I'm Sorry

by Asterix

First published

Gena, a changeling nymph, found herself separated from her hive after Queen Chrysalis' plans to take Canterlot were thwarted.

If I had to explain what happened, I think it would be before I was born... it would start long before I was born, with the curse, yes, the curse was the beginning, the hate cursed us, although, it could be much earlier, no I could tell for sure. From the beginning, they have only tried to ruin everything for us, make us suffer. They seem to enjoy it, they even seem not to notice it, they seem not to notice us, but now they will.

Prologue. Siege

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Prologue. Siege

Two changeling corpses lay on the ground, their illusion spell was still active and the Red blood that covered them was still not the green color it should be.

Someone watched the entire scene, she saw when that changeling stabbed them with its spear, and she recognized them, even worse, she knew them. She discovered what happened to the traitors.


Chrysalis had already taken Canterlot, taking control of the city was a success, and most of the ponies had already been captured. The siege happened quickly. It was a blitzkrieg, the guards did not have time to react, and the changeling soldiers captured the entire Canterlot nobility at the castle, a perfect attack, forcing the royal guards to surrender, with no victims.

1. Living to serve the queen

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Chapter 1. Living to serve the queen

Frosty ran as fast as she could through the chaos, her legs ached and her lungs felt as if they were burning. She could not tell if the changelings were still chasing her, she was only focused on searching for a hiding place. The confusion reached her.

They just came out of nowhere. Frosty thought

Those shape-shifters. They began to take them as prisoners, separating them into groups.

The Canterlot Royal Guard was overnumbered, the Changeling Army was at least 10 times bigger

These creatures were certainly unique, they could disguise as anypony, their chitin was almost as hard as a rock, their ability to eat the magic contained in the feelings, or even their compound eyes, they seemed to have no soul. No one could tell what or who they were looking at, and of course, their legs, had holes that cut through these completely, they were the worst part, they seemed like some kind of scar, so big you can even see through them, they looked as if they were caused by the worst spell Somepony could cast.

They were the scariest thing anypony would see.


Gena walked through the train station. She had been assigned to the vigilance group. Due to her young age, she and her group were in charge of guarding and preventing ponies from escaping. in a way, it was the safest task, the chances of a pony escaping, once they have already been captured were low, however, she could not take this lightly, if somepony escaped and brought reinforcements, this mission would fail and she along with all her siblings would starve in the Tartarus for the rest of their lives.

Guarding the train station with her siblings wasn't her favorite thing. The other 9 changelings that were accompanying her were not comfortable working with each other either, in the hive they would spend most of the time trying to improve their illusion and Magic skills or doing their assigned tasks. Even though they were all the same age, they had never interacted that much with each other.

Their mission was to prevent someone from taking the train and escaping Canterlot, even if they already took the capital, the principal cities in Equestria had enough military forces to start a war with the changelings.

The queen spoke through the hive mind

"Change of plans, the new priority of everyone is to catch the bearers of the elements, even for the younglings," The queen announced through the hive mind.

"We split into two groups, Gena, Clypeus, Glossa, Gaster, and Tibia will stay at the train station, the other ones are coming with me," Someone said from behind as the second group started to follow him and leave.

It was Labrum, the one in charge, Gena couldn't imagine any reason why her brood mother would choose him over her, he was self-centered and bossy.

He doesn't even have good magic skills, he's just a narcissist changeling. Gena thought

There was a silent moment.

This was all weird to Gena, the plan was to make a non-victim attack, there had to be something wrong with the plan. The more Gena thought about it, the more she panicked.

“Who’s in charge now that we split up?” She asked.

“Probably the older changeling, duh!” Tibia said.

"Well, I guess I'm in charge now," Gaster said in a low tone.

"Okay then," Gena replied almost instantly, while she explored the train station.

Of all the changelings, Gaster was the one she liked the most, even though he hesitates a lot when making a decision, she would prefer him before Clypeus, even though he was the most emotional-sensitive changeling and probably the most magic skilled, he was bossy and apathetic when he was in charge, something ironic if you asked Gena, not to mention that he's been acting weird since the attack started.

"Are you sure that you want him as a leader? He doesn't know how to make decisions." Glossa said from behind.

"Come on, it will only be for today, there is no reason to fight," Gena replied, trying to defend her position.

