broad, flat nails. They weren’t colored black any more like his hooves were, either, now more a dark brown. 
He was also kind of lanky looking, and wearing a black jacket and pants, showing off underneath the former a white shirt with his cutie mark on it. He didn’t have any trouble standing up, and when he did, noticed he didn’t have a tail, nor wings either. At least his mane was the same, still short and blue and bristly looking.
He didn’t know why, but he seemed inclined to walk on just his back two legs, which was something that happened without any trouble. He didn’t stop to consider the strangeness of this, instead looking around. Doors. Hundreds of doors. No, thousands. So many that he’d only taken a few steps and had already lost memory of which one it was he came through. They all looked exactly the same, no indication of any difference between them. It was quite weird.
Thunderlane turned to take in the room he was in, completing a three hundred and sixty degree spin as he viewed it. It all looked pretty much uniform, no distinction between any direction he happened to walk in. Or rather, almost. With careful enough looking, he found a spot of black in a see of endless white walls and doors, almost like a point of light shining through. He didn’t know how far away it was, but moved toward it anyway, figuring he might as well. It wasn’t like there was any other indication of where he should go.
He didn’t know how long it was he walked through the room, whether centuries or seconds, but before long, he found himself in a dark expanse of a space. There were bright, colorful clouds hanging above him, floating peacefully on by, as well as what seemed like stars painted against what had to be the sky. More important than that though was the faint sight he caught in the distance, one that sounded like somepony– someone– facing defeat. He didn’t think twice about heading toward it.
He walked towards the sound, and eventually came upon the same creature dressed in black that he saw before, along with someone else. It was the same creature as he and the other one was, and a female he could tell by the shape of its face and body. She had a medium length mane that fell to her shoulders, colored gold and completed with a purple bonnet with flowers on it, as well as light, white looking skin. She had on a black long sleeved shirt and tight looking dark blue pants, and painted black nails. For a strange looking creature, Thunderlane had to say she looked very pretty.
Her beauty factor was helped along by the green eyes she had, ones Thunderlane couldn’t possibly forget in such a short time since he’d spent almost a week looking into them. That, as well as the shy, embarrassed smile she wore when she saw him as she turned away, all but confirmed who she was.
“Hi, Thunderlane,” Charley got out, almost stuttering as her face turned a deep shade of red. “I didn’t think you’d be following me through.”
“What can I say?” he smiled coolly. “I couldn’t just let you leave without a hug and a kiss at least.” Her face somehow got more red as he continued, “Speaking of which: wow, you’re the prettiest mare I’ve ever seen. You’ve got every other pony beat.”
“S-stop it! I- I’m not that pretty, and I already told you I was a woman! It’s not like anything’s changed!”
“Of course not, sweetie,” he replied. “What was I thinking? I should be saying that you’re still the prettiest mare ever. My bad.”
“God damnit! You… mmm.” Charley tried to scowl, but couldn’t, only able to giggle happily to herself as she put her face in her hands.
“You’re just too easy to fluster,” Thunderlane finished, giving her a smile before bringing his eyes up to the other creature. Death, he somehow knew automatically. He was still holding a large scythe at his side, and looking at Thunderlane with a lot of relief in his eyes. Relief, mixed with sadness. As he did, he noticed Charley sniffle again and start to tear up.
“What’s going on here?” he asked.
“You got here… just in time…” She shut her eyes and cried for a second before suddenly running to him and wrapping her arms around him. He was ready for it, and let her lean into him as she pressed her head into his chest. It only lasted a few seconds before she moved in to kiss him, sinking her lips into his for a long moment.
“You’re nothing but amazing, Thunderlane,” she told him tearfully as she buried her head into his neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he replied sweetly, waiting a second before asking, “What exactly did I do though?”
“You were her friend,” the creature, Death, spoke. “Charley needed to find some creature who cared about her, and she found you. I have to admit, I didn’t think it would happen, but she did, and now she can pass on.”
“Pass on?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?” He turned to Charley, looking for an explanation as he asked, “You’re really going to die?”
