> The Quiet Kid: Day by Day
>  by aegishailstorm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A (Somewhat) Unpleasnt Nightime Skirmish
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a clear skied starry night In Ponyville. the townsfolk were asleep, and the streets lay dark and empty, illuminated by only the moonlight, and the occasional streetlamp. Everything was quiet, however, in the nearby Everfree forest, this was not the case...

"Hey, ####heads, come at me!" A lone bipedal figure waved a shotgun into the darkness, clad in black armor, and sporting a pair of night vision goggles. Of course, this wasn't just any bipedal creature, this was a human, more specifically, William, who prided himself on his less than kind demeanor towards Equestria. But that wasn't what made him special, you you see, several years ago, he had been brought to Equestria by a group of rather infuriating Griffons, Changelings, and Dragons, which he had promptly err...put out  of their misery, you see, before he had disposed of them, they had hoped, key word there being 'hoped' that he would support them in their war against Equestria. They had given him the ability to magically summon any piece of human military hardware he so desired in the blink of an eye, they were so caught up with what he may have been able to do for them, that they didn't even stop to think that he may turn against them. And, after meeting the main six, and saving Ponyville from the combined forces of 3 hostile nations. He was sent back home, only to be brought back 4 years later at the age of 20. However, as a result of fate, dumb luck, or a combination of the 2, his friend, Joey, had also been brought to Equestria, both unwillingly and unknowingly, he was transformed into an alicorn. And, after a longer than necessary 'quest' to stop the Storm King, the 2 settled in Ponyville, adopting very, very different lifestyles. In the day's after the Storm Kings defeat, William had begun to grow restless, often disappearing from town during the night.


"Come at me abominations!" William prowled along the treeline, watching as the darkened figures as they stared back at him with glowing eyes. Most beings wouldn't dream of doing what he was doing, not even under threat of death, yet for some odd reason, he was doing it for pure entertainment.

"Hmm, I can see you in there, this is your last warning buddy, come out and let me finish you off, or I'm going in after you!" He raised his goggles, and swapped them out for a set of thermal's. He watched as the treeline lit up with dozens of towering figures, all watching him, sizing him up.

"Damn you all." He raised his shotgun, and began wildly firing into the bushes. He  watched in satisfaction as the being's heat signatures slowly faded off his HUD as their vitals were snuffed out by round after round of buckshot, the shotgun clicked on empty, and as soon as it had, William had already began slamming more shells into it. Calmly, and firmly. He let out a grunt of a satisfaction as the muzzle flash's illuminated the treeline. Tossing in a few fragmentation grenades for good measure. He listened as the creatures growls of intimidation turned to ones of terror and pain, the last few figures turned tail and ran off into the forest. William wanted to pursue, but decided against it, he had been caught off guard and ambushed to many times in this world to fall for it once more, taking one more glance at the forest. It was fun sure, but that didn't make it any less dangerous. He turned his back too the woods, and headed off back towards Ponyville.

"As hippie-like as this world may be, damn is it ever wonderful. At the very least, when noponies yelling in my ear." William thought to himself as he he strolled along the dirt road, looking up at the sky, then at his surroundings, he could hear crickets screeching in the distant. He was never much one for daytime, but at night time, when he was the only one awake, it was as though he had the entire world to himself. Plus, he never once had to squint.  He stood at the edge of town, gaze shifting from side to side as he examined the dark road's and alleyway's. He walked into town. With his nightly dose of "Fun"  more or less out of the way, he had decided to spend his time strolling though the streets of Ponyville. It wasn't long before a pony came in sight, an earth pony stallion in particular, with a brown mane and green fur, who, judging from his appearance, was out for a nighttime stroll just as William was.

"Perfect, just the thing to make my night." William said to himself. Whenever he came across lone ponies at night, he liked to play "Game's" With them so to speak, usually consisting of trying to sneak around them without alerting them, or, on occasion, speaking with them from the shadows. It varied, sometimes he would just try striking up a friendly conversation with them, acting as though he was just another pony, other times it would be a comedy skit, he would even, on occasion, tell them about earth. Ponies, once you get them to warm up to you, were surprisingly good listener's, or just watching them go about their evening routine's. Completely oblivious to the fact that he was watching their every step under the cover of darkness.  He slowly crept though an alley parallel to the road the earth pony was walking along, slipping behind a flower cart, with a ghillie  suit to match his surroundings.

"Heh, I own the night." He said to himself, there was more truth to the fact then most in this world would like to admit, since he had arrived back in Ponyville with his friend, these excursions had become an almost nightly occurrence, he had learned the general layout of every backroad and alleyway in Ponyville.

"Hey, you." He called out in a whisper. He watched as the stallion's ears perked up.

"H-Hello, who's there?" He asked nervously.


"Why, just your local, friendly poltergeist, how's your evening been?"

"Well, it's been alright I suppose, bit lonely, but other than that, nothing's gone wrong." The tone in William's voice changed to a low, deep, growling.

"You know, there are those in this world who dispose the company of others, who wish only to be left alone in solitude and silence." 

"You know, I really should be going..."  The stallion turned to run.

"Eh, go, stay, I don't care, nice to have met you little one. " The stallion could hear the rustling as a dark figure rushed out from behind a nearby flower cart and ran into the alley. The pony shrugged, and trotted in the opposite direction. He knew better than to go investigating strange noises in a town like this. William meanwhile, just walked back down the alleyway, rifle slung over his back. He casually walked back down the road to his house, one which, following his brutal disposing of the Storm King, the princesses had given to him as a gift. They had originally offered him an apartment in Canterlot, an idea which he had quickly shot down. Opting instead for a nice, 1,900 square foot, 2 story house on the edge of town, the only catch, was his neighbor, Joey. of all people, or rather, ponies, just like him, Joey had turned down the option of living in Canterlot, and settled into Ponyville, his house a good 300 feet down from where William resided.  In attempt to blend in with the others, unlike William, Joey had taken much more to Equestrian indoctrination, Ponies viewed and treated him as one of their own, he had even been offered a job at the local bakery, but had turned it down on account of him being horrible at cooking, last William had heard, he was even thinking of changing his name to something more befitting of a pony, the only thing that wasn't quiet complete was that fact that he didn't have a cutie mark, weather or not that would come in time remains to be seen. The thought of it made William sick, but than again, nearly everything foreign Equestria unnerved him in one way of another. He made it to the front door, but instead of using the handle, he pulled off a section of the door frame, revealing a keyboard, specially designed to not react the biology of any known Equestrian creature. Which, upon the entering of a 7 digit code, unlocked the door. 

He stepped inside, feeling once more a sense of ease and calm washed over him. You see, this wasn't just any middle class Equestrian home, as soon as it had fallen under his ownership, he had begun making "Modifications" to it, so to speak. Not much, just reinforced, bullet and magic proof wall reinforcement, gun racks, and a few other things that only a person like him would actively find comforting, tired, and with droopy eyes, after looking through door once more, and setting the perimeter alarms. He changed out of his armor into his pajamas, which, to say, wasn't much of a change at all, but regardless, he found the brown drab BDU fatigues comfortable. Walking upstairs to his bedroom, adorned with trophies of his victories. He collapsed on the bed, and drifted off to sleep.
> A Rude Awakening
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William found himself in a dark room, with no lighting.

"Uh, where am I?" He stumbled to his feet, and made for what appeared to be the exit. He pulled the hinge down, and peered outside. The hallway had a white tiled floor, and opaque windows on the side opposite of him.

"What the hell?" Cautiously, he stepped out into the hallway, suddenly, gunfire erupted from the far side of the hallway, forcing William back into the room, he slammed it shut. A moment later, the door swung open, reviling a pair of unmarked soldiers, clad in black armor, and carrying M4 Carbine's. One of them approached William, and raised his rifle to his shoulder.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" He yelled at them.

"Can it, pony!" One of the men hit him with the butt end of his rifle, sending him tumbling to the ground.

"Ow! Ok, that's it!" He raised his hand's to draw something to defend himself, but instead of a hand, he found a pair of hooves.

"No..."

"Night night, freak." The man pulled the trigger. Filling William's dream with red.


"Ahhh!!!" William sat up in his bed, and looked out his window, to find that it was already light outside.


"Heh, just another nightmare." He could hear knocking at his window.

"Hey, Quiet Kid, wake up!" He could hear his friend calling.

"Leave me alone!" He called back, covering his head with his pillow.

"Not a chance."

"Fine." William got to his feet and walked over to his bedroom window, pulling it open.

"Can I come in, my wings are getting sore." William chuckled.

"Not a chance, do you mind leaving me alone for 5 minutes until I'm, you know, fully awake?"\

"Oh, sure. See you in a bit!" He friend hovered away from the window.

"I can't stand him!" If you weren't already aware, constantly being surrounded by, and conversing with small, pastel colored magical horses wasn't exactly calming for a person's mental heath, much less so when you take into account that his friend was one of them.  William shook his head, and kicked open his bedroom door, walked downstairs, grabbed his favorite mug, and made some coffee, no sugar, milk, cold. He sat down on his couch, and sipped his coffee.

"Ah, thank myself for these soundproof walls."

"Hey, Will, buddy, it's been more than 5 minutes!" He could hear Joey banging on his front door.  Angered, he sat up, downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp, and walked to his front door.  Swinging open, to reveal the smiling face of his friend.

"Let's go!"

"For that, I'm going to cut off your wings, and feed them to the first eldritch abomination I see walk into town." He watched as his friends ears flattened against his head, and slowly began to back away from him.

"Heh, I'm joking, I'd never ground you, at least, not permanently. I've told you not to call me 'Will' before, have I not?"


"Oh, good." He watched as his friend, tried, and failed to compose himself.

"So, what is it that you were so eager to drag me out of my house for?" Joey paused.

"Uh, I just thought you'd like to see the newspaper headline's." His friend's horn lit up, and the newspaper appeared in William's hands. When he saw it, he frowned.

"Waking up to a warzone" 

"Keep reading." His friend insisted.

"While on a morning walk, a couple stumbled across what appeared to be the remains of several timber wolves at the edge of the Everfree forest, riddled with holes..."

"Let me guess, it was you?" William shrugged. 

"I haven't the slightest."

"Well, either way, that doesn't change the fact that there's a platoon of guardsponies headed this way.

"What, now!?" In a flash of light, William's drab brown fatigues where replaced by a set of heavy body armor, an M249 squad automatic weapon resting firmly in his grip.

"Where are they!" He racked the slide.

"Woah, woah, calm down, I just said they where on their way, not that they where here in Ponyville at this exact time."

"Why are they coming here, who sent them?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, how long do we have before they arrive?"

"Few hours maybe? Besides, they might not even be after you."

"No, Celestia only sends out her lackey's for important things. They've got to be after me."

"Well, let's just go and talk to Twilight about it, I'm sure she can get everything sorted out for you." Despite the uncertain look on Joey's face, William decided to go with him."

"Fine. I already know the way there." William began walking off towards the castle on the far side of town.

"Hey, wait up!" Joey took off, and flew after him.

He walked down the streets of Ponyville, cracking his knuckles as he did, now, most ponies never would never bat him an eye. Obviously, they weren't anywhere near the level of trying to make conversation with him in broad daylight, but at least now they weren't running in fright, they understood (Most of them at least) that as long as they didn't try to hurt him, he wouldn't hurt them. That didn't stop the general feeling of discomfort and awkwardness that always hung in the air, for the most part, he just ignored them. After about 15 minutes, he was on the other side of town, staring up at Twilight's castle.

"Damn did I ever miss a lot during those 4 years, but then again, that's why I'm here, least here, the residents are a bit more understanding." He walked up to the door, and knocked.

"Hey, Twilight, it's me, William, we need to talk!" He could hear rustling, and a few moments latter, the door swung open, revealing a very, very sleep deprived Twilight.

"What?"

"Heh, guess you're not a much of a morning person either, can I come in?" She nodded, and William swung the other door open, and stepped inside.

"Alright, why did Joey just tell me that the royal guard was on their way down here?"

"Uh, routine checkup?"

"Don't sass me lady, are they after me?"

"Look, all I know is that after an 'incident' in the Everfree forest last night, Celestia thought it would be best to send down some help."

"Where those her exact words?"

"Yes. They where, is there a reason you're asking me this."

"No, no reason, I was just curious." William did a 180, and stepped out of the castle, slamming the door behind him.

"What did she say? "Joey asked, hovering above William.

"Freakin' Celestia sent them, well, there's not much I can do now, except wait for them to show up." He grunted. 

"What if they try to arrest you?"

"Well, we all know how that would go down..." He chuckled, and patted the iron sights of his M249.  Joey, on the other hoof, wasn't quite as enthusiastic about the arrival of the Equestrian military. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to get into a firefight with them. Most of all, he feared that  after that, the princesses would attempt to use the elements of harmony on him, but that wasn't the worst part, the worst part was when he realized that they would lose. William spoke so casually about things that would drive any other sane sentient being insane. Well, except for one thing, after the Storm King's death, William had told him of his wish to be turned into a pony, this obviously, had taken him off guard, but, for the most part, he had just gone along with it, William made him swear that he would never tell another soul, with the exception of his explicit permission.

"Heh, as painful as it may have been, boy am I glad I ended up here of all places." He thought to himself as he followed William from overhead.
> My Hobbies Are Not To Be Questioned... Ever
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's good and all, but first, breakfast!" William casually walked down main street, and sat down at the fist restaurant he could find.

"What can I get for you?" Asked the waitress.

"An apple." He said simply.

"Just an apple?"

"Yep, one single apple." He tossed the waitress 2 bits, and she trotted of inside with his order, and came out with an apple.

"Thank you, keep the change." He gave her a nod, and stood back up.

"I've had my fill of social interaction for the morning." He headed for the center of town, right for the library.

"Hey William, I noticed something's off."

"What?"

Well, you never let anypony keep your change-"

"I'm in a rush, the sooner I get this whole thing over with, the better."


"Town center, the Equestrian military want's me, I ain't scared, let 'em at me!" Stepping into town square, he sat down at the first bench he could find, facing north, towards Canterlot.

"Your sure you aren't making to big a deal over this?" Joey asked William. He didn't respond.


"Do me a favor, throw this core away for me." William tossed Joey his apple core. The alicorn caught in a levitation field.

"I'm taking a nap, if anypony asks, I'm wide awake, and any attempt to annoy me will be met with deadly force, got it?" Not in the mood to pick a fight with him, Joey agreed. William let out a single yawn, and blacked out. Joey turned to to the bystanders.


"Alright, you heard the crazy human, everypony back!"


4 hours passed, and the whole time, Joey waited right by William's side. Finally, he spotted them, a flock of pegasi, clad in gold armor, with spears by their sides. They circled the town twice, before landing in town square, right in front of William's bench.

"Pst, buddy, they're here." William jumped of the bench, and ran for cover, posting up on a nearby house. M249 shouldered, he scanned the street, 30 pegasi, armed with spears. No unicorns, that would make it harder for them to try and restrain him.

"What do you want?" He sneered.

" Princess Celestia told us there was a disturbance in this town, sent us to check it out, you causing it?" William paused for a moment, and then responded.

"No. Leave now." He could see the faces of a few of the armored pegasi, he remembered them from the invasion of Canterlot. He knew they couldn't beat him. One of them stepped forward.

"Now hold on pal, do you know who you're talking to?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. A very lost and confused pegasus." Another one stepped forward.

"Hello, my names Captain Winger-" William tuned out the pegasi' bantering.  He realized something. The tone in their voices, their posture, everything, they were treating this like a hostage negotiation. He hated it when others acted like that.

"Cut the nonsense, you're here for me, aren't you? And don't lie to me."

"Well, Princess Celestia just told us that there was a disturbance, she did not say what it was. Look, we don't mean you any harm, you can come out." William hesitated for a moment." He left his cover, keeping his eyes trained on the pegasi. William looked at them, then at the bystanders, he began tabbing his foot, then looked down at his  M249, trying to remember something.

"Hey, what is it?" Joey asked.

"You've been so supportive of my exploits, so, I think I owe you all one song." As soon as he said that, Joeys face lit up in joy. He shook his hoof in a silent "Success!"

"This is for my name sake... All you little ponies with the colorful hooves, you better, run, better run, out run my gun..."

"Oh buck."

One slightly traumatizing pumped up kicks parody  musical number later...

To William's surprise, his attempt at singing, had drawn quite a crowd. Albeit, they weren't cheering for him, they were dead silent, wide eyed  with their faces plastered with a mixture of shock, terror, and confusion. The royal guard meanwhile had completely abandoned their defensive stance, instead opting to hid behind  the newly rebuilt library.

"You're all welcome." He said simply. They all just nodded in affirmation, and went back to doing whatever that had been doing prior.

"Well sir, I can tell there's nothing out of place here, I can see you're doing just fine, If you don't mind, we'll just be on our way." The platoon of pegasi stepped out of their hiding spot, and took off towards Canterlot.

"Have a nice day, I've always been a fan of pegasi!" He shouted back at them. Earning a few weird looks. He turned around, to find the main six. With looks of disbelief on their faces.

"So, what'ya  think?"

"How could you?" Joey asked.

"Well, I have been asked multiple times to join in on your own so called 'fun.' This is my own version of that. "Applejack was the first to respond.

"We took ya in, we tried to be friends with you... Unbelievable." Twilight and her friends began to walk away, Joey followed them.

"You are all welcome." William responded, he turned and walked off in the opposite direction "I'm not going to pretend I'm sorry, or sympathetic, because I'm not. " He walked, and walked, and walked, right out of Ponyville, right for the Everfree forest. As he truged his way he sighed. Looking up at the evening sky, Then at the dark forest ahead of him, he could hear the distant sounds of ponies, going about they're day, having fun, enjoying themselves.

"They don't even know it, I don't think they'll ever appreciate it, but I'm on they're side, I refuse to let them get to me, but first, I GO TO BLOW OF STEAM!" He pulled off the box magazine on his squad automatic weapon, despite the fact that it was full, he dropped it to the ground, just before it struck, it vanished in a flash of blue light. It reappeared in his gloved hands. Slowly, and menacingly , he reloaded his weapon, racking the action with slightly more force than was necessary. He slowly closed in on the treeline of the forest. As he got closer, he noticed the sun going down ever so slightly. he slung his M249 over his shoulder, and waved at the forest. The sun would go down soon, and the things that lurked within the forest, would be coming out soon.

"Hello boy's, I'm back!" He exclaimed in a triumphant tone. Grinning at the Independence day reference. 


"We've treated him so well, and look how he acts!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Yeah, every day, he walks around town, acting like he owns the place! "Rainbow Dash added.

"I still despise his taste in fashion!"  Rarity said.

"And he hates parties!" Pinkie said, making a pouty face.

"I agree, he's clearly dangerous, maybe we could contact Celestia and Luna, and have him imprisoned-"

"All of you, stop!" Joey shouted at the six.

"Listen, you all don't know him like I do, back a few years ago, when I was still human, me, Kyle, and Tia, where his only friends, ok? When we first met him, we found him siting on the far side of the cafeteria away from everyone else, he was talking to himself, everyone had heard rumor's about him, so, we decided to go over to meet him, and see what all the fuss was about. We found him reading a copy of Gun's and Ammo, at first, he didn't respond to us, but after a while, he let us sit with him, and once we got to know him, well... he was nothing like the rumor's, sure, he liked his privacy, he liked weapons, like, obsessively, and he talked to himself. He was honest, didn't ever lie about anything at least as far as I know, he had a tendency to be very authoritative, he may have been, and still is socially awkward, but no one ever bullied him. He once caught some kid trying to steal another kid's diabetes medication, literally dragged him all the way to admin. Best of all, he was funny, his presence always brightened up the room. And, don't tell him I told you this, but he's a rock hound, means he likes collecting rocks, gemstones, fossils, you name it. He collects them everywhere he goes. Don't bother asking him about it though, he'll deny it every time. He's not evil, he doesn't hate Equestria, he's just misunderstood. " Joey thought back to what William had told him earlier, but decided not to spill it to the six.

"Heh, I think we ought to keep him around, who's with me?" Rainbow raised her hoof, slowly, one by one, the rest of the six raised theirs's.
> The Lone Wanderer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William watched as the sun once more dropped below the horizon, and the moon rose in it's place, casting long shadows  though the trees of the Everfree forest. He trekked deeper and deeper into it, so far, he hadn't encountered any resistance whatsoever, no timber wolves, no manticores, none of those weird glowing bear things either, sure, he could hear rustling in the bushes around it, he wasn't worried, because as far as he was concerned, he was the most dangerous thing in this forest.

"Ah, the moon's out again, nothing's trying to eat me, and it's quiet, there isn't a pony in sight. Just like the old day's, me, by myself, in the middle of nowhere, weapon in hand. Without a care in the world.

He continued his way deeper into the forest, until he came to a clearing, one that looked all to familiar. At the end of it, was a ravine, and on the far side of it, an overgrown stone castle.

"This place eh? Looks abandoned, plus, I'm bored."  William looked up at the moon, it was still high in the sky.

"Still got plenty of time to get back to Ponyville before the sun rises. Just hope those 'Friends' Of mine don't go looking for me. He stepped to the edge of the cliff face, setting a hand on the old stone pillars which once held a fragile rope bridge.

"How the hell do I get over there? I'm to lazy to try and go the long way around so-"  He thought back to a documentary he had watched on climbing mount Everest back on earth. He pulled out an extending ladder, and set it at the edge of  cliff, anchored it with some tent spikes. He slowly extended it over the edge, all the way to the far side, a good 60 feet away.

"I swear, the length's I go to in order to preserve my sanity." He shook his head and began to craw across the ladder.


"Hey, William? William, we're sorry!" Joey knocked on his front  door, to no avail.

"Where else could he have gone? It's not like he knows anypony else, besides, it's  past midnight." Rainbow asked the group.

"I- I don't know, I do know that if he actually wanted to disappear and stay hidden, we'd never hear from him again. I suppose the only thing we can do is go to sleep and hope he comes back by morning, we can go out searching for him then, alright?"

"Well, alright then, I mean, it's not like anything can hurt him out there, right?" Applejack asked in turn.


William slowly crossed the gap, he looked down, the ravine bellow him was shrouded in fog, he couldn't see the bottom.

"Why do I put myself though this?" He scrambled to the other side, and once both feet where firmly planted on the ground, he snapped his finger, and the ladder bridge behind him disappeared, he looked along the pathway leading up to the defunct castle.

"Ah, always loved abandoned buildings." He continued off towards the castle.  As he got closer, he noticed that portions of it's outer walls were collapsed, likely from centuries of neglect, you can never have anything nice in a world like this. Gently, he pulled open the ancient wooden door, to his surprise, they swung aside with little effort, more oddly, the inside appeared to be well maintained, there where no major signs of struggle.

"Wonderful, just wonderful. I like this place already." he switched on the flashlight attached to the barrel of his M249, and began walking though the castle as though he owned it, marveling at the ornate ancient statues as he passed by them, this was something every brony ever had dreamed of doing, but to actually be here, looking at it all, was... well...amazing.

"Damn, with some revisions, this would make a nice outpost, eh, I like to keep abandoned building abandoned, trying to reclaim them just ruins that creepy, unsettling atmosphere that I love." He walked farther into the defunct castle, dropping his M249 to his sling, instead opting to use his helmet light.  He pasted though the hallways, about 10 minutes later, he came to a staircase. He peeked up towards the top, seeing that there was nothing there, he found himself in a large circular room, a large portion of the ceiling was collapsed, on the far side, he noticed scorch marks on the stone. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that they were the result of magic. He looked beyond them, and spotted a large pedestal.

"So, this is where they broke Nightmare Moon eh?" He stepped closer, hopping that he would find something interesting. But no, just the same scorched stone. Anything of value here had likely long been stolen, or lost to time. He looked though the windows, the moon was getting low in the sky.

"Well, I guess that's that, you know what, this might just be the only castle in all of Equestria that doesn't give me a mental aneurism every time I look at it. With that, he scrambled back over the rubble,  and walked out of the castle, heading back into the Everfree forest.

William walked back though the forest, glancing side to side as he did, at this point, the sun had already rose in the sky. William dreaded going back to Ponyville, despite his ego, he still dreaded what they might try to do to him, he didn't want to hurt his friend, or the main six for that matter, with a heavy sigh, he stepped out of the forest, exchanging his M249 for a much lighter  M4A1, topped with an EOtech sight  and a vertical fore grip. He stuck to the treeline as he made his way into town.  He watched as Ponies went about their business blissfully unaware that he was watching them, as always, it was him watching from the treeline, creeping though the shadows. And, he was ok with it. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. At least, that was what he though. He heard an all too familiar voice calling for him.

"William, come on, I know you're here, stop trying to hide from me!"

"Damnit Joey." He cursed under his breath.
> Secrets and Firearms
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William peaked out of the bush, he could see Joey, about 15 yards away from him, standing in the center of the road, calling out for him.

"Should I go out and greet him, I mean, on one hand, he did abandon me for the Equestrians, but then again, that alicorn is still my friend, more than any of them ever will be... Think William think!" He shook his head in frustriation, and made his decision.

"Hello, Joey." He scrambled out of the bushes.

"Were have you been?" He heard Joey ask. "We looked all over Ponyville, we couldn't find you-"

"I've been in the Everfree forest, 'exploring', it's the only escape I have from all of... this." He motioned to Ponyville.

"You are  the strangest person I've ever met." Joey responed as the 2 of them walked down the dirt road into town.

"I don't care. You ponies drive me insane."  The dirt  turned to cobble. As usual, none of the twnsfolk batted him an eye.

"Where's the six? I thought they'd want to be here to greet me." William said, changing the subject.

"I haven't the slightest, haven't heard from them all morning." William thought back to yesterday.

"I have more than a sneaking suspicion they're holed up in that castle of theirs."


"You mean the castle of friendship?" Joey asked with a snicker " I never much liked it's name either."

"Glad to hear it." The 2 of them made for the far side of town. On the way though, Joey asked William something which put him on edge.

"Why are you always missing?" William stopped, and turned to Joey.

"Watch yourself."

"What's  that supposed to mean? "William on kept walking.

"Hey, I convinced Twilight not to throw you in prison!" This made him stop.

"She was intending to do what with me?! That little ####!"He quickened his pace, setting his left hand on his holster, ignoring the M249 SAW still slung around his chest. 

"Hey, wait!" Joey galloped after him.


William walked up to Twilight's castle, and banged on the front door.

"Hey, idiots! I'm back!" There was no response.


"Twilight, it's me, William, your resident human! You wanted me back, here I am! "Still no response.

"Ugh, I'm not sure if Equestria has any laws against trespassing, but then again, I'm not one to care about Equestrian laws!" He raised his boot, and gave the door a firm kick. It swung open on the first try. He strolled on inside.


"Hey, Will-" Joey caught up with William, just in time to see him kick open the front door, and stepped inside.

"Leave him alone for one minute, he's acting like it's Armageddon." He shook his head, and trotted on after him.

"Hey, William, how do you even know if she's home or not?"

"I just know, don't contradict me." The 2 of them walked side by side down the ornately decorated crystalline hallways, until they came to the throne room. The doors were open, and he could hear the six bickering from inside. William walked in.

"Hello there, I'm back, per your request, what are you all talking back." All six of them, plus spike, and one he hadn't met before, all clustered around what appeared to be a holographic map, turned to face him.

"Where have you been?" Asked Rainbow "We looked all over Ponyville, we couldn't find a trace of you."

"I'm gonna stop you all right there, I don't ask about your problems, you don't ask about mine, understood. Except that I am asking about your problem, so I figure I'm obliged to tell y'all that I went on an 'excursion' to  the castle of the 2 sisters, I must say, it's a hell of a lot nicer than... whatever this is here." He gestured to the walls.

"Uh, I don't think I've met you before, name's  Starlight G-"

"I don't care. What's the issue?" Twilight stepped forward.

"Well, we were just talking about how so many creature's know nothing about friendship." William twitched.

"If they ain't in Equestria, then they have a right to they're own privacy."

"Unless you're proposing a non hostile takeover, god, I hate those, non hostile takeovers are for weak men and communists." 

"Uh, what's a communist?" Spike asked. William didn't respond.


" What you don't know won't hurt you, mortal."

"Aaannyyway, we're going to need help if we're going to teach them all about friendship, lots of help."

"Perhaps, but where does one go to learn about friendship?

"Here, they can all go here! We're gonna open a school."

"Damnit Twilight, also, where did the map come from?"

"That's a very long story, you see-"

"You know what, I don't have enough time for exposition, It probably came with the castle, correct?"


"Yes, you actually are." Twilight murmured. William walked over to it. Displeased at the fact that there where only six seats. As he gazed out across the map, ideas began to form in his head. 

"If only, if only."  He dreamily looked at it.

"What are ya looking at?" Applejack asked.

"N-N-nothing!" William face palmed, and turned back to the group.

"So, about that school for hippes? There was a long, awkward pause.

"No, noponies gonna add anything? Well, off we go. Do your thing Twilight."

Several hours latter in Canterlot..

"I think a school of friendship is a wonderful idea Twilight!" Celestia exclaimed as they trotted down a hallway. "I'll help in any way I can." Twilight glanced over into a classroom.

"I just have a few questions..." Twilight began frantically scrolling through her notes. After a while, Celestia put a stop to it, and grabbed her notes from her magical grasp.

"Twilight, you're my star pupil, if anyone knows how to run a school, its you."


"There's a big difference between attending a school, and running one, it's not like  there's a rule book to follow."


"Act-" Celestia was cut off when William's started shouting through a classroom window, much to the confusion and terror of the colts and fillies inside.


"Hah! Is that what you think Twilight!? Damn you couldn't be farther from the truth, there is! And for the record, I fully object to the prospect of creating a school for friendship." He turned to Celestia.


"Please tell me I'm right."

"Indeed you are, about the first thing, that is. The E.E.A guidebook is specific about how to run a school."

"The E.E.A? I've never heard of that, should I have heard about that?" Celestia chuckled, William on the other hand.

"It's not an inanimate object idiot! It's the organization responsible for managing Educational affairs' across Equestria. Get your pronouns right!"

"How did you know that?" Twilight asked.

"I'm not aloud to speak about that in the open, or anywhere, I'm just kidding, it's not that hard to figure out what something is based on context and vocal ques."


"Also correct, the Equestria Education Association is a group of ponies that oversee every school in Equestria."

"Even yours? But, you're you!"

"Not even a princess can do whatever she likes when it comes to shaping young ponies minds."


"Whatever you say ma'am." William said under his breath.
> Your Education System Is Broken... And It Ain't My Fault For Once!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William and the six stood outside the E.E.A  building in Canterlot. Waiting for the board to approve Twilight's proposal for a so called "School of Friendship"  He slumped up against the exterior wall, his M249 was gone, but his black armor, and sidearm remained.

"Sometimes, I just want to run off into the Everfree and never return, but I stay here, because I know Equestria needs me, plus, it's Equestria-" 

"Who are you even talking to?" He hard Applejack ask off to his right.

"Well, myself." 

"I know that to you it may seem like all Equestria's against ya, but that ain't true." 

"Eh, I know, but this world has a long history of turning it's back on creature's like me. Just ask Joey, actually don't, he's back in Ponyville because.... You know what, I don't know why he decided to stay home." He tapped his foot for a moment "And do mistake the tone in my voice for depression, it's nigh impossible to be depressed in a world like this, I just talk like this all the time."

"That still doesn't excuse you acting like a jerk al the time." Rainbow snarked.

"Your opinion is invalid. What else can I say? I always give my best."

"Ya sure have a strange way of showing it." 

"Thanks, I've given Twilight enough time to plead her case, I ought to stop her before it goes to far." He yanked open the door, and walked inside.  The interior resembled a court,  it was oddly dark and overly ominous for one. He had come in at just the perfect time.

"As school for ponies to learn how to protect themselves?" He hear the head one ask.

"Hello there, E.E.A board." He stood beside Twilight and Spike.

"Who are you? " This caught William off guard, after saving both Ponyville and Canterlot, he expected his name, or at least his alias be more well known.

"Seriously? I'm the human that saved Canterlot." He could hear murmurs from both sides of the stands.

"I see, why have you come here?"


"Simple, just wanted to keep 'princess' Twilight here in check, can't have her going to overboard with the whole friendship thing, in my experience, that leads to civil war. Don't ask for the context."

"And why should we take the opinion of one alien soldier over that of a princess?"

"Simple, I'm reasonable, I may not have the diplomatic edge that she does, or friends, well... I do have friends, for the most part, I'm a lone wolf, and you  know what? Do what you please, but when it all goes to hell, and it will go to hell. Please, come crying crying to me, because I'm the only thing in this world that can match said hell."

"Hmmm, that is a very...interesting way to put it. Well, you seem set in your way's, we'll give you that, we will have to put this to a vote, would you mind wait outside for a few minutes all 3 of you."

"But-"

"Enough princess." She scowled at William as they walked outside.

"Why are you against this, there's nothing evil, or malicious about friendship, why do you act like this? "William didn't respond, he folded his arms and slumped back up against a wall. Twilight turned to her friends. 

"We've been over this before Twi, we may never understand him, but he ain't hurtin' anything, at least, not for the moment." She sighed and hung her head low as they walked back inside.

"The council has come to the conclusion that the creation of a 'school of friendship' would indeed be beneficial and, being that your work is in order, provisional E.E.A approval is granted." Williams feeling of professionalism lasted all of 4 seconds before he lost it.


"What the #### is wrong with you ponies? I swear, someday, you'll regret your decision, all of you."

"And pray tell, how will we regret it?" A few of them asked with a haughty tone William recognized all to well, the voice tone of a person who wanted to victimize themselves, to act as though they where somehow morally superior to him, and he hated it.

"That's classified."

"By who, the princesses?"

"By me." He turned around, an M4A1 rifle appeared in his hand, he pushed open the doors of the chamber, and left without another word.

"My, what's his problem?"  One of the older council members asked.

"He's...well... let's just go with special, we've been trying to figure him out, to no avail." Twilight responded.

"Anyway... that aside, we will need to observe your school up and running before it can be fully accredited."


"Then please, join us for friends and family day, it'll be the perfect time to observe our progress!" Twilight beamed.


"I hate public gatherings!!!"  Williams voice rang out.

"Uh, how did he hear us?"

"That's a good question, I'm not really sure."

3 days later...

William  sat on the rooftop of the newly constructed school of friendship, much to his displeasure, so far, he couldn't find anything inherently wrong, aside from the eyesore of a paintjob. Below, he could hear the main six frantically running around, getting ready for it's  grand opening.

"Damn, I just hate this place so much. Oh look, here comes the crowd now and- wait, is that Joey!?" He peered though the Acog scope of an M14 EBR marksmen rifle. His scowl deepened. He watched as Joey shot up into the air and headed for the rooftop. William stood up, balancing on the  deep blue shingles of the building. Joey landed just in front of him, stumbling to find his balance.

"Hey William, noticed you up here, figured I'd visit."


"Hello there, I'm just wallowing in a pile of my own anger."


"That's understandable, but hey, why don't you go down and introduce yourself? You might find a few of them to be like minded."

"Not if they willingly went to a place like this, listen, Joey, there is a very good reason I don't like this place, and It's not just because of my general 'I'm not interested in caring about others, leave me to my firearms' demeanor, back on earth, I was right into my final year of collage when I was brought here."

"I fail to see how that is relevant."

"It isn't, I just hate schools." He climbed down the roof, and into an open window. Just left of the main hall. He took it upon himself to interrupt what appeared to be a motivational speech from Twilight, who simply ignored him, and swung the door open, revealing roughly a hundred Eqestrian creatures, much to Williams prolonged irritation.

"Well, that was unexpected." Pinkie butted in.

"Damn, I'm losing my will to continue on, pun intended."  He said nervously.

"Oh, students certainly traveled from far and wide to attend our school." Rarity said with a chuckle.

"Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms." Twilight responded. "After all, friendship is something that needs to be shared with everycreture."

"All these races, not a single Democratic Republic." William grumbled. Twilight trotted up to the head of the crowd.

"Welcome to the school of friendship, I'm your headmare Twilight Sparkle, please follow guidance councilor Starlight  to sign in and get your class assignment's, then we can show you your living quarters." William's eyes scanned the crowd from under his blackened tactical googles. Something he had learned long ago "You're always more intimidating when the enemy doesn't know who you are." A particular group cought his eye.  A light brown earth pony, and a blue gryphon. They seemed to get along reasonably well, then he heard a gruff voice call out what he could assumed was said gryphon's name. William didn't go in and introduce himself, he just watched from the corner of the room.  And to his surprise, none of the creatures had made any move to greet him. 

"Good, the less attention I draw to myself, the better."  He heard the front doors swing open.

"Ponies!" A grandiose voice called, by the looks of things, it was a yak. He watched as this so called 'Prince brotherhood' introduced what he assumed was his daughter.

"This Yona yak! She come to pony school, make it better!" William chuckled.


"Simple and brutal, maybe this whole thing won't be so bad after all-" His enthusiasm faded when this "Yona" proceeded to have what he could only assume was a small phycological breakdown, only to trip, and break several, slightly expensive things, luckily, Pinkie was there to stop her before it got any worse. He shifted is gaze back over to the center of the room, where a dragon was dragging her daughter into the school, forcefully.

"Heh, Karen's, every dimensions got 'em." This time around, it was spike who greeted them. His gaze shifted slightly beyond them, to a very odd looking dragon. William knew what it was the moment he laid eyes on it.

"Changeling." His hand drifted ever so slightly closer to the weapons safety. He watched as a second Changeling approached the first one.

"Sorry, she's shy." Was his excuse.  

"What is that!" He heard an energetic voice call out from the crowd. The Changeling transformed into an earth pony, and hid beneath  Fluttershy's mane.

"I miss the day's when I was just me and my rifle, alone, in the middle of nowhere." He said to himself. He watched as a hippogryph greeted the Changeling.

"Wait just a moment." He counted the individual beings he had just witnessed up. 

"Yep, six of them, just like I thought, Twilight's trying to find successors."


"Thank you for supporting the grand opening of our school, I hope you'll all join us for friends and family day to see the amazing progress you students are making." A cheer rose up from the crowd.

"Looks like schools in session." William groaned in anguish as the crowd began to sing.

"That's my time to bug out folks, I hope my presence made you every bit as uncomfortable as I intended!" William threw on a pair of noise canceling headphones.

"Much better." He followed the group of students, watching as they slowly fell into disrepair.

One song later...

"You know, I'm starting to think it's hardwired into every Equestrian being to join in when the singing starts, remember ,they're innocent William, there's no reason to put them down, I'll see how this goes!" He bickered to himself as he walked down the ornately decorated corridors. Going oddly unnoticed by the creatures around him.

"Is this what boring is? Am I bored?" He could hear the lavender hippogryph ask in a childish tone.

"Uh, please, these ponies are the heroes of Equestria?" he heard the dragon ask.

"Listen, these ponies saved all of us from the Storm King." William had heard enough. 

"Hello there, it was actually me who killed the storm king, although, you won't find that on any official record." William approached them.

"Uh, who are you?" The group asked, turning their heads to gaze up at the massive figure in black armor.

"Name's William, don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt you, but first, promise me you will never, ever, sing in my company again, got that?" They nodded.

"But why?" he heard ocellus ask.

"Simple, it 'bugs' me. I apologize if you found that offensive. I've been stalking y'all since the moment you stepped claw hoof/talon in this building, and I've got to say, I feel your pain, I've known these ponies far longer than you have. It ain't getting better."


"What would you have us do?" Asked Ember.

"Nothing, just go about your lives.  But take it from me, don't fight against each other, most of this friendship crap is just propaganda, but you're stuck here, so try to get along, I'll leave it at that." He looked out the windows.\

"Word of advice, I have I slightly more 'violent' way of dealing with those that wish to do me real harm, so if you hear gunshots later, just shelter in place. Running would make you 'collateral damage', and we can't have that now, can we?" He gave them a thumbs up, and left.
> For My Namesake: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oddly, this has been going better than I thought it would, I've only had 1 mental breakdown." William said to himself with a laugh as he sat on the windowsill of the first floor.

"This world may be colorful and infuriating, but I'm glad to see that there are a few elements of earth here." He sighed in satisfaction as he heard shouting coming from inside. Those creatures seemed to have gotten into an argument with they're so called "teachers".

"I just love watching others break down especially here." He watched as Applejack, Rainbow, and Starlight's defensiveness devolved into hopelessness.

"I  just can't believe it, fight's breakin' out when they should be learnin' friendship?"  He laughed when he heard those words come out of her mouth.

"Should I tell them that I asked them to fight? Nah."

"Things definitely aren't going as 'by the book' as Twilight planned." He heard Starlight sigh in defeat.

"That because we're terrible teachers, face it, this school, isn't gonna work." 

"So, will you admit I'm right?" William asked, slipping back through the window.

"One, no, and two, when did you start stalking everyone through windows?" William folded his arms in triumph.

"I have my ways, I'm surprised you only just noticed this, by the way, do you know where Joey is, haven't seen him since this morning." The three of them gave him a collective "I duno." And trotted off towards Twilights office.

"Damn, I wish my high school years were this exciting, but then again..." He swiveled around and gestured out the window.

"Annnd... There's no one here, one thing's for sure, I can drop the 'ponyisams' now." He breathed a sigh of relief, and headed off towards Twilight's office. 

"This reminds me of something that happened a while ago..."

5 years earlier...

William sat in front of the vice principal.

"I'm not in trouble, am I?" William asked, gruffly.

" No at least, not with me I don't know about my coworkers, Will, you're a good student, but one things bugging me, why is everyone else scared of you?"

"I'm not sure, honestly, I just really, really hate social interaction, uh, can I go now?" The vice principal sighed.

"Sure. Hope you have fun obsessively pacing back in forth outside my office  window." William gave him a thumbs up, swung his backpack back over his shoulder, and walked out.


"Ah, horrible times, Equestria may be corny, but it's more tolerable than whatever... That was." He swung open the door to Twilights office, and peered in. Who seemed just abut done addressing her friend's concerns. They turned away from her, and began walking out the door, Rainbow pushed them the rest of the way open, smacking William on his black ski mask covered  nose. He silently winced in pain, and walked in, eliciting a few glares of suspicion and annoyance from the six.

"Twilight, we need to talk!"

"Uh, what is it William? This better not be about shutting this school down, we all worked really hard to make this all happened, even your friend thinks it's a good idea."

"Yeah, well...Joey's...Joey, but that's not why I'm here, I'm here because of a particular collection of your students... I don't remember they're names, there's and earth pony, a gryphon, a dragon, a hippogriff, a yak, and a changeling."

"What about them?"

"I need you to... Uh, I can believe I'm asking this." He facepalmed.

"I need you to stop harassing them, let them act the way they want to act,  means none of you're damned friendship lessons, at least, not without me there to give approval."

"That's up to they're parents and the E.-"

"I don't give a #### what the E.E.A thinks. Trust me, It'll turn out for the better, just takes time, understood."


"Well... I can't promise you all of that, but I'll do my best." William thanked her, and, rather than using the door, made for the window directly behind Twilight. He pulled it open, and peered down.

"Uh, what are you doing, the exits that way!" She jabbed a hoof at the doors.

"Only 3 stories, not to far a climb." He stepped out onto the windowsill, and slammed it shut behind him, scrambling back over the building's rooftop.

"I swear, this place is like a playground to him." She shuddered at the thought of him actually acting normal.


William was aggressively pacing back in forth out in front of the school. Why? He wasn't quite sure. He decided to get something to eat, and turned to head inside, when he found that same group of creatures from earlier, galloping at top speed towards the exit.

"Hey! Where you you think y'all are going?" He stood in front of the group, arms folded.

"Uh, field trip?" The gryphon asked.


"Yeah sure, you're skipping class, don't worry, I ain't telling. I may be... 'Friends' with the six, but that doesn't mean I approve of any of... This. "He gestured to the building.


"Well, if you aren't against us, then why are you blocking us?" The dragon asked.

"Where are you going?"


"Uh... The lake?"


"Hmmm, fine, mine I go along with you, normally Joey would, but I haven't seen him around. And  I can't stand this place, it's to... Pink."

"Sure!" 

"Who's Joey?"

"White and blue alicorn, 'bout four and a halfish feet tall, very social? No, doesn't ring a bell?"

"Wait. There's a fifth alicorn?"

"Yes, he's not a prince. And you won't find much mention of him outside Ponyville."

"Cool! Can we meet him?"

"As I said, I don't know where he is. So, lake?"



"You're sure sticking to the book is going to work?" Starlight asked Twilight as the trotted though the schools interior courtyard."


"My friends can handle anything, they're have these problems turned around before we know it."

"Problems?" A voice called out as a shimmering poral appeared. Out of it stepped a tall whit unicorn with a disapproving scowl on his face.


"Chancellor Naysay! You're here! "The unicorn rolled his eyes.

"Yes, and you seem unprepared, if there are problems-" He began scribbling away on his clipboard.

"Problems? Heh, of course not! We can't wait to show you around." She nervously bit her lip, hopping that William wouldn't show up any time soon.
> For My Namesake: Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You defeated Chrysalis?, I don't believe it." Smolder countered as the group sat at the bank of a small lake.

"Oh, really? you don't believe me? Cover your ears."

"Why?" The group asked. An M82 Barrett appeared in Williams hands, he raised it to his shoulder, and took aim at a small oak tree on the far side of the lake.

"Do it." He said flatly, he depressed the trigger, and as soon as he had, the oak tree's trunk exploded in a shower of splinters.

"That's how." He waved they're gapping looks of surprise aside.

"What is that?" Sandbar asked.

"Classified."

"Wait, I still don't get it, are you like... The school's security guard or something?" Gallus questioned.

"No, as I said on the way over here, I'm a friend of Twilight, and, when you've got an alicorn as a friend, you don't exactly have much choice, trust me, I'd much rather be out in the Everfree forest."

"Why? I-It's sar-"

"Can it Ocellus, I've  dealt  with my fair share of cowards over the years, and let me tell you, I hated every moment of it, the only joy I felt was when I proved them wrong. remember, friendship may make you look good in the public eye, but when you're out... there," He pointed south, towards Ponyville " It's a whole 'nother ball game."

"Heh, this one gets me!" Gallus called out.

"Well, gryphon's where traditionally very warlike creatures."

"Nice meeting you all, now, if you could go and leave me alone, I would be grateful, I like my  privacy."

"Why? Silverstream asked. William fired several more rounds into the lake.

"I talk to myself."

"You serious?" They collectively asked him.

"Yes, I am, now, off you go-"

"Isn't this beach public access?" Sandbar asked.

"Well... yes, you know what? Fine. You can stay, I'll be over there if you need me." He strolled up the hill, and began pacing back and forth beneath  the largest tree he could find.

"He may be weird, but I do prefer him to our teachers." Gallus remarked, the group nodded in agreement.

"Do you really, I mean, he walks around in that armor, and the way he acts, I'd wager he could go up against the entire royal guard... and win"

"He actually did, last week anyway." A white alicorn with a deep blue mane appeared above the beach, and slowly descended, landing just ahead of them.

"Although, it's not like he won... I mean, don't get me wrong, he did give them quite a scare, but I doubt he would actually do anything to hurt any of them."

"Hey it's you! The alicorn William mentioned, Joey, right? Weird name for a pony."

"Yep, that's me, I've been thinking of changing it, but I decided to stay with it for the time being. What are you five up to?"

"Well, we where... On our way to the lake, and we met him on the way." Silverstream pointed a claw up at the top of the hill, where William was relentlessly pacing back and forth.

"Yep, that's William for you, don't worry, he may seem tough, but he's just a big softie." His expression of sarcasm faded when William turned away, and began his way back down towards the group. M4 in hand.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, mood swings. Just don't insult him, or annoy him. Or.. pester him."

"Hey, Joey! What was that about me being soft?" He walked up to him, and gave him a tug on his mane, causing him to jump back in pain.

"Ow! Comon, it's not like it was that bad, didn't you tell me-" William pinched his ear.

"Please, not a word about the pony thing."

"What 'pony' thing?" Smolder asked skeptically.

"We do not speak about that. Ever.

"... Ok."

"Hey, how about a race?" Joey Silverstream blurted out.

"Go on ahead, no giggling!" With a nod, Joey, and the 5, headed off. William watched, tapping the muzzle of his Barrett.

"I just remembered how much I hate the sand." He let out of a low growl of anger as he watched them from afar, watching as Silverstream, Gallus and Ember grabbed Sandbar and Yona, lifting them up into the air. 

"Why do I have to suffer thought this?" 

"Hey, William!" He heard Joey call out from behind him.

"Gah! How did you get back here so fast!?" William crawled back away.

"Little trick I learned from Rainbow, hey, you don't have any wings either, wanna give it a try? "William scoffed.

"What do you think? No-" Joey grabbed him by the arms, and lifted up into the air, hovering about 15 feet off the ground.

"AHHH! What are you doing!?" 

"Calm down, I'm not quite as unsteady as I was 2 weeks ago. Trust me." William blinked, and nodded.

"Alright!" Joey took off towards the other 5. After a while, Williams mood began to change.

"Heh, this isn't actually that bad, you aren't going to drop me, are you? I've had enough of that wingsuit to last me a lifetime, besides, we're so low to the ground, it wouldn't matter anyway."

"Don't worry, I ain't dropping you. You know, if you like flying that much, you could go talk to Twilight about-"

"No."

"Why not? I'd enjoy another pegasus to fly with!" William rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, no, I'll 'convert' when I please."

"I don't understand why you make such a big deal out of it. It's not permanant-"

"Yeah I know, it's just that, OH ####!!!" William  tugged his friends foreleg away.

"Hey, stop it, do you want to fall?"

"Over there!" Joey's head swiveled over, to see an enormous... Well, it was disturbing. 

"What the hell is that!?" Joey yelped.

"Swing me around, brace for recoil."

"Wait, what? Oh no... you're not going to try..."

Yes, now, do it!"

"-But the schools down there!"

"Hurry, it's getting closer!" Joey obliged, and a stinger guided missile appeared in Williams hands.

"Oh no!"

"Clear!"

"No William, not clear!" Joey screamed, being that the area which William had just proclaimed as 'clear!' in fact housed his wings. he could hear the quickening beeps from the launcher as it locked onto the monster in front of them. He peered down to see ponies running away in fright.

"I haven't killed anything all day!" William exclaimed. Joey yanked his wing away at the last second, just as the guided missile left the tube, much to Williams disappointment, it just barely missed the abomination in front of them, impacting the mountain behind the school. His sudden wing flap backwards had destabilized the both of them, sending them plummeting to the ground below. Instinctively, Joey pushed off William, gliding to the ground, leaving William to fall the remaining 18 feet, alone. He landed with the loudest shriek of pain that Joey had, and would, ever hear. He galloped over to him as fast as he could.

"William? William? Are you ok? I'm sorry!, It was an accident!" Joey began whimpering.

"Owww! Yes I'm ok, nothing feels broken, you can thank my armor for that, what's wrong with you?" He noticed that his friend had begun crying.

"Seriously!? You're crying? I'm the one who fell 2 stories! Don't let those pony genes get the better of you!" He snapped his fingers and gestured at the cloud of dust on the far side of the field. As it faded, it revealed those same creatures he had met earlier. Albeit, a bit shaken up, as soon as he spotted Ocellus, it all made sense.

"Oh ####, Joey, that wasn't a monster, it was that changeling over there." Joey wiped his tears away.

"Don't be too hard on them." Without another word, William pushed himself to his feet, wincing and grunting in pain, an M4 appeared back in his hands. He started off towards the 5. Silverstream was the first to catch eye of William.

"Uh, maybe skipping class wasn't the best idea-"

"How dare you?" He gazed past the rows of disoriented ponies, at a white unicorn he remembered from 3 days prior. At this point, he didn't care who was who, he was still writhing in pain, and somepon-no, someone was going to pay for this, and it sure as #### wasn't the mental train wreck  still whimpering behind him. The chancellor continued.

"This act of aggression against ponies-"

"Oh, you want to see aggression you piece of ####!? I'll ####in show you aggression!" He roared from across the field.

"Oh...I-It's you again..." The Chancellor looked around him, as if for a way out of this situation.

"The magic of friendship can't save you now little pony!" William cackled.
> You Can Trot on For a long Time...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William locked gazes with the Chancellor. Snarling with anger as the slowly approached the arrogant stallion.

"Just try, I could have the royal guard here in an instant-"

"Shut up." William said, the tone in his voice was raspy, he was still partially limping from the unfortunate fall earlier. A Mossberg 590 appeared in his hands, not the most effective shotgun in the world, but it would be more than sufficient for what he intended to do with it. As he expected. Twilight tried to stop him.

"William, think about this for a moment, he hasn't done anything wrong-"

"Quiet! I've had enough of your bantering for now. I've been neglected, harassed, and most recently, dropped from 2 stories up. I'm way past calm. And  I'm not taking my anger out on him...He's done nothing wrong, it's you, you- you Equestrians!" He stepped over Twilight, and looked him right in the eyes, his pupil's were full of terror.

"How pathetic, you know, I never made an oath to defend this world, or to uphold good. Go, get a head start if you please, I ####ing dare you." With one fluid, practiced movement, he racked the shotgun in one hand. Once more hearing the sound of a fresh incendiary round seat itself in the chamber.

"II-I'm sorry..." The chancellor murmured. 

"To late." To the horror of the crowd, he raised the shotgun, and brought it's synthetic stock down on the unicorns muzzle. He breathed out a sigh of relief as he did. As soon as he had, the weapon disappeared from sight. he crouched down on one knee and bent over to chancellor, somehow still upright, but clutching his bloody muzzle in shock as to what had just happened.

"No, I'm sorry, I never wanted this to happen, I'm still a big fan of ponies." He grabbed the unicorns hoof and gave it a single, firm, yet sarcastically long shake, then swiveled back to the crowd and clapped.

"So, cake?" About  half the ponies in the crowd collapsed where they stood. He peered over at Twilight, who seemed to be taking what he had just done to the deserving chancellor, quite well. Like, shockingly well.

"Ya welcome. "He whispered.

"Was awesome! Yak did not think pony school was this awesome! Maybe come here self!" He heard the yak chief call out.

"Glad someone appreciates me. " He limbed back over to Joey, who was still wiping the tears from his muzzle.

"You did nothing wrong, get up, I'm not going to coddle you." He told his friend.

"Yes. I am." The alicorn sniffled, and got to his hooves, wondering why William hadn't yelled at him more.

"Heh, guess I was right, looks like the Quiet Kid's got a bit of loyalty in him after all."

"The hell did you just say?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, you!  Don't think you're getting off easy!" He turned to the 5.

"Uhh, is we're sorry enough?"

"Damnit, y'all are to competent to be terminated. You can stay."  Resulting in a collecting of weak, confused smiles. He looked back at the Chancellor. Who was still in the process of being bandaged up.

"This school is closed." Taking Twilight off guard.

"This will never happen ever again, I promise."

"Regardless of promises, you failed to meet E.E.A standards, irresponsible teachers, students skipping class, endangering ponies, and... HIM!" He jabbed a hoof at William, who promptly responded with a raised middle finger.

"You let a manic on school grounds, oh, when Celestia hears about this..."

"It's just that, she ain't gonna hear about it, understood?" He patted his holster, where his trusty Glock 19 lay.

"Regardless, this school is still closed. And it's not just your fault, and you, get out off here!" He turned to the group of diplomats, and began jeering at them. As William expected, one by one, they left. He scowled, there wasn't a point in being happy anymore. The way things went in this world, Twilight would get her school back. No matter how hard William despised the idea of it. To his surprise, the Unicorn turned back to the damaged school. He tapped the seal on his robe, and horn began to glow bright orange.

"Oh no you don't, William drew his Glock, laid the horn in between the pistols sites, and pulled the trigger, again, and again, and again, it was to late, the spell activated, and a set of magical chains encompassed the school, sealing the main doors. The flash loose magic from the spells  activation had made Williams 3 round burst, which ad been aimed at the unicorns horn go high, slamming harmlessly into the treeline beyond.

"By order of the E.E.A, I am shutting this school down!" He collapsed in pain from the bruise on his muzzle. William walked up to him.

"You- You saw what I just did right? you don't scare me." His quivering spoke otherwise.

"I'll see you in Tartarus." He took aim aim at the star at the highest point of the school, steadied his hands. And opened fire, expending the remaining 12  FMJ rounds in the magazine. Of the 12 rounds, 7 struck the star, 5 went wide, impacting the mountain beyond, of the 7 that hit, 2 struck the center. As soon as he completed his show of force, he hit the magazine release with slightly more force then necessary. The spent mag disappeared just before it hit the ground as a fresh one appeared in his hand, inserting in into the chamber, he cycled the action, and placed the weapon back in his holster, the who 'demonstration' lasted all of 12 seconds. Leaving the six, Joey, the Chancellor, and the remaining ponies with looks of confusion, amazement, and horror plastered across their adorable equine faces.

"Ah, stress relief, just what I needed, that's why." A hatchet appeared in his hands. He turned away from the school, and mad for the confection table, scooping up a piece of chocolate cake with his gloves. He bit into it.

"Mmm, that's good cake, whoever made this, I commend you." He turned around, walked to the front door. And waited, eating his cake as he did.

"Well." The chancellor said, clearing his throat, "Until next time." He disappeared in a flash of white light. William took one good, long stare at the magical lock.

"Magic, meet Quiet Kid." He stuffed the rest of the cake into his mouth, and began violently hacking away at the lock.
> Yet another night in the woods
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

...Previously on My Little P- 

"Hey, what's going on in here!? Get out of my house!"

"Oh, where was I-"

"Ah! ####! Not again!" William eyes snapped open. Franticly, he looked around his bedroom, sighing in relief at the sight of the darkness. His window was still latched shut, and no one- Nopony had broken in.

"Ugh, I keep having nightmares of the past couple of day's, this friendship stuff is getting under my skin." He sat up, slinging his BDU clad legs over the side of the bed. Slowly, he stood up, looking around. The moonlight shone through the window, casting long shadows across what few things William had in his possession. He yawned, and stumbled over to the window, he pulled it open, and poked his head outside, looking out on the street. All quiet, not a single soul in sight.

"Ah, as much as I hate it, this'll will never get old." He stumbled down the stairs. It hadn't even been 12 hours since that damned unicorn had shut Twilight's 'school' down.

"Eh, I need coffee." He stepped off the stairs, and headed into his dark kitchen, switching on the single lantern on the countertop as he did, he swung open his cabinet, and reached inside.

"Well, guess I'm out, ahhh!!!" William screamed in frustration. 

"Well, that's that, no point staying mad." He slipped into a pair of combat boots, and headed outside, being sure to lock the door after him.  He went left, right out off town. His usual route. As he walked, he mind began to wander, as it always did.

"I wonder how Twilight's taking this?" He chuckled at the prospect of once more watching her famous nervous breakdowns.

"That's enough of ponies for the night, I know just the place to cure my boredom. And it sure as #### ain't near Ponyville." He gazed at the Everfree's treeline, and headed into it, though the forest, across a shallow river, once more across that precarious ladder bridge, back to that old abandoned castle.

"My precious." He thought as he walked though it's courtyard.

"This is by far the best place in the everfree, nice, dry, quiet, best of all, ponies hate this place, the think its haunted, I mean, can you believe that? Haunted! Well, given what I've seen in my travels, that might not be far fetched, but I ain't seen any ghosts yet." He paused, and sat down on a crumbling cobblestone divider. He had realized that he was talking aloud, and was immediately embarrassed by it. 

"Why should I be? this castle is mine. I don't care if the royal sisters owned it back in the day...  Hell, Luna doesn't even deal with my nightmare anymore. My castle, plus, the weather can't be beat." He slumped back, watching as the clouds pasted by. On  for the blackness of the night to change to blue in an instant, blinding William.

"Gah, WTF Celestia? You couldn't be considerate?" He heard win flaps in the distance. Very familiar wing flaps.

"Oh no, please tell me he didn't find me, not him, not now..." He looked into the sky, to see the vague form of a pony high above.

"Damnit." William cursed under his breath, he jumped into a nearby patch of bushes, being sure not to ruffle any branches, he threw on a ghillie suit, and lay in the decaying underbrush as silently and unmoving as he could.  He watched as the shadowy for above descended, and set down on the far side of the garden.

"Found you buddy, don't bother hiding, I know you're out there." William lay silent as Joey continued on.

"Listen, I just wanted to check and see if you're doing alright, I'll go if you want me to." William grunted, and immediately regretted it as his friend's ears swiveled around.

"Got ya." He watched helplessly as the alicorn trotted over to his hiding spot, and poked his head in.

"Why are you always hiding?" He heard him ask.

"I'm not your friend, I'm a patch of grass, don't eat me." William mocked as he lay facedown.

"Have it your way, by the way, Twilights thinking of reopening, she's gonna head down to the E.E.A later today, whatd'ya say?" William groaned, and stood up.

"Fine, please never come here again, this is the only place in Equestria that doesn't actively repulse me.

"Really? This place?" Joey looked around at the overgrown, crumbling ruins with slight disgust.

"Listen, I don't care that you can fly, or that you can levitate things at a thought, I need my peace and quiet. But I'll go with you, the suns up, and these ruins ain't as pleasant with the sun beating down on 'em."

"Great!" Joey smiled, and  smiled, he flared his wings, and shot up into the air, hovering at about 6 feet.

"You need any help getting back?" He asked.

"No, and on second thought, I may be the slightest bit jealous, another time though." Joey nodded, he understood exactly what William meant by that. The 2 of them headed off towards Ponyville. 

"Hey, where were you guys this whole time!?" The both of them heard Rainbow Dash call from above them. She had spotted them walking back into town.

"That's classified, where's the other five?" William questioned.

"They headed off to try and convince the other kingdoms to send they're students back, I'm off to the griffons, wanna come with me?" The 2 of them looked at one another, and shook their heads.

"No, Joey here doesn't have the energy, and I don't have wings, so no, we'll just stay in town."

"...Alright... Don't break anything..." She eyed William, and took off in a flash of rainbow light.

"Hey, physics, #### you!" William murmured." So, what now?"

"Well... the six are off trying to earn the others favors back, we've got the town to ourselves!"

"Well, what do we do with it?"

"I haven't the slightest, I'm hungry, you?"

"Yeah, I'm in the mood for some daisies." William scowled.

"Please tell me you haven't actually tried flowers, much less liked them."

"Yep, they're great, you should try them. No, really, you should!" The both of them chuckled.

"I have, they taste like chlorophyll and green hell. And I sure as #### ain't changing my tastes any time soon."

"You know, if I wanted, I could learn a few transformation spells-"

"I'd like to see you try, pony." The both of them let out uncomfortable laughs.
> A Student Of Sorts...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Home sweet home!"William swung the door of his house aside, letting Joey in.

"It's...nice." Joey said uncomfortably as he looked at the bland brown and grey walls, lined with firearms, military hardware, and canned food, on the eastern side of the living room lay the only paintings in sight, a photo of a lone solider, treading his way through what appeared to be a redwood forest. Ponies were usually creatures of color, they loved painting's, and extravagant interior decorations  in general. William, was the near exact opposite, but then again, he was no pony. And last but not least, a bookshelf, half empty.

"That's a lie, sit down."

the 2 off them slumped back on William's couch, Joey had a half dozen pancakes, topped with syrup and daisies. William, had a hashbrown, and a cup of coffee.


"Mm, so what plans you got for later?" Joey asked William in between bites of his food.

"I'm not saying, be lucky I invited you, most ponies will never step foo-hoof in here, least not while I'm around to defend this place, does Equestria have castle law? Actually, don't answer that."


"I wasn't planning too." He responded. William rolled his eyes and set his empty plate aside.

"Thing about this world, there's no routine. It's either keeping the six and they're compatriots in check, or you, or mercilessly beating some poor monster to death with bullets, or hiking." William paced back in forth behind the couch.

"Well, there is one thing." He turned to Joey.

"How'd you like to learn how to shoot?"

"Uh, that wasn't really what I was planning, but since you're clearly desperate for social  interaction, I'll go along with it, besides, I've always wondered what you're obsession's stemmed from."

"Well, lets go." William unlocked the back door, and stepped outside. He spotted a tree, 20 yards away from the back porch, with a big, round, smooth trunk. Perfect for target practice. He walked up to it, drew a hatchet, and  carved a jagged bullseye into it, then paced back to Joey.


"Alright... what now?" William chuckled, and an Ruger 9MM carbine appeared in his grasp, unloaded, of course. 

"Ruger carbine, low recoil, fun size caliber, accurate, perfect for newcomers like you." He went to hand it to his friend, then stopped.


"Oh, you don't...you don't have hands, right, any chance you can hold it with that magic of yours?"

"I can try." A blue glow engulfed both Joey's horn, and the weapons stock, William yanked it back before he could fully grasp it.

"First, couple basic rules. Just so you don't accidentally shoot me."

1. Treat every gun you hold as if it was loaded, meaning don't go finicking around with the mechanisms unless I give the ok.

2. Do not point the muzzle at anything you do not intend to destroy.

3. Keep a firm grip on it with your magic.

4. My firearms, my rules, this is a one time deal, got that?

Joey paused for a moment, and gave William a firm nod of affirmation.

"Good, here you go." William loosed his grip on the carbine, and it flew into Joey's gasp, hovering at his eye level. A magazine of 9MM full metal jacket range ammunition appeared in William's hands. He helped Joey seat it firmly in the chamber. 

"Now, rack the bolt." Joey did as told.

"Alright, now, look through the iron sights, line up the front sights, with the back ones- Great, just like that! Now, aim for the center of that bullseye I carved over there. Wait, one more thing before you fire." Williams body was engulfed in a flash of emerald green light, when it faded, he was covered from head to toe in bomb technician armor.

"Just a precaution, now, fire!" Joey winced, and squeezed the trigger with his magic, the carbine jolted back slightly, sending the 9x 19 MM projectile into the tree, roughly 20 yards away.

"How'd I do?" William examined the tree, his friend had struck the target 3 inches left of center mass.

"pretty good, for a first timer, by the way, you're free to mag dump the remaining 14 rounds." William hurried back behind Joey, and gave I'm the ok to keep firing, one by one, the rounds left the muzzle smacking the tree. Eventually, the weapon clicked on empty, and the weapon disappeared from Joey's grasp.

"That's enough, don't want you getting to good, oh what am I saying, they're my guns." Joey laughed alongside him.

"That was awesome William, tell you what, you thought me to shoot, how about I teach you to fly?" Williams demeanor changed in an instant.

"You're implying about turning me into a - no. Just no." He started back into the house.

"Sooner or later, you're going to say yes, I know you will. "Besides, even if you don't I could always ask Twilight to do it, or, 
ya'know?' He gestured to his horn.

"Don't even think about it. Don't make me regret teaching you about my favorite pastime." Joey shrugged, and trotted past him to leave. When all of a sudden, there was a knock at the front door.

"Hold it Joey." William stepped forward, and peered through the eyehole. It was Rainbow Dash, Starlight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Applejack.

"Hey, William, we need your help with something!" Rainbow shouted. He unlocked the door, and swung it open.

"What?"


"We think we have a lead on our missing students-"


"What missing students? And how the hell did y'all get back here so fast!?" Pinkie rushed through an explanation of what he had missed.

"And you're following Sandbar around, hopping he leads you to them, and you want me to help you?"

"Yes, quickly, before he gets away!"

"Finally you ask me to do something I'm interested in!" His forest pattern BDU fatigues where replaced by a similarly colored  set of battle kit, what he referred to a 'casual wear' much to Rarities displeasure. He stepped outside.

"Well? Lead the way." He beckoned for them to go on ahead.


"Should we be worried he looks a little to excited?" Applejack asked the rest.

"You ought to let him be." Joey informed the rest of the group, "I'd be best if you let him have his fun, however odd it may be."

William prowled through the bushes, watching as Sandbar headed out of town, carrying a stack of cupcake boxes, and dragging a set of carts behind him. The six, and Joey where close behind. He watched as the lone Earth pony made his way towards the Everfree.

"Now what do we have here?" He popped out of the treeline.

"It's you!? Y-you're not still mad at me are you?" He stuttered.

"Nah, I see you've got yourself some cupcakes, you headin' back to your friends?" He could see the nervousness in his eyes.

"Hey, don't worry about it, i couldn't help but notice you were heading for the Everfree forest, mind if I come with you?" The pony backed up, and slowly nodded.

"Great, tell you what, give me a few of those boxes, I'll carry 'em for you, don't expect any more sympathy from me though." The 2 of them headed into the forest.

"Heh, Iove this place, it's quiet, ominous, and quiet. Plus, nopony in they're so called 'right mind' would ever go in here fore fun." William continued as they drew deeper into the forest.

"There." Sandbar pointed to a collection of overgrown ruins in the distance.

"Heh, I was just here last night, I love this place." William said, picking up pace. Finally, he heard a voice call out.

"Hey, guys! Sandbars back, and, oh..." It was Silverstream. He watched as the ancient, crumbling wooden door swung open, revealing the 4 missing students.

"Oh, its you." The rest of them paused.

"What do you want?" Smolder demanded.

"Well, as it happens, I love this place, heck, I'm here every night. Plus, you're far more competent then those other idiots back in Ponyville.

"Eh fair enough." he watched as the group made for the carts.

"hey, you want one?" Sandbar held out a Cupcake.

"Sure." He snatched, and ate it, slowly.


"Oh by the way, Ocellus, sorry for the whole, 'trying to blow you out of the sky' thing, you've got to understand, Changelings
and I have a very...lets just go with 'sore' history."

"Eh it was nothing, thanks for apologizing."

"Hey, pillow fight!" He leaned back on an old tree stump, watching as the group of creatures enjoyed themselves. 


"I wish the other changelings could meet you all, you're not nearly as strange as the stories say."

"Gee, thanks, but yeah, hanging out with other creatures is actually... not bad." William grunted in disapproval, he turned to see a furry ball of... something roll out from the bushes. It unfolded to reveal a small, sloth looking creature.

"-The hell?" William stood up.


"Uh, what's that thing?" Sandbar asked.


"Ugh, am I the only one who didn't sleep thorough professor Fluttershy-"


"Professor!? Hah! You've got to be joking me, her? Damnit Twilight, what did I say?" He cursed under his breath. 


"Anyway, its a puckwage."


"What the ####?Who's in charge of naming in this world?!"He gripped his rifle.

"Maybe I can make friends with it!" Ocellus continued. William facepalmed.

"It's herefoth called dollar store sloth, any objections?"

"Uh, what's a dollar store?" Sandbar asked.


"Er, that's complicated. Go on, poke the damn, thing already."

"Alright..." The changeling transformed into one, and approached the small creature. 

"Heh, hi there-" It growled, and several of its brethren jumped out of the bushes. 

"Opps." A malicious smile crossed Williams face, he raised the M4 to his shoulder, changed the firemode of his rifle to full auto, and sprayed the group of small, quilled creatures with lead. Their growls turned to squeals of pain and terror, only to be silenced.

"That was the most fun I've had in a long, long time!" William exclaimed, admiring his work. All 18 of the small colorful beings lay dead on the ground, riddled with bullet holes. He looked back to find the young 6, frozen in shock.


"Ya welcome." He murmured, approaching one of the bloody corpses, he gave it a kick, sure enough, they were dead. He ejected the empty magazine from his rifle, slammed a fresh one into it, and cycled the action, once more more hearing the comforting sound of a 5.56 round being chambered.

"I'd  recognize the sound of gunfire anywhere, William!" He heard Joey's voice call though the brush. 

"Hey guy's, found your 'missing students' Oh, by the way, sorry about the mess, I'll clean it up later." He watched a Twilight examined them.

"Is evercreture alright?"

"Yes, thank him." Smolder pointed back at  William.

"Good job, I knew you where useful." Twilight joked.

"You know, this might not be the safest place for a campout." Starlight said. William glared over at Joey.


"Not a word."

"Does that mean you're going to send us back to our homes? "Ocellus asked.

"Not exactly, I have another option in mind."

"We're listening. "Gallus said.

"It's pretty clear you've already  started learning friendship without your teachers, but we'd like to show you  even more, if you come back to school." William snapped his fingers.


"Listen, you can't just 'learn' friendship, that would be implying its an actual talent. This is not the case, anyone can do it, just by being here, you're already learned everything there is to learn. It's up to you, go with her, or not, I don't care." The young 6 looked at each other, then turned back to Twilight.

"Not much of a choice."