"Ugh… Fine" Glossa replied with a resigned tone.

"Okay then, it's decided, now we should focus on the mission," Clypeus said, who, until now, had not said a word.

"What's eating you, Clypeus? You have been acting weird since we got here" Tibia said with her irritatingly high-pitched voice.

"It's nothing, I just… want this to end soon," He said.

"Oh no, you are not scared, are you?" Tibia replied with a mocking tone.

"It's not that! I just want this to be over soon, this place is making me fee–"

"Clypeus?" when Gena asked she looked at his face, and Clypeus' gaze went to the ticket office.

"I think… I just saw somepony at the ticket office," he replied.

“You sure? It wouldn’t make sense for a pony to hide there,” she answered

“Totally sure, I can barely taste its fear but there it is,” Clypeus said.

"Gena, you are the most stealthy, could you go check?" Gaster said.

"Sure," Gena said.

Why would he bother asking me? He is in charge, if I refuse I would receive punishment for insubordination, Gena thought.

As Gena started walking towards the ticket office, she remembered she was disguised as an adult changeling, that way she would intimidate ponies, but at that moment that was useless. So she undid her illusion spell, lowering her disguise, undoing the curse. In a way, it was better to be in her real form. The spells that the changelings cast inflicted terrible pain on them for as long as they performed them, and besides, being smaller would help her to go unnoticed. As she entered the office a feeling of being watched invaded her, it was empty. She examined the place but found nothing.

Clypeus must be going nuts, there's nothing here.

Just a moment before she started leaving, a loud bang echoed at the end of the office. Gena quickly disguised as an adult changeling again, the pain returned quickly, it felt like little needles that slowly passed through her chitin, reaching her skin.

She went deep inside to investigate. There was a basement at the end of the ticket office.

She went downstairs, it was dark, Gena decided to light up her horn, it caused pain to her, but it was better than getting ambushed by ponies. She looked at the basement, it seemed that they kept large amounts of Coal in there, perhaps it was in case the train ran out of fuel before reaching the refueling station, however, as time passed, a question became bigger, what if that sound was a pony? Could she kill a pony? She was told to do so if it's necessary, but, that's not right, it goes against the original plan, a perfect plan.

As she neared the bottom of the cellar, her footsteps creaked louder on the deteriorated wooden floor.

"Stop right there!" A voice interrupted her thoughts.

Gena froze, that sudden scream took her by surprise, she didn't know what to do, they never told her what to do in situations like these. She was just a worker changeling, she was supposed to take care of the hive, not to go outside and attack a city like Canterlot. Back in the hive, when the changelings were preparing for the attack, they just told her to keep themselves in their disguise, that they'd look intimidating enough to keep the ponies away from her.

She turned around to see where the voice was coming from, it was just a white unicorn filly.

She could be my age, Gena thought.

It looked like she was charging her horn with a blast spell. Gena was about to say something when the filly panicked and apparently, released her spell.

A long pink wave pushed her back.

"Ouch... h… how did you do that?” Gena asked with Fear.

Gena heard her voice, instead of an adult's voice, it was her real voice, she inspected herself and noticed that her transformation spell was off. She panicked, she had heard that ponies could release powerful spells, stronger than a changeling's.

Fear invaded them both. They stayed in different corners, Gena had the advantage, that filly was completely scared, and the rest of the group would come soon, however, Frosty was on the exit side and Gena had no idea what that filly could do. They remained silent in different corners of the room. Gena did not know how to counteract Frosty's magic, the simple act of casting a spell already cost her reserves of love magic, which meant every spell she cast brought her one step closer to starvation, and an unimaginable pain in her body, however, Frosty was scared too, it was convenient for Gena to stay that way, that way, she would not try casting any spell.

Why are the other ones taking so long? They must have noticed by now that I haven't been back with them. Gena started to panic

She heard some hoofsteps.

They finally came, Gena thought

Both fillies turned to see where the sound came from. Gena was anxious to get out of there. Unfortunately, Her corner was not next to the exit.

Frosty went upstairs so she could see who was approaching, peeking from the basement.

She looked out and to her surprise, Gena's hive-mates were not there, instead, she saw two royal guards and a pink dome in the sky.

confusion and fear slowly took over Gena, she could only see the shadows of what was outside, she could see the shadow of those royal guards approaching, something went bad, something went really really bad.