“Yeah… I mean, maybe I’m already dead, I don’t know, but…” She took a breath as she said, “This is why I said I couldn’t stay. Because I need to be able to be myself.”
“You wouldn’t have had the choice either way,” Death said. “But it is a good thing he showed up. It seems I was wrong about you, Charley, something I’m glad for.” He sent a smile the two’s way, then let out a breath and said, “It’s time to go now, however.”
Both Charley and Thunderlane frowned, the former asking, “Can I have a minute first?”
“Only a minute. You’re weeks past due. We shouldn’t even be waiting one more second. But go ahead.”
She turned back to Thunderlane, automatically starting, “I don’t know how I got myself into this position… well, I do. It’s because I’m a fucking jackass. But still, I would do it all again if it meant I got to know you. I mean, I’m dumb enough that I’d do it all again regardless, but you get the point.”
“I do… but are you sure I’m not manipulating you into thinking that?” Thunderlane asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to make a little joke. He gave a little smile as Charley pushed him away and crossed her arms, turning around frustratedly.
“Are you gonna keep misinterpreting what I’m saying?” she asked. “Cause I don’t want to get into it again and have you get all upset if you will.”
“I’m just kidding, Charley,” he smiled. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around her chest and pulled her in, putting a kiss on her neck. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, settling into his embrace again as she gave a little sniffle.
“I love you so much, Thunderlane,” she whispered. “More than I ever have anyone else. I’m glad you tried to pick me up when you first saw me.”
“I wasn’t trying to pick you up, but I love you, too, Charley,” he replied, holding her close. 
It was a long moment, one that lasted forever, and yet didn’t last nearly long enough at the same time. It wasn’t long before Death was interrupting the two of them.
“It’s time to go, Charley, and for you to be getting back to Equestria, Thunderlane.”
He let her go, and turned her around to give her one last kiss before she started forward, looking up at Death. Neither had any idea what was going to happen, but figured it was a good sign when his scythe disappeared.
“Charley,” he started, sending a look her way before morphing his face into a happier expression. “Thank you for succeeding. You make my job a lot easier not having to go the route we were going to before.”
“Thank you for giving me the chance,” she replied, “even if you admitted you didn’t believe in me. I guess it’s fair though, since I barely believed in myself.”
“Then I think we both have Thunderlane to thank for this good fortune,” he said, sending a look his way. Charley gave him a teary eyed smile as Death said, “You should get going now. Time here isn’t really relative to Equestria, so the longer you stay, the more it begins to speed up. Your senses will guide you back to the door you came through.”
Thunderlane nodded in understanding as he said, “I will. I love you, Charley. I’m glad to have known you, and I won’t forget you.”
She sniffled again as a few tears ran down, her voice cracking as she said, “I love you Thunderlane. Thank you. For everything. This week was the best week of my entire life.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied in a whisper, sending her that kind smile that always made her smile, staring into her green eyes as he did so. A second later, Death was moving in front of her to do something, a hand touching her side. In another moment, she was starting to fade away.
I hate that she has to leave, but at least she finally gets to be happy, he thought to himself as he watched her. From what she said, her life has been shit. Awful parents, a job she can’t stand, a body she hates… at least she finally gets to be happy after so long.
Finally…
“Wait.”
Death stopped what he was doing, and Charley returned to being fully opaque as he suddenly said, "Let her go to Equestria.”
“What?”
“Thunderlane,” Charley started, her eyes wide and nervousness in her voice and on her face. “You said you wouldn’t do this. You promised you wouldn’t try to convince me to stay.”
“I know, but I can’t stand here and listen to you tell me that you had the best week of your life and now you have to go. It’s not right. You deserve a chance to be happy in real life. Not just in whatever this place is.”
“I’ve said this before to Charley, but it’s never fair,” Death told him. “Unfortunately though, that’s just the way life is. For every creature.”
“And I can’t be happy as a man,” she added, the nervousness in her voice able to be easily heard. “I cannot. It’s not gonna happen. If I have to live as a man again, I’m gonna end up in the exact same position as I was already in.”
“Well you’re a mare right now,” Thunderlane tried to argue. “Isn’t there any way you can just turn her into a mare when she goes back to Equestria? It shouldn't be that hard for someone like you, right?”