"To be honest, we felt the same way when Twilight told us she  was reopening the school."


"But this time, we guarantee it shall be different. "William held up his hand before things could go any farther.

"I take it you've gone to hell with the E.E.A guidelines?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Starlight said.

"Great, lets go."

The group of creatures stood around the magically sealed entrance of the school. Twilight stepped up to it, and began charging her horn.

"Twilight, I was so relived to get your letter!" Celestia landed before the group, with the ambassadors of the other kingdoms in tow.

"As was queen Novo, oh we're just glad you're alright Silverstream."


"Don't expect a welcome party from me sonny! It's tie you got home!" The Gruff grabbed Gallus by the scruff.

"I'm not leaving."

"What?"

"None of us are."

"Yak doesn't understand, this pony joke?"

"How, you can't even get inside!"

"My turn." William set a 57 MM recoiless rifle on his shoulder, and took aim.

"Backblast clear!" He yelled, pulling the trigger, when the dust cleared, the seal lay in tatters on the ground. A cheer rose up from the group.

"Who dared remove my seal?" A shimmering blue  portal appeared  where the seal once was, the E.E.A chancellor emerged from it.

"I did! #### off!!!" William approached him, and backhanded the chancellor in the face, right where his bruise was, knocking him back through the portal.


"Burn in Tartarus." He whispered as the portal closed, he whipped back around to face the crowd.

"Well, school's back in session." 

"I trust you'll deal with him?" He whispered into Celestia's ear, she shot him a confused glace.

"One last thing, anycreture have a banjo?"

"Sure, why?" Pinkie tossed him one. William cleared his throat, and began walking around from the group.


"To the town of Ponyville

strolled a stranger one fine day

hardly spoke to folks around him 

didn't have to much to say

nopony dared to ask his business

nopony dared to make a slip

the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip..."

> An Unexpected Adventure
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun set once again on Equestria, and as usual, William was up, strolling the empty streets of Ponyville, rifle in hand. Enjoying the peace and quiet. However, this time around, things where a tad bit...different, as he strolled through town, he couldn't help but notice a faint glow coming from one of the towns many restaurants. He could hear laughter and commotion.

"Seriously? I'm trying to enjoy the night in peace, the hells wrong with them?" He pulled the door aside, and peaked in. It was a setup he easily recodnized. An asortment of tables, with a small stage on the far side.

"Standup comedy, eh? I'll give it a try.I'm still curious as to what Equestrian hummor is like." He stepped inside, as soon as he did, everypony in the room turned to look at him, he could hear the crowd murmuring. Finally, he cleared his throat, and spoke.

"Well? Continue." There where no empty seats around, so he just took a seat by a grey earth pony. Who eyed him with suspicion

"So, hows your night been, enjoyed disturbing the quiet?" The pony swallowed hard, but then the head anouncer began talking.

"Put your hooves together for, Maud Pie!" William scowled.

"Pinkie's sister, or was it cousin? Eh, I can never keep these things straight." He listened as the pony began talking.

"What do you call an alicorn with no wings, and no horn?"Maud said in a monotone voice.


"Earth pony." He heard laughing from a few tables over, laughter he knew all to well.

"Pinkie." He snarled, "She's up all night doing stand up comedy, go figure."


"But seriously, being an earth pony isn't so bad. We have magic powers too, like walking around, and picking things up with our teeth." William let out a low growl of disappointment.


"With all do respect ma'am, go watch yourself a few episodes of Seinfeld before ya go up there next time." He whispered.


"That was sarcasm by the way." Pinkie let out yet another obnoxious laugh.


"My favorite thing to listen to is clastic rock. The accumulation of sediments over millennia  forming to create sandstone, shale, and bracia." William chuckled.

"That was actually decent, I'll make a mental note of that one."

"It sounds something like this." She leaned in close to the mic, causing it to pulse with feedback. 

"And that's my time." Pinkie rushed in from the side.

"Isn't my sister  Maud the most most  hilarious, entertaining, amazing comedian ever!?"The crowd burst into laugher, William, slowly stood up from his seat.

"Get off the damn stage, I'm leaving!" He called out, he made for the exit, slamming the door behind him. He heading back home, threw his  front door open, bolted inside, locked it behind him, and hopped on the couch, he was asleep in a moment.

William awoke the next day, rested and grumpy as usual. He headed to his kitchen, poured himself a glass of water, grabbed a slice of cake and an apple from the fridge, sat back down on his couch, and slowly ate his meal, thinking only about his food.

"Somethings missing..." He looked down at his watch, and it hit him.

"Joey should have knocked on my door by now, oh well, I'm sure its nothing. Well, it probably is something, but if he didn't go knocking on my door, it likely isn't. He finished his meal, and threw his plate on his coffee table, swallowing the rest of his water, he peered back at his kitchen, there lay a stack of dirty dishes, dry and sticky from days of neglect.

"Well, duty calls I suppose." In a flash of light his pajamas were replaced by a CBRN hazmat suit, and a pair of black gloves, sealed airtight to the suit.

"Much better." He sliped a painting mask over his face, opened up the faucet. One by one, he washed the plates and bowls, soon falling back into a rhythm, one he hadn't felt since collage, back before he went back to Equestria, he had taken a temporary job as a dishwasher in the cafeteria, oh how he hated that job. But it had it's benefits, namely, it gave him an excuse to blast his music, usually to the enjoyment of both the kitchen staff, and the customers that passed through. That was it, that was what he had been missing all this time. It had been quite a while since he had any real music.

"I've been stuck singing parody songs to keep up with the rest of this world, I figure I more than disserve some music of my own! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do today, I'm going back to Earth, I'm gonna gather up a collection of my favorite songs, put 'em on  an mp3, hook it up to a few speakers, maybe get an extra copy for some headphones." He finished scrubbing the last dish, he rinsed it off, and headed for Twilight's castle to plead his case. He changed back into his 'casual wear' and headed out.


"Twilight, hey, Twilight, open up!" He banged on the door of her castle. It was Spike who answered.

"Hey William, what's up?"

"I really need to talk to Twilight, there's something important I need to do, and I need an alicorn's help."

"Why not just ask Joey?"

" Because, A. I don't know where he is, and, B. I need one that's... how do I put it? One that's competent in magic. I don't have time to go to Canterlot."

"Oh, alright, I'll get her." William stood in the entryway, tapping his foot. Finally, Twilght showed up.

"What is it?"

"Alright, this might be a bit much, but-"

"Let me guess, you want me to shut down the school of friendship? Not a chance."

"No, it's not that..." The tone in Williams voice grew a bit more enthusiastic.

"I was kind of hoping you could send me back to Earth, just for a little bit, not like last time, I want to grab a few of my favorite songs."

"Sure, all the more opportunity to learn about your culture!" William facepalmed.

"So, when can we go?"

"Right now, if you're ready that is..."

"Yes! Let's go!" Twilight stepped outside her castle, and lit her horn.


"Question, should I worry? If memory serves, ya don't exactly have the best record for first time spells."

"Don't worry, Celestia thought me this one herself." 

"Alright." Her horn flashed white, he heard her scream as the world around them turned white for a moment, when it faded, they were standing on redwood bark, in a cluster of bushes. To their side, was a white stucco wall, one William recognized with ease. Alongside the cloudy skies, and the faint smell of the ocean blowing through the leaves.

"Welp, we're here. Humbolt university." 

"You never said you lived at a university!?" William's gaze shifted back down to Twilight.

"Shhh, do you want to get cought!? Let's just find my old dorm room, grab my laptop, and get out of here." He peaked out of  the bush, they appeared to be around the old dorms. Before him lay an atrium, with a white gazebo in the center. There weren't any students walking around, likely due to the fact that at this time of the day, most of them would be in class. But he wasn't taking chances. In a burst of light, his rifle, sidearm, and armor disappeared, replaced by a set of cargo pants and a dark green T shirt.

"Do you have any invisibility spells?" She nodded, and lit her horn. In a flash of purple light, she was gone.

"Good, now, a few rules, and these are very, very, important, so listen closely. 1. No talking, at all. 2. No touching anything, that includes other people, 3. Don't wander off, stay close to me. Do you understand?"

"Yes." He heard her hushed voice whisper to him.

"Good, lets go. "He waved her along.  The 2 of them climbed out of the bushes, and strolled though the campus, in search of William's old dorm building. after about 5 minutes, they came to it. William swung the door aside, and walked, making sure Twilight made it though before the door shut behind them, the lobby had a few students, most didn't bat him an eye. He walked down the hallway, up the nearest set of stairs. And back down another corridor.

"Alright, here we go." William shuffled around in his pocket for a moment, and pulled out a key, he inserted it into the lock, and turned, the door swung open, and the 2 of them stepped  inside. Twilight lifted her spell.

"I have so many questions." She said.


"Don't care, now, don't touch anything, I'm gonna try and find my laptop, ok?" He looked around the room.

"Ah, so many memories..." He went to his old bunk, and began looking around. He heard a key fumbling in the lock.

"Oh, ####, uh, Twilight, hide!" She jumped under the sheets of his old bed just as the door opened. It was Williams old room mate, Devan.

"What the, what are you doing in here?" He asked. "I thought you went up to Alaska, you just up and left a few weeks ago-" William stopped him.

"Listen, I left my laptop back here, where is it?" 

"Oh, it in the dresser, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, so I just kept it in there."

"Well, thanks for not selling it." He walked over to the dresser, pulled the top cabinet open, and pulled out his laptop, headphones, and a set of spare batteries.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you, what have you been doing up there in Alaska?"


"Eh, prospecting... and stuff." He watched as Devan's eyes slowly shifted to the bed, particularly, the vaguely equine form beneath the sheets. William watched his gaze.

"Hey, what's under there-"Without a second thought, William drew a stun gun, and shocked Devan in the neck, knocking him out cold. He heaved his body of the ground onto the nearest bunk.

"Sweet nightmares." He turned to Twilight.

"What just happened?"

"No time, just a nosey room mate, let's go back to Equestria, I got what I came for." He gestured to the laptop. She lit her horn, the world went white for a second, and just like that, they where back in Equestria. He looked up at the skies. Then swiched back to his armor, once more setting his trusty Glock 19 in his holster.

"Ah, this place 'll never get old, see ya Twilight." 


"By William, glad I could help!" William walked back off towards his house. Triumphantly carrying his laptop under his arm.
> I'm Back!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William sat in his bedroom, laptop on, and headphones plugged in, blaring his music as loud as he could, it had been so long since he had heard actual, human music, that he figured he deserved this. Even though his laptop didn't come preinstalled with interdimensional wifi, he still had more than enough of his favorite songs downloaded.

"Ah, this will never get old." He smiled, and closed his eyes.

"Wait, where has Joey been all this  time?" He sat up, and looked out the window, the sun was getting low in the sky, and he still hadn't seen a trace of his friend.

"Ugh, I'll be a moment." He said to his computer as pulled off  his headphones, he headed over to Joey's house. The first place he assumed he should look. As he walked up to his friends house, his mood was replaced by a mixture of confusion and anger. Before him stood Joey's house, unlike his own house, Joey's was only a single story in hught. A much more stereotypical example of Equestrian architecture, what with it's thatched roof, and pink outlines, a small garden stood just outside, and the patio was covered in flower pots. William walked up the  the door, sighed, and knocked.

"Hey, Joey, wake up!" He could hear the sound of hooves stumbling on wood, until finally, the door swung open revealing Joey, holding a glass of water with his magic. And wearing a robe.

"Hey, William, what's up?" He smiled weakly.

"What's wrong with you?"  William folded his arms.

"Eh, I think I cought something back in the Everfree-" He sneaked, William promptly backed up.


"Need me to drag you to Ponyville general?"

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm feeling better, one of the perks of being an ailcorn."

"Alrighty then, have a good recovery, I'm back to my house, Twilight let me grab my laptop from my old dorm room back on Earth, got all my favorite songs downloaded on it."

"Well cool, you 'ought to show that to Lyra, I've heard she's into that kind of stuff." William shook his head.

"Well, I'm out of here, I still haven't the slightest if Equestrian illnesses effect humans." Without another word William turned and headed back to his house. On the way, he was greeted by 5 of the main six.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Oh, there's been an... incident down in Manehattan with Fluttershy." 

"What kind?"

"Well...She hasn't quite been acting like herself."

"Oh, good, I couldn't care less, call me back when there's something life threatening on the loose." He watched as they went off on their way. As soon as they where out of sight, he heard a massive crash behind him. He turned to find... a manticore of all things, rampaging through town, just down the street from him, a little to close for comfort as far as his houses safety was concerned. A .50 Beowulf rifle appeared on his hands, with an Eotech 552 scope siting stoutly on it's top. He raised it to his shoulder, set the being's head in his sight. And squeezed the trigger, sending a 3 round burst into it's skull, it fell to the ground, dead.

"Better, hey, can sompony clean that up!?" He called out, dropping the rifle down to his chest. He threw open the door of his house, rushed back upstairs, pulled the headphones back on over his head, and pressed play. After a while, he drifted back off to sleep.


When William awoke, the sun was just beginning to rise in the sky, he could hear commotion in the street below him.

"Well, that was a fun day of doing absolutely nothing, eh, I'm bored now, let's see if there's anything I can do to cure it." He jumped out of bed, his back aching slightly. He stumbled downstairs, and poured himself a glass of water.

"I'm not in the mood to make breakfast. Restaurant it is!" He downed the rest of the glasses contents, and walked outside.

"William!" Joey trotted up to him.

"Ah, I see you're doing better." William commented.

"Yep. What are you doing out so early?"

"Eh, I'm bored. There just isn't anything left in this world that's worthwhile, I mean, sure, there's that whole...you know what. But I'm saving that for a special occasion."

"Have yu considered heading down to the school of friendship and seeing how Ocellus, Gallus, Silverstream, Yona, Sandbar and Smolder are doing?"


"Hmmm, that's not a bad idea, let's go see if the young six have been fully brainwashed yet." He jogged across town, and before long, stood at the front doors of the so called 'school'. He pulled open the door, and walked inside.

" Hey, Twilight, I'm looking for those 'students' of yours, ya better hope you haven't brainwashed with that friendship stuff yet!" He could hear yelling coming from farther inside the school. Rainbow Dash to be specific yelling about what he could assumed was a rollercoaster of sorts.

"Hey, Rainbow, what are you yelling about!?" He called out. 

"Oh, hey William, I'm talking about the wild blue yonder!" He raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the horizon? You're excited about flying, of all things? Oh that's right's, you're a pegasus damnit." He facepalmed.

"No, I mean the roller coaster in Los Pegasus." 

"What are you complaining about then, if you want to ride it, then go. Stop bragging about it, and go. Also, where's you're students?"

"Uh, right behind me, thanks for the advice!" She sped off, leaving a trail of rainbow light behind her. He turned back to the assortment of creatures before him. William looked over at Joey.

"You can go if you want, I hate rollercoasters." He nodded, and flew off after Rainbow.

"So" He clasped his gloved hands together, "Anything interesting going on in you're lives?"

"No, not really." William looked over at Gallus, and an idea sparked in his mind.


"Y'all have any spare plates, or Frisbees around here?" 


The group stood on the field just south of the school, William held a shotgun. Gallus, and the rest of the group held an assortment of dinner plates and Frisbees.


"I still don't understand how this is supposed to be fun."

"Oh, it will be, start tossing 'em." Gallus did as told, and threw a plate. William raised the shotgun, and fired. Blowing it to smithereens.

"So, who wants to try next?"
> Lemme Have My Fun!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so the sun set once more on Equestria, William and the young six went their separate ways, and after a while, he slipped back under the familiar covers of his bed.

"William! William!" He heard a voice calling through his dreamscape.

"Ugh, who's intrupting my warcrimes!?" 

"Warcrimes?" The shimmering form of Luna appered before him.

"Oh, it's you, finally built up the confidence to visit me?" She rolled her eyes.

"Well, yes, you're one of the few cretures in this world that genuinely scares me."

"I'm not apologizing, it's not my fault I enjoy...this." He waved his hand a the battlefield around them.

"I know that, and I also know that thee also has a secret." 

"Which secret?" She smiled, and her horn lit up.  William looked down at his body, to find it changed into a pegasus.Or, rather, a pegarin. Part pegasus, part kirin. He raised a foreleg, and examined it closely, it was covered in light brown fur. He looked back at his new wings, and gave them a flap. He shifted both eyes up to look at his forehead, there, hidden by his new mane, was a small, root-like horn. A mirror appeared before him. He swallowed hard, and looked away.

"Go on ahead, look." Slowly, he raised his head back up, staring into the mirror, what looked back at him was, well... it wasn't quite as bad as he had imagined , in fact, it was comforting in a way. A pair of massive, nervous, confused brown eyes met his own gaze. A horrified expression plastered across it's face.


"You don't have to hide it here, it's your dream after all."

"Alright, fine, please, just- Don't tell anyone, or anypony, or...you get the point."


"As you wish, Hailstorm." In a flash of light, she was gone, leaving William, sitting on his new hind legs, in the ruins of his dreamscape. Having an existential crisis.


"Damnit! Why does this always happen? How could she have found out- oh, right, alicorn of the night thing." He raised a hoof to rub his temples, growling in annoyance as he found his hands gone. Replaced by a hard piece of keratin.

"Well, this is what I wanted, may as well try and get used to it." He pushed himself to all fours, only to stumble back and fall.

"Ahh!!!" He sat up in bed in a cold sweat. franticly, he yanked the rest of the sheets off, to find himself still whole, and still human.

"Whew, weirdest #### I've been through so far." He slid off to the side of his bed, catching himself on the floor. He stumbled over to the windowsill, and pulled the curtains back aside, once more letting the morning sun into his room. Squinting slightly as he looked down at the street below.

"This place needs some rain and clouds damnit, I'll have to talk to Rainbow about that later. "He spun 180 degrees, and walked downstairs. Grabbing a banana on on the way, he threw the front door open, and sat down on his porch, he grabbed the newspaper sitting on the cobble, and began to read.

"Ponyville losses entire pottery surplus to unidentified psychopathy." Was on the front page, he laughed at this.

"Well, least I had some fun with it!" He exclaimed. He raised his head, to see Joey trotting up to his house, as usual, htis time around, the sound of hoofbeats made him jump.

"Ah!-Heh, hi Joey, so, what's your reason for interrupting my quiet today?"

"Morning William, got back home from Los Pegasus last night, it was amazing. I mean, an entire city in the clouds, I mean, when I heard about it, I thought they were joking, but, sure enough, it was awesome, I even got a photo with Rainbow!" He reached into his saddlebags, and pulled out a picture.

"Eh, Joey, ever stop for a moment to thing that you might be acting a little to much like a 5 year old?" He paused for a moment, and shrugged.

"No, I'm just having fun, what's wrong with that?"

"There isn't anything inherently wrong with having fun, it's the way you express it that makes me furious."


" Anything else that isn't aneurysm inducing? "Joey nodded.

"Yes, according to Twilight, it's the 1,111th anniversary of Princess Celestia raising the sun. She's putting on a play to commemorate it." William  facepalmed.

And I suppose you want me to help you set it up?" 

"Well, yes." He sighed in disappointment, and stood up.

"Fine, don't bother showing me the way, I already know it."


William sat on the stands, watching as the six and Starlight labored away on stage.


"I have great news everypony!" Twilight walked through the center of the stands, right up to the stage.

"What, you're terminally ill with cancer?" He asked sarcastically.

"Princess Celestia is gonna be our star!" He watched as the six gasped in shock.

" Yeah, that's how I felt too." Said Spike, folding his arms.

"Hey, everypony, stop! "William shot up from his seat.

"Here me out, there's no reason for you to panic, just act like she's just another pony, that's what I do whenever I'm around her, and look, she couldn't care less."

"Another pony? But, she's the princess!" 

"Well, she was a little nervous at first," Twilight continued "But I told her not to worry, with us helping, it'll all go smooth as-."

"Silk." Rarity cried out.

"Oh for the love of- Can' you ponies just be normal for 2 seconds!?"


"Williams got a point on this one, why are y'all so starstruck? We've met princess Celestia before,  plenty of times."


"Hey what's that sound?" William asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I hear the Everfree forest calling my name, I'll be back in a moment." He turned, and sprinted off as fast as he could.


"Anyway, lets get started!"

As William sprinted away from the school grounds, and idea began to form in his head, he thought back to the first night he had spent back in Equestria. 


"Oh hell yeah." He changed course, and headed for his house, his laptop specifically.

A crowd gathered on the stands, just as the sun was getting low in the sky, Twilight was as ready, or, at  least she though she was, she had spent almost the entire day trying to perfect every single aspect of the play, namely, Celestia's acting, Williams sudden disappearance hadn't helped.

"Ok, I tried, I tried, and tried, but we have to face facts, we can't make Celestia an actress, so there's only one thing we can do."

"Tell her the truth finally?" Applejack asked.

"No!"Joey walked up on stage.

"Hey, you guy's know where William ran off to? I've been looking for him all day, but I couldn't find him. I even checked the Everfree forest, still nothing."

"Well, I-" A massive bang echoed out across the valley, filling the evening sky with light, gunshot after gunshot followed. They could hear music, faintly playing in the distance.

"What is that?" Joey's eyes widened.

"Heh, sounds like William, Seven nation army to be exact, oh boy, this is going to be a treat!"  

"Wait, what's Seven Nation Army?" Celestia asked.

"It's...human music, one of William's favorites, just listen." More gunshots and mortar rounds filled the sky. Casting long shadows over the town. All perfectly choreographed together into one, giant display of musical violence.


I'm gonna fight 'em all

A  seven nation army couldn't hold me back

They're gonna  cross me soon

takin' their time right behind my back...


"What does he mean by cross him?" Celestia murmured.

And I'm talking to myself at night

Because I can't forget

Back and forth through my mind

Behind an M82 Barrett

"Creepy." Commented Rainbow.


And a message coming from my eyes says leave it alone

Don't wanna hear about it

Every single one's got a story to tell

Everycreature  knows about it

From the Princess of Equestria to the hounds of Tartarus

And if I catch you coming back my way

I'm gonna serve it to you

And that ain't what you want to hear

But that's what I'll do

"Is he threatening me!?" Called Prince Blue Blood.

And a feeling coming from my bones says keep on fightin'

And so I'm gonna stay right here

And put up with this nonsense forever more

I'm gonna hunt them all

Make the lead fly out of every barrel

And I'm angry and I'm angry

And I'm angry all the more

All the words are gonna bleed from me

And I will think no more

And the stains on my armor tell me keep on goin'

All at once, the gunfire ceased, the last remaining echoes fading as the sun set below the horizon, leaving the entire crowd, along with the royal sisters, and Joey, speechless.
> You Have No Authority Over Me
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what did you think?" William asked Joey as the 2 of them sat on his front porch the next day.

"Oh, you mean your parody of Seven Nation Army? It was  amazing, aside from the fact that you might have given me, and half the town tinitus. Other than that, it was some of your best work."

"Heh, glad you think so. 'Twas good to put this world and it's horrible taste of music in it's place." William shifted his gaze down to his watch.

"Well, time for me to head down to 'that' school." He got up, nd began to walk away,  whistling  as he did.

"Hey, William, I've been meaning to ask you, why are you in such a good mood today?" William stopped, and looked down at his friend.


"Labtop, music." He stated simply.

"That all, I havn't seen you like this since you burst the Storm King's head like a watermelon."

"Hmm, I'm not really sure." He casually heftied the FN Scar-17 in his hands as he strolled down the street. Tapping the magizine as he went.  He made it to the doors of the school, and swung them aside.


"Oh how I hate this place." He walked inside, slamming the doors behind him.

"Out of the way!" He ducked just as Rainbow shot past his head.

"That ain't good." He ran off after her, Joey in tow.


"And the friendship school teacher of the month is...Fluttershy!" William facepalmed as he peaked through the doorway.

"Nominations? In this socialist-hippie commune of yours, heh, not a chance!"


"I don't know how you keep winning."


"The award is based on the students vote, they must really like you!"

"Communism!" William shouted, Twilight lit her horn, slamming the door in his face.

"Gah, those idiots won't even take my suggestions!"


"Maybe it's because, they're...  A little extreme?" William grimaced.

"Nah, they're ponies, what'ya expect?"

"hehem."

"Yes, I'm of aware of the fact that you're one of the- You know what? I'm not letting them get away this." He gave the door a tug, and found it locked."

"Grrr, you lock door on the William eh!?" A crowbar appeared in his hand, he inserted it into the crevice in between the doors, and pulled as hard as he could. The lock cracked, and the doors swung open. He barged inside.

"What is wrong with you?" He demanded.


"Whatdya mean?" Applejack asked, "Your  the one who came barging in here."

"That's no excuse for lying." 

"What do you mean by that?" Rainbow questioned.

"Simple, you claim to teach friendship, just look at this place, friendship can be thought, it just... happens over time, this." He waved his hand at the walls. "Is essentially just a glorified psychiatric ward, but then again, it's not like you're all about to go announce that out there, ain't ya?"


"Well..."William stopped Twilight.

"You fooled him, you won't fool me." He pointed back at his friend.


"What are you talking about?" Rainbow asked again.

"Ugh, nevermind, go finish up whatever y'all were doing here." He slammed the door shut, scowling at the six as he did. He listened in on their discussion, hearing that they had decided to take the young six on a field trip."


"Damnit!"

Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack led the group out away from the school, with  William and Joey in tow.

"I'd like you all to understand that I only agreed to this #### because I literally have nothing else, I'm bored out of my mind."


"Alright class, today you'll-" William stopped Twilight.

"Today your teachers will be trying to to kill you, try not to."

"What!?" They collectively gasped.

"Er, kidding." They sighed in relief.

"Or am I?" he chuckled slightly.

"No, I'm kidding, go with AJ and Rainbow, they'll tell ya what to do next." 

"Hey y'all, ready to get out there and do some learnin' the apple family way?"

"This is basically going to be the best field trip in the history of ever, with me in charge of course."

"Quick sidebar, stop being so damn enthusiastic about everything! Alright, I'm done ranting, continue."

"Why don't you start with shed building first? "Twilight asked the 2.


"Heh, don't mind if I do, every creature, follow the leader." Applejack waved the group along, much to William's apparent displeasure, while he was in no way lazy, he wasn't much for manual labor. He walked with the group as Applejack led the group to the edge of her families farm.

"Now take a good deep breath, what do you smell?"

"Green hell?" Replied William.

"Uh, yak?" Commented Gallus.

"Nope, try again."

"I'm not sure you think I should be smelling, if your talking about the apples, well, I'm pretty sure you've got a screw lose, either that, or a ponies sense of smell is greater then that of a human." He paused for a moment, "Actually, I think it's both."

"Correct, and? Anyone, anyone?" William shook his head.

"The promise of... teamwork!" He shifted his gaze, leaning up against a nearby tree was a stack of wooden boards, alongside a hammer, saw, bucket of nails.

"Yay, slave labor!" William exclaimed sarcastically.

"That there's an apple shed, and this here is what we're gonna use to build it!"

"Y'all can go on ahead, I've had enough shed building to last myself a lifetime." He thought back to his time living in rual California.


"Nothin' bring's friends together like a little hard work and honest sweat!" William sat himself down on a nearby tree stump, and watched as the group repeatedly attempted to build a  shed, and repeatedly fail, and just  when it seemed like they might actually have finished it, they dropped the roof, sending the whole thing crashing to the ground, leaving only the doorframe standing.

"Go figure." He said with a laugh.

"Uh, professors? I'm a little confused about teamwork now." 

"Back in my day, we didn't need no ####ing school for hippies to teach us how to work together!" William shouted.


"No...that's because you need a different teacher, follow me!" Rainbow sped off towards the nearest river.



"I'm getting the feeling that they're just ignoring me at this point. How about you?" He asked Joey as he stood up and began to follow Rainbow.

"I haven't the slightest."

"Well, you best figure it out, I hate being ignored and I hate not being taken seriously." He held up the M4 in his hands and cycled the bolt to further his point.

"Last one to the stream is a rotten apple shed!"  He heard  fading in the distance.


"I don't care!" He shouted back with mild annoyance.



"Who's ready to smash the all time Equestrian record for river canoeing!?"William facepalmed.

"I haven't gone canoeing in...well, since I was 10. I think I'll sit this one out."

"Is that even a thing?" Gallus asked.

"First time I've heard about it." Sandbar replied with a sigh.

"We need to get to the finish line before this alarm goes off, mean ya gotta move  fast!"

"I will go at whatever pace I wish, any attempt to circumvent my choice will be met with violence. Is that understood?" Rainbow swallowed hard. "Er, yes."

"Great, let's get started." He watched as Rainbow tossed each of them a paddle.


"Uh, Yona have questions-"

"No time for questions, get in the boat!"

"You really think winning some canoeing' record is gonna get you that teacher of the month trophy? "Applejack asked sternly.


"I'm pretty sure everycreture's gonna like it better than pounding nails and cutting wood."

"Rainbow! It was your idea, and I don't like waiting, get in the damn boat!"

"Ugh, yak no like water."

"Get in the #### boat, what are you more scared of, me, or an inanimate liquid, huh?" Yona thought about it for a moment, then hopped onboard.

"Common, let's go, stroke, stroke!" Rainbow demanded.

"Yep, that's it guy's, lets go." William mocked as he sat cross-legged in the back of the canoe. He watched as they sat, floating in place.


"Alright, that's it, you see Applejack's team? Do what they're doing." The group listened, and actually began to move forward.


"Ah, much better." The canoe sped off down the water.

"I hate boats." He commented under his breath. After a while, they came to a fork in the river.


"Left!"

"Right!"

"Eye Aye captain!" Silverstream called.

"What the hell are you doing? They ain't your captain. "He turned back to face the front of the boat, to find it moments away from getting wrecked on the rocks at the center of the fork.


"Well, that's me." In a flash of light, William's BDU fatigues were replaced by  a drysuit and snorkel, he jumped of the side of the canoe, just as it hit the rocks, tearing it to shreds, and sending the young six, Rainbow, Applejack, and Joey flying past the rocks, and crashing safely into the stream beyond.


"I love field trips!" He heard Silverstream call out from downstream.

"I hope you're happy." Applejack said, looking over at Rainbow with disappointment.

"Obviously not, because there goes our new speed record-"

"Help! Yak not swim!" William groaned.

"You 2, deal with that." He jabbed a finger at Ocellus and Silverstream. He himself swam for shore.


"How's the canoeing going?" Twilight asked from the shore.

"About as good as the apple shed building." Smolder spat.

"I had no intention of getting wet on this trip." William said in frustration as he stepped out of the river, exchanging his drysuit for his BDU fatigues and armor.


"I had this all under control, until Applejack-"

"Both of you screwed up. Acknowledge that, and work past it." He turned to Twilight, "I require no lecture from you."


"William's right, we're sorry Twilight."


"I can't believe you, you were supposed to be teaching teamwork, and you're competing with each other? I thought you were past that."

"Completion is the basis of teamwork." William said.

"What was that?"


"Oh, nothing, continue scolding them.

"We are! Mostly."


"We got carried away with wanting to be teacher of the month is all."

"The teacher of the month wouldn't care about being teacher of the month, I know Fluttershy would be thrilled to see another pony win."

"I'mma have to disagree with you on that first point Twilight." William whispered, thinking back to his years in highschool.



"Well that's it! I'm taking over this field trip."

"What are you planning on doing with said field trip?"


"I... Uh."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, tell you what, we're going on a hike, and you can't stop me, Rainbow, Applejack, sort out your personal problems later, lets go!" He turned and led the group off though the forest. Being sure to take a clear cut path this time, he had had enough of the jungle like environment of the Everfree. After a while, they came to a fork in the trail. William eyed both paths with suspicion. He made his  decision before Rainbow and Applejack could begin feuding again.

"We go right, left path gives me bad feelings." He said bluntly.

"Alright then."


William and the group broke through the treeline, before them stood a ravine, with the river below.

"Seriously? Ugh, ladder bridge time! Rainbow, Silverstream, Joey, be good flying creatures and carry the yak over, rest of you, follow my lead." A ladder bridge appeared in his hands, slinging his rifle out of the way, he unfolded it across the gap. Making sure to firmly anchor r it to the ground.

"There, done and done, now, every creature crawl, do not screw this up, I'd hate to have to drag your corpse from the river later." The worryingly nodded in agreement. And followed William across the gap. AT the same time, those of the group that could fly, ferried Yona across, finally, the last  of them made it to the other side, and in a flash of light, the ladder bridge was gone.

"Gah, that never gets old!" William said with a smile as the group headed off toward the school.

"How was the field trip? What did you all learn?" Twilight asked as the group wandered in through the door.

"Uneventful, and I learnt that taking care of other's is...painful. Here's your charges, I'm goin' home." Without another word, he turned his back to the group and left.

"I think I'll be going with him, bye!" Joey waved to the group and flew after William.
> Like a Quiet Kid in a Gun Shop
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, I can fly?" William asked Luna. Over the past few day's, Luna's dreamtime visits had become more common occurrences, much to William's frustration, however, it had  a few bonuses, most obvious of the them was the fact that William was sitting in the middle of an open field, as a pony. It's amazing what creatures will do for you when they aren't running  scared of you. 

"Well, yes, go on ahead, it's your dream." William slowly extended his new wings, and flapped them, sending him up into the air.

"Hah, yes!" He had gradually  adjusted to the whole 'pony dreams' thing over the past few nights, a while ago, he had been ashamed  of his own reflection, now, he was walking around out in the open, and, most recently, flying. Albeit, it was all just a dream in the end, somthing which, as much as he secretly wanted to happen in real life, would never. He insisted. He tried changing his direction, picking up speed. His movement cast long shadows across the medows and tree's below.

"This is awsome, I can see why Joey loves it." He exclaimed, feeling the wind rush though his beige fur. he stopped and hovered  in place for a moment, chuckling at the thought.

"Heh fur, oh boy, what have I gotten myself into?" And then it hit him.

"wait, fur? Oh Sh*t." He glided down to the ground, his hooves impacting the grass with a soft *Thud*. 

"Ugh, what's wrong with me? This ain't normal. But then again, it's my dream." He hung his head, his ears dropping low.

"That's enough of that heretic." He heard a voice from inside of him call. Out of insinct, his root-like horn lit up,glowing emerald green in the darkness of his dream. A shotgun appeared in it's aura. He heard rustling in the grass.

"What's out there?" He demanded.

"It's yo common sense, retard, miss me?" A humanoid figure climbed out of the brush, clad head to toe in black armor, it's helmet visor glowing red. It approached William, and slapped him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Heh, thanks William, I needed that." He said as the strange figure rustled his mane, his vision began to go black.

"No prob, William, or is it Hailstorm now?" It folded it's arms, and gave him a thumbs up. ''

" what is thee!?" The both looked over, to see Luna approaching them, eyes glowing and horn lit,  she clearly thought that the being standing before her with black armor and red eyes was evil, and intended to do William harm.

"Luna, wait! That my common sense! "She stopped.

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, it's weird, I know, but he's not going to hurt me, quite the opposite in fact, we are the same person after all." The creature extended a hand, and yanked William to all fours. The 2 looked at each other, they knew exactly what the other was thinking. William tossed the Remington over to the being, and it in turn, tossed him a Tomahawk. They both turned to stare at Luna.

"Ya better git." The being in black armor said.

"Uh, I, Uh-" Before she could say another word, the two let a blood curdling laugh, and charged the alicorn of the night.

"Ahh!" Williams eyes shot open, and he sat up his bed.

"That was... Interesting, note to self, stop envying your friend. He's an alicorn, you're a human, oh when have I ever cared about that!?" He threw off the sheets, and lumbered down the hallway in the darkness, tripping and falling down the stairs in the process.






June 21st

William strolled down Ponyville's main street, passing by the various shops and residential homes as he did, even though he  had pasted by them hundreds, if not thousands of times by now, it still felt refreshing to, the fact that he was actually in Equestria was still sinking in. Although all the noise, the hoof steps, the talking, and the giggling, oh, how he hated that. But that aside, nothing could ruin his day, it was the day before his birthday, and he was shopping, for himself. It may seem sad, or depressing at first, but no creature really knew him better than himself, plus, Equestian's were big into surprise parties, something he hated. Sure, he could've told Joey, but even then, the secret might still get out-

"And god help me if Pinkie finds out! "He grumbled out loud.  He reached into his BDU pocket, and retrieved a crumpled piece of paper, unfolding it, he looked down the list.

"Alright, let's see, mint chip icecream...Check, cold coffee...check, laptop... Also check. Ah, this is a big one, PEACE AND QUIET." He looked around, and sighed in defeat.

"Hmm,  alright, I got most of the stuff. Rest I can just create out of thin air. Eh, I'm hungry." He rounded the corner, and headed into the nearest restaurant.

"Uh, hi sir, can I get you anything?" The earth pony at the counter asked.

"One chocolate doughnut, whipped cream on top." He tossed 2 bits on the counter.

"Here you go!" He heard a familiar voice shriek.

"Ugh, Pinkie, go away. I'm not in the mood to kill anything right now." He took his doughnut, sat down at the nearest table he could, and began to eat, taking slow and deliberate bites. He spotted Joey though the window, trotting down the street.

"Don't you dare come in here, whatever you do, don-" Of course, Joey turned, and in a moment, he was though the doorway. 

"William! I didn't expect to see you here, something wrong?" He groaned in annoyance.

"No." He said dully.

"I may not know everything, but I do know when you're unhappy, so, what's wrong?" 

"Classified."

"This again? Comon William."

"Let me eat my doughnut in peace." Joey's eyes went to the piece of paper sticking out of William's vest pocket.

"Hey, what's that?"


"Like I said, classified."

"Sure." William felt that warm buzz of magic on him. He looked down to see the piece of paper being lifted away, he grabbed for it, but was to slow. He watched helplessly as his Joey unfolded the piece of paper, sat down on the far side of the table, and began to read.

"A shopping list, this is what you were hiding?"


"Ugh, fine, what I'm about to tell you is actually classified." He leaned in close, "It's my birthday tomorrow."

"Really? Congrats!" 

"Hey, not so loud, I like my privacy, especially on birthdays, just... promise you won't ruin it."


"Alright." William breathed out a sigh of relief, and finished the rest of his food.

"I'm off to the Everfree. Don't follow me."  

"Poor William, hmm, ah, I know exactly how to make his birthday better, he can't possibly be mad at me for this!" Joey herried off to Twilight's castle.


June 22


"Ah, happy birthday me!" William shouted as he rolled out of bed, hitting the wood floor.

"Hey, William!"  He whipped around, to find Joey, and Twilight, in his bedroom.

"AHHH! Leave me alone ponies, my birthday is my birthday!"

"Joey told me about it yesterday, we think we have just the thing for you!" Twilight exclaimed. Her horn flashed a familiar purple, and when it faded, they where standing in a patch of trees.

"What, you're stranding me out in the wilderness?" He asked sarcastically.

"No, look over there." William turned, though the treeline, was a parking lot. A human parking lot at that. Beyond it, was a building.

"You brought me to Earth? Why?"

"It's the yearly military hardware convention, in Texas!" A  large, malicious smile began to spread across his face.

"You're joking."

"Nope, that over there, is the real deal. From what I could gather, there's companies from all over the world showing off their latest equipment."

"Oh, guy's, this, this is perfect!" Without another word, he wrapped the two in a hug.

"Thanks. "He ran off towards the convention.

"Well, now I suppose we just... wait around for him to be finished?" Joey nodded.

"It's hot out here!" They moved to the shade.

"Heh, perhaps I judged Joey to harshly-nah!" he broke though the treeline.


Several hours later...

"Hey, Twilight, William's back! And he's... carrying something in his hands..."


"Hey guys, got myself a present, boy, I'll put it this way, S.A.W technology has really improved since I I checked. He set the case down on the ground, and unlatched it, revealing the odd looking firearm within.

"This, is the Sig Sauer MG68 prototype. I wanted it the moment I laid eyes on it, now, let's get back to Equestria so I can test it out!" He carefully seated it back into it's case, and the group disappeared in a flash of light.
> My kind of Chaos
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Holy hell, this thing is amazing." William thought to himself as he finished the rest of his brand new MG 68's ammunition's pouch, and looked down range to admire his work, where there had once been thriving trees, was now a mess of craggled and broken wood, sticking up from the ground, the weapons 6.8 MM rounds had more then done their job. He unhooked the ammunition pouch, opened up the feed tray, and began the process of reloading. So far, everything about his "Birthday present" Had been working out perfectly, from it's appearance, to it's accuracy, to it's handling. But by far his favorite part of it, was the computer assisted sights, the weapon practically aimed it's self. Add to that it's new type of 'hybrid' ammunition. Which weighed only 20 percent more than the 5.56 NATO rounds on the M249, while being almost twice as powerful.  He stopped for a moment, and listened to the the eerie silence of the forest around him.

"Perfect, just perfect, nothin' but me, my gun, and the wind blowing through the tree's on a cold and fogy Everfree morning." He said out loud as he seated the ammunition in the gun, slamming the feed tray on top of it, and racking the bolt back in forth in one, fluid and practiced motion. He admired his work one last time, before sighing, and starting off back towards Ponyville. Most creatures would never dare enter the Everfree forest, for any reason, William, was quite the opposite. Whereas most ponies would find the unpredictable weather, monsters, and thick, untrimmed brush terrifying. He loved it, more than that, he  had always felt  innate sense of understanding within the forest. One that always reminded him of the massive redwood forest's back home. As he passed through a portion of the forest, he noticed something... odd, yet not entirely out of place. A set of vaguely canine prints, crossing over his own. He knew exactly what this meant, and hefted his squad automatic weapon to his shoulder, waving it around at the dark treeline.

"Hey, I know you're in there, no use hiding!" He could hear growling coming from behind him, slowly, but surely getting closer. Without a second thought, he spun  around and blind fired a 10 round burst of tracer round's into the fog, he heard whimpering, and a moment later, and badly wounded timber wolf stumbled out of the bushes, with holes in it's chest and head, falling dead at William's feet.

"Wrong playground, partner." He joking whispered to it as he continued on his way. The odd timber wolf encounter was just the kind of thing you had to worry about on a daily basis when the Everfree was your favorite vacation spot in Equestria. At last, he broke through the treeline, groaning in annoyance as he felt the Equestrian sun beating down on his face.

"Damn pegasi," He cursed, "Why couldn't you just sleep in for once?" The tall grass under his feet turned to dirt pathway, and eventually, to cobble. He looked around Ponyville, to find that something was off, namely, the excessive amount of heart shaped decorations.

"What, does valentine's day come late for Equestria, or is this just another ploy by Twilight to make the 'magic of friendship' more prominent?" He asked a group of ponies as they passed him by, only one responded.

"Uh, valentines day? It's hearts and hooves day." William nodded, and waved them along.

"What the #### is wrong with this place?"  He murmured as he walked back to his home street, gagging at the sight of all the...less than pleasant decorations. As he did, he cought sight of Joey, heading the opposite way of him.

"For once, he hasn't snuck up on me." He thought to himself.

"Hey, Joey, explain!" He shouted, waving a hand at the rows of decorated buildings, with his SAW still slung around his chest.

'"Uh, oh, hi William, according to the town, it's 'hearts and hooves' day, ring any bells? "William shook his head.

"I asked some folks that on my way back into town, they gave me the same answer. It's like they expect me to know everything about their 'culture' I guess you could call it, from the start. "He was a bit uneasy on that last part, but, a culture was a still a culture, no matter how odd it may be.

"Twilight?" Joey asked. William shrugged in response.

"You go try and figure this out, I'm going home."  Joey nodded, at this point, he knew better than to second guess William, especially on matters as...sensitive as this.

Some time later...

William sat on his roof, watching the sky out of boredom. He was more or less fed up with the Everfree for the day, and had nothing else to do. When at last, Joey returned.

"Hey, uh, William, I figured it out."

"Lemme guess, Valentine's day?" His friend nodded. William let out a casual sigh, and pushed himself to his feet, balancing himself on the ceramic roofing.

"I swear, if I so much as see you within 10 feet of a mare, I will cut off your wings and hang you above a fire ant nest in the Everfree, that understood?"

"Wait, why would I- Oh, don't worry." 

"Now why's Big Mac in such a hurry?" William asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I duno, romance problems?" He shrugged.

"In the immortal words of Ron Swanson: The less I know about other's personal 'affairs', the happier I am." 

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Said a voice from above them, one that sounded oddly familiar, and yet, William couldn't quite place it. 

"Q?" William asked. He could hear laughing.

"No you idiot, it me, Discord!" In a flash of light, a new being appeared before the 2 of them, a freakish amalgamation of various Equestrian creatures.

"Er, what are you?" They both asked.

"Oh bother, this again? I'm a draconequus, the lord of chaos, to be specific."

"Why are you here?" Joey questioned.

"Uh, Joey, quick sidebar." William pulled his friend away from the conversation.

"He's the lord of chaos!?"

"Uh, yes, I mean, he just said he was-" William stopped him.

"You are aware of the fact that I'm a big Warhammer 40k fan, right?" Joey rolled his eyes.

"Really? What's your favorite astartes chapter?"

"Salamanders, war crimes, war crimes everywhere!" Joey nodded, of course the Salamander's were his favorite space marine chapter, they were famous for their indiscriminate use of explosive and  incendiary weapons, fitting Williams quota of overwhelming firepower almost perfectly.

"Dude, Warhammer 40k is fictional, this, is real, I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm." He said, gazing back at the abomination hovering just off the roof.

"I can hear you from over here!" It said. "My favorite chapter's the Ultramarines."

"I don't care- Wait, did you say Ultra marines?" 

"Yes, I'm big into your worlds 'pop-culture', nopony else seems to get it though."

"Hey, Discord, get back here, Big Mac's getting away!" William heard Spike's voice call out from below.

"We shall talk later, go with the small purple dragon."

"Well, that went better than expected." He said to Joey as he clamored off the room, onto the windowsill below, with Joey hovering at his side.

"I was half expecting you to turn a bolter on him!" William laughed.

"That's enough 40k jokes for now, wouldn't want GW suing us now."

"What are they gonna do about it!? We're in another dimension."
> Don't take the  back country road home, unless you're me...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another quiet afternoon in Ponyville, with residents once again winding down for the night, the sun was getting low on  the horizon and Fluttershy was, as usual, making her way back to her cottage, with a cluster of animals at her side ,when she heard rustling through the trees. Which seemed to be more than just the odd gust of wind.

"Hello, is anypony out there?" She asked with a meek tone. The noises got closer, and closer, and closer, at last, a dark humanoid entity burst out of the forest, crossing the path about 40 yards from her.

"Oh, William, it's you, don't sneak up on me like that-" The being let out a low shriek, and ran across the road.

"Wait! Where are you going!?" She galloped over to the treeline, to find it already gone.

"Oh well, he probably isn't in the best mood right now." She continued on her way, unbeknownst to her, what she had just seen wasn't William, in fact, it wasn't even human. The entire town was in for a night they would never, ever forget.

"Damn, it's been 2 whole day's, and I still don't find this thing boring in the slightest." William thought to himself as he slung his MG 68 over his shoulder, patrolling the edge of town. So far, this day had been like any other day for him, consisting of waking up, eating breakfast, and then heading out into the Everfree for what he had labeled as 'recreational violence' after that, he'd usually head back into town, tall with his friend, then head off to Twilight's school of friendship, give the students there a few lessons of common sense, and life tips, albeit, being sure to never reveal too much to them, he had a policy of keeping the Equestrian as much in the dark as possible when it came to himself, he could. It was about this time when he heard the familiar sound of wing flaps. He turned to look behind him, and found Joey and Rainbow Dash.

"So, what've ya got for me?" He asked with mock enthusiasm.

"Well, not much." Said Rainbow," One thing, why did you jumpscare Fluttershy earlier?" William was taken back by this.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, it was you, right?" William facepalmed"

"No, I haven't seen her all day. You sure it wasn't just a lost timber wolf?"

"I just talked with her, said it looked like you, just without your armor, it was wearing a hoddie." Added Joey.

"Well, you know me, I've never been much for civilian clothing, which means-" William stopped for a moment, and clenched his fist.

"What?"

"There's another human in Equestria."

"What?" Joey asked.

"We ended up here, it clearly didn't stop with us, who ever this person is, we need to find them before they 'break' anything."

"What do you mean by that?" Questioned Rainbow. "You destroy things all the time."

"You sure have, on my last fly over the castle of the 2 sisters, the area around it looked like a warzone."

"Not that kind of damage morons, it's that I don't need another helpless retard to babysit, Joey's an exception because he's an alicorn, and plus, what happens if they somehow make it back to earth without our help? The last thing I want is the governments of earth knowing about all of...this." He gestured to the sky.

"I see your point, so, how do we find them?" 

"Well, that's simple, just find their footprints, and follow them 'till we catch them, then, we simply have Twilight wipe their memory, destroy whatever evidence they have of this place, and send 'em back home, there, done."

"You sure?" Joey asked.

"Yes."

"Let's go then." William followed the 2 to the spot were Fluttershy had claimed to have spotted the being, William studied the ground.

"Huh."

"What, is it someone you know?" They both asked.

"No! It's that these are footprints, not shoeprints."

"...Meaning?"

"Meaning, that either this person likes walking around barefooted, they don't have shoes, or..."

"Or what?"

"It isn't a person. Anyway, lets keep going, the tracks continue here. "He plunged into the brush, only to walk out a minute later.

"Yeah, they're  gone, track disappear 'bout 20 yards into the trees."

"What now?" They both asked.

"Well, you can fly, means you can cover more ground than me." He watched as the sun set in the Distance. With the moon rising in it's place as usual.

"Keep looking, I'm off to bed, I'll let you know if anyone come's a'knocking on my door." He walked away, leaving the 2 ponies alone in the darkness.

"You in for  night time flight?" Rainbow asked, turning to Joey.

"Yes, plus, I'd really like to meet another human  that isn't an antisocial-gun toting maniac after all this time, it's getting a little old." Rainbow gave him a slight nod of understanding, and the 2 took off into the night sky.

William sat in his bedroom, all alone, casually sipping his coffee all while blasting heavy metal through his laptop. He had had a long day, and this was a way for him to relax. On his bed lay dozens of firearms, all of various sizes and types. One by one, he disassembled, and reassembled them, falling into a sort of rhythm as he did.

"Hmm, I wonder how Joey's doing? Eh, best not to worry about that, humans later, guns now!" His enthusiasm was interrupted when he heard banging coming from his backyard window, he immediately knew, or at least, thought he knew what it was. Slowly, he pushed himself off the bed, a Glock 19 appeared in his hand, loaded with armor piercing- tracer rounds, and sporting a red dot sight on top, as well as a flashlight mounted to it's underside. As he left the bedroom, his pace quickened out of instinct. He advanced down his stair case, to his back door, he made it to the door peered though the window, nothing. As he turned away from it, he heard another knock, this one was clearly made by a hand, not a hoof. He swung the door open, to find nothing there, except the darkness, and the pale glowing of the night sky. As William stepped  outside, he suddenly say something rush out of the dark treeline, heading for him. As it got closer, he noticed that it was indeed a hand, although not a human one by any means, it was long, bleached white with elongated claws. The suddenness of it all made him freeze for a second. That soon faded when his adrenaline kicked in, just as the grotesque claw began wrap around him.

"Screw you!" He firmly set his Glock against the appendage, and fired twice. Grinning in satisfaction as the claw retracted back away from him, he heard a shrill roar of pain in the distance, but he wasn't about to let whatever this thing was get off easy. He pulled out a bayonet, and jumped for it's long claw, grabbing on to hit with all his might, he  buried the bayonet of his M4A1 carbine into it's treelike arm, and held down on the trigger, sending  a 5 round burst into it. He held it down with his right foot, and pulled out a Bowie knife, stabbing it again, and again, and again. Resulting in more roars and shrieks of pain from the woods. Until, finally, whatever it was managed to get it's appendage away from him.

"I'm gonna cut out your living guts, and use them... to grease the treads of my...Soon to be Abrams tank!!!!" He yelled out in between breaths.

"That was the most fun I've had in my entire time here!" He added, pausing to admire his own sick sense of humor, he whipped around, a rushed back inside his house. Locking the door behind him. For the moment, he had gotten the better of the strange creature, Joey and Rainbow, were just about to discover it's true nature.

"Hey, Joey, question, why is William so...William?" Rainbow asked Joey as the 2 of them flew over the forests just outside of Ponyville.

"Eh, how am I supposed to know that? It's not like I can read his mind. Who knows what's going on inside of there." He responded. As he looked back down at the endless expanse of woodland, something cought his eye, a being, just as Fluttershy had described it, hoddie and all.

"There it is!" The 2 of them flew down, landing about 15 yards away, in a patch of bushes.

"Now, careful, we don't want to scare them, we have to let them know we're not a threat." Joey told her.

"I got a bad feeling about this, what kind of human would be out in the woods alone at this hour?"

"I don't know, let's go find out." Joey trotted out from behind the bushes, and approached the being.

"Uh, hello there, are you ok? My name's Joey, I-I don't want to hurt you-" The beings turned to look at Joey, more specifically, it's head turned to look at Joey, rotating 180 degrees, to reveal a distinctly inhuman face. A pair of black, beady eyes, and a long, mouth, locked in a malicious grin.

"Uh, you're not a human." Joey said nervously, backing away. The being's twisted grin grew smaller, as it began to grow in size. The mock sweater and jeans disappeared, replaced by a long, thin, slender body, and tall, freakishly disproportionate legs. It continued growing in size, until it had reached a height of about 20 feet,. It's small yet, disturbing white body towering over the trees, it's head looked down at Joey, drooping it down, it began to twitch uncontrollably. 

"Oh ponyfeathers, uh, RD, time to go!!!" He flapped his wings, shooting into the air, his gaze fixed on the abnormal monstrosity below him. It twisted it's neck around to look at him, and began reaching for him with it's long and disproportionate arms, Joey jerked his forelegs away before it could grab them, and flew up further. He turned to see Rainbow, with an equally perplexed and terrified look on her face, as the 2 off them flew off toward Ponyville, they could hear roaring behind them, alongside the rustling of the tree's.

"What in Celestia's name was that!?" Rainbow cried out.

"I have no idea, just keep flying!" The terrain below them turned to meadow, and the shining lights of Ponyville came into sight. Joey looked behind them, to see the creature break through the treeline behind them.

"You get Twilight, I'll get Will-" Joey was cut off when something flew past him, slamming into the abomination below, the resulting blast wave sent a cloud of dust into the air. He turned back to see the shadowy form of William standing at the edge of town, with a Javelin anti tank guided missile launcher in hand, wisps of smoke emanating from it's barrel.

"You're welcome!" He could hear him shout in the distance. William slung the weapon over is shoulder, and ran for the crater which the rocket had made. He came to a stop at the carcass of the monster, and kicked it a few times.

"It's dead!" Joey flew down, landing next to him, shuddering as he stared at the disfigured, mutilated corpse.

"Ugh, thank you so much."

"Hey, what happened!?" Joey turned to find all of the six, rushing for him in the darkness.

"There was somethin' stalkin' around ma barn!" Said applejack.

"There was something fumbling around in my kitchen. "Pinkie shouted.

"Something was trying to grab the students!"  Exclaimed Twilight. The entire group came to a screeching halt when they cought sight of the corpse.

"What in Tartarus is that thing!?" They all collectively asked. William calmly turned around, and responded.

"This, is the ####er that's been causing all that commotion around town, tried to grab me right off my back porch, well, it's dead now!" He kicked it one more time to prove his point. This time, it's body shifted slightly.

"Not quiet dead." He drew a flamethrower, and lit it ablaze. "Have the fire ponies clean this thing up for me."

"There it is!" Discord appeared before the group, stopping for a moment to take a long, hard look at the flaming carcass on the ground.

"Explain." William demanded.

"So  anyway, as I've said before, I'm big into your world's pop culture, and..."

"Spit it out."

"I summoned a monster created by a human named Trevor Henderson! Please don't kill me, it was an accident!"

"Are you kidding me?" William asked in disbelief.

"No, unfortunately I am not."

"Never, ever, for the love of all Equestria, ever do that again, it that understood!?" Discord swallowed hard.

"Yes." William dusted off his glove clad hands.

"My work here is done, see you all tomorrow morning."  He walked away, the slowly dying flames casting long shadows alongside his shiloette as he walked away, he let out a single, blood curdling laugh into the night. leaving Joey, Discord, Spike, the six, Starlight Glimmer, and the rest of Ponyville wondering, who had been the real danger. The monster, or William?
> A new, less than welcome face
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William paced back and forth in his bedroom, tapping his boot's on the hardwood flor as he went. The 'incident' from last night still fresh in his mind, which he was trying to get out, tough as he had been, that 'thing' had still given him a spook, and was more than glad at the fact that it was now agonizingly  residing in Tartarus, currently, as alway's he was bored, and was thinking of idea's to make his day better, his mind drifted back to his time on earth, and then it came to him.

"How 'bout home improvement?"  He pulled open the dull brown window shutter's open, letting the Equestrian sun in, William shoved  the window panes aside, manifested himself up a half dozen 30.06 caliber bullet casings, some paracord, and a power drill, he rushed back to his bedside drawer, reaching in, he pulled out a single steel nail, as for why there was one in in his bedside, well... He wasn't quite sure how it had ended up there, deciding that it had most likely been placed there by him when he had first moved in. He strolled back over to the window.

"This is gonna be awesome." He murmured to himself, as he drilled holes through the casing's, and strung the paracord through them, until he had as set of windchimes.

"Perfect, why did I not think of this before?" He leaned out a bit further to mount it above, when he was abruptly interrupted by a certain alicorn.

"What are you doing?" He heard Joey ask, as he hovered just parallel to William.

"Good morning to you to, I'm currently installing a set of windchime's." His friend raised an eyebrow, and squinted closer. "Are those bullet casings?"

"Empty ones." William replied. Now, would you mind leaving me alone?" 

"Eh, ok, see you later I guess?" The look in William's eye's was cold and dead. "Leave me be, I'm trying not to-" Just as William set the chimes in place, he slipped, and plummeted 15 feet, landing in a patch of flower bushes below, oddly, he didn't scream.

"Hey, William, you alright!?" Joe called out, flying down to street level, "Oh sweet Celestia, why do I keep making him fall? First it was that while incident at the school, now this, what's wrong with me?" He shook his head, realizing that both of those where partially William's fault as much as his, albeit, he had failed to catch his friend twice now.

"Ughh." Joey heard William moan as his slowly saw his friend rise up out of the bushes, and started back towards his front door, he made it 2 step's before Joey heard a crack, and a moment later, his shriek of pain that echoed out across the entire valley.


"Don't worry, it's nothing serious, it's just a pulled muscle, take it easy for a few day's, and it should be back to normal. Want something for the pain?" Dr. Horse asked William as he sat on on the examination table in one of Ponyville general's many hospital's, staring out the window as he did.

"You sure about that? It hurt's like hell." William asked, still mildly concerned.

"Yes, there are some aspects of biology that almost every species possesses, muscle cramps regrettably included."

"Well, if you don't mind, not that I care if you do, thanks for figuring it out, I'll be on my way now. I go somewhere...not here!" He shouted triumphantly. Shoving himself off the table, he speedily limbed out the doorway, and down the hallway, much to the surprise of both Twilight and Joey.

"Nothing quite like a muscle cramp to make a heavily armed genocidal psychopathy less intimidating am I right?" Joey said with sarcasm, nudging Twilight's shoulder as he did.

"You're right about that." The 2 hurried off after William, who had, to their surprise, already made it to the exit.


"All this time, all the skirmishes, all the firefight's, all the monster's, and the thing that get's me is a leg cramp, #### you universe." William cursed under his breath as he stumbled his way down the street, inching closer and closer to his detonation, that being the school of friendship. Much to his annoyance, there where actually a few creature's there worth mentoring. They where in need of guidance, and he wasn't about to let them turn to hippie friendship magic. His limp had been noticed by quite a few now, as was the fact that he was obviously in pain. As he entered through the main gates, passing though the gardens, he caught sight of something odd, yet not entirely unexpected, the self proclaimed 'CMC' or 
Cutie Mark-

"Nope, not saying their name out loud, I've had my fill of bull#### today already, my ####ing leg has made sure of that!" He straggled his way over to them, they had formed a stack in an attempt to pear into an upstairs window.

"Hey, small children, git'down!" He ordered, the group turned to look at him, causing them to lose their balance and topple to the ground in a heap. He slowly approached them.

"Leave, now, I don't have time to put up with this." he waved his bayonet topped M4 at them, then at the archway leading out of the gardens, they franticly nodded, and left.

"Heh, looks like they know what's good for them." He swung the door's aside, and walked in, barging down the corridor's, up the nearest stair well, and into the theater room. The only thing more disturbing than the lavish, clearly Equestrian décor was what Pinkie was doing with the young six.

"Finish your cupcakes and follow me!" He ordered them, they all stopped what they where doing, and lined up before him.

"Listen, I don't care how traumatizing last night might have been, that thing's dead now, I direct impacted it with an anti tank round, and doused it with napalm. I have an important lesson for you all, although I would prefer to give it someplace less...this." He waved out the room around them.

"Uh, why are you limping?" Ocellus asked.

"Errr, classified, let's go!" He led the group of  creatures down the hallway to an empty class room which Twilight had...reluctantly given him access to.

"Alright, today's lesson-" He scribbled some words on the chalkboard.

"Semper Paratus!" He exclaimed, the group looked at him, confused.

"What does that mean?" Gallus asked.

"Well, it's the Latin term for always ready, the boy scout moto." he paused for a moment, immediately regretting his decision.

"What are the boy scouts?" Ember questioned.

"Oh ####, ok, side lesson: What are the  boy scouts and why I never enrolled in them, and hate them to this day."

One 'quick' explanation later...

"Seriously, you hate them because your parents forced you to give it a try?" They asked, given what they knew about William, the way he always acted with such authority, even going so far as to casually speak to the Princesses as though they were just another pony, they had hardly expected them to give them a story about his parents forcing him to tyr it, and him rebelling in turn.

"So anyway, that's that, I'm not answering any of your questions about...that topic. Arighty then, back to Semper Paratus- He stopped for  a moment when he heard crying, followed by a young pegasus with a curly blue mane go galloping past the room they where in. Mumbling something about 'flunking out'. Most would have felt sympathy, him, not in the slightest, the slight of it all gave him an uneasy feeling.


"Keep on running, you piece of ####." he said under his breath.

"What was that?" Silverstream mused, William brought his first down on the desk.

"Class dismissed! You don't have to go home but ya can stay here!" He yelled quickly, turning to follow that strange pink and blue pegasus, he didn't quite know why, but something about the whole thing just seemed...Off, being as good a liar as he was, he had met enough faker's to know when a person, or creature was one. It was almost enough to take his mind off that damned leg cramp. Which still caused him to limp slightly as he pursued. Eventually leading him to Starlight's office.

"Now what are you up to, little monster?"
> A Face From The Past
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William, Joey, the six, Starlight, and Spike sat in a semicircle in Twilight's office, and for once, while everycreture else seemed to know what was going on, William was left in the dark, both literally, and figuratively. He resided in the dark corner of the room, having intentionally pulled down the curtains. And he hadn't exactly been briefed on his reason for being there. The only reason he hadn't abandoned them in favor of some nice target practice on the outskirts of the Everfree forest, was because, as usual, he was bored, his tailing an investigation  of that so called 'Cozy Glow'  had grown cold, and he needed a respite from town anyway. This was the only thing they had told him. Finally, he decided to speak up about it.

"Why am I here?" He asked them, having lived here for several months now, he expected something more than "We're going on a retreat." But go figure. He stood up, and approched the group, standing in the center of their gathering.

"Where? And why did you drag me out of my bed at 5:30 in the morning!? I thought I had made it more than clear that I value my sleep.

"Why, the Everfree forest of course!" Rarity spoke up. William scratched his head out of a mixture of both frustration, and confusion, "And why, I thought you ponies hated that place."

"Well, I wouldn't say...hate," Twilight told the angry armored being towering above her, "More like avoid. We decided to bring you along because;1. Zecora wasn't available, and, 2. You spend most of your day out there, what are you doing out there anyway?" William's response was instant. "I like silence, and recreational violence. No, I'm not explaining that last part to you." Twilight gave him an awkward smile, and a nod of, "What's wrong with you?" He shrugged. And turned his attention to the olive green unicorn mare which had just barged into the room, a camera slung around her neck.

"I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me? I don't expect you to forgive me- Forgive me?" The mare gave her best sympathy smile, and Twilight groaned in annoyance. 

"Hold on, who are you? And why are you here?" William demanded, setting his left hand on the M45A1 pistol lying dormant in a thigh holster. As  son as the mare turned to look at him, her enthusiasm seemed to fade, and she took a step back.

"I- It's you, hehe." She blurted out, momentarily breaking character. William knew that this equine wasn't telling whole truth. So he pressed further. "Who are you really? How did you recognize me?" The mare had began rushing around the room, grabbing photo's of the six, and snatching little strands of their mane as she did, ignoring both Starlight, and Joey. William noticed that her magic glowed a dark green, it was vaguely familiar, yet he couldn't quite place it.

"Hey, I asked you a question damnit!" He repeated as the grip on his sidearm tightened as he ran his gloved fingers over the hard plastic of the holster, his trigger finger tapping the safety as he did.

"Uh, thanks for the pictures princess!" The mare said, excusing herself, she turned and galloped out of the room. William rushed out the door to chase after her, but by the time he got to the doorway, she was already gone.

"Who the hell was that? He poked at Twilight. Who pulled out a golden pocket watch, and flipped it open, before snapping it back shut a moment later. 

"That, was the photographer I hired-" Twilight hadn't finished he sentence before William resumed interrogating her. "Why did she recognize me? Why was she scared of me? And why did she take stands of your manes? And why did she leave Joey and Starlight alone?"

"You're not exactly that discrete, "Joey spoke up," You walk around in armor, carry loaded weapons around like a toddler with their blanket, and you just...how do I put it? Ah yes, stick out like a sore hoof!?" William pulled  down his ski mask and gave the group a wicked grin. "I've read the paper's, it's not like this is the first time I've been told this." Starlight's horn lit up, dragging an old newspaper off the shelves.

"You've made the front page multiple time's, and most often or not, it's not for a good reason. "William laughed, and pulled down his ski mask, taking his hand off his sidearm as he did. "That's for damn sure, but then again, why should I care what a bunch of colorful equines think of me?" He turned, and waved at the doorway, "Well, are you all packed? Let's go!" The group looked at one another, then back at the overly enthusiastic soldier in front of them.

"Should we be worried he's to excited about this?" Starlight aske the group. Joey rolled his eyes, "I know William, or at least, I think I do-" He was interrupted when he looked over to see William jumping out of the office window, followed by"QUIET KID GET'S WHAT QUIET KID WANTS!!!" Echoing though the building.

"Well, I suppose that's our call to go?" Twilight said nervously, in her mind, she knew that this would most likely be a mistake, still it was William. And she knew that she really couldn't stop him, even if she wanted to. Deep down, the last thing she wanted for her, the royal sisters, and her friends was to be on the wrong end of one of William's 'firearms' as he called them.


The group of ponies walked through the Everfree forest, With William leading the way, well, not so much as leading the way as going on ahead as far forward as he pleased, and yelling for the group to catch up the whole time. Much to the bain of the rest of them, who where stuck at Starlight's pace, being that they had near overburdened her with 'camping supplies' something William found laughable, Applejack was lugging a cart being her with twice the weight in cargo, and showing no signs of fatigue. Some things in this world would just never make sense to him, no matter how hard he tried tried to rationalize it.

"Yo, Twilight, where exactly are we going?" He called out from ahead of the group, he could hear stumbling behind him, most likely the group still trying to get themselves in order, he finally heard her call back, "You're supposed to be the one guarding us!" he rolled his eyes, they had made him come with them, he wanted a better response than that.

"Answer the damn question! "He repeated, trying to resist the urge to rush back there and waterboard Twilight for the information. At last, after hearing the group mumble to themselves for a few moments, she responded; "We're headed for the cliffs at the bottom of the ravine near the castle of the 2 sisters! The tree of harmony to be exact!" This response made him stop and ponder for a moment, "Tree of harmony?" He repeated the phase to himself in his head several times, finally, he swallowed hard with the realization as to what it was, "Elements of harmony? Tree of harmony? Oh #### , must be where they originated from, actually..." He thought back to his time on earth, particularly, his 'closet brony' phase. And groaned, he could barely handle the six as where, but a whole trees worth of equally powerful gems? And a magical spirit to boot? No, it was to much for him. 

"Hey, Twilight, what's that 'spirit' you kept muttering on about?" He could hear rustling in the bushes, both around, and behind him, and rapid hoof steps that sounded a suspicious lot like Pinkie Pie, " How do you know about it? I just told you about the tree!" Being that he still wasn't in the mood to reveal his past to a bunch of candy colored equiods, at least, not this part, he lied, "Heard you mumblin' about it a few days ago! Didn't take long for me to put 2 and 2 together!" he let out a sigh, and continued marching on along. Slinging his FN MG68 squad automatic weapon back over his shoulder. While he could make it disappear and or reappear at any time, it was comforting to feel such power on his back, it gave him reassurance that he wasn't just a normal human, at the mercy of Equestria's magic. That, combined with his vast ego, made him a utterly terrifying foe on the battlefield, and an even more terrifying ally. Everywhere he went, he would get the slight feeling that creatures where scared, intimidated, or at the very least, stunned by his appearance. He shifted his gaze back to the group ponies he was currently "Escorting", grunting in frustration as he did. "Escorting? More like foal sitting."

"This was a bad idea, I hate trail hiking, sure, it's easier, but boring, this is the freaking Everfree forest, and I think I have just the thing for myself." With a confident look on his face, he ducked into the treeline, and as he did, breaking line of sight with the six, and his friend. Rustling his way through the lush foliage on the side of the path, until he burst out into a small clearing, the trees had blocked out most of the sunlight here. Which, considering William hated the sun, was only a bonus. He looked back at the trail one last time, but as he turned, he was ambushed by Pinkie. "Hey, don't be so glum!" She exclaimed. As was common in moments like this, William jumped back, and without a second thought, drew the sidearm resting on his left thigh from it's holster, sending one .45 caliber tungsten round over the ecstatic earth ponies head, doing nothing to deter her. As the smoking hot brass casing hit the corse, grass covered ground below him, he realized that he probably  shouldn't have fired on one of the six, and, that they would likely be on their way to investigate what had happened. Quickly, he reholstered the pistol and  threw a flashbang. Before making for the bushes just 3 meters away on the far  side of the clearing, just barely diving in before the grenade went off, and a moment later, he heard Pinkie's cry of pain as the noise and flash temporarily disoriented her, allowing him to flee deeper into the forest.

The hasty yet well executed escape had gone down  perfectly, and William had taken to congratulating himself on his small victory, "Keep on whinin' you little monster, keep on whinin'" After his initial escape, his pace slowed to a jog, and then a leisurely stroll as he went deeper into the thick, temperate jungle of the Everfree, his sight and hearing on edge, on the lookout for anything looking to snatch him up for a mid day snack, a scenario that was very, very, unlikely to play out in the attacker's favor, seeing as William had unslung the machine gun from his shoulder, instead opting to sling it around his front, occasionally raising it at the sound of twigs breaking, or the rustling of leaves. 

"I'm so bored!" The voice made his blood run cold, and for a moment, he froze in place, raising his weapon to his shoulder, franticly searching for the voice. It was Pinkie's, of that he was sure, but it was different. Less... enthusiastic, it sounded like himself after a long day, what with only wanting to go home, plop down on the couch, and fall asleep. "Oh what the hell, let's go see what's going on over there," He ducked down, raising the gunsight to his eye, he made his way forward in the direction of the voice, the foliage around him got slightly more dense as he got closer, ducking under a series of massive root's, he came to a opening in the forest, and there before him, was the six, or at least, something that looked like them. Unlike the six, they where oddly discolored, and their fur and manes appeared to be faded. Reminiscent to a blanket or plastic toy that had been left out in the sun for to long. Patiently, he watched from the treeline as the bickered away about something, and then he caught sight of her, a tall changeling. One that he knew all to well from a close encounter 4 years prior.

"Listen to your queen! We must retrieve the elements of harmony!" Heard her order, rolling his eyes at the sheer stupidity of it all.