Frosty recognized that dome in the sky, it was the prince’s protection spell.

It was over.


Frosty ran as fast as she could through the chaos, her legs ached and her lungs felt as if they were burning. She hadn't even seen if the changelings were still chasing her, but she knew something, if she couldn't escape, she would be trapped in a dungeon with all the ponies in the city, with changelings watching them, or worse. in some kind of giant hive where they live, or in some kind of giant anthill… or linghill?

Wait! This is not the time to think about it.

She was almost there, she could see the train station, and… yes! Some ponies were waiting there too! Wait, no.

No, Frosty saw this as if life was laughing at her, fear began to take control of her as she discovered that those were not ponies.

She quickly hid in the ticket office, and for her luck, there was a basement where they kept fuel for the train, lots of coal.

Probably the changelings saw her, probably not, she was not sure at all.

She heard some hoofsteps. A changeling walked into the office. She was in trouble, at least it was not as tall as the other ones. She could tell that she was even smaller than her.

Frosty quickly hid inside the basement, there was a big shovel at the bottom and some empty bags. Perhaps they used the shovel to move the coal from the basement to the train.

Maybe I should use the shovel to knock out the changeling.

It was a heavy one, she realized while lifting it.

-Bang!

The shovel slipped from her magical grip and an audible thump was heard from the back of the office. If that changeling didn't notice her before, now it surely did.

"I'm doomed," She said to herself as the changeling started to approach.

As Gena went downstairs, Frosty started to charge her horn with a flash spell,

Maybe if she thought it was a blast spell, she would let me go.

Gena was already in the basement, she had not yet noticed Frosty's presence.

Frosty could swear the changeling looked smaller from afar. She was approaching, she looked a lot bigger once she was in front of her. Despair invaded her, it was only a matter of time before that changeling noticed her presence.

"Stop right there," Frosty said, almost yelling.

She was trembling. She had never seen something like a changeling. They were like insects.

Gena's attention was dragged to Frosty, It seemed that her plan had worked since she scared the changeling.

Now, what am I supposed to do? I am not going to stay here forever, the other changelings are going to catch me before I could leave.

Even if Frosty managed to escape from the ticket office, the changelings from outside would notice her.

"Maybe I should release my spell and run away," Frosty said to herself

The changeling was going to say something when a pink wave sent her to the back of the basement.

"Ouch… ho… how did you do that?" Gena said. She tried to cast a blast spell, but couldn't.

Frosty noticed that the changeling had gotten smaller than before. She was as surprised as Gena, her spell was just an enlightenment spell, just basic magic to illuminate a dark area, there was no way that Frosty could cast that spell.

She was confused and didn't know what to say.

It wasn't her spell, something else caused the magical wave, but she couldn't tell her. That way the changeling would stop being afraid of her, but if she kept lying, the changeling would call for help and they would take her somewhere else, just like they did with her parents.

They remained in different corners. In silence.

Gena's size was now almost half of an adult pony.

She was my size now, probably even smaller. Frosty thought, still shocked.


some minutes passed. They only exchanged glances, sometimes. Gena kept an eye on her. Frosty was on the exit side, cringed, there were more changelings outside, there was no way she could escape.

Frosty heard hoofsteps, several more, it was over, she would be taken by the changelings to a dungeon in the caves. She came out of the basement to peek. Frosty's expression changed to one of confusion as she saw two Royal Guards approaching.

Gena saw the shadow of the royal guards, she was confused, she leaned out as much as she could without approaching Frosty, the protection spell was now active, the protection spell, the one that only Prince shining armor could cast, that could only mean that her hive had failed to capture Canterlot. She was alone now.

She had to think fast.

She used her illusion spell and disguised as a light gray filly.

Now she only had to intimidate that filly, so she wouldn't give her away.

Gena quickly pounced on her.

"If you give me away, my last action will be to eat you alive," Gena said, almost whispering.

Frosty wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She just felt a constant lump in her throat. Once Gena got off her and stood up, she offered her hoof to get up. A second later, both fillies saw a pair of royal guards coming in, the same pair of guards Gena saw before.