“That’s not the issue,” Death explained. “We’re on a schedule, and I should tell you that it’s extremely far behind. Behind by weeks. Charley should’ve been gone a month ago, but I kept looking for extensions for her to find someone who cares. We can’t extend it any further.”
Thunderlane let out a breath as he looked at his shoes, trying to consider something in his head. Both Death and Charley remained silent, waiting for him to speak. Charley’s hands practically shook as she waited, the time between the silence feeling like years before Thunderlane spoke again.
“What if I took Charley’s place?” he offered after an eternity.
“Thunderlane, no!”
“You have to make her a mare though,” he added quickly. “I don’t want to do this if you’re gonna turn her into a stallion. She has to be a mare.”
“Thunderlane, stop!” she yelled. “You can’t do this for me! You already did enough just being my friend! You can’t die for me!” She sounded almost angry at him by the idea of what he was proposing.
“Didn’t you hear what I told you before, sweetie?” he asked as he pushed his eyes into hers, giving her that smile again. “I said I loved you, too. You said you were dumb? Well imagine the kinds of dumb things a pony does for the pony they love.” Then he looked at Death, asking, “Can you do it?”
“I… don’t see why I can’t,” Death pondered. “As long as everything stacks up timewise at the end of both of your lives. Charley would take your remaining lifetime in an arrangement like that. I can’t divide it between the two of you however. Someone has to come with me, and it has to be right now.”
“Don’t you go, Thunderlane,” Charley said seriously, giving him a look that said she meant it. “You don’t have to do this for me, and can’t anyway! You have a little brother to take care of! You can’t give yourself up for me!”
“Like I said,” he chuckled, shaking his head and closing his eyes, “Love and friendship makes a pony act stupid. And I'm sure it doesn't need to be said that you'll take care of Rumble.”
“Thunderlane–”
“Charley,” he started before she could say anything. “If you’re only just now being a mare, then you deserve a chance to be happy as yourself. Alive.”
“Thunderlane…” She sniffed again as her voice cracked. She looked at him with eyes that saw right through him as she asked, “Why do you have to be so nice to me? I don’t deserve all of this.”
“Doesn’t matter if you deserve it,” he smiled. “I think you should be able to be happy.” Then he put his eyes back on Death and asked, “Will you turn her into a mare if I do this?”
“Yes, I will. She’ll take your place in Equestria and take on the rest of your lifespan. Is that acceptable?”
He let out a breath before nodding, then smiling at Charley. He watched Death touch her forehead, changing her into a pony– a mare of the same colors as she was when she was a stallion– before beckoning Thunderlane forward. He confidently stepped forward, stopping only for a moment to give Charley a kiss and a hug before he stood in front of Death in her place.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked carefully, raising an eyebrow. Thunderlane turned around to Charley before looking back up at Death and smiling.
“Yes, I am.”
“Wait.”
“No more waiting,” Death said. “We can’t spend hours on this. If this creature is willing to take your place–”
“I just want one more kiss from him,” she said quietly, looking at her hooves.
Death frowned, and let out a sigh. “Fine, but only one more. We have to get on with this, understand? Go ahead.”
Charley stepped up to Thunderlane and carefully began to pull him in. She stared into his eyes for a long moment, taking in his golden eyes, and never wanting the moment to end. And then, a second later, in a surprise move, she was latching onto his hand and galloping away with him.
“Whaa? What are you doing?” Thunderlane asked in surprise, not stopping as she led him. He turned around to see a shocked looking Death’s expression turn angry as he hurtled after the two of them.
“If I can be a mare and have you, then I’m not going to lose the opportunity!” she said with determination. “Don’t slow down!”
He didn’t dare, following closely behind her, the two taking only a few seconds to reach the room that contained the doors they passed through. Death was right on their heels, grabbing Thunderlane’s other hand and trying to pull him away from her.
“You can’t both go back to Equestria,” he said emotionlessly, speaking with authority. “One of you has to stay here. That’s the way it’s meant to be.”
“No!” Charley yelled. “Everything in my life up to this point has been bullshit! I’m not letting another bullshit thing happen to take what I want away from me!”