"Chrysalis!? Damnit!" He cursed under his breath and bit his lip, there is only one reason she would be out in the Everfree, with clones of the six. He thought back to the real six, and Joey, still ignorantly hiking their way through one of the forest's few relatively safe paths. Either that, or they had gone looking for him. He didn't mind, he was used to being tracked in the forest, and over time, had learned how to evade others, if only for short periods of time. Breathing in in and out in an attempt to calm the adrenaline rushing though him, he set the computer assisted optics crosshair's right on her head, only to bring it down a moment later. With both eyes still watching the 'queen' of the changelings, and her minions closely, trying to anticipate any sudden movements they might attempt.

"Why not just go and talk to her?" A nagging voice in his head whispered to him, he slapped the side of his ballistic helmet, and went prone on this stomach, pulling some loose leaves off the ground, and throwing them over himself, at the same time, his forest green multicam pattern fatigues where replaced by a ghillie suit. He rolled to the left, propping his gun up on the edge of the tree. "I'll wait for her to be alone, I don't know how powerful these knew minions may be, and I don't want her flying off either." He lay in wait, watching as she was approached by Twilight's clone.

"Why didn't you just attack them!?" He heard her ask. This made him smile, he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"Excuse me?" Chrysalis responded, William nodded at this, as he had seen, or at least heard many times before, she was prone to being ignorant. Expecting that just because of some fancy title, every sentient being was automatically expected to serve her, and every situation to go her way. He listened in closer, "You where close enough to pull hairs from their manes, why not just take your revenge then?" 

"They've defeated my army, and, they had that...that-" She paused for a moment as she appeared to have a flashback, before shaking her head and continuing. "That William! I swear, he's a one creature army. I know better than to strike alone, especially when he's there! I need..." William fought back a laugh, oh, how fun it was to hear other's acknowledge their totally rational fear of him. 

"The element's of harmony."

"And where are these, element's of harmony?" The clone of Twilight asked. For William, this was a good thing, if they didn't know what the element's were, that also meant they didn't know where they were. All the better for him.

"The location of the most powerful weapon in Equestria isn't something made known to just anypony."William risked snickering at this statement, "But I'm not a pony, and besides, those cute little rocks wouldn't beat me, only thing that has a decent chance of that is the uranium in a nuclear  warhead. He shuddered at the thought of Equestria possessing nuclear weapons. There were some things he was glad to keep hidden.

"I learned they where hidden somewhere in this forest." The changeling added. William clenched his fist, either Chrysalis knew about Twilight's so called 'retreat', or of that 'tree of harmony' the real Twilight had mentioned earlier. Nether where very good options. He doubted she would find either of them, especially with him nearby. "Yeah, but it's a big forest." The clone said, before going off with the rest. Finally leaving William alone with Chrysalis. Slowly, he rose up from out of the brush, he ghillie suit being replaced by his normal fatigues, vest, helmet, and other assorted gear which he always made sure to keep handy. "Hey Chrissy, long time no see. How ya been?" He asked as he stepped out into the open, he watched as the changeling queen stared back at him with a mixture of confusion and horror. He could see her eyes looking back and forth for an escape route. The 2 stood near motionless for an uncomfortably long 20 seconds, before Chrysalis spoke up,"H-How did you find me?" She demanded, trying to act tough, but William could hear the uncertainty in her voice. He held up one of his hands, being sure to keep the other firmly gripped on his Sig Sauer light machine gun.

"You're a near 6 foot tall changeling with a massive ego and an unmistakable voice, although truth be told, I came across you and your group completely by accident. "She cleared her throat and took a step back, "What do you want?" 

"What? I can't say hi to my favorite antagonist once in a while?" Her brow furrowed as her expression went back to her signature scowl of disapproval, " Last time we met you almost took my head off with that...device of yours." She gestured to the FN MG68 slung around his chest. "Err, different gun, this one is far, far more dangerous," He ran his gloved hand across it's top, tapping the scope. "You know, I could end you, right here, right now,"  Her expression went back to one of terror. "But I won't, because I'm a decent person." He sat down on a stump, crossing his legs as he did. "So, tell me about your life. "Chrysalis looked back at the treeline being her, she could try and attempt an escape at the risk of having her head blown off by the psychopath in front of her, or she could cooperate, and perhaps, get to live to fight another day." Uh, sure." She responded awkwardly, sitting down in front of him on the grass, "So, it all started when I lost my hive..."

Several hours of catchup/life counselling/therapy/ interrogation later...

"And that's what I've been doing these past four years, why did you ask instead of just killing me outright?"Chrysilis asked William, who at this point, was just about fed up with listening to this bug ##### about her life, "Hmmm, let's see, since no one seems to give a #### about you, and you claim that friendship is a bad thing, you know, that may be the case in Equestria, but where I come from, it's not magic. Although it was annoying at times. I needed somepony to talk to that was...lets go with more mature than my current friends. Anyway, on the topic of your minions, where are they?" She was taken back by this question, she still gave him an answer," They're currently out looking for the elements of harmony, and you can't stop them." William smirked, keeping other's in the dark was fun, no doubt about it. 

"Well, let's see, they're probably stalking Twilight and her friends right now, as well as a blue and white alicorn by the name of Joey, I'd guess their trying to impersonate them as well, follow-up question, what are they, fellow changelings?" Chrysalis rolled her eyes, she'd already been caught, what was the danger of telling him, "Well, if you must know, that photographer that barged into Twilight's office this morning, was me, I used the samples of hair and the pictures to create...golems of sort. It seemed like a good idea, problem is, they-"

"Act completely opposite to the real six? Yeah, I noticed that, tell you what, you've been a good bug-horse thing, you're free to go...for now, but if I ever catch you trying to pull anything, and that includes stealing from me, well..." He patted the suppressor at the end of his squad automatic weapon to further his point. Without another word, she turned, and darted off into the brush. "Oh ####, what is my life?" He pushed himself off the stump, and headed off in the opposite direction off the apparent former queen of the changelings, back toward the trail.

"Ow! Ow!" William yelped in pain as he fought his way though the thicket of thorny bushes and vines, his chosen way back was the quickest, or, at least, according to his compass it was. He himself had doubts, as did his BDU fatigues, which may have been fireproof, but most definitely not thorn proof but at long last, he broke through the treelines, swatting the prickly branches away as he did, as he turned to look into the new clearing the sight horrified him, he had seemingly stumbled upon the real six, Starlight Glimmer, an Joey, in the middle of a hug. 

"Oh, oh, ####...not again!" He fell to one knee and dry heaved. This got their attention well enough, and they stopped. Rainbow, unlike the rest of the group, who actually seemed worried, decided to take it as a joke, "What? Are you allergic to hugs?" She asked in a girly voice, William grunted, and slowly raised his middle finger above his head. "Go to Tartarus," He rasped.


"William, where have you been all day!?" Joey demanded," Pinkie says you tried to shoot her!" William just dusted off his kneepads, and laughed," Comon, Joey, you know me better than that, I didn't try to kill her, she just surprised me. I was already on edge, and she just...pushed me over." Applejack nodded behind them, "Yep, he's tellin' the truth." William breathed a sigh of relief, he may have told them the truth about this, but he had no intention whatsoever to tell them of his 'encounter' with Chrysalis. He knew she likely wouldn't hold up on her end of the bargain, so he decided to strike preemptively, he knew she was after the elements, so..." Hey, Twilight, where exactly are the elements of harmony?" He tapped his boot, and scanned the surrounding treeline for anything out of the ordinary.

"Oh, well, they're currently imbedded in the tree, the one I told you about earlier." That was all William needed to hear, he now know exactly where Chrysalis, and her minions, would be heading. Looking up in the sky to see  that the sun was beginning to set over the horizon, he snapped his fingers, manifesting a set of quad scope night vision googles, which he firmly secured to the base of his helmet.  "Let's go ponies, double time it!" He ordered, jogging off down the trail, weapon in hand.

"What's got him so worked up about?" Starlight asked. Joey breathed in through his teeth, and responded, "He knows something we don't, let's go, it's getting dark, and we wouldn't want to be caught out here without our escort." He trotted off after William, with the rest of them in close pursuit.

As soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, the scene around him went near pitch black, only to be replaced by the equestrian moon a moment later, painting the ground with pale blue and purple light. No matter how many times he watched it happen, or stayed up during the night, he never understood where the purple glow came from. As soon as it did, he switched on his NVG's and pulled them down over his eyes. "Bravo six, going dark." He said to himself with a chuckle, that would likely never get old. With his rile raised, he advanced into the canyon. Just in time to catch eye of six ponies that were most definitely not the main six, he quickened his pace, jumping from the final ledge, he hit the solid rocky ground of the ravine running, he stormed his way to the cave opening, inside, there stood a massive glowing crystalline tree, with dozens of small gems growing like fruit on it's lower branches, he looked to  the top of the tree, to find six branches crowning in, each one had one of the elements imbedded in it.

"Bingo." He murmured, he saw that the clones where drawing closer and closer to the tree, so, he did the only thing he thought reasonable, kill them. He raised the stock of the LMG to his shoulder, training the weapon on Twilight's clone, he squeezed  the trigger, sending 2 rounds of 6.8 MM into the beings skull, it fell to the ground, and disappeared in a flash of green light, revealing a piece of wood.

"Huh, the changeling was right after all." Before the other 5 were able to react, William had already put a bullet in the back of each of they're heads, sending them all crumpling to the ground. Bing that the weapon was suppressed, and that the real six hadn't yet made it down into the ravine to set up camp. No creature was around to hear the whole thing go down. He took one look at the tree of harmony, examining it for weaknesses.

"Another day maybe, another day." He lowered his weapon, turned around, and left the vicinity of the cave, with his NVG's still illuminating the surrounding area for him with green-blue light. He sat down on a nearby bolder and relined back as the six made their way to the bottom.

"Hey, William, you there?" Joey called out, "Yep, I'm here." William responded, he was exhausted at this point, he had spent almost the entire day running around the forest, fueled only by the occasional trail snack and water from his canteen, that, and rage. With just a smidge of adrenaline to top it all off.
"What where you doing down here, why where you in such a rush?" William smiled at this, "Just tying up lose ends." He turned and looked at the moon, just in time to see the dark form of Chrysalis fly off into the night sky.

"Yep, just tying up lose ends."
> Educational Support
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William sat in the school's auditorium , surrounded by student's and visitors alike. As usual, he wasn't quite in the mood for something like this. He ran his fingers along his left kneepad. Why he ever bothered to stick around in this place, he didn't know. As usual, it had been Joey who Twilight had sent after him to try and convince him to come back and teach, most of the student's here seemed to treat William with authority, even more so than the six. Personally, he thought it was because they where scared he'd shoot them if they stepped out of line. Well, it was either than or they actually enjoyed his company. Something he personally found laughable. The creatures of this school needed an honest guide to teach them how to survive in the real world, something Twilight, and the other 'teachers' always seemed to either avoid or neglect entirely He watched as Twilight levitated a large wooden chest gilded with gems  in front of her. Spike pulled the latch, and from it flew a half dozen items of varying size , a helmet, a cloak, an amulet, a crown, a wand, ect. "Who can tell me what these are?" Twilight asked the students, it didn't take long for William to realize that these weren't exactly normal article's of clothing, or fake props, they where most likely, actually most definitely enchanted. Rather than speaking up, he waited for one of the creatures around him to speak up.

"Oh, they're all legendary magical artifacts!" Ocellus responded, "Heh, I read ahead in equestrian culture's and comradery, volume 7." William gave a slight nod of approval, though it wasn't to the changeling's shy answer, he couldn't help but wonder, "Just where and how did these things end up in equestrian hooves?" While he had little to no knowledge of equestrian history outside of what he already knew from his time back on earth. He did know that most of those artifacts where most certainly not equestrian in origin. He stood up from his seat and snapped his finger to get Twilight's attention, "Hey, Twilight, just where did you get these things?" he folded his arms in front of his chest, laying them on top of the 5.56 magazine and 6.8 LMG pouches on  his ballistic vest. Which he had recently been toying around with in an attempt to increase it's resistance to magic. Confidently, he awaited her answer. 

"Well, William, I'm glad you asked, "She responded, seemingly unfazed by his demeanor, "Princess Celestia gifted these to our school, since they each represent one of the culture's our student's come from." William scowled at this ,"And where did she get them? Uhuh, That's what I thought." The crowd momentarily turned to look at him as though he was insane to be questioning something like this. "Facist." He whispered to himself as he sat back down and watched as she began to list off the names of the various items. He had a few questions about them, but decided to save them for a time when he wasn't being watched by an entire auditorium's worth of...less then competent beings. 

"And well learn all about them, with a spell render hunt!" William groaned and slammed the back of his boot into the wooden seat, cracking it. This was getting real annoying, real quick, he had to find a way to get the alicorn in front of him to wrap it up. A his eyes drifted around the room for a way out, he noticed something, Twilight's 'mark' had begun pulsing with light.

"Oi, Twilight, your mark's a-glowing." She stopped mid sentence, and turned to look. He chuckled, "That's one way to get out of lecture hall." He stood up, gave the group of assorted creatures in the stands a thumbs up, and hurried off through the doorway as just Twilight excused herself.

"So, what is it?" William demanded the group as he threw aside the doors of the castle of friendship's 'throne room' .To find the six, as well as Spike.

"Friendship quest, an important one, and quite far away as well." Twilight explained to him, still panting for breath, William turned and raised an eyebrow at Twilight, "How the hell did you get here first, I was halfway out of the school when you left the auditorium- Oh, alicorn, right...nevermind. Continue." He groaned and rubbed his forehead, " I hate magic. "He looked across the table, on the far side, hovering just above the projection of a mountain, where the 'cutie' marks of the six. He shivered momentarily, he had never liked that term.

"Just getting there will take days!" Rainbow shouted out, throwing her hooves in the air. William rolled his eyes at this, albeit, he was annoyed as well, he had no intention of walking that far. He turned to Applejack, "Don't ya know what this means? There won't be any teachers left to run the school!" This got William's attention, they would most likely get somepony to sub in for the few day that they were going to be away, and he would likely be the one to supervise them, well, they'd probably choose Starlight over him, but still, it was his self sworn duty to keep himself from losing his sanity.

"Should we send our students home?" Asked Fluttershy.

"I say we take them with us, road trip!" Pinkie exclaimed. William covered his ears and spoke up, "How 'bout you just let me sub in for a few day's?" The six looked at each other, and began laughing. William rolled his eyes, smiled, then drew the M45A1 halfway from his holster, all while flashing the stun gun at then end of at tactical flashlight. Ushering the six to shut up. Turning to scowl at Rarity," Oh, but I'm right in the middle of my quilting class-" William cupped a gloved hand around her muzzle, then steppe back, "Shut up! All of you! Can you please, please, just listen to me for once? You know me, I won't put your students in any real danger, plus, if anything goes slideway's, I could always just enlist the help of Starlight, or Joey, you guy's trust him...right?" They looked at each other, William could tell that they weren't exactly happy with his decision, after a few moments, they responded, "How about we just make Starlight head mare for now? You can be...uh...backup!" William took his hand of his sidearm, clenching his fist as he did, the flashlight disappeared in the other hand. 

"Fine, go get her." William was not happy in the slightest. While Starlight might have made a decent councilor, he knew she would flunk this. Either way, he would be sure to keep a close eye on the school for the next couple of days. 

Several, long, long days later...

William trudged his way down the main hallway, his eyes where bloodshot, when he had agreed to take this job 3 day's prior, he couldn't have had the slightest clue that Discord of all creature's, would have been interested in the same position. As so it had been that he had to fight of wave upon wave of insanity, Discord may have been an immortal draconequus, but William was a human quiet kid, and he wasn't about to let him ruin this,  he had just barely managed to keep things from falling apart, at least until Starlight Glimmer had been able to get herself together, at least, as much as one could when having to deal with Discord. Now, they where back in the auditorium, waiting for Starlight's next 'teacher' to arrive on stage. The double doors on the far side of the room swung open, only it wasn't the substitute, it was Discord, making another movie reference.

"Yo, greetings fellow creatures!" William facepalmed as a blue unicorn wearing a cloak and a wizards hat appeared up on stage. "Welcome class, you may call me the great and powerful professor Trixie-" William looked over at Discord, who appeared to be fumbling around with...a banana phone? No, he had had enough, he stood up, flexing his gloved hands as he did. "Discord, put that thing away before I start humming pumped up kicks. And you," He turned to Trixie," Ya look like a retarded horse version of Miss Frizzle! Curb your ego, or else, my little armalite will." The rest of the creature in the room stopped to look at him with confusion, Discord on the other hand, burst out laughing, go figure. "Hey, Discord, I get it, I'm funny, look around, you're the only one here that got that joke, you can calm down now. He grunted, and crossed his paw/talon in disapproval. William waved Trixie on ahead, "So, what where you trying to do?" She grinned at set her hat down, reaching into it, she pulled out a...pig with wings? 

"Wait, is that a-" he wasn't able to finish his sentence before Trixie had reached back into the hat and pulled out...Derpy, well, it likely wasn't what she was intending, but it was fine by William, "Hey Drepy! How you doing?" He waved at her, "Oh hi Willi-" Trixie dropped her back into the hat before she had a chance to say anything more. But before William could get up to say anything more, she reached in again, and pulled out a massive glowing bear, with in turn roared at the class.  Without a second thought, William dove for cover, and drew his M45A1, putting 5 rounds of armor piercing directly into the creatures nasal cavity, only serving to anger it more, it roared in pain, and swung one of it's claws, demolishing the thankfully empty seats. His sidearm was replaced by his trusty MG 68,  training it's reticle on the monsters head, he held down on the trigger, spraying the being with tungsten, at the same time, Trixie lit her horn, causing the monster to disappear, leaving no trace of the monster except for the destroyed seats, and bullet holes in the walls. He looked over to where Discord was, to find that he had already fled the scene. "Damn you." He said in between breaths, he slowly turned to Trixie, waving his LMG at the unicorn, "You...Pack up your things...and go." Trixie could tell from his tone of voice alone, that he wasn't joking around anymore. She nodded, and in a flash of light, she was gone, leaving William alone in the wreckage,  still in shook from what had just happened. Starlight and Spike burst into the room a moment later.

"Discord?" She asked in a dead tone of voice. William looked up at her with his sweat covered and bloodshot eyed face, "Discord."

William stood in front of Twilight's office, with the young six on one side, and Discord, Spike, and Starlight on the other. After quite a bit of negotiating, they had finally come to a deal with him. Or at least, Starlight had, William was still angry at him on the account of having his life been endangered twice. Twilight and the other 5 trotted through the door, covered in mud and branches. Alongside them was Joey, who didn't exactly appear to be in the best mood.

"Discord! I can't believe you tricked us into going on a friendship quest that wasn't real!" William chuckled, "He's the lord of chaos, it's highly unlikely that you wouldn't believe it." Twilight ignored him.

"Oh, back so soon?" The draconequus asked with sarcasm. The six where not amused by this.

"A fake summons's from the map?" Rainbow asked. Turning to Pinkie, who seemed slightly more enthusiastic than the rest, "Hey, at least we got to go spelunking in that really creepy cave with all those eyeless worm creatures chasing us!" William groaned, going on this fake mission would have been a much, much better use of his time than sticking around here to teach ponies  what the second amendment was. Or was it?

Joey spoke up, "Heh, you would've loved it William, it was dark, and terrifying, and we could've used your...talents." The exhausted look on  both of  their faces told the whole story. "Yes, yes, I think would've."

"Hey, man, if you want, I can show you where that cave is later." William thought about it for a moment, but just shook his head, potential graboid encounter or not, he didn't want to hike for several days unless he absolutely had to."Y'all do what you please, I'm off to bed, and no, I don't care it's the middle of the afternoon!"
> Operator? Are you there?: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William stood up out of bed as usual, and yanked open the window shutters on the far side of the room, looking out at the gleaming snow covered streets of Ponyville, it was December alright, and, to add to it, Christmas was right around the corner. Affectionately dubbed 'Hearth's Warming Eve' by the citizens of Equestria. Eh, it didn't much matter to him, more fun, as it happened, Christmas was one of the few holiday's which he did not dispise. And as was typical for him, he even had a saying for this particular time of year; "If Christmas is right around the corner, I'll be waiting for it on the other side with a 12 gauge." As he stared down at the street, watching as various ponies left their houses and headed off to wherever they where going for the day, he couldn't help but think about his family and friends back home. His cover story for his abrupt disappearance was that he had taken an unspecified off the books job deep in the Alaskan wilderness. Which, judging from his past few visits back home, had been pretty convincing.

"People will believe anything, as long as the person who conveys the information is convincing enough." He thought to himself with a smirk, more than that, it was also coming up on his first equestrian new year. Something he had decided to put out of his mind for now. As always, he went through his brief, well practiced routine of getting dressed, this time around, with a white multicam jacket and light snow pant's rather than his normal forest green BDU's, with an olive green T-shirt underneath. Over it went an all white version of his normal combat vest, a ski mask, and a ballistic helmet with anti fog ski googles. He went with his regular boot's, seeing as they where already waterproof and quite comfy as where. Eagerly, he reached into his thigh holster, drawing his preferred sidearm of choice, and M45A1 pistol chambered in .45 ACP. It was more or less the same as the older Colt M1911's which he had tried using before, but had found the low magazine capacity distressing. The M45A1 solved this, unlike the M1911, it was designed to fit double stack magazines, increasing the base capacity from 7 rounds, to 10, his preferred ammo type of choice was FMJ(Full Metal Jacket) Tungsten. All of that, coupled with a red dot sight for quick acquisition, and it was just the sidearm for him. He aimed it at the wall, set it back into the holster, and repeated this action several times, also sliding the magazine in and out. Satisfied, he headed the bathroom for  a morning 'pitstop', and from there, headed downstairs to his kitchen to set nab some coffee. Of course, after it was made he had to go and get it outside, waiting for it to cool down. He liked his coffee cold, and with milk, no sugar. After making sure it had reached just the right tempature, William brought it inside and, after making sure the back door was locked, sat down on his couch, grabbed a copy of 'guns and ammo' which he had snatched from his collage dorm room before fleeing.

"Damn, this is perfect, just perfect, peace, quiet, guns, equestria, it's all...perfect." He mumbled to himself as finished downing the rest of his coffee. He set the empty mug down at his side, zipped up his jacket, and made for the front door. Without stopping to peer through the security camera's, he swung the door open, and was met with a snowball to the face.

"Ha! Got-" The group of colt's stopped mid sentence, and looked up at William, who was brushing the snow from his mask. A smile began to grow behind it. "I hate snow, at least, I used to, pick a god and start prayin' little ones." He said calmly, reaching down by his feet, he grabbed some snow off the ground, shaped it into a ball, and lobbed it right between the nose of the first one as hard as he could, sending the unicorn colt tumbling over. They laughed, and galloped off.  William brushed the rest of the snow out of his eyes. 

"An equestrian snow fight, well, they got magic, who say's I can't use some tools of my own? "With a half dozen snow ball's in one hand, and an M203 grenade launcher in the other. Joey was watching this all play out from his own front porch. "Heh, William's acting a tad bit more...cheerful than normal, I ought to check this out." He stepped off the porch, and slipped on a patch of ice, landing on his tail with a yelp of pain.

"Hey, William!" Joey banged on the front door of Williams house, still wincing in pain from the fall earlier, "Come in!" He heard from inside, a moment later, he heard a mechanical beep, and the front door swung open. Slowly, he trotted inside,  hearing the door slam behind him, as he entered the front room, he found William, sitting on the couch, fumbling away with a grenade launcher and a bowl of snowballs.

"What are you doing, and why did the door swing open by itself?" William didn't respond, he appeared to finish with what he was doing, and had began putting the launcher back together with slightly more force than was necessary. He looked up from it just long enough to catch sight of the alicorn standing by the door. "Oh, hey Joey, didn't see you there, like it?" He raised the weapon up in the air, Joey  cocked his head, "What did you do to it?"  William opened the chamber, grabbed one of the shell's  lying on the table, and loaded it into it. "Follow me." The 2 of them walked back outside, William's eyes began to scan the street, searching for the colt's that had ambushed him earlier. "Where are they?" Joey rolled his eyes, "You're joking right, I mean, they're just kid's, you can't seriously be thinking of using that on them, are you?" William stopped him, pointing to an alleyway on the far side of the road, there where the 4 colt's that had messed with him about a half hour prior, He laid the weapon's broad sight's onto them, and pulled down on the trigger. A single round flew from it's barrel, smoothing the colt's with blinding snow. "Well, least now I know it works."

"Wait, wait,  wait, you built a snowball launcher? Of all things?" William shrugged. He couldn't care less what other's thought of it, he just wanted to make those idiot's pay for interrupting his morning walk. And if that meant sending them home shivering and sniffling, so be it. Aggressively, he racked another shell into the launcher.


"Ah, nothing but me, my truck, and empty road for miles." Deputy Preston Marmoza thought to himself as he drove down a rural road somewhere under the shadow of the long dead Yuba volcano. The skies where covered in grey clouds, but oddly, it had just now began to drizzle. After highschool, 3 year's ago, he had graduated high school, and simultaneously, had received a scholarship for the Sacramento country police academy. Now at the age of 22, he believed he had had found his true calling, and while at this point, while he was only a deputy, he had already had to deal with his fair share of lawbreakers and miscreants .From loose livestock, to the occasional drunk driver and speeder. Being as remote as this part of California was, it was no surprise to the other members of the county sheriff's department that they where a common occurrence, people were more likely to break the law, given that they thought it would be less likely they would be caught. He switched on the radio. Putting on some nice country music to match the scene's of isolated farmland passing him by. As he stopped at an intersection, he caught sight of a shimmer on the road, at the same time, his radio began crackle with static, he looked closer at the shimmer, it looked a bit like the road on a hot summer day, with heat waves radiating off the pavement. 
"Only thing is, it's 55 degree's out and overcast."  

Preston reached for his radio to call the station. But just as with his music, he was met with garbled crackling. "Oh, oh ####." He was began  to feel nervous, the shimmer ahead of him had began glowing a shade of purple, he reached down to his hip, putting his hand on the grip of his service issued Glock 17. He didn't know exactly what he was witnessing. But the loaded weapon on his hip gave him a small boost of confidence. Which soon diminished when the shimmer began to speed towards him. He pulled the truck into reverse, and began to drive backwards as fast as his vehicle would. But it was to late, the shimmer of energy slammed into truck, he tried to stay conscious, but something made him black out.


"Well, today was... Interesting." Joey said with a chuckle was the both of them sat on  bench on a hill overlooking town, this  particular one was special, that being because it was the same place where he had launched his attack against invading griffon, changeling, and dragon armies, and won. It had just now began to snow again, after being clear skies all day.

"Yep, nothing but terrorizing little colt's and being angry. Just another day in the chaotic paradise that is Equestria. Am I right?"  Joey nodded. William looked out on the vast valley that Ponyville lay in, watching as the occasional pegasi flew by. Bringing back to his mind something that Luna had said to him.


"Question, what are you gettin' me for Christmas?" Joey was taken back at this. He knew William wasn't much one for gifts. "Well, what do you want?" He responded. William paused for a moment, and sighed as his eyes began to wander again. "Hmmm, I don't know, normally I'd say firearms.. but then again..." A  Glock 19 appeared in his hand, then disappeared just to prove his point. "Yeah, I see what you mean." William scratched his head, and kicked some snow out from underneath the bench. He clenched his fist, and rested it on the armrest on the side. "Wait a moment, do you remember that 'thing' I told you about a while back?" He said awkwardly, Joey thought back for a  moment, and nodded, "Wait, you're choosing now, of all time's to go through with it?" He gave him a weak thumbs up in response," Yep, I'm going to go out an say it out loud-" William stopped for a moment, and gagged, "Turn me into a pony." He immediately facepalmed out of realization as to how stupid he must've sounded with those words coming out of his mouth. His friend simply nodded. 

"Well, alright then. Are you sure?" William continued his thumbs up a little longer, before finally dropping it. "Yep, you said Twilight taught you a few transformation spells?" He nodded. "Yep, she sure did." William stood up, and began to walk away, "I would prefer it if you went through with it in my sleep, make's it less...awkward, if you know what I mean, also, I would much like the spell to not be permanent, please and thank you." With that, William waved goodnight and disappeared into the forest, his camouflaged form quickly blending into the snow covered foliage. Joey headed off the opposite way. Glad that William had finally decided to go through with it.
> Operator? Are you there?: Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

White, all white, and bone chilling cold."Ahhh, damnit! What the #### just happened?" Officer Preston had found himself lying facedown in in a snowbank. His bones where seething in agony combination of the cold, and the wave of strange supernatural energy which had slammed into his pickup truck. With sweat dripping from his brow, he pushed himself up to his knees, He opened his eye's, and looked back and forth, his vision was still blurry, but he could make just barely make out the tree's around him, they where tall, and a deep green, the ground was covered in a thick layer of snow. As his boot's dug into it, he spun around in a full circle, searching for any sign of his truck.

"Oh, ####, oh ####" He swore as his breath began to quicken. Franticly, he reached for his Glock, just barely managing to draw it from his holster, he could barely feel his finger's, and his grip loosened enough for the weapon to slide out of his hand, dropping to the snow covered ground. "A-Am I dead?" He asked. The terrified deputy didn't get a response, only the quiet whistling of the chilling wind blowing through the trees. "Damn, no response. Well, this looks real enough, but this doesn't look like California. Not even close. What happened?" He  crawled over to his gun and scooped it up. Waving it around at the tree's as he thought back, "There was that weird glowing thing on the road, I reached for my radio to ask the station for assistance. Then I just...blacked out, and now I'm here, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, ####!" He shouted, he could hear a flock of bird's take off in the distance. Still shivering, he backed up against a tree, and tried to collect himself.
"Don't panic, remember your training, but Preston, your training didn't involve getting teleported by god knows what!" He slammed his fist into the trunk he was leaning behind, but then felt something peculiar just underneath the slow. Curious, he dug down, only to fin-"A bullet casing? 5.56 NATO?" He breathed a small sigh of victory, brass casings meant people, and people meant society. And that meant warmth.  Cursing at the fact that he was wearing only a brown T-shirt and cargo pant's,  he stood up, and looked around again. By now, the fuzziness in his vision had cleared. Allowing him to see full well the nature of his predicament.

"I'm going to have a hell of a story to tell to my buddies back home." He joked, looking down at his watch, which, thankfully, had a small compass built into it. He turned north deciding it would be as good an option, and began walking, hoping he would find salvation, or at least, a source of warmth before he froze to death. Even if he didn't, he didn't want hypothermia.


William awoke in a strange, all white abyss.  His head had no sooner hit the pillow than had he fallen asleep. "Yep, back in a dreamscape." He thought back to what he had said to his friend just before he had left for home, questions flooded his head. Was his friend really capable of that? Would he actually awake a pony? Would he still be able to manifest firearms at will? His train of thought was interrupted when  a jolt went through his body. it wasn't painful, more or less like a static shock, it was more surprising than painful. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck jump from it, but then realized that they weren't hair's at all. He twisted his neck around as far as it would and pulled back his BDU, there, a mane was forming, from there, fur began to sprout all over his body, alongside a tail, wing's, larger eyes, hooves, ect... He was screaming in confusion the whole time, "This is itchy, why did I agree to this!?" He sat down on the ground, or at least, the approximation of 'ground' in his dreamscape. He waited for what seemed like an eternity, while he wasn't feeling much physical pain, his brain felt as though it was on fire from the stress. No matter how many times he had gone through this before in dreams, it was always instantaneous. He clasped his eyes shut. It felt for a moment as though he was falling.

"Ahhh!!!" He shot up in his bed, panting and sweating, the room around him was dark. He could make out the vague shapes of the various parts of his room. Everything seemed normal, with the exception of one thing. His body felt...different. And he couldn't feel his finger's, or his toes. suddenly, as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, he looked down at his hand's, which were covered by the blanket. He pulled them out, and rather than hand's, he found a pair of tan brown hooves. The look on his face changed to realization, and he felt something odd about his ears, they where drooping down. Experimentally, he clopped his new hooves together. They felt real enough.

"I can't believe this is actually happening." He said in amazement, eagerly, he turned to his bedside to reach for the switch on his lamp. Just barely managing to work it with hooves. With the room now lit. He looked down at the rest of his body. The first major thing about it that he noticed; His neck was far, far longer than it had been before, he twisted it around to look at his back, sitting there, where a pair of dormant wings. "Heh, I can't wait to try walking on a cloud! Or, I guess it's trotting now?"  He examined himself further, finding no cutie mark whatsoever, on either side. He gave his leg's, or...blacklegs a kick, sure enough, they worked just fine. "Huh, glad to see my motor functions are still in order, let's give the wing's a try." Just as he had in his dreams, he willed them to flap, and, just as easily as his leg's moved, they flapped once. William smiled, and laid his head back onto his pillow, he hadn't been this happy since his birthday several months prior. Suddenly, the window shutters burst open, flooding the room with light from outside. Joey flew through the gap, landing on the floor in front of his bed. "Hey! William, how you doing!?" He exclaimed, "What do you think of your new body?" The pony lying on the bed slowly pulled his head out from under the blanket, his ears perked up first. Slowly, William, raised his head and neck up, keeping the rest of his body hidden. "Uh, hi Joey...Uh...This is awkward." He managed out a nervous grin.

"Eh, is it the fur? That part kind of bugged me for a while, but once I started having fun, it went away. You look great." William rolled his eyes at the attempted complement, "Yes, uh, would you mind waiting here for a moment?" William ducked back under the sheet's, Joey heard a muffled scream, followed by a dim flash of light. A moment later, a hoof reached out from underneath, pulling the blanket off, revealing William, or at least, it sounded like William. He was clad in what appeared to be a modified pony  version of his usual white multicam winter uniform, with holes for his tail and wings. He rolled off the bed, landing on all fours on the first try, "Much better, so, what do you think?" Joey paused for a moment, and burst out laughing, "HAH! It's just it's hilarious to hear your gruff voice coming out of something so adorable! "William raised an eyebrow, "The hell did you just call me? Adorable?" Joey's laughing stopped, "Go look at yourself in a mirror!" William groaned, and slowly put his left hoof forward first. Feeling it stable, he stepped forward with his back leg, repeating the pattern from his dreams. It was slow going, but he made it to the door without falling a single time. Joey was perplexed by this, "It's your first time, how are you doing so well?" William didn't answer him, he pulled down on the door latch with his hoof, swinging it open on the first try. "I still can't believe this is all happening, me, as a pony. What's wrong with my life?" He asked himself as he stepped out into the hallway. He turned towards the bathroom, opened the door, entered, and turned to look at himself in the mirror.

"Holy ####" He whispered to himself as Joey stood in the hallway, "What is it?" There was a moment of uneasy silence, "You were right, I'm..." Joey could hear William gag, "Adorable." He managed out. It was almost disturbing, the ears, the big eyes. He supposed that since he had asked for it, he would have to get used to it for the time being, at least until he asked Joey to turn him back. He stayed for a few moments  more, turning to his side, and flapping his wings once more. "Breakfast?" He heard his friend ask, "Just a little bit more, I want to enjoy this." He took one more good look at his new body, then turned, and made for the exit. Trotting right past Joey, not even stopping at the stairs. Joey thought this was odd, when he had first came across stairs, it had taken him almost a half hour to learn how to descend and ascend them. William was taking them on as if he had been a pony his whole life. Shrugging it off for now, he followed his friend into the kitchen, who was currently fumbling around with the coffee maker.

"You know, pony hooves are actually quite dexterous, not as much as hands though. Nor are they enough to make coffee." Joey stepped forward and lit his horn, "Hang on, lemme help with that." The coffee bag lifted out of William's grasp, a dark blue aura surrounding it. It was then when he remembered the small, root-like horn concealed by his dark brown mane. As soon he thought about it, he suddenly felt a small pull on his head, as though the horn was a magnet, and the coffee was  a piece of metal, the aura around the bag turned a emerald green, and slowly but surely, he poured it into the coffee maker, and a few seconds later, it was going. Joey was wide eyed in amazement, "No way, you already figured out how to use your horn, also, you have a horn?" William brushed his mane aside, revealing it, "Yep, it's small, but it's there. The reason it looks weird is because it's not a unicorn horn. It's a Kirin horn. Don't bother asking about that." His friend gave a small nod of understanding. The 2 of them awkwardly stood around in the kitchen while the coffee maker did it's thing, nether one of them made a sound. Eventually it finished. William poured some into his mug, as well as a some for Joey. He opened up the fridge and pulled out some milk, pouring a bit into his drink, Before walking it to the back door to cool it down in the snow.

"Like yours cold, or warm?" Joey thought about it for a moment, "I'll have it warm." He waited a bit longer for it to cool down, bringing it back inside, the 2 ponies hopped onto the couch, and sipped their drinks. As they did, Joey brought up an important question, "How do we explain this to the six?" William raised his head away from the mug, "Just tell them I asked for this, and you'll change me back after a while. Other than that, I don't give a single feather about what she thinks about all of...this." The 2 of them laughed. "Question, you figured out walking and magic on your own, how 'bout flight?" William would have given a thumbs up, but due to his hooves, wasn't able to, so he just smiled instead. He downed the rest of the mug's content's, licked his lips, and set it down on the table.

"Let's go out." He stood up, and began walking towards the door. Joey set his drink down as well, and followed. William stopped at the door. "I'm missing something." He pondered for a moment, then a second later, a holster appeared on his side, in it lay his M45A1 sidearm, experimentally, he tried drawing it and aiming it with his magic, he was a bit wobbly, but for now, it was better than no gun at all. On his other side, he slid a K-bar knife. And pulled a ski mask alongside googles down over his face and muzzle. On top of it all went a lightweight ballistic helmet. At first he was worried his horn might've gotten in the way, but no. It fit perfectly. He didn't see the need for a large jacket, or combat boots, given the fur under his regular waterproof fatigues, and his hooves. Last of all, he slung on a fully loaded ballistic vest modified to fit around his wings. At last he was ready.


"Dude, we're just going for a walk around town, not war." William chuckled at this, this is what he had worn every day here, and just because it wasn't the societal norm for ponies to walk around in military fatigues and armor. That didn't mean he intended to throw it to the wind. He swung the door open with his magic, and the 2 stepped out into snow. "I say the edge of town."

If ponies noticed him, they sure didn't show it. Most didn't bat him an eye, although those that did where often curious enough to approach him, "Are you new in town? Or, did the royal guard send you?" They'd ask, William waved them away every time. Eventually, they made it to the edge of town, and , an open, snow-covered field where he could give flying a try. Just as they got there, Joey's ears perked up in the direction of the Everfree.

"What is it?" William asked, "Footsteps, human footstep's." This made his blood run cold. he had been a pony for all of 3 hours, and he was already having to deal with the same everyday nonsense? William growled in anger, "Let's go." The 2 of them galloped off towards the distant footsteps. Without any hesitation, they rushed into the forest. William tripped and fell into he snow several times on the way, moving through the snow with hooves was nearly impossible. They where about a hundred yards into the forest when they found who they were looking for. It was a human alright, wearing a uniform and insignia that the both of them unfortunately recognized.

"Uh, Joey, he's a member of the Yuba county sheriff's department, deputy by the looks of it. And his gun is drawn." Joey rolled his eyes, "So, what do we do about it?" From their hiding spot in the bushes, they watched as the officer stumbled through a thicket of bushes. They could bother tell he was shivering from the cold. "Well...we could go out and try talking to him-" William stopped him before he could say anything more, "We're pastel colored magic talking horses, how do you think he'll react, he got his gun drawn, something probably's got him spooked." Joey stepped forward, rustling the bushes a little hard, getting the attention of the officer, who waved his gun in their direction. "Alright, how about this-you distract him from the front, I'll grab him behind, we get him to go with us, haul him back to Ponyville, discreetly. We get him warmed up, convince him to not tell earth about Equestria, and send him on his merry way. All in time for us to go cloud hopping, sound good?" Before Joey could respond, William was already off, sneaking his way through the bushes. Regrettably, he sighed, and stepped through the foliage, out towards the officer. Who heard the bushes rustling, and turned to face the direction in which it had came. Just in time to see Joey walk out the other side. 


"W-What the hell are you?" He asked in disbelief. Joey groaned, "I can't believe I'm about to do this," He dropped is ears, lowered his neck to half height, gave his best pair of puppy dog eyes, and whined. Immediately, he could tell it worked. The officer lowered his gun, "Heh, let me guess, you're lost just like me?" He slowly raised his head, and gave it a small nod. "You can understand me? "Joey continued with the façade, not giving a response, instead, he whined a second time.


"Oh who am I kidding, of course you can, you can probably speak English as well, you're a pony, aren't you?" Joey was taken back by this, he had hardly expected him to say that. But rather than speaking, he just nodded again. "Huh, what are you supposed to be, some kind of weird unicorn-bird thing?" 

"Actually, I'm an alicorn. Nice to meet you!" He called out in a cheerful tone, this threw the deputy off guard just long enough for William to jab  him in the neck with a stun gun, he fell to the ground. And William gave Joey a wink.

"Can you help me get him back to Ponyville?" Joey rolled his eyes.

"On the count of three, we both grab him with our magic." William cringed for a moment at this.  He was still getting used to the fact that it was, at least for the time being, his magic.
> Operator? Are you there?: Part 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three...Two...One...let's go!" The 2 of them lit their horns, Lifting officer Preston's body 3 feet above the ground. William's gaze wandered  to the Glock 17 lying on the snow beside him. He slid the officer's gun into a holster around his neck. Figuring he would want it back later. Now, all ready, the 2 of them set off back towards Ponyville."Hey Joey, I would rather not explain...This to Twilight, let's take the long way home." His friend nodded, and they continued on their way." William, quick question, how does that stun gun of yours knock people out for?" Williams eyes widened at the sudden realization that he might have gone just a tad bit under kill,' Roughly 2 to 3 minutes, let me guess, he's waking up-yep, he's waking up." They stopped for a moment to check up on him, "Uh, Joey, he's got frostbite. We'd best pick up the pace," The officer groaned as they talked. "Uh, Joey, He's waking up, let's go." Urgently, the 2 galloped off, thankfully not coming across any town residents as they did. At last, they made it to their street, "Let's bring him to your house, I'd rather not let him see the stuff that I've got lying around in there." Joey franticly nodded. They set the deputy down on the front porch just long enough for Joey to open the door, they brought him inside, and set him down on his couch.

"Hey, grab him some hot chocolate. He'll probably want something warm once he comes to." Ordered William, throwing a blanket over him. Part of him still worried, in spite of all his usual bravado, he always felt uneasy and nervous around law enforcement. Human law enforcement, that was. The 2 ponies watched as the officer let out another groan, and coughed. "Uh, where am I?" He asked, trying to sit up. As he did, his name tag caught William's eye.

"P. Marmoza," William nervously tapped his hoof on the hardwood floor, this officer, as it seemed, was one of his airsoft buddies back in highschool, and back then, he also wasn't quite fond  of bronies, furries, My Little Pony, or talking animals in general. William hoped that the fact that he was now part of the Yuba county sheriff's department meant that he wouldn't 'Overreact' when he discovered what had happened to William. He watched patiently as the deputy rubbed his eyes, and looked right at William, for a moment, he seemed bewildered. His bewilderment changed to a mixture of anger and confusion, "Where the hell am I?" He repeated, William stayed quiet, he watched as the officer's gaze shifted  to the Glock that William had tucked in by his neck, "Hey, that's my gun!" He tried to stand up, but instead slumped back down."T-this isn't real-" He stopped, and turned to look over at the kitchen, where Joey was busy making a glass of hot chocolate, he gave Preston a wave, and continued. He scanned the room, his eyes always going back to the 2 equines there with him. The 3 of them where silent for a while, until Joey came back with the hot chocolate, "Here you go." He said, the officer screamed, and passed out again.

"I think he took to us rather well, what say you?" Joey chuckled, "And by the way, I saw his name tag a while ago, uh...I  know him from highschool, airsoft, to be specific. And he doesn't exactly like talking animals, I'd prepare myself for quite a bit of profanity if I were you." Joey bit his lip, and William looked back over at Preston. He raised his hoof, and tapped him on the head. "Preston, wake up." He whispered softly, the officer's arm twitched and recoiled back for a moment, then he opened his eyes, and yawned. The first thing he saw upon waking where the faces of Joey and William. "Oh, so it wasn't all a bad dream after all. What do you want with me?" He asked this as if he was a prisoner of war. "We couldn't just let you freeze to death out there in the forest, you we brought you here." William answered. For now, he avoided the fact that he had knocked him out with a stun gun.

"Wait, that voice, I recognize it, William?" He swallowed hard, his ears twitched, "Uh, there isn't any easy way to say this, but yes, Preston. It's me, William. Your old airsoft partner." The deputy was silent for a moment, "Y-you're one of them!?" He asked in disbelief. William furrowed his brow, "what do you mean?" Preston continued scowling at him, "I don't believe it. What was all that talk about hating bronies, eh? Was it all a ruse?" William's ears flattened against his head he let out an angry sniffle, "What? Listen, this is a long, long story, just please, hear me out. And don't try to kill me while doing so." He watched as the deputy's right arm reached for his belt underneath the blanket, William stepped forward, and put his left hoof up. "Hey, don't try anything-"

"Get away from me, furfag!"Joey and William looked at each other, and laughed. "I'm sorry, what did you just call me?" The crazed look in Preston Marmoza's eyes said it all, "Get away from me you...Four legged freak of nature!" William sat down on the floor in front of him. "Stop. Now. I don't know what you think happened, but it's still me, same edgy psychopathy, just different body-" William watched as Preston drew a pocket knife from his belt. "Leave me the hell alone, you're not William, he'd never let...This happen to him." He flipped it's blade outwards, waving it at the 2 of them, "Preston, put the knife away, you're embarrassing your whole department. Now, calm down, and have some hot coco." He passed the cup across the coffee table. 

"Clop in hell!" Preston shouted, scrambling backwards. William's demeanor changed, former friend or not, he wasn't about to get yelled at for something like this, "Watch you mouth, I'm armed too, you know. Now sit back, have something to drink, we're not going to hurt you. And no, it isn't poisoned." The 3 where still for a moment, then Preston finally responded, "Fine, can I go afterwards?" Joey rolled his eyes, "You aren't going anywhere, least not until that frostbite heals, and, you get a better attitude. "William shook his head, since when was he the better behaved one in...Any conversation? The 2 of them pulled up a pair of chairs, sitting down by the couch. Preston slowly took the drink in his hand, eying it with suspicion. Finally, he took a sip of it. "First question, how long have you been a pony?"

"Uh, since about 4 hours ago? Yeah, I know this going to sound odd, but they didn't force me to turn. I asked Joey here to." Preston facepalmed as though he as talking with a group of kindergarteners, "Why though? Why would you give up your humanity," William ruffled his wings, "I didn't give up anything, except my fingers and toes, and I did it because I wanted a pair of these." He opened them up fully. Preston shrugged, "Odd, but, ok, what's with him?" He pointed at Joey. "I'm his friend, unlike him, I've been a pony for...about a year now."


"Is this like...a permanent thing, or is it temporary?" William shrugged, "Temporary." Preston nodded, the 2 ponies could clearly see that he was slowly, but surely, beginning to calm down. He turned to Joey "Alright another thing, why aren't you wearing anything-"

"Yeah, he's not answering that. I'm not either, Although, don't expect me to go playing horsey." He awkwardly smiled, he always hated it when other's brought that up. "Well, fair enough, I mean, as much as I hate it to admit, you are kinda sorta covered in fur, so I...guess it's ok? Ugh, you know what? Never mind, next question, why  does it look like you're going off to war?"

"You know, every single creature that I come across in this place asks me the same thing, my response? Why not? Oh, and by the way here's to showing you that magic isn't just for little girls." He lit his horn, and an M4 appeared, hovering in mid air.
"Uh, how did you do that?" The rifle disappeared, "That's a long, long story, but I will tell you this, that was most certainly not the magic of friendship?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say!?You know what? I was right, I may not be able to save you 2, but I can still save myself." William lit his horn, and pulled the helmet and ski mask off, revealing his clearly equine face. immediately, Preston turned away, "Hey, look at me. Look at me damnit!!!" The deputy looked back at him, what he saw was most definitely not his old friend, sure, it had his voice, and appeared to have his love for weapons as well, but still, something about it was just...wrong." He set the empty glass down on the table, "Fine, I'm clearly in no condition to  be up walking around, so I suppose I can stay, but as soon as I'm feeling able, I want to be sent home!"

"That's fine by me, last thing I want is another human to put up with. Anyway, since you're clearly so accepting. We have something else to show you." William walked to the back door of Joey's house, and unlatched it, "You coming?" Preston raised his hand, "Yeah, sure, just give me a bit to-" As he stood up, a bolt of pain shot through his leg, and he dropped to his knees, Joey caught him by the wing, "You might want to keep that blanket wrapped around you, it's cold out." The officer reluctantly agreed, seeing as it was either he be helped by this 'pony', or he crawl his way to the door.


"Well, what is it?" He asked, unenthusiastically. William swung the door aside, letting the cold, frosty air in. The 3 of them stepped outside, and instantly, Preston's anger was replaced by wonder. He was in a valley, surrounded by distant rolling hills and mountains. He looked up, high above him, he could see more ponies, these ones with wings, just like the 2 standing behind him. Flying around, he could hear more chatter and hoof steps out in front of the house, he took a few steps forward, and peeked around the corner, he nearly fainted again. Even more ponies lay on the other side, all seemingly going about there day. He looked north, in the distance, he could see a lone mountain that pierced the clouds, on it's edge, was what appeared to be a missive castle. The whole scene was both laughable, perplexing, and amazing.



"Well, I can see why you like this place, it's amazing." He commended it, being an avid D&D player, he loved fantastically landscapes, and this was unlike anything else he had ever seen. "Ready to head back inside?" William asked from behind.
"Sure." The three went back inside. "Well, uh... Preston, this is awkward, but we have to go. If we leave you here alone, will you behave yourself?" He thought about it for a moment, "Yes. Where are you going?" William raised one of his wings up, "I'm going to give these a try. Food's in the fridge, help yourself, although I would advise you take it easy. 'Least for now." Without another word, the 2 of them left, leaving Preston alone, with nothing to do except sit around and wait. Seeing as he knew nothing of this world. And that William still had his gun. Something he swore he would get him back for.
> Operator? Are you there?: Part 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William and Joey walked down the street away from his house, while William appeared to be in a good mood, Joey wasn't quite as sure. "What was that back there?" He asked the armored pony by his side, William just slipped the ski mask and googles back over his face and responded, "He isn't exactly to fond of ponies, I'm not saying anything more." Joey rolled his eyes, "Yeah, sure, was laving him home alone a good idea?" William stopped in place and put his hoof to his head, "Good question, I haven't the slightest. You have to remember, he's technically a Yuba county deputy now, he's not going to go and trash the home of some random alien just for the heck of it. Plus," William drew Preston's Glock 17, examining it before shoving it back into the holster. "I've got his sidearm, effectively robbing him of his ability to harm me in any real capacity. "Joey said nothing, William's ego was at it's highest right now, and he knew that proposing anything else would likely lead to him getting a hoof to the muzzle.

"Alrighty, this looks like a good place!" William exclaimed, stopping at the edge of a snowed in meadow. He took a few steps forward, and extended his wings, Joey spoke up, "Alright, flying 101, try-" His jaw  practically hit the ground when he saw William lift off, and do a single loop around the field, coming to a stop where he had began.

"How did you do that?" Joey demanded, he had thought that his friend hadn't had any previous experience, "Same way I picked up walking and magic so easily, practice."

"But, this is your first time as a pony, how the hay did you-" Joey stopped himself, and flew up to William's height, changing the subject, "So, how do you like it?" William pulled the face covering off, as well as his helmet. "Yes." He replied simply, Joey chuckled, his friend's wide, uncontrolable grin said it all. He enjoyed it. "So, cloud hopping?" William nodded, and sped off towards the nearest patch of clouds. Only to find them being moved away by a group of weather ponies.

"Hey, idiots! Gimmie back my clouds!" He shouted. The entire group of pegasi turned to see a very angry pegasi staring them down, with an alicorn in close pursuit. A few of them recognized his voice, "Wait a moment, weren't you the one threatening to blow us out of the sky?" They asked with suspicion, William gave them a nod, "Yeah, I took a little break from being a human, so I could give flying a try. Now, give me the cloud." The group of pegasi looked at each other, and nodded, "Alright, here you go." He blinked, "Thank you, now scram, before I turn this into the battle of Britain!" The group looked at him, confused. They hadn't the slightest as to what he was talking about. But they all figured it would be best to not press the matter further. If this was really the same creature as the one who had repeatedly, and violently disposed of monsters countless times before on behalf of himself and the town. They didn't want to go picking a fight with him. Pony body or otherwise. They flew away, leaving,William, Joey, and a cloud.

"Here goes nothing." He murmured. Cautiously, he descended towards the cloud, planting all fours onto it. Sure enough, it felt stable, like a giant marshmallow. Experimentally, he gave it a kick, breaking off as small piece, which he caught in his left hoof.

"Damn, I'm holding a cloud. This is ####ing amazing." Joey flew down after him, landing a few feet away, "So, what do you think? "William froze for a moment, paced back and forth for a few seconds, then lit his Kirin horn, a hard knuckle combat glove appeared within it's emerald green glow, it's thumb extended upwards. William didn't say anything, instead, he just laughed, and fell backwards. Reclining back on the cloud. Joey followed suit.

"Hey, what do you think our resident deputy is doing?" Joey asked, "Well, he's probably miserable. I mean, you got to think about it from his perspective, one minute, you're minding your own business on earth, the next, you're dropped into a forest in a fantasy world. Then you're captured by  magic colorful talking horses, one of whom claims to have been your friend at one point, and you naturally hate things of that nature, how would you react?" Joey shrugged, "I dunno. Probably the same thing, but then again, isn't that what happened to me? "William raised his right eyebrow, "Yeah, except I didn't knock you out, it was your own incompetence. If you had just listened to me, we wouldn't have ended up in the hospital." They both laughed again, at this point, they had both been though so much that they were used to it. At least, William was. And he often times still scared the #### out of Joey. Suddenly, a rainbow colored streak shot past them, went on a good 200 yards, then stopped, turned on a dime, and flew back to the 2.

"Rainbow Dash." The both responded. The mare stopped, and dropped onto the cloud," Hi Joey, who's this?" he chuckled nervously, "Uh, Rainbow, I'd like you to met pony William." She stopped, looked at Joey as though he was crazy, then turned back to William, "Is he telling the truth?" Slowly, William raised his head up and winced, "Yep it's me." He couldn't tell if she was mad, or happy, or both, "Uh, ok then. What do you think of flying?"


"Oh, I like it." He responded simply." Now if you 2 don't mind, I'm gonna take a nap...On a cloud. Go away." He left it at that, curling up into a ball, the 2 eyed him with confusion, "Uh, is he ok?" Rainbow asked skeptically, "No, he has never been 'ok', The 2 of them flew off, leaving the angry 21 year old pegasus-Kirin hybrid sound asleep on a cloud. Dreaming of his favorite thing, firearms. Lot's of firearms.

Meanwhile...

"agh! Damnit, I can't believe those monsters left me here, alone, with frostbite!" Preston swore under his breath, he was very clearly in pain, as any person in this situation would be, stranded in another dimension, surrounded by nonsense and  so called 'magic', and not a human in sight, except for that one pony which claimed to know him, his still had his doubts about that." He tried to get off the bed, in an effort to get himself some water. But just fell in a heap instead. "I hate my life." He murmured to himself, "Those pieces of #### didn't even have the decency to give him a glass of water before they left. He groaned again in pain as he lay helpless on the floor. "You know what? I'm a deputy of the Yuba country sheriff's department, not some drunken pushover. Up I go!" He grabbed the edge of the coffee table, and began to pull himself to his feet. Just then, he heard a knock at the door. He could hear wings flapping outside.

"Hey, Joey!" He heard a clearly female voice call, "I've got your mail, and some muffins as well! Joey? You there?" He hard another knock at the door, "What am I supposed to do? I can barely walk." He pondered his options for a moment, then responded with, "You can leave the stuff on the doorstep!" Heard  fumbling, and finally, it seemed at last as though the creature at the front door was gone, a moment later, he heard the back door open, and turned to lay eyes on Joey, and Rainbow.


"Another human, really? "She asked with disappointment, "Please tell me you're not as bad as William?" He stopped, and thought about it for a moment, "What do you mean by bad?"

"Oh, I don't know, he's angry all the time, he's always walking around dressed in that armor of his. Acting like he's the ruler of the whole world." Preston gave a small grin, "Perhaps I was wrong about William." he decided to leave the rest of that conversation for later, "Who are you?" He asked Rainbow.

"Well, I'm Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty!" She exclaimed. The deputy facepalmed." What the #### do you mean by 'element'? Actually, please don't answer that. I really don't want to hear about your problems. Why are you here?" She scowled, "Your 'friend' here invited me in, I wanted to see if all humans looked the same." Preston laughed. "Well, fine then, here I am, you happy? Please get me off the floor, also, someone knocked on the door earlier said they had, 'mail and muffins' That for you?" Joey nodded, and motioned for Rainbow to wait by Preston's side. He opened the front door to find a basket of muffins,as well as a stack of mail. "Heh, looks like Derpy's at it again." He said with a chuckle, "Who's Derpy?" Preston asked."Joey turned back around, and troted back to the couch, sitting down. He dropped the mail and basket on the table,"Well, she's one of the more...Unique resident's of this town, you might actually like her." Preston shook his head.Joey grabbed 3 muffins, the first on with is hoof, which he tossed to Rainbow, and passed another to Preston, "Want one?"

"A muffin, really?" Joey bit into his, "Yes, you've gotta be hungry after all that wandering out in the Everfree. Right?" Cautiously, Preston edged his hand towards the muffin, snatching it out of the air, and biting into it, "Mmm, blueberry?" Joey nodded, "Hey, I'm usually not one for food made by horses, this is delicious!" Rainbow growled from behind them, "By the way, I should mention, the word horse is derogatory in their world." Preston rolled his eyes, and stuffed the rest of the muffin in his mouth, "Fine."


William stood on the edge of a cliff, rifle in hand, looking down on a valley. Countless demons, cryptids, monsters, and ancient abominations surrounded it. Causally, he fixed a bayonet to the front of his M4,"Come at me mother####er's!" He shouted, diving off the cliff. Suddenly, the scene around him changed, all the monsters disappeared. And his combat boot's hit the ground. Before him appeared the shimmering form of Princess Luna, "Greeting's my little pony." She said, William scowled, and bit back a curse, "Don't you ever call me that again, just because I have the body of a pony now doesn't mean you can treat me like I'm just another of your subjects." She backed off at that, "Whoa, easy there William, I'm just making joke. Or, is it Hailstorm now? I take you've been enjoying your time as one of us?" He nodded, "It's been great. I love flying under my own power. And here at least, Hailstorm is fine. All that, and Joey seems to be less pushy around me now. But..."

"I sense there has been something bothering you, what is it?" She asked, William scratched the back of his neck, and sat down on a nearby rock. "Well, you see, this morning, while out on a walk, Joey and I came across...Well, we came across another human, but not just any. His name is Preston, and he was one of my friends back on earth." She nodded, "I see, and?" William's form changed back to that of a pony,"Well, he isn't exactly fond of ponies. He's acting like I betrayed him, and humanity, just because of...This." William held up his hooves." He wasn't usually one to ask for advice, but this wasn't just anything.

"Well, Hailstorm, that's quite a bit to take in, I don't see any reason for you to be ashamed of yourself. You're still you, correct?" William nodded, holding up his M45A1 sidearm with his magic, "I've seen what you've been dreaming about, you're still terrifying, you're still intimidating , and goodness me, you still have the largest ego of any creature I have ever met. That brings me to my next point, why are you napping in the middle of the afternoon?" William laughed, "There are three times in one's life when you nap often, when you're young, when you're frail and old, and when you're a teenager, old habit's die hard I guess, now, go, you interrupted my slaughter fest!" She chuckled, "I worry for you some time, but I've known you long enough to know that you have everything under control, and, as my sister says, there is no wrong way to fantasize. She said that before she met you." She laughed again, "Farewell." The 2 of them hugged, and just like that. She was gone, the scene around him was replaced by an army of demons. He felt a sickly hand grab him. He turned to see the enormous white, tree-like monster  he had executed with a javelin anti tank round. 

"Hello there." William responded in a monotone voice." He grabbed one of it's fingers, and snapped it off like a candy bar." This is where the fun begins, for me, not you." He let out a bloodcurdling laugh, and charged into the swarm.


"Ahh, I feel much, much better now." William said, awakening from his short nap, he looked around to find himself still laying on the cloud from earlier. The sky was beginning to darken. He yawned, and uncurled himself. dusting the pieces of cloud off his fatigues. "Well, now I'm hungry, I go home!" He yelled into the evening sky. Extending his wings. He took off towards town. Eventually, his street came into view, then his house. He hovered at the second floor as he pulled open his window. Flying in, he grabbed his laptop. And from there, flew to Joey's house. Kicking the front door open.

"Hey, William, how was your nap?" He growled, and pulled up a chair to the couch, on the table in front of them all. He opened up the laptop. Much to Preston's confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Proving to you that I am, in fact, the same human. I'm thinking AC/DC?" Preston was silent for a moment, he scratched his chin, then nodded, "Yep, you're defiantly the same William. Sorry for the harsh words earlier. "William levitated up a hard knuckle glove, once again extending it's thumb. "Back in Black?"

"What are you guy's talking about?" Rainbow asked. All three of them laughed, "I think you'll like this, Rainbow." Joey said.
> Operator? Are you there?: Part 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what's your stance now?" William asked eagerly as the final notes of the song played out. Preston just nodded. "Good enough for me, glad to have you back." William chuckled, and  hopped down from the chair, "I was never gone in the first place, just ask the other's in this town." With that, he grabbed his laptop, slammed it shut, and headed out the door.

"That was awesome!" Rainbow called out, breaking the awkward silence, "I knew William's taste in music was...Odd, but that was amazing!" Joey shrugged, "Glad you like it, but don't go pestering him for more." She smiled, and left out the back door, Joey turned to Preston, "So, is the couch going to be good enough? Or would you like the guest bedroom?" Preston thought about it for a moment, "Uh, I think I'll just stay here, if that's ok."


"Good enough for me, goodnight. "He jumped up, and glided down the hallway to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him shut, a moment later, all light's in the house went dark. Preston rubbed his eyes, and slumped back onto the couch, pulling the blanket up, "This has been the strangest day of my life, oddly enough, I can't wait for the next." He said to himself.


William rushed home, dropped his laptop off in his bedroom, then headed back out. His nap earlier meant that he was still filled with energy. He sat down on his couch, and began brainstorming ideas to try and pass the time, almost immediately, one came to him, regarding his namesake, "Luna called me Hailstorm in my dream, and given that pony names reflect their traits and talents in life..." He got up, and rushed out the door, taking flight as soon as he crossed the threshold between between his house and the outside world. He made for the nearest bank of clouds he could find, and set himself down on it, gently.

"Alright, now that I'm here, let's give a go, if normal pegasi can create thunder and lightning when jumping up in down on clouds, then..." He raised his left hoof up, tapping the cloud one. Then, with all his might, he jumped. At first, there was just a clap of thunder, and for a second he wondered if he had been mistaken, then, there was a gust of wind that chilled him even through his fatigues and fur. Then, a flurry of hail ball's dropped out of the cloud, picking up speed as they rushed toward the ground. "Huh," Was all he could think in the moment, he just stood there, admiring himself as the ice balls crashed into the ground several hundred feet below.

"I'm in the mood for a night flight." He said out loud, there was no response, and the frigid wind. And so, with nothing to stop him, he extended his winds, and dropped right out of the cloud, catching himself halfway down, and shooting back up. "I spend my day's  fighting, I've earned myself a break." He turned, and looked off at the distant Everfree forest, dark and eerie as ever. He flew off in it's direction.  Eventually, he set himself down in the moss covered, cobblestone courtyard of the castle of the 2  sisters. "Ah, this place again, hmm, I've got to say, I don't really care that it's snowed in." He made for the nearest entrance, a pair of ancient gilded wood door's, faded by time. The threw them open, the moonlight cast long shadows into it's otherwise dark interior. William snapped a headlamp in place, but, upon remembering that his horn could also function as a flashlight, opted to use it instead.


"I'm quite literally using a part of my body to light my way-that sounded way weirder in my head than it does now." He murmured to himself. He shook his head and headed for the throne room.


"Ugh, W-where am I?" Preston asked, he had found himself in a wide open meadow. Oddly enough, his frost bite and cough where gone. "Hey, world, I asked you a question!"

"Greeting's, Preston. My name is Princess Luna-" He balled his hand into a fist, and reached for his holster, finding his Glock was there, "I'll ask again, where the #### am I!?" There was a pause, and a moment later, the alicorn of dreams appeared before him, "You're dreaming." He threw up his hands," Great, I have to deal with you abominations here as well!?" He furrowed his brow, "What do you want with me?"

"Well, you see, it is my job to protect everypony in their dreams, but, you are not clearly not a pony, so instead I decided I would just stop by and ask how you're faring." He growled, "How do you think? I'm stuck in fantasy land, surrounded by colorful horses!"

"Well that aside, how are you faring?" He paused, and scratched his head, "Pretty good, William seems to be acting like himself, his friend's are a bit...Odd, I've got frostbite. But other than that, they've all been nice." She nodded, "Well, you seem to be handling yourself ok, would you like me to stay?" He shook his head,"Ehh, whatever, stay, go, I don't care."

William entered the throne room,  gazing up at the wrecked ceiling. Then at the 2 thrones on the far side of the room, "Mine!" He called out. As he took a step forward, he heard growling, he looked behind himself, and came face to face with a Timberwolf. "Well hello there, are you having a good night?" He demanded, "No?" He drew his M45A1, trained it right in between it's eyes, and before it could pounce, put 2 rounds through it's wooden skull, it collapsed where it was, tree sap oozing from the bullet holes in it's head. Slowly, the green glow in it's eyes faded. satisfied with his work, he turned, and headed for the throne, he seated himself down on the center one, tearing the old Celestial banner from it as he did. "Hmmm, I like this." A wicked grin appeared on his face. "Undermining the royal sister's will never grow old." He launched himself off it, flying  backwards for a moment, before landing back on his hind legs. He had found that the combination of wing's, and a horn had made himself just as nimble as he had  been as a human. He jumped back into the air, shooting up through the ceiling out of one of it's many, many holes. Landing on it's crumbling roof, he perched himself on the very peak of it, gazing out over the Everfree,"Ah, beautiful, just beautiful, just wish I had myself a camera. He looked up at the moon. "Well, I got my wish, but now that I think about it...I do have a camera back home." Grinning, he took off again, making for home, flying low over the treeline as he drew closer to town.


"Hey, idiot's, open the door!" William's hoof banged on the front door of Joey's house, he could hear scrambling, but not hooves, it was feet. A moment, later, Preston opened the door and peeked out, "Yes? Oh, William, what are you doing here?

"Let me in. "He said gruffly, Preston obliged, and William trotted on in, tossing a white combat Jacket, pant's, combat boot's, gloves, and a hat on the table. "Get dressed, we're going for a walk." The deputy stopped for a moment, "Where?" William laughed, "I figured I should give you a tour of the town, is your frostbite gone yet?"

"Not entirely, but, it has improved since last night. Would you mind, I haven't eaten breakfast yet." William left, and began pacing back in forth outside. The repeated motion of moving his hooves back in forth didn't even bother him anymore, at first, he had found it annoying. But now, it was normal, well, as normal as being a magical horse in a world full of them could be. Finally, the door opened again. It was Preston, dressed in the gear that he had given him, his utility belt still visible, and his badge now pined to the outside of the jacket. Behind him followed Joey. "So, how was your night?" William frowned, motioning to his sidearm, Joey nodded, "What, were you chased by timber wolves or something?"

"Or something." The 3 of them set out into the snow. William down by his left side, and found Joey, trotting along beside him. He hadn't noticed before, but he was at least half a foot taller than his friend. Something he was glad about, one of his original concerns had been the change in height. While the transformation may have shaved about a foot off, he was still taller than his friend, and still towered above the equestrian natives. He froze when he caught sight of a mint green unicorn, who in turn, stopped and turned to look at him, "Why did you stop?" Preston asked. William turned and snarled at him, "That, is Lyra, she has an 'obsession' with humans." He looked back to see her already making her way over to them.

"Hi Joey! Uh, where's William? And who's the new human?" He groaned at this, "Uh, hello Lyra." She squealed in a way that made both William and Joey's ears recoil, Preston groaned, "What do you want lady?"

"Oh, sorry. It' just, you're the first human we've had here since William. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, welcome to Ponyville!" She stuck out her hoof, Preston rolled his eyes, and shook it," Deputy Preston Marmoza, Yuba county sheriff's department." He didn't add 'pleased to meet you'.

"Sheriff's department? Cool!" he grinned, a commendation was still a commendation, regardless of who it came from. "Well, thank you, now, please leave us be." She smiled, and trotted off, as soon as she was out of sight, Preston turned to William, "What the hell man?" He just shrugged, and motioned for him to follow. Over the next few hour's, he led him around the town, showing off it's various establishments. Avoiding some more so then others, so as to ensure his friend retained his sanity.

"Well, I don't quite have the word's for it William." He grimaced, "Disturbing, horrifying, disgusting?" Preston scratched the back of his neck, "Well-"

"Hey, it's perfectly fine, I thought the same thing when I first came here, and I still do. The only reason I'm ok with it now is because I'm used to it. I'm usually out of town 90 percent of the time anyway."  William looked on ahead to catch sight of a particular group of creatures he hadn't seen for a while. The young six. And they where headed their way.

"Preston, this is Gallus, Ocellus, Ember, Silverstream, Yona, and Sandbar." The group of creature's stopped, and looked up at Preston, then down at William, then up at Preston again. William held up his hoof and cleared his throat, "Oh, yes, I forgot. "Hey, down here, it's me, William! "They eyed him with confusion, "Uh, last time we met, weren't you walking on 2 legs?" Gallus finally asked.

"Well, yes. I made some...Changes for the holiday's, and no, I don't want your opinions either. This is Deputy Preston, he's a friend." Preston gave the group a small wave. "It's been a very strange past 2 day's for me."

"Uh, William, question, can they all speak English?" He nodded, "Unfortunately, yes. Pretty much everything sentient in this world can talk, or at least converse in one manner or another." Preston facepalmed and shook his head," You know what? I don't even care at this point. I've seen so much, I'm completely fine with it."

"So... You finally up for that race? I mean, you've got yourself  a pair of wings now-"

"No, and the answer will forever be, no." With that, William sent the group away, and turned to Preston, who was still processing what had just happened, "What was that supposed to be, a bipedal dragon?" He shrugged, "Yes, please don't question it, I found it as strange as you did when I first found out about it." William replied with a short laugh, "So, anything else you wanna see?"

"No. Please, get me out of this place, I've damn well had enough." William nodded, alright then. "What do you say to lunch?" He thought about it for a moment, "Yes, what kind of lunch?" He questioned as they turned and began walking back down the road. "The kind that makes you satisfied and keep's you from dying of starvation."


"I'm not sure weather I should take that as a threat, or as a compliment." William didn't respond.


Several day's later...


"Hey, William? William!" Preston called out, he was currently standing at the base of William's house, holding a box of decorations for him, "Remind me why I'm volunteering to help you with this?" William paused in the middle of hanging a string of lights, "You never volunteer for anything, I quite literally dragged you out of Joey's house, shoved that box in your hand, and said "Don't drop this." And you just went along, now, be a good human and don't complain! Plus, it's the day before hearth's warming, and Christmas." Preston groaned in anger and frustration, it had now been a whole week since he had ended up here. Oddly enough, it had actually grown on him. Albeit, some things where impossible to get around, William's ego, to name one.


"You know what, I'm freezing my ass off down here!" He set the box down on the ground, "I'm going home, I'm grabbing myself a mug of coffee, and I'm not doing anything for the rest of the day!" William grunted, and Preston stormed off, "5 days, and he  still hasn't given me my damn sidearm back!" He cursed to himself as he pulled open the front door. He opened it up to find Twilight and Joey there. "Hello Preston, don't worry, I'm here to help." She said it in a lighthearted tone. One which made him worry.