Frosty couldn't understand what was going on, the changelings took control of the city, this had to be their plan, just to make fun of her

"Hey, you shouldn't be here," The first guard said, with a stern tone.

"We… we're sorry, we were… hiding… from the changelings," Gena said, she seemed scared, but she seemed to take control of the situation.

"If that's the case then you can come out, all the changelings were kicked out by princess cadence and prince shining armor with a protection spell." the same guard replied.

So that pink wave was the Prince's protection spell, not that filly’s doing. Gena thought.

"Oh… I understand, we will leave for our home then." Gena said as she grabbed Frosty’s leg and headed out.

"Oh no, we will take you to one of our tents, where we take care of the injured ponies, your parents must be looking for you, there, they will find you easily." The second guard explained.

Gena's expression changed abruptly. but the guards didn't seem to notice that. Perhaps, her plan was not going as expected.

"Okay, we will escort you two, so that way you will get there without getting lost." The first guard replied.

"Is that necessary?" She asked.

"We must protect the citizens, little one, now we will escort you and your friend to the tent."

Frosty couldn't tell if they were changelings or not, they acted just like a pony would. Everything changed when they left, there, Frosty could see the pink dome over the city, protecting the city.

2. The worst day ever

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Chapter 2. The worst day ever,

When they started to train us, they taught us that manipulating someone to do something by "Own choice'', was much more effective than a threat. Remembering that would have helped me a lot.

Those royal guards ruined everything, now that Filly and I are heading downtown. This is overwhelming, I could be working in the hive if it was not for this stupid invasion.

We could have replaced ponies from another city, with fewer defenses. but guess what! Instead, we tried to take control of one of the biggest cities in Equestria! And Now two royal guards are escorting me to one of the tents for the wounded ponies, and on top of that, that filly knows what I am.

Gena could taste the fear in Frosty. She wasn't planning to scare her but she had to. The die was cast and the only thing she could do was increase her chances, all of her hivemates were gone except for her, she was just a worker changeling, and they probably wouldn't even make the effort to come back for her.

The streets of Canterlot were relatively safe, the royal guards were patrolling every street, and Gena could see a guard on every corner and even more on the main avenues, she believed that the Royal Guard was crumbs compared to the Changeling army and it was, but even being ten times smaller than the changeling army, they could be at every corner of the city without even breaking a sweat.

It had something to do with the fact that Princess Celestia's garrison had been deployed with the others, but even without them, they still were a lot.

"Okay, we arrived, that young pony sitting at the desk will ask you some questions. Your parents must be looking for you, so they'll probably be picking you up soon." The royal guard said.

"Wait, are you just leaving us alone?" Frosty said with a concerned tone.

"You won't be alone, there are lots of ponies here, if something worries you, you can talk to the guard over there," He said while pointing to the corner of the tent, where a guard was on duty.

Gena knew she would be in serious trouble if Frosty said anything. She would have to keep a close eye on her to make sure Frosty didn't become a problem.

One of the things that Gena learned was how to infiltrate, she needed a good disguise, but above all, they taught her to mix with the ponies, and the first step was to earn their trust. If you earn the trust of just one pony, it will stay with you even in the worst of times, the pony will also bring lots of love to the infiltrator, food.

"Now, I just have to start a dialogue with her."

Gena caught sight of the white-coated filly and approached her.

"Hey," Gena said in a low tone.

Her expression said it all, she looked really scared, just as expected. Gena needed to do something to calm her down, otherwise, they would attract attention and get her in some trouble.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you, I just want to talk," She said.

Frosty was confused.

"how do I know that?"

"Because… If I attacked you right now... everybody would notice and I would be scrapped"

Looking at it from a certain point of view, she wasn't lying at all, but having said that, she only had to trust in the good faith of that filly. Analysis and problem-solving were always her forte, the social part was never.

"That… does make sense… I think" Frosty said, she still doubted the changeling's intentions, but that was a fair point.

"Manipulating, lying, and cheating were things for the infiltrators, not for the worker changelings, this is too much for me."

"Well, I just wanted to say sorry, I just… don't want to end up in some kind of dungeon," Gena explained, taking great care in her choice of words.

"You said you were gonna eat me," Frosty said. "How do I know you are not just lying?"

"Changelings don't eat ponies," Gena said.

A lie.

