> The Underlying Love in Your Heart
>  by stillwedding
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Obvious Pride in Your Eyes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the years you picked up many students, however, none of them were like Twilight Sparkle. Because none of them you cared for like how you cared for Twilight.

It was obvious to anyone that you have a caring nature. It could be attributed to your role as the benevolent ruler of Equestria– which in some regard, requires one in that position to have a caring nature in order to look out for a whole country with compassion and dignity. Yet, I recalled ever since we were young; you’ve always been caring and tender. But to her you were different.

Because you cared for her like no other. 

When you looked at Twilight, you looked with a spark of interest, one that rarely emerges. And within this gaze lies pride. When you first told me about her after my return from exile you were so proud. The way you spoke of her so highly was a drastic shift from how you spoke of others. Because when you mentioned her there wasn’t the hint of the mundane tone I know and seen all too well. 

I didn’t know why you acted differently towards her until you had told me about her immense power and raw abilities. But you had also told me about her love of books and organization with the same interest. To be quite frank, I thought it was unnecessary. We went from talking about how she could level a mountain to how her favourite figure of magic is Star Swirl the Bearded and how cute she looks when she gets excited about talking about magic. 

To be honest, I didn’t understand it at the time at all. I thought it was because you were trying to fill the void of our conversation with something more mundane just to carry on a conversation. I still listened as intently. And then I realized it was not only to converse more but because you hadn’t only cared about Twilight's abilities, you also cared about her character and everything that came with it. 

You cared about her hobbies and also took an interest in what she had to say. This added to my bewilderment because you were rarely amused or impressed these days after ruling this land for all these years. Don’t lie, you wouldn’t have been as immersed to hear the nobles explain their reading habits as you are to hear about Twilight’s.

Speaking of which, the nobles demand a certain image from you. The composed, calm, almighty image. The ideal image. And this image has only strengthened after every new threat and ridiculous favours they ask of you next. However, this facade had dropped when she was near you. You had allowed her to see your excitement, your open opinions without the subtle lies laced between, you had allowed her to see you at your worst and not just at your best. You had let her know you as more than the ruler. You had let her in. 

I suppose these small gestures of favouritism made it less of a shock when you had asked me to assist you after the invasion at Shining Armor and Cadance’s wedding. It wasn’t a conventional request- I seriously thought you were going to make me clean up Changeling goo. Instead, you gave me a demand. 

You had demanded me to guard her night after the wedding. Your voice wavered and shook, I couldn’t help to notice that tears were threatening to spill. I wonder if I had refused would you have cried and begged? It scares me to know that you probably would have. 

Actually, as I try to recall it now, I don’t know if it was a demand or a plea. Either way, you wanted, no- needed the reassurance that she was going to be able to have a peaceful rest. 

I wondered at the time before I was wiser, why her? Her of all ponies? The whole country was traumatized yet you wanted me to focus on one? And yet I still promised and I still guarded her slumber because seeing you so distraught over one pony was- truth be told, feigning.

But the worst part of the whole ordeal was your letters- the unsent ones and the multiple drafts below you were piling up below your bed. Nonetheless, they were all letters begging for her forgiveness. Each of them ended differently. “Sincerely Princess Celestia, Celestia, Your mentor, Yours truly, Celestia,” and my personal favourite, “Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, Ruler of the kingdom with the everlasting sun.” And the way you started the letters, “Dear Twilight, My dearest Twilight, My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” I’ve never seen you at such a loss before. 

I believe in the end you opted to apologize to her upfront. Why you were apologizing remains foggy but what was clear was your determination to set things right with her. And I’m confident you did considering how your apology to Twilight dwarfed your announcement to the country the next morning. It was just far less heart-felt than your apology. 

When I look back at that particular announcement I remember you also credited Twilight’s bravery and actions with the same pride in your eyes and heart.

Afterward, you wanted to send her to battle Sombra. The evil monster that enslaved an empire for years before we put a stop to it. Even then it took all our forces. And you wanted your student to face against that. 