"And pray tell, what can you supposedly help me with?" He asked, "Well, according to Joey here, you haven't exactly liked your time here in Ponyville, you've said multiple times that you'd like to leave, so, I'm giving you a choice, you can go now, or you can stay." He didn't even need to think about it, "Are you kidding me? Get me the #### out of this place!" He stopped for a moment, his mind drifted back to  William, and that damned Glock 17 he had slung around his neck. "I can go now, like, right now?" She nodded. "Well then, let's get on with it, but first, there's something I need to do." He hurried back out the door.

"Hey, guess what, I'm going back to earth!" he called out. "William stopped in mid air, and looked down, "You serious?" Preston crossed his arms and nodded, "Do I look like I'm serious?" 


"You know I'm not going to answer that, deputy." He flew down to Preston's side, and, using his right hoof, pulled the Glock 17 from his neck sling, "Merry Christmas." He passed it to Preston, who took it, and looked at it as though he was holding the most valuable thing in the world, before sliding it back into his holster. "Thank you, and merry Christmas too." William chuckled, "Hey, before you leave, mind if I get a group photo?" Preston shrugged, "I don't see why not." Without another word, the pegasus/Kirin hybrid slammed the door behind him, and came out a few seconds later with a digital camera.

"Well, let's go!" The 2 off them walked back over to Joey's house, where Twilight was still waiting on them.

"Hey, do you think you could hold it off, just for a bit?" Preston asked Twilight, who nodded upon seeing the camera ,"Group photo?" Joey looked at the 2, and rushed to their side, "Yep." William responded. "Line up by the fireplace." They stood side by side, and Twilight took the camera from them, "Alright, everycreature smile!" They all did, even William.

"Lemme see." William shoved Twilight out of the way and took the camera with his magic, "Yep, this is perfect. One is enough." He turned to Preston, "Bye man, 'twas good having you around." Preston didn't respond to him, "Let's just get this over with." Twilight sighed, and lit her horn. A flash of light later, Preston Marmoza was gone. "I'll miss him." William rolled his eyes, "I honestly don't care anymore. It was...interesting to have another human around here. Even odder still was the fact that I wasn't one for this occasion. He turned, and made for the doorway, leaving Twilight and Joey alone in the dark room. Wondering what had just happened. To other's, it seemed as though William couldn't care less he himself knew better.

"Sure is beautiful, ain't it?" William asked Joey, the 2 friends sat on a cloud over looking Ponyville."It sure is, I noticed something, your gruffness, your incessant need for violence, it's all decreased as a pony. Why?" William laughed, then his expression turned deathly serious, "It hasn't, but, I do have to admit, I have enjoyed my time roaming the world as a four legged equine." He paused for a moment to scratch his eyebrow, "I've made my choice, today is my last day as a pony." Joey raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because, I'm getting sick of begin treated softly. I wouldn't say it's irritating, but I have , for now at least, definitely had enough of it. Though there are a few thing's I'll miss, standing on cloud's, flying, ect." His ears drooped down," You know, I can turn you back whenever you want. Just like the original transformation." William sighed, and nodded.

"Yeah, I know." The both of them looked up at the night sky.
> The Brief Crusade of Las Pegasus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, I'm back!" William exclaimed as he sat up in his bed, looking over his body, sure enough. He was human again. While not particularly eager to start the day, he anxiously awaited his daily mug of coffee. He pushed himself out of his bed, tripping on the sheets as he did and hitting the floor with a mixture of both pain and surprise, "Ah yes, just have to remember how to walk as a human, oh ####, what is my life?" He murmured to himself as he stood up, slid his sidearm into a thigh holster. Satisfied by the click as the weapon locked into place. As he did, he looked up at the wall just parallel to his bed, there, in a frame made from salvaged M1911 walnut  grip's. Was a photo. The only one in his otherwise bland bedroom. This wasn't just any  photo however, it was a photo of himself...The pony version of himself, perched on the highest tower of the castle of the 2 sisters, looking up at the full moon with hopeful eyes and a rifle in his hooves. Quite scenic, he thought to himself. It was a reminder to him that there where still thing's in equestria worth fighting for, namely, more fighting. The photo bought with it a small feeling of euphoria and joy as it came into his point of view for just a moment. All ready to begin the day, he swung the bedroom  door open and stepped out into the hallway.

He headed downstairs to his kitchen, grabbed a bag of pre ground coffee, and threw it in the machine along with some water. He stood motionless as it brewed, slowly tapping his foot as he did. Eventually, he heard a beep as the coffee finished, going to his cupboard. He snatched up his favorite mug, all black, emblazoned with the words "Leave me alone." On one side, on the other was the insignia of his favorite coffee company, BRC, or "Black Rifle Coffee." Just one of the few things he had grabbed up during his birthday. Seeing as the snow outside had  long since melted away, so he just shoved it into into his freezer instead. Having exhausted what little patience he had, he  had a better idea than just standing around in his kitchen while the coffee cooled down to his preferred temperature. He swung his back door open anyway. And, taking a Block 2 M4 rifle in his hands, took aim at the patch of trees on the far side of his yard. Changed firing modes from full to semi automatic, set the notches which he had previously carved into a nearby oak tree, and opened fire. As he slowly, but steadily emptied the 30 round magazine, his mind began to wander. He fell into what could only be described as a "Gun trance," the result of what other's considered, "To much time on the range," He didn't care. Subconsciously, his left hand dropped the empty magazine, at the same time, an fresh one appeared in his right hand, slamming the new one home, and triggering the bolt catch release all in one, fluid, practiced motion.

"Well, that was a nice warm up for the day." He dropped the M4 to his chest, feeling as the Nomex sling tightened. He headed back inside, and grabbed his coffee from the fridge. Sipping it first to ensure it was just right. He swigged the whole thing down his throat in one go, burping once upon finishing it. He set the mug down on his countertop.  Grabbed a single doughnut and apple from his fridge. And consumed the both of them, then he began the complicated, yet brief process of getting ready for the outside world.

Aggressively, he strapped on an unmarked ballistic vest. Then came his helmet, last came a warbelt. Which went on over his regular belt, loaded with all the things he would potentially need for his day, as well as a pair of beige combat boot's. Seeing that he already had on a pair of tactical gloves, he made for his front door, and threw it open. Stepping out onto his front porch. "Hello world, ya ready for hell?" He exclaimed, drawing a few worried looks from the equines around him. He ignored them, and headed down the street, unsure of how to spend his time. It wasn't long before he found what he was after.

"There you are, little monster, now just what are you up to?" William murmured himself, peaking around a corner, there, not 30 yards away, was Derpy Hooves, and Cozy Glow, Derpy was dragging a cart loaded with unmarked boxes. The sheer absurdity of it all put a wide smirk on his face. It had been over a month since he had last encountered that little pegasus. Something about that creature just made him suspicious, he had a gut feeling that it was up to something. But so far, his paranoia had led nowhere, still, he wasn't about to let up. Curiously, he followed her, all the way to Twilight's office in the school of friendship, crouching behind a support pillar, he watched as she  pushed the door open.

"Professor Sparkle? The mail pony just came with, uh-uh a few things." She opened the door fully, revealing the boxes to both Twilight, and Rarity. "Oh, the sewing machines I ordered for my class!" Clearly excited, she rushed to the boxes and began caressing's them, much to William's disgust. "Hey, idiot's, what the hell is going on here?!" He shouted, bringing himself out of hiding, and shimmying his way past the boxes and overexcited unicorn into Twilight's office. He found Cozy standing there beside him, who he quickly shot a look of, "Make one move and I will ####ing end you." She swallowed hard, and didn't respond. he turned and looked over at Twilight, who was sitting at her desk, tapped to the window's behind her where what appeared to be dozens upon dozens of cards.


"Uh, I'm sorry, no, just kidding, who sent you like... 50 cards?" He demanded, scratching his head. Twilight took a stack of papers  from out of Cozy Glow's hooves and began to read the first one, "These machines where costly-" William turned to Rarity," I don't give a ####, put those away!" She cowered for a moment, and levitated the cover back onto the crate. Much to William's satisfaction. He was overjoyed at the prospect that temporarily being one of them had not made him lose his ability to intimidate them. He turned to Twilight, and watched as the color in her face began to fade.

"Read this." She said, William grabbed it in his hand's and began to read. He squinted at the text, "Why waste your time at a friendship school that's just a school? Learn everything they e half, throwing on the ground at Twilight's hooves. He pulled a forest multicam ski mask down over his wicked smile, "Twilight, pack your thing's, we are leaving."

"For where?" The 3 of them asked, to their surprise, a broadsword appeared in his right hand,  in his left, he picked up the discarded scrap's of paper. "We're going on a ####ing crusade! Now, hmmm...Ah, this says it's in Las Pegasus!" He rushed to the doorway, shoving his way past the stack of boxes.  As he did, he took one final look back at Twilight, "William-" He held up his hand.

"No, just no. This bull#### cannot be allowed to exist any longer." He sprinted down the hallway, almost tripping on the carpet as he did. As William faded out of sight of the three, a call of, "SICUT VULT!!!" Echoed through the hallway's. Starlight Glimmer peaked out of her office door for a moment, "What was that?" She asked Twilight, who sighed and hung her head low.

"William's headed to Las Pegasus." Starlight scratched her head, "Why?" She paused for a moment. "Oh, well, good luck dealing with him, you'll need it." William had just exited the school grounds, and was now headed for the nearest hot air balloon he could find. Saliently cursing at the fact that he no longer had wings. "Oh well, the hand's make and the intimidation factor more than make up for it." He reminded himself.

One airship flight later...

"What the #### am I looking at?" William stood in the center of Las Pegasus, looking around at the vast expanse of building's, "It's like Vegas, but no desert. "He looked around, and soon caught sight of a light blue unicorn stallion, a map in it's magical grasp, he casually strolled over to it, trying to appear as friendly as one could while hefting a 4 foot long broadsword. "Hello sir-" The creature stopped and looked up from it's map, and looked up at the furious and towering form of William, oddly enough, he didn't run. "Well sir, it's right over there. If you don't mind me asking, what are you?" William let out a booming laugh." That's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know. Thanks' for the help!" He ruffled it's mane and rushed to the building which the unicorn had gestured to. Just as William predicted, it's exterior looked nothing like a university, and more like a casino. He gave the resting on his thigh a firm tug. Let out a single, measured breath, cracked one of the door's open, and tossed a single flashbang inside. Upon hearing the successful detonation he kicked the door's open the rest of the way and stormed inside. Glock 18 in one hand and sword in the other.



"Alrightly, I'm here, who want's to die?!" He screamed. As the smoke cleared he realized he might have just made the slightest mistake, before him lay about 200 ponies, all laying on the ground. Their hooves cupped over their ears, a few were crying. "Uh, sorry folk's, 'twas an accident!" His statement did nothing to lighten the mood of the room. He looked up at the stage, their stood a pair of unicorn's, both with the same red manes and yellow fur, most distinctly, they had mustache's. Angrily, William shoved them both to the ground, "Alright," He racked the machine pistol in his hand, "Start talking, who's in charge here?" Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a very familiar robed unicorn walking through the destroyed front door's. Their gazes met one another, "Leave, now. Disobey, and this time, a rifle stock shaped bruise on your muzzle will be the least of your worries." Franticly nodding, he turned and left without saying a single word. Angered, he turned back to the near identical unicorn stallion's cowering in fear on the ground before him.

"You, you, pack up your thing's, and never return, y'all are lucky I have a thing against killing ponies." He looked up at the groggy crowd before him, he stepped over the nearest podium, sheathing the sword, and leaving his hand free to tap the microphone a single time. "Uh, again, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry, and, free advice, if you want to learn about friendship, than ask for a refund, leave, and go try and make some. Ponies naturally have a herd mentality, it shouldn't be that hard." He took his hand off the mic, and left the room, watching as one by one, the ponies in the crowd left. Among them, was a particularly old looking one, a grey unicorn stallion, clad in blue wizard robe's, with a long beard.

"Greeting's sir, might I ask, who gave you the authority to shut this establishment down?" William laughed again. "Well, that's a very good question, I did. Plus, it was pretty obvious that those idiot's up on stage where scamming everpony, friendship is, at it's core, a brain generated emotion. And, just like any emotion, it is my belief that it should be free. Actually, it's not my belief, tell me, Starswirl, have you ever heard of something called, common sense?" He paused for a moment, then chuckled. "Well sir, you certainty are not wrong. Have a good day." William smiled under his mask, and gave the old wizard a thumb's up.

"Sicut Vult." He whispered to himself as he sat on the front steps, As I will it.
> My Other, Other, Very Obscure but still Existant, Hobby
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what today? "Joey asked, stepping closer to William, as the 2 pace back and forth in the school of friendship's courtyard. Twiddling his thumbs, he let's out a single, irritated grunt, "I slept like #### last night, I'm not in a mood to talk." Joey paused, his left ear twitched a bit. "OH really now? I thought you loved sleep." William sighed, and sat down on the ground.

"Listen here and listen well mister alicorn,  I had a bad, bad night, and-"He fell silent, and stood back up. Without another word, he pushed open the double door's in front of the school, walked in. Joey, curious as always about his friend's mental state, followed. "But why William? A few day's ago, you declared a crusade. This isn't you." William froze, and glared back at him.

"Listen, you're right. Perhaps I'll go out later to day and kill something." The alicorn walked up to him, smiled, and gave him a nuzzle, making him scowl in disgust. "Seriously? What the hell's wrong with you?" Pushing Joey away with a single gloved finger, William adjusted his war belt." Save that crap for never." William said, looking down at his watch." Hey, how 'bout we go and crash one of Twilight's seminar's, that always seems to brighten your mood." Joey suggested. William stopped to think for a second, then nodded, "Good idea." Joey just shook his head as William marched forward's at an even pace, not even stopping once to yell at the ponies passing him by with confused expressions. He noticed that for a moment, William's mood seemed to brighten, then Joey saw him reach for his gun, extracting it from it's holster. He ejected the magazine, then racked the slide back a single time, sending a .45 caliber shell flying out of the chamber, which William caught in mid air. Almost as fast, William loaded the bullet back into the magazine, which he then loaded into the gun, racking it's slide back, and chambering a fresh round at the same time. Just as always, he placed the M45A1 back into the holster, and continued on as though nothing was out of the ordinary. This behavior, combined with the fact that he had begun humming 'Big Iron' as he drew closer to the auditorium was proof enough to Joey that William's mood has most certainly brightened, as for why, he hadn't the slightest. So he decided not to press the issue.

"So, what is it now?" William asked angrily as he pushed his way into the large room, staring down at the 4 ponies standing there, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, and Twilight. Holding back his anger, he took the first open seat he could find. Obviously, his abrupt entry had drawn the curiosity of the 3 on stage, "What are you doing here?" Twilight asked with a patient tone in her voice. Sternly, William answered, "I quite literally have nothing better to do." Confidently, he folded his arm's. His firm gaze shifting from side to side as he eyed the creatures surrounding him, he looked back at the doorway, just in time to see a blue tail that clearly belonged to Joey disappear behind it." I have nothing to apologize for. I see you're actually wearing clothes today, so, what's the lesson? Common sense? Decency?" He watched as the gazed back at him with confusion. Finally, Twilight spoke up, "Actually, today, I thought I would teach the class about the importance of compromise and friendship. William laughed at this, and stood up, motioning for the class to look at him.

"Y'all wanna learn about compromise? Here's the only thing you need to know about that, don't be a greedy, condescending piece of ####!!!" This threw Twilight off guard, "Whoa William, easy with the language there-" He held up he left hand, "No, I will not go easy, it is against my most basic principal's."

"But, they're just kids, don't you think-"William snarled at Twilight, "No, the world will not go easy on them, neither will I."

"So, what would you propose instead?" She demanded, William snapped his fingers, "Anything but what you was about to teach 'em!" The crowd watched as the 2 argued back and forth. Finally, Smolder raised her claw, "Uh, I'm confused, what are we supposed to be learning here?" William shot a glare back at the crowd. "Yeah, I thought we where supposed to be learning about compromise?" William laughed.

"Keep arguing with me, and the only compromise today will be the integrity of your skull." The entire crowd winced. Just then, Starlight betted into the conversation, "Hold on here William. I'm sure we can work this out peacefully-" William clenched his fist. She took this as a sign that Twilight may have pushed him a tad bit to far, she nudged her friends shoulder. "Uh, class dismissed!" The assortment of creatures in the stands got up, and left without another word.

"What is wrong with you creatures?" William asked the 4 of them, "What do you mean, what's wrong with us?" You should be asking yourself that question." Twilight spat out. William fought to control his instincts. "Watch your ####in' mouth!" He could have just left it at that, but no. He was far to proud of his own morals to let them get off that easy. "Have fun with your buckball game." He turned, walked off the stage, up the isle, and out the door. He knew he wouldn't win this argument here and now. But he would, eventually.

William advanced further and further down a dark passageway. P90 draw, it's side picatinny rail mounted flashlight casting long shadows across the tunnel as he moved ever deeper into the cavern. The Quiet Kid had spent his day following Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. Waiting for the opportunity to jump out of the shadows and prove himself right. Stalking others was his specialty, it was one of those thing that just never grew old. It was one of the the few times that the 'Quiet' part of his nickname had actually proved useful. Besides, he loved spelunking, and caves in  general, he still had fond memories of Lava beds national monument from his time on earth. At last, he heard the voices of Rarity and Rainbow Dash up ahead. He rounded the corner, and took cover behind one of the rock walls. Peering out from behind, he could hardly believe his eyes. The walls where line with all manner of gemstones, all perfectly faceted. Some even appeared to be growing out of the rock as through they where plants.

"It's...Beautiful." The thought to himself, being an avid rockhound, he had always had a special place in his heart for things like this. He shifted his gaze away from the walls for a moment to get a good look at the 2 ponies, listening in on their conversation.

"Oh, I cannot wait! Collecting gemstones is my favorite! "William grinned at this, and stepped out into the open." Uh, yeah, hi, it's me again.Uh, ya know, I didn't think it was possible, but I think I just found something that we have in common. Other than...You know, breathing. Mind if I join?"

"Why, certainty not!" The both of them responded. They began walking forward again, but as William did, he heard voices coming from behind him. "See everycreature? That didn't take long." ruining his good mood." Hey, Twilight."

"Yes William? Are you having fun?"

"#### you." He replied, throwing a flashbang grenade down the tunnel. He had finally had enough. It was by no means a permanent solution. Just a little reminder for the princess to not cheese him off.
> Nordic Farce
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fluttershy and her pet rabbit, "Angel." Walked through the woods on a sunny morning, gathering flowers. It was quiet, at least, until she heard gunshots echo out across the forest. A swarm of birds darted off into the sky. Followed by screaming, and an unusual amount of profanity.

"Oh, no..." She thought to herself, she knew well enough that that was no pony. It was William, out on another 'Excursion. 'And, being the element of kindness, she thought it best to go and try to assist whatever poor creature he was attacking." Some poor creatures in trouble, we have to help it!" She galloped off through the bushes. But when she finally burst out the other side, it was nothing close to what she expected. There, in the clear stood William and Pinkie. William had a cattle prod in one hand, and a riot shield in the other. On the far side, was Pinkie Pie. Who seemed to be taking the situation in front of her more like a friendly game of tag rather than an encounter with the quiet kid. Fluttershy turned her head, and caught sight of the problem. On a log on the far side of the clear lay a set of bagpipes.

"Oh, hi Fluttershy. Would you mind telling your friend here to stop playing that nonsensical bull####?!" He ordered, shifting his gaze to her for only a moment. She grimaced at this, on one hoof, she didn't want to tell Pinkie no. On the other, she didn't want William tearing her apart. "Well, at least no animals are getting hurt, right?" William let out a curse just as Pinkie tackled him. What followed was one of his signature screeches of agony/pain/anger. She recoiled as the horrid sound made contact with her ear drums.

"Oh my, uh...Common you 2, we can work this out peacefully, right?" Her enthusiasm disappeared when pinkie took a jolt of electricity to the neck. She bounced away from him for a few seconds, then dropped to the ground, unconscious. "Uh, that was a little extreme, don't you think?" She asked him nervously. He didn't respond, rather, he jumped to his feet 
and aggressively hefted the shield in his hands, twirled the cattle prod. And braced himself for another attack. There was a moment of eerie silence. To everycretures surprise, Pinkie got up as through nothing had happened, and began bouncing around, her mane was standing up, and her eyes had a crazed look in them.

"Oh, hi there, may I take your order?! Alrighthaveagoodday!!!" She stumbled, gave a wave, the collapsed back on the ground and began snoring. William looked over at Fluttershy, and just shrugged. "DO whatever the hell you want with...This," He motioned to the Pink pony lying on the ground, "Not my problem anymore, I'm off to Ponyville."

"AH, DAMNIT, HOW HAS THAT HORSE NOT LEARNED HER LESSON?!?!?!" William shouted, coving his ears . He was currently standing on the very edge of Ponyville. And from some absurd reason, Pinkie Pie was still playing those infernal bagpipes of hers. It wasn't that he didn't like bagpipe music. Hell, the truth was actually quite the opposite, he loved it. Being that he was part Scottish, and part Irish. I was just that Pinkies rendition of it was borderline aneurysm inducing. Angered as though  someone had just shot him in the foot. He charged over to the place where she was playing them. A white gazebo, in front of her dear friends, of all ponies.

"Let me guess, you don't like it either?" A familiar white and blue alicorn  trotted up next to him, ears flattened against his head. "It's not the bagpipes, it's the pony playing the bagpipes."  Joey nodded in understanding. And William approached the gazebo. Watching as everypony that was not Pinkie was actively disgusted by the sound of them.

"What is that thing?" He heard Applejack ask in bewilderment. "It's called a yoviofil. It's from Yakyakistan, where it's actually quite popular. William burst out laughing, then turned dead serious," That better not be a play on Afghanistan. Back on my world, we just called 'em bagpipes."

"Wait, you actually like this?" The 5 of them asked, he chuckled, "Oh heck no, it's awful. Now, please kindly tell her to stop before I put a .50 to her head and pull the trigger." Oddly enough, none of them said anything on the topic of him threating one of their own. "I knew them yaks weren't right in the head, this confirms it. "Is it supposed to sound like that?" Rainbow blurted out, covering her own ears." Not exactly," Twilight replied, "It's known to produce a fairly complicated melodically rich and harmonious tone. William snorted, "Sure it is. Alright Pinkie, time to go!" With a grunt, he got up on stage and tried to tug it away from her. He looked up, just in time to have a featherless bird drop on his head.

"Y'all have a screw lose- You know that?" They all rolled their eyes," Yes William. You're pointed that out many times." This whole time, he had his eyes on Pinkie." Can you believe this?!" She exclaimed. AT last, William pulled it out of her hooves. And began running away with it/
.

"Where are ya going with that thing?" Applejack called out. "I'm putting an end to this damned thing. It shall torture my ear drums no more!" With that, he lobed it as far forward as he could, took aim at it with an M79 thumper, and fired. The blast caused all ponies in the area to panic and flee, and a scorched crater was left in the ground. To both his shock and disappointment, it was somehow still intact. He just stood there, jaw open and launcher dangling from his arm. "Are you- Wha- How?!"

"Yakyakistan products are made to last!" Pinkie replied, snatching it back up from the ground while William's head was turned. He sighed, and walked away, " I hate you." He looked back at the 5, who where stranding there, shell shocked.

"Hey, idiot's, wake up!" He ordered, shaking them out of their trance. " You got a lot of nerve pulling a stunt like that in a crowded park!" Rainbow growled, the rest of them looked equally displeased." I don't car, I truly, truly don't."

" William, you have to stop. You've been getting more and more aggressive lately, and well..." Twilight's voice trailed off, William smirked, he knew the reaction they where anticipating out of him, and he wasn't going to let them get it. "It's ok, you don't have to finish that sentence. I know you despise me." He added softly. The group looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean by that?" rarity asked him, "We've been nothing but kind." 

"I'm aware of that." He said in the same calm tone, this time, he toyed with the grip of his M45A1." William, this is getting weird," Joey butted in, "I saw the way you acted when you where a pony. How do you go from that... To taking a grenade launcher to a musical instrument in the middle of a crowded park? Are you bipolar?" William paused, he didn't really quite have a good answer for that question in the moment, he paced back in forth." No, I'm not. The doctors test me back on earth. I'm just weird."  Without another word. He walked away. Not caring how they felt. And nor did he respond to any of their pleadings.  He had one goal, the safety and solitude of his house. His bedroom in particular.
> Counter Espionage
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William trudged his way down the street towards his house. It had been a long day of avoiding Twilight and her friends, why? Simple, she didn't to take to kindly to his actions earlier in the day. And he had been worried they might actually try to come after him. And the last thing he wanted was to have to use lethal force on a pony. He supposed that all that was left to do at this point was to just lock himself in his house and wait it out. He had prepared for this, a nd he wasn't going down without a fight. As he made it to the front porch of his house, he was greeted by a crowd of ponies, unhappy ones at that.

"So, what are you here for?" They looked back at him silently. "Well?" At last, Twilight stepped forward. A grim expression on her face, " William, we've had enough. Go, leave town. We don't want you here anymore." He smiled, and nodded, "Understandable, have a good night." He watched as their gazes followed him all the way inside, only stopping when he shut and locked his front door, as soon as he did, he collapsed behind it, sliding all the way down, he put his hands on his head. And groaned.

"Why? Why? What did I ever do to them?" He sat there, motionless, until he arrived at a solution, "I'm not going quietly. The only way they're dragging me out of this place is if Celestia drops the sun on me!" He drew his sidearm. And slowly crawled to the window, peering through the curtains, he could see that the crowd had dispersed. AT the same time, the sun had begun going down.

"Well, this day went to ####." Without having eaten dinner yet, he dropped himself on the couch, and began to drift off to sleep. Hopping that Luna would have an explanation as to why the entire town suddenly decided to gang up on him.

"Heh, Luna, ya there? There's something I need I need to talk to you about." He looked around his dreamscape, it wasn't long before he found what he was looking for, the alicorn of dreams, sitting in the corner. "Oh, hi there William. So, what is it that you wanted to discuss with me?" He looked deep into her eyes, she was playing innocent, that was obvious. She was withholding something. And she could tell that he knew that. So, she simply sighed, and responded with, "My sister asked me to distract you." He chuckled, "Of course she did. Now, why." The alicorn hung her head low.

"She sent the royal guard after you." He furrowed his brow, " Those incompetent retards?"

She shook her head, "No, my personal escort. They're...Different, you'll see in a bit." With that, she disappeared, and at the same time, William shot out of his bed. P90 in hand. He could hear rustling up on the roof. Wing flaps, only, they didn't sound like pegasi wings.

" Bat ponies." 

He murmured under his breath, slipping off the couch into the ground, his fatigues where replaced by ballistic riot gear. A moment later, he heard the loud screech as the houses alarm system had been triggered. He heard yelps of pain as the bat-like creatures on the roof dropped to the ground, clawing at their bushy, sensitive ears in pain.

"The playing field has been leveled." He shot up from beside the couch, and scanned the room for any sign of nonhuman presence. It was empty, meaning that either they hadn't yet made it inside, or that they where currently searching the second floor. Either way, he wasn't going with them. William still couldn't believe that the creatures he had fought so hard to defend had turned on him, "Guess I should have seen  it coming." He thought to himself as he advanced up the stairway. It was then when he caught sight of the invader, or rather one of them.

It was a bat pony, sure enough.  What with it's leathery wings and tuffled, bushy ears. It wore a set of ornate purple armor. And a ski mask over it's face, from it's stature, William could tell that it was a female. Then, it turned and looked at him, right at him. For a moment, neither of them moved, neither said a word. They just stood there, staring into one another's eyes. In a flash, William had his gloved hand cupped around it's muzzle, being sure to keep the sword hanging at it's side out of it's reach. The bat pony struggled, but he kept hold of it, dragging it into his bedroom, he locked the door, and pressed his gun up against it's muzzle.

"Who are you? And why are you here." The creature spat, "I'm not telling you anything." He cocked the hammer back, and the tone in his voice changed, "Listen, this is my house, I don't care weather or not you're royal guard. If it weren't for my sense of right and wrong, you'd be dead already." The creature was unimpressed, "Well then, why are you sparing me? Unless, that is, you're planning on using me as a hostage?  He laughed at this, and pulled off his ski mask. "Listen, ma'am, Luna told me you guys would be coming here. So, how 'bout this, I disarm you, and you leave? Or, you stay, we all agree not to kill each other, and we all have a mug of hot coco and tell stories, how's that sound?" The pony was silent, "I can't tell if you're insane, stupid, or both. I'm Equestrian special forces moron,  lunar guard to be specific. I've dealt with my fair share of nut cases, you're no exception." 

"Finally, common ground." He had met, and trained with special forces back on earth, primarily the U.S Army Rangers. Add to that if  ESF was anything like the soldiers he had met back on earth. They wouldn't be that hard for him to befriend, "I both approve of, and and respect your profession, but please, don't patronize me." The bat pony continued struggling. This time, she lashed out with her fangs, digging into the Kevlar plating on William's arm pads. Still, he didn't flinch. "I haven't shot you yet- haven't even hurt you yet, and this is how you repay me?" He  shrugged, given that it was exactly what he would do if put in a situation like this. "My teammates are on the other side of that door, and when they get through-" He put his hand back over her mouth, motioning for her to shut up. "How many?"

"I'm sorry, what did you just-" He brushed the gun barrel of his sidearm up against her muzzle. "Tell me." She lay still for a moment, likely deciding weather to tell the human in front of her the information he wanted, or lose her life. It wasn't much of a competition." There's 5 of us. 4, since I'm here." He nodded. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" The bat pony asked. The princess had given her no real explanation as to why her and her team where going after some hairless monkey. "For this." He slammed his elbow into her back, dropping her to the floor, before she could react, he had zip tied her legs behind her back, rendering her all but immobile, he was sure to get her wings as well. "Stay still and shut up." He holstered the .45, and redrew his P90, flipping the flashlight off, and instead mounting an IR (Infrared) Laser to it's side. He drew on a pair of night vision goggles, and slowly opened his door. Knowing that he would likely have to beat the other 3, if not more. In hand to hoof combat, something he had never tried before. That didn't matter, all creatures reacted the same way to a left hook-right hook swing to the upper jaw. Pain. 

He waited in the doorway for them, but they never showed. He knew better though, this was a ruse. If they where any good, they'd probably try to outflank  them. Something nigh impossible, given that this was his house. He heard a window crack open, and a moment later, a single grey hoof stepped out into the hallway from one room down. This one didn't have the reaction time of it's compatriot. He tackled it to the ground, pinning it's neck to the floor. It appeared to be a stallion this time around. Just as the other did, he reached for his weapon, only to be swatted away and restrained by William. As he did this, he felt a blade did into his vest from behind. Of course, given the armor he had on, it did little more than annoy him. He manifested a bowie knife and parried it away. From there, he went right for the hoof that was holding the sword. One well placed kick later, and the 2nd creature had been disarmed and restrained. That left 2 more. Franticly, he scoured the hallway with his NVG's, searching for the other 2. He felt a gust of wind brush past his face. 

Something he immediately recognized as a wing flap. Spinning around, he swung a cattle prod through the darkness, about halfway though the motion, it caught something. William followed it to the ground. Grabbing hold of it's mane and throwing it to the floor, being sure to keep both it's fangs and it's sword out of reach of it. Now the playing field was even,1to 1, if the first bat pony he had restrained was telling the truth that was.


"Hey, listen, everypony, stop. Just stop!"

He threw up his NVG's and switched on his helmet light. Revealing a 4th bat pony, already into the motion of swinging his sword. William lunged backward out of the way, and drew a taser. Sending 2 prods directly into it's unarmored neck, shuttered and fell. William dropped the expended taser, making it disappear before it hit the ground, and drawing his M45A1. "Please stop resisting, I'd hate to kill any of you tonight." 

"Why are you hesitating?" The stallion behind him coughed. 


"Because, as much as I hate ponies. I still, and this is gonna sound weird. The only reason you aren't dead is because I care about you, each and every one of you. I have a special fondness for you all."

He headed for the circuit breaker in his house, and flipped it on, activating the overhead lights. From there, he went around, disarming them one by one and dragging them into his bedroom. They all looked over at their squad leader,  awaiting orders.


He set himself down on the bed, and looked down at the 5 ponies. He put his left hand up and scratched the back of his head, " You violated castle law and the 4th Amendment. You broke into my house. But, I'm not one to ever use lethal force on ponies, plus, you're bat ponies. ESF at that." They looked at one another, then back at him, finally, one of them spoke up," I'm their leader, what are you going to do to us?" She said it as though they where fighting for their lives.

"Listen, as I said. I'm not going to hurt you, anymore at least." He gestured to the unconscious stallion lying beside them,"  So what then?" The leader asked. He sighed," Tell you what, how 'bout I brew up some hot coco, we sit down on my couch, and talk about each others backstories, hmm?"  He awaited their answer, not just because they quite literally had no other choice, but because he had always wanted to meet a bat pony. And now he was face to face with 5 of them. 

" Very well then, it seems we have no choice, so by all means, lead the way." He grinned at this, albeit, a small part of him still didn't trust them. " 2 more things, one, promise me you won't try to turn me in, kill me, or harm me in anyway if I untie you." The leader nodded." Ok, I can promise that, what else?"

"Well, how about your names, I can't just keep referring to you as "The bat ponies that broke into my house and tried to kill me." She hesitated for a moment," Nightshine, Lieutenant Nightshine. I'm afraid I can't give you the names of my squadmates." He patted his thigh, and got up. "I can respect that." 

He walked over to her, and cut the zip ties. " Name's William, pleasure to meet you lieutenant." He extended his hand, reluctantly, the equine shook it. One by one, he shook the others hooves. "Good. Now that we're all acquainted, I'll untie you, but remember what I said-"

"Yes, yes, we 'try' anything, you kill us, we got it... You are the strangest creature I have ever met." 

Slowly and suspiciously, he untied them.  They all stood up, examining themselves, then turning to look up at William. "Comon', let's go little ones."

He made sure to snatch his laptop on the way downstairs. He knew exactly what he wanted. 

" What's that?" Lt. Nightshine asked, pointing her right hoof at the laptop tucked firmly underneath his arm.

"Well, you'll see." He made his way down into the kitchen, being sure to keep the ponies in his sight. he reached into the cabinet, and pulled out a mix of coco. 

"Here it is, you like it hot or cold?"

"Warm." They all replied. He nodded, and, after mixing it together with some milk, set it to boil. Spinning back around, he walked past them into the front room where his laptop lay. Swiftly, he pulled it open, entered in the password, and opened up his music folder. "Hmm, let's see...Ah, here's a good one, it's called, "Keep your rifle your side, By Hope county choir."   

"Keep your what?" He sat down on the couch, crossing his legs, an M4 with an EOtech holographic sight mounted on top appeared in his grasp. "This, it's an allegory for the culture of my native country." He told them, patting the other side of the couch, " Sit on down, it's ok, I don't bite. You're the ones with the fangs after all. " The group of armored bat ponies were unamused by the joke, but did as instructed. William pressed play, and reclined back. As he did, he wrapped his arm around one of them. Surprisingly, the stallion didn't object. ruffling his wings a bit. William chuckled, he had somehow managed to turn a group of supposedly hardened special forces into what appeared to, at least to first glance, friends. All without Twilight's nonsensical teachings. 

"I'm gonna have to make a surprise appearance at the royal throne room tomorrow, with them by my side, Celestia won't touch me." He closed his eyes and began slowly rocking his head back and forth, setting his other hand on the M4. He noticed that a few of them had begun humming along with the song.


They'll come loud and they'll come fast

but we shoot first and we can last

keep your rifle by your side!
> Confronting the Celestial Tyrant
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a morning just like any other in Canterlot, the sun was out, the sky was a deep blue, cloudless dome, and the streets where filled with ponies just going about there day. Among the passerby's and civilians walked  5 armored bat ponies, and a single human, touting a rifle on a sling and clad head to toe in combat fatigues, and a pistol lying dominant in a holster located on his left thigh, he dragged his feet as he walked, gaze fixed straight ahead, not speaking a word. Not many would know it, but they where on their way to a very important meeting. Silently, they approached the front gate of Canterlot castle. The entrance was bared by a wood gate and metal portcullis. And flanked on either side by unicorn guards in gold armor.

As they crossed the moat, lieutenant Nightshine stepped forward, and whispered something to the 2 guards. They nodded, and a second later, the gate came rattling up. They walked inside, headed straight for the royal throne room. "Listen, I know  she may be your commanding officer, and your leader. But I'm innocent, and I couldn't care less about either of those things." The Lieutenant looked up at William as though he was crazy, "You better watch your tongue around the princesses William." He smirked, "Where I'm from, our government is governed by the people. Not mythical creatures capable of raising and lowering the sun and moon at will.

"What do you mean by, "Governed by the people?" His grin remained, "I don't want to get into it, right now. Let's just state my case." They all grunted in agreement. 

However they may have presented themselves on the outside, he knew the truth. As was the case with all other ponies, they were biologically programed to care for those in distress.  Bat ponies even more so, from what he had heard, their history was long, dark, and bloody, they had learned to care for one another. And truth be told, William was a tad bit honored that they thought him worthy of it as well. At last, they reached the throne room, motioning for the guards to leave, he swung it open. And looked into the vast, cavernous space that was the equestrian royal throne room. As he expected, on the far side sat Celestia and Luna, as innocent looking as ever, he knew better.

"Well I'll be damned! Last time I was here this place was in shambles!" He exclaimed with a hint of sarcasm, the 2 celestial alicorns giggled at this, and finally, Celestia answered him, " So, to whom do we owe the pleasure of this visit?" He facepalmed out of both disbelief and frustration. " My ego, and my conscience. By the way, your assassination attempt failed." 

He pointed down at the 5 armor clad bat ponies standing at his side.

"My princess, please accept my deepest apologies-" Luna held up her hoof, implying for Lt. Nightshine to stop talking.

" There is nothing to apologize for lieutenant. You did well." She saluted the princess and trotted back to her squad mates. 

Celestia turned to William, " In truth William, I asked Luna to send our most hardened soldiers after you because we believed you had become a threat to Equestria that Twilight and her friends could not handle. So I suggested that we capture you by... Unconventional means. Clearly, it did not work out as we planed. "He let out a booming laugh, and smiled earnestly.

"Heck no it didn't! I disarmed them, talked them out of killing me, and befriended them. All without Twilight's teachings, what do you say to that?" Nightshine raised her hoof, and began speaking, "Princess, before you go off assuming anything-" Luna stopped her, and Celestia joined in.

"Well then William, you are free to go, simply by proving that you could turn an enemy into a friend. You demonstrated that you where not a threat to equestria, or it's inhabitants. " He nodded, and tapped the stock of his rifle. "Well, that wasn't the response I was expecting, but thank you. Oh, and one more thing, Celestia. I know you want to know the secrets behind my weapons. And don't think I don't see you back there, Shining armor. Let me guess, the princesses put you there as a counter measure in case things went sideways? It's ok, you can come on out, besides, aren't you married now?" 

A tall unicorn stallion dressed in purple and gold armor stepped out from behind a marble pillar. "Yes, yes I am." He paused for a moment, and scratched his chin, "Your voice sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it." He shrugged, "Eh, mystery for 'nother time. See you later, royal sisters." He waved, spun 180 degrees, and began walking out of the room, this time. Lt. Nightshine and her team didn't follow.

"Oh, one more thing, I've arranged for a royal carriage to bring you home. It's waiting in the royal garden."

He growled in annoyance, waved goodbye. Then walked out the door alone. Down the maze of corridors, and out the front entrance. Sure enough, there was a carriage waiting there, pulled by 2 pegasi. He laughed, and slapped his knee. "She expected me to take this home, oh hell no. This is downright slavery." He walked up to the carriage, and snapped his fingers, the pegasi's ears turned to the sound of his voice before their heads did. "Where to?" They asked.

William's face wore an expression consisting of a mixture of determination and annoyance. he waved to them, "Umm, hello there. Listen, here's some free advice, get another job, this ain't worth it."

He walked away, right out of the castle walls, planning to take the train instead.  Briskly, he jogged his way to the train station, purchased a ticket with the bits he had on him, and headed off towards Ponyville. 

As the vehicle sped down the tracks, he couldn't help but think to himself, " Why did Celestia let me off that easy?" 


He knew the answer of course, she was for almost anything friendship related. Something he personally found quite overrated, with exception of a few but still, his encounter with the bat ponies had given him the chance to check yet another thing off his bucket list. Plus, he had made a few new allies, in an unlikely place at that.

Several hours later the train ground to a stop at Ponyville station, all way quiet. Being that it was late evening, and the sun had begun to go down. William was angry now, he hadn't eaten since this morning. And the ponies on the train had been haggling him nonstop for his backstory. "He looks weird, surly he must have some pretty wacky and wild stories in that head of his." They must have thought. William didn't talk, the whole trip back he sat there, arms folded and leg's propped up, in utter silence. Daydreaming. He looked out he window to see that he had arrived, and, with a quick wave to the conductor. He walked off, and stepped out onto the wooden deck of the train station. A single alicorn stood on the far side.

"So, how did it go?" Joey asked, he had just been informed of William's predicament that morning, and was curious as to what the princess had said. William grunted. "I'm hungry, lets get something to eat, I'll tell you about it then, also, anything odd happen while I was gone? I swear, I always miss the best fights." His friend laughed. "As you said, it can wait 'till we have food in front of us.
> Discount Air Force
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William walked down a road with a rifle in his hand, humming, "My Little Armalite." Without a care in the world, after all, he had just won a big legal case a few days earlier. Joey had taken quite well to it as well, and the majority of Ponyville's residents had either backed off or apologized. All of with he gladly accepted. Kicking up the dust around him as he walked. His eyes wandered to the surroundings he had seen many times by now. There weren't many ponies, or other creatures for that matter out on the road this particular morning. So he walked alone, as he always did.

As he drew closer to the town school house, he was suddenly passed by by a group of ponies wearing what appeared to be... Rainbow Dash merchandise? "The ####?" He murmured to himself, momentarily he scratch his chin, and blinked. "Hey, why in the name of all that is good and sane are you wearing that?!" William shouted at the group passed him by. "We're part  of the Rainbow Dash fan club!" They responded, galloping off down the road. Leaving a confused William in his wake, he thought back to a particular 'fandom' from his time back on earth as he stood there.

"Very well then. I guess I ought to figure out what the #### is going on." He looked forward to see the actual Rainbow dart inside a building. He followed close behind. Stopping just beyond the doorway to listen in, "Oh hey Scootaloo, I was just in the neighbor-oh, what's this? She flew further inside. Forcing William to follow.

"What's going on?" He asked. His tone was reminiscent of a soldier interrogating their foes after a battle. "-Interrupting a fan club meeting?" She continued, in front of her, standing on her hind leg. Was her step sister. Holding a poster, trying to keep it out of view of Rainbow. " Hey, happy family. It's me, Quiet Kid. Explain." He let his rifle fall to low ready, and folded his arms. Awaiting a response.

"Well, here it is." The filly unfurled it, revealing a green tinted image of a pegasus, wearing a flight helmet. "This is what you were concealing?" William fought back a snort. "Eh, it's not actually that bad." Rainbow on the other hoof...

"What is the... Washouts?" William facepalmed, "It's Military slang for failures. Don't sweat it Rainbow, let her have her hobby." William couldn't care less, he was staring at a flightless pegasus. It was, sad, in a comedic way.  "It's only the newest,  greatest, and only stunt troop in equestria." His eye twitched. " You'd think that in a world like this, there'd be more of them." But no, Rainbow seemed to fall in with it. Disregarding his warnings completely.  


" Stay calm William. Don't shoot them." He breathed in and out, and pated the sidearm at his side. " I'm gonna be leaving now. Don't follow me." He spun, and jogged out of the room, slamming the door in his wake. 


So, what's this washout thing?" He looked down at a poster as he walked through town center. "Let's see...Hmm, let's see, ah. They're doing a show this weekend?   Why the #### would I ever go to that?" He turned to search for a trashcan, only to be headbutted by an alicorn.

"Ahhh!!!That hurt man! The hell's wrong with you?!" William shouted, scratching his forehead. The Kevlar helmet had weathered the majority of the impact.  But the most painful part of it had come from Joey's horn. which, despite the pain it had just caused him, had just barely scratched the helmets paint job.

"Oh, you think you have it bad?" Joey asked, pushing himself back up onto all four hooves. He had flown right into William, who noticed that the same poster in his hand that he did. It took only a moment for him to put 2 and 2 together. "Let me guess, you wanna go?" Joey nodded." They're called the washouts, you are aware of what that slang means?" Joey nodded a second time. "Yeah, I do. But that aside, you know I'm always up for trying new things-" William cracked the knuckles of his gloves. "And you know that I despise it."


"Well yeah, but-"William stopped him again, "I feel it to be important, so I shall go with you." He said it in a loud, comedic tone. Yet in a way that Joey couldn't quite tell whether he was joking or not. William crossed his arms. Shook his head in a gesture of, "What the #### am I doing with my life?'" And walked away to spend the rest of his day out in the everfree forest in solitude. Blowing up trees while listening to country music. One of his favorite pastimes.

Several days later...


"Well, I'm here." William entered an open area filled with colorful tents, to his direct front, was an open dirt field, to it's sides where rows of metal risers, ornately decorated with banners and streamers. Beyond that, was the treeline. There was a slight wind blowing today, quite odd. As natural wind is, to put it simply. A very, very  uncommon sight outside of the everfree forest.  Personally, he liked it. And for the first time in a long while, wore a patrol cap over his head rather than his typical ballistic helmet. The stands themselves where quite crowded. Clearly, whoever these, "Washouts," where, they either had a very good name for themselves. Or they where scamming the entire audience. Then again, there was no fee for visiting this event, at least. Not for William, but he. Unlike the hundreds of  ponies here, was 6' tall, covered in muticam Fatigues and armor, armed to the teeth, and carrying a reputation as a one creature army on his shoulders. All combined with a pair darkened tactical sunglasses. It could have just been that. He slowly walked through the tent area, eyes shifting back and forth, searching for Joey. A few ponies attempted to strike up conversation with him. But he just stood silent until they went away. Yet still, a small crowd always seemed to follow him wherever he went.


"Ah, there he is." William spotted his friend, being haggled by the crowd. All amazed by the sight of another alicorn. Most paid no heed of him. Being that they had seen him around town before, regardless. Joey was still far more talkative then he was. Calmly and firmly, he approached him, and snapped his fingers. "Hey, what are you doing?" Joey froze for a moment, and looked over. William groaned in annoyance, this wasn't the first time he had dealt with this. He jabbed a thumb behind him, "The six are right over there, snap out of it. We got work to do." Joey gave him a nod. And the 2 of them approached the six, not conversing with them. But being sure to remain within earshot.


"Well, good news is, they don't seem to be that interested in it, Scottaloo being the only exception. And of course, Pinkie, who was busy going around distributing a new batch of cupcakes she had made. William didn't take one. Going straight to the first open seat he could find in the stands. He sat down, drawing the attention of a few more ponies in the crowd. Whom he waved away. "Look at this, it's a total Wonderbolts ripoff!" He heard Rainbow call out from a few rows down, he just shrugged. "Eh, hat 'em both, don't care. I'm only here because I got a gut feeling I should be." He murmured to himself,   setting his legs up. He looked out onto the field. And  was immediately thrown into a fit of irritation as what sounded like an equestrian attempt at copying his own music blared over the speakers. 


"Ah hell no, y'all ain't ruinin' metal for me." With aggressive swiftness, he racked back the the bolt of a Delta 5 Daniel defense sniper rifle, chambered a 6.5 mm Creedmoor round. And blew out the loudspeakers with a single well placed shot. It sparked, and fell to the ground, regardless, it didn't stop the show. The field was filled with a green mist, and a moment later, a group of pegasi wearing black and green flight suits appeared out on the field. Much to moth William's horror, amusement, and confusion. 

"Dafaq am I looking at?" A few of the ponies shushed him, then looked back at the pegasi on the field. He kicked back, threw a pair of headphones on over his head, set "Cowboy's on the Run," To blast on full volume. And closed his eyes. 


Slowly, he stood up, pulled the headphones up from over his ears. Grabbed his rifle, compulsively racked the action, and headed down the stands. He was headed right for the so called, "Washouts," He stomped his way across the field to them. As he did, he was interrupted by a crowd of ponies awaiting autographs. He gave a quick whistle. And they all cleared out, leaving just him, the six,  Joey. And of course, the Washouts.  He made a beeline right for them, until they where all engulfed by his shadow. "Explain." He said flatly. Looking right into their eyes. There were 3 of them,  it was quite apparent they were scared of him. 

"Explain what?" One of them asked, this one was a mare with sky blue fur, and a yellow mane.  William tapped his foot. "Well, perhaps we should start on the reason behind you being referred to as, the Washouts?"  They looked at his face, then down at his rifle. "Well, we're called that because we're all former Wonderbolt's. Name's Rolling Thunder, we've heard quite a bit about you." He didn't move. "Hmmm, ok.  And... Wait a moment, I recognize you. You're Lightning Dust? Right?" She nodded, "Yes..."

"Rainbow Dash ain't gonna be to happy when she sees you. Might wanna go easy on her thought, she's got her little sister with her. Or don't, yell at her as much as you please. I don't give a ####." He folded his arms, and watched as the 2 of them began frivolously bickering away. Then they turned to him. talked a bit more, though he couldn't quite make it out from there. Eventually, Lightning gave Scottaloo the autograph, and the 2 talked some more. That was at least, until Rainbow got angry for some reason or another scooped  her up. And flew off.

"Y'all best not press the issue." William turned to walk away. Thinking the conversation over, clearly. These "Washout's," Wanted more from him. Completely out of nowhere, Lightning asked, "Hey, how 'bout you. You wanna join? We've got one more sot on the team." He shook his head, "Me, with a bunch of failures? No. Just no." 

"Well, I mean, it's not like you could anyway. Unless you're hiding a pair of wings behind that armor?" The 3 of them flew off, laughing. William scowled, and turned to Joey. "What do you want me to do about it?" William groaned, and rubbed his forehead. He clenched his fist.  Then waved his hand at the pegasi flying off in the distance.

"Turn me." Joey raised an eyebrow, "Turn you back into a pony? Here?" William nodded. "Yes, now." Joey flinched at this, "Well, ok then. Might wanna move somewhere a bit more discreate. It's a tad bit...Ugly when you're awake." William's eyes widened. "Ok...Well, how painful is it?" 

"Never experienced it myself. It shouldn't hurt that much. Maybe just a little itch." William gave a thumbs up, and made for the treeline. Joey followed close behind, hi shorn lit. A half minute later, William's screech of pain echoed through the trees.

"Oh man, it feels good to be back!" William stood up, and ruffled his mane, and gave his neck holster a tug. Much to Joey's concern. "So, what now?" William clapped his hooves, " I go teach those idiot's a lesson." He spread his wings, and took off. "Don't kill them!" The words had just barely left his mouth before William had already left the local airspace. Joey took off after him.

"Hey, you!" The 3 pegasi turned looked up at the sky, above them, silhouette highlighted by the sun. Was an armored pegasus. A set of flight googles and a ski mask covered his face. He flapped his way to the ground, setting himself down before the 3. His mask hid a wide grin of anger and superiority. " Uh... Who are you?"  Rolling Thunder asked him. He towered over them.

"Oh, you don't remember me? It's me, the quiet kid. William? You mocked me, said I couldn't fly." They all looked at him, bewildered. " But, you were a-" He shook his head, "Oh no. I can fly, when I want to. Here's a warning, never, ever, say something like that to me ever again." He took a single step forward. "I'll leave you with that, don't go following me."  He spread his wings in a display of force. And flew off. Leaving the group with far, far more question's than answers.  William meanwhile, was off to the everfree forest. For what? Country music, and firearms. Combined with wings, it was more than he could ever have asked for. So he didn't he just did it himself.
> The "Cheeseburger" Incident
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I take it you're enjoying your food?" William asked Joey as the 2 sat of them sat a the opposite ends of a table. Joey was enjoying a hayburger, much to his friend's dissatisfaction.  Hay isn't exactly something humans can easily digest. And meat was by no means, "Readily available," In Equestria.  Sure he could have just had his friend, "Transform," Him again, and he damn well wasn't about to consume hay.  So he sat there, hungry. As his eyes wandered across the space of the quaint Equestrian dinner, his mind began to draw up an idea. 

"Hey, tell me Joey. What was the last time you ate meat, like, actual meat?" Joey swallowed another bite of his food, "I dunno, back when I was human?" William scratched his ear, and slammed his fist down on the table. " Same goes for me, I'm gonna go change that." Joey raised an eyebrow, "How?"

"Well, quite simple." A Remington 700 marksmen rifle appeared on the table. William proceeded to load the magazine and chamber a round. "I'm going hunting." The alicorn across from him finished the last bite of his meal. " You're what?"

"I'm going hunting, I'm hungry. I miss real food. " He slung the rifle over his shoulder. But as he turned to sit up, he felt  a tug on the back of his vest. It was his friend, who had grabbed onto him with his magic. "Quick question, what do you plan on hunting?" He tapped his foot, and snapped in the air, "Eh, deer's out of the equation, so's rabbit. I used to have pet rabbit, named Dash. Left him back on earth. Cow's I guess?" Joey shrugged.

"Where the hay are you going to find a cow?" They both looked out the window, just in time to see Applejack, luging a cart of apples behind her, trotting down the road.  "Bingo." Joey shook his head, "No William. You can't just go murdering her cows. I'm sure we could-" he hadn't finished his sentence before William had already charged out the door. And Was headed for her farm, much to Joey's bewilderment.

"Hey, wait up!" He cried out, flying off after him, a moment later, a screech of, "Sicut Vult!" As I will it, resonated out across the town. As he flew, Joey Bit back a curse, sure, he may have been his friend. But he was still at least somewhat sure that cow's in this world possessed sentience. Although, he could have been wrong. Regardless, come Tartarus or high water, William would get his fill.

As he neared the farm, he dove into a patch of bushes, rolling straight off the path. His time training with Army Rangers, and browsing YouTube for things that would most definitely have put him on an NSA watchlist. Top priority at that, he knew full well how to ambush and secure a compound, or at least. Evade enemy detection. Normally, he'd just walk down the main road clad in head to toe ballistic plates and and an LMG. Or pick them off from a distance with well placed, Call of Duty esque headshots. But this wasn't just another enemy fortification of compound. This was a farmhouse which belonged to a friend of his, the only thing he wanted here was a cow. A dead cow. On a barbeque.


From there, William moved to a relatively quiet part of the farm, a small patch of tree's on the western side. It provided ample concealment form any pegasi flying over head he should know. Being that he had flown over it multiple times when he was, "One of them." And the area itself looked like a less traveled and worn part of the farm than anywhere else. Plus, it came with the added bonus of overlooking the Cowpens. Prefect for what he was about to attempt. "Now I just have to lay here and wait for the sun to go down." He whispered to himself, rather than taking a nap as he usually would've. He began furiously pacing back and fort. Day dreaming about...Something. 


"You know, I wonder if ponies can eat meat?" It was a question he had asked himself many times before. Although he had never received a valid answer. Being that most in this world would never dare test the theory. It was something he would have to go on and try 'next time'. 


At last, after hours of lying in wait. Awaiting the daytimes departure and the cover of night. He Got up off the log he had taken to sitting on, and began picking out an adequate target.  Which was quite difficult, considering that the majority of the herd had been moved to the interior of the ban. Regardless, there were still a few. And it didn't take long for him to find exactly what he was looking for. A bull, or male cow. On the far side of the field. A good 800 yard downrange from him. Not wanting to risk missing, and potentially hitting an " Unwanted," Target. William crept closer, being sure to use the shadows from the apple tree's to mask his approach.  Using a laser rangefinder, and some basic geometry, he could now tell he was about 400 yards away. close enough so that he was sure that he wouldn't miss, but also far enough away so as to stay out of the cow's detection range. 

" ...And, there we are." With a whisper, he laid the rifles thermal sight's on the cows head. Unfolded a bipod, took a breath. And pulled the trigger. The round left the barrel at at supersonic speeds, traveled across the meadow, and right into the  skull of the bull. Killing it instantly, as soon as he was sure that he had a confirmed kill. William left his hiding spot and rushed to the corpse. feeling it over to ensure it was fully dead. He now faced the prospect of having to actually get it back home without being discovered. 

Both fortunately and unfortunately, Joey was still out looking for him. And the muzzle flash from his Remington had been just enough for the alicorn to zero in on his position. And William watched through his NVG's as his friend landed before him. "So, you actually did it?" There was zero emotion in his voice. William pulled up his ski mask, and grinned. "Damn right I did. Would you be so gracious as to help me move the body?" He rolled his eyes.

" Where are you moving it?" William slung the rifle over his shoulder, "My house. I'm gonna eat well tomorrow!" His shout was quieter than usually, he still didn't want to wake the apple family up. And so, after cleaning up the field, and burring the blood. The 2 off them carried the cow to Williams house, dropping it off on his kitchen table.

"So, what now?" William scratched his head, and removed his helmet."  Go home, get a good night's rest.  I'll have this thing ready for lunch tomorrow. Joey did as told, and left. The door slammed behind him on the way out.


William's barbeque was set up in his backyard. On it lay 4 beef patties. Country music blared trough a set of speakers from inside, and he himself sat on a lawn chair, racking the bolt on an M4 back and forth, while occasionally stopping to check on the burgers. He had had a bit of practice back on earth making them. And he had spent the whole morning gathering supplies.  When he heard hoofsteps behind him, he expected to find Joey. And he did, alongside the six.


"What are you making?" Applejack asked him, his expression didn't change, "Went hunting yesterday. This, is the result." twilight sniffled, "You mean, that's meat?" He nodded, 'Yes, and it's not for you. Now go, shoo." he waved them away.  And turned back to finish his burgers, taking the patties off the grill, he set them inside buns, alongside cheese, lettuce, tomato's, and pickles. "You, Joey. Have one." His friend walked up to them, and eyed the first one on the plate, "Uh, are you sure?" 

"Of course I am. Go on, try one!" Joey took a bite of it, chewed it for a few moment, then smiled. "So, do you like it?" Joey paused, "Are you kidding? Where did you learn how to cook like this?" The tone in his voice told William that ponies could indeed eat meat.

"Well..."


> The Quiet Kid breaks the Spirit of Harmony
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what you're telling me is, that there's a secret labyrinth of crystalline caverns  underneath this school that I don't know about?" William asked, the tone in his voice was gruff and calm. And yet still, this had done nothing to calm the nerves of the poor maintenance pony. According to the earth pony mare standing before him, she had stumbled upon a series of strange tunnels while servicing the schools ventilation system.  She was going to tell Twilight about it, but was stopped by William. Who at the time, had been making his rounds around the school, in vain hope of finding some nonexistent threat. Something to fight. This was not that, but, nevertheless. It was still intriguing. 

"And tell me, where did you first come across these...Caverns?" The mare looked into his eyes as though he was insane, "Uh, the ventilation system? I thought I just told you about this-"He held up his gloved hand in a gesture of mock reassurance, "Eh, don't worry about it." The shadows on his mask clad face seemed to darken, the light from the windows outside seemed to darken. "Not a word of this to anycreature, not even the princess. Got it?" The mare nodded, and slipped out of sight. William sighed, folded his hands, and began walking back down the hallway. His rifle slung over his left shoulder.

"Hmmm," He really didn't have any words for it anymore. It seemed like every single one of Twilight's 'lessons,' was the same. Today, she was teaching her students about the tree of harmony. That damned thing, something about just irritated him to his core.  

This time, as was usual, they weren't quite getting it. He had only peeked through the doorway from a brief moment. But from just that alone, he could see that they were confused. Scrambling to take notes on a subject that was so... Pointless. " Oh well, to bad for them." he wasn't about to pity them, he had all but ran out of things to teach the young six. And it seemed as though they preferred Twilight anyway. Much to his disappointment. He left the hallway, and entered the library. A wide open room, all around him were shelves lined floor to ceiling with books.  The gilded  purple carpet his boots were dragging on were in stark contrast to the comparatively dull polished stone floors.  His eyes wandered, and he soon found just what he was looking for. A grate in the floor. Leading to what most would assume to be the ventilation system. But if what that mare had told him was true, that was actually the entrance to what could be the most exciting part of his week.

" Now, let's see what you're hiding." He whispered to himself as he crept closer to the grate, as he did. He began to notice a strange blueish glow emanating from it. One that he thought he knew. With caution, he knelt down by the grate, and stared down into he abyss, studding it as best as he could from where he was. The more he looked at it, the vivider the glow seemed to get. Curious, he knocked the grate aside with a couple blows from a combat knife, and peered deeper into the foggy void below. Just as he was doing this, he heard a rustling of papers behind him. It was the young six, sure enough. He had been around them far to much to not recognize their motions, even if by hearing alone. Not wanting to explain what he was doing, he took the only illogical path. Jumping straight down into the abyss, rifle aimed into it and bayonet at the ready.

Although, as he did. He heard the voice of a certain curly haired pegasus that made him clench his rifle even harder. "Cozy, that piece of ####. Oh, I can't wait to put a round in her." It was then when it hit him, well... The ground hit him, hard. He landed on his side, the backside of his ballistic vest dug into his shoulder, causing him to wince in pain. He struggled to his feet, then activated the flashlight mounted to his M4. Spinning around the room, he could see that it was indeed, crystalline in nature. Just as the maintenance pony had described. Though, the floors were just regular dirt. He looked straight up, and saw a crack of light above him, it was the vent which he had entered though. With no way back up. The walls of the cave provided little to no grip. Although he had no doubt that he could get a grappling hook up there himself. And sure enough, after a few tries. He did. But, rather then leaving right away, he thought it prudent to explore the cavern.

And so, only after setting a P90 Personal defense weapon firmly in his grasp, and switching on the flashlight mounted to it's side. He began to make his way through the cave. But as he trekked deeper and deeper, he began to get a feeling that something was watching him, only to slip out of view every time he waved his light around. It didn't feel malicious, more curious than anything else. But in Equestria, he had learned that more often than not, that was the same thing.

" Well, show yourself. Comon', don't be shy! " He shouted as loudly as he could, bracing himself up against a wall as he did. He full well expected some horrendous abomination to come lunging out from the shadows at him, but no. What appeared instead as the Simmering form of Twilight Sparkle. He knew exactly who this was, or rather, what this was. 

"Harmony." He raised his middle finger, but his exterior body language remained the same. "William." It responded back, "What are you doing here?" His gaze remained fixed on the being, although his finger drifted ever so closer to the trigger. "I'm exploring, I take it this whole place is your doing?" 

"Indeed it is, this place is not for you. I would ask that you leave immediately." He paused for a moment, although, he didn't stop to look away, he didn't even blink. "No. Don't try to stop me." The shimmering form of the spirit of harmony raided an eyebrow. "Why are you doing this. Why are you against the magic of friendship?" the way she-No, it, said it was haunting. "I don't have to answer to you. Now go, bully somepony else." Without another word, the spirit vanished. " Well.." William snapped his finger, "What the #### man?!" He shouted out. No response came. In the distance, he could hear hoof and claw steps. " Normal people wouldn't stay a second longer. I ain't normal." He pressed onwards. 


"...And a couple mags of ammo for me little armalit-" William stopped humming when he heard something moving in the darkness. And then, 2 sets of glowing green eyes came into view, "Changelings." He murmured to himself. But something was off about them.. There was a third figure in the tunnel. One he easily recognized. "Hey, Chrissy!" He moved faster. Until the 2 changelings cam into view. These, unlike like the other's he had recent met. Were just like the one's he had encountered on his first trip to Equestria. Without slowing down, he grabbed the first one, slid a knife into it's foreleg, and snapped it's neck, then turned his gun on the second one. Putting 2 rounds through it's insectoid skull. As he dusted the green blood off his hands, he noticed the vague form of Chrysalis, curled up in a little ball in the corner, crying.  

" What's wrong?" he asked warmly,  " T-this  isn't me!" It cried out. William kept his gun on her, "What, did you get a bad case of amnesia or something, or are you faking it?" The creature continued it's fit of sobbing, "It's me, Ocellus." He laughed. " I don't care, where are the others?"   the changeling stopped, and got to her hooves. "Well, you see. we got separated-"


"I don't wanna hear it. Can you lead me to them." She sighed, "as I was about to tell you, I'm lost. " He clenched his fist. And turned away to look into the darkness. " Follow me, stay close." He took a step forward, but Ocellus hesitated, " Listen, I'm going with or without you." He clapped, and raised his gun to his shoulder. " Let's go." And so he walked, and walked, and walked. Until they came to a crossroads. At it's center, was a lone yak. Yona, surrounding her were thousands of small scurrying... Whatever they were. It was at this point that William had had enough of this cave systems nonsense. It was as though something in his mind just snapped. He raised his PDW, drew a combat knife, lowered a visor down over his face. Let out his signature cry of, "Sicut vult!" And charged straight into the cluster of creatures. Unsure of what to make of it, Ocellus and Yona did the only thing any sane creature would do. Run. As they did, they came across the others in their group. They kept going, until they had made it back to the grate in the floor, as swiftly as they could. They scrambled out of it, back into the library.  


"What happened?" Twilight asked them, the alicorn was standing before them, with Rainbow Dash and Rarity by their sides. "William happened." They all responded. Twilight shook her head, just as a booming laugh emanated from the cavern below. The sounds of gunfire, explosions , hacking and slashing. And of course horrible agonized  screeches of pain echoed out along with it. All they could do is stand there in shock. Inching further and further away. At last, About 20 minutes later. It all came to an end.

A gloved hand reached out of the shaft. A few moments later, the armored form of William clawed itself out of the hole. In his left hand, he held a P90, in the other. A Tomahawk. He was clad head to toe in a black Nomex suit hazmat suit, on top of it was a lattice of hard and soft Kevlar plates. A dark gas mask obscured his face. And a strange helmet sat tightly on his head. His armor was potmarked with all manner of scars scars, bite marks, and claw marks and even a few magic burns.  He was drenched in sickly green blood that dripped to the floor as he stood there. The sheer sight of it was enough to make Rarity gag. William reached for his shoulder pad, and, with a tug, pulled a fang out of it.

"Sweet Celestia, what happened down there?" Twilight asked him as he began brushing the filth and gore off his gear. "I happened Twilight." She grimaced, "And what did you do down there."

"Lemme put it nice and simple. I broke the spirit of harmony." They all looked at him in terror now. "Uhhh..." William held up his right hand, and waved it at the doorway. "Leave me alone, I want ice cream." He pushed them aside, and made for the exit.
> One and the same: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William sprinted down a dark alleyway in the dead of night. His typical black armor glinted moonlight off it as he scrambled over a pair of discarded flower carts. He dropped an empty magazine onto the ground, and simultaneously, slammed a fresh one into the chamber, triggering the bolt catch release as he did. He turned, and ran though the center of town. As he his boot's thumped hard against the ground, he waved his rifle back and sprayed burst's of 5.56 back at... Something. He wasn't sure just what it was, except for the prospect that it had given him an innate sense of dread. He kicked open the doors of town hall, and rushed inside. Ducking behind a table as he reloaded once more. This time however, he fixed a bayonet to the  underside of his rifle.

"Hey! Mother####er!" He jumped out, his gloved hand catching himself as he dove over the table. It was then when he came face to face with what had been pressuring him, it wasn't quite like anything he had ever seen before. There was really no other way to describe it, it both felt and looked like the very physical manifestation of fear and dread itself. And he was about to, at least try. To horribly gore it to death. He raised his bayonet, and charged right for it's center. As he did, the whole scene suddenly blinked away. Replaced by his bedroom.


"Yep, my life is hell." He murmured to himself, patting the sides of his fatigues.  he looked over to the far side of his room, knowing full well he was still in a dream/ nightmare. "Oh, look. There's something wrong with the picture. I wonder what this could be?" The sarcasm in his voice was quite apparent. Slowly, he approached the only picture frame in his bedroom. What had once been a wonderful silhouette photo was now a blurry outline.  As he stepped closer to it, something familiar began to take shape within it's frame. He raised his gun. " I'm you're going to jumpscare me, save your breath." Oddly enough the figure in the mirror didn't move. As he inched closer and closer, the creature in the frame began to get clearer. He stopped about 2 feet from it, and squinted.

"Wait, it's you?" The figure in the mirror was a pony. One he recognized, it was him. Only, unlike the original image hanging on the wall, this one was staring back at him. The 2 stared back at one another for a moment, at last, the pony in the mirror spoke, "Hello there William. Yes, I know what you're thinking, why am I talking to you?" The creature in the painting blinked. And William nodded, taking a step back. "Well, I think you already know why, after all. You created me." William chuckled. "Well, I suppose I did." It's him sure enough. 

"Then I suppose that you also know that I am you, in their world. You also know that I happen to care for myself more than...Them, or, is that we? Regardless, we are one and the same." They both laughed, William was concerned. But he also knew that this was still just a dream, however odd it may be. 

"So, what do you want with me?" William asked with suspicion, rapping his hand against a nearby shelf. The creature rolls onto it's side, "What, can't an alter-ego get a break every once an a while?" William groaned, and rubbed his forehead. Oddly, his patience hadn't yet faded.  It felt as though he was talking to himself, because. In a way, he was. " Well, this ends our time. You best be getting up now. And, quick head's up. That friendship map things calling for you." In flash, the painting was back to normal. And William shot up out of bed, for real this time.

"Ah damnit, what is that itch?" he reached for his gun, and noticed it sparking green. "The hell?" He remembered what that... Thing in his dream had told him. But at the same time, his hatred for the spirit of harmony flared up. He still remembered all to well how that ghostly being had tried to kill him. Key word being tried. He had fought his way out of those tunnels the hard way. But still, this phenomenon intrigued him.  So, with his usual amount of bravado.  He threw on his usual gear, threw on some nice country-rock on his laptop. And walked downstairs, grabbing himself a mug of ice cold black coffee. He swigged it in one go, and swiveled around with unusual speed for this time of day. He downed an apple as he tied the laces of his combat boots. 

He pulled open his front door, stepped out onto the street. And head for Twilight's castle. Going at his own pace. His rifle rocking back and forth as he jogged down the familiar cobblestone streets. Drawing the usual amount of attention as he moved though the town. At last, he made it to her doorstep. Winded as usual. He went to pound on the door, but instead, just shoved them aside. "Hey, I'm here! What do you want?" He yelled out. William could hear talking from down the hall. Coming from the map room, with his pace slowing to a stroll, he entered. As soon as he had, all eyes in the room were laid on him. 

"My gun started glowing, explain." He demanded. His eyes drifted to the map, Twilight spoke up, "Well, the map called you. Along with Fluttershy and Applejack. " He scratched his head, That's an... Odd pairing. But ok, where are we going? " Twilight's expression darkened, "You'll be going to the peaks of peril." He stopped, looked around the room. And burst out laughing, everypony recoiled at his booming laughter. " And what, pray tell, is at these... Peaks of peril have in store that could warrant my rage and spare time?"  Fluttershy felt near the exact opposite of him, stuttering as she spoke.

"Rockhoof told me about it, back in his day. Nopony knew much about the peaks of peril, except for the legend on this ancient shield." She levitated a shield up for them all to see, emblazoned on it, were creatures he recognized. "Kirin and Nirik." He responded, they all turned to him in surprise, "How do you know that?" Joey questioned.

" Are you- None of you noticed the root-like horn on my head while I was a pony? None of you?" They all shrugged, or just stared at in with confusion. "Well, I did have it. Hey, you got me sold on this trip. I've already got everything I could need. My weapons, my ego, and... And..." He tapped his foot, and paced around the map, "You know what? That's all I need. We go to southern Equestria!" He spun around. Snapped his fingers, and marched out of the room. Leaving the assortment of ponies staring wide eyed in bewilderment. "I'm not even going to ask." Twilight murmured, trotting off in the opposite direction. Her final orders, before saying goodbye to Applejack and Fluttershy were, "Don't let William get to carried away. But if he does, don't get in his way." They agreed without question. And followed close behind.

"Y'alll better not ruin this for me." He said with a flat tone. Grinding his teeth as he stepped on the train.
> One and the same: Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Listen to the jingle. The rumble and the roar,

As she rides along the woodland or the hills and by the shore

hear the mighty rush of the engine!

hear those those lonesome hobos call!

travelin' through the jungle on the wabash cannon..." 