She roughly yanked Thunderlane away from him, sending Death tumbling backward as they fell forward. The two of them quickly scrambled back up and bounded further into the maze of doors, there being only a few seconds before Death was back up again as well and chasing after them.
“Where is it, where is it, where is it?” Charley muttered as they ran, Thunderlane glancing behind them to see Death just a few steps away. He had an absolutely angry look on his face, like he was going to murder them once he caught up. Or worse.
“Maybe we should try and apologize?” Thunderlane offered up, Charley dragging both of them forward. “We should stop now. We can't do this. I don’t want it to turn out that you–”
“No! I am not choosing! He told me to find someone who cares about me in a week, and I’m not throwing that away now! Now where is the door?”
They didn’t stop as they looked, scanning around until Thunderlane pointed it out. “There!” he called, pointing to a door that was still open by a crack. The two of them could see the night sky outside, and a few clouds below. Before they could get to it though, Death materialized in front of them, scythe extending out threateningly, an intense expression on his face. He brought them to a halt in front of the door, an inch away from the tip of his blade.
“Move,” Charley demanded, as though her words would do something.
“After the opportunity I gave you, after I fought for weeks to give you an extension on finding someone who cares for you, after adding another week to your life and sending you to the easiest place in history to find someone to care about you, you’re still going to act–”
“No! You said to make a friend, and I did! You expect me to just abandon Thunderlane after I spent an entire week with him? That’s not fucking fair!”
“I’ve already explained to you that nothing is ever fair,” he said frustratedly. “Don’t you understand that?”
“So what? Make it fair!”
“You expect me to just be able to make things fair?” Death asked. Charley sent a glare his way, and he sent back one of his own, the two locking eyes for a long moment. The two stared at each other, wondering who would blink first. Death intensified his gaze, and Charley furrowed her brow more, standing firm. She wasn’t going to give in. She was going to make him blink first.
After a long moment, Death did. A second later, he smiled, and chuckled to himself.
“You really do expect me to make it fair, don’t you?” he said. He let out a breath as he continued, “I guess this was inevitable, what with the instructions I gave you. The others aren’t going to be happy about it, but what can I do?”
“Huh?”
“Do you remember what I told you to do when I pushed you through this door?” he asked. 
“Yes, I do. You said to make a friend within a week, and I–”
“You’ve done more than that. You found some creature who cares enough to take your place in death, some creature you’d risk your own happiness to be with. I told you to spread your wings wide open and soar, and you’ve done exactly that it seems.”
“So then both Thunderlane and I can live in Equestria? And I can be a girl?” Charley asked. She looked at Thunderlane, who was smiling widely like he already knew the answer.
“I guess so. I seem not to have a say, what with you demanding I make it fair. I don’t know how I’m going to divide up the time, but I’ll sort that out somehow.” He let out another breath, then opened the door and stepped aside to let them pass through.
"Go on ahead," he said. "I guess I can't stop you for doing exactly what I told you to do. Make sure to keep spreading your wings wide open, and keep soaring."
Thunderlane walked through first, changing back into the pegasus he always was, before turning and waiting for Charley. She, too, took a step to head back through before Death stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Charley?” The mare turned around to see him smiling widely, apparently happy with how this turned out despite what she'd done.
“You really exceeded my expectations,” he told her. “Good job.”
She said no words, only smiling proudly before turning and jumping through the door into Equestria, spreading her wings wide wide open to soar next to Thunderlane.
> Chapter Fifteen
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charley and Thunderlane floated down to the ground of Ponyville, both wearing smiles on their faces. While Thunderlane might not have really understood what was about to happen, Charley did, and she couldn’t believe how it turned out. She didn’t ever think she could be herself, or have someone she genuinely felt for by her side, and yet here she was with both of those things. She was a mare with an absolute hunk of a stallion for a boyfriend… wait, was she?
“Thunderlane, does this mean we’re dating?” she asked suddenly, looking up at him.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. I mean, if you want to anyway. I did preen you after all, and save your life, and we kissed and stuff, so…”
“Don’t say ‘and stuff’! We didn’t do ‘and stuff’!” Her face was bright red by the thought of it, not that she didn’t want to. She would absolutely jump his bones the second he asked. It was a thought that made her smile internally. 