I was skeptical. Not only because it was laughable but because I was afraid pride was overshadowing your ability to reason as a ruler. Because no one in their right mind would ever send anyone to fight that evil being. Not even if they so happened to be the most gifted unicorn since Star Swirl the Bearded or the fact that they possess boundless raw energy or had capabilities rivaling even us. Listing your excuses now they do seem to have merit considering all things said and done, but at the time your blinded faith scared me. 

When she came back unscathed I was rather surprised. Nonetheless, we both knew at that moment she was ready. And you were more than ready to allow her the pathway to her future. 

I knew you didn’t anticipate that future to house the return of Tirek when you were hesitant to send Twilight and her friends to defeat him and instead, decided on Discord. Although you had said it was strategic to have Discord face Tirek I knew you were lying. Your voice had the slightest trace of worry, avoided my eyes, and when Cadance objected to your decision you shut her down too quickly. The truth was, you cared for Twilight and wanted to shield her. Even if that meant putting the faith of our nation in Discord. 

And when she had the power of the moon, sun, and heart you still wanted her to hide. Even then you were caring for her and shielding her although you had no magic or might left inside of you.  

When we were imprisoned in Tartarus you had looked- no offense, horrible. The stresses of Tirek would’ve definitely kept you up and it was a valid excuse but the underlying reasoning was due to your concern of whether or not Twilight was safe. Despite the confirmation that she had won and beaten him, the worry hadn’t left your eyes. Only when you ran up to hug her were you able to let your worries go. The periods you spent after the encounter with Tirek were the most affectionate I’ve seen you. You held her so dearly to compensate for the concern you felt while imprisoned. 

I told you about her reoccurring night terrors. After all those confrontations anyone was bound to break. The way you comforted her though allowed her to sleep peacefully for the first time in a while.

As things returned back to normal I found you looking at the stained glass windows. You looked at hers, the one depicting her ascension, for a considerable amount of time. I believe the guards themselves thought their princess was broken and they were close to calling a physician. 

You were so serene. Yet that sereness would break the second Twilight was harmed.

It was your franticness that night that made me realize who exactly she was to you. When the letter Spike sent about an incident you had cancelled all your meetings and appointments. Very uncharacteristic for someone who would have still attended these meetings even on her deathbed. It was the way you flew to Ponyville at a record pace rivaling the Wonderbolts themselves. The sense of urgency in your posture and only when you got confirmation from me that she was asleep were you able to rest those tired eyes. 

Celestia, you see Twilight as a daughter. Or rather, you’re a mother to her. The extra lengths you take for her, which you don’t take for anyone else may I add, is so heart-warming. 

It’s the fact that you still have her macaroni portrait. Framed too, Celestia. Framed. And that mother’s day card too. And her letters. Also, the numerous photos of you and Twilight that you kept when she was just a mere child.

The way you recited childhood stories. Like the time you guys played in the snow and made snow-ponies without a care if the nobles saw you being “foolish.” Or when you gathered the leaves around the castle grounds in autumn so Twilight could jump in it. The times when you would stargaze together for hours. When you took her to the library. And the first day you showed her the Canterlot Archives.

But it was also the small things you do: you still make her favourite grilled cheese sandwich when she gets the chance to visit us at the castle and the time you travelled across Equestria with Spike for her birthday present. 

Or the little things you remember about her: her love for dark coffee, her passion for academia, her fear of quesadillas and ladybugs? The fact she likes vanilla ice cream. And obviously her love of books.

After all these endeavours, good and bad, you still held the same care for her and possess the same pride you had ever since you met her even after all this time. 

To everyone else you were a ruler, someone this land could always rely on. To Twilight you cared for her like a mother and shielded and protected her going to a multitude of lengths to keep her safe. For Twilight you took that extra step, for Twilight you were ready to risk all of Equestria to keep her safe.

Because the truth is Celestia, you love her. And I know she loves you too.