William's voice faded as the train ground to a halt at it's destination. A bleak, rundown train stop in the middle of nowhere. Groaning in mild irritation as he, Fluttershy, and Applejack disembarked, and the lavishly decorated locomotive pulled way. Leaving them standing there in confusion. William swiveled his head from side to side, and spoke up. "Well this is a ####hole. Which way to those peaks Twilight was so worried about?" He spun around to face the lone shack on the cracked stone deck  There was nothing but desert all around. With a few trees sprinkled in.  Applejack tapped him on the shoulder.  He turned again, this time. A cluster of distant mountains filled his vision. Encircled with fog and clouds. The wind as it happens, was quite a pain. And William had made sure to tie down any lose gear on his kit before stepping off the train. Applejack looked around.

"Guess nopony else is goin' out as far as we are." William laughed, " And why am I not surprised? You equines prefer the peace and 'harmony' of inner Equestria. I like this place already. It's quiet." He let out a small grin beneath his cowl. "But what if they know something we don't?" Fluttershy began trembling,  William looked down at his watch "And 3,2,1-"

"I'm sorry." And old pony trotted out from behind a patch of nearby bushes, he had a camera hanging around his neck. "I'm not used to anypony taking the train to the end of the line! The final destination! The last stop! " The tone in the creatures voice told William that he was most likely- No, definitely or his proverbial rocker. " I get it, you've been out in the sun to long. But I'm not a pony. So please, get out of our way, and leave us be." He rolled up his BDU sleeve, and scratched his arm. As he took a step forward, the elderly pony tried again to stop him, " You should be careful. Nothing but... Uncharted terrain and wild beast out that way." William laughed. "Listen gramps, I spend my free time in the everfree forest, I don't give a ####." He marched off towards the distant peaks.  The 2 mares followed close behind him.

From there, William made his way through through the bushland for several more miles. Crossing over a creek, scaling a few... Less than safe cliff faces, trudged his way through a rather nasty swamp home to a rather angry swarm of glowing insects. Whom he soon dispatched with a couple bursts of his flame.  From there, he crossed over a few ravines which, to be honest. He probably should have taken more time crossing, but did it anyway, after all, he was excited. At last, after quite a while. He stumbled out into a clearing. Clad in a dark green guile suit over his normal fatigues, carrying an M4, and whistling, "Still In Saigon" He looked up, to find himself face to face with set of massive cliffs. Ones that he recognized from the map back home as the, 'peak of peril.' He just stood there, admiring his achievement, behind him, an earth pony crawled her way out of the brush, covered in scrapes and scratches. She was panting, out of breath, "Hey, William, you seen Fluttershy?" He stood still, blinked, then turned away to look at her, "No, I have not." Applejack shook her head an ran back into the trees. Leaving William alone in the clearing. He sighed, and slumped down against a rock.

" Hey, you two. Look what I found!" William called out, waving the 2 of them over to a patch of bushes up against the cliff side. He motioned to a large mossy boulder, " Applejack, help me with this thing." She trotted over to him. And together, they pushed it aside, revealing a dark passageway carved into the mountainside. "Where were you?" He asked, stopping for a moment to wipe the sweat off his brow." I was off looking for Fluttershy, found her as usual. With her animals." He grunted, "Let's go." He switched on his picatinny mounted flashlight,  and led the way though the narrow passageway. 


" Oh, there it is." He murmured to himself, the mountain gave way to a village. The Kirin village, to be specific nestled in with an assortment of trees. It was, frankly, amazing. He heard Fluttershy and Applejack gasp behind him.  He could hear the bushes rustling all around them, but didn't raise his gun. "Hold." He ordered the 2 ponies at his side. They did as he had asked.  A few seconds passed, then, at last. Something stepped out of the bushes, as he had guessed, it was a Kirin, slightly taller than the others. One he assumed to be the leader. It was joined by about a dozen others, who formed a circle around the three. William cleared his throat, " Hello there, my names William, these are my two... Er, companions." None of them said a word, they only stood there, blank expressions on their faces, " Alright, not the talkative type I see..." William turned away, and scratched his chin.  "Uh... Hi there, my names Applejack, this here is Fluttershy. We heard ya had a friendship problem?" They didn't move. William tapped his foot, and clapped.

"So, I take it you won't mind if I take a peak around your village?" They still didn't respond. Finally, he turned to Applejack, "They're either hiding something. Or they're mute." He walked off towards the village. "Can any of you talk?" He repeated. Sitting down by a fountain near the village's center. Still, none of them spoke. And even worse, his patience was beginning to wear thin. Even with these mythical creatures which he happened to have an affinity for.  They wouldn't speak. Hell, the expressions on their faces never went beyond that of a confused glare.

"I'm getting bored. Ya know, I was looking forward to a conversation with you creatures. So, I will ask one, final time. Do any of you talk?" A few of them pointed cloven hooves at a small, overgrown pathway leading deeper into the jungle. "Uh, alrighty then." He stood up, and cautiously made his way through the bushes. And into the forest, as he made it to the treeline, he turned to Fluttershy and Applejack. " Stay behind, come with. I don't care." Applejack nodded, and followed him. Fluttershy sat in place. Likely to terrified  to follow them. "Watch out for Niriks!" She called out, William rolled his eyes, and grinned. " You kidding me?" He shook his head. And kept walking, he held no regard for Fluttershy's worries. He knew far, far more about this particular species than either of them, although, he wasn't about to spill it to them.

William trudged trough the forest at a modest place, staying on the main path as he continued whistling cold war era songs.  He actually rather liked this part of the forest, it had a general aura of calm. That, and the humidity wasn't as bad as everywhere else. As he he stepped past a bush he heard it's branches rustle. "Y'all  better not be trying to scare mw." He whispered to himself. Turning just in time to have a squirrel jump out of the bushes and chitter. "Really? All that tense build up... For that?" He groaned, and turned away. Just in time to come face to face with another Kirin. "Oh, didn't see you there. Hey, have you seen a-" He snapped his finger, "Wait a moment, are you the Kirin that can talk?" She shook her head, and he took a step past her, "Well then I guess I'll be on my way."  The Kirin winched. "Wait, don't go! Ugh, it's been so long since I've talked to some one else!" William sighed, " Glad to know you don't use ponyisms. Unlike the damn rest of Equestria." She chuckled, " I miss talking, it's been so long. Hi, I'm Autumn Blaze, you've just arrived," She tugged at his pant leg, which he uncomfortably  ripped away," And perhaps you're hungry and tried and reflective and you want to sleep and eat and churnnel, which you should do of course but first, oh what joy it is to talk with another creature it's been so long!" She jumped up on her hind legs and hugged him, "You must tell me everything about you there's so much to say so much to do and-" William clenched his fist. 

"Listen, Autumn,  I'd be more than happy to talk with you but. One, I like my personal space, and two, slow the #### down! Seriously, I haven't heard a creature talk this fast since I met Pinkie." He folded his hands, and she got down, "Oh, sorry. Uh, follow me." The Kirin trotted off, and William followed. It was at about this time when Applejack showed up, " Hey William. How's it going? I take it ya found the talking Kirin?" He nodded, " Damn right I did. "

Autumn Blaze led William up a long an winding path to her cottage.  Leaping in excited bounds as she did. William said nothing, he just kept pace as best as he could. Finally, she came to a stop at the edge of a cliff, and looked out. William made his way to her side. From horizon to horizon, the land was covered in a strange mixture of savannah and jungle. A massive river cut though the landscape, and above it, a rainbow stretched into the clouds. "Damn, this is amazing."

"Oh, you think so too? The way the light shines off everything like-like it all suddenly woke up the moment-" William held up a hand, "Please stop, it's beautiful. Sure enough, could do without the rainbow though. Reminds me a bit of Africa back on my home planet." The Kirin raised an eyebrow, "Wait, you're an alien?!" He scratched his helmet, "Uh, yeah. Sorta... Look, it's complicated. Mind if we discuss this somewhere else? She leapt off towards he cottage. William jogged after her, "Oh, by the  way, I figured I should mention. I was part Kirin at one point." This stopped her in he tracks, "Wait, what?" He smiled, "It's a long, long story. No, seriously, you better sit down." The 2 sat down on opposite sides of the cottage steps. "Anyway, where do I begin? Ah, yes... You see, about a year ago..."

Several hours later...

" Wow, just wow." As was usually the case when William gave out his backstory, the creature listening was amazed, most would never get to experience the things he did. In fact, it was so long and gruesome that he had decided to cut out most of it. Mostly, he just talked about his daily life in Ponyville, the strange powers that he had acquired from that group of now dead mages. And of course, per Autumn Blazes request, his transformation. She was amazed my the fact that he had not burst into flames whenever his temper flared up, he was curious about it as well.  Although, he decided that he would put it off to the side. At least until he got back to Ponyville. " Alright, you've heard my story, let's hear yours." He could tell from the Kirin's posturing alone that she was about into burst into song. Instinctively, William covered his ears but this time. He decided to actually try and sit through it, after all, there was a still a slim chance it could be good. So, he sat patiently, and listened to the Kirin, he was joined by Applejack.  


"Well, that... Actually, wasn't as bad as I thought it would." William murmured to himself as Autumn finished the last line of the song. " They actually though removing their ability to feel, well... A good idea?" He rubbed his forehead, it was quite apparent now what the issue here was. Good old fashioned Equestrian incompetence.  " So, where's that 'cure' you stumbled upon? If we can get the rest of your village to take it, that should solve the problem." She sighed, and hung her head. "I used the last of the Foals Breath flowers to cure myself. And I haven't seen them bloom since." 

"Damn, I can never have it easy. Oh well, least I could do is get your friends to welcome you back into the village." He spun around and began to make his way back down the mountain at a brisk jog, with Applejack in tow. "Uh, William. You sure you know what you're doing?"  He nodded as he ran, "That damned map called on me. I didn't have to come, but I did. Besides, these are Kirin, they get me. And I get them." The earth pony's confusion remained, " What do you mean by that-" He was already gone. 

"Alright, listen here. Everyone gather 'round!" He called out, per usual. Not a single Kirin responded. The only creature that did was Fluttershy, " Good news, I figured out what the issue here was. We just need to figure out a way to give them back their speech!" He folded his arms and awaited her response, "Oh no no no no no! We can't ever let that happen!" He let out a booming laugh, "Listen here and listen well. I know more than you. I'm not taking your suggestions." He began to turn away. "Wait! Just listen to what I have to say!" He ignored her, rather, he walked straight to the center of town, drew a .50 AE Desert Eagle, loaded it with blanks, raised it to the sky, and pulled the trigger. At last, he was able to get their attention, "Sorry, there was no other way to get you all to listen." He dropped the magazine in his gun and stuck it in a shoulder holster. Only to redraw  it a moment later, "Anger is a lot like a gun. It's only dangerous if you don't control it, or misuse it. wiping away all your feelings just to control your anger is the equivalent of politicians  trying to pass gun control laws. They do it simply because they don't see any other way, they fear that which they don't understand." They stared at him in confusion, so he held up his pistol again, "This, is a gun. It cannot, and will not hurt anything unless there is something there to use it. There is no such thing as a bad weapon, only a bad person." They nodded, finally, he seemed to be getting though to them.

A Kirin with dark red fur, a green mane and yellow scales stepped forward, and began to attempt what he could only assume to be charades.  "Lemme guess, you want the cure now?" They nodded again, "Well, I'm going to have to ask Autumn where she came across those flowers." With his good mood slowly beginning to fade, he stormed off in search of the Kirin he had just left.  And all the while he disregarded Fluttershy's cries to 'talk his decision over.'
> He broke my roof
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what you're tellin' me is, Equestria still has no first amendment?" William questioned Twilight as the 2 of them stood just outside her castle. In the days after his journey all the way to the Kirin village, he had taken to just kicking back and relaxing. For some odd reason, he just felt drained after his trip there. And he hadn't the slightest idea why. Currently, he, and the alicorn beside him were watching Spike learn how to fly. Much to William's sadistic amusement, he was failing, badly. Time and time again, he went plummeting to the ground. All this time, he couldn't help but feel a little bad for the dragon, after all. He himself had tried flying before, and absolutely loved it. Spike had likely not had the benefit of learning how to use his wings over the course of several months in lucid dreams after all.

"Well, no-" She was interrupted by a wave from Spike, "You're doing great!" She called out. He had begun this discussion/debate about Equstrian vs. American law just 15 minutes earlier. Though he, as usual, had grown more and more impatient as Twilight repeatedly explained things he already knew far, far to much about. He ran his fingers across the barrel of his rifle, pulling the bolt halfway open to see the 5.56 round waiting inside. Well, that was all good and all, at least until Spike came barreling down on William. Crash-landing dead center of his helmet. William rubbed his temples, and looked down at the form of the crumbling dragon that lay before him. He was about to say something, but, instead, he just gave him the finger and walked away.

"Morin' Joey." William waved to his friend as he turned onto his home street. It was still odd, calling a place in a world like, well... this, home. But he did it nonetheless, and damn did he ever enjoy it. "Morning William. So, how's Spike doing so far?" William shrugged. "Scratched the paint on my helmet. Crash-landed right on top of me." Joey winced, "Yowch, he ok?" William scowled. "Oh, so you're asking about the dragon, but not me?" The alicorn stallion rolled his eyes, "I'm more worried about your victims than you." He chuckled, " Go figure. Well, I'm off to turn in early." 

"What do you mean by that? You're going back to bed, at 10:30 in the morning?" William picked up his pace, passing Joey. "No, of course not. I'm gonna make myself a bowl of rock salt and karaoke Sabaton!" This response wasn't entirely unexpected, William was well known for his... unusual hobbies, but this was definitely pushing his ego. And the limits of his friends sanity. "Ok... have fun with that, I'm got  somewhere to be." He turned away, and trotted off. William was all but satisfied. " Don't get killed!" His statement earned him more looks of confusion and dismay from the passerby's. As he got to his doorstep, he swung around and gave the crowd a thumbs up, before diving back into his house, and slamming the door behind him. A few minutes later, a faint rumbling that Joey recognized as William's favorite type of music began emanating from his bedroom. Followed by a malicious laugh. " And the doctor's said he's perfectly sane." He murmured to himself as flew by his house.

"Ah damnit!!!' William cursed as something impacted his rooftop. Whatever it was, it was big. In a fury of rage, he threw off his headphones, racked the action of his M4A1, and  climbed out of his window, and up onto the roof.  He was met by a rather large, and overweigh dragon. "Aghhh..." The creature groaned as it got to it's claws." Hey there-uh, what are you?" William frowned and pushed his rifle stock up against his shoulder, training the holographic recital on it's skull. "You crashed into myhouse, apologize, or I put a bullet in your brain." Would have been more patient had it been a griffon or a pegasus or hell, even an alien. But he had very little respect for dragons. And this one didn't look all to trustworthy. Not wanting to die, the dragon raised his front claws, " I'm sorry." William nodded, 'Alright, that's good enough, now, get off the roof. GENTLY!!!" He waved his right hand off to the side, but still kept the gun trained on the dragon. "Ok, ok, just, don't kill me!" He groaned in frustration as the dragon climbed off the roof, knocking part of the gutter off as he dropped.

"Why world, why?" William rubbed the brim of his helmet, and climbed off the roof, jumping the last 5 feet. " Can y'all not break my stuff for like... 5 seconds?" William groaned again, and walked past the dragon to his broken gutter. He looked up at the wall, thinking about how painful it would be for him to fix it all. "Well, you're down now. State your name and business." He asked the dragon, who was dusting himself off. "Name's Sledge." William shrugged, " Why are you here. And why in the name of all that I hold dear did you crash into my house?!" He began to stutter, "Uh... I don't have to explain myself to you-" He hefted his rifle, " Equestrian law doesn't require me to read you the Miranda rights. You're comin' with me." 

He grabbed the dragon by the foreleg, and began to pull him along. "Hey, stop resisting!" The dragon mad a vain attempt to get away from the human dragging him along. William, sensing this, turned and smacked the dragon square in the jaw with a cattle prod, and spartan kicked him him the back. "Get your sorry ass off the ground! You're damn lucky I haven't shot you yet!" William pulled him back up and escorted him all the way to Twilight's castle. 

"Uh, William, what happened? And why are you holding that dragon hostage?" Spike and Ember questioned him as he stood in the castles doorway. "####er crashed into my roof, started acting difficult. He's your problem now." He gave him one final kick to the back, sending him the rest of the way in, then spun around and jogged off towards his house. 
"So, what's with the dragon?" 
"Cannonballed right into my roof. Then tore off my gutter,  Wouldn't give an explanation for him being here. Or for why he was flying over my house." William responded as the 2 friends looked up at his house, William was anything but calm. And he was dreading repairs, but still, he had made it quite clear that he would be the one to fix it. And that he didn't trust anypony when it came to that. Well, anypony except Joey. But only because it was a pain to pull the gutter back into place, and Joey had both a horn and wings. " And I take it you want my help?" William nodded again, "Yes, Just levitate it back into place, I'll tighten it down.  His friend sighed, and lit his horn.

"You know, you shouldn't be so aggressive with newcomers." William rolled his eyes as he stood perched on the edge of a ladder, with his friend flying next to him. " I know, just don't care. Besides, I had a bad feeling about that guy, I have would have had no trouble with him had he not damaged my property, hen lied to me." He finished screwing the final bolt in as he said it. And gave the gutter lien a firm shake, ensuring it was firmly secured. "Alright, that's done, now for the roof.." The 2 of them looked up in dismay at the still smoldering crater. "How does stuff like this still happen? I thought Equestria was supposed to be getting safer." William clenched his fist, and got to work.
> Burn it to the ground: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thanks!" William waved to Derpy as she flew away. She had just dropped off the mail. and William, being, well... William, was more than happy to say hello to the towns resident... 'special' mail pony. It was still a mystery as to how she had ever acquired that job but hey, it's not like he cared. With a smile on his face he turned back around to head inside, when he was met by the exact opposite of what he was wishing for, Cozy Glow, that little diabolical  abomination. She always seemed to have an ere of distrust and suspicion around her. Be it whenever he  passed her on the street, or came across her on school ground, he just couldn't shake the feeling that she was up to something. Uncomfortably, he tipped his helmet. "Take these to Twilight's office." He said it with no emotion, turning the other way, and walking as fast as he could. However, as soon as the door's swung closed behind him, he made a run for them and slowly pushed them aside, and began to creep down the hallway, stalking her. " C'mon, I know you're up to something. Just give me a hint, one damn hint."

"Uh, hello, sir?" He froze in place when he heard a meek, squeaky voice. It sounded a bit like Fluttershy, irritated that he had to turn his attention away from the devilish pegasi just 20 feet ahead of him. He spun, to find yet another small pink pegasi, this time with a rainbow colored mane. The whole scene was so absurd that he nearly burst out laughing, but managed to reduce it down to a snort by the time it left his mouth. "Sorry, you just surprised me, uh... what do you need?"  The filly shuffled her hooves and pulled out a map, "I'm looking for my first class." William threw a thumb over his shoulder, "Down that hall." She nodded and galloped off, William breathed a sigh of relief and continued his 'passive' pursuit  of the other pink pegasus. 

"There you are." He stopped to rub his eyes as he sat on a bench next to Twilight's office. Momentarily peering through the doorway just in time to watch her deliver a stack of letters. Twilight immediately proceeded to panic. "I'm late for the field trip to Cloudsdale." William raised an eyebrow, "Why was I not invited?" He wondered, " I love Cloudsdale, It's a literal city in the clouds. These Equestrians don't realize how good they have it." Shaking his head, he shifted to get a better view into the office. "Don't worry, I asked professor Rainbow Dash to cover for you."  William shook his head, and left. " Screw this, I'm going to Cloudsdale. Joey!" He jumped out a window, sprinted through meadow, jumped over a small stream, and headed into town.
"Yes William? Why does it look like you're about to pass out?"
"Sprinted a quarter mile, we go to Cloudsdale."

His friend smirked, "That city made of clouds?" William nodded, "Yes. Turns out there's another way to walk on clouds other than having me grow hooves and wings every time I want to." he spun around, " I'm gonna call up a balloon, ok?" Joey stood there, taping his right hoof on the ground, "What were you doing at the school of friendship earlier?" he questioned as the 2 of them headed for the nearest balloon station, what with Joey not wanting to waste the magical energy to turn William into a pony and back again, and with William just wanting to go up there as a human for once. Not that he didn't enjoy being a pony, he certainty did. It's just that he preferred to save it for special occasions. 

"I'm sorry, is that a...  factory, spewing out rainbows?" William and Joey both scratched their heads, they were currently standing on a cloud which Starlight had cast a spell on, allowing William to walk around on it just like a pegasus." It feel's odd walking around on this thing in combat boots. "William told Joey," Strange, but not uncomfortable." He groaned and shook his head, " Let me make something abundantly clear. The laws of physics and reality as we know it do not apply to a world filled with colorful talking equine, so called 'magic', physical manifestations of emotions, or... whatever the #### this is." He waved a hand back at the cloud which was spewing rainbows from it. He sighed again, cracking his knuckles, her turned around just in time to catch sight of a certain yak slipping through the clouds. " Joey," He clicked his tongue, "Now, please and thank you." He nodded, and, using both his horn and wings, pulled her back up. William didn't think much of it at first, then Starlight spoke up. 

"I don't understand, it's like my spell just stopped working. That's never happened before." William groaned, "Go figure it out on your own, contact me as soon as possible if the answer warrants my curiosity." The group watched in confusion as William began to walk towards the edge, "Uh, William-" He jumped off it, and a moment later, a parachute blossomed into existence. "Joey! Get the balloon!" His friend turned and shrugged to the class, "Sorry, psychopathy calls."
"I heard that! Now quickly!" Hi friend bit his lip and took off after him.

"So, what are your thought's on it?" William questioned Joey as the 2 of them walked back down the street from the balloon depot. And considering that William had to hike the last several miles from Cloudsdale on foot, he wasn't exactly what you would call, 'happy'.  And, having already lost his patience, he turned and headed straight for the school. His friend rushing to catch up with him. " Hey, William! Where are you going?" This statement was met by an insane laugh from William, "Starlight promised me something, I intend to follow through with it!"

"Aghhh!!! William's approach to the school was met by a shrill scream from within. He rolled his eyes, raised his rifle, and jumped into Twilight's office through a window. "What happened!? Who screamed?" The six, Spike, Starlight Glimmer, and Cozy Glow all turned to look at William. "A letter got stuck in my throat." Spike responded, William scratched his head, "Imma pretend I didn't hear that."  He looked over at Starlight, "What's new?"

"Quite a bit actually-" She was stopped by a traumatized Rarity, "My magic is gone!" He furrowed his brow just as Joey climbed in through the window behind him, "Holy haystacks William, when did you get that fast?" William shrugged, "What do you mean? I was jogging. Check your eyes." He turned back to Twilight, "Well?" He held up his hands, "Read the damn letter!" Spike unfurled it, "It's from Princess Celestia! We've all been called to an emergency meeting!" William groaned, and looked at his watch, "Even me?" Spike paused a moment, and nodded. "Right well then, we got to Canterlot!" He spun around, and marched out the door.

"Princess.' William nodded.
"William." Celestia returned his gesture, then turned to the rest of them, "Throughout our city, ponies have been reporting tales of their magic failing. Spell's going wrong, potions not working." William looked over at Luna, "even raising the moon had become difficult. Are there similar troubles in Ponyville?"William chuckled, "Yes there are. Same thing's you're talking about. Behind him he heard the main doors be thrown in, and a few seconds later a brown and red pegasus came flying in with a mailbag over his shoulder. "Letter for the princesses, from Starswirl the bearded." Spike grabbed it and ferried it over to Celestia, who read it. "Oh, it is even more terrible than we feared, magic is disappearing all across Equestria." William sighed, "Then why had neither I nor Joey experienced it? I can still do this," He snapped a .50 AE Desert Eagle into existence for a moment, " And Joey, well, he can still has all the benefits that come with being an alicorn." He looked back up at Celestia, "Continue."

"Starswirl believes the power will drain from our lands in 3 days-" William stopped her, "Why the hell is this happening, and who do I kill to stop it?" he clutched his rifle aggressively, this was a scenario that he had thought of many, many time's before.  But now that it was really happening, he had, at the very least, not been caught unprepared. Unlike the others that is, who seemed to be in a state of silent panic. Celestia face hoofed, "No William, for the love of all that is good, please do not go on another killing spree!" He fought back a laugh. " I have 2 theories, either Tirek escaped or...." He trailed off, thinking it best to not reveal it. "And what else?" Twilight asked, "Nothing. It's nothing." He responded.  "You know, now that I'm thinking about it, let's give Tartarus a check." He looked back at the six, who gave him a few nods. "Tartarus has changed since you were there, it now holds many dangerous creatures. And you won't be able to rely on your magic." William laughed, " Don't need it. Least not the kind of magic you're thinkin' of."

"Are you sure about that William?" The tone in Luna's voice was much less one of sarcasm but rather one of concern. "Yep." He replied, rubbing his knuckles. " Alright then, we go to equestrian hell!" The entire court turned to stare at him. "No, I ain't over confident. And besides, I'm at least 60 percent sure that it wasn't Tirek's fault. Probably."

The group of 8 trekked their way down a stony patch surrounded on all sides by dead trees and dark cliffs. The sky, unlike most of Equstria, was actually, much to William's satisfaction, cloudy. The flies were not ideal. " Agh! I have had it with these horrible flies." William burst out laughing through his mosquito net, "Hah! Y'all never been to the mountains of Morro Bay before! Damn demon flies chased my family for like 20 miles, even when we got on the freeway, those ####er's somehow kept up!" He breathed in, " Don't complain." He looked back at Joey, who was still using his magic just fine, "Joey, be a good stallion and solve our fly problem." He rolled his eyes and lit his horn, a few moment's later, they were gone. " Uh, who packed green cupcakes?" Pinkie asked, pulling a moldy cupcake from a saddlebag. The sheer sight of that awful thing made William  gag, "Gah! Get rid of it!" He reached over with a gloved hand, snatched it out of the earth pony's hoof, and threw it into the bushes.  "Better." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pouch of beef jerky, and began snacking away. Much to the dismay of everypony else there. "Mfff, what do you want? Oh, my food? You wouldn't like it." He left it at that, and picked up his pace, trying to get ahead of the group, Applejack in particular.  Just as he did, a bolt of lightning cracked across the sky, and it started raining. The rest of the group ran for cover, William kept on walking. "I love this weather." He let his rifle fall to a sling around his waist, put his hands in his pockets. And began humming Pumped Up Kicks as he walked down the comparatively dreary path. 

"Well, this looks promising." He stopped at a massive gate, etched with red stone, with a metallic lattice at it's center. And surrounded by volcanic vents. " Twilight, how do I throw open the gates of hell?" She scowled at him, " Anypony have anything useful?" They rummaged through their bags, until at last, spike pulled something out, " How about this?" Twilight's mood brightened. " The Key of Unfetered entrance! Spike, where did you find this?"

"In your bag, Cozy Glow must have packed it for you. She really did think of everything!" William was unimpressed, "The hell does it do?" He folded his hands, confused as to how he hadn't yet heard of this thing before. " It can magically open any door, and since artifacts like this haven't lost power yet-" She moved to insert the artifact into the notch in the doorway, but William stopped her. "Hold on. we don't know what's on the other side of that thing, just a moment." He snapped his fingers, and in an instant he was once again over from head to toe in a mixture of hard and soft  Kevlar plates and a MOP level 5 Nomex hazmat suit. A ventilator and full face ballistic helmet covered his head, and his face was obscured by the dark bulletproof glass of the visor. In his hands rested his weapon of choice, a Sig Sauer MG 68 light machine gun, topped with a computer assisted thermal optic. An last but not least, a bayonet should he have to get, 'up close and personal'. "Alright, now I'm ready. You may open the gate." He stepped back, and brought the LMG to his shoulder. William watched anxiously as Twilight inserted it, the lock lit up, twisted, and the massive gates swung open. As soon as Twilight went to reach for the key, it shattered. "I guess it only works once." William stepped forward, stared into the inky black abyss of a moment, and only after pulling a set of night vision goggles over his visor, plunged into the darkness. And the other 7 followed closely.

"What in the, Ahhh!!!" William screamed as soon as his NVG's met the dark, before him stood a rather nasty dragon-chicken thing with glowing eyes. "It's a cockatrice. Y'all best look away. Thankfully, William's goggles seemed to negate the effects of the devil chicken, so he raised his gun and fired. Realizing immediately that he had forgotten to screw a suppressor on, which he swiftly did. The creature dropped dead in it's cage, and the glow faded from it's eyes. Then he looked up and saw the hundreds of abominations they sat in cages around him. "Holy ####." He waved his LMG around at them. "Now, where's the Tirek?" His voice trailed off as he was met by a massive 3 headed dog. " Hmmm..." He just stood there, debating weather or not to try and fight the massive growling freak of nature in front of him. He spun around, took 5 paces back, and brought an rpg 26 to bare. He began whispering to Twilight "You have 30 seconds to calm this thing down before I ctrl+alt delete this thing." William murmured it as calmly as possible. Fluttershy flew forward, and, after a quick talk with 'Cerberus', got him to move aside. William just shrugged, and  walked on.

"The princess of friendship here for a visit." A voice rasped, A dark figure with glowing eyes turned to face the group. "Yep, that's him. Hello abomination." He came into the light, "Wait, who are you?" William froze, and facepalmed, " that's classified." Tirek scratched his chin, " Well, what have I done to ern the honor of your company?" William rushed forward, "There is no honor, I'll get right to the point. Magic's been disappearing all across Equestria and-" He stopped again and looked up and down at the shriveled form of Tirek. "it wasn't you." he said it with complete confidence. He turned and looked back at the distant entrance. " Wait a minute- Cozy Glow-" Though his helmet obscured his facial expression, the color from his face began to drain. "Oh ####, I've got to get back to Ponyville!"  He turned and ran for the exit, leaving the 7 behind with one very confused Tirek.
> Burn it to the ground: Part 2 (Season Finale)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Previously on My Little P-"

"Gah! Why does this keep happening!? GET OUT OF MY ####ING HEAD!!!"

"Uh, William, who are you screaming at?" Joey asked William with concern as he ran. He blinked, "Oh, sorry. Anyway, back to breaking out of Tartarus." He kept running, completely disregarding to the 6's cries for him to stop and reconsider his method. He came to a stop at the base of the massive gate, and began plating blasting explosives around it. Within the span of 5 minutes, he had fully wired everything together, 6 industrial grade shaped charges, 15 pounds each. Eagerly, he jogged back about 200 feet, stopping only to take a quick breather. "Y'all are going to want to get behind something solid!" He informed them. Joey agreed, and the 8 creatures huddled up behind a large boulder. William pulled out a detonator, flipped the safety off. And gently gave the trigger a tap. The resulting blast was the largest William, or any of the ponies there had ever experienced. The whole cave shook, and they all clasped their hooves over their ears in pain. An instant later, it was all over. William could hear barking and screeching from the hundreds of other caged creatures in the cavern, all riled up from the explosion. To his satisfaction, every creature within 100 feet of ground zero had been all but eviscerated. Other's cried out in pain from shrapnel wounds and lay dying in their cages. He had no pity for them, after all, they where in Tartarus for a reason.  

"Well, what are you waiting for? Move out!" William sprinted for the exit, and a moment later the armor clad form of William emerged from the smoking crater that was once the entrance to that damned cave. The coughing and sputtering ponies stubbled out behind him. "You could have told us to cover our ears first!" Rainbow explained, " Wasn't thinking about it then.  C'mon!" He pulled off his helmet, and swapped out the heavy doomsday armor for a far lighter multicam kit. With the same amount of gusto as before, made off back up the long and winding pathway at a steady march.

"Should we be worried he's to excited about this?" Twilight questioned, Joey rolled his eyes. I think it's best we stay out of his way. You can't even use your horn's right now!" They all followed after him.

"And here it is!" William swung the door to his house open, letting the six and Joey inside. "It's... nice..." Twilight's voice trailed off, "Is everything you own this ugly?" Rarity asked in disgust. "Shut your damn mouth, I love this stuff." They followed him upstairs, past his locked bedroom, past the scratches on the wall from his skirmish with the E.S.F. All the way to a lone door at the end of the hallway, he reached down, and twisted the handle, swinging it open with a creak. "Behold, my... research."

"Uh, pardon me for asking, but why do you have all this?" Applejack mused, William spun around and snapped his finger, "Good question! I need some way to pass the time in this town. That, and other reasons..." He raised his head higher, and walked over to a bull pin board," Here it is, all the evidence I have that Cozy way up to something malicious. "How- why do you have this?" William chuckled, tapping his fingers on the desk below, "It's my obsession, what else to I have to say?"

"Well..." William cut the group off, and put both hands on the wall, " From the moment I met her, I knew she was up to something, I just had a gut feeling. I just never shared it with any of you 'till now, because I never had any solid evidence. We best be getting back to the school. Now." He turned to rush out the door, but Twilight stopped him. " You never fail to surprise me. " He ignored her, and stormed out of the house. Making sure that all of them were accounted for before he locked the door. He didn't want them in there a second longer than he had to. He rushed across town just as the sun set. Realizing that this would mean the dawn of the 3rd day, he ran even faster.

"Quiet Kid! Open the door!" He yelled out, banging on the front entrance of the school. When no response was given, he did the only logical thing a person in his position would do. Kick the door in and put that damned filly out of her mortal misery. "In the immortal words of one Ace Ventura; ALL RIGTHY THEN!!!" He brought back his foot, and spartan kicked the door dead center, unfortunately for him, it had already been open and unlocked.  So instead of breaching the door and barging in like a true operator, he stumbled before a crowd of ponies and hit the ground face first. "Aghhh, ####!!!" He screamed, and got back up, instinctively, the crowd moved away from him. Angered, he jumped to his feet, only to find himself face to face with none other than chancellor Naysay himself. "You!!!" He lunged at the chancellor, grabbing him by the robe collar and pinning him to the ground. He put his left hand on his sidearm, slinging the rifle over his shoulder as he did. "Tell me where Cozy Glow is, now!" He stuttered.

"Help, somepony, anypony, help!!" William growled at this, "None of you move! Unless you want a pair of taser probes imbedded in your fur!!!" They took William's advice, and moved back further, "Now, where is she!? And don't play dumb with me you piece of ####, I'm in a very bad mood!" The Naysay tied to struggle away, and got a hard knuckle glove to the stomach in turn. Not giving him any time to breath, he pressed on, "Tell me!!!"  He winced.

"Uh, we can talk about this like civilized creatures, ri-"He screamed in pain when a rubber bullet met his stomach at point blank range. "Can it asshole, I know you're in league with her!" William kicked him again. "You're helping her take Equesria's magic, ain't ya!?"

"Wait, what?" The tone in his voice was one of complete and utter confusion, despite the fact that William had beaten him near unconscious. "What are you talking about?" William shook his head, "Damnit, well. I don't regret this." he turned to Twilight and her friends who were just beginning to make their way through the doors. "You 6 keep him restrained, I'm goin' after Cozy." They looked at him as though he was insane, but decided that rendering aid to the traitorous chancellor that was lying on the ground was more important that trying to stop William. Something they knew full well they couldn't achieve in their current state.

William stomped his way down the long dark hallways of the school. Clearing the rooms one by one, at last. He came to the library. There he found an open grate leading to those same caverns which he had escaped from a few weeks prior. The sight of it still sent shivers down his spine. Regardless of how he felt about it, he knew he still had a job to do. So he pressed on, and descended down the crystalline stairway.  He was coursing with adrenaline at this point. And was almost hoping that Cozy would try and put up a fight. Not that he himself wanted to get hurt, but simply because he hadn't quite scratched his violence itch for the day.

"Where are you, my little pony?" He asked in a sadistic tone as his boot's made contact with the ground. He was now going purely offence. He had one goal, hunt down Cozy and... remove her from the equation.  He turned the corner to find a massive glowing symbol inscribed onto the ground.  Floating in various positions in the air above where various artifacts from the the scavenger hunt a few months back. The one Discord had ruined oh so abruptly. William still held a grudge against him for that.  There, in the center of it all, Was none other than Starlight Glimmer. Who also seemed to be a part of whatever spell Cozy was attempting, and an unwilling one at that. 

"Heh, no so tough without your magic, are you now?" And then he spotted her, Cozy Glow.  She was standing on the far side of the room with a wicked smile stretched across her face. Without a second thought, he propped up against the nearest wall, and set his M4's holographic reticle right in between her eyes. But as he moved to pull the trigger, he hesitated. "Wait, she's still a pony, and a pegasus at that. Sociopath or not. I can't just kill her."  He sighed, but still kept his gun on her. "Hooves where I can see 'em!" Her head instantly swiveled around, trying to determine where the shout had come from. "William? W- why are you here?" The tone in her voice seemed to indicate that she hadn't been expecting him. Even with all the racket goin on upstairs.

"I'm here to put A stop to your bull####ery! Now, walk towards the entrance, slowly!" The filly hesitated. For a moment, laughed, and walked back into the shadows. "Ah screw it." He murmured, taking aim at her right fore hoof in an attempt to immobilize her. But by the time he had gotten his gun on target, a massive glowing  appendage shot out from the sphere holding Starlight. William was quicker, he pulled a 40 mm grenade launcher from his... hehem, 'rear cargo pocket.' And put an HE (High Explosive) Shell right dead enter on target. Filling the enclosed space with a cacophony of light and noise. He  was more than appreciative of his headset and specially designed shatterproof goggles designed to nullify the effects of flashbangs. The magical appendage was gone, so William jumped out from behind the corner and went after Cozy Glow. 

As he passed the spell lattice, it once again tried to grab him. Luckily, he fought it off with a few passing swings of a bayonet and half a mag of hollow point ammunition from his rifle. He rounded another corner and sprinted a good 150 feet down a long hallway. Following the smaller than average hoof steps. " Don't run! It means less time for me to get through the Miranda rights!" He snickered at his own joke. But still kept the majority of his brain on the task at hand.  He came to a stop at a small ray of moonlight shinning through a crack. Cozy glow had hopped through it, hopping that William couldn't follow. She had seriously underestimated both the structural integrity of the wall. And William's leg strength.

In complete silence he smashed his way through the crumbling rock wall. And out into the open air, he was at the base of a hill, over looking a wide open meadow. He could see the treeline of a forest just beyond it. He spotted her running through the middle of the field, unaware that he had caught up to her. "A moving target at nearly 250 yards out. At night. Oh ####." He tried cheering himself up with the common sniper saying: "What do you feel when you pull the trigger?"

"Recoil."

He smiled at the prospect of reminiscing about earth for a brief moment, then turned his attention back to Cozy. He swapped his infantry rifle for a Daniel Defense Mk 5 marksmen rifle. He let out a breath as he loaded a magazine filled with 6.5 Creedmoor rubber bullets. And breathed in again as he chambered a round. he looked down the night vision optic he had mounted to it, aimed it at he center mass. And pulled the trigger, a single gunshot echoed out across the hills and trees. He missed, quickly, he chambered another round. And dropped Cozy Glow where she stood. Screaming and crying in agony. "Gotcha." William went back to his M4 and approached the downed pegasus, maglight active. As he made it to her, he dropped down on one knee and e snapped a pair of high carbon steel handcuffs on over both her set's of  hooves. Making sure to adjust them so they wouldn't slip off. 

As he did this. A massive blast of multicolored energy pulsed out of the mountainside. William covered his face as the wave of magic passed over to him. And all in an instant, it was over. "Those idiot's must've figured out a way to stop the spell." He went back to the wounded filly, and saw that he had struck her right between the wings.  "Get up." He grabbed the filly, and began to carry her back towards the school. He could hear cheering in the distance. But was distracted once more as she tried to struggle out of his grasp. "You ruined everything!" She cried out again and again. He held her firmly, " mess with the Quiet Kid, you get the rifle." He laughed. 

"You aren't even that quiet!" She responded. This time around, he was silent. He was all the way around the hill, through another meadow,  a patch of trees, and at last, the school courtyard.  Where stood the 6, the school's students, Joey, the royal sisters. And last but not least, a very, very badly broken chancellor Naysay and a company of royal guardsponies. Even Nightshine and her E.S.F squadmates  were there.  All eye's followed him as he slowly walked through the court yard. He stopped at it's very center, right in front of the fountain.  He looked over at the princesses, "I trust you know what to do with this?" Celestia nodded. "Thank you once again William. " She turned to Cozy, and said a few things to her that she would normally never utter in public. Before handing, or rather... hoofing her off the other royal guardsponies, her walked her away.   He turned back to the crowd, and nodded. " You are welcome, please, don't applaud me. I just want to know one thing. Who got you back your magic? The young 6 began to step forward, but William stopped them.  "Of course it was you. Well, credit where credit's due." He approached them and gave each of their dominant claw/ talon's/ hooves a nice firm shake. He spun back around again, and looked up at the night sky. "Hey, William, nice job catching Cozy." He looked down to find Joey with a look of approval on his face. 

"I can't tell you how good it felt to shoot her." He smiled behind his balaclava. "And no, that didn't come out wrong. C'mon, let's go grab something to eat." He looked back at the young 6, and the E.S.F. "Well, what are y'all waiting for. You're all invited!" 

"Oh, victory party!" Pinkie cried out. "No, not for you 6. Don't you dare intrude on us." He waved his hand, and walked off into the moonlight, surrounded, at least for now, by allies. As he did, he could  practically hear Capt. Price's voice say. 

"Mission accomplished." It was either that, or the fact that he had begun humming Pumped Up Kicks again, much to the delight of himself, and to the dismay of those around him.

"Sicut Vult." As he will's it.
> A New Contender: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William sat where he usually did in the morning. His brown couch, sipping a cup of coffee while fiddling with the internal components of a Nighthawk .44 revolver. Now, as it happens, he had actually never used a Nighthawk .44 up until now.  But it was unloaded, and with the recent drop in, well... pretty much all violence in Equestria in the week since his, 'apprehension.' Of Cozy Glow, and the dawn of summer across the lands of Equestria, he had thought it prudent to invest in a slightly less dangerous hobby. Well, so long as it was unloaded, which it was. Currently, he was busy trying to manually mount a red dot sight to the rail along the top. "Fit damnit!" He pulled a tad bit harder, and rather than seating firmly onto the rail, it instead snapped the bracing clean off. With his usual amount of anger and displeasure, he tossed the gun over his shoulder. Smiling once again as it disappeared before it hit the ground. " Never get's old. Does it?" 

William swiveled his head around, and looked out his back window. Which he had oh so intelligently replaced with bullet and shatterproof Lexan glass  after several... 'incidents.'  Most notable being the time a cryptid tried to snatch him up for a snack. He ended the abomination a few minutes later with an anti tank warhead fired from a quarter mile away. "Ah, good times." It was Joey at the window, a former human turned alicorn and one of the few ponies William actually trusted. He trusted him because he had been one of his only friends in high school. As it happens, the Quiet Kid, is not exactly a position where you would find many. " Joey, 'least you had the decency to knock first." His friend rolled his eyes, "Good morning to you to William, Celestia's having a meeting with Twilight and the other's about the fate of Equestria. Wanna crash it?" William set his now empty coffee mug down. " Do California politicians hate firearms? Yes! Well... to both of those things."  He stopped to blink, then walked outside. "It's in Canterlot. You wanna fly, or walk?" William had had quite enough of the Equestrian train system. Too many snoopy ponies asking too many questions about him. It gave him both anxiety and a severe case of what he called, " Cut it out before I start humming Pumped Up Kicks." Which usually did the opposite of what William was intending. 

" I'm not walking there. I have neither the patience nor the stamina for that." Joey knew this was a lie, as William had trekked across the entirety of Equestria in just over a week at one point. But he just let it go. " What did you mean by fly?  You want me do turn you into a pony again? For a day trip?" William shook his head, "Not exactly." 
"Balloon ride?" He shook his head again. 

"Seriously- Ow!!!" William climbed right up on his friends back who himself was still trying to process the sheer absurdity of what was going on, "Hi ho Silver!!!" He called out, " Dude, really? You actually want me to fly you all the way there, like this?" His friend yanked his right wing away from William's boot. " You're digging into my shoulder! Also, don't you think you're a little, I don't know, big? To be flying around on me?" William patted his mane, "No, now, off we go!" Joey groaned at the prospect of trying to explain this to the 6, or the princesses, or the royal guard. " Please, don't kick me again." William nodded. Then responded with his usual calm statement of, "Knock me off and I'll blow you out of the ####ing sky."

"Agh! William, what did I say about leaning on my wings!?" William sighed, "Hey, it's either you get annoyed, I I fall off." I can't keep you on, if I can't fly!" He called out as he set his hooves down on the stone pathway leading to the main entrance of the sister's castle. William jumped off, and flexed his legs, " Oh, let's both agree to never do that again."

"Uh, sir? Don't mind me asking, but were you just sitting on your friend?" He looked up at the concerned guardspony. "Yes, yes I was.  Though I won't be doing it ever again. Whatdya say Joey?" 

His friend was in clearly pain, "Deal." The 2 of them took a few seconds to stumble around and regret their decision. After that, they headed into the castle, taking the most direct route possible to the throne room. Leaving the unicorn guardspony to his duties, and with one very strange story to tell to his friends. " Sooo... what were you fiddling with before I knocked on your door?" William frowned behind his balaclava, " Gun. Big gun." He replied, leaving it at that. As was the case 95 percent of the time, he kept his responses vague. It wasn't necessary  to do so for this, it was just a habit of his. An, at least as he was concerned, a very welcome one. 

"So, who you hoofin' the kingdom over to?" William questioned as he threw the massive double door's of the throne room aside. Before him sat the princesses, and the 6. " Well, William. My sister and I are retiring." William sighed, put his hands in his pockets, and sighed again, "An-"
"Breaking news! The royal princesses retiring! I have so many questions!" 

William froze, and glanced over at his left to find none other than Discord. The infuriating draconequus whom William had lost all fondness for after he had endangered his life more than once. " Ask away Discord. I'm leaving." He spun around, and marched out the throne room. "Er, I should go..." Joey galloped off after him.  " Perhaps we should have talked this over with William and his friend before we made the decision to hoof Equestria off to Twilight and her friends." Luna asked her sister.

"Well, he's not a royal, or an alicorn for that matter. And his friend has made it quite clear that he doesn't want anything to do with ruling the kingdom." Celestia replied. "Wait, you're what?" They both looked over at Twilight,  "Oh yes Twilight-" She had already fainted.  "Besides, I wouldn't dare to imagine what would happen if he took over." She added. Luna stared off into space, "Oh, I've been inside his dreams. You have no idea sister." She shuddered. And Celestia dismissed the six. 

" For the last damn time. No, I'm not new here, I don't need a map!" William shooed away a pony on the train deck of Ponyville. Apparently they had started handing out maps to visitors recently. Which would have nice a few years ago.  Now, seeing that he had ran every street and alley in this town at least a hundred times. It was more than a nuisance than anything.  William waved the creature away and went straight for a small lake on the edge of town. He slumped down against the first tree he could find, and dozed off. It may have been 1: 36 in the afternoon. But he was tired nonetheless. Besides, now was about the time something interesting happened. It was just the way this world worked. If he waited patiently, the violence would come to him. Now, he wasn't one for waiting, but considering waiting meant taking a quick nap with only the distant sound of hoofbeats to keep him company. He shut his eyes and was asleep in an instant. 

"Hello, it's me again." A voice called out in through the darkness, it was his own. Yet it sounded just a little bit calmer than usual. William rubbed his forehead and looked down at his feet, but when he looked up he found himself face to face with a mirror. Rather than reflecting his appearance, the image within was cloudy and dark. "This is minorly disturbing. But, ok. I swear to myself it it's a jumpscare-" His voice trailed off as he stared into the mirror. A figure began to take shape, one he recognized with ease at this point. " Oh, it's me." Or rather, it was the pony version of himself. An equestrian alter ego of himself and a welcome one at that. William didn't mind having him around at all, in fact, he loved it. 'Hailstorm,' as he preferred to go by always seemed to brighten his day whenever he got a visit from him. In the past few months visits from him had become all the more frequent.  " you know the drill, can't stay long."
"Eh, fine by me, question. When are you gonna visit me in person?" William asked the figure in the mirror. " I visit you every time you grow hooves." William snapped his fingers, " Eh, it's ok. So, what's the news?" Hailstorm smiled, " You got your wish, call it a hunch, but do you know that old shadow pony, Sombra?" William blinked, and toyed with his vest. " Yes? Well-"
"Here's the point, he's launching an attack on the Crystal Empire. You'd be wise to go and... 'have fun,' as you call it." William returned the smile. " Until next time bud."
" Until next time." The dreamscape faded, and William opened his eyes and pushed himself up off the grass below the tree he had fallen asleep on. Looking down at his watch, it read; 3:08. He rubbed his back and checked the slide of his rifle to ensure it was loaded. Even though her would most likely be swapping his M4 for something more suited to taking down eldritch abominations when he got there. It was always comforting to be able to meet deadly force with deadly force at a moments notice. He sprinted down the hill, trying as hard as he could to ignore the muscle sprain which he had received while doing so.

" William, where are you going?" Joey shouted out as William began to board the northbound train. " Call it a hunch, but I think king Sombra's tryin' to take over the crystal empire again!" His friend was confused, "Wait, who's King Sombra!?" William shook his head from a distance. "Look after my house while I'm gone! And keep Twilight in check!" He was already pulling away from the station as he yelled this out. " And not a word about this to Twilight!" as Joey stood there on the wooden deck dumbfounded, William jumped up from his seat, and made his way down the aisle. Straight to the conductor. " Oh, hey William, wait, did I stamp your ticket-" William set his hand on the grip of his sidearm. " Sir, I'm going to need you to head for the Crystal Empire." Just as he said this a message came trough a slot in the wall. "Uh, we've just received new order's. That area's off limit's." 
" Do it. Now." The unicorn swallowed hard and switched tracks. The train began to head north, and William went back to his cabin. Relaxing his gun hand as he did. " This is gonna be awesome." He couldn't help but grin at the prospect of what he would be facing. " The Quiet Kid say's yous gonna die Sombra." William said it with a laugh, much to the concern of the other passengers. Whom he had just realized would be following him unwillingly into an active warzone. "####, it's Canterlot all over again." he sat down and buried his head in his gloved hands. " Oh sweet me, what am I doing with my life?" He got up and ordered the train to stop, " Alright. Everypony listen! This train is now under my control, we've changed course for an active warzone. Anypony that does not want to get seriously injured or worse should disembark immediately!" To his honest surprise, the actually did as told. Every last pony on the train got off. "Good, now. Full speed ahead!" He moved up to a seat by the front of the train. He wanted to be able to dismount and start shooting as soon as possible. 

"There, there!' William called out, staring out in awe at the collection of enormous crystalline spires that made up the empire. The city itself was located within a oddly temperate valley when compared to the rest of the frigid wasteland around it. A geologists dream come true. The enormous inky black clouds swirling around it and the distant cries and screams were not ideal. At least not for an average equestrian. William was quite literally on the edge of his seat. Watching the carnage from afar. With complete calm he drew an MG 68 and racked it's bolt. At the same time, he swapped his kit out for something a little bit more befitting of urban warfare.  The sun had already began to set, and the ominous black clouds were not ideal. So he made sure to mount a set of quad scope night vision goggles to his helmet. He was about 300 yards from the station, " Stop the train." He whispered to the conductor. At the same time, he yanked the side door open and jumped off, " Want me to wait for you?" William shook his head, "No, leave. This is gonna get ugly." The unicorn nodded blankly, and reversed the train. 

He preformed one final check to ensure his kit was in order, and slung an M32 rotary over his shoulder and stuffed a hatchet into a loop on the back of his vest, " Here goes something." He casually walked towards the besieged city. His pace quickened by a significant margin when an enormous hunk of black crystal went flying over his head.  He ducked into an alleyway, and suffered through a additional 6 attempts at ending him via rock before he made it to the street. He propped up behind a relatively solid looking wall, being sure to keep his gun barrel away from the edge. He peeked out of cover, and saw that the street was empty. He looked the other way, and saw a crystal pony, walking alone. He panicked and ran when he caught sight of William. 

" Fine by me, he jumped out, and began making his way towards the spire at the center of the city. there met first resistance.  A collection of pegasus gurdsponies with green glowing eyes. Not wanting to harm them, he decided it would be better to try and avoid them. A few minutes of sneaking around later, he felt something grab him by the shoulder. He whipped around to find a pony, but not like the rest, this one was wearing armor that clearly said, "Hello there, I'm evil." That, combined with the black wisps coming off it's fur told William that this was most certainly not friendly. He pulled the creature off him and wrestled  with it for a while. " I'm fed up with you piece of ####!" With out another thought William put the LMG to the base of it's skull and fired off a round into it's armored head.  

The 6.8 MM round entered the creatures head, tore through it's brain, ricocheted around his helmet, and came to a stop. Leaving the shadow equines skull looking like demonic swiss cheese. He stepped back and took a second to determine weather the thing he had just shot was a pony, or an abomination.  Upon kicking the corpse, he had his answer.  "Alright." 

He peaked out behind the crystal house he had been sitting behind and waved his gun around, pulling down his night vision goggles as he did. The green glow emitted from the possessed  creatures eyes made it abundantly clear who was a threat and who was not. "Screw stealth, I'm going loud." He ran out into the open and began firing into anything that looked as though it posed a threat. With, to say, was pretty much the entirety of the creatures at the base of the castle.  "Hey, #### you!" He jabbed one with a bayonet. "Hah, I this is awesome!" He yelled it just as a piece of torn up armor flew over his head,  " Oh, Sombra, come out come out wherever you are!" He swapped box magazines, and went for his 40 mike-mike.  

"Hey, mother ####er! I'm calling for you!" He sighed, and looked around at the carnage around him. There was nothing but silence, well... silence and distant screaming from the damage he had caused to the shadow pony's forces. " You piece of ####!!! You better not make me come up there and get you!" A collection of black crystalline spikes shot up from the ground and rushed towards him, which he easily sidestepped. "Damn you coward!"  He ran to the side of the spire, and looked straight up, there, in a window near the very top, was Sombra. " Now just what do you think you're doing?" He asked mockingly. 
"What? I- I can't hear you from down here! Speak louder!!!" The shadow king rolled his eyes. " WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" He called down from the tower.  " Well what do you think!? I'm here to kill you! Of my own accord of course, not because the princesses asked me to!" Just then, a third voice cut through the commotion, " Wait, it that William!? From Canterlot!?" It was Cadence. At first William though she was happy, he was wrong, "Where' Twilight!?" He groaned, "Why does everypony always want he to save the day? I'm standing right here!" He facepalmed, and began to climb the stairwell up to the top. "Oh, please tell me you're not planning on saving us alone!" He screamed out in frustration. "Damnit woman! I am! I'm trying to save you and your husband and your child and your whole goddamn kingdom so will you please just shut the #### up and let me work in peace!?" William roared. He heard a groan of dissatisfaction in the distance, followed by what he assumed was Shinning Armor trying to cheer her up, " Now now sir, there's no need to use such foul language, especially not around children. " How the hell can you even hear me from this distance!?" No response was given, except from what William could clearly identify as evil laughter. "How pathetic, he thinks him laughing will lower my enthusiasm!"

William returned the gesture with his own laugh, Sombra fell silent after he was finished. " Who ya callin' coward now?" He murmured to himself as he climbed the final flight of stairs, and was greeted by yet more of Sombra's possessed minions.  With complete disregard for those around him. He charged into the waiting soldiers. And began shooting and stabbing his way through the hallways. "What took you so long!?" Cadence demanded, all eyes in the room went to William, who was standing min the doorway. Panting for breath, he raised a finger, and pulled up his night vision goggles in the now illuminated room. " Shut up. You made me come up here." He pointed at Sombra, then turned to Shining, " your wife is horrible." he snarled at this statement, " So, wh-" He snapped back to Sombra, and unslung the grenade launcher.

" I'm gonna kill you so dead, you'll be reincarnated into an abortion!!!" He switched off the safety, raised it to his shoulder. And fired.  The detonation completely leveled the throne, and when the dust cleared, Sombra was oddly enough, still there. Albeit, in pain. Not giving him any time to react, William racked another shell and fired again, and again, and again.  3 more HE rounds later he was finally gone. All that was left was a smoking crater and hell of a lot of those black crystals. And of course, as was typical in situations like this, Twilight and her friends showed up, with Joey at their side. "Where's Sombra?" Joey took one good look at the smoking crater that was once the throne, " William took care of him." Twilight sighed, " Really?" There was no enthusiasm in her voice at all. William slowly nodded. "Yep." He emptied the launcher of it's casings, and systematically loaded a half dozen new ones in. As he did, Cadence leaned in close to Twilight, "Is he always this rude?" 
"You have no idea."
"Hey, question. Can I pick out a gift for saving your city?" Cadence groaned.  "Sure. Whatever." She and her family trotted away. And all William could do was grin, and carve another notch into his launcher. " I take it you had fun?" Joey asked nervously. William slowly nodded. "Yes, yes I did. Victory snack?"

Later...

"You know, I still don't trust that thing." He eyed the tree of harmony with suspicion from the edge of  cave as Twilight returned the elements. Just as she turned away, a cluster of dark crystal's emerged form the cavern walls and smashed the tree.  sending the elements flying to the ground. Where they shattered like toys." Sombra. Guess he wasn't so dead after all." William sighed, and drew his sidearm.
> A New Contender: Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, who let Sombra in here?" William asked with sarcasm, and shook his head. Meanwhile Joey and the 6 were completely in shock, the tree of harmony and the elements had just been smashed to pieces. He had just drawn his sidearm, and was now speedily advancing towards Sombra, who was now standing on the remains of the tree, laughing his flank off. Needless to say when he caught sight of William, his enthusiasm faded.  "Oh, it's you. Wait why are you here? I thought you hated them? And besides, you didn't kill me, you only delayed my plans! And you led me rigth to the source of your power!" William didn't respond, he trained the M45A1's Holosun optic on the shadow pony's head and magdumped the contents of the 10 round magazine into Sombra, who screamed and disappeared. William groaned and cursed. " Oh look, he got away, which one of you-"
"It's gone, it's all gone!"
" I don't see the issue here." Twilight and her friends stared at William as though he was insane. " I didn't lead him here, it's not my fault it was completely unguarded. So, have fun with this!" He stopped at the entryway again, and looked back.

"Y'all do realize that it's you kingdom as well? Get your lazy selves out of this cave and out there. To Ponyville!" He sped off through the forest, leaving the 6 to franticly scramble after him. "Wait, William!" Joey called out. William wasn't listening.

The cluster of creatures reached the edge of town, where William immediately realized something was off. "Hmmm, these weren't here last time." He kicked one of the large black crystals jutting up out of the ground, " Well, it seems as though as the the world has gone to ####." Wherever he looked, the townsfolk were all drained of color, with glowing green eyes. " Hey, Joey! Other's! Keep them in check. I've got somewhere else to be." He rushed down the street, made a few turns, and sped onto his street. Where he was relived to find that the crystal's hadn't touched his house, or Joey's for that matter.         " That's a relief. Back to the main problem. Sombra." He spun back 'round and headed back to main street. Where he found the six, preoccupied with a rather angry cluster of plants. " Y'all... deal with that, I'm off to find the ####er that insulted me. Where is he by the way?" There was a flash of light, and the princesses appeared before him. " William, it's not often that we ask things of you. But would you be so gracious as to get King Sombra out of Canterlot?" William sighed heavily, and sat down on a bench, disregarding the chaos around him. " A few weeks ago you were trying to... 'reform me', and now you want my help saving your capital?" She nodded, " I'd ask Twilight. But she's got a lot on her mind right now." She pointed over at the six, who were currently having the gardening adventure of their lives.
" Fine. More fun for me." 
" William, my kingdom and subjects are in danger. How could this possibly be fun?"

William tabbed his foot, and swatted away a thorny vine which had tried to grab him. " I have one request. I need you to teleport me to the base of the mountain. " She nodded, " Try not to break my city to much." He laughed, and pulled a javelin multi purpose launcher from out of thin air. " No promises. Literally." She sighed and ignited her horn.  In a burst of bright light he was gone. Leaving the princesses, Starswirl the Bearded, Joey, and the 6 to contend with the rouge Everfree forest. 

The sky was dark and cloudy over Canterlot, a fuzzy orange haze hung over the horizon, dark crystals jutted out of the ground bellow the castle walls. And it's possessed residents lined the walls. ready to defend their tyrant leader. A soft breeze blew across the city. And a moment later, a missile direct impacted the tower just west of the main gates. Followed by a second one, the HEAT warhead blowing trough the magic reinforced wood like tissue paper. A few minutes passed, then the dim figure of William came walking up the road to the city, Sombra's minions stood silent, and let him approach.  "What am I doing?" William asked himself, racking the bolt of his LMG as he strode through the ruins of the gate and portcullis. Head hung low and light gleaming off the brim of his helmet. " And they told me I couldn't simply walk into Canterlot." He ran his hand along one of the walls, and simultaneously grabbed a possessed Wonderbolt out of the air, and stomped on the wing, he stayed down.  " Anypony else wanna try?" To his expectations, they did indeed want to come after him. It wasn't long before he was surrounded on all sides by hundreds of the cities former residents. Still resisting the urge to gun them down, he tossed a pair of 9-bangers( Flashbangs that detonate 9 times) Out into the crowd and ducked into an alleyway. 

Most would find it quite strange that the cities of Equestria have so many alleyway's.  So much unused space, but in truth, back when the princesses first commissioned it's construction. That was the last thing on their minds. For William now however, as had been the case many times before, it was a blessing for him. He could disappear behind a cluster of houses and pop out a few hundred feet away in a bedroom window. He made his was to the royal castle, completely circumventing the possessed residents in the process.  Climbing through the walls via an access vent, and through the gardens. Hiding behind yet more bushes and perfectly manicured trees to avoid detection. " How is it possible to lose your guard corps within 30 seconds of the invasion?" William was almost angry at the ponies, not only were they incompetent, but they were also a huge liability. One of the few promises he had made to himself was that he wouldn't kill ponies. Everything else was fair game. "Damn you. Damn you all." He cursed as he climbed up a rather conveniently placed ladder and through an open window. And dropped down 5 feet into a deserted hallway. " Dear Celestia, today I learned that your castle is more labyrinth than castle. Please provide me with a map!" He sneered as he walked down the large  corridor. 

It wasn't long before William had found his bearings, and of course, blocking his path into the throne room was a pair of guards. "How do I get them away from there?" He rolled his eyes, then pulled a smoke grenade from his infinite pockets, pulled the pin, and threw it around the corner. The 2 pegasi stood responseless through the whole thing. It silently hissed away, William pounced on them and strangled them to sleep. Which is actually far harder than one would imagine. All creatures, possessed or otherwise, have something built into their brain that makes them react in a certain way when strangled. But aside from a bit of kicking, the takedown went smoothly. He dragged them off to the side, smiled as they snored away for a few moments. Then turned and kicked in the doors." Aghhh!!! Good me! Who designed these things! And what are they made of!?" He flexed his foot. Just as he did he hard Sombra's voice call out from within, " So, the princess sent you instead of Twilight and her friends?"  William shook his head, " Hah! Seriously through. Man, I blew you away the first time back in the Crystal Empire. What makes you so confident now? Oh, by the way, thanks for destroying the tree back there."
" Wait, what? You're... thanking me for it?" William nodded from behind the door, " Yeah. It was quite the nuisance-" 
All at once, the doors were blown in by a pair of well placed C4 charges. Followed by a pair of flashbangs. Disorientating both Sombra and his minions long enough for William to rush inside. Pull an RPG 26 from thin air, and place it right between the shadow pony's overconfident eyes. He screamed for a brief moment, then it was over.

"Well, that was fun."  He watched all around him as black crystals disappeared and crumbled into dust. Slowly but surely, the pony's that had just been under his control struggled to their hooves and walked off. None bothered to ask William what part he had had to play in their liberation.  " Ah, another successful confirmed kill. Never mind- supposed confirmed kill.  Until next time, you piece of egotistical ####." He pulled off his shatterproof goggles and rubbed his eyes. All the motivation and adrenaline  That he had felt was gone now, as he strolled out of the castle and sat down on a bench outside he felt a hoof on his shoulder. William sighed, and let his rifle fall to a sling.  He felt another on his right, " So, how'd it go?" He looked up, it was Joey, with a gleam of suspicion in his eye he looked over at the other pony.  To his surprise, it was Celestia. He blinked, " Uh, what are you 2 doing here? I mean. I expected Joey but... not you." 

He groaned again, and itched a bruise on his leg were one of the pegasi he had strangled.  "I'd just like you to know that you're valued in this world. Even if nopony show's it. And even if you think it's all a game-"
" Ma'am, it's not a game. Never has been and it never will be. I understand full well the consequences of my actions and I go ahead with them anyway. I answer to no creature. Not in this world. Nonetheless, thank you for everything. Free house included. " Joey blinked, "That may have been the nicest thing you've ever said to her. William scratched the back of his head, and pulled off his helmet, "Hmmm." Celestia smiled, " Well, you're welcome. Now, if you don't mind. I have other business to attend to." She got up and trotted away. Leaving the armored human and alicorn alone on the bench. " Victory meal?" Joey nodded. 

"Victory meal." 
"Usual place?"
"Yep." 
The 2 walked off, as they did. They attracted quite a crowd, or at the very least, William received more than a few friendly waves.  "Heh, still don't have that 1st amendment. Damn monarchy." He grinned as he said it, though nopony could see him do it. He didn't like getting praise for his actions, not out of selflessness, but because he hated large crowds, and most of all, he hated goin up in front of big crowds and speaking.  Even if they were comprised entirely of adorable talking equines.
> Two Sociopaths, One Operator, An Alicorn, And a Lot Of Firearms
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" It's my birthday tomorrow." William said to himself with a heavy sigh, he had just left a meeting with the six, his best friend, and the royal's rereading Sombra. William didn't believe he didn't have enough respect for the petty tyrant for him to refer to him as a, 'king'.  He cracked his knuckles and looked up at the clear dome of a sky. Watching a a pegasus passed through his field of vision for a brief moment, before disappearing off somewhere over the horizon. He rubbed his eyes, and kept on walking, stuffing his hands in the pocket's of his multicam pant's as he did. Whistling a tune he was very familiar with, Pumped up Kicks. " What am I going to do tomorrow?" He asked himself as he turned onto his street. There he was confronted by the usual sight of his friend. Outside in his garden this time around. Being an alicorn meant that he had gotten back long before William. They exchanged waves as William unlocked the door of his house and ducked inside. Throwing himself on his couch.  He still hadn't gotten used to the prospect of no tv, or internet connection.

But what he had in turn was infinitely better. Life in Equestia, being constantly surrounded by small talking equines, firearms. And the odd attack on either Ponyville or greater Equestria which always kept him on his toes, the clear air, the night sky. Just to name a few, plus he always had his laptop and the hundreds of songs he had downloaded on it, and his handful bookshelves. Life here was great, sure the residents got on his nerves from time to time. But he felt more confident arguing with them than other equally sized humans. He had always found it funny, such small and typically nice creature's yelling at him. He reached onto his coffee table and grabbed a copy of Tom Clancy's Executive Orders, which he had begun rereading that morning. He kicked his feet up on the table, and pulled off his balaclava. He snatched dup his laptop, logged in, then put on some nice country music. "Burning Man." Was the first song to come on. He thought back to his day's up at Humboldt, all those quiet hikes in the misty redwoods. And having to hide his abilities from the occasional passerby.  

He heard a hoof knock at the door, and knew who it was in an instant. Just as with footsteps, almost everypony he came across had a different beat to his or her hooves. And with enough time, he learned to recognize them. It was Joey. Likely coming over to talk about hi upcoming birthday. He  groaned as he pulled himself up off the couch and wobbled over to the door. He swung it aside. " Come on in." The alicorn nodded, and even had the curtesy to close the door behind him.  "So, what are you planning on doing tomorrow?"
"Well, if Twilight's up for it I'd ask her to take me to earth for a visit to SHOT show. Maybe I'll find some new toys that I actually like." He sighed again as he shut his book and set it back on his coffee table. SHOT show was one of the largest firearm conventions in the continental United States, it was were all the big manufactures unveiled their new products. 

"I know that look, you want me to turn you into a-" William shook his head, "Nah, not tomorrow. I honestly haven't the slightest, again, I really have my hope's on that convention. But's it's probably not gonna happen, I mean, have you seen Twilight? That mare can barely walk down the street nowadays without having  a nervous breakdown!" William laughed. 

"Eh, well, regardless of that. I don't like surprises. But it's my birthday, and this is Equestria, so I'll be sleeping with a gun to my pillow tonight." He stood back up, "You can go now if you want." Joey raised an eyebrow. "Ok then... I'll... see you tomorrow." He awkwardly got up, walked to the door, and left. William scratched his forehead. " What the hell am I doing with my life?" He groaned as he cracked his neck and walked upstairs, locking his bedroom door behind him. A few moment's later, William was asleep. Even though it was the early afternoon. As far as he was concerned. It was never to late to get some sleep in.

" William, William! Get up buddy." He rolled onto his side, and opened his eyes. He was lying in an open grassy meadow. The skies above him were obscured by a low fog. He cracked his neck with a groan as he got to his feet, and looked forward. The meadow as rounded off on all sides by a redwood forest. Of course, he recognized the voice. "Hailstorm? Where's the mirror?" He could hear the loud pattering of hooves from the forest beyond him. " Well, you wanted to meet me in person, correct?" William scratched his head, and swallowed hard, " Uhhh... wait-" The sound grew louder, and a shadowy figure began to take shape in the woods, a pair of brown eyes shone through the fog. And stallion emerged from within. Covered in light... almost tan brown fur, a dark brown mane, a pair of wings. And just underneath the mane, poking up between the hairs, was a small Kirin horn. It was him, 

" Hi there." The creature said with a laugh, "Yep, it's me. Just like you asked-" The pegasus froze when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He stood completely still, looking down at the human. He smiled warmly, and returned the hug with both wings and forelegs, " Do you have any idea how long I've waited to do that?" William asked from behind Hailstorm's head, " 6 year's, 4 months." He responded with a nod, resting his head on the operators shoulder, " I'm you, remember?" William chuckled.

"Yes I do, figment of my imagination." Hailstorm pulled back a bit and looked him in the eyes, " You created me, Equestria's magic made me real, or at least, part way real. I'm still just a part of your imagination, but I'm there whenever you decide to transform." William slumped back on the ground, "Yeah, I figured as much."  Hailstorm winced, and looked over at William's arm, particularly his watch. " It's your birthday tomorrow, right?" William nodded. " Well, I suppose you've gotta go now?"

"No William, not this time. 'Least not this time." His ears swiveled left. William sighed, and drew his sidearm, handing it to the hybrid. " You know the drill buddy. Want an extra magazine?" The pony's smile changed from from one of welcome to one of determination. "I'll take 2. Besides, I brought my own." He unslung a Remington 870 shotgun, chambering a round he did.  " Umm... I really must be going now." They recognized the voice, "Luna, you ruined my moment with myself. "  The 2 looked at each other in understanding, and charged into the treeline. Both laughing like maniacs. A second later, Luna screamed in terror. The 2 burst through the treeline, and stopped, looking down at the traumatized alicorn. " Hey, Luna, thanks for arranging my meeting with him." He pointed over at his equine counterpart.  She blinked, and nodded, " Well, I'm glad you're happy, and..." Her voice trailed off as the tree's behind her began rustling. The 2 sighed, and ran past her.

"Well, that was fun."


William and the pony slumped back against redwood tree as Luna's image disappeared from the dreamscape. They looked at each other, "It's been and a honor and a joy fighting alongside you. Oh, and by the way, happy-" The words left their mouth at the same time. All at once, it all faded away. Leaving William cursing and throwing punches into the empty air above his bed.  "Damnit! I didn't even have time to tell him goodbye!" he sighed, and pulled his head away from the pillow. Staring at the closed curtains keeping the outside world from sight. " Well, I'll take it. Happy birthday to me I guess." William jumped out off bed, threw on his morning BDU's, and, only after taking a brief moment to stare at himself in the mirror. He scratched his head, and headed downstairs for his usual morning cup of coffee and meager breakfast.