I’m an actual mare, dating an actual stallion for the first time ever, one who found me and put up with me and saved my life and made it possible for me to be myself…
She closed her eyes tightly and began to tear up again, a powerful feeling of happiness washing over her. Thunderlane moved up to hug her, but unexpectedly, when he did, she pushed him away.
“No! Don’t hug me!”
“Huh? What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”
“You’re not supposed to risk your life for me!” she said tearfully. “You would’ve been gone and then I would’ve been here alone and then what would I have done?”
“Then you would’ve still been a pretty mare,” he whispered with a little smile. 
“No! You’re not supposed to do that!” she yelled. “Don’t be a fucking idiot and risk your life for me!” He moved to wrap his hooves around her again, and she tried to push him away again, but didn’t put anywhere near the amount of force into it as she did before. She kept her eyes closed as he held onto her, letting her put her face in his neck. She was just a bit smaller than he was now they both noticed.
“If saving your friends when they’re about to die is a stupid thing to do, then I’m gonna be the biggest idiot of all time and keep doing it. It’s what stallions are supposed to do for pretty mares like you.”
“I’m not a… god damnit!” She smiled against her will at the nice words. She really was a mare, wasn’t she? She was a woman in real life. It was something she wished for about twenty years, and now this was actually who she was.
“You’re a pretty mare, and you’re just gonna have to deal with being called one forever now,” Thunderlane said, making her smile wider and blush harder. “I’m gonna tease you about it every day for the rest of your life.”
“Well, you’re not allowed to be a fucking idiot and try to die for me,” she huffed. “Even if it does mean I get to be a mare, and even if it feel… absolutely nice…” 
She started to tear up again, but wiped her eyes before she began full on crying. Then, she turned to Thunderlane and said, “I wanna get some dinner. If that’s okay with you, anyway.”
“Absolutely. I’m getting pretty hungry, too, what with all that… other stuff. We didn't eat anything since breakfast, have we? Wanna get some fish somewhere?”
“And have them mess it up and undercook it again? No thank you.” She frowned at the thought of it as she asked, “Is there anywhere else we can go?”
“Sugarcube Corner if you’re okay with eating desserts for dinner,” he offered. “Not really my style, but–”
“Well I’m a mare now, and I didn’t die, and I get to spend more time with you, so that calls for a celebration,” she said. “I could go for some ice cream cake… but Pinkie Pie works there, doesn’t she? I’m really not ready to see her and have her say something about all of this.”
“You’ll have to see her sometime,” Thunderlane said. “She might think you’re an entirely different pony, you don’t know. But I’d just get it out of the way now if I were you.”
“Ugh…” Charley sighed. “She’s fucking annoying, too. If I see her, it’ll only be a matter of time before I end up screaming and cursing her out again.”
“And I’ll be there to make sure that doesn’t happen,” he said, putting a wing on her shoulder. “Now come on. Let’s get something to eat.”
“Fine, I guess… but this is a bad idea.”



“Hi, Thunderlane!” Pinkie immediately greeted as she went up to the two’s booth to take their order. “Hi, Charley! Wow, you look different! And prettier! You’re like a totally different pony, even if you do still have that same big, old frown on your face. Oh! Oh! I know! I know! You look like a mare! If you’re a mare now, does this mean I get to call you a mare now? Can I, Charley? Pleeeease?”
“Wait, you told Pinkie Pie?” Thunderlane asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought I was, like, the very first pony you told."
“No, she just guessed randomly out of the blue because apparently everyone thinks I act like a girl.”
“Huh. Well, I guess if you’re a girl, you’re gonna act like a girl,” Thunderlane shrugged. Charley tried not to blush and smile at the comment, but couldn’t help herself. She got up and switched her spot at the table so she could sit next to him and lean into him and not have him look at her face so much when she got flustered and embarrassed.
“Please, Charley?” the hyperactive pink mare continued, hopping up and down as she asked. “Can I? Can I? Can I? I bet you’ll be super duper happy if I do! Please?”