Frosty still doubted Gena's intentions, she couldn't just believe those who had just chased her around the city and she knew that perfectly, Gena had to bond with her if she pretended to keep herself alive.

"Gena," she whispered

Frosty gazed at her in confusion.

"My name is Gena," She said as she extended a hoof to her in greeting, those greetings that she once read in the hive’s forbidden library, nobody noticed her presence, not even the guards that were supposed to keep the library a secret only for the hive’s highest ranks.

She had read about greetings and hugs. The greetings were a social pony ritual where the pony in front, the one extending the hoof, meant no harm. Greetings conveyed enthusiasm and joy in meeting the pony to whom the hoof was extended, On the other hand, hugs meant that the pony who embraced the other in their hoofs cared deeply and had a strong affection for that pony.

A white-coated pony approached both fillies, she had a baby pink mane tied in a bun with a red ribbon.

"Hi, I hope I’m not interrupting something, I am in charge of keeping a record of all the foals who got separated from their parents, so if they come, we can locate you more easily." She said, rushing through her introduction.

In some strange way, the nurse had a relaxing voice, even though she was talking as fast as possible. That voice sounded very familiar, but without reminding her of anyone in particular. It was probably the sweetest voice she'd ever heard.

Gena also noticed the way the ponies behaved, especially the nurse; they acted strangely, always caring about others.

"Always looking first for others, that pony sure was weird." She thought

Apart from Frosty, she had never interacted with any ponies before. It all felt strange to her.

"Sorry, I’m in a hurry and I must be brief… what are your names?" The nurse said in a cheerful tone.

"I'm Frosty Flower." She replied

"And I am... Dew Drops" She said.

The Nurse wrote their names on a paper.

"Well, if you have any problems, feel free to find me," The nurse said, "I'll be at that desk doing… paperwork,'' she said with a dull tone when mentioning the last word, even her expression seemed lackluster as she glanced back at the enormous stack of papers.

Frosty was about to say something when Gena abruptly cut her off preventing Frosty from saying anything.

"We will, thanks," She said.

Even if being with the nurse made Gena feel comfortable, she would prefer to keep her away.

Gena continued to watch the nurse until she returned to her desk, perhaps to continue with paperwork, taking notes, and registering the injured and missing foals, when the nurse had moved far enough away that their conversation was no longer audible to her, Gena resumed speaking.

"Look, I'll understand if you don't trust me, you may have your reasons, but I would really appreciate it if you kept the secret."

She seems scared. Frosty thought

Silence filled the room, and mistrust lingered in Frosty's mind. She still had doubts about whether to believe Gena or not. However, the words echoed in her head, and she couldn't put her hoof on it, but there was something about them that sounded sincere. They remained like that for a while, a wall of silence between them, Surrounded by the incessant gallops of the ponies, as the prince had already mobilized all the royal guards.

"Fine," Frosty said "I won't say a thing."

"Thanks," Gena said relieved

"But I want to ask you something,"

"What is it?" Gena said

The silence came back until Frosty could muster the courage to ask her question.

"Why?" she asked.

"What?" She didn't quite understand what she was asking.

"Why did the changelings attack Canterlot? Do you hate us so much, or did you do it because you wanted to?" She asked bluntly.

"It's… not that simple," Gena said, trying to avoid the question.

"If the ponies learned more about us, a second attack would be impossible."

"Try me, I think I can understand," She Said.

"What? No, no no no, If my queen found out about this, I would be expelled from the hive... Or worse, be drained of my love reserves." Gena exclaimed almost terrified.

"So, you did it because your queen told you to? She seems like a tyrant to me"

"No! Not at all, it was necessary for our survival, we need to eat emotions to keep living," Gena replied, almost offended. "And for the record, the queen is compassionate to those who follow the rules she sets".

"And what happens if you don't follow her rules?" Frosty asked.

"I don’t intend to find out" Gena replied.

"But how can you be so sure she is not, you know, just lying to you all?" Frosty asked

"I know it's true because changelings need love to survive; we feed on emotions, and if we don't adhere to her rules, we face consequences. But we did it out of necessity; if we didn't, we'd starve," Gena replied, her voice filled with desperation, who, without shouting, answered morosely.

"But if changelings didn't attack Canterlot, the queen was going to punish you?" Frosty asked.