" Let's see... yes! Still got some!" William felt around his cabinet, to find that he still had a little bit of his favorite coffee left over cradling the package as though it was the most precious thing in the world. He grabbed what was left of the beef jerky from the cow he had.. umm... 'Legally,' hunted down a few month's ago. With a smile, he set the pre ground coffee to brew,  grabbed a banana and a donut from his fridge, and a glass of water from his kitchen sink, and sat down at his kitchen table. Which he had never used before, seeing that he had never had enough guest's over to warrant it's use. But today, he had decided to use the poor thing. He sat down on the far side,  setting his food on the table, and began tearing away at the food.

"What in the name of-" William jumped up from the table in anger. He could hear yelling coming from the backyard. And quite a few... colorful slurs which he hadn't heard in a long time. He drew his M45A1, slung on his plate carrier and helmet, and crept towards the back door." You ####!!! I'm never trusting you again!!!" The voice was clearly male, though it was one he didn't recognize. As he approached a second voice came into pitch, " Dude, that's a human in there, trust me." William grunted, "Damnit, how did they know that?" His question was answered a second later when he peaked out from behind the wall and looked through the sliding glass door and out into his backyard. From his vantage point he could see 2 humans. Clearly adolescents they were clad head to toe in fighting kit, and arguing with one another. He stayed silent, and kept on listening.  He found himself chuckling at the obscenities' they were slinging back and forth. "Should I introduce myself?" He scratched his helmet. " This seems like a backyard."

"Well how do you know?" 
"Well... there's a barbeque right over there. And- look, over there!" One of them pointed over at the house, right at William, who stayed right where he was. He kept his gun hand out of sight, and holstered his sidearm, exchanging it for a P90. Just then, he saw something that made his blood run cold. One of them suggested they get out their, "Anti anomaly weapons." As absurd as it may have sounded. And almost as soon as they had said that,  Remington 870 shotguns appeared in their hands. Which they kept at low ready. " I don't believe it, other people. With the same power's as me? Screw breakfast, my interest is piqued!" He brought his boot up and racked the slide on his subgun. He set a Kevlar shield in his right hand, and walked out from behind his cover. 

" Mornin', would y'all mind dropin' them shotguns?" he said in his best mock southern accent. They looked at one another, and laughed. 

"Look at this ####er, why should we?" William smiled kindly. " Are you kidding? Listen well you two, you do not wanna get into a gunfight with me. Especially not at this hour."

The whole time he been talking with the 2 miscreants from the safety of his  bulletproof sliding glass door. He took the term, "Your home is your castle." Very seriously, " Why should we listen to you?" The other spoke up. " Hmmm... now that I thing about it... Because you 2 have the demeanor's of teenagers?"  The way they bickered with one another reminded himself a little bit of his first journey to Equestria. " The hell did you just say to us?" William groaned. " Alright, let's try something else; Why are you here?" One of them raised their head's up.

"Well howdy partner!" The 2 responded, William rolled his eyes, their swift change in tone and demeanor worried him a bit, the 2 of them continued, " Nice gun you got there. Uh, question, where are we?" Before he could respond one of them started talking again, " Mind bending over-" He was cut of when his friend slapped him over the helmet. Causing him to groan in annoyance, the one who had slapped him gestured over at the barbeque. "What are you making?" They asked in excitement. William raised an eyebrow, " You're in Equestria. And I'm not currently barbequing anything, though I did a few months back." He slid open the door, and stepped out onto the patio. " And about the gun, thanks' for that compliment. It's been a while since I've seen another human. It's been even longer since some creature complimented me. " He still kept his gun trained on them.  "Name's?"

"I'm Soviet, this over here's Tankery." William nodded, " Alright, you go by alias's, albeit strange one's, that's understandable. My names William. Though sometimes... I go by Hailstorm. Why have you come here?" 


The one who went by Tankery spoke up, " God damnit, now we're stuck in this  pony infested hell!" He stomped the ground as he said it, William grunted, " Hey, I'll have you know that I actually have certain fondness for those little equines, I've even had the pleasure of getting turned into one of them. And besides, this isn't hell. Tartarus is hell, this is just a warzone." The 2 of them backed up. " Wait, did you say you've been turned onto one of those monsters before?" Soviet asked in shock.

" And you... liked it?" Tankery added, genuine surprise filling his voice.

William sighed, and nodded, "Yes, I did. There's nothing quite like flying through the moonlit skies of the Everfee forest with a soft night wind ruffling your feathers and blowing through your fur."  If you're interested, I'll tell you more about it later. Back to the topic at hand, where did you come from? " 

"We kinda got teleported here by accident by a Starlight Swirl. We have no idea where we are." William rubbed his eyes, and set his shield off to the side. " As I said before, you're in Equestria, in the town of Ponyville. In my backyard."

"Well, yes, we know we're in Equestria. We're just unsure weather or not if it's our Equestria. We're confused, and we need to know what, when, and where we landed."  William nodded, " I see, question. Have you any prior knowledge regarding the TV show, My Little Pony?" Soviet blinked, "Well, yes, As a matter of fact, I do. Can't say the same for Tankery over here." William lowered his gun, just a little bit, " Oh, good. That makes everything easier, Well. Twilight's got her castle. King Sombra's back, and the school of friendship's a thing. And yes, I already took care of Cozy Glow. Don't ask about that last thing. And it's summer. Better?" The 2 lowered their gun's in turn,  " Well, thanks for that." 

"At this point in the year it's a damn war crime to not have that barbeque going." Tankery murmured, William folded his arm's, " Well I would, it's not that I don't want to, it's that I don't have anything to grill on it. And don't even think about putting those damned hayburgers on that thing!" He put his hand up and sighed.

" Alright, listen. We'll continue this conversation later. I've got food waiting for me inside. And I haven't eaten yet. If I go inside, do I have your word that you won't break anything? Actually, come on inside. That way I can keep the both of you in my sight." He stepped inside and motioned for them to do the same.

"Well? You coming or not?"

William stood there with his gun by his side as the 2 stepped away to discuss something in private. "Wait, Cozy Glow? Haven't gotten back to that part yet. But Sombra's back?" William nodded, " Well... he decided to show his ugly face up in the Crystal Empire a while ago. But I blew him straight to hell, twice. In turn, he annihilated the tree of harmony. He'll be back, he always will." The 2 looked mildly concerned. " Do Flim and Flam exist here?" William nodded.

"Those retarded unicorn brothers that  wear those striped shirts with the European accents?  Yes they do. Scared 'em ####less few month's ago. C'mon, the food's getting cold. We can talk more inside." The two reluctantly followed him in.

" I just remembered I didn't actually cook anything... Oh well, coffee's ready at least." Cheerfully, he walked over to the coffee maker, and poured the now cold contents of the pot out into his favorite mug. Then spun back around, coming face to face with the pair of disappointed humans. 

" Screw it, I'll get something from the store. " Question, could the Equestrians... I don't know, invent a tank for us-" Tankery paused when William held up his hand. " Don't ever talk about stuff like that in the open, especially not in the presence of ponies. "

"Why?" Soviet asked, reclining back on William's couch.  " I like to keep 'em ignorant. It's as simple as that. Ever heard the term, don't ask, don't tell?" They looked confused, but went along with it anyway.

"Could you direct us to princess Twilight? We'll need to figure out what we can do while we're stuck here." William rolled his head off to one side, and sat down. "Listen here and listen well. There is nothing you can do here. What I can help you with is getting home-"  William froze when he heard a sudden knock at the front door. "Who's that?" William blinked, he almost didn't want to tell them, for fear of what they might do to that uninvited alicorn if he opened that door. " It's a friend." 

"Who exactly?" The both of them asked, William stood up without responding, and walked over to the door. He pulled the door open, and stepped back, "Hey William, happy birthday!" A cheerful alicorn with white fur and a deep blue mane wiped his hooves on the doormat and stepped inside. Much to the bewilderment of  both Soviet and Tankery, who were just now beginning to question William's sanity. " Uh... hi here?" Tankery waved nervously, Joey's gaze turned to the 2 other human's in the room, then back to William " You didn't tell me you were gonna have people over." William grunted, " They're human. what did you think?" Joey did his best to keep smiling, and turned to the 2 other's. "Hi, name's Joey. who are you?"
" "Hi.. uh.. I'm Soviet, this is my associate, Senor El Retardo." Joey rolled his eyes. "Ok. I've been called weirder."

For a few seconds, neither of them said a word, the Soviet spoke up, "And... question, why are you an alicorn? And, why do you have such a human sounding name?" 

" Well, I wasn't always one, used to be a human. That explains my name. Then I got pulled through a magical vortex and dumped into the Equestrian wilderness in the middle of the night.  William found me, we got attacked by a manitcore.  And I woke up a hospital a few hour's later with hooves, wing's and a horn. That's about as far as I'm going to go into my backstory." He paused for a moment, and took a step farther into the house, shutting the door behind him, "It's William's birthday today. that's why I came over."

"I'm... well I was gonna say I was happy, but I've got these 2 to deal with. A the very least they're more tolerant of ponies than Preston was when he showed up." Joey groaned at the mention of that California deputy which they had found wandering aimlessly through the cold snow that winter. Who upon waking up to find a ponified William proceeded to berated the 2, at least until William calmed him down. "So," He clapped his hand's together, "I'm gonna go grab some food, and maybe a cake,  Joey, you watch them." He turned back to Soviet and Tankery, "Don't go breaking  anything 'round here, understand?" they nodded. "Yes- wait, you're leaving us... with him?" Soviet pointed down at Joey, " Yes, I am. don't worry, he's trustworthy." William gave his warbelt a firm tug and headed upstairs for his wallet. " What are your terms on stealing?" Soviet asked with sarcasm. William was not in any way amused. He breathed out another sigh of disapointment and headed upstairs.


His departure a very awkward silence hanging over the living room. Which remained until William came back downstairs, " Stay out of the upstairs portion of the house. And for the last time, don't try anything. I'm not sure weather or not Joey's learned any combat magic, but I've had other's use it on me before. You do not want it used on you." With those mildly threatening words, he left, locking the door behind him. As the door slammed shut, the duo turned to look at Joey. 

"So... this is odd, William normally doesn't leave other's alone in his house."

"Not being human and having wings. What's that like?" Tankery spoke up to break the awkward silence. Joey's ears perked up, "Oh, where do I start?" He scratched his head with his right hoof, " It's amazing, I thought it was a little strange at first, walking on 4 legs and all. But you get used to it after a while. A horn and telekinesis can be even more useful than hands. The wings let you go anywhere you want, any time, and they give you the ability to walk on clouds. The hooves remove the need for you to go scrounging around for shoes ever time you want to go out for a walk. And the fur keep's you warm and comfortable." The 2 blinked, " Did you know that your friend shares the same opinion as you?" Joey chuckled. " After this winter? Indeed I did, I know for a definite fact that he loves flying under his own power. Even if he never talks about it in the open."

" Uh, next question. Were either of you a brony or furry back on earth?  I mean, you both share the same opinions regarding... all of this." Joey scowled, "No! Well, William always seems to have a certain understanding of this world that even I don't. But I wouldn't consider him a brony. I mean, it's not like he obsessed over it. Nor did we ever hear anything regarding it from him.  And he has a deep hatred of furries. I was, and still am, neither."  He said it with the upmost confidence.  And the 2 listened intently as Joey went on and on about his life in Ponyville. 

"Hey, what's this?" Soviet looked at a picture hung on the wall, it was a photo of William in full battle armor, standing over the ruins of Canterlot with a light machine gun in hand. Although they didn't know that. " Heh, sit on down, you're in for quite a tale. One of adventure, joy, perseverance, and violence-"

"Hey, I'm home, and I brought cake! And, other stuff-" The front door swung open, and there stood William, with a paper grocery bag in his hand which made him look like a suburban 9 to 5 dad. As he turned to look into the house, he noticed the photo as well. 

"I was just about to start telling them your story, and how all... this, came to be." William rubbed his eyes and set the bag down on his kitchen countertop.  "It's a long story, but one I'm willing to tell. You want food first?" Their response was unanimous. " Food, We're hungry." 

One very long and repetitive conversation later...

The 2 were speechless as William arrived at the present. "And that brings me to this morning, when I found you." 

Obviously, as was normal with William, he had left a lot of the sensitive stuff out.  Mostly stuff about his alter ego and more... violent excursions. 

"Alrighty, I've given you my backstory. Now here's my question for you. How did you get here?" He asked as he downed another bite of his chocolate birthday cake. No candles, of course. He just wanted the cake.


"As you said, long story, though, it's not quite as yours.  Shouldn't take very long for the both of just to explain it."  William butted his elbow up against the back of the couch. "Go on." Soviet pondered his thoughts  as William asked them, "Well truth be told, we have no idea. All we know is that Starlight from our 'dimension' supposedly made us time travel a few hours back. But somehow brought us here. I can confirm that they didn't know who or what humans are because, Twilight had no idea who or what humans are and asked tons of questions." Soviet explained.  "But anyways, just curious, how old are you both?" Soviet asked, as Tankery and Joey were somehow sneaking past William to get a slice of cake. " I'm 22 as of today, Joey's 21." He paused to take a sip from his water glass.


"Huh, sounds just like mine, well, parts of it at least. I was alone on my first excursion.  And I had to walk for far, far longer than you did. Didn't complain once." Joey flicked his ears, "Sure, sure, that's a lie from you if I ever heard one, which I have.  Not often, bit it has happened."

"Alright, but in all fairness, I was hungry, tired, and on edge for fear that a changeling or griffon or self help me a full grown dragon!" William froze, and turned around to look over at dinning table. Just in time to catch Tankery and Joey. " Well, it's my birthday. Can't eat it all by myself. Go on, help yourselves." They smiled, and practically dove into it out of hunger.  " Glad to see a few enjoy my efforts."
"Yes!" Tankery whispered in silence, all while he took at almost half of the entire cake as Joey looked on in confusion. A heavy sigh left Williams lungs, "That was for everyone."

"You just ate an entire bakery less than two hours ago! What is wrong with you?!"  Soviet cried out, punching his friend in the arm. Much to the annoyance of Joey. 

" I'm sorry, you did what?" 

Tankery franticly nodded as he tore his way through the cake like a bat pony through a mango. " Ah, #### you!!!" Tankery shouted back, his voice muffled by the sound of chewing. " Hey, hey! Stop chewing and listen! You 2 are guests  in my house, so you're going to carry yourselves with some sense of decency, got it?" William found it odd that he had managed to make it trough an entire conversation with a person as rude a this without so much as even setting his hand on his gun holster. But dismissed it. "Oh, I'm sorry." Tankery turned around, William winced at the horrendous sight. " Just finish it! And don't even think about touching the rest! Also, here's a napkin. actually, here's 3." William passed them over to Tankery. " The #### I go through in this world." 

"Can 50. BMG down a dragon?" William thought about if for a moment, " The little ones, yes. But if you're talking about a full grown drake, then the only spot you'd be able to cause any dame to is the eyes. Nothing short of an RPG or Stinger is going through those scales." 

"Fair enough. But back to the IFV plan, we could be the only people in this world that can create the weapons, just not the vehicles. We could bypass the rules of manifesting things by making Flim and Flam make the engine. We'll figure out the hull and the weaponry. It could work." Soviet explained.  "And does Twilight's school of friendship exist here? We could use the labor force on combining the hull, plus me and Tank can make a reason to teach welding and handling equipment while labeling our craft as a tractor." Soviet added in the hope that that would result in a green light from William. Meanwhile, William was standing there with, his jaw practically hit the ground. "Wait, did you- I'm sorry, you're planning on doing what?" The 2 nervously tabbed their fingers.  

" IFV? As in... Infantry Fighting Vehicle? That's your plan?" William got up and paced around his couch.

"Yes." He turned back to them and held up his hand, " Problem is, this world just ain't made for that kind of vehicle . And as much as I'd like to go driving around Ponyville in 20 plus tons of pure democracy blasting Sabaton. It's just not practical, I mean, have you seen the mileage that those things have? Plus, look around, I don't see any gas stations!"

"We're in the world of magic, we could find a substitute for oil with Twilight and Starlight helping us, and it can and will prevent any hostiles from attacking Equestria. So imagine a dragon, we can't kill the thing without RPG's, but what about 25mm of pure freedom sabot rounds? And if we were to engage with the dragon, the armor alone could protect us." Soviet reasoned.  William was unconvinced, " Listen, it's not that I don't want to, it's that I like it when some creature comes along and tries to destroy everything I hold dear. So then I can brutally send them to hell."

"Well how about transportation then? We wouldn't have to walk miles and miles to get to where we're going. From what I heard, you guys spend most of your time walking." William furrowed his brow, " Well, I do. Joey usually just flies."

The only expensive and dangerous tech would be controlled by only us. The Equestrians don't know what they are or how to make it, and I sure as hell know that Flim and Flam are too busy trying to beat Applejack in a contest, and they may not even know about what we're making because it would be too complex for them to handle." Soviet pleaded. William rubbed his eyes, " Listen I know these creatures, I've been around them longer than you have. They'll figure it out eventually. Trust me. If we're gonna do it, it's got to be in secret." The 2 looked at one another, " Alright."  William glanced back at Joey, "I  can trust that you won't tell any of your equestrian friends?" Joey swallowed another bite of cake. " Yep. My loyalty is to you."

"Then let's get started-" William cut Tankery off, " Cake first, APC later."

Tankery then somehow unhinged his jaw and swallowed the huge piece he had on his plate. Everyone in the room was surprised and Soviet had a water gun filled with holy water aimed at Tankery. Tankery with a confused look said with his mouth full, "What?" William looked over at them  in utter confusion, " Where did you get the holy water?" He said slowly.

"With the power of magic, just summoned it, I don't know how, but yes." Soviet answered. William calmly folded his hands, "Yes, how?"

"No idea." Soviet responded. William blinked, " You know what? Y'all are from a different universe. I ain't gonna question it. Why did you draw it on your friend? He possessed ? Or are you just weirded out by the fact that he can open his mouth a little to wide for a 'normal' human?"

"He ####ing unhinged the damn thing!" Soviet replied callously. 

William laughed, " I'm aware of that, sir, have you ever been., or a currently under any form of demonic influence?" Tankery finished his cake.

"No."


William shrugged, " That settles it. Stop trying to apply logic to stuff like this. Magic and the laws of reality are 2 very different things. You don't know the true meaning of 'unhinged,' 'till you've seen a certain pink earth pony's jaw quite literally hit the floor. "  The 2 looked unconvinced.
But William wasn't in a mood to explain any further. " Let's just... go find those damned twins, ok? And make it quick. It's still my birthday." He turned to walk away.

"Well have you seen a raccoon fit in my a-" he was cut off by Soviet, "Yes, I'm guessing Pinkie Pie is some interdimensional cosmic being that should be considered as an SCP." Soviet replied gleefully. 


William growled, " ####ing degenerates. C'mon, let's see if we can get this thing built 'fore the sun goes down. Nice work on the SCP reference by the way." William waved the 2 along. "Hey, Joey, c'mon! I can't lock up until you're out as well!" The alicorn swallowed the rest of his food, and trotted off with them. 


"Open up!" 


William banged on the twins front door. " We need your help with something!"

"And why should we help you?" Came a response. "Because I asked nicely! I- we have a request!" The door cracked open a bit. "Wait... you're the one who threatened to kill us!" The door slammed shut. William banged on it again. "We're paying customers." The door cracked open again. 


"We're listening."
> Because Why Not?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" We need help creating a piece of automotive machinery. An engine."  The twin scratched his head under his hat. " How much?" William scowled. " What do you mean how much?"

"How much are you paying me and my brother?" Soviet popped out from behind him. " Let us inside, we'll talk more then." The door slammed shut again. And the 3 humans turned to look at one another in the evening sun.  While they all seemed to be in a good mood, the twins incompetence was getting on their nerves. William's especially. And the sight of his gloved his hand tapping the hammer of his sidearm wasn't a reassuring sight for anyone there. Joey, fortunately, was used to this behavior. And said nothing of it. Neither did William, to him, it was normal.  His level of tolerance, was no. But he wanted that APC, and didn't know the first thing about building an engine. Much less a military grade one designed to run on magic.
Soviet and Tankery got to both sides of the door, both turned and looked at William, signaling if he wanted to go along with their plan.
"We going to breach?" Tankery asked William. 
"You hate them anyways, might as well get payback to what they did before-"
" Ah screw it." William murmured to himself.  Raising his boot.

"Alright, you can come in-" William barged inside. " Listen here and listen well you freakish abomination." The twin seemed entirely unfazed at  remark. So, what with William being, well... William. He did the only thing he thought logical, pulling a cattle prod. " You're going to do exactly what we ask you. When we ask you. Understood?" He gulped. "Well, I'll have to talk to Flam about that-"

"Can that ####! No one is going to save you 2, either you make what we're asking you to make. Or-"
"Or what?" William hated this unicorns overconfidence. " We'll give you the schematics. No funny business. Or unfunny business."  He breathed out heavily, and nodded.  " Alright, I'll get my brother." The stress building in William's head disappeared at this statement. And he set the prod to hang on a belt loop. 

"Huh, that actually worked. " Soviet lowered his gun. William glanced behind at them. " You had your weapons drawn? You do realize that had you shot them. They wouldn't have been able to build the engine for us?" The 2 stopped and pondered the response for a moment. ""Anyways, I'm guessing using your normal voice isn't convincing to getting these two to do your bidding. Voice changers?" William shook his head. "Nope, authoritative yelling.  Taking verbal command of a situation. Learned it from one of the instructors at a training course I went to a few years back. Few ex spec ops taught me a few things that you can't get anywhere else in the civilian sphere of influence. " They nodded with a healthy  degree of skepticism. " I don't usually talk about it." He sighed and slipped a piece of paper to the now traumatized unicorn.  " I want it built and ready in 2 day's time." Without another word. He spun around and slipped back out the front door into the darkness of the late evening. The 2 other humans followed. Leaving Joey behind. The brother gave him a pitiful look, Joey just turned around and walked out along with them. Shutting the door with his magic as he did.

" It's quiet. To quiet." William stood out in front of his unlit house. " Well. You locked everything up first, right?" Soviet quipped. William nodded. I did, but this is... different, you'll learn to pick these things out the longer you're in this game."

"What game?" Tankery questioned. William ushered him to be quiet. And knocked on his front door. Hey! Any creature in there?" William tapped the door. No response was given. So he reached into a secure pocket on his right hip and pulled out his house key. Which itself was attached to a Nomex keychain. In one fluid movement he inserted it into the keyhole. Spun it 90 degrees, then back again. He twisted the door handle and walked in. His eyes swept from side to side as usual. And as he zeroed out the possibility of any potential intruders, he waved the 3 inside. "Wait, where's Joey? He was here a moment ago." He swiveled his head from side to side. surveying the empty street.  "Huh. that's odd."

""What's odd?" The both of them asked. "Simple, when a pony leaves abruptly, their hoofsteps give it away."  He sighed, and looked up at the sky. There was a tiny sliver of sun left. and that was soon to be gone. " Y'all can sleep on my couch. Or my backyard. Just don't break anything." He walked back inside, but froze as he did.  "There's something in the backyard." But rather than reaching for his sidearm. He just walked up to the back sliding glass door. And pulled back the curtain.  

"Suprise-" William rolled it back in horror. Standing in the backyard was a cluster of ponies, ones he either knew, or recognized. If that wasn't already weird enough, Celestia and Luna were there as well. Out of the corner of his eye, he just barely made out the shape of Joey. " Damnit, I thought I said no parties." He swore under his breath, and kicked the wall. "Hey, hope you don't mind. But I think I'll just collapse, I've had a long day." William turned around to find Soviet, fast asleep on his couch. Leaving only Tankery.  "Wanna go out back?"  Tankery scratched his chin, and eyed his friend. The thought of passing out just as he had passed his mind. But flew right by. " Sure. Why not?"  He nudged his friend awake. Who angrily sat up, and started moaning about how much he hated him.


William pulled the curtain back aside. And was greeted by about 2 dozen equine faces. Without saying a word, he pulled the sliding glass door aside. And stepped out onto the back patio. A cheer erupted from the crowd.  " How did you find out?" He asked the crowd. " How did you find out that today, is my birthday?" Celestia was the first to answer. " Well William, you've done so much for Equestria, and I can't remember the last time any creature thanked you for it. So, with the help of Joey, I invited those few ponies which you know. And a few that wanted to thank you in person." William smiled. " Joey, what did I tell you about public gatherings?" His friend returned and awkward smile. " Ah, who am I kidding? This is amazing. Thank you, thank you all."  He walked back inside, and a few seconds later, music began emanating from inside. 

I see the bad moon a-rising
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin'
I see bad times today

Don't go around tonight
Well it's bound to take your life
There's a bad moon on the rise!


William figured Luna and the bat ponies would appreciate that one. He left the house, with the 2 other humans in tow.  "  Well, what are you waiting for? You just gonna stand there and starve? Eat something damnit!" He asked the crowd. Snatching a cookie off a nearby plater. All the while, Soviet hid behind Tankery, " Oh ####! That's princess Luna!" William glanced over at them out of confusion in a gesture of, 'what the hell is wrong with you?' Tankery tried to calm him down, " Dude, stop. It's not like you-" He stopped in terror.  Celestia, Luna, William, and Joey all overheard this and went over to discern what they were yelling about. " William, who are these 2?" Celestia asked our of curiosity. " This is Soviet, and this is Tankery. I don't know their real names. They just kinda... appeared, in my backyard this morning. Claimed they were from an alternate universe."

"I see, and, why were you frightened by me?" Luna questioned. Soviet blushed, "Well... I might have had... hehem, 'romantic relations' with my universes version of you." William stood there in shook, trying to process what he had heard, at last, he simply drew his sidearm. " I. Hate. Xenophiles." He pulled the hammer back. " You have 30 seconds, to either explain, or leave."
Tankery pulled his sidearm in turn, "So he did kind of stab our Luna because she was stalking us in our dreams. And from what I gathered from before, he was ordered by Twilight to make up with Luna to start a friendship. But what I didn't know, is what the hell happened until now." He said as he moved his gun from William, then to Soviet, and back again. No one, or pony, moved for what seemed like an eternity. Not even the crowd. William glanced over at Luna, then at Soviet, then at Tankery. Then back again. " Really want to try your luck with that gun of your's buddy?" William asked, it was an attempt at sarcasm, created by a brain that was in no way in the mood for it. And was much to preoccupied watching Tankery's trigger finger. And the royal sister's horns.

"Well true, but I ain't a xenophile, just look at my search history! And besides, it came naturally and I wasn't attracted to anyone until I actually knew her, like most relationships start?" Soviet asked. William was not by any means convinced. " Interspecies relationships are one of the highest forms of heresy. What religion, you might ask? Well, my own of course!" 

"So you're calling these equines animals? I'd treat them as if they were human, and if you're religion isn't 12 gauge, then I don't care!" Soviet retorted. William rolled his eyes. "It's not 12 gauge, it's .50 BMG. And I do treat them fairly. Just look at Joey. What I meant by that is you shouldn't be trying to strike up a relationship with one unless you are one of them! Make sense?" William just stood there and listened to them banter on and on.  He gave Celestia a nudge. "I'm so sorry you have to sit through this."

"Ah, don't be. You should see the things Daybreaker says about me." William blinked, "Daybreaker?" She chuckled. He sighed, and holstered his gun. " This is why I hate public gatherings." He walked over to Soviet and Tankery. And yanked their guns right out of their hands.  " You aren't mature enough to have these." He ejected their magazines, tossed them in a dump pouch on his side, and cycled the actions on both of them. " You can have them back when you calm down."

Soviet then sighed and pulled out his secret weapon, "Fine." He pulled out a plate of chocolate fudge and Tankery spawned a pair a scissors.  "Why do I need this?" Tankery asked staring down at his hands. "I don't know, you're the one who spawned it." Soviet answered. William sighed. " The ####'s wrong with you 2? Just- eat." William pulled Joey aside, and sat down on a lawn chair next to him. " Working theory is they're escaped mental patients. I mean, just look at them! They're more chaotic than Discord!"

" Did I just hear something about Daybreaker? Oh god no, not her. I do have a contingency plan to handle Daybreaker." Soviet said to William. Soviet then s manifested a bottle of cold water. " See what I mean?"
"And yes, we might be from a Mental Hospital because I was born in Detroit." Soviet added to William's statement. He rubbed his eyes out of fatigue. And dragged him inside. Locking the door behind him. " We have to figure out how to get these 2 idiots out of our world before they break anything else!" Joey scratched his chin with a hoof.

"I could ponify them. That'd at least remove a part of the danger." William thought about it for a moment. 

Meanwhile...
"Hey! We may be retarded but we are-" Tankery tried to formulate his next thought, but ironically failed. "And besides, we do come up with things that you haven't thought of, like our tractor, and or turret emplacements to contain whatever threat may come up. And we know how to inspire and give more trust to our allies, for example, the Royal Guards. That reminds me, Princess Celestia, what happened to the Changelings in this timeline, universe, dimension, whatever?" Soviet asked.

"Oh, they're our allies now. Well, the ones that survived the attack on Ponyville a few years ago. William massacred them by the hundreds. To be truthful, up until then, I had never quite seen or heard of anything like it."

"Your highness, if I may ask, did he try to do this all on his own or did he allow the royal guard to be put to use?" Tankery asked. " He did it all of his own accord 5 years ago. And he asked only that he be sent home and be allowed to return eventually." Soviet looked over at the darkened house." I wonder what they're talking about in there?"

"Well, whatever they are. They're missing the celebration I organized for William."

The both of them walked over to the backyard door, and knocked on it. " If you were too allow some of the work to be put into the Royal Guard in the defense, the Royal Guard may gain experience from the battle, allowing more experienced soldiers within the ranks. So what I'm saying William, is that you need to put more trust into people, it may help you in the long run. And besides, isn't this part of what you find Equines call Harmony and friendship?" Tankery reasoned. William laughed, and pulled them inside. " Listen here friend . Stop talking to the populace. You can pull this crap back in your own reality!" The room around them was pitch dark.
"What do you mean?"
" Mind your own damn business and stay the hell out of mind."  Soviet got up, " Calm down-" Suddenly, they were both engulfed in a dark blue glow. Joey stepped out of the darkness. His horn was lit. " Uh, William, what are you doing?" He folded his arms. " Listen, you 2 have been causing trouble ever since you showed up. Being that you're humans, and that it was my birthday. I was willing to let it slide. But that comment you made about Luna pushed it to far. I don't tolerate xenophiles. I don't care what species they are. So, here's what's going to happen. Either you go out there, and apologize to Luna, and they send you back to your reality without incident. Or, Joey here turns you into a pony. You apologize, and you get sent home without incident. Heretic or not, I'm no murderer. So, what'll it be? " The 2 paused for a moment as they pondered either choice.  Joey looked over at William. "I can't hold this spell forever, you know." William nodded. " I know."  He waited for a response. 

" I don't know..." Soviet stuttered. William sighed, and rubbed his head. " We can change you back if you don't like it. " He scratched his head, "Alright. But Make it quick."  Joey ignited his horn. "Alright, here goes something."  Soviet recoiled a bit.

"Ahhh! It tickles!"
"It's gonna get worse." A bright flash of light engulfed the whole room. Temporarily blinding it's occupants.  All the while, the partygoers outside hadn't the slightest. As to what was going on, " Sister. William's taking quite a long time in there, isn't here?" Celestia asked. " Don't worry. I'm sure everything's fine. Probably." Neither were worried of course. Well, at least until  Soviet screamed. "Probably." Luna repeated.

"Oh, everything hurts. " Soviet opened his eyes, and looked around. "Why do my ears burn?" William looked down at transformed human. " Want a mirror?" William asked. What was one Soviet was now a pegasus with deep blue fur and a turquoise mane. Still wearing his kit. He looked down at his hooves, and began to panic. "I can't feel my fingers!" William rolled his eyes. " Yeah, yeah. Trust me, you get used to it. Try standing up." Tankery pulled his friend up to all fours, but tended up collapsing back onto the couch. " I'd like that mirror now." William passed one to him. 

Even though he was still a little disorientated from the transformation. He could still make himself out in the mirror, "No bueno!" He cried out.  "What? What's wrong? You look fine to me." William crossed his arms.  "Sorry... I'm just... In shock. Jesus Christ this body is wobbly."  He slumped back down on the couch.

"Well, you just got it. Give it a chance." His right ear twitched. His right wing went with it.  " I'm pretty sure that all this stuff would be suspicious." He threw off his body armor and combat boots. Which were now dangling off his hooves. " Let's go. We're keeping important people waiting."  He hopped off the couch, landed on all fours, stubbled, and crashed on the hardwood floor. " Little help?" He looked up at Tankery, who was laughing away at the sight of his friend, who gave him a scowl in turn. " What are you laughing about?"
" Yes."
"What kind of an answer is that? C'mon William, you help me up!" William pulled him back up, " Gah. How did you manage this?" William kept a hold on Soviet. " Some people just take to having hooves quicker. Ask Joey about it."  The alicorn trotted over to him,  and looked him right in the eyes. " Huh, we're about the same size. Maybe tomorrow we can see about you learning to fly. "  William raised an eyebrow. "Good idea Joey. Maybe I'll join you guys." Tankery looked at the 3 of them with a healthy about of concern.  " Eh... y'all can count me out. I hate heights."

Soviet's wings flared out as he stood there, he stared back at them in awe. " Wait, am I a pegasus, or an alicorn? I can't see above my head." 
"You're a pegasus." William said to him, " Want me to let go now?" Soviet nodded. " Yes please!" As soon as William took his steadying hold off him. He took an involuntary step forward, it was a complete accident. But he managed it nonetheless. Tankery praised his equine friend with a healthy amount of sarcasm .  "Bravo, bravo!" Soviet rolled his eyes. " If I didn't have hooves I'd be flipping you off right now." William smiled. " I have the same issue. Wanna go outside now?"
"Yes."
"Sure you'll be ok surround by all the other ponies?"
"Y- I don't know. Ah, consequences be damned, lets go anyway!" Joey pulled the door open, and the 4 of them stepped outside.  As soon as they did, all eyes were on them. " Well, what are you looking at"Soviet's wings flared out as he stood there, he stared back at them in awe. " Wait, am I a pegasus, or an alicorn? I can't see above my head." 
"You're a pegasus." William said to him, " Want me to let go now?" Soviet nodded. " Yes please!" As soon as William took his steadying hold off him. He took an involuntary step forward, it was a complete accident. But he managed it nonetheless. Tankery praised his equine friend with a healthy amount of sarcasm .  "Bravo, bravo!" Soviet rolled his eyes. " If I didn't have hooves I'd be flipping you off right now." William smiled. " I have the same issue. Wanna go outside now?"
"Yes."
"Sure you'll be ok surround by all the other ponies?"
"Y- I don't know. Ah, consequences be damned, lets go anyway!" Joey pulled the door open, and the 4 of them stepped outside. As soon as they left the house, all eyes were on them, "Well? What are you looking at?" William folded his arms, and took a cupcake. And looked up at the night sky. He glanced back, to find that Soviet had been surrounded by the crowd, all curious as to who the new pegasus among them was. It didn't take long for both them, and the royals to figure it out. Soviet meanwhile, was in quite a bit of distress. " "Que alguien me saque de aquí!" He cried out in Spanish, of course, the crowd didn't understand it.  Now, William had taken Spanish back in high school. And understood the awkward situation Soviet was in. " Now now folks, leave him alone." Upon hearing this, the crowd scooted back.  " Thanks." He whispered to William, who gave a silent nod.  He spun around, and galloped out of the backyard, well...  more like quickly stumbled. He was still working on getting the hang of those hooves. Right into the darkened forest. Leaving Tankery behind. " Damnit!" he cursed, throwing his arms up in the air out of anger.  

"William, what happened in there?" Celestia asked him, " He asked for the transformation. I gave it to him, I don't know why he rushed off like that. Social anxiety? "  

"Hmmm, Nightshine!"  A bat pony lept out of the crowd and stood sternly by Luna's side. "Take Joey, see if you can find our missing pegasus." She looked back at William and Tankery. " Well William? You haven't even touched your cake. Don't worry, they'll find Soviet."  The bat pony and Joey leapt off into the night sky. " I should've gone with them. He's my friend after all." Tankery hung his head. " Shut up, and have some damn cake." William passed him a plate. "And remember your manners this time."  His mood brightened almost instantly. William sat back down on a lawn chair.
"Huh, wonder how Joey's doing?"

Meanwhile...

Joey and lieutenant Nightshine flew through the dark Equestrian sky low to the treeline. Searching for Soviet. Neither of them spoke to one another. " See him?"
"If you're implying that just because I'm a bat pony I can see perfectly at night, you've got another thing coming." Joey chuckled. " You remind me of William.'
"How?"
"You're both angry. All the time."

Somewhere on the outskirts of Ponyville...

Soviet tread his way through the dark bushes and trees, desperate to get away from the commotion. As his gallop slowed to a  merger trot, when all of a sudden, he came to a stop at the edge of a swamp. This was the border between normal Equestrian woodland, and the Everfree forest.  Which spans from southern Ponyville, all the way to the Equestrian-  Badland's border.  Of course, at the time being, none of that interested him. He slumped down, and looked up at the sky. " Well what do ya know? William was right."  As he lowered his head, he caught sight of something sticking up in the mud.  He scotted closer to it, and realized that it was the barrel of an old rifle. With both hooves, he yanked it out of the fetid mud, and inspected it. The numbers 3-7 were carved into it's  stock. Seeing that it's sling  was still mostly intact, he slung it over his shoulder. And, mustering up as much bravery as he could. Turned around and headed back towards town. 

"Tankery, Tankery! This is Soviet, answer the damn radio!" Soviet tapped his hoof against the plastic device. " If you're hearing this, I found an old M14 in a swamp this the number's, 3-7 carved into it's stock. Figured it was important. So I took it with me. I'm heading back to the house. And by the way, I took a look at my hair. Gah! I'm gonna have to fix it! Please don't chop off my legs when I get back for leaving you alone... what else was I supposed to do!? I'm not wearing... anything!" He took his hoof off the button for a few moments, hoping that his friend had gotten the message. Only, it wasn't Tankery, it was William. " The fur covers everything. And besides, it was you who wanted to, 'blend in,' I got the crowd to stop pestering your friend by the way. You can thank me when you get back." A pair of shadowy figures appeared in the sky above him, " By the way, I send Joey and a friend of mine from the Equestian Special Forces after you, she's a bat pony. Don't be alarmed." The receiver on the radio cut off. And the 2 ponies in the sky circled down to meet him. 

"Where have you been?" Joey asked, " I don't wanna talk about it." Soviet responded. " Hey, where did you get that rifle?" He added, Soviet was silent as the trio trotted through the dark woods. With only Joey's glowing horn lighting the way. Back to William's house.   "What have I gotten myself into? He wondered. As the faint lights of Williams backyard came into view, Joey spoke up again.  "By the way, I noticed you've got walking figured out." He gestured down at Soviet's legs. "Huh? I guess I did. Wanna race?" Joey looked over at Nightshine, " What do you say?" She shrugged, " Eh. No thanks, you can go on ahead though."  Joey and Soviet froze, looked off at the lights of the backyard. " Go." The 2 of them took off. Immediately, Joey shot past him, not that that was a good thing. He stumbled out into the backyard, and right onto a feasting William. Who just sat there in shock. A second later, Soviet tumbled out of the bushes and crashed onto him as well. " This... doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Good to see you decided to come back, Tankery!" Another human walked over to William, who proceeded to quite literally pick Soviet up, "Here, this belongs to you." And drop him in Tankery's arms, " Set me down!" He cried out, Tankery set his friend down as gently as he could.  

" Sorry for running off." William smirked, " Don't worry about it, trust me. You get used to it." Soviet was unconvinced by the statement, but went along with it anyway. " Heh, thanks." William pointed at the rifle slung over his shoulder. " we'll talk about that in the morning." He sun around, and looked out at the crowd. " Alright. Parties over, I'm invoking castle law! Good night!" They all looked at him in utter confusion, " You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!" He looked over at the royals. " Until next time William. And to all of you, my sister and I had a wonderful time here. Good night, and safe travels. " They disappeared in a flash of pale light. Per their instructions, the crowd cleared out. " we can clean up tomorrow, let's go to bed. See you tomorrow Joey." The alicorn smiled back, and took off towards his own home.

" Y'all can sleep downstairs."  They looked at one another, and agreed.  He led them inside, and laid out a mattress for them. " Good night, and sweet nightmares." He spun around, flipped off the lights and marched up the stairway.  Leaving a the pegasus and human alone in the pale faint moonlight.  

" Birthdays never fail to disappoint, huh?" William asked himself as he drifted off to sleep.  A few moments later, his eyes shot open, he heard what was very clearly profanity, followed by. " Stop petting me! I'm a pony, not a dog!" He chuckled at this. " Shut up! And go to sleep!"
> And all is right(ish) With the world once more!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ahh..." William stretched as he pulled himself up out of his bed. Rubbing his eyes, he went for his curtains, throwing them open, and letting the morning sun in. He sighed as he looked out over the town he had inhabited for the past year. It was almost enough to make him forget the 2 gun toting imbeciles downstairs. One of whom, was a pegasus. "Damnit." He tapped his fist on the window sill as he heard the 2 yelling down stairs. Soviet and Tankery were their names. They had shown up yesterday morning on his birthday. And ever since had carried themselves with the maturity and discipline of 8 year old children. 

"Hold on, hold on." He fixed his multicam BDU pajamas and opened up his bedroom door. Walking straight past his 'guests,' he didn't say a single word until he had downed a half glass of water. " So, how'd you sleep?"  He asked them, putting  the cup down on the granite kitchen top.  " Terrible, someone," Soviet glared over at a groggy Tankery, "Wouldn't stop snoring." William rubbed his eyes. "  Breakfast?"

"Yeah I'll have some." Soviet replied. " Me to." Tankery added. " Well? Get over here and help me. I'm not running a damn restaurant here!" They groaned and hobbled over to the kitchen. " Set the table. And help me with the pancakes, you've made them before, right?" He stared at the pegasus half his height, "Right?" Soviet shrugged. " Eh...."

"Nevermind.  Just make the table." William grabbed a multicam apron from the cupboard, and set off making a half dozen pancakes. Just the way his parents had thought him. Alongside  it, he set 3 hash browns. Regrettably, no bacon though. That was something that he would almost certainty have to remedy. " Had any weird dreams?" He asked as he poured the premixed batter into a bowl. " No. Why do you ask?"

"That kind of stuff usually happens your first night in Equestria. Don't know why, it just does." He gave the bowl a shake,  then gently poured a portion of it's contents onto a pan, setting it to simmer on the stove as he did. At the same time, he also began working on the 3 hash browns. As he did, he pulled open his laptop and set some music to play.  

" That's odd, usually Joey would've shown up at by this point." William shrugged, " No matter. " Here's the food." Pulled the final pancake out of the pan and divided them between 3 plates alongside the hash browns. " What do you say?"  looked at him with blank stares. " Thank you." 

" Good." They sat down, and began to hack away at their food.  " can't believe I'm stuck baby sitting these 2." He shook his head as he shoved another bite into his mouth. Soviet swallowed another forkful of hashbrowns, the pegasus looked over at William, "So William, we must explain ourselves. Our idiocy and annoyance is what we use to find out who is our enemy and who's not. And if we do find said enemy,  we'd be able to act dumb around them that they wouldn't expect us to sabotage them..."  The 2 proceeded to go on a rant about why he, 'shouldn't send them back to their home world.' William bit his lip, " You sure that's not just the food talking?" He cleared the rest of his plate and set it off to the side. " You can put your plates in the sink when you're done, I'm not a maid. And please, do it gently."

"Well, you might as well use us while we're here." Soviet reasoned, William rolled his eyes, and snatched his empty plate up off the table.  " I'll make use of you by teaching you how to fly. " He set it down in the sink, then spun back around and switched off the music playing on his laptop. " Alright, now, to the outskirts of Ponyville!" 

"Why?" Tankery folded his arms as he leaned back against the living rooms southern wall.  " You do want your friend to learn how to fly, right? Actually, don't answer."  He jogged up the stairs, and came down half a minute later wearing a fully geared out plate carrier, battle belt, and ballistic helmet. " Well? get your boots on!" Tankery stumbled over to the door. William face palmed as the 2 franticly rushed around the room, getting their act together. " Er... Ready." They both stuttered out. "Good, c'mon, Joey's waiting for us." He unlocked the front door and jogged outside. Soviet and Tankery followed followed  close behind. William stopped only to lock the door behind him.

"Joey!" William waved to his friend, who was currently flying loops around the park out of boredom. As soon as he noticed the 3, he set himself down and galloped over to them. " You 2, don't get yourselves into any trouble, I'm going to go change species. " Joey followed William into a patch of bushes just out of sight. Immediately afterwards, a flash of blue light shone through the trees. About a minute later, the light faded. And out stepped a tall brown pegasus. Wearing all the same kit that William had been.  Soviet and Tankery were speechless as he trotted up to them, " So, what do you think?"  Soviet blinked.  "Uh-" William held a hoof up.  " Let's get started. " Tankery, I'd recommend you find yourself a place to sit. We're gonna be here a while. " 

"Ok." Rather than walking over to the nearest bench. A mere 5 yards away. He just sat down right where he was.  " Alrighty then, that works just as well. " He bounded up into the air with a single wing flap. " First, you-" Soviet repeated William's wing flap. And shot up just as high as he ad, a good 12 feet off the ground. Unfortunately, that was all he was able to do. He franticly flapped again and again, just to stay in the air. "Joey, can you? He's embarrassing us."

"Since when have you been worried about being embarass-"
"Just, set him down!"
"Alright, alright." Joey grabbed Soviet by the mane and, 'gently', guided him back to the ground.  " I don't know what happened! I just thought of being chased by border patrol and jumped!" Tankery gave his friend a thumbs up, "Good job!" He said, with an unhealthy amount of sarcasm. 
William facehoofed, and flew down to eye level. " Did you just say border patrol? Ok. We're going to have to talk about that later. Joey, you teach him."

" It ain't my fault I'm Mexican! Alrighty Joey, what's next?" He  slipped a modified fighter pilot helmet on over his head.  " That doesn't matter. You 2 figure out the whole flying thing, I'm off to go harass some clouds. Because I can. I'll be back in about a half hour." William spun 90 degrees, and flew off northwest, towards the outskirts of Cloudsdale. Leaving Soviet, Joey, and Tankery behind. " Heh, reminds me of Tankery's father."

"#### you!" Tankery shouted back.  Joey rolled his eyes, " Shall we?" 

Exactly half an hour later...

"Alright guy's I'm back-" William froze in mid air and watched as a blue and turquoise blur shot past him. Well, it was more like stumbled past him, if swerving back and forth through the air at 90 miles an hour could even be considered, 'stumbling.'  He shook his head, " Hey! Stop!" Joey flew up behind him, " He's progressing rather well, isn't he?" William rolled his eyes, " Sure. You ever thought of teaching him to fly straight?" He glanced down at the ground, far below, Tankery lay slumped against a tree, watching the trio with a pair of binoculars. 

"Hah, you were right William, this is awesome!" He spun back around and hovered alongside William and Joey. " Glad you like it."  William's ear twitched, " Told ta you'd warm up to it." He set himself down on the grassy field. " You can stop showing off now." Tankery murmured, " Hey, I'm not the one showing off," He pointed up at Soviet, who was currently attempting a lap around town. " He is."

"I'm hungry. Wanna grab something to eat?"
"Sure." Joey responded.  The 2 waited for Soviet, who promptly agreed. Together the 4 walked across town to William's favorite dinner. Well, Equestrian dinner. There were a few back on earth that in his opinion, could never be beat. As they stepped through the door and sat down at William's usual spot, a both on the western side of the restaurant. They were greeted by the usual cheery waitress. A tanish unicorn mare with a red mane. Who, despite having served William and Joey multiple times in the past. Didn't recognize him due to his transformation.  "I'm sorry, who are you?" 

"It's me, William. Remember? I usually come in here covered in blood that's usually not my own?" She looked worried, " Oh, William! Didn't recognize you. Uh, pray tell, when did you... get.." She made a circle in the air with her right hoof, directed at William, " Oh, my wings? Don't worry, it's temporary." She shrugged. "Alright, who are these 2?"

"Hi, I'm Tankery, this is my friend, Soviet." They both waved, " So, what'll it be? The usual?" William and Joey both nodded, "And for you 2?" Soviet blinked, and looked down at the menu which had been laid out for him on the table. " Uh, wait. What's a, 'hayburger?" Soviet looked up from his menu. William sighed in disappointment, " It's a hamburger, but with hay instead of meat. I'm not joking. I only tried it once. And I hated it, tried it again as a pony, still hated it. Get if you want, ruin your already degenerate level of decency, I couldn't care less." He turned back over to the waitress, " I'll have my regular. potato fries, not hay fries. Grilled cheese, and a glass of water. Joey? Soviet? Tankery?" 

"Oh, I'll have the same. That, and a flower salad." While Joey was sure of what he wanted,  Soviet and Tankery were still on the far side were still debating what they wanted. Mostly, they were going over the menu, and it's many, many unconventional options. " I'm sorry, did you say flower salad? Like, garden flower flower?" William nodded, " Yes. If you didn't already know that. Ponies can eat flowers, and yes, they can also eat grass, don't you dare go munching away on my lawn through." Soviet looked about ready to black out. " This is ###ing crazy, what am I doing with my life?"

"Really? After all the stuff I've told you and all the things you've witnessed in the past day and a half you've been here. Your... expanded 'palate,' is what get's you riled up?" It came back with their food. " Uh, sir, here's your food." William swiveled his head over to the waitress, at the same time, the food, which, up until now had been surrounded in a faint yellow aura, was suddenly engulfed in an emerald green one. Here's the money. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a half dozen bits. " Here, this ought to cover me and Joey, hey, idiot's when are you going to order?"

"Uh, we'll both have what William had." They answered at the same time. Not wanting to over complicate things. " Alright. " William passed 4 more bits over. " That ought to cover it for them." The waitress smiled and walked off.  Soviet kept reading the menu over and over out of boredom, Tankery meanwhile, began petting him. " Stop."  Soviet tried, and failed to ignore it, " Alright, you know the drill ." A Makarov appeared on the table before him, Tankery scowled at his friend, "#### you." They both laughed. 

"Is there some reference here I'm not getting?" William whispered. It was at a time like this he wished he had a fist to clench. " You know, I happen to despise 9x18 ammunition." William growled under his breath, just as the waitress returned with Soviet and Tankery's food. "Here you go." Much to William's disgust they dug into it like wild animals. He wasn't going to complain though, as Joey had often pointed out that he ate his own food in nearly the same fashion.  "Oh, it's a Soviet tradition. It's called the red flag, the failed commander who was being replaced must kill himself or his family due to the amount of shame said commander has." William knocked his fist against the table, " I'm part Ukrainian, my family has a rather... hostile relationship with Moscow. Plus, all you said is just another reason for why NATO, and all western countries. Are superior. But that's enough of politics, this is Equestria. And Earth is a whole dimension away!"

"Fair point."

"So, how's the Bradley going along?" William groaned, " It's not a Bradley, it's a Stryker IFV with 4 axles."  Soviet raised an eyebrow, " Ok, it's all the same to me."

"We're going over the Flim and Flam's house to pick it up after this. Eat quick." They did not. They took all of 15 minutes finishing their food. And by the time they looked up from their clan plates, William and Joey were halfway across town, about to knock on the twins door. "Oh, oh ####." They both stood up and ran the whole quarter mile. 

"William, why did you leave!?"  Tankery cried out, " I got tired of waiting, help me!"
"With what? You can levitate things!" William shrugged, fair point,  Joey?" The 2 of them lit their horns, and the piece of machinery lifted up off the ground. Oddly enough, though not entirely unexpected, the 2 unicorns which had made it for them had disappeared.  Just to play it say, it was decided that they would take the long way back to William's house. 

"So, what are you 2 going to do when you get back to your home?" William asked the duo. "Well our dimension of Equestria, I plan on visiting or might as well stay, because no taxes. And if you mean Earth, might as well continue what I was doing before this. I mean, my life is boring." Soviet answered.  " Fine by me." William cracked his neck.

"You can stay in Equestria, I'm going home."  Tankery folded his arms. " You can do whatever the hell you want, once you get back to your Equestria. That reminds me, Joey, could you go get Twilight to have a portal ready for these 2 by the time I get home?" His friend nodded, and hurried off in the opposite direction, taking flight after just 2 bounds. " You know Tankery, you should stay in your Equestria. Trust me, all you need is a reasonable cover story and no one will ever second guess you disappearing for years at a time. Tankery scratched his head, " It's really that easy?"
"Was for me." Tankery was silent as he pondered his decision, all the way back to the backyard. Soviet meanwhile, kept asking question after question. Mainly, how William was able to afford all the things he had. Namely, his house, and the exorbant amount of food. " Well, that's easy,  I receive a check from the royal treasury on a monthly basis. Which I then convert to bits at the local bank. Curtesy of the royal sisters. Saving Equestria over and over again of my own accord may not have earned me much fame or notoriety, but it sure damn gave me financial security." 

" And just hove much money are we talking about here?"
"Like I would ever tell you, hell, I haven't even told Joey the amount. I'm by no means 'rich,' but it's more than enough for me live life the way I want to live it. Fun fact, did you know there's no deductible on paycheck's in Equestria? Well, that's not true, it really depends on the area you live in..." William went on to turn the conversation into a lesson on the Equestrian financial system. Until at last, they crossed the unmarked barrier onto his property. Gently, he set the engine down on the pavement. " I suggest we get this thing put together before Twilight arrives." 

"Hey, Tankery, aren't you part Scottish?" William raised an eyebrow. The question had taken him by surprise. " I'm not even going to ask for an explanation at this point."

"No, no I'm not." He responded.  " So, you'll be able to set this thing up?" 

"Yes, at least, I think I can."

"What do you mean by, 'you think?" Joey asked, he had just flown right up over William's house. " Twilight's taking care of something else. She'll be over here in a bit." William rolled his eyes. Usually, when Twilight said that, it meant she'd be gone half the day. But still, he had faith that she would show up in time. He landed on the grass just a few feet from them, and took a step towards the engine. "Mind if I watch you put it all together?"

"Sure."  William glanced over at the other 2. " Ready?" They both nodded, and one enormous flash of light later, the massive 19 ton hull of a Stryker infantry fighting vehicle appeared on the back lawn. A few moments later, the engine went in. Completing it. "Oh hell yeah!" Soviet rushed to the drivers seat. I can't wait to try it out!"  William held him back. "Hey stop, you may be a pegasus, but age restrictions still apply. And I just happen to be 22!" William gleefully trotted forward.  Opened the rear hatch with a wave of his right hoof, and climbed into the driver's seat. " Well, it certainly feels right." He got up, and climbed out of the top, gliding down to the ground. 

"William!" He swiveled his head to find himself face to face with Twilight. " Uh, what's this?" She gestured to the IFV before her, " Oh, don't worry about it. I need you to send these 2 back to their home dimension.  Them and this thing."

"Well... ok, are you ready?" William looked over at Soviet and Tankery, who where whispering to each other about something. Though William couldn't make it out. Even with the improved hearing that equine ears afforded him.  "Well, we suppose we are." William rushed inside, and came out a few moments later with an  old M14 battle rifle slung over his shoulder. " This, is yours." 

"So I guess this is goodbye?" Tankery asked. " William nodded, " Yes, go. Now."

"Can we ever come back-"

"No."

"Alright! Alright! Twilight lit her horn, and the 2 disappeared, leaving only a vague magical outline where their bodies had once been, gone alongside it was the Stryker. " Well, that was interesting." Joey murmured. " I'm going to miss them." They looked at one another and snickered. "Nah." Twilight just stood there, trying to discern what had just happened. " Is that all?" She asked, " Yes Twilight, thanks for the help." She smiled and teleported away. " I gotta learn how to do that." William blinked, and winced at the thought of Joey being able to follow him wherever. " Hey, want me to change you back now?" It had been a long day, and William wasn't yet ready to give it up. " Let's wait 'till tomorrow. " William spread his wings, and flew off into the horizon.   Joey rolled his eyes, and flew after him, only to hear the words don't, " Stop following me!"

"Heh, and all is right in the world once again." Joey thought to himself.
> Happy Independence Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmmm..." William pondered his thoughts as he sat once more on his couch. As motionless as he could be, when it struck him. " Holy ####! It's-" He rushed over to his calendar, and checked the date. "July 3rd! Of course, how could I have forgotten?" He stumbled back into his couch, and buried his head within one of it's pillows. The fourth of July, was one of, if not William's favorite holiday of the year. Back on earth, it had been the only time he had been permitted to ,'play,' with explosives. If only miniscule ones, it had still brought him much joy. And, what with his newfound powers. He intended to make this 4th a day for all Ponyville to remember. 

"Hey William-" He pulled himself up from the couch, and bounded towards the door. Stopping only to peer the the window to ensure that it was indeed his friend. " Ah, come on in bud." He swung the door aside, and the alicorn stepped inside. As usual, with a smile on his face. " Morning William. What's got you in such a good mood today?" He chuckled.

"Well Joey, tomorrow's the 4th of July. And you know what that means, right?" His friend pawed the ground with his hoof, " Fireworks, streamers and food?" William nodded. " That's certainty part of it, but just like Christmas, that's not the most important part of it. It's about celebrating the birth of dear ol' uncle Sam!" Joey rolled his eyes, " Knowing you, I'm sure you've got something interesting planed. "

"Yeah, I do." William cracked his knuckles, and went to grab his laptop. " William, one thing, are you sure that this isn't going to cause any harm to the residents of our dear town?" They both looked at each other, and laughed, " No, probably no." They laughed again. Joey, with a slight tinge of awkwardness.  William was fond of taking his favorite hobbies and holidays  overboard. Sometimes, literally. And considering that this was one he respected, he knew that he was in for a treat. What he was not expecting was for William to say this, " I need Twilight's help."

"I'm sorry, did you just say-"

"Yes, I'd like some creature other than me... And you, to appreciate my work." He jumped up from his laptop, and rushed out the door, leaving Joey alone in the room with the laptop. Out of curiosity, he peered over at the screen. Almost as soon as he had begun to move his head, William rushed back inside, and slammed the screen shut. " Nope." Was William's only response, before rushing out again.  Joey hung his head, and followed him out. "I will never understand him, will I?" He almost half expected a response back, but no. All that he was greeted with was silence. And, through all the commotion of the town. This distant sound of boots repeatedly hitting cobblestone. 

"Hey, Twilight?" William repeatedly tapped on the front door of the castle. " I need help with something." He paused, and waited, " Yes? Oh, William! What is is?"

"A few years I told you about a certain holiday my nation celebrates back on earth. The 4th of July?" She shook her head, " I don't remember, it's been quite a while. " William scratched his balaclava clad chin,  " Well, the 4th of July is a very special holiday which only the United States of America celebrates, it's meant to commemorate ate the founding of our nation. There's usually a lot of fireworks involved. Think you can help me with that?"

"You'd have to ask Pinkie. " William rubbed his neck up against his shoulder, " Well, her and I aren't exactly on good terms.  Thanks anyway."

"No problem." William turned and walked back down the long dirt pathway leading back into town, "It's alright, I'll just have to improvise. " A 40 millimeter grenade appeared in the palm of his hand, he looked it over.  And tosses it up a few inches, catching it with no real effort. "Yes, no problem at all..." 

"So, how did it go?" Joey asked, trotting up next to William as his boots tore miniscule holes in the tall grass at the edge of town. He stopped next to an old oak tree. " Well, Twilight can't provide me with what I need, but I think she's ok with it. Besides, why go go bug a bunch of ponies for fireworks, when I can acquire ordinance 10 times as powerful with a snap of my finger?" William continued on, tweaking his rifle optic as he headed out of town, towards the Everfree forest. " What about lunch!?" Joey called out.

"I'll figure it out!" came a response. William had already disappeared behind a veil of woodland. 

Roughly one day later...

"Hey, William! C'mon man, I know you're out there!" William was awoken to the sound of wings flapping over head,  in a daze, he looked up. Oddly enough, he was still in the forest, "Damnit, I must've fallen asleep. How did this happen?" William had been out wandering the woods since mid day yesterday. And, being that he had been far to lazy to walk back, simply collapsed out in the woods behind his home. And now his friend had found him, all achy and ready for breakfast. Then, he looked at his watch, " 11: 28!?" He called up to Joey, " Uh, yeah! I mean, I don't have a watch but I just looked up at the sun and its out about halfway!" Joey called down. With a groan he pushed himself up off the ground, and stumbled forward, he set his sore gloved hand on... something, upon looking down, he noticed that he had been leaning on his friends wing. 
" Ah! How did you get down here?" He pulled his hand way, and looked though the woods. And recognized his location immediately, he was about a quarter mile from his house. 

" So, how'd you sleep?" His friend asked with a degree of sarcasm, William rubbed his neck, and took a few steps forward. " Alright, hey,  fun fact, did you know that liminal spaces make for an excellent gunnery range?" Joey raised an eyebrow. " I'll explain it to you on the way. Happy Independence day." He began trudging forward again. 

"See you tonight Joey." William slammed the sliding glass door to his house. " Uh, ok. Do you at least want breakfast?"

"I'll make it myself." He pulled the curtain back, and reeled around, " Now, food!" Joey blinked, " He's been acting weird lately, actually, nevermind. He's just acting normal. His normal anyway." Joey took off, leaving William on his own. 

Several hours later...

"Hey, Rainbow!"
"Uh, what?"
"You wanna know the great thing about the day-night cycle in Equestria?"
"What?"
" There's never any time changes. Unless Luna, or Celestia sleep in."
"Huh?" William had tried to strike up a conversation with Rainbow Dash as she passed over his house. Curious as to what he was doing setting up a set of lawn chairs on a small improvised deck.  He had spent the entire day, or rather, half day. Walking around town setting up modified rotary anti aircraft batteries. And, stranger still, nopony had questioned it. Most in fact, had had steered clear of what he was doing. Those that didn't just stopped by to say hello, he had even had another encounter with Derpy Hooves. Which had brightened his mood. It was nearly impossible to be unhappy around her. And he had gotten back home just in time for the sun to go down. " So, what are you doing up here?" It was about then when Joey came flying up, sitting right down next to William. " So, you ready?" 

"No, not yet, I'll be back in a moment." William climbed down from from the roof into his bedroom window. "So... How was your day?" Joey questioned Rainbow, " It was good,  yours?"

"Well, I would've spent the day with him, but William insisted that I leave him alone, so I did."

"Is he alright?" Joey smirked, " William? The Quiet Kid? It's complicated. " The 2 watched as William climbed back out of his bedroom window, gabbed onto the edge or the roof. And pulled himself up, just narrowly avoiding getting his vest caught on the gutter. With one final push, he swung himself up over the ledge, and onto the rooftop. He looked straight up, and was met by a pair of ponies. "Heh, I could lay here all night. But that's not what I'm here for. Let's get this show started!" William set a duffle bag off to the side, and unzipped it. Revealing a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of root beer. He slumped back into the chair on the leftmost side of the roof. "Go on, sit down. Get comfortable. We're gonna be here a while."

"Why did you go through the effort of putting these chairs up here William?" Rainbow asked, looking out at the town, " Well, good question. Keep watching!" He reached into his pocket, and extracted a small detonator with a radio antenna attached to the end. "Happy fourth of July!!!" He cried out, he gave the button a single gentle tap with his thumb. For a few seconds, nothing happened.

"William, are you sure you wired it correctly-" In an instant, the entire night sky was lit up by dozens of fireworks. Fired from launchers all across town. All in shades of red, blue, and white. Together, the detonations formed the vague silhouette of the American flag in the Equestrian night sky. Followed by scenes of the revolutionary war. All across town, ponies looked up at the sky, wondering where the beautiful display of pyrotechnics had come from. None, except Twilight, knew it's true meaning. But they enjoyed it nonetheless.
> "Treehouse!? Not on my castle grounds."
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" And then, that SOB had the audacity to call me lazy!"

"Sir, your order's ready." William blinked, he had been standing in line for the past 5 minutes for a box of donuts. Which, regrettably, meant going to Sugercube corner. Though he never really understood why they called it a, 'corner,' which, unlike the name, was actually situated in the middle of the street, a least 50 feet away from all other buildings in the court. While suffering through Pinkie Pies insatiable rambling was usually a con of going to pick up more donuts, or sweets in general, it had been largely absent, something he was more than a little bit glad for. Which, oddly enough, had been relatively calm and uneventful. He had gotten up today, remarked on the beauty of the town through his bedroom window. Gotten dressed, eaten breakfast, brushed his teeth. And then headed out for, 'grocery shopping.' And here he was now, mumbling about his first encounter with Sombra. Who he didn't think was worthy of the respect of being called a king. In front of a pony that most definitely didn't have the security clearance to know about this stuff. He couldn't care less.

"Thanks," He set 2 bit's on the table, " Have a good nice day Mrs. Cake." He turned around and walked past the growing line of ponies. " You too William!" He forced as he hopped off the porch and headed southwest towards his house with a box of what he called, 'éclair dogs,' which where essentially just long donuts with chocolate drizzled on top and a filling of whipped cream. It was then when he realized that today was the end of summer vacation for the students of Twilight's school. Albeit, what with next to 0 responsibilities and a perfect climate. It was always vacation time in this place. He was now faced with the moral dilemma of first taking his box of food home, ensuring it's safety behind a bulletproof, and magic proof fridge, then going to the school to check out the renovations. Or, he could go straight there, and risk his eclairs being stolen or worse, having to share them. " Damnit world." He cursed under his breath as he stomped his boot into the ground.

"Hey... William?" William eyed the alicorn walking up behind him. " Hey Joey, question, have you ever had one of those moments in your life where-" William stopped and rethought his wording. He just decided to scrap the who sentence all together.

"Dude, what are you talking about? I was just on my on my way over to your house, are you losing it?" William looked over at his friend. " No, I'm not. I'll be right back." He ducked into an alleyway, and disappeared behind a collection of raised flower beds. Joey shook his head.  " Sure you aren't. Sure." Joey flew off in the opposite direction. 

"Anndd... Safe!" William exclaimed, gently setting the box down on his kitchen countertop. Something he had just recently discovered about food in Equestria. Food'll get stale if left out for to long, but it'll never rot. Even so, he still preferred his milk and lemonade cold over warm.  With that out off the way, he crept his way back over to the School of Friendship. He still dispised the name. Nothing would ever change that.

" So, I see this place is the same ####storm it was 3 months ago!" William cried out, knocking on his own helmet. " Spike! Twilight appeared right in front of him in a flash of purple light. " What? Did some creature throw themselves off a cliff? Is Sombra back?" 

"What? No, no. We only have 20 highlighter's, and they're all orange!" William beat the palm of his hand into his face. "Damnit Twilight. Stop over reacting. Just go buy more. Besides, what could they possibly need highlighters for?"  Joey stood silent behind him. Watching the conversation play out.  " Hey Twilight, how's your morning gone?" He asked.

"Oh, hi Joey, good. Aside from, you know, the the start of the school year?" William turned back towards the doorway just as the young six came rushing in.  Yona tripped on the entrance and went tumbling past him.  " Hey kids, so, how'd your summer go? Actually, don't answer that. Mine was great though." 

"This is a surprise, why are you all here so early?" Twilight asked the group. " we're not here for school," Smolder explained.

"Yeah,  we're back because the Tree of Harmony called us here!" William's blood ran cold. He could feel his gloved hands beginning to ball up into fists. " Where is it?" He asked, as calmly as his ego allowed him. " Well, it sorta came to us in a vision-" William relaxed. " 

"But how? It's gone! Sombra destroyed it!" The group gasped in shock. " Y'all didn't know?" William chuckled, he had been there when it happened. But while the six had seemed devastated by it's demise, William had felt nothing at all, other than a faint sense of relief. In his eyes, that tree was a  manipulative supernatural tyrant. And had proved it on multiple occasions. The mere knowledge that it wasn't entirely gone unnerved him far more than it should have. 

"What about the elements of harmony? Doesn't that mean the Everfree forest will take over?!" The young group asked in a worried tone. Silverstream added that last bit. " Calm down, the forest won't be taking over much of anything. Besides, I like the peace and eerie quiet." Twilight didn't know what he meant, but decided not to question it.  " Yona not scared of Puckwages anymore. Friends save whole school from evil pegasus-"

"No, you didn't. Y'all were up ### creek without a paddle 'till I showed up. So do us all a favor, and stop telling lies." It was true that she and her friends had helped with it. But it was William who struck Cozy Glow with a rubber bullet. It was always fun and games for the villain until they encountered a being like William that actually knew what they were doing. Sighing in disappointment. He left. he wanted to get back to his donuts. And thankfully, Joey didn't follow. 


"I'll save the rest of 'em for later." William refolded the box, and hopped out onto his back porch." I'll bet those idiots went to see the corpse of that tree!" He whispered to himself.  Locking his door and taking off into the forest. Whistling  'big iron,' as he went along.  William's mood had lightened immensely since he left the school. And the woods only made it better. "Gah!!!" He yelped in pain as he stubbed his toe. " How in the- ####!?  He stomped his foot in irritation. Despite his boot, he still somehow managed to stub it. Thus, ruining his mood. He still tried to remain as happy as was possible for him. After a while, he cam to a small creek, and decided to sit on down and take a break. Looking up at the clear blue dome of a sky.  With an annoyed groan.  "I like being able to talk as loud as I want and not have anycreature answer back." He laughed, and got back up, continuing his whistling. Singing and whistling were 2 very different things. And he much preferred the later. 

" Rain. Perfect." He said with no sarcasm whatsoever. William loved rain, and the dark grey sky brought his relatively cheerful mood back. he threw a light poncho, and continued on his way. He descended a series of eroding stone steps propped up against the edge of a ravine. And made his way across the valley floor into the familiar cave which housed, or, used to house the Tree of Harmony.  It was also the place where he brutally exterminated clones of the main six which Chrysalis had summoned out of logs in an attempt to try to steal the Elements of harmony. Completely forgetting that they could be used by the six and only the six. And besides, the clones were polar opposites of Twilight and her friends. Now, in their place, where the young six. Singing.

" Nevermind." William awkwardly turned around and speed walked back up the ravine.  Taking shelter from the rain in one of his favorite places. The abandoned castle of the 2 sisters. Which had long been his go to place for blowing off steam. A sort of... Vacation home for himself. He took up post behind a wall on a bed of dry moss. And drifted off to sleep.

"Ugh, who's lobbing artillery at me?" He awoke with a groan. Struggling to his knee's, he glared out the window to find what at first glance, looked to be a scale replica of Twilight's castle. "What did they do to my courtyard!?" He demanded, pulling himself to his feet. He stormed out of a side exit, and stared up at the castle, which, upon closer examination. Was actually a treehouse. And, to add to his disbelief. The spirit of Harmony was out in front, talking to the young six. " Just wait and see..." He muttered. Slipping into the shadows.  

Later that evening...

That was it. William had had enough, the longer he had stared at that ugly crystalline abomination of a structure. The more he hated it. Twilight's castle was ok. But this, this thing had just popped right up out of the ground in one of his favorite places in Equestria. Just like a weed. And, just as one would do to a weed. William got rid of it. In the dead of night, a series of dim explosions rocked the castle grounds. And, when daylight once peeked up over the horizon the next morning. There was nothing left. " A treehouse, a giant crystalline weed!? Not here!"
> The Quiet Kid: Tacticool Edition
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William was bored again. It had been 2 full days since he disposed of the giant crystalline spire that had grown up from below the castle of the 2 sisters.  And since then. His life had been relatively calm. That was really just the way things went in this place, sometimes, day, or even weeks would pass without anything interesting occurring. Or you could have have an infestation of giant mosquitos one day. And an ancient eldritch abomination the next. What William found even stranger than the seemingly random attacks on the town was the well known fact that almost no other town in the Equestrian heartland was attacked this often. William accredited that to them not living right next to the Everfree forest. Even though he had gone hiking there every chance he got. He had still only explored a very small portion of the forest. Most maps of Equestria made it out to be roughly the size of Colorado back on earth. Just hiking from one side all the way to the other would likely take weeks. And he was ok with that. The more wilderness, the better.

William's mindset was in stark contrast to most native Equestrians. Who, for the most part, where terrified of the unknown. This showed in many parts of their culture. From the average citizens  ignorance as to the nature of the greater world they lived in, to their cuisine. Witch, despite them being omnivores. Consisted entirely of plants. He had made it clear many times that he would never conform to this ideology. 