“God, yes! I- I’m a mare, aren’t I?” she said exasperatedly. “You don’t need to ask now!”
“I super duper abso-tootly posi-lootely do need to ask, silly filly!” she jabbered. “Last time I did, you got all angry and stomped off and spent the whole night outside like a little miss grumpy pants, and I don’t want you to spend the night outside again if you’re staying with Thunderlane cause then he might be sad, and–”
“Yes, Pinkie, you can call me a mare! Can you take our order now, please? I didn’t want to talk about this before, and I certainly don’t wanna talk about it now.” She hid her face in Thunderlane's wing as she smiled at the words that were used to refer to her.
“Oh yeah! I almost forgot! How silly am I? Hehe!” She whipped a pen and notebook out of her mane as she asked, “What can I get you ma’am?”
Charley couldn’t stop her smile once again as she hid her head in her hooves, letting Thunderlane order for her. This was all so strange, and nice, being called a mare and feeling nice about herself for the first time ever. That was the main thing she took away. She felt nice. She was able to be herself as she sat next to someone– somepony– who cared about her, and showed it, too. It was unbelievable to imagine she’d ever be in this position, and yet here she was.
“You know,” Thunderlane said as she leaned into him after Pinkie Pie left, wearing a little smile, “I thought you’d lighten up and suddenly become bright and bubbly and outgoing now that you’re a mare. And yet, here you are, still being all grumpy.”
“Yeah, well, being a mare didn’t suddenly change my personality, so don’t go expecting me to be some fucking housewife who pumps out ten kids, because that shit’s not happening.”
“Awww, not even one?” Thunderlane asked, teasing her.
“Nope, not even one. I learned fifteen years ago that I hate kids, if you’re expecting that, you’re gonna be disappointed.”
“Well, that’s okay. Because you’re right. Kids are awful, even when they’re your little brother,” Thunderlane agreed. “But, um, do you… actually wanna date?” he asked. “I mean, I guess you do, and you already kind of live with me a little bit, but you know I have to ask again.”
“Yes, Thunderlane! Of course I do! God, this is… making me embarrassed…”
“Why are you embarrassed?”
 “Because I might be straight, but I’ve never dated a guy before,” she said, speaking kind of shyly. “I’ve only ever been with my ex wife, and, like, two other girls before her, and let me tell you, I didn’t like any of them. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m straight. It… doesn’t make it feel less embarrassing though. At least right now.”
“Well, luckily for you, I'm straight, too. Not to mention, you’ll have a nice, strong stallion to take care of you and make sure you’re not nervous, or embarrassed,” Thunderlane told her. He wrapped his hooves around her and pulled her close, and she made a small squeak as she pressed into him. It was a move she liked, and it wasn’t like they weren’t basically dating before. They already kissed. If that wasn’t dating, she didn’t know what was.
“Well, the other thing is that I’m not gonna change,” she said. “I might be a mare now, and it’s nice being myself– it feels amazing already– but like I said, I’m not gonna turn into some housewife or suddenly be best friends with that pink pony or things like that. I’m still me… although I’m a little more me. Basically, I’m still a dumbass and don’t know how to interact with people. It’s why I came here in the first place.”
“Of course you’re not gonna change,” the stallion smiled. “I wouldn’t expect you to, and I wouldn’t want you to. You’re perfect just the way you are, even when you act all angry and like you hate everyone and then secretly lean into my neck to smell my scent.”
“I- I didn’t do that!” she tried to lie, looking at her hooves.
“Yes you did, and it was very cute, and I wouldn’t want you to change, unless it was a change that made you happier.”
“What if I said that I actually hate being a mare and want to be a stallion again?” she asked. “I bet you’d want me to change then.”
“As long as you were still you, then I… would care because I’d have a lot of internal stuff to dig through, but still would love you.”
“Aww, you’re so nice,” she said, finishing the conversation. “Now what’s taking that mare so long? I want some ice cream cake.”
The conversation moved on with that, the two enjoying a dinner of dessert as they sat next to each other and enjoyed each other’s company.