"It was… necessary, and I won't give more details,"

Frosty simply replied with an "Alright." She didn't want to ask any more questions, feeling that her words had somehow bothered her.

Then, another silence filled the room, those questions left Gena speechless; she was unprepared for that line of questioning. Amid all the silence, their gazes briefly met, and the time they kept their gazes locked, it might have been just a fraction of a second, but Frosty could swear she saw through Gena's disguise.

"Was it my imagination?" She thought. Even if it was, this action raised the question, 'Why?' She didn't even feel threatened when she saw her like that, even though she appeared rather menacing.

"She probably doesn't even know my name." She thought

She swiftly turned to her and conducted a brief assessment of her appearance. It was just her, taking the form of a light gray filly with a dark gray mane, Gena appeared to acknowledge her, but she remained unchanged, as if nothing had happened.

"It must’ve been my imagination, then," Frosty thought

"Now that I think about it, we never finished introducing ourselves," Frosty finally said, breaking the ice.

"Oh, that’s… right" Gena replied, perplexed, thinking she had already finished that pony ritual.

"Well, I suppose I should introduce myself then, my name is Frosty Flower, a pleasure to meet you,"

"Umm…"

"What's wrong?" Frosty asked, looking confused.

"I've never really introduced myself to another pony before. Actually, I don't think I've ever introduced myself, ever," Gena said, shyly.

This revelation, caused Frosty to giggle.

"Don't worry, you just have to shake the hoof of the other pony and get acquainted" Frosty reassured.

Unsure of what to do, Gena took Frosty's hoof and shook it.

"It’s nice to meet you, Gena," Frosty added with a smile.

For Gena, it felt like uncovering a new world, delving into pony customs and manners, and most importantly, they were nutritious. If she kept collecting information like this, perhaps her species could have a fighting chance against starvation. Who knows? Maybe the queen could reward her with a reward for her efforts.

“Be that as it may, I must find a way to escape from this place. Even with the taste of fear lingering in Canterlot, these kinds of gestures brought me some vitality back. It wasn't as much as I would have liked, but at least it would help maintain my disguise for a little longer.”

Frosty stayed silent, yet her curiosity was clear; it seemed as if she wanted to learn something about Gena and she seemed to notice this.

Gena recalled a valuable lesson from her time in the hive.

"The best way to manipulate a pony is to make them feel comfortable," Gena thought to herself.

"Is there something you wanted to ask me?" she inquired shrewdly.

"Yeah, actually," Frosty said in a low tone of voice

"So?"

"You see… I was wondering about your age," Frosty confessed.

"My age?" Gena thought, in a way, it made sense for Frosty to be curious about Gena's age. She had first seen her as an adult changeling in disguise, then in her true form as a youngling, and now she was disguised as a filly.

"Yeah, I was wondering how old are you,"

"You mean my winters?" Gena asked

"I don't know, what are those 'winters' you talk about?" Frosty said.

"You see, the elder changelings gauge our strength based on how many 'winters' we've survived. That's the way they decide which chores can be assigned to us, based on our strength," Gena explained.

Frosty couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

"Well, I guess you might call it something different, but in the end, it measures the same thing, right? So… how many 'winters' have you passed?" she asked with her ever-present smile

Hesitating about whether to answer or not, she finally gave her response.

"Eleven," Gena confessed

"Eleven winters?" "Frosty asked, making a concerted effort to avoid drawing any undue attention while in the medical tent." Frosty was taken aback by the realization.

"That scary changeling that had stalked me all day is my age!?" She thought in astonishment.

Gena could taste how Frosty's fear had completely vanished, bringing relief as she couldn't bear the bitter taste any longer. There were cases of changelings becoming intoxicated from consuming excessive negative emotions.

"You're almost the same age as me! I can't believe that this entire time, I was scared of a filly!" She exclaimed. Frosty's expressiveness elicited a shy and slight giggle from Gena.

“Well, you see, I’m still a youngling, not a filly,” Gena said

"Youngling?" She asked in a curious tone.

"Yes, I'm not a Pony, I'm a changeling," Gena explained

"Oh, I see…" Frosty exclaimed, "Anyways I'm sure you wouldn't have liked it if I said a changeling." Frosty said in a really low tone.

"I suppose that's true... thanks," Gena said at the end