" Hello? William?" He recognized Mrs. Hooves voice from his couch. It had been a while since he had seen her. William raced to the doorway and unlocked the latch. " Hi Derpy, watcha got for me?" 

"I don't know, it's a letter from Celestia." William groaned, " I'll take it, thanks." The grey pegasus smiled, and  hoofed it over to him. He closed the door as soon as it was in his grasp. Leaving him a short gap in which to say bye. With a sight, he removed the seal and read it. 

" She... Invited me to Canterlot? Odd, but, alright. Now, should I tell Joey? Nah, or course not!" William threw on the usual stuff he wore when leaving the house. Snatched an M4A1 out of thin air. And made for the train station. 

" Alright, what'd you want me for?" William knocked on the throne room door. Something uncustomary of him, usually, he would just throw the doors aside and barge right on in. Most of the time, he would be doing it with a light machine gun at high ready with the safety off. Probably he only came to Canterlot when it was either under attack or already under hostile control. That was another thing about ponies he disliked they might be adorable, but damn were they ever easy to subjugate and control. With no leader to, "Keep the herd going straight." They would crumble like rotting wood. It was for that reason that William believed they needed him. Because the magic of friendship is temporary. But gunpowder and lead are eternal.  

He  tugged on his shirt collar as the double doors were swung open by a unicorn guardpony who, to his surprise, saluted him as he passed her. With a chuckle, he walked inside, down the long red carpet, he stopped just 20 feet short of the princesses, Shining armor, who scolded at him, and the six. "Uh, Princess, why is he-" Celestia lifted her right hoof. "Calm down, I invited him."

"Uh, quick question, how do you put up with sitting up there all day. I mean, doesn't it get boring? There is literally nothing to keep yourself sane. And don't even get me started on those creepy moving stained glass windows. Actually, I think I will start on them. What the ####ing hell were you thinking when you put those in? I mean, stained glass windows, I'm fine with but, you had to enchant them? That's just a waste of energy. Also, why did you sent me a letter asking for me to come here?" He cracked his back, and tapped his heels together. " Shining Armor looked to stunned to answer, so Celestia did it for him.

"Well, I thought you might like what we have in store. After Sombra's attack Luna and I thought it would be prudent of us to reinforce the castles defenses. " William slapped his knee. " I suggested, that we do it ourselves, but someponies are.. A bit stubborn. " Luna muttered.

" Trust me, you ain't alone." William grumbled, toying with the magazine pouch straps. " What do you want me to do about it? Help you set some up? Need ideas? Well, you're asking the wrong operator." He crossed his arms. "I asked our old captain of the guard to handle the job." 

"I've taken things to a whole new level!" Shining armor touted, William's gun hand twitched. " Oh, is that so?" He responded with uneasy calmness. " Yes, all I need now is somepony to test it." 

"You want me to break into Celestia's castle!?" Twilight asked. " I don't see why you're worried." Shining continued in blissful ignorance. "If you can get past my defenses, steal the crown, and get out, you'll be sibling supreme." He had directed that last bit at Twilight. And damn did she ever like the prospect of it. William raised an eyebrow, " That's all? That's it?" William shrugged, walked over to the throne, and picked up the aluminum foil crown, and placed it on top of his helmet. " I win." The entire room was silent, " Well, you didn't say when." 

" As I said before, your help will help us reveal if there are any holes in our security." William fought back a laugh. " So what you're saying is, if they have the crown, and just the physical crown, they automatically get control of all Equestria?"  Shining bit his lip, " Are you going to help us, or not?" William nodded, " Yes. I will." He began to walk away, "Y'all tell me when you want me to steal it." 

"Don't you want to see the traps-" William couldn't contain his laugher at this point, so it just came out. " I don't care, whatever it is, it won't be enough!" He slammed the throne room doors behind him. " Them? Security?" He shook his head at the mere thought of it.  But then again, a small part of his mind was worried, his training, and sense of critical thinking had taught him to never be caught unprepared. And so, he decided, if he was going to do this, he was going to give himself every possible advantage. But first, he needed to make a, 'stop.' 

"Twilight?" William tapped on her horn, she jumped in surprise. Her, and her friend's had appeared to have finally made up their minds. William had also made his up. And he had spent the last half hour wandering the castle grounds looking for her. " Twilight, do me a favor."
"What? And, where have you been?" William shushed her, " Quiet, not now! Meet here tonight, as soon as the sun goes down." Before she could ask why, he was already leaving. Twilight wanted to protest, but given what she knew about William. She figured that he knew better. Something that by itself, she found absurd. But, she went along with it anyhow. 

Several long hours later...

William had brought out all the stops on this one. From his amplified ear protection which combined the sensitive hearing of a pony with hearing protection for gunshots. His helmet and vest were pretty much the usual, except for his uniform made from a special fabric with functioned in the same way as an F 22 raptor's hull. Rendering  the majority William's body nigh invisible to thermal, infrared, radar, and most importantly, magic based scans. On top of his NIJ level 3 helmet. He had donned a set of panoramic night vision goggles. His boot's had been modified so as not to leave visible footprints, and soften the sound of his footsteps. His rifle was the best part of it all, a Knight's Armorment SR 15 with a full auto conversion kit. With a suppressor, IR laser, handstop, and 5 times magnification optic designed for use with night vision, and a red dot on top, all made the weapon significantly more deadly than it would have normally been. William had Spent the past 2 hours modifying bear tranquillizers to work inside of 5.56 cartridge's. All within a 50 round extended drum magazine. But, oddly enough, one thing was missing. Twilight. 

"Oh well, don't need her anyway." He pulled down his goggles, and vaulted over the railing of the low balcony he was standing on. Landing behind a rosebush, he made his way down a path. Before coming to the inner wall. There, through the NVG's, he caught a glimpse of purple fur. He reached out and snatched the alicorn, pulling her into the bush. " Twilight! Twilight! Stop fighting, it's me, William!" A few seconds later, Spike came tumbling in after her. " You didn't show up when and where I asked you. So I started myself. Do me a favor, stay out of my way." He dropped her, and disappeared into the darkness. 

"What just happened?" Spike asked Twilight, "  I have no idea."

"Alright... where's- Ah!" He felt along the base of the wall, and, with one  good pull, tore away the painted sheetrock, revealing a hidden tunnel leading into the bowels of the castle. He climbed on though it, and covered the entrance with shrubs.  The hallway appeared to have been neglected over the years, on account of the dust hanging in the air, and the cobwebs. He had gone about a hundred yards before he heard wings flapping. And from the quick pitter-patter that they made, it didn't take long for him to realize that it was a batpony.  With a sigh, he ducked behind a wooden barrel, waited for it to approach, then jumped up and fired once into it's neck. The mare froze, and dropped in mid air. " Sorry about that." He whispered as he passed her. From there he found a stairway leading up to the castle library. 

Lit only by moon and candle light at this hour. He moved swiftly up the nearest staircase, stopping briefly to avoid a unicorn patrol. He climbed out of the window, and from there. Straight for a least another 150 yards, and up 30 feet until he was staring through the stained glass window's of the throne room. With a quick sweep though his primary optic, he discerned that the room was empty. Except for a flock of sleeping birds which he didn't entirely recognize. Repositioning himself above the throne, he hooked a length of paracord onto the decorative marble, hoked it onto a carabiner on his waist, 'gently,' removed the window, and rappelled down. He stopped right above the throne. Sure enough, the foil crown was sitting there. With no guards in sight.

"Why would they just leave their crown unattended on their throne? Wouldn't their crowns be by their bedsides?" William groaned at the ignorance of the royals. But snatched it up anyway. And ascended back up, putting the glass back in place once he was outside. He turned around, and looked out at the vast open expanse below him, it was a good half mile to the ground from where he was standing. He didn't have his wings at this moment, what he did have was a parachute, which, thanks to his magic, had a guaranteed chance of opening. So, he pulled the cord, and jumped. And just like that, he was gone. The fake crown along with him. He didn't have the stamina to walk back home. Or the patience to wait for a train. So he circled back around to Canterlot, and booked a hotel room. Needless to say, the unicorn at the front desk was more than a little bit concerned when William came walking on in looking like he was about to take on the entire royal guard. And he didn't even bother to ask about the placebo crown he was holding. 

William awoke from his sleep. He had actually found his first time in an Equestrian hotel rather nice. Kind staff, comfortable beds, good food. He quickly got dressed, and left the establishment for Canterlot castle. 

The six, Shining armor, and princesses were clustered about in the throne room. Wondering what had happened the night before, the six had already confessed that they hadn't been the ones to take it. Then, William walked in, wearing the crown. "So, what's my prize?"
> Uncommon Ground
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As lone tumbleweed blew through William's field of view, he rubbed his temples. "The hell am I doing out here?" He sat down on a nearby rock, and continued his moping. He had been asked to run security for the annual buckball game in Applelosa. A small western-esque town in the middle of nowhere. Under the promise that he would be financially compensated for his work. Which, seeing that this was well... Equestria, mostly just involved sitting around waiting for something to happen. In all honesty, he didn't care about the game, he hated most sport's, with the exception of 4, paintball, airsoft,  capture the flag, and dodgeball.  

William cracked his neck as he stood up again, the rays of sun glaring off his glasses. William walked back on into town, stopped by the bar, was momentarily disappointed at the lack of root beer, and snatched a glass of water up instead. But as he pulled his cowl down and began to sip, he felt a hoof tap on his shoulder.

"Joey, sit down." The alicorn did as asked, taking a place 2 seats down from him. "So, what is it?"  Joey scratched behind his  ear. "Well, I've been thinking about giving the whole buckball thing a try-" William shrugged, "Ok, if you want to, go right on ahead. But remember, you weren't any good at  basketball back in high school, and I'm not gonna be in the crowd cheering you on. His friend nodded. " Eh, that's ok. What are you planning on doing?" William tapped his fist against the counter, and the waitress refilled his water. "They hired me as security. Promised me a pretty hefty paycheck if I did.  Other than than, I think I'll just walk around, check out what this town has to offer. Looks more... Me, if you know what I mean." Joey realized that he was referencing its old western look. " If you say so, hey, I'm gonna head out, I'll be at the stadium if you wanna talk more." William waved him away, downed the rest of his glass, placed a gold  coin on the counter, and walked off. As he left, another tumbleweed blew by. 


"Wha- seriously?" He turned to the first pony he could see and shouted. " Hey, y'all know you've got a tumbleweed problem in this town. These things don't just appear out of nowhere!"  All he got back was a myriad of confused stares. " I don't know what to tell ya William. It's like they just got mind's of their own." It was Applejack, hauling a cart of apples. " Well that's no damn excuse! It's just a dead bush. And don't give me that, 'keeping the town rustic,' crap, I've met more rednecks in my time than you have ponies, and they've all told me the same thing. Most of them, but they were drunk." She raised an eyebrow, " Uh, hope ya don't mind me asking,  but, what's a redneck?" William sighed, and leaned up against a fence post. " Well, you might as well sit down, I've got one hell of a story to tell you."

"And then, they rode off into the sunset. burger's in hand, bluegrass country blasting on the radio  and .45's at their sides." Applejack was smiling. This was the most entertaining story some creature had told her all day, but on the other hoof, she couldn't help but be concerned at the way William glorified them. " They sound like nice folks." Was her answer, William gave her a thumbs up, " That's good enough for me."

The 2 of them parted way's, William walked off towards the stadium. As he was passing by the museum , he caught sight of Rainbow Dash arguing with a brown earth pony. "Hey, what are you 2 talking about? I'm only asking because I have nothing else." The stallion looked up at William, who tipped his patrol cap. He let out a nervous chuckle, " Heh, hit there, names Quibble, I was just telling Rainbow Dash here about how much I love buckball!" William folded his arms, and tugged on his rifle sling. 

"Hah hah,  unfortunately for you, I know a liar when I see one. And hearing one only confirms it. Creatures far wiser than you have tried, and all that earned them was an early grave. Name's William." William smiled as he said it, Quibble meanwhile, gulped in terror. "Uh, well, pleased to meet you." The pony hesitantly raised up his right hoof, William bent down and shook it.  "Same, so, if you aren't actually much of a  fan of this sport, why are you here?"

"Yeah... I was just about to ask him the same question, why you're here Quibble?" Rainbow quipped.  William looked behind him, and noticed a pink unicorn mare and pegasus filly walking towards him. "Rainbow Dash, William, I'd like you to meet, Clear Sky, the most most amazing pony I've ever met."

"Uh, you've met Daring Do so, that's probably an exaggeration. No offence."

None taken,  when it comes to describing your special somepony, a little exaggeration is normal."
William groaned, "So, you're married?" They both nodded. William bit his tongue. "And who's your daughter?" William smiled at the pegasus filly, " This is Wind Sprint, my daughter." Clear Sky responded,  Wind rolled her eyes.  "And she is pretty amazing." Quibble pulled her up onto his back. " Y'all can keep doing... whatever it is you were doing, I'm gonna go bully some tumbleweeds. oh, and Quibble, free tip, pay more attention to your daughter." He raised and eyebrow as William gleefully jogged off.

" I'm actually starting to like this place, reminds me a bit of good 'ol Arizona." William thought to himself as he trekked through the Applelosa desert, and stopped to take a break under a butte. Oddly enough it seemed that the Equestrian desert almost entire lacked snakes, spiders, or scorpions.  But even so, William's common sense had taught him to be warry of rocks in the desert. And so before sitting down, he looked underneath. Only then did he sit down, take out his canteen, and take a sip. When all of a sudden, he felt the ground shake. " Earthquake?" It kept shaking, then the ground in front of him began to spew dirt. Something he recognized very quickly from his favorite movie franchise. Tremors. " Wait, no-" A massive wormlike creature with mandibles erupted from the ground. William jumped back, and began running. " Oh, ####!!!" He shrugged as he ran, " Where's Burt Gummer when you need him?" William asked himself, swapping his current rifle for a Barret .50 caliber loaded with armor piercing rounds. 

Though the addition of the 20 pound rifle weighed him down, he was still able to make it to a rocky outcropping, where he promptly spun around. Took aim at the growing mound of dirt, and fired. The monster made a guttural shriek as the round it it. William fired again. And this time, it stopped moving entirely. " That was fun. " He murmured to himself, with no hint of emotion in his voice he went back to his far lighter carbine.  And began the long walk back towards town. It was about 5 in the afternoon at this point. And he had a few things to check up on, number one being the job he was hired for. Well, the contract didn't specify weather or not he had to stay within the confines of the town. 

He walked around the exterior of the buckball field until he found Joey, " Where have you been for the past 2 hours? You should've seen me! I think I just found a new hobby-" William groaned, and slumped up against the wall. "Just doing what I could with what I had." He racked the bolt of his rifle halfway back, and let it fly forward again. The alicorn raised an eyebrow, " Movie reference." William whispered. "Personal favorite. " He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a gory fang. "Tore this thing out of the Graboid's maw." The alicorn just continued his blank stare. "I'm sorry, a what?" William waved him away. "I'll tell you later."  

As soon as William turned away from him, he was greeted with a very angry unicorn mare, the one who had hired him in the first place. "William, where have you been!? I've been getting reports of a monster out in the desert-" She paused, and looked at the fang in WIlliam's gloved hand." Oh, nevermind. Well, are you enjoying yourself?" William rolled his eyes. " Of course, why wouldn't I?"  He forced a laugh. The mare didn't catch onto what he was implying, and skipped off as though nothing had happened. He went off in the opposite direction heading down main street. The Graboid he had just ended a half hour earlier had mad e his imagination run even more wild than it already was.  After all, if they where real in this world, what other things from his favorite franchises were? Perhaps he could stumble across a stargate in the Everfree. Or Martin Rigg's strolling through downtown Canterlot. Hell, he wouldn't have been surprised if Space Marines started falling from the sky....

"Ah, I've got it!" William sped off back towards the stadium where he snatched up Joey, and dragged him along in search of Twilight. The first words out of his mouth were, "Where can I find some good concert venue in Applelosa?"

For Tim Montana and his band, it was just another day of driving from small town to small town. Preforming at bars and occasionally on stage. Now, he was back at his studio. The last thing he was expecting at this time of day, something he never imagined would happen. Was for a miniature blue and white horse and a middle aged man dressed in full battle kit to just come walking on in.  His whole crew was silent as they stared at the duo. " Uh, I don't recall setting up an interview with a winged unicorn and a LARPer." Tim whispered. William spoke up first. 

" Uh, hi there, my name's William you probably don't remember me, but I went to one of your concerts in California a few years ago. I was your youngest fan there. And, I have a proposition for you. How would you feel about preforming in another dimension?" He blinked. " Wait, what?"  Joey rolled his eyes, " Hello sir, name's Joey. I'm a friend of William." The band of rednecks stood  there in front of them, scratching their heads. " It can talk?" Was their answer. William  sighed, " Yes, he can. Honestly, I thought you guy's would be just a tad bit more weirded out." One of the band members shrugged, " Eh, we've seen weirder. So, what's this dimension like? And, what are you?" William's nervousness grew. He proceeded to give the standard, " Welcome to Equestria speech, this is how things work speech." To them, and they actually took it well.  And, better yet, they accepted.

" What are you so happy about?" Joey asked, flicking his ears as they left the studio and headed for the exit portal. " My favorite singer is going to preform in Equestria, what do you think?" They chuckled, and stepped through the portal.

Several hours later..

A crowd of curious ponies had gathered around a stage near the center of town. William and Joey have been busy spreading the word about it. Though, William didn't mention that the creature preforming was human. Or that he was one of William's favorite singers. As the sun set on Applelosa, A crowd of humans walked out onto the strange with their instruments. They looked out on the crowd of colorful equines with a mixture of bewilderment and  confusion. They took their places. William walked up from behind the stage. " Hey, you good?" He asked them. " Yeah." Tim Montana responded. "Again, I can't thank you enough for agreeing to this." William gave him a thumbs up and hopped off stage. He took a seat next to Joey. 

"Uh, alright. Hello there, my names Tim Montana, know, in all honesty when I got a request to play in Equestria. I couldn't really believe but, here I am. I'm here to play some music,  y'all can just kick on back and enjoy it. Alright?" An assortment of 
confused cheers erupted from the crowd, and they began playing. William and the ponies of Equestria may have been on uncommon ground when it came to most things. But music, was universal. Music and bullets. 


> Alpine Blues
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Far from the relatively tame Equestrian heartland, a certain trio of villain's where brainstorming ideas for taking over Equestria. All under the watch of a mysterious talking supernatural goat by the name of Grogar. For the most part, Grogar seemed to be worried about Twilight. But Cozy Glow and Chrysalis knew better, they had both been defeated on multiple occasions by a creature by the name of, 'William. ' Also known as the Quiet Kid. Who struck at them with merciless efficiency and with weapons the likes of which they had never before seen, or even imagined. Chrysalis  had lost a significant portion of her hive to him. And Cozy's plot to remove all magic from Equestria had been foiled by, contrary to what the records say. William and William alone. Tirek on the other hoof, was dubious. 

Sure, he had seen William, or at least, something that looked like him down in Tartarus, and had watched him blow a hole in the side of a mountain with relative ease, but that was the extent of this creatures powers which he had observed. The things that the devious little pegasus and the former changeling queen were talking about was something else entirely. 

As it happens, minotaur's  are not the sharpest tools in the proverbial shed. Mentally, that is. Literally, they actually are. Considering that they've been known to be able to tear earth ponies limb from limb if they so desired. Unbeknownst to the other 2, Chrysalis wasn't fully opposed to William. The 2, more or less had a mutual understanding of one another. William knew that she wasn't inherently evil, she was just trying to care for her hive. Which she had lost about a year prior. And Chrysalis understood that William was an all powerful psychopath with the power to wipe who ever he wanted off the face of the planet whenever he wanted. That, and, he was the first creature to ever voluntarily smile at her.  

Currently, they were all busy sitting around a table, arguing over... whatever Equestrian villains argue about. War crimes, perhaps?  When Grogar trotted in. "I'm leaving, since it's impossible to accomplish the work I need to do here. I suggest the 3 of you come to some kind of accord! I don't care, but you must learn to work together, only then can we accomplish what you so greatly desire, the defeat of Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and.... ugh, the Quiet Kid." 

Meanwhile in Ponyville...

"I'm telling you Joey, it's alright. I know it was an accident. " William muttered as he limped along,  he had recently found himself in a rather hairy situation, and, had asked Joey to help him out. But rather than doing that, Joey crashed into William, and his left hoof into his unarmored thigh. He was now limping his way through town on the way to the nearest ice cream parlor. You never had to go far in Equestria to find one. " Vanilla, one scoop." William limped his way up to the counter, and slammed the single bit down on the counter. The stallion behind the counter flinched, and took it. Handing him his cone in turn. Which he took outside and began chomping away at.  

As he fought to take his mind off the screaming pain in his right leg. He got the bright idea of taking a hike. Out in the middle of nowhere. He was sick of the Everfree forest. He missed high alpine forests, something Rocky Mountains esque would do perfectly. He went home, pulled out a map of Equestria. And started looking. It wasn't long before something new caught his eye. 

"Mount Everhoof, huh?" He asked himself, it was in the far north of the continent, right around where the crystal empire was. Perfect for what he wanted, a nice summer camping trip in the middle of absolutely no where.  "Joey! I found a place up north, we're going camping. Might wanna pack a jacket!" 

later that day...

The train ground to a halt at the end of the tracks, deposited it's only 2 passengers, and pulled away. Leaving William and the alicorn standing on a degrading wood deck in the middle of nowhere. William's brought along a field pack with enough food and water for 4 days. Anything else he could just manifest whenever he wanted.  Joey had just brought his saddle bags, and the jacket William had recommended. A gust of wind blew across the deck, causing William to shiver for a moment. Far off in the distance, William could see an lone mountain piercing through the clouds, far larger than the one Canterlot sat atop. 

Around Mount Everhoof  was a seemingly tame pine forest with rolling hills which progressively got steeper and more aggressive the closer you got to the mountain. The top quarter of the mountain seemed to be perpetually consumed by a massive windstorm. " Hey, William, do think Ponyville will be ok while we're gone?" Expecting a reassuring answer, what he got instead was a flat, "No. " Followed by a laugh. A very, very long laugh. Before slinging his rifle over his shoulder and heading off down the trail. The alicorn followed close behind. Wondering what the hay was wrong with his friend. 

"Ah, everywhere I go in this place, it never stops being beautiful. William had paused for a moment at the top of a cliff to gaze out over the forest. " The advantage of hiking out here versus on earth is that there's no planes to ruin the moment. And, you don't need a license to kill the stuff that does here!"  There was no response, only the calm whistling of the wind blowing through the trees. He just stood there, admiring it. Until  Joey flew past him. And hovered in place off to the side. "Enjoying the view?" He asked. "Yeah, get out of the damn way." William took a knee, and unslung his rifle, peering through his scope, he surveyed the forest, until he spotted a break in the trees right at the edge of a lake.  He puled the map out of his BDU cargo pocket, unfolded it, and examined the area. " Joey, see that clearing by the lake about a klick away?" His friend looked down at him with confusion, what? I don't speak military."

" Half a mile away, down there." He pointed to it. Joey nodded, and took off, William just stood there, still mildly in pain from the hoof he had received to the thigh. "It's like he forgot I can barely walk.#### it, I'm only holding on because my ego prevents me from quitting because of something so pathetic." William groaned, and began the trek down to the lake. 


As William made his way through the evergreen trees and alpine brush he came across a branching trail. Oddly enough, this one had 3 sets of hoof tracks in it, leading away from him and towards the mountain. Even stranger still, was that he recognized one of them. " Chrysalis, what are you doing here?" He knelt down, and put his gloved hand down next to  one of the prints. " And I was just- Actually I wasn't. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long to go to ####. Eh, I'm to lazy to go out hunting for her and her companions. I'll just keep a look out for her." He got back up, did as quick area sweep with his eyes, and went off on his way. Before long, he found the campsite. A clearing about 25 yards from end to end, and Joey. Who was napping against a rock. " Should I wake him up? Nah. William dropped the gear pack on the ground in front of him. Which he secured with a simple combination lock and a stake to the ground.

Immediately after securing his gear, he snapped his fingers, and  an olive green tent appeared in front of him. 3 yards to the left, he set up Joey's tent. Duck taped a sticky note saying not to go looking for him to his tent, and headed off into the woods in search of the former changeling queen.



After about 20 minutes of walking, he had come to another overhand. This one was at a much higher elevation, and small patches of snow were beginning to cluster about, regardless of the weather, he was still determined to find the reason Chrysalis was here. As he reached the very top, and took up a position on a rocky outcropping. He spotted a faint glimpse of  a greenish carapace disappearing into the woods about a quarter mile away. He swapped his BDU's for a ghillie suit which, thanks to his powers, was perfectly tailored for the environment. And, as with before, he peered on through the 8 times magnification sight of an M110 marksman rifle for a better look. It wasn't long before he had a clear sight of her. "Where are you going?" He watched a collection of dark figures watch her from from the cover of the treeline. William momentarily debated weather or not to help her by shooting a few of them from here. It was only a few hundred yards, and  he had the optic and the stability to do it if he wanted to. But he just lay there and watched. 

Sure enough, she dealt with it on her own, muttered something he couldn't hear at this distance, and continued on as though nothing had happened. "Whatca looking at?"  William rolled his right eye over, " Damnit Joey, it's classified." 

"Oh really, lemme guess, by you?"
"No idiot, by the royals, what do you think? It's Chrysalis, came across her tracks earlier in the woods. And naturally, I started wondering, what could possibly have  made her come out here? I wasn't going to put a 7.62 by 51 full metal jacket in her skull!" Joey cocked his head, "A what?" William sighed, " Nevermind,  do you mind?" He motioned for the alicorn to go fly away. And went back to the scope, but by the time he had his eye in the optic, she was out of sight. Off to  who  knows where. Well, he thought he knew.  With a sigh he packed up his rifle, and headed back to camp. Walking around all day on a bad leg was beginning to hurt just a little to much for comfort. 


With his stamina and patience both spent, he collapsed on a folding camp chair just outside his tent. "Joey, would you mind setting up the campfire ring?" The alicorn trotted off into the woods, and turned with half a tree trunk. " Will this do?" William groaned, and stood up. "Nevermind, just... set it off to the side. I'll do it." He painfully got up, and hobbled off into the bushes, he came back 2 minutes later with an armful of dry tree limbs and pine needles. " Grab some rocks from the lakeside. It's about time someone explains to you the proper way to start a campfire."

Several botched magnesium and steel strikes later...

"...And, there ya go. A nice warm fire, at 7 in the evening." Joey paced back and forth along the waters edge, " What did you mean when you said it was gonna be cold!?" William chuckled as he dropped himself into a chair and crossed his legs. "I asked you to bring that because I thought it would be colder. Wheas it's actually quite nice." As he said that the sun dipped below the horizon, and at the same time, the moon rose. He reached into the kindling pile and gently placed a few small branches on top of the ones  that were already burning.  

"You hungry?" Joey nodded. " Did you bring food?" William nodded, " Yes, I did, he walked over to his backpack. And pulled 2 bags out of it, one held granola and daisy's, the other beef jerky and pretzels. " Here you go." William handed Joey the bag with the granola. "Did you seriously go out of your way to buy flowers?" His friend asked with skepticism. William shook his head, " Nope, stole 'em out of a flower planter at Twilight's school. They've got plenty anyway. " William's expression went back into a frown as he pulled out a piece of beef jerky and stuffed it into his mouth, and washed it down with a pretzel. He repeated this process until the bag was empty, pausing in between bites to glimpse out at the pristine lake. 

As he gradually sloped back into his chair, he began to hear rustling from the bushes, and, being that his friend was right next to him. It was likely looking for food, a fight, or both. In a flash he pulled a set of augmented NVG 18's down over his head and swept the area round the camp with an IR laser mounted to an M4A1. Through the tree's he spotted what looked like a... Slug with bull horns? This place never ceased being weird. He trained the laser on the creatures head, and fired a 3 round burst. Two struck it creatures back, one went high. It let out a screech of pain and slithered off.

Now, even though a pony's vision in the dark is better than that of a human's\\. In this case, the woods and meadow beyond the light of the campfire, were pitch black for Joey. He heard the bushes behind them rustle, then  saw was William shoot up from his chair, manifest a set of night vision goggles, and fire into the trees. " What was it!?" He called out, his ears still ringing from the gunshots. The particular suppressor William had screwed onto the barrel of his rifle was still pretty loud. Normally, the decibel  range it lowered the gunshot to wouldn't have been a problem.  Joey's ears made the gunshots significantly louder than they actually were. 

"Monster. "William daeadpanned, "Slithered off into the trees. " Joey's flicked his ears back up, " Did you just say slither?" William nodded, " Yep. Just another day in the Equestrian wilderness, ain't it?" Joey was mildly concerned that William was taking this so causally. William was in fact, quite unhappy that his camping trip had been ruined, and wanted to go charging in after the snake-bull thing that had ruined his calm, and slit it's throat. 
"Wait here, this will get ugly."  

William disappeared into the darkness, leaving Joey sitting there with a confused expression on his face. " Seriously? You're just leaving me out here, alone!?" He called out, only to receive a reply of, "You're an alicorn, just fly away if anything tries to kill you!"  Joey sneered at the darkness. But all he got back was the sound of distant cricket's and owls chirping and hooting. And a faint wind blowing through the trees.

"Hmmm..." William thought to himself as he hurried through the dark forest with his gun at high ready. He was following the creature's track's in the mud. " Where are you going?" He looked down at his watch 8: 15, it read.  He chased the wounded creature through the woods for all of 10 minutes. 

When at last, he found it. Halfway through being cocooned by  Chrysalis. That wasn't even the oddest part, what he found far more concerning was the fact that Cozy glow and Tirek were sitting around a campfire just a few feet away from her.  He watched them from the cover of the forest, staying as silent and unmoving as he possibly could.  
"How did they get out of Tarturus!?" 
His mind screamed, his interest in finishing off the monster was gone. Now replaced by the oh so savory thought of executing the 2 right then and there. William had lost his patience with Cozy Glow, her being a pony no longer mattered to him. Last he heard she had been thrown into Tartarus. Chrysalis he was ok with letting walk free. Provided she would either get reformed or seek out some therapy for her... Issues.  He would have just gone back to his camp and left it at that. But he still wanted the reason for the being out here.   Using his amplified ear protection, he took up a more comfortable spot behind a tree, and listened in on their conversation.

" You cocoon all of your meals?"  Cozy glow asked, holding a marshmallow on a stick between her hooves. "Of course," Chrysalis responded,  holding up her black hoof as though it was common knowledge. 

"So when you when you ponynaped Twilight and the other's, you cocooned them?" William made a mental note to talk with Twilight when he got back home, clearly the end of his first visit didn't end the changeling threat in Equestria. He  had heard a little bit about it from the perspective of Chrysalis.  He had yet to discuss the defeat of his sworn enemies with Twilight or any of the others.  

"Yes, until Starlight Glimmer freed them, corrupted my subjects and stole my hive!" She growled out, William rolled his eyes at that remark, as she most certainty wasn't currently ruling over the reformed changelings. "Those ponies have weaknesses, " Tirek remarked. William fought back a laugh, "Keep talking #### buddy, keep talking ####." He flexed his hand. 

"I used that turncoat Discord, tricked him into helping me capture his so called, friends." 
"Yeah, Discord was really something until friendship ruined him." Chrysalis added with a depressed sigh. " Hey, what about William? Cozy Glow asked. " What about him, why do you think he sided with Twilight?"
" Don't really know, perhaps it has something to do with that 5th alicorn?" Tirek blinked, " Fifth alicorn, you're telling me there's another one out there?" Cozy nodded, and took her marshmallow out of the fire,  " Yeah, his name's Joey. I actually met him a few times, he's pretty nice. I wouldn't lump him in with the same category as the princesses. " 

"The first time I ever met him was the cliff face of a mountain overlooking Ponyville. He had just slaughtered the combined forces of my hive, the dragons, and the griffons. And he was perfectly fine with it! No remorse whatsoever!  Only a causal recommendation that I schedule  a meeting rather than attacking a town the next time I wanted to talk with him.  And get this, he had the audacity to scratch behind my ear! And you know what, I actually kind of liked it!!!' She was practically fuming at this point. William just sat there, enjoying the commotion. 

They went on to make fun of Twilight and her friends. Chrysalis even transformed into Twilight for a little bit. William just sat there and watched from the shadows, "Damn, she should take up a career as a stand up comedian. She's actually pretty good.  William remarked. After a while, it seemed as though the finally came to an accord. They would all cooperate with one another so long as it resulted in the complete antihalation of their enemies. And then, he finally heard it, the reason they were here. They were after something called, Grogar's bell. Which was apparently stashed at the top of Mount Everhoof.  The winds up there were far, far  to powerful and unpredictable to fly up there. And There wasn't a chance in hell that he was going to try scaling the thing. He may have been a good shot with a rifle. But when it came to climbing, well, he was no Bear Grylls. " Yeah, screw that. I've been out long enough, time to go back to camp. First thing tomorrow we're breaking camp and heading back home... After a lap around that lake, it's been to long since I've swam in water that didn't give me a severe case of thalassophobia. " He turned around, pulled his goggles back down, and head back into the dead of night.
> Never Catch a Break
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Twilight! Starlight!" William swung the doors of the castle aside and walked on in as calmly as way possible. "We need to  talk!"  He had just gotten home from a rather... Relaxing camping trip in the far north with Joey. The arrival of a certain changeling turned it from just a camping trip into a half camping trip half scout sniper mission. Now, he hadn't killed much of anything while out in the woods spying on Chrysalis and her 2 companions. And while most of it he intended to keep  secret, there were still a few broader questions he had a few questions for Twilight and her friends.

1. Please explain all previous encounters with hostile changlings after I left

2. How the hell did y'all almost lose your entire kingdom to Tirek?

3. Is Starlight Glimmer still a communist? 

The last one was particularly infuriating for him. He thought he had left that nonsense behind when he had left earth. But no, apparently it has to follow him wherever he goes. And some of the rumor's he had heard from some, 'informants' hadn't exactly been reassuring. William was most certainly on the more aggressive side of the 'America good,' spectrum.  Back on earth, whenever someone started trash talking his nation in public, or on the internet he usually had a tendency to... Well... lose it. And casually remind the neckbeard's on the other side of the screen that the only reason they could wine about their issues with the government publicly was because of of the 1st amendment. And that the the 2nd protects the 1st. He preferred arguing with people face to face. Because the cowards didn't have a screen to hide behind. 

"Yes William!? Where have you been?" The doors to the castle's library swung open and Twilight poked her head out from behind it. " Hey Twilight, uh, I've been out camping with Joey. And while I was out there, I got really deep in thought. And I've got a few things to ask you." He gave her his questions. And she beckoned for him to come inside and sit down. And explained everything to him. Well, almost everything. She didn't have a answer for the whole, 'communist,' thing.

"Alright, is that everything?" William nodded, "Yep." He scratched his neck, and tapped the cushioned arm- hoof rest on the seat. "Sorry I couldn't give you an answer for the last thing. You should go on and ask her." He stood up and left without saying bye. Obviously, he hadn't told her about his encounter in the woods. He knew she'd freak out and contact the princesses. And that was something he couldn't allow.  This didn't need to be blown out of proportion. And so he had decided pretty early on that would keep this knowledge between himself and Joey. He shut the castle doors and looked out at the town. " How did this happen?" He asked himself, " How could a species like this be so incapable of taking  care of themselves? I was a damn miracle they lasted this long. But now he was here. He wasn't here to be Superman. He was here to enjoy himself. And fight fight's worth fighting. He whistled to himself as he walked through through the outskirts of town on his way to Starlight's office in the School of Friendship. He still hadn't gotten over the name. 


"Oh please, it's not real! And even if it is, there's no evidence to back it up!" He turned around to find Granny Smith, Applejack's grandma. Yelling about some, 'spirit of nature,' which was inhabiting her families orchard. Out of curiosity, he decided to walk over and ask her about it. He had learned to be warry of Equestrian superstitions, well, some of them. Mostly just the supernatural ones, because they often had their basis in fact. 

"So, what are you talking about?" He asked the old earth pony, " Oh, hi there. Oh, I was just explaining to this stallion over here that earth spirit that Golden Delicious keeps going on and on about isn't real! Goes by the name of The Great Seedling" William snorted. And looked just beyond her to catch a glimpse of a dark green earth pony galloping away "That's the actual name of an actual pony? Wow, this place is running out of ideas!" He clasped his head and shook it.  "Tell me more about this creature." She chuckled, " Oh, I'm afraid you'd have to go find her if you want more information. She's up by the farm helping with the harvest." William smiled, " Thanks. Also , harvest time?" He reached into a pocket and pulled out a calendar, " Holy ####! It's August already?" He walked away with a sigh. As the saying goes, time flies when you're having fun, when you're trying not to get killed, or both. 

William was sure to attempt to validate or disprove Mrs. Delicious's claims. He finally believed he had found a contender for creature with the weirdest name in Equestria. But first, he had to go  have a... "Talk," With one Starlight Glimmer. He barged over to the school, and knocked on her window. " Hey! Starlight, let me in! We need to talk!" 
"Hold one William, I'll be right there!"
He waited for a moment as hoof steps closed in on the window, then it slid open.  At the same time, he climbed on in, and shut the window behind him. " Why can't you just use the door like a normal creature?" She asked him. William chuckled as his face darkened. " Nice to see you too Starlight. I need to have a, talk with you about some things you did a while ago."

"What things?" William scowled, " I'll word it simply, are you a communist?" She smiled awkwardly, " Well, I was, but not anymore. Listen, I owned up to my mistakes. I enslaved those ponies against their will." William nodded, " Alright, that's good to hear. The relation between commies and I is kind of... Ifiy, if you get what I'm implying." She sat back down in her desk chair, " No, I don't." William waved, "Ah, don't worry about it. Hey, unrelated question, do you know anything of a nature sprit that inhabits the Apple farm? Look's like cross between a deer and a tree? Goes by the name of, 'The Great Seedling?" She shrugged.
"No, unfortunately, I don't. Is that everything?"
"Yes." He vaulted over her desk, slid the window open, and hopped out. He hit the ground running. " Thanks for the help. He was heading south, towards the Apple family's farm.   

William walked thought the gates at the edge of the farm, and immediately spotted the pony he was looking for. "Good morning Applejack, how's the harvest going?" He gave her a wave. Which she, and Applebloom returned in kind.  " Y'all have any information regarding, this, Great Seedling thing?" He watched as a smile crept over the filly's muzzle. " Did you hear William? He think's it's real." She looked from her sister to the confused operator, " You do think it's real, right?" William brought up his hands. "Eh... I need proof. Which I'm looking for, and no, I don't want Golden's help. Or information, other than a rough description of the creature. "  This was something Applejack herself was able to provide him with. 

"I'll have ya know, I stopped believing in it a long time ago." William rolled his eyes, " It's to you earth ponies as Bigfoot is to rednecks. I understand." He turned away, and began looking for a place to set up shop. " That hill looks like a nice place,  hey, Applejack? Are you ok with me hiding out in a tree?" She was already off helping Big Mac with something. 



The particular hill he had chosen overlooked the rest of the farm. He had chosen a tree on the southern most slope on it. With wide, sturdy branches and a clear view of the entire farm. It would be the perfect place to make a stand against any invading force. Or in this case, a place for William to keep a lookout for that so called, "Great Seedling." Which, after some more research at the town library. He think he had an answer for, a small portion of sentient deer in Equestria seemed to be naturally imbued with magical powers rivaling that of Equuestria's most powerful unicorn wizards from birth. A small portion of those possessed immortality. So, as it happens, this, 'earth spirit.' May not have been a spirit after all, but rather, one of those special deer. And with their close connection to nature. It made perfect sense that this one would have taken up the task of nurturing farms all around Equestria. Now, up until now, there hadn't been any physical of photographic evidence of it, but, with William now on the hunt. He hoped to be able to meet it in person, and maybe even have a conversation with it. 

For this particular event, he had pulled out all the stops which he had. That being, all of his hunting knowledge from back on earth.  Now, he sat on a tree, with an infrared thermal scope attached to the to a top end of  bipod. Sipping apple cider, and watching the shadows grow longer and longer as the sun dipped over the horizon. He hadn't seen Joey all day, but as far as he was concerned. That wasn't really important. He had amplified ear protection over his ears. And a country playlist playing over it. "My Rifle, My Pony, and Me." Was playing over them.  He cleaned the cider off his cheek, and rocked his feet. 

"And so, the sun set's on another Equestrian day. " In an instant, the sun set over the horizon, and the mon began peaking up over the western horizon. Along with it came the stars. As soon as this happened, he peered through the scope just in time to see Applejack and her sister heading home. From their attire, William could tell that they had also been looking for the immortal deer. Obviously to no avail. To him, it meant nothing, just because they had failed didn't mean he would. Especially not with his equipment. 

As the hours slowly ticked by, William began to grow more complacent. He would much rather have been waling around looking for the creature. But in this case, he was acting in the roll of an ambush predator. He rocked himself back to rub his tired eyes, and tipped back to look back into the scope. As he did, he spotted just what he was looking for, the vague shape of a massive deer. Hopping into a bush, and out of William's line of sight.

"Bingo. Why did I say that, I hate Bingo." He snarled to  himself as he folded his gear up, made it disappear, and crept down into the dark farm. " Another conspiracy in the bag. There, that's a better saying." He murmured to himself, tuning his headset to pick up hoof steps. 


"Wait, don't run. Who are you?" It was Joey, William had just heard his voice through the trees. He could also make out a second set of hooves. Quickly, he clamored his way through the bushes. And peaked his head out from behind a tree. It was Joey, sure enough, talking with the immortal deer. "An alicorn? Heh, I haven't been keeping up with the world. William watched the 2 introduce one another. Apparently, Joey had been out hunting for William, and had stumbled across the Great Seedling instead. William slowly stepped out. As soon as the deer spotted him, it turned to run. 

"Wait! I'm not going to hurt you, I see you've already met my friend." The deer paused, " Uh, I really have to go." William laughed, " Go where? As far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're a rural legend. A folk tale. Besides, I can keep a secret. Name's William," He stuck out his hand, and the deer stood there, and blinked at the both of them. "Well, you going to shake it?" He cautiously inched forward, and shook it. "Sorry, it's just, I haven't talked with any creature in a really long time. My name's Green Star. Though, you might know me as the Great Seedling."

William nodded," Eh, fair enough, I've gone by a few titles in my time as well. Stay a while and talk." And just like that, he had befriended yet another extremely powerful magical creature the felt suspiciously like something out of a Greek myth. And a rather nice one at that. Though, one he never intended to tell Applejack, or anypony else about.
> To Go Where no Operator Has ever Gone Before
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

With most of his weekly obligations filled. And his headspace clear, William had decided to head on home and read a little bit more. Sure, if he wanted to he could go and pick up a brand new book from the Ponyville library, but he was a stickler for his classics. And regardless of how many times he read  the work of the late Tom Clancy. It never seemed to get old. His books usually revolved around fictional counter terror groups.  The storytelling was on it's own was amazing, and that, combined with relatable settings, characters, and an attention to detail. All contributed to making one of William's favorite book series. It was impossible for him not to love it.  After picking up his favorite book among them, " Rainbow Six." He headed up to a nearby hilltop to look for a place to read his book in peace.

As William approached a bench beneath an oak tree toward the top, he found that it had already been taken by Rainbow Dash, and, not in a mood to get in an argument with her, nor wanting to interrupt her focus of... whatever it was she was reading. He just sat down next to her, set down his rifle, opened to the first page, and began reading. It wasn't long before she had glanced over at him, and began to grow curious what as to what he was so invested in. She glanced further, and tapped his shoulder." Hey, William." He practically jumped out of his boots. 

"What is it Rainbow?" He raised the brim of his helmet up to itch underneath it. " What are you reading?" William gave her a smirk. " Tom Clancy's Rainbow six. It's a classic from where I'm from." She scrunched up her muzzle, "Well, I've never heard of him. What's he like?" William's face darkened, " He passed away several years ago. I never met him in person, I just love his work." Rainbow sighed. "Well, sorry about that. What's it about?"
"Military fiction more specifically, an international special forces unit by the same name as the book itself. I'm not going to spoil it for you."

She didn't look very impressed. " What are you reading?" She grinned, then showed him the cover. He knew just enough about the show from earth to understand." Daring Do? Seriously? I've heard a bit about her, overated in my opinion." The look of swelling anger on her face said it all. " What the hay are you talking about!? Go on ahead, give it a try!" William took the book from her, read the first 2 pages. And rolled his eyes. "Sorry Rainbow. It just isn't for me. I mean, I love adventure novels, but this is just the slightest bit corny. You ponies don't know what's good. Just like those idiot's that think the game is better than the book series." She didn't get that last part. 

"Oh really, let me see!" William passed her the book. She opened it up, and began reading. William just sat there and watched her become captivated. " Hey, William... Would you mind if I borrowed this? I have to do some more... Uh, research . I'll let you borrow mine!" William chuckled, " Yeah, you can borrow it. You know if you like that one, I've got a pile of them back home. Feel free to drop by any time I'm not preoccupied. " She winced, " Eh, no thanks, I'm not an egghead." She said it as though it was a slur. 

" The hell did you just call me?" She gave him a smirk. " I will never understand why you and Twilight don't get along." She gave him a quick wave, and took off.  "Bring it back in one piece!" He yelled out. She was a good quarter mile out from him, and she still turned to acknowledge it.  He could be loud when he wanted to. Which was most of the time. 

"Whew, so..." He asked himself, patting his sides, he gave his war belt a firm tug. And walked off down the hill. Going east this time. It wasn't long before he found himself in unfamiliar wilderness, on the edge of a neglected wheat field. Right through it's center was a winding dirt path. Beyond it lay a forest, and beyond that the massive river which cut the nation in 2. It wound from Canterlot all the was to the base of Las Pegasus in the south.  William had spent many a night studying what maps of Equestria he could get his hands on. And despite all that he still kept one in a utility pouch on his vest. As he went on forward, he suddenly began to get the feeling that he was being followed. But kept walking. 

Rather than turning around, he instead unhinged his bayonet and began fiddling with the blade. Passive aggressiveness was always a good carefree way of getting rid of stalkers. Especially if they were ponies. Then, he heard hoof steps. One's he hadn't heard in a long, long time.  

"Ugh, hello Lyra. Are you trying to get yourself stabbed?" He spun around with his muzzle and bayonet high above him. She jumped back in surprise, " Hi William! I saw your friends preform in Applelosa. They were awesome!" The blue unicorn mare shouted. William sighed, and folded his bayonet. "Thanks, how's your day been?" William responded, he took a knee, rocking the kneepad back and forth on the ground.  He looked out at the forest.  She in turn, sat down next to him. " Oh, ok I suppose. Hey, do you have any backup copies of that guy's music? What was his name again?"

"Tim Montana." 
"Oh, weird name. They're for a friend of mine. Vinyl Scratch. " William smirked, and cracked his neck. " Eh, sure. Tell ya what, I'll even go out of my way to stop by later. But right now, I'd just like some space." He gave her a scratch behind her right ear, which she graciously excepted, and walked off into the forest. " And just like that, I'm alone again." William let his arms swing lazily along his sides as he walked through the grassy deciduous forest. Unlike the Everfree, which was usually dark and gloomy, with a wet and dense forest floor composed of decomposing plants, mud, and tree roots. That was only part of it, most of the time, it was far more passable than that.

This particular swath of wilderness was much more, how do the civilians put it? Ah yes, picturesque. A perfect carpet of green grass covered the forest floor. As for the trees, other than the occasional oak and willow, he didn't recognize most of them.  Aside from them, the odd bush was thrown in here and there. He could hear birds chirping in the distance, as well as water flowing. Which he made out to be the river. Sure enough, just 5 minutes later, he was at the bank on the massive river  running through the Equestrian heartland. All this time, he had no idea this was here. Now, obviously, he had seen it several times before. But had never taken the time to pay it a visit.  He looked north, out towards Canterlot, resting on the cliff face of the second highest mountain in Equestria. But even so, it still paled in comparison to the Rockies back on earth, or the Himalayas, for that matter. 

Regardless, there were those that would kill to be in his position. And he was grateful nonetheless. With an almost expressionless face, he slung his rifle over his shoulder and began pacing back and forth. Daydreaming. You see, one of William's more... Special qualities was his affinity for this, it helped him process thoughts, and it was a good way to pass the time when there was nothing else to do. And, considering he had loaned his book off to Rainbow Dash. He was most certainty bored. 

Well, not bored. But definitely not preoccupied with anything. 

A lone Blackhawk helicopter flew across the Utah desert in the dead of night.  Aboard it were 6 operators. All of their faces and distinguishing features hidden by their masks. Among them was William. Of course, with this being his world he already knew the premise. He was part of an MTF, or mobile task force. Working for the SCP foundation.  Experimentally, he looked out of the chopper. Down into the inky blackness of the desert. All of a sudden, something hit the helicopter.  And before he knew it, it had hit the ground in a massive fireball. For a few moments, everything was dark. He felt around in the darkness, scrambling out of his seat and out of the burning vehicle. As his gloved hand grasped at the rocky desert floor he suddenly felt something round and stubby grab his arm, and pull him out and away from the aircraft. 

"Hey, William? William! Are you alright!?" The voice cried out. Sarcastically, William held one of his fingers up, and wiped the soot away from his respirator. He blinked, and realized he was staring right into the face of a creature he was very familiar with. Mostly because it was, technically speaking, him. " Heh, afternoon bud. What are you doing here?" Hailstorm raised an eyebrow, and slapped him. " Ah, I'm just kidding, how are you doing?" William winced. "Oh, you know. Great, I loaned Rainbow Six of to Rainbow. And I think I may have gotten a few ponies to like my kind of music. " He gave him an awkward smile, " Well, I'm glad you're having fun." The pegasus- kirin hybrid laid his head on William's shoulder. And whispered into his ear, " Get back to real life, the tides coming in."  William practically fell through the ground, and stumbled right back into real life. Sure enough, his boot was soaking wet. And, it was past noon. He didn't care for the context to the scenario that he had made up in his head. He took one last look at the pristine river, and headed on home. The day wasn't over yet,  and he had yet to do any target practice.
> The Thunder Rolls
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Huh?" William's eyes shot open as he sat up in bed. He recognized the sound as thunder and rain. Something he hadn't heard in quite a while.  He rolled himself out of bed, caught himself before he hit the ground. And stumbled over to his window.

"Oh, would ya look at that?" He murmured, " We finally got a damn storm." William had always loved rainy weather. He never had to squint, that, and it always just seemed to make him happier. And as a person that was usually grumpy, that was important.  He cracked his back, walked downstairs. Grabbed a quick snack, threw a raincoat on over his kit, and headed out. As he stepped out of the door, a bolt of lightning arced out across the sky. " Time for a walk. " Most of his neighbors were inside. But the few that weren't acted with their usual amount of hospitality and curiosity. Of course, William just walked on by as usual, the only acknowledgement he gave them was a wave. As he left street, and headed south, he noticed that the clouds were gradually beginning to disappear. " Damnit," He cursed, stopping to look up at the sky. "Would y'all mind playing with the weather somewhere else?" 

" I don't think they can hear you."
"Joey, what have you been doing all morning?"
"I've been flying above the clouds." William shrugged, "Alright, can you go up there and tell them that William asked that they stop clearing the clouds and let me enjoy the storm? Cause If not, I'll slap a thermal sight on my optic and start picking them off from the ground." He laughed at the last part, but Joey took off anyway. The only reason he would ever threaten another creature is if they had wronged him in some serious manner.  Besides, Ponyville could use a little rain. It was sunny most of the year anyway. 

About 3 minutes later,  Joey returned. " Sorry," William cracked his knuckles, " Seriously? They actually think-"  William was interrupted when the weather ponies decided to drop a cloud on him. If it hadn't been for his jacket and poncho, he would have had to walk home soaking wet. His power to summon up any piece of military hardware may apply to uniforms, but it didn't dry it, or the angry Quiet Kid underneath, out. 

"#### you! He grumbled, " Giving his jacket a tug. " Y'all should be glad I don't have wings right now. And that I don't have  a thing against killing ponies!" He sighed, and walked off. Joey looked from the clouds, and the dim shapes of the pegasi above, and back to his angry friend. He flew off towards him, but froze in mid air when he heard a gunshot. William had graced the very tip of the left ear of the weather pony that had dumped all that water on him.  Joey winced, shook his head, and flew off after him. 

"I'm gonna go get my book back from Rainbow. William grumbled as the stomped his way into town. His near perfect morning had been ruined by a bunch of flying idiots. By now, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. William's jacket disappeared, and he stuffed the poncho into a vest pouch. He ran his gloves through his hair, and shook it. " Gah! It's still wet!" He caught sight of a little unicorn foal shouting for the, "Cutie Mark Crusaders?"  William scratched his head, and went to stop the little colt.  But he crashed into William first.

"Now hold on there little one, what's got you riled up?" He pulled the pony back up onto his hooves just as Joey showed up. " What'd you do now?" Joey asked with a roll of his eyes. " William glanced over at the colt. " Hey, he hit me first.'Twas an accident.  It was, an accident, right?" The colt nodded. 

"To answer your other question, I was looking for the CMC because I just got my cutie mark!" William glace over at his side, there lay the image of a slip knot. " So, lemme get this straight, you're mark, is a noose? What'd ya do? Hang somepony?" The grey-blue unicorn was vaguely unfazed by William's comment. And looked over at Joey's flank, " Hey, why don't you have one?" The alicorn's eyes widened, and he looked over at his side, "I've just... Never really needed one. I mean, I'm pretty good at most things I try. It's been 2 years, and one hasn't shown up. Besides, I've got more to worry about then a magic tattoo that's supposed to dictate my life. " William gave him a thumbs up. "Don't worry so much about it kid. But if you still wanna go pay 'em a visit. Well, I'm not stopping you." The colt gave him a nuzzle, and galloped off.

" How do you go from giving a weather pony a fur trim with a bullet to.. That?" William shrugged, " Redneck hospitality."

"But- You aren't a Redneck, how-" William gave him a scowl. " Stop while you're ahead. You already know you can't hurt my ego."  He stormed off, with his head held high this time. He was still determined to get that book back. " You know, Joey. Know that I think about it, there's a lot of places on this continent I haven't been. I've fought in a lot of places. Killed a lot of bad creatures. But this world is just as full, if not worse than earth. And I can actually do something here. I know I'm not indestructible, but I am... to put it lightly, very, very dangerous." Before Joey could give him an answer. He replied with: " Ah, who am I kidding? I'll do what I please, I'm not here to  wage other being's wars. I'm here of my own accord. Just something I learned a few years ago when I first showed up in this place."

" Oh look honey, another alicorn!" William glanced over his shoulder to find an orange pegasus and a brown earth pony stallion. Both were dressed in what he considered, " Jungle Explorer attire." Essentially what amounted to Indiana Jones wannabes. Personally he preferred jungle pattern BDU's and a ranger's hat with a mosquito net whenever he was out in the jungle.  " Are you- Seriously!? I've been living here for like, 2 years now!" Joey cried out, William could tell they were new in town. 

" We actually are, could you help us? We're looking for our daughter. She's a small orange pegasus, goes by the name of Scottaloo?" William groaned, " You just missed her. Names?" He folded his arms, and waited. " I'm Mane Allgood and this is my wife, Snap Shutter." William rubbed his eyes, " Well, I'm William. This over here is Joey. "

"You're a human, right? I thought you creatures were just a myth!"  Snap walked up, and extended her hoof, William shrugged, and shook it, " Eh, glad to hear that Lyra and those creepy mages aren't the only ones." 

"Hey, I know this might be a bit much to ask, but could I get your autograph? " William looked down at the mare, she was about as tall as Joey. "No. It's classified." The pair nodded, and left. But just before they were out of sight, William remembered something, " Hey! You know what, I met a pegasus with your exact same accent a few months ago. All 'round piece of ####, dark purple fur, you related. Both of them shook their heads.  William meanwhile, reached over to the back of his vest and pulled out a flask of water. " Mpfh, you can go off and do whatever the hell you want. " Joey grinned, and flew off.  At the same time, William continued making his way towards the other side of town. Where he knew with almost complete certainty  Rainbow would be. But first, he stopped for a donut. As he walked into the shop he noticed an alligator, just causally minding it's own business, wandering down the road. 

"Should I execute it?" William pondered as the waitress handed him his treat. He received his part of his answer when it was tackled and restrained by the 2 ponies he had met earlier. As he finished the donut he watched as the alligator broke free and made a rush for the café window he was sitting behind. Quickly, he rushed back out of the both and raised his rifle. Just as  the reptile crashed though the window William put 3 rounds in quick secession into it's head. And as soon as the threat was ended, flipped the safety back on, and let the rifle fall to the lowest point the sling would allow it to. " Oh, by the way? I'm not sorry about the alligator. " He got up, and clutching his rifle with one hand, stormed out of the building. 


" Hey, Rainbow? I know you're in there! I want my book back!" William called up. He was standing just beneath Cloudsdale, had he had the ability, he would have gone up there and asked her directly. But again, he was missing wings. So all he could do now was wait and admire the very, very strange liquid rainbows which seemed to be flowing out of the cloud city in seemingly random places. 

" Here it is! By the way, I liked it!" The book fell right into his hands. Carefully, he inspected it. " Thanks for bringing it back in one piece!"  Now that he had accomplished his daily goal. He had nothing left to do but head off to the Everfree, and get his daily static range training in. The thought of bringing Rainbow along briefly crossed his mind, but he quickly shot it down. He still tried his best to keep them in the dark about his... 'Tools.' He was now stuck wondering why he decided to walk all the way from Ponyville to Cloudsdale. But he didn't complain, because just as he began his long journey back. The distant sound of thunder rolling across the sky filled his ear drums. 

"I got my damn wish after all."
> Basis in Fact
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Alright little ones, for those of you that don't know me, my name is William, I'm the town's resident operator. That's military slang for an elite soldier.  Your teacher has been pestering me to help with a lesson here for all of 3 whole days now. And, after hearing about some of the nonsense y'all have been learning here. I've decided to intervene." William explained to the crowd of young colts and filly's. He had gone out of his way to have a talk with the youth of this town. He had heard quite a few things coming from them that he wanted to clarify. Most prominent among them, the water cycle. " Alright,  Cheerilee, explain your side of things. "

"Well, you see. As is quite well known. All weather comes from the pegasus weather factory in Cloudsdale." William snickered . "Alright, I know for a fact that your statement isn't based in it. How many of you have actually been up to Cloudsdale? 'Cause I went up there one time, visited that, 'factory,' and it sure as hell wasn't big enough to service all of Equestria. "  The entire class pondered this, until Cheerilee spoke up again.

"How did you visit it if you're not a pegasus? You don't even have wings." William took a bite out of an apple. " Species change. I got to be a pony for a few days. The rest is classified." A collection of whispers rose up from the class, until the teacher bade them to quiet down. William coughed, and folded his arms.  " It's a very simple process. It's not actually that hard to explain this. Now, while some Equestria's weather may come from Cloudsdale. The rest of it comes from the 2 massive oceans on either side of the continent." William unfolded a map of the country and tacked it onto the chalkboard to further his point. 

"You see, when the sun's ray's of light and heat hit the water, it warms it, causing it to rise in the same way a teakettle does when it's heated. The water is turned into water vapor, which then condenses into clouds, wind blows it over the continent,  with to much moisture in them to stay airborne, the water falls to the ground, and just like that, you've got rain. At least, that's how it worked back on my planet. " Before the class could respond to him, he walked out. Slamming the door behind him to the confusion of everypony there. It had just dawned on him that these ponies were, frankly, idiots. And being young was no excuse. 

And as the saying goes, "Do not try to argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and then outrank you by experience." That was all good and all, but the one thing that William really wanted right now was a glass of lemonade and something to shoot at.  He tossed his apple core into a bush, and a bird caught it in mid air. " Heh, you have fun with that." He whispered, stomping his way across town to the dinner just by town square. He took his usual booth and ordered an 8 ounce glass. Just as he began to consume it, a bright flash of light illuminated the booth next to him.  He was about to draw his sidearm when the light faded. Revealing Joey, quite disorientated.
"What the #### just happened!?"
"Twilight's teaching me how to teleport!" It took all of half a second for the implications of this to sink into him. He sighed, " Joey, nevermind." He got up and left. At the same time, he heard a scream, and when he looked back, Joey was gone. " Hehe, at least he hasn't got the hang of it yet." 

William marched out into the Everfree. The path which he had taken out into forest for most of his time here had been trampled down to dirt by now.  His frequent visits had made it impossible for it to grow back. Quickly, he made his way through the dark bushes and trees to his personal shooting range. It wasn't much, just a couple of steel targets arrayed at varying ranges in a clearing facing eastward, with a mound of dirt encompassing the whole thing. Again, it may not have been much, but it was his. He built it all on his own. He set a speaker down on the crude wooden table he had built.  And had it play some nice 2nd amendment related country/ rock music. And began his daily weapon drills. First up, basic 1-R-1 with his M4. 

This one was relatively simply,  it was performed by loading a magazine, firing one round, then dropping the mag in quick succession, or swapping it out for another mag, loading that one, triggering the bolt catch, and firing a 2nd shot, before flipping the safety and bringing the gun to low ready. He preformed this drill about a dozen times. And then did this with his M45A1. After this first drill, he took the time to walk over to the targets and check his groupings.  As would be expected with someone who's been doing this stuff for years they were pretty good. All within one inch of where he was aiming.

Once he had gotten out of highschool, he spent most of his spare time across the California border at the nearest gun range in Oregon. That's where he had taken his force on force and paramilitary training courses. From room clearing to self confidence. There he could train on guns far more efficiently and... realistic than he could in California on account of the state's absurd gun laws. Other than that, he would occasionally go out into the redwoods and do some shooting in the middle of nowhere. The rest he got off of Youtube and internet forums. But that only got him so far, it was only when he came back to Equestia that he had a chance to use his training and skills in the field. Cover was rarely an issue, as most of his opponents could only attack at close range.  


Next up was his tactical reloads. Almost the same as the last, except it involved ducking down behind mock cover and exchanging a half full magazine for a full one. And finally, quick draw's with his pistol. This one involved him turning away from the target, and timing himself spinning around, drawing his gun and putting 2 rounds center mass. Before reholstering. 


Finally, he got out his M250 squad automatic weapon, set up some very distinct changeling, manticore, and dragon targets. And practiced area denial tactics. Which were a bit harder without a fireteam or machine gun squad  to assist.  These were especially important to him, the very principal that he had based all of his other tactics around was such that he would be able to confidently engage an enemy force of any size. And they had been proven to work on his foes time and time again. From the changelings to the late Storm King to Sombra. 

Last of all, a marksmen test. He set a tin can up on a stool on the far side of the range. Taped a picture of an obnoxious dragon to the front. Then walked all the way to the treeline on the far side of the range. From his time building it, he knew it was about 260 yards out.  He manifested up his tired and true M110 rifle. His go to for shooting at anything further than 300 yards away that didn't necessitate a .50 BMG high explosive armor piercing incendiary round. Topped with a 6 times magnification optic and a micro red dot and chambered in 7.62 by 51. With a suppressor on the end because, why not? He set up his bipod, got down on his stomach, zeroed his optic until the center of the photo was in the dead center of his faintly glowing tritium reticle. He took a breath, and fired. 

The steel tipped round left the barrel, flew across the range and impacted the target. Through his optic, he could already tell he had hit what, and where he was aiming for. " Oh, this'll never get old." He folded up the bipod and walked over to the targets on the far end of the clearing.  He set up another 2 paper targets, walked back about 25 yards. And put 2 rounds in each of them in quick succession, this time with a KSG 25. It had by far the highest capacity of any non magazine fed shotgun William had ever seen, or used for 24 shells in the 2 tubes on either side of the shotgun, plus one in the chamber just as the name implied. The red dot optic above it had been set up with a reticle more reminiscent of a holographic sight. And was such that if he put the target within the illuminated  crosshairs and circle, he would hit the target. And sure enough, just as before with his other guns, the armor piecing flechette  darts all landed within half a foot of one another. A perfect grouping for him. 

"That's about enough for today. Time to go out looking for trouble. The shotgun disappeared, and he left the lonesome shooting range in the clearing.

"Ahhh!!! William!!!" It was Joey, William had heard recognized his scream through the trees. But when he made it to where he had heard it come from, the alicorn was nowhere to be seen. Just then, William heard the iconic sound of a horn casting a teleportation spell above him. He looked up into a nearby tree there he saw Joey. Dangling from a tree limb about 15 feet off the ground. The most absurd part of it was that Fluttershy's pet rabbit, Angel was fighting with him. His booming laughter obscured his worry.

"You're an alicorn, just fly away! What, you think I'm climbing up there!?" He called out to the dangling alicorn. As soon as he had called it out. Joey did just that, only instead of flying away, his horn spontaneously lit up, and her disappeared in a flash of magic. William cursed under and rushed off towards the edge of the Everfree.

As he ran, he began to catch glimpses of his firmed appearing and disappearing in bursts of light. As he turned to look for him, the alicorn appeared in front of, but before he could teleport away. William stopped him the only way he could. "I'm sorry about this." He left hooked him. Which stopped the spell, and also dropped the alicorn. After about 20 seconds, he opened his eyes again., And clutched the side of head in pain. " Ow." William chuckled, " Don't worry about it buddy, alicorns heal faster than normal ponies. You'll be better in no time." Joey laughed.

"I kind of lost control of the teleportation spell." William furrowed his brow, and knelt down. " That's a damn understatement, you were acting like a damn Enderman!" 

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be trying teleportation again anytime soon. "  The voice in WIlliam's head screamed victory.
> Am I the only one that's got a Problem with 'em?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Gah, it's the big one!!!" William awoke from a name under his favorite tree in the apple orchard to a massive rumbling. At first he thought it might have been an earthquake, being that he was from California, he was quite well versed in them. Even though he had lived in the valley, where earthquakes that were strong enough to be felt  were about as common as a 100 round AR drum magazine. 

One time he had gone out to San Jose to visit his grandpa and had felt a 4.5 firsthand. Ever since then, he had had a fascination with them. This however, was clearly not an earthquake, as his eyes adjusted to the light, he noticed what appeared to be a... Massive tortoise with a literal forest, or at the very least, a patch of a forest growing on it's back.


"Damn, leave your hole much?" William joked, his attitude changed when the massive creature bent down and tore the tree next to him out of the ground and began eating it. Trunk and all. It was a good 80 feet tall. Towering above the entire orchard. William only knew one way to deal with a threat like this. Lethal force, or at least, weapons powerful enough to deter them. An RPG 29 with a tandem anti tank warhead. " Now listen here mister tortoise, I'mma give you all of... 2 minutes , since you're massive, and a tortoise, to take your damn  snack and leave!" The tortoise ignored him. Of course, it's a damn tortoise, what was he expecting?


"Hey, Twilight, Fluttershy, you're the experts on this stuff, explain!" William walked out onto the dirt road the massive creature was standing on. Around him was the six, " I told mister tortoise to take small bites." William balled his gloved hand into a fist and slammed it into his head again and again. "Ugh, It's been almost 2 years, could you use some semblance of reasoning?!" He unslung the launcher. 

"Twilight! I'll give you one final change to peacefully remove it! Because I really don't wanna clean up a 500 ton corpse!" He raised it to his shoulder and took the safety off.  "If we don't stop it, it'll eat my entire families apple crop!" Added Applejack. " I've seen your family grow, and trust me, that ain't much of a loss, you earth ponies could regrow this entire field in all of 10 seconds!" William yelled over the commotion. Then, the sun went dark. William looked up to see the iconic silhouettes of the 2 royal sisters blocking it out.

"Halt interloper-" William snapped his fingers, and gesture them to where he was. "Hey, celestial alicorns! Can you get rid of this thing? I'd do it, but I don't want to clean up the corpse!" Luna understood him, and nodded. " Very well then!" Both their horns began to glow, and a few seconds later. The massive creature disappeared.  Taking it's, 'snack,' with it. 

"Er... Thanks!" The 2 alicorns disappeared. 

Later that day...

"Alright, who the hell put their hoof through the bridge?" William put his ands on his hips, and looked at the crowd of ponies around him. None of them responded.  "Alright, let me rephrase, who's going to fix it? 'Cause I got better thing s to be doing right now than public service." The crowd slowly began to leave. William sighed. " Oh well, I live in this damn town as well, figure I might as well care for it if no creature else will." He manifested up a toolbox, "Alright, I need some 2 by fours, some plaster, and cobble!" He turned around  to head back to his house and grab some of the spare materials that were left over from building his house.  When suddenly he heard a crash, and glanced back. Just in time to see Celestia and Luna swapping the bridge out for a new one. The crowd came back and began cheering for them. William meanwhile, was... Displeased to say the least. 

"What a waste of resources. You know, you could have just fixed the hole. I mean, is that thing even structurally sound?" He screamed internally as they went on there way, and, out of habit, he rushed over to inspect the bridge.  "Holy ####. It actually is."

That night...

William, after a long day of obsessing over things he probably shouldn't have, had gone out for a walk in the woods behind his house to clear his mind. The princesses had never before batted an eye to the troubles of his little town his whole time there. Unless it was a direct threat to their, 'national security.' Which itself was almost nonexistent.  Now they were acting as though it was all their castle, and that they were entitled to help with every little thing. Whether creatures wanted it or not. As he trekked through the forest with his rifle swinging lazily from side to side on a sling.  A flash of light momentarily cast an array of shadows over the forest. And faded as soon as it had come. And sure enough, it was the sisters. Trying to solve other's problems. He was going to have a talk with Luna later tonight. William turned around and headed back home. 

The next day...

Luna, if she had been on magic dream duty. Didn't pick up the proverbial phone. Now he was groggily stumbling about his kitchen. Waiting for his damn coffee to finish cooling down. William stumbled across the kitchen floor to snatch it up. And as usual, Joey showed up. This time he knocked on the sliding glass door in William's backyard. Upside down, at that. 

"Mornin' bud. Ugh, is it just me, or did the royals keep you up as well?" Joey shook his head." Good morning to you as  well. And no, they haven't. Is this about their behavior yesterday?" William stumbled over to him and slid the door open. " Well, I wouldn't call it a good morning. At first, I was glad because they saved me the effort of having to clean up a massive corpse, which I was ok with. Then, they replaced an entire bridge just because there was a little hole in it. The whole damn bridge!!!" He threw his hands up in there air. " I could have fixed it myslef. It would have taken all of 20 minutes. But no... They  tore the damn thing right out of the ground. Supports and all, and swapped it for a new one. With gold lining. What the ####!?" 

"Let me guess, you haven't had your caffeine yet?" William stopped, and relaxed his arms. His hands stayed clawed up. " No,  no I haven't. " William immediately went for his mug. He didn't say a word until it was finished. And then left for Twilight's castle. He had spotted Celestia and Luna flying into town just a few minutes prior. 

"Thank you Twilight! What a relief to know that the royal swanifiing ceremony is in good hooves!" William leaned against the front door. " The what?"  He glared at the 2 alicorns as they trotted by. " Oh, hi William!" Luna turned around. " My sister and I are going on a vacation. Would you like to go with us? Don't worry, the castle'll be in good hooves." William pondered it. Sure he had gone camping a few weeks ago. This was something else entirely. He might actually have fun on this trip. A few days off with the 2 celestial alicorn's was just what he needed. 

"Where are you going?" He tapped his boot against the crystalline wall. Celestia scratched her muzzle. "I don't actually know yet. We'll work it out as we go along." William shrugged. "Ok." They went their separate ways.


While Celestia and Luna were packing things that were typical of them. William was prepping a long range assault pack. But rather than camping supplies, he just took a banjo, weeks worth of MRE's and coffee. And a half gallon of water in a camel pack and another quarter in a jug. " Where are you going?" Joey tapped on his situation room door at the end of his second floor hallway. 

The lock clicked, and William poked his head out, keeping the rest of the room hidden, " I'm going on a trip with Celestia and Luna. You mind keeping the six in line while I'm gone?" He slung the pack over his back and walked out the front door. Stopping only to make sure all the windows and doors were locked and secured." Not a hoof inside until I return. Understand?" Joey nodded. "Got it." 



"Hawaiian floral shirts? What, is it boogaloo day again? And what's with the angry swans?" The 2 princesses looked at him with concern.  Celestia levitated a scroll over to Twilight. She didn't answer his question. " Hey, are y'all paying attention to me? Why are these swans acting like gooses?" 

He kicked one in the snout as it jumped out of the water and snapped at his leg. " Forget celebrating these things, you should've locked 'em up in prison!" He wasn't going to wait at the city gates for them to finish their goodbyes. He began heading west.  



"Remember sister, from now on, we are regular, carefree ponies!" William slowly tuned the volume meter on his amplified hearing protection. The irony he got from seeing ponies swoon as the royals passed by had stopped being funny a very long while ago.  He watched helplessly as they began singing. He fell behind, got out his banjo and began strumming it. " I can't stand them singing."




> A road trip, with Alicorns
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sister, stop singing! Where's that coming from?" Luna asked as she paused on the dirt road. They had been troting nonstop though the sticks for the past 3 and a half hours. They had only stopped once and rink-dink hotel, or rather, 'stable.' As the Equestrians called them. For souvenirs and pictures. They hadn't seen William since they left Canterlot. They both knew he was following them. But hadn't kept tract on account of them singing. "It sounds like a banjo." Celestia replied, they both turned their heads, and looked back down the trail. There was William, carrying that enormous backpack of his. His rifle was slung over his back and he was strumming away at a banjo and whistling. He shuffled his feet as he walked. 

"William, what are you doing?" He paused when the question hit him, and looked up at the sisters. "I'm passing the time." He deadpaned. " By playing my favorite musical instrument. And one of a few that I can actually play."  They smiled, " Very well then." William held up a finger and gestured back towards Canterlot. " I'm pretty sure your capital cities gonna be in ruins when we get back. But whatever." He shrugged and passed them on the road. " And what, pray tell, are you implying?"

"Just that the 6 ponies you left in charge of your kingdom might not be fit for the job. And don't even bring up Joey. There ain't a chance in hell that he would ever end up ruling your kingdom. " Celestia raised a hoof, " I've seen him work, you really should put more trust in him." William laughed, " Yeah, I've heard him say the same thing to you 'bout me. Isn't that right Luna?" She rolled her eyes, " Yes William, you and your friend both fell out of the sky."

"Ah, technically speaking, that was how he showed up in Equestria. Though I have fallen from many heights, many times. And if not for my training, or my ability to do this. "                                                                                                                                 
A parachute momentarily appeared on his back, and disappeared.

" I may very well be dead today, or at least, still in the hospital. Just one of the daily challenges of not having wings. With the exception of a few special occasions." He gave Luna a thumbs up. " Ah yes," Celestia answered him, " Your many transformations into a... Pegasus-Kirin hybrid, why the spell chose that I will never understand.  But it is certainty... Uh, creative."  He chuckled, and fiddled with his sidearm. " Yeah, I got the idea for it back on earth. Don't bother asking any further about that. So, " William changed the topic.

"I overheard you thinking about retiring and hoofing off the position of, 'princess.' To  Twilight, that have any truth to it?"  She gave him a shrug. " My sister and I are still thinking about it. " William looked around at the scenery, " I have just one more question. Who's Grogar the Necromancer?" The color slowly drained from the 2 alicorn's faces. 

"My, that's a name I haven't heard in a few centuries." Celestia responded to him in a grim tone, " Where did you hear it?" William pondered the question, obviously he couldn't tell her the truth, so he did what he did best. Fabricate a believable lie, " I came across the name in an old book in Twilight's library. There wasn't much information on him."

"Well, I'll be brief, he existed long before my sister and I were born. No pony really knows where he went, only that he was banished by a unicorn by the name of Gusty the Great. Now he exists only as an old folk tale, meant to scare foals into behaving. " Any chance that he could still be around?" Celestia shook her head. " If he is, we'd have known by now.  "

William smiled," Eh, anything can happen in Equestria. Hey, where are we going? I kinda lost track." In the distance, he caught sight of a series of glowing spires. Ones he vaguely recognized. " Las Pegasus. Great, just great!" He rubbed his eyes upon recounting the memories of his brief time there.

"Alrighty then! You 2 can just go right on ahead!" The both of them scowled at him, " William, we know that you had problems with Flim and Flam. But they got kicked out. "William laughed, " Oh, It's not them I'm worried about. I just hate casinos, it's a long story."



The hotel they entered was one of the larger ones on the strip. The princesses went in first, William followed. He took a seat at a bar. And dropped his pack on the ground to the side off him.  It was about then when the bartender began asking weather or not he was old enough to be in there. And that, "No weapon's were allowed inside." That was when one of the  ponies sitting next to him recognized him from the time he shut down Flim and Flam's scam. And began pestering him for his astrograph, what he got instead was a displeased groan. William was not ok with any of this. All it did was remind him of why he hated big cities. 

It took all of 18 minutes and 27 and a half seconds for William took get fed up with the cities nonsense. He stormed out, looked down at a map. And decided the next road trip location for them. " We're going somewhere in the Unicorn mountain range. I'm not gonna question the name. Because it's a tad bit weird naming a whole damn mountain range after a branch of your species. I've been there once before, and it wasn't actually that bad. " He checked his compass, cracked his back. And walked off again. Leaving the princesses to go rushing after him. 



"... And that's how the Arizona Ranger ended the threat of Texas red forever! Wasn't that fun!?" William exclaimed, the 2 alicorns looked at him with utter concern. " Uh... Sure William, where exactly are you dragging us to?" Luna said with an uncertain chuckle.

" I'm not forcing you to go anywhere, you literally followed me out of the city after I told you. You can teleport! You could go anywhere else in the world you want right now! But instead you choose to follow me around. Me! The slightly sociopathic, middle aged, one man army that saved your kingdom multiple times! I have done more for your, kingdom' in the past 2 years than your royal guard has done a in a millennium! I can handle myself!" 

" Do you hear yourself right now?" Celestia asked with a frown. "  That's why we went with you, because you deserve it. Well, that's not entirely true, you can be a pain in our flanks sometimes." Luna glared at her sister while William causally leaned on his rifle and took bites out of a dehydrated apple. Applejack would have lost it if she ever found out what he did to her apples. But, removing the moisture significantly cut down on weight. Which, despite him being in his early twenties and in relatively good physical condition, was still a huge factor. He had pulled more than a few muscles in his back carrying loads that were too heavy.  His back usually gave out before his arms did. Something he absolutely despised.

" Anyway, what was that about a vacation? Wasn't this supposed to be, 'relaxing? I'll tell ya what, I'm gonna go find a nice lake to set up camp by, you go have fun. I don't care how, just stay away from me." He waved goodbye to the pair, and headed off down a fork in the road. Only to be yanked aside by Celestia's magic. 

"Oh no William, you're going ziplining with my sister and I first. I've waited forever for this!" William screamed in anger, " Put me the #### down or I will shoot you!" The alicorn only giggled and pranced off down the trail, " Luna, help!!!"

"But I thought you could handle 'everything by yourself?" William fought to get his calm back. " No, I need you to convince her to put me down because I actually will shoot her!" He waved his rifle in the air. "I'm not joking! You know I'm not! So please, get her to put me down, and gently!" Luna snorted at her sister. Who returned the gesture and dropped William.

"Thank you!" He said gruffly, tugging on his BDU's. " Never do that again." He turned around and walked down the path. Wondering why the alicorn of the sun had suddenly became so enthusiastic. And personally, he didn't care. 

"So, lake lake lake..." He pulled out his map, turned it upside down a few times, squinted at it, and picked a spot. It was a relatively small one tucked in between 2 cliffs. " I think I'll go with that one, it's only a half mile." 


Later that evening...

"... I'm done with this!" When William heard Luna's voice call out, followed by what he assumed was Celestia letting out a genuine neigh, all he could do was facepalm. " Shut up! I'm trying to read!"  It was an old book he had picked up at a local library on Equestrian tactics in war.  The thick film of dust over it had said it all to him before he had even picked it up.  Not only was it short, but it's actual contents were centuries behind those of humankind's. Nevertheless, he intended to finish it. "Damnit, this is getting boring. Thought I saw a cave back up the mountain pass. that rule about crawling into unknown caverns can go to hell." He got up, fixed a white light to his helmet, and trekked up the trail to the cave opening. A crack in the side of the rock wall about 4 feet high and 3 feet wide at it's most. As soon as he went through it though, the crevice opened up. He was disappointed to find that there didn't seem to be anything important in there. With the exception of a collection of drawings on the wall left of him. Upon further examination, it seemed to depict the defeat of Grogar at the, hooves or what appeared to be some kind of unicorn. He wished he had his camera. But settled for having to copy them down on a small notebook. He took some time afterwards to check around the small cavern to ensure that was all that was worth exploring. He went back to camp. 

As he exited it, and looked up at the evening sky. He noticed that something was obviously wrong with the sky. The sun and the moon were flying all over the place, from horizon to horizon. "Holy ####, that escalated quickly. " He figured he might as well pack up camp and try and find the royals. 

"William!" He put his hand on his forehead as he approached his campsite. "  Your horns aren't glowing, so who's doing... That?" He pointed up at the sky. " We need to get back to Canterlot. " William held up his hand before they could leave. 


"You mind teleporting me home first-" He hadn't even finished his sentence before he found himself on his house doorsteps. Looking down at one very surprised  blue and white alicorn. " So, how'd your vacation go? Also, what's wrong with the sun and moon?" William groaned, and took a sip of water. " I haven't the slightest. Educated guess? Twilight broke something. "
> Archery with a .45
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now what the hell could this stuff mean? Oh who am I kidding- I know what these mean they tell the story of the first defeat of Grogar I know that much already I just need to decipher them!" He glanced over the sketches he had done of the cave drawings he had found 3 day's earlier. And sighed as he tossed them back on the table. " I'd ask Twilight or Celestia or some professor at the Canterlot university about this. But I don't want to start a panic just because there's a slim chance that a eldritch tyrant might have come back from the dead. Worst things is, I barely know anything about him. Or where to start looking. He balled up his fist and looked up at his bulletin board. Covered in scraps of paper and pictures. This was the one part of his house that most visitors never saw. It was also the most secure part of his house. He heard his doorbell ring, and headed downstairs. 

"Hold on a moment, Equestria has an annual archery competition?"  William frowned at the newspaper which had just been tossed on his porch. And this, was the only thing in the entire which had caught his eye.  " let's see... Wait-It's in Canterlot? No. Not a chance. I hate the commute. Unless..." He glanced down the street to find Twilight and Joey talking with one another.

"You purple alicorn! Can you teleport me to Canterlot for the annual archery competition? Because I'm sick and tired of having to take the train back and forth. And I don't really have much faith in Joey's ability to do it!" He folded his arms and waited for a response.

"Well, I don't really have much in my schedule.  Do you want be to take you both ways?" He gave Twilight a thumbs up. " Ok... When do you want to leave?" His expression went dead. " Now! What do you think?" She shrugged, and ignited her horn. And just like that, William was standing in the middle of a walkway in the middle of the Canterlot gardens. Momentarily in pain on account of the spell.  He cracked his knuckles, and walked off towards... Where was it again?

"Damnit." He had forgotten to actually find the precise location on the newspaper. And besides, he was pretty sure he had canceled his subscription about 2 months ago.  So he snuck up on the first royal guard he spotted, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him that very question. " Hey, do you know where the archery competition is?"  The pegasus looked back at him. " Hello William, It's been a while." It was Captain Winger, the idiot which Celestia had sent after him just over a year ago.  

"Hehe, how about you just answer the question and we can both be on our way's?" The stallion glared at him, " Oh no, I'd like to get to know you.  How's your life been since we met?"  

"Oh you know, it's gotten better. Joey's doing fine. I've saved the world a few more times, made a few more friends, and quite a few more enemies. But that's nothing that I can't handle. Yours?" The pegasus forced a smile. " It's been good. I've got a marefriend. As for my unit, they're all fit and healthy." William nodded, this may have been unexpected but so far, it was turning out alright. 

" About that... Thing that happened in Ponyville. I'm not sorry, I was protecting myself from  the actions of a tyrannical government." This oddly didn't elicit a negative response from him. " I figured you wouldn't be, but if it's any consolation. I apologize for the inconvenience. If it's alright with the princesses, it's fine by me. Don't worry about it. " William scratched his chin, and knelt down to the pony's height. " Hey, back to that competition-"

" It's in a park down by the southwest side of the city. Can't miss it." William smiled back. " Thanks', I'll be down in Ponyville if you ever wanna chat more." He waved goodbye and headed out through a side entrance, but before he was out of sight.  He heard the guard say one last thing, " Thanks' for saving me from Sombra's mind control!" I took him a  moment to recall what he was talking about. "You're welcome!" He gave Winger a thumbs up as they parted ways. Though William wasn't quite sure if he understood it or not.

"Alright. Do I have to register or something?" The entire crowd fell silent as William stepped onto the grass. There were about 200 attendees. Among them was Celestia, equally stunned to see William back so soon after the, 'vacation.' Which they gone on. Long story short, she had lost her sense of professionalism, and angered him quite a bit in the process. And then never bothered to apologize. Not that William required that he be apologized to. He wasn't a snowflake.

"Hello William, there isn't. The target's are right over there, it'll start in a few minutes." He breathed out through his teeth.  "Afternoon Celestia. I'll forgo the formalities for the time being, " He looked around at the crowd who were still eyeing him with suspicion. " What are y'all staring at?" They went back to what they had been doing before.  He had been unexpected, but no entirely a surprise. It finally seemed as though ponies outside of Ponyville were beginning to remember him.


"Alright folks, welcome back to the 128th annual Equestrian archery competition!" William sighed. "128th?"

He already knew what he was going with. "Time to meet our competitors!" It was as William expected. The majority of them were either pegasi or unicorns. Pegasi, because their subspecies was more warlike than the other two pony races. And, unicorns because of their telekinesis.  There was also an earth pony. But William wasn't too worried about her. All in all there were about a dozen of them. Emphasis on the word, 'about.' As William leaned himself back up against a tree. He began to get the feeling that something was watching him. This was confirmed when he looked straight up.  And was met by a pair of faintly glowing eyes. 

" Boo." It was a bat pony. But not just any bat pony, Nightshine.  Hanging upside down with a bow and quiver slung around her neck. " Hey there Nightshine, you competing as well?" She gave him an upside down  smirk.

"Yes I am. Three time champion. Don't bother explaining, I heard you yelling about it from up here." William chuckled, " It is. So, when does it start?" Her ears turned to the sound of a buzzer.

"Now." She glided down and trotted off to the starting line. William hurried off, and took a spot alongside her.

"Alright, you all probably know the rules, first pony to land three arrows within each of the red circle wins!" William looked out on the field, there were 4 separate bullseyes one at 15 yards, one at 15, one at 75, and one at 100 , " Is it actually as simple as that, or is there something more?" Nightshine smiled and pulled the recurve bow off her back. " It is that simple. Good luck!" She chimed. William rolled his eyes, and took a knee, now he just had to figure out as way to make his sidearm compliant with the tournaments rules. He ended up screwing a massive titanium dart onto the barrel of his M45A1. That solved that part of the problem. The only thing that had him worried was that the gunshot's would scare the crowd.  But then again, the dart would suppress the majority of the noise. It would remove all of it. But it should keep the crowd from impulsively panicking and fleeing." He chambered a round and safetied it.  He waited for the rest of the contestants to finish doing whatever it was they were doing. He was a gun person, not a bow person. Sure, he had used a basic recurve bow a few times before. But he had had far, far more training with firearms. 

"Alright, all contestants to the starting line. You may begin when ready."

William took 2 steps forward, looked over at the others, then back at the crowd.  " What? Y'all can go on a start."

And so they did. And, as far as cute multicolored equines go. They didn't actually do that bad. After they had shot their allotted amount of arrows.  William raised his pistol. As soon as he did so, the crowd began to murmur. But since none of them stopped to question what he was using, he went ahead with it. With the help of fiber optic sights. He was able to finish the course just as, if not faster than the other competitors. After this, they all waited for the results to come in. 

Had he used a rifle he may have first place. But this was the only time in his life that he would be fine with 2nd. And, now he finally had a trophy to put on his shelf that did belong to a creature that had tried to kill him first, only to have their body filled full of holes. As for the first place winner... In all honesty,  he was perfectly fine letting that bat pony go home with it. It was preferable to some egotistical noble.  They said their goodbye's, and William began his long walk home. When he heard the voice of Winger call out. Wondering if he would let him pay his airship toll home. William had no qualms against this. His first order of business upon returning home would be to drop off his trophy, eat a late lunch, and hit up the castle library. He still had to get this whole Grogar thing figured out.
> Quiet Kid? Title? Yep. Literally? Nope.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

With another day of dead end's, headaches, and food. William was still not the slightest bit closer to finding the hideout of one Grogar the Necromancer and what he had dubbed, " The trio of idiots." Comprised of the possibly deceased King Sombra, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek. 


He had gotten ahold of of ever bit of source material he could find. And all of them had led to nothing. Though they did give him a bit more insight into the nature of what Grogar was. Legend's described him as  a giant blue goat. With magical abilities which in modern times would be more than a match for even Celestia and Luna. He had also looked into this, "Gusty the Great." Which had yielded slightly more information than the research on Grogar. She was an  immortal unicorn, or at least, so the books said. Grey fur and a shimmering bluish green mane with single red streak, a , 'cutie mark,' of windswept leaves. And, as the name implied, an unnatural control over the weather. 

Apparently whoever was in charge of keeping records back then didn't do a very good job. Because he still had nothing, the only thing left was those glyphs which he had copied back in the cave. And he wasn't comfortable with asking Twilight about it. Besides, if he was going to think about it any longer. It was going to have to be the next day, as he was worn out, and in the process of falling asleep in his bed. 

"Damnit! Not again!"

It was a black abyss, which likely meant that he was getting a sudden hallucinatory vision. Or, that Luna was stopping by for a chat. Judging by the blackness faded from sight and was replaced by the top or a snowy mountain and high alpine forest. It was most likely the later. But then he noticed something climbing the side of the mountain, it was Grogar. Just as the book had described him, however, this version had glowing eyes with black pupils. And, in between his 2 horns, a sphere of magic. Which lashed out from it's source at random intervals with the bolts of energy the same color palate as his eyes. On the far side of the mountain, a second figure rose above the clouds. 

This one he recognized as Gusty. He looked closer at her, as goat and unicorn hovered closer to one another, their horns began to glow brighter as well. And from there it wasn't long before they began exchanging bolt's of magic. As this happened, William noticed something odd, Gusty, or rather, the dreams manifestation of her, winked at him. Then Grogar turned to him. 

"You!!!" He growled, the voice was deep, just as he had imagined an eldritch creature like him would sound. The peculiar bell around his neck began to glow, and William impulsively manifested a M4A1 carbine. But before he could get a good sight picture, the vision faded. And was replaced by  one very smug faced Lunar alicorn. "Care to explain whatever that was?" She tapped her right hoof on the dark grassy field which they now occupied. " No, because I don't know what that just was. And besides, what I do know of it is classified, by me, of course. " She laughed, "Very well then William, I don't have that many stops to make tonight, so, what do you want to discuss?" She sat down, William groaned, and put his hand to his forehead. " I'm pretty sure you already know what I was thinking-" He felt a wing slap him in the face. His wing. " Yes, thank you for jumpstarting the transformation. I was actually thinking of paying my old collage a visit." The field melted into an assortment of dorm buildings and fog. With redwood tree's and huckleberry bushes mixed in. " You're welcome to follow along if ya want."

"Why do you always insist on changing species every time you get the chance?" William laughed, and flapped his wings a couple times, did a barrel roll, and smacked his head on the ground. "I'm alright! And, to answer your last question, because I can! It's like a tetanus shot, it's a bit scary the first time you do it, but it all works out for the better in the long run. And no, I will never have one of those cutie mark things! I hate them!" He poked his tail. " And besides, this has a bonus use as a fly swatter!" A part of his forehead began to glow green, and various firearms appeared in different positions around his head, in one go, he racked the actions and chambered rounds in all of them.

"And, I can do this. Which when combined with my wings basically turns me into a living AC 130 gunship. And for both our sakes, I'm not going to explain that reference. And the fact that ponies are naturally... Ugh, 'adorable'. He coughed on the last part. Which I am not. All works in my favor, do you understand?" She rolled her eyes. Sure. I'll leave you to your... Redwood forest now." Before he could answer him she was gone.

"Oh for ####'s sake! I really need to figure out how to do that." The rest of his night was uneventful in comparison. Though he did much enjoy flying through the fogy redwoods and valley's of Humboldt county. He still knew that waking up was inevitable, but, just before it happened, he caught a glimpse of something that shouldn't have been in his dreamscape, the 2 beady glowing eyes of Grogar. But before he could do anything, he shot up in his bed, wide awake. And rolled himself out of bed with a groan. Momentarily forgetting that he no longer had wings. He stumbled down the stairway, grabbed something to eat and drink, walked back up stairs, brushed his teeth, went back downstairs, threw on his kit. And left for wherever it was he was going that day. With the, "Jumpscare." Still fresh in his mind.

This time, he decided that he would go over and knock on the front door of his friends house. Whistling along to 'Sink The Bismarck.'

His fiend's house was north west William's house. I was a cozy single story house which blended in with the aesthetic of the town far more than William's. It had a thatched roof and gardens. In contrast William's shingle roof  and modern home, well... Mostly modern. It certainly wasn't the ordinary suburban home, what with it's Kevlar reinforced walls magic proof door locks. And besides He knew to much about house fires for his own good. But Joey wouldn't go for it.


"Hey, it's William!" He tapped on the front door, as soon as his hand made contact with the wood he could hear the scrambling of hooves on wood from inside. About half a second later, the door swung open, revealing a groggy alicorn in a red bathroom a mug in his right hoof. With the words,  'Got hooves?' Plastered on it's side. " What is it?" William groaned. " You always knock on my door first, so I figured I'd beat you to it. He lifted his mug with his magic. "Come on inside."

William pulled the door aside and walked inside. " Sorry about the mess." Joey muttered, " I don't care, do whatever you please with your house. I haven't been here in what, 4-5 months?" He slumped back on the couch. The alicorn sat down in front of him, " Yes, so, what do you wanna talk about?" William frowned. " What do you mean?"

"Well, whenever I come over, it's always the same thing, I sit on your couch and we talk about our lives while you make breakfast and drink coffee. So, what's on your mind?" William grabbed one of the pillows on the couch and pulled it closer. " Have you ever heard the tale of Grogar the Necromancer?" Joey thought about for a moment, " Yeah, I have, Twilight told it to me when she visited last."

"You're implying she's been here more than once. How often does this happen?' He leaned in closer, " About twice a week. It's nothing you'd be interested in, it's mostly just Twilight talking about the stresses of directing a school, ranting about her friends, and gossip about the other folks in town." William rested his elbow on his leg and propped his head up on his hand. 

"Here's a question for you, why do you still insist on being called The Quiet Kid? You're 22! And you're not even that quiet! have you heard yourself talk? Every creature within a quarter mile can hear you! Whatever happened to, 'Unstoppable Moron? " William's hand when from his chin to his forehead. "I'm supposed to be out of collage now, well, technically I'm supposed to by surveying land out in Alaska. But I'm here instead. First of all, I'm not that loud. Second, the 2 nicknames are interchangeable. " Joey finished his coffee. I don't know what's wrong with it, but Equestrian coffee and earth coffee just aren't the same."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that." 

William crossed his arms and stood up. " I'm going out to the old castle ruins in the Everfree to see if that glorified excuse of a plant. The Spirit of Harmony." He coughed into his fist on that last part.  William waved goodbye, and slammed the door in the most comedic way possible. Joey couldn't help but laugh. " I'm glad he's on my side." He shook his head and went for his cupboards. 

"Ah yes, my little fortress in the tree's!" He threw is hands out at the sight of the decaying castle. Upon getting closer he was ecstatic to find that the sentient crystalline that lived in a cave far below the castle hadn't made any more encroachments on the courtyard. He decided to explore further into it.  As he strolled through the overgrown place garden's he noticed something he had missed on his last visit there. A small portion of the walkway was caved in. He pulled out a flashlight and peered into the crack. The beam of light starched just far enough into the darkness to reveal what appeared to be a bookshelf. 

"Huh, must've collapsed recently, I ought to check this out." He mounted a headlamp to his helmet. And mounted one to his rifle. He didn't really see the point of night vision for something like this. He slid down into the crack, and shined his light into the room which he had dropped into. The drop from the caved in section was about 4 feet, so he wasn't worried about getting back up. A quick scan of the room revealed that it was a library, and an old one at that. He walked further into the chamber, gazing at the stacks of old, mothballed books. And the murals or Celestia and Luna. Not just them, but other ponies of ages past, not only that, but there were also a few small images of other alicorns. Something he'd have to look into later. He assumed that most of what was here hadn't been touched in a millennium. As William peeked around a corner, and  shined his light on another row of old books, one in particular caught his eye. Namely, it's paint scheme, which had been faded by time. Seemed vaguely familiar. Curious, he edged closer to it, and gently took it off the shelf, taking a cloud of dust with it. He turned it over, and looked at the cover. He couldn't read the words on in. But one thing did catch his eye, the painted insignia of windswept maple leaves. 

"Hah! I finally found something new!" The combination of white, blue, green, and red combined with the image on the cover was unmistakable. It was a book about Gusty the Great. Which meant, if this was here, then there might also be a book about Grogar. 

And his whereabouts.
> Down a Lectern and Off to the Right
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gah! It's not here!" William called out into the empty expanse of the ancient library. He had looked everywhere for a book on Grogar, and he had actually found what he was looking for. Well, part of it anyway. He had found elaborating on his abilities and why he was so feared. As well as the nature of  his defeat, the only thing that was lacking was one about that strange bell which he had worn around his neck. While the other book he had found gave more insight into what it was capable of.  It failed to mention any specifics, that information was contained in one of the few books which had been removed from this place long before he had found it. However, he had a theory as to where it had gone. With the previous owners of this rotting castle. 

"Well, I guess I'm going back  to Canterlot." He muttered to himself as he climbed out of the hole in the ground and began the long walk home. Before he headed off to the capital city of Equestria, he'd have to drop the stuff he had collected on his most recent journey down into the old library at home. Behind Kevlar reinforced walls and magic proof doors. Where even an alicorn would have a tough time breaking into. Or teleporting into. Because that was a thing here. It was easier to defend against break in's than earth in terms of physical attacks. But more complicated in the sense that you now have the added threat of magic. 


"So, what you're telling me, is that that little amulet can raise the sun and moon by itself?" William held the little trinket in his gloved hands, looking it over. "Yes?" Twilight awkwardly replied to him. Apparently Celestia and Luna had given this thing to Twilight before he left with them on that, 'vacation.' William passed it back to her. " Can I use it some time?" She though about it for a moment, "Maybe. I'll have to ask Celestia." He chuckled, " Hey, I raised the sun once! Now that's a good talking point." He folded his arms, and looked out off the throne room balcony. He stood just a few feet from where he had once ended the Storm King. It was still kind of hard for him to believe that all happened almost 2 years ago.  Now he gazed out across western Equestria. From his vantage point, he could see a good eighty miles in all directions. From Ponyville to the Unicorn mountain range and Cloudsdale. He let out a sigh, and  turned back to Twilight. Who already had her next statement ready.

"We're prepping for the summer sun celebration, you should stay." She asked with a smile. He nodded, and leaned against the gilded doorway, " I'm staying for a while, but not for that. Listen, I need access to the restricted section of the Canterlot library. Do you have permission to grant that?" She shrugged, " No, unfortunately I don't. You'd have to ask Celestia about that, what do you need in there?" William grinded his teeth. 

"I'm looking for some information on something very important. I'll just leave it at that." She flapped her wings, and took of a position hovering about 5 feet off the balcony. "Are you sure you'll find what you're looking for there? I've heard it's haunted." William gave her a sarcastic thumbs up. " Twilight, please, short of Celestia, Luna, and maybe a few magical artifacts,  I'm the most dangerous thing on this mountain right now." He unslung his M-lok rail M4A1 carbine, and ran his fingers across the lower receiver as though he was strumming as guitar. Then pulled an M203 from his back pocket to further this point.  

"You see? The battle only ends when the enemy is no longer one. Regardless of the means. Trust me, I'll be fine." He turned his back to her and walked back down the red carpet, out to the courtyard in search of the celestial alicorn. 

William knocked on her bedroom door and waited. Regardless of what the guards had told him. He knew for an absolute fact that she wasn't doing anything important. " Yes William?" Celestia's voice rung from the other side of the door. "Hey, question. Do you by any chance happen to have a key to the restricted section of the royal Canterlot library? I need something in there. And I know for a fact that it's in there because it came in a set of 3 books," His tone changed to a whisper, " I found the other 2, but the 3rd one was missing." He heard the lock fumble, then Celestia craned her head out. 

"What is it exactly that you're looking for?" She asked with suspicion. William stood at parade rest. " It's classified. You know the drill." She opened the door fully. And motioned for him to come inside. Was he was beyond the threshold of the doors, she shut them. Then trotted over to a desk on the far side of the room, and reached into a cabinet. She levitated a small golden key out of it, and hovered it between the 2 of them. " Usually, I don't just give this away. But since I know you well enough to know that your intentions are good and that you probably won't cause any trouble. Is that understood?" He nodded.

"Indeed it is. It's just one book. It shouldn't take long." The key moved closer to William, and he snatched it out of the air, and looked it over. "A few things you should know about that section of the library before you go. There are a few enchanted artifacts and magical books within it. You should know them when you see them. Stay away from them and you should be alright. " William grinned. " Eh, I've been through worse. Thank's Celestia." 

" Always." She beamed." I do hope you find what you're looking for. Also, will you be coming to the summer Sun Celebration this year? You missed it last time." He shrugged, " Still undecided on that one. Bye." He jogged off down the hallway, narrowly avoiding hitting a very confused guard. " Heh, he practically treat's the castle as his own." Celestia said with a laugh as she shut the door behind him and got back to what she was doing before.

William leisurely strolled through the halls of the castle library. As he had done many times before, this time ever. He headed straight down the middle row, to a door in the back. In which he inserted the key Celestia had given to him. He brought his rifle to low ready, and pulled the door open. He stepped back as it swung all the way. He twisted around the doorway and shined a flashlight into the mostly unlit library. After a quick search, he headed on in. Being sure to close the door behind him. 

"Grogar's bell, Grogar's bell, where are you?" He muttered to himself as he swept over the book cases with his light. Celestia was right, some of the books were most definitely  magical. And it wasn't limited to books either. He swore he hard whisper's coming form the scolds. There was no light in the chamber, with the exception of the moon light from above. And his gun mounted flashlight. More oddly still, when he reached the center of the, 'restricted section.' there was an enormous hourglass in the center of the marble crossroads. The sand within it let off an eerie purple glow which hummed as he passed it. Out of curiosity, he waved a Giger counter near it. And was relieved to find that it wasn't letting off any radiation.  He turned off down one of the side corridors. And began looking over the shelves for what he needed. When all of a sudden, he noticed that one of the books on a shelf was glowing slightly more intensely than the others he had seen. But as soon s he leaned in closer, ethereal wisps began to seep from it. Swapped to a grenade launcher and backed away. And the wisps stopped. " What the #### did you trap in there?" He cursed. The thought of blowing that entire row of books crossed his mind, but he shot it down.  He had told Celestia that he wouldn't break anything. He backed away from the book row and turned down another.

It was then when he heard the sound of wings flapping coming from the far side of the room. And he turned his gun around just in time to catch a light blue mane and pink flank disappear behind a pile of scrolls. He kept on searching, slightly more on edge this time than before. Then he heard something which he knew he couldn't make up. The sound of Tirek grunting in annoyance. William could have called out, but decided against it. Instead, he decided to switch off his light and go to night vision. After pulling a set of NVG 18's over his eyes, he deactivated his white light and turned on an infrared laser.

"There it is!" William thought to himself. Chained to a pillar in between 2 shelves was a book with a decorative bell grafted onto the cover in gold.  Quickly, he crossed from one book case to the pillar, pulled a rock pick from his belt. And began smacking away at it. Needless to say, he knew that the sound of titanium slamming against old chains and a granite pillar would attract attention. He didn't realize how quickly it would draw whoever else was in here to him. So when he looked over his shoulder to find Tirek looming over him. William did the first thing that he could think of, take a swing at him with the rock pick. The sharp edge of the pick buried itself in the minitour's leg. And he let out a roar of pain. And began stumbling around. Crying. 

"Well, that was unplanned." William muttered sarcastically. He watched as Tirek stumbled out of the aisle.  He chuckled and went back to tearing away at the chains with his now bloody rock pick. He felt something grab him by his vest. And looked over to find Cozy Glow. Looking up at him with a mixture of fear and anger. "What are you doing here?" She asked sheepishly , the beads of sweat dripping through her fur said it all. "I'm here for this book you piece of ####, what are you doing here!?" He snatched her by her mane, " Remember that time where you tried to get rid of Equestria's magic, but seriously screwed up and I came after you? That was me being merciful. "

He kneed her in the muzzle, right-left hooked her with his hard knuckle gloves, and threw her as far as he could. He groaned in annoyance and turned back to the pillar, only to find that the book was gone. Fleeing from him was the unmistakable form of Chrysalis. Laughing as she galloped away. And was joined by a still bawling Tirek and a barely conscious Cozy Glow. " How did we mess this up!?" Tirek cried out. " How was I supposed to know that he was looking for the same book!?" Chrysalis's fading voice responded. " Damnit Chrissy, you bring that book right back here!" William called out as he chased them back through the library, and out of a side exit. He left the chamber and rushed out into the dark Canterlot alleyway. 

Even with them out of sight, he could still hear them bickering with one another, and franticly debating plans of escape. They hadn't accounted for William's amplified hearing protection. No creature ever did. As he rounded the first corner in the alleyway, bringing him from out into a narrow side street. It began to rain. And quite heavily at that. About a half second later, a gust of wind hit him in the face.  He removed his goggles and went back to a flashlight. "I know you're out there!" He entered a small market place. And jumped around a wooden barrel. He reached out into the darkness, and snatched Chrysalis by the mane. She struggled, but William held on. 

"What are you doing here? Why are you after that book!?" He called out over the thunder, looking her in the eyes. " Let me go! " She pulled herself away and took flight. " Get down here, explain yourself Chrysalis! I'm not mad, ok, that was a lie, I am mad. Listen, I know you're working for Grogar, and I know you well enough to know that your probably hate it. Give me that book back, or, better yet. You could just tell me where Grogar is hiding!" She winced.

"It's in the Hayseed swamps! That's all I can tell you!" She flew off. Leaving a very confused William standing in the middle of a dark city street soaking wet with a rifle dangling from his left arm. The rain had just stopped, the clouds went away with it.

" Eh, worth a shot. 'Least now I know where I can find that evil magic goat now." He began walking down the road. Out towards the Canterlot gardens.
> The Other Dashie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in south Eastern Equestria...

"What was that?" Tirek asked Chrysalis as he slowly reclined back on a massive chair within Grogar's cave. He  was still healing rom the pickaxe William had buried in his leg. If he hadn't thought of Willian as much of a threat before, he sure as hell did now. Cozy Glow was equally distressed. While they had just barely made it out of there with the book. Chrysalis had lagged behind. "Why did you?" She asked the changeling. Who rolled her eyes and gave an angry shrug. " You don't share your secret's, I don't have to share mine." Mainly she was trying to keep the fact that William had gotten her over the whole, 'taking over Equestria and being a tyrant,' thing. At this point, she really didn't know why she was staying here. Chrysalis still though that the outside world would shun her. And she still wasn't comfortable with the awkward conversations she and William would occasionally have when they stumbled upon one another. She did her best to frown as Cozy Glow red through the book they had acquired. " Oh, I can't wait to get back at William!" Cozy quipped. Tirek nodded through the pain. All Chrysialis could do was nod along with them. 

Back in Ponyville...

" So let me get this straight. On your last concert of the year, you ducked at the sound of a confetti cannon going off? On purpose, like, that wasn't a joke?" Joey asked William as the 2 of them sat around his coffee table. " William nodded, as 
casually snapped the upper and lower receivers of an Sig Sauer MCX Rattler together, and secured them. " Yeah, hell, I was day dreaming at the time, as you probably already know, I hated choir, I always lip synced. And, when I heard the bang, it sounded the same as a  Glock. So I ducked. Yeah, I know, it's embarrassing, but I've gotten better at distinguishing gunshots from other things in the past few years. "

"Of course you have." Joey joked. William looked at his watch, " You know, this may sound crazy, but I had a pet rabbit back on Earth." Joey smirked, " Seriosuly, you, taking care of a little rabbit? I don't believe it. " William frowned, "He wasn't that small. Kept him in the old chicken coop out behind our house.  His name was Dash. And no, I didn't name him after you know who. It was because he was fast, like, really fast. One time he got out, and I had to chase him down. It took 20 minutes for me to catch up to him. And he didn't even leave the property he was just running circles in the backyard. And, when you grabbed  him, go had to do it fast, otherwise he'd scratch you, I don't know how. But no matter how many times we clipped his nails, they never seemed to get any duller. Anyway's, I left him at my parent's house when I went off to collage. I trust that they've been taking good care of him. " 

The strange phenomena of things from earth with relation to the Quiet Kid  seeping into Equestria may never be explained. But regardless of whatever, scientific or magical explanation you may come up with. That doesn't change the fact that William's pet rabbit fell through the ground in his cage and ended up on the edge of Ponyville. Right by Fluttershy's cabin. 

Being that Dash was well... A rabbit. He didn't question a single thing about his unexpected transportation to another dimension. Instead, he hopped over to the nearest patch of green grass, and began grazing. William stretched his arms, and began making his way outside. When he saw Fluttershy bunny hop right past his window. "I swear, this place keeps gettin' weirder and weirder." He shook his head as he pushed the door open and began walking off towards the Everfree forest. Where he planned to shot a few clay disks, and maybe some hostile wildlife as well. If he was lucky, he might hit something that he could eat. He could feel his stomach grumbling as he crossed the bridge out of town and began making his way up past Fluttershy's cottage.. But as his eyes wandered across the expanse of grassland and forest. He spotted something that was gave him a feeling of nostalgia. "Hold on a moment, is that... Dash?" He picked up his pace, and jumped over a creek, crouched down, and looked in the same direction again. There was nothing. " Eh, I'm probably not hallucinating. How much trouble could-" It suddenly occurred to William that Fluttershy also had pet rabbit. A very mischievous one at that.

He wasn't worried. That rabbit of his would tear Angel apart if it came down to it. If anything, it was Fluttershy who should be worried about her pet. Which he'd have the chance to talk to her about, considering that she had just come hopping by him. "Hey, Fluutershy! I need to talk to you about something," The yellow pegasus froze and turned around to look at him. 

"Hi William, what is it?" The tone of her voice was off, it sounded gruffer, more confident than normally. " I have an suspicion that my pet rabbit is around here somewhere, he's got grey and white fur, responds to the name, 'Dash.' Have you seen him?" 

"Uh... No, no I haven't, if you don't mind I really have to get going now-" William shook his head, " You're not Fluttershy, are you?" The pegasus took a step backwards, " What- what are you talking about?"

"Don't use that phrase with me, Fluttershy would've stayed and listened. Your whole demeanor is off, so, what are you, a changeling? Demon? Chrysalis, are you there?" 

"Alright, fine! I'm Angel, you know, Fluttershy's rabbit? Her and I switched bodies, and I... Uh, lost her." William put his hand to his forehead and shook it. " Oh goodie! You know what, let's go find her!" He drew his sidearm from his left side holster, and motioned to the pathway leading into  the woods. "C'mon, we're going to go find her, then, we're going straight to the first pony, or creature that can fix this." They began walking, with William holding the rabbit at gunpoint. 

While this all was happening. Dash had been paralleling his former owner and was on track to stumble upon Fluttershy. In Angel's body, who, of course, was quite surprised to find another rabbit hopping down the same road as her. But even more surprised to find out that the rabbit belonged to William, or at least, used to. She thought it was a bit weird that the one other rabbit she had come across couldn't talk back to, or understand her. He was far, far more quiet than Angel had ever been. He only reacted when an eagle swooped down from a tree branch and reached out with it's talons. It was then that Dash lived up to his name. He shot thought the tree line and continued for almost a quarter of a mile. Until Fluttershy bumped into him. Needless to say that was most certainty a day that Fluttershy would never forget.  But that's what happens when you get between the Quiet Kid's pet and a meadow of green grass. Nothing personal.  

William had heard this all from Fluttershy, after her and Angel had switched bodies, again. William was disappointed that he hadn't been able to see his pet again. But he had far more important things on his mind. Foremost was his stomach, which hadn't been fed since that morning.  After that he would be heading back to his house.
> Browsing for weapons, in a DOD manifest?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William usually didn't spend much time within the confines of his own home. After all, in a world where there was no internet, what was the purpose? All the interesting and important stuff was outside. His whole reason for being here in this fantastical dimension, was outside. His house  was meant to serve as a refuge from the insanity outside, he could lock himself away behind reinforced doors and walls  and listen to music however loud he wanted, eat, disassemble and reassemble firearm's for experimentation and maintenance at his leisure.  Though usually not the later, it seemed as though the magic which made his weapons and equipment appear out of nowhere also removed the need for maintenance. His guns never jammed, his sight's  always held a prefect zero. And they would only malfunction if some outside factor made them. Filling the action with mud, loading magazines backwards, or with the wrong kind of ammunition, purposefully beating them into the ground until they fell apart, ect. William considered the last one a sin.  He also loved reading, though, not to the level of Twilight. 


His most recent indoors hobby in the past few months had been obsessing over Grogar the Necromancer. Locked behind the armored doors of his 'safe room.' Was everything relating to him which William could get his hands on. Most prominent of which being a set of three books regarding Gusty the Great, Grogar, and Grogar's Bell. Even though he had lost the book on Gorgar's bell. Well, more like let it get away, on account of principal. He still had the 2 others his possession. And with the help of a very troubled Chrysalis, he now had a bead on his location. It was somewhere in the, "Hayseed Swamps." A swath of marshland on Equestria's southeastern shore. From what he had heard of it, it was basically Equestrian Florida. He could take the trip there and start looking for Grogar's hideout at any time he wanted. But he had other things to do. 


Currently he was reading a book about old Cold War weapon prototypes straight from the declassified archives of the the United States Department of Defense. On the hunt for something that would catch his eye and make him want one of his own. It was essentially a toy catalogue to him.  He could pick whatever he wanted out of it and have it appear on the table in front of him whenever he wanted.

As he mindlessly flipped from page to page, looking over the faded typewritten documents and black and white photos. So  far today, he hadn't found anything that was worth making. Most of the things in there were out of feasibility for him. As he flipped back over the pages he had already gone through, he came across something which mad him smile. It was a rather large recoiless rifle. There was one odd thing about it though, on it's end was a small warhead with a radiation warning label. Then, he read the name.  " The M28 Davey Crockett." What was odder still, was that the manifest apparently listed this thing as nuclear ordinance. 

" I am a but a simple operator, I see a shoulder fired nuclear weapon, I want one. " He murmured to himself, looking though the paragraph underneath, only 2,100 were ever made. And none were ever used in combat, go figure. Well, none have been used in combat up until now. After reading a bit further into it he decided that he would go on a try to summon it. Disregarding the fact that all of his previously attempts to summon nuclear weapons, regardless of their perceived size, had failed.  Still, it wouldn't hurt to try. 

William walked out behind his house, took a firm stance, then tried to summon it. There was a burst of emerald green sparks, but no M28 appeared. He tried again, and again, and again. And unlike with other pieces of equipment, the more he attempted to summon one, the tired he became. It wasn't long before sweat began dripping down his forehead and his arms began to ache. A few more time's and a headache began to form. But still, no tactical nuke. 

"Hey, what's with the light show?" Joey landed on the roof behind William, and waved to him. "Oh, hello Joey. I'm trying to manifest a nuclear warhead, but not just any, a shoulder fired one!"

"Huh, no kidding, are you sure you're alright?" William winced, "Oh, no I'm not. But I want that nuke." The alicorn continued 
watching William's struggle with a mixture of curiosity and horror. "Dude, you're going to hurt yourself." He reasoned, William froze and dropped to his knee. " Whew, nevermind, I'll try again later, you're right, I shouldn't push it."

"And besides, what do you need something that powerful for anyway? You can already summon a whole artillery piece when ever you want. " Joey said with a smirk. William wiped the sweat off his brow looked back up at Joey, who was still perched on his roof, ruffling his feathers. " I used that same argument with you and teleporting." Joey scowled and flew down beside him.
"That's different!" William grinned through the pain, " It's not and you know it. The only difference is that you already had an accident. Mine has the potential to be an accident. That's why there's a 300 yard minimum arming distance built into the weapon that I sure as #### ain't gonna remove unless I absolutely have to. Each warhead's equivalent to a couple dozen conventional 155 millimeter artillery shells.  " Joey nodded his head without bothering to ask what William meant. 

"Anyway," William pulled himself up to full height and moved to a lawn chair, " Anything interesting happen lately?" Joey picked at the ground with his hoof. " Hmm... Oh yes, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went to Manehatten for the dat, Fluttershy got foalnaped by some ponies with Russian accents who were heading down south. And, Rainbow Dash teamed up with that author, Daring Do to go and try to save her!" William frowned, and rubbed his forehead.

"And if they were in Manehatten, how did you find out about this. It's not like they have radios." Joey smiled, " Ah, maybe not electric ones, Starlight Glimmer taught me a long distance communication spell. It's hard, but more feasible for me than teleporting. Though, I haven't given up my hopes on it yet." William stood up, having fully recovered. "All in the name of convenience, eh? I'm guessing you were wanting to tell me that in hopes that I would agree to go and help rescue her?" The alicorn nodded. "Ah what the hell, I'm bored anyway. And this isn't going anywhere anyway."

"Go find Twilight and see if she can teleport us there. We don't have time to go on and walk several hundred miles, or use a hot air balloon, or take the train, and we both know that me flying on your back is out of the question." William took off for Twilight's castle. 

Roughly half an hour later...

William tumbled out onto the other side of a portal into the humid jungle air, and looked back at Twilight, who waved at his as it closed. With the words, " I'll reopen it when you find them." Joey looked over at him." So... Where to now?" William sighed, and pointed off to their right, directly in front of them was a massive overgrown pyramid. " You. stay here, or go, I don't care." William began his ascent up the ancient stone structure. Joey flew parallel to him. But he froze in mid air when he looked back down. Just in time to find a massive blue and purple, cat thing? Looking down at Daring Do and Rainbow Dash. " Hey, William!?"

"Yeah, I see it!" Came a response from about halfway up the structure. About a half second later, the worried alicorn heard the sharp crack of a gunshot. Which William had purposely placed right off to the side of the creature. It jumped as the round hit. " Back away from the pegasi or the next one goes in your skull is that understood!?" The cat stopped and blinked, "I'm sorry, who are you?" William scrambled down from the grand stone staircase. Joey, knowing his friend all to well, decided to stay far above in the air where he was less likely to get hurt. But as soon has he reached the second to last one, Daring broke free and took Rainbow with her. The cat- thing swung it's claws down, and William brought his gun to his shoulder, and fired.

He put  a .308 AP round center mass in the creature. But all that did was make it stumble backwards and start  cursing at him. "Hey William, I see Fluttershy, she and the other's are disappearing into the pyramid. You better finish it up fast down there!" William fumbled with an M67 fragmentation grenade, and tossed under the menace which he had just shot.  He then proceeded to franticly sprint back up the pyramid as fast as he could. 

The top was, to say the least quite a bit larger that it appeared to be from ground level. Hell, there was even a decently sized grove of trees. At it's center was an array of  stone pillars of various sizes, all bearing engravings of some sort. At very center was a massive stone door leading down to a staircase which seemed to be rapidly closing. He just stood there and let it shut all the way. He wasn't worried. Why should he have been, it obviously wasn't magically reinforced, just more of your usual jungle temple crap. Though, it was still an impressive feat of engineering to be sure.   Though nothing a few packs of C4 and a Carl Gustav antitank gun couldn't deal with. William jumped down into the darkness  and looked around with his flashlight, shinning it right into Joey's eyes in the process.

"Ow! Easy there, watch it  with that thing I swear, it hurts less looking into the sun that that thing!" William rolled an eye and looked around at the room they had found themselves in. On the far side or the room arranged in a half circle were 5 unmarked stone doors. " Uh, you pick?"  Joey asked sheepishly. William walked up to the center door and banged on it, "It's hollow." He blew the door open with yet another C4 block. And leisurely strolled down the long dark hallway. Until he cam to an opening.

The scene was like something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie. At the center of a deep pit filled with lava was a  bejeweled glowing necklace. Made entirely from gold. Torches lined the walls of the chamber, alongside 4 other entryways. Likely leading to the other 4 doors. Whoever designed this place clearly didn't know jack about traps. Just in front of him were 5 ponies. Fluttershy, and her captors, who didn't yet know he was there. He looked back down the hallway and signaled for Joey to stop. The sound of hooves would back them look back. So instead, William crept up behind  a grey earth pony with sunglasses and tapped him on the shoulder. " Hello there, now, lemme lay out the two choices you 4 have. You can either surrender and come quietly, or you throw yourselves into yonder lava pit and we call it a day- Fluttershy no!" He watched helplessly as Fluttershy took the necklace from the pedestal and placed it around the head pony's neck. His eyes, and the amulet on the necklace began to glow green. "Eh, sure we might have originally brought her along to help us steal this necklace, but over time my henchponies and I came to value her friendship and kindness!" The earth ponies nodded behind him, William groaned, " Ok, I have to ask, what does that amulet do?"

"It makes me tell the truth!" William deadpanned back to Joey, who trotted out from the darkness. "What's your name?"

"Dr. Caballeron. "  William groaned, " Alright, now we just got wait for the other idiot's to show up-" He glanced behind himself to find Rainbow and Daring trotting on through another doorway next to the one he was standing by. " Y'all can stop freaking out, I found Fluttershy. Do whatever you want with the others. Before they could speak up her heard a rumbling, and a piece of the far wall broke away to reveal that same massive cat thing from before. The bullet wound on it's chest and been cauterized by some means, and the grenade didn't seem to have done much damage. "Gah! More intruders!?" And you dare to steal-"

"First of all, I'm not an intruder, I'm here to extract these idiot's fully of my own accord, I was bored this morning, now, I am not."  William brought an AR-10 to his shoulder, and prepared to gun the creature down. Permanently, this time. The creature laughed, and an assortment of clay pony statues flew down from the ceiling. William snapped his fingers, and the AR-10 became an AA-12. He then nonchalantly stared at the cat as he held the trigger down and sprayed buckshot into the swarm of statues. Making it rain clay for a few moments, when he was certain they were all gone. He dropped the spend drum magazine and inserted a fresh one. " Try me. Actually, don't." What happened next was likely the oddest thing he had seen all day. The cat things tail unfurled it's end into another claw and picked Caballeron up by his tail. The doctor threw the talisman to Daring, who caught it around her neck. " Here's a question, why do you even want this thing? Aside from the fact that it would likely fetch a fortune on the black market. Equestria does have a black market, right?" William took the amulet by a glove and looked back at Daring, who shrugged." I dunno."

" Well, you see, I'm the protector of this jungle, if another artifact goes missing under my watch. Well, let's just say I'm going to be in a lot of trouble with the other guardian creatures." William wasn't convinced, " And who are these other, 'guardian creatures?" The room was lit up by a  bright flash of orange and green light, which upon dissipating revealed a certain magical deer. " Hey, William, Joey! What are you 2 doing here?" William blinked, " Uh, I'm here because I'm bored, still not sorry about the hole in your chest," The cat frowned,  "And I don't care about that amulet, you can have it."

William held up his finger and looked down at his watch, " Oh, whatdya know? It's lunch time, y'all wanna come back to Ponyville?
> New Neighbor, New Problem's
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"William?"

"What!?" William roared, dropping the suppressor he had been holding onto his foot. He had been in the process of tinkering with an integrally suppressed M110  designated marksmen rifle. Something that by all account's, was not supposed to exist, but now did. All thanks' to a combination of magic and firearm knowledge. Regardless, that didn't save him from the pain of having dropped the Maglight of a suppressor on his foot. Luckily, he had been wearing boot's when it had fallen, so it didn't hurt quite as bad as it could've. " There's something you might wanna take a look at!" He shook his head, " Fine! " William hobbled downstairs and out the front door. There was Joey, alongside a crowd of other ponies. Looking at, a cart full of boxes? 

No, it had to be something else. "What am I supposed to be looking at? Is there something behind it I ain't sein' ?" William put his hands and his pocket's and let out a sigh. Just as he was about to leave a creature stepped out from behind the cart. It was just another pegasus mare, with a grey fur, a light grey mane with red streaks in it, an uncommon color palate? Sure, but nothing to out of the ordinary. 

Or so William thought until he realized that it wasn't standing on hooves, it was standing on paws. 

It was what appeared to be a wolf- pony hybrid of some sort.

" Holy ####."

He watched as the hybrid unloaded a box from the back of the cart, walked past the crowd without batting them an eye, and right into the house next door to William. About 40 yard's away from his own house. " Look's like you've got a new neighbor William." An earth pony murmured to him, William just buried his hand's in his head, and groaned. " How did this happen?" 

Now, William was by no mean's fond of his neighbor's, sure, they'd typically wave to him as he passed by them on the street, occasionally he'd wave back. But he wasn't really, 'friends,' with any of them. Most of the time he kept to himself. New neighbors were even worse. Because he never knew what they'd be like until they moved in. Now usually, Equestrian neighbor's are far more courteous than human neighbors., but there was still the occasional bad apple. The house next door to him had been unoccupied for about the past six month's. But now she was moving in there. Whoever she was anyway. He didn't know of any species that were native to Equestria that looked quite like that.  Sure there were the Dimond dogs in the southeast, but this was something else entirely. 

"William?" Joey warned, " Don't freak out."

He sighed again, and turned to look at Joey. " Really?" He folded his arms out of sarcasm. " Hey, who knows. Maybe she's really nice?" The alicorn asked.

William watched as a pony bumped into the wolf pony's cart, who actually barked at the pony, who shrank back in fear ant trotted away. It was... Strange to say the least, hearing that noise come out of an equines muzzle. " Yeah, I'm not going near her. Not my problem. " Joey looked up at him and began whistling. "Gah, fine stop looking at me like that!" William threw his arms up in the air and walked down the road towards the hybrid in the most causal way possible.  The whole time he was glaring back at his friend. 


William stopped about 10 feet away. "  Hey there, you new in town?" She didn't even stop to talk, she just said it on the move. " You better not touch my stuff like the last pony that came by. " 

William furrowed his brow, " I wasn't going to. I hate it when others' touch my stuff as well. What are you? And what's your name?" She growled again and trotted off into the house, "Isn't it obvious? I'm a wolfpony. I'm from up north." She  dropped the last box off inside her house and slammed the door with her right paw. William meanwhile, looked back at the crowd and shrugged. "Whatdya want me do do!?"  He shook his head as he walked back to his own home. William had learned to be warry of any sentient creature in this world with paws, or claws. They usually strained his his patience, and his tolerance, and his sanity, ok, he wasn't a fan. " I can't believe y'all made me come out for this. " 

"Better you found out now than than when walking through the forest at night!" William wasn't even amused by Joey's quip. He slammed the door behind him, and went back to his rifle.  Joey meanwhile, decided to go and try talking with William's new neighbor.  

"Um, hello there. My name's Joey-" The door swung open, and standing in the doorway was the wolfpony, with a look of annoyance on her face. " And?" She asked, " Well, I just wanted to see how you were settling in. I apologize for my friend,  he was just a bit surprised as all. He may not look it, but he's pretty nice. Bit crazy, like's weapons, he's saved Equestria a few times."  She just stood there, with an unamused look on her face, a few second's passed before her face relaxed, " Yeah, he looked like the angry, one creature army type. Name's Crimson Starwatcher." Joey reached out with his hoof, only to be denied a shake. I like my space, get off my front porch." She closed the door. " Uh, ok. I live down the road if you wanna talk more!" No response was given. " Ok..." He bounded into the air and flew off. 


"Those 2 probably won't kill each other." He chuckled. William he knew, this, Crimson Starwatcher," He had just met, he was usually open when it came to meeting new creature especially one's moving into his town. This one however, he wasn't so sure about. 


Later that day...

William was out back behind his house again again. In the process of finishing the touches on his new rifle so that he could add it to his mental database of firearms and recreate it as many times as he wanted. Just are he zeroed the sight at a target he had placed about 50 yards down range in the forest. He heard a rustling in the bushes, so he took his hand's off the rifle and looked up. Just in time to watch a rubber ball bounce in and out of his field of vision. A moment later, William watched the wolfpony from earlier dash by and grab the ball by her mouth. Then go trotting back into the woods. 

" Are you serious?" He demanded, standing up in a fury. He heard a muffled, "It got away from me, won't happen again!" Come from the bushes.

" Damnit world. This is what I'm stuck with?" He muttered to himself.

But just as he began to sit down that same ball came bouncing across this line of sight, and after it came the wolf pony, flying after it. William blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. "Oh, that's right, it has wings!" He stomped his boot into the ground, grabbed his rifle. Finished the adjustment's to the scope, put the reticle on target, and fired.  It hit the direct center. Exactly what he had aimed for. Then, he heard wing's flapping overhead. Followed by a, "What's that?" He looked up from his rifle, that thing was now hovering directly above. Where Joey usually circled. " That's on a need to know basis and you don't need to know. It's a more dangerous crossbow,  that's the idiot's explanation." She looked skeptical. "Hey, if I'm gonna keep complaining about you I'm gonna need a name!"

"Starwatcher." She flew off towards her house, William watched her disappear through a bedroom window. "So not only is my neighbor this world's physical rendition of a furry. But she's also nosey, and can fly!" He took a sip of the lemonade by his side. And groaned again in mental agony the more he thought of it. 


After the whole fiasco in his backyard he decided to go off into the Everfree and shoot a few cockatrices. Unfortunately, an arrow beat him to the first one he spotted. Though this time, it wasn't just Starwatcher that came out of the woods. Alongside her was a bat pony. Lieutenant Nightshine.  With her signature bow and quiver slung over her shoulder. The wolf pony carried the same stuff, just a larger, more decorated bow. " William!" Nightshine exclaimed, " What are you doing out here chasing the same cockatrice as us? Oh, by the way, have you met-" The hybrid creature by Nightshine's side  forced a smile. " Yes, I have." William answered. "Why are you out hunting anyway? Pony's don't eat meat. Well, they can. But they never do. And you're a bat pony. So you have an excuse. And you, how did you get here so fast?" He turned to Starwatcher. " Nightshine's here's an old friend of mine. I spotted her out in front of my house with her bow and quiver, so I grabbed mine and asked her If I wanted to go hunting." William facepalmed. "Well, Everfree's off limit's, got it? I don't need to constantly be on the lookout for stray arrow's on top of all the stuff in this forest. I'm ok with with y'all hunting, just, not out behind my house, and not the Everfree. Ok?" The 2 mare's looked at each other, then back at him, and nodded. "Alright." William tossed them the corpse of the demonic chicken hybrid alongside the arrow which had ended it. 

" See ya later Nightshine, you..." He wagged his finger at the hybrid. "Not so much." Starwatcher rolled her eyes. 

"Go figure."
"Hey, you wanna talk about this now? In the middle of the wood's. Next to a member of the ESF?" Nightshine just shrugged. "Fine by me. I'm not part of this." 

"It's not my fault for wanting to keep you away from me when you act like a wild animal! I saw you chasing your own tail in your front yard for goodness sake!" She raised an eyebrow, " There was a spider on it!" William facepalmed, " That doesn't excuse your other behavior!"

"Hey, I can't control my genetics', ok?" William cracked his neck, "Sure you can. Those paw's don't give you an excuse to behave like an idiot in public. That right is reserved for  Derpy Hooves. She's the town's mail pony. You probably haven't met her yet though. "  Nightshine raise a hoof. "Ok, maybe I can solve this. Starwatcher, this isn't the frozen north. And William, don't be to hard on her." He sighed again. " I stop complaining and you stop acting like a wild animal, or at least keep it within the confines of your own house. Deal?" He reached down with his hand. And, to his surprise, Starwatcher reached up with her paw and shook it. "Yeah, I've shaken hand's with weirder, just so we're clear, this doesn't mean we have to like each other. " She nodded. "Agreed." 


That night William was laying on his rooftop looking up at the stars. An uncommon occurrence on account of the effort it took him to get up there most of the time. He would lay facing east, looking out over the town. This time ever, he was interrupted by Joey, fleeing in terror as Starwatcher flew after him with a 2 by 4. Shouting obscenities'.  He just leaned back, and ignored it. "He'll be alright." William batted an eye when he heard the screaming devolve into laughter.  "I'm gettin' to old for this ####. I think I'll finally go out looking for Grogar's hiding spot, soon. Not tomorrow, but soon." His uneasy calm was interrupted when he heard the sound of hooves crash into and scramble off of his roof. Followed by the sound of galloping.

"Damnit alicorn!!! This town still find's way's to mess things up for me, don't it? Always."
> So... Where'd They Go?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, as it happens. William hadn't vacuumed his house in quite a while. And had pecked the hour before his balloon left for the Hayseed swamps in southern Equestria to do so.  William wasn't usually much for house cleaning, he didn't really see it as having much purpose, especially because the guest's he had all over every day made a mess of everything. He had implemented a rule to fix this, no creature's upstairs unless he gave them permission. Especially the situation room at the end of the hall, and his bedroom even more so.  He whistled along to, "Dirt on My Boots," As he finished both floor's, and moved to the back storage room of his house to drop it off.  He then went over to his pantry, snatched a few thing's up for the road. Or, rather, the sky, stuffed them in an day pack. And headed out to the balloon dock on the other side of town.  

" Good mornin' Joey."

He waved as he passed by, his friend waved back. Though slower, he was panting. " What, were you chasing a chicken or something?" The alicorn nodded, " No, actually, did you know that Crimson Starwatcher has a fondness for raising cockatrices? She claim's that they're a delicacy where she comes from! So, this morning, I, when I was passing by her house. I look over to find that she's corralling a half dozen of them she gathered up in the wood's, into a coop. A half dozen cockatrices, in one medium sized coop. Naturally, I offered to help her with it. She seemed pretty reluctant to let me help. But let me anyway, long story short one of them got out and started chasing me around. " William raised an eyebrow. 


"You're an alicorn. And you ran from a cockatrice?  Damnit Joey, I've seen you stand up to thing's far scarier than that. But since I know you way better than I know her I'm not going to ask you to go back there and apologize for being a coward. I mean, ya can if ya want to. But I ain't forcing you. " His eyebrow's dropped. " Thanks', I'll pass."

"Also, how have the six react the town's newest resident and her... Uncommon demeanor? Not that I care, it's just that I' curious." 

" Most haven't gotten a chance to go visit her. Pinkie offered to throw Starwatcher a welcome party. But she declined. Rainbow got in a fight with her over the cloud's over her house. And I heard Rarity griping about her sense of fashion. And don't ask me why a creature with that much fur need's a snow jacket." William shrugged, and pointed east." I've gotta go. I'm finally heading off to the Hayseed swamps in search of Grogar the Necromancer." Joey put a hoof forward, " Wait, who, and-" William was already off, stomping his way down the street with the usual amount of anger and perceived authority. 

" Do I wait for a pilot or can I just... Take off?"

The unicorn mare at the terminal shrugged, and looked away. " I don't care, you already paid me, just try not to crash it right away, ok?"  William chuckled, then scratched his neck. "Ah, I don't have a pilot's license. But I'm pretty sure you don't need one in Equestria. I flew a balloon back on earth once. It wasn't that hard. Besides, I've watched other ponies fly them with no issue. " He lit the flame underneath the balloon, and in a few moment's, he was off the ground. Floating off to his destination. Which was... Where again exactly? Ah yes, Chrysalis had said the Hayseed swamps, not where in said Hayseed swamps. And why the hell did the Equestrian's name it that anyway?  He would likely never know. Well, likely never know unless he asked. But he would have to ask later, as he was now roughly a thousand feet above the ground, on his way to... "Put down." A monster and a mystery which had been obsessing's over for the better part of a month. About half way there, as he sat there in the little wooden box keeping him from plummeting to his death, William heard a pair of wing's flapping alongside him.  One's he didn't recognize.


"Hey! Who's up here with me?" He yelled out over the droning noise of the torch.  There was a thump on the side of the craft as something snatched onto the size. Quickly, He drew his sidearm and moved to peer over the edge. There was Winger, wearing his standard issue royal guardspony golden armor. Clinging to the side.  " Lil' help here?" He asked, "William sighed and grabbed him by the hoof. "What are you doing up here? Ain't you supposed to be up in Canterlot?" 

"I'm on leave." The pegasus explained, stumbling over the edge and landing on all 4's. " What are you doing here?" He asked in the same tone. "I'm on a trip. To the Hayseed swamps."

"Ugh! Now why in Celestia's name would you ever wanna willingly go there!?" William sat back down and holstered  his gun. 

"I'm looking for something. Someone, to be specific." The pegasus looked more amused than anything else, "Who?" William sighed, " Grogar." Winger's eyes widened, " Grogar's just a legend. He ain't real." He looked up at the human as he sat down on the far side, " How much do you really think you know about me Winger? We've only ever met twice." The guard captain's face began grow dim with worry. " If what you're saying is true, than I gotta warn the princesses. " William held up his hand, " It's to late for that, I'm heading right for his headquarters. Well, the general area where his headquarters is supposedly located." 

" And where, pray tell did you get this info? A changeling?" William snarked, " Yes, actually. I did. I happen to know the only known one of her kind to exist in Equestria. The former Queen Chrysalis. I've talked with her a few times. And we've became what I believe could be considered as, friends,'  well, more like mutual acquaintances. " He looked to Winger, who was staring off into space in horror. William snapped, and he jumped off his flank and screamed. "Ah! Sorry, just a flashback. Are you sure she's not trying to deceive you?" William let out a booming laugh. Trust me Winger, she's far too morally conflicted to try something like that. " The pegasus gave him a slow nod. "Alright."


"Hey, do you wanna come along, or do you wanna leave?" Winger leaned on one leg and scratched his chin with another. "Ah, I think I'll leave. It's gonna be getting dark soon, and I wouldn't want to get in your way." William could tell he was being sarcastic on that last bit. Winger gave him a solute and then dived of the edge of the balloon. Disappearing behind a tall bank of clouds.  William waved into the cloudy darkness, then sat back down just as a cloud drifted into his basket. Blanketing every thing with fog. When he finally left it. He could see the moon reflecting off the marshland and bayou's below. He was exactly where he needed to be, and, by some inexplicable means,  just a few miles off course from him was the stone carving of a goat skull emerging from the swamp. An orangish glow illuminated it against the background of the swamp. Likely either a fire or lava. Though this place didn't strike him as the volcanically active type. It could've been lit through magic, but he'd have to actually get there before he could confirm anything. He tugged on the rope leading up to the top. Letting some of the hot air out and causing him to descend.  


William set the balloon down on a small patch of stable ground about a quarter mile away. He threw a camouflaged net  over it to conceal it from any, 'passerby's.' With the balloon and packet tucked away, he snapped on a set of  quad scope night vision goggles on over his helmet. And exchanged the M4 had been carrying for an M250 light machine gun. He was after a creature which had at one point enslaved the whole of Equestria. And not in the soft cliché way that the other tyrant's in this world did. He was downright vicious.  But then again, so was William. He didn't even plan to reason with him, he'd go in there, find him. And gun him down. If bullet's didn't work. He'd level the whole fortress with explosives. Though he wasn't quite sure how he'd deal with  Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek. But he'd cross that metaphorical bridge when it came to it. 

He sloshed his way through the putrid water of the pitch black marsh, glad for the waterproof trousers and boots which kept him dry.  It wasn't long before he had made his way onto the raised dirt pathway which led to the fortress. He he walked parallel to it, keeping his gun at height ready the whole time and his head on a swivel. At last, he was at the front entrance of the forest, he gave a section of the overgrown stone wall a firm kick.  and it cracked, another time and he was inside. His pace sped up, he swept through the front room and down a narrow unlit hallway, surveying everything with ruthless efficiency. Expecting any one of them to pop out from around a corner. Or for a bolt of magic to come flying out of nowhere. But nothing, it was quiet. And not only that, but this place was far, far larger then it had appeared to be on the other side. 

After 30 seconds he had entered into what had appeared to be a hearth room. Given that there was a massive fire roaring in a hearth. Alongside a giant stone table and 2 stone stairways descending from a second floor. 

"Yep, bad guy hideout, for sure. Actually, this place is pretty nice. I think I might use it as a vacation  home once I get the blood out of the floor." He slide checked his LMG. When all of a sudden, he heard an angry voice from the stairway above. " Well, well, well, if it isn't the Quiet Kid. I've heard quite a lot about you. " William sighed,  he slowly raised his gun back up. Then in an instant, twisted around, put his holographic crosshairs on the giant magical goat's head. And held the trigger down for a whole 10 round burst.  The monster collapsed on the stairs, dead. The gory corpse of Grogar  disappeared, and was replaced by an entirely unharmed, albeit terrified Discord. "Wait, wait, stop shooting! It's me! I was just kidding!" William's expression dropped. " What the ####!? Where's Grogar, Discord!?" He stomped his way up the staircase, and loomed over the draconequus. 

"There is no real Grogar. Well, there was, and he still might be out there. But it's been me this whole time! Please don't kill me! Those fool's stole my magic!" William seethed with anger. " Well then, where did the Bewitching Bell and your magic go? 
And where the hell did Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek go!?" He left hooked him across the snout.  "I don't know, they just... Absorbed it's magic and took off." William rubbed balaclava clad forehead in mental agony. " Oh ####."  He motioned for Discord to stay where he was, and took off running for his balloon. He knew exactly where they were headed. And, ancient goat magic or not. He'd still have to deal with them.
> The Rules Of Engagement: Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

William swiftly made his way back to the balloon and ignited the flame within it, causing it to inflate. Within 2 minute's, it was ready for flight. He had to get back to Ponyville, immediately. Apparently, it had turned out that, 'Grogar,' had been Discord all along, and  and that Chrysalis and the other's were on their way to the Equestrian heartland with the magic of an artifact so dangerous it had to be hidden away at the top of Equestria's tallest mountain and protected behind magical barrier's that made the wall's of Canterlot look like wet tissue paper. They also had absorbed the chaos magic of a certain draconequus. William had his work cut out for them. Step one  was to rush his way back to his town. It's not that he wanted to get back quickly to warn the resident's and his friends. It's that he wanted to neutralize the threat as quickly as possible. He wanted to turn what would usually be a defensive action into an offensive one as soon as possible. That was his philosophy. 


The flight back was relatively uneventful, there was the odd strange looking bird and wayward pegasus to look out for, but other than that. Everything was relatively calm. That was until he came within sight of Canterlot, and watched as a bolt of red magic tore it's way through the side of the throne room. "Ah, ####. This just got real, didn't it?"  A gust of wind blew across the deck. Well, time to go to work." He reached up and opened the balloon canopy ever so slightly, allowing him to descend towards the castle. As he got closer he got out his trusty M110 marksman's rifle and peered through it's glowing tritium optic. He did a quick survey of the city. And determined that it was only the castle that was under siege. The rest of the city was more or less unharmed. just then, another stray bolt of magic hit his balloon, and he began losing altitude just a little faster than he liked. 

"Oh c'mon! How many times am I gonna have airdrop into Canterlot!?" He shook his head and put on a parachute. He then waved the balloon goodbye and jumped. His chute opened just a few hundred feet off the ground, and the landing rattled his teeth. He landed just as the balloon crashed into the castle ramparts. Now on the ground, he quickly disposed of the chute, and went for his LMG again. The time for talking and negotiating with them was past, ponies were getting hurt, if not killed. He needed to end this threat as quickly as possible. Though maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to shoot Chrysalis. The though of that saddened him. Though would be more than happy to dispatch the other 2.  

As he ran through he garden he passed scenes of chaos and disorder, everywhere he looked, injured gaurdsponies and rubble littered the ground. He couldn't stop to help them. Rather than attempting to pull apart the debris blocking the side entrance. William just drew a Carl Gustav anti tank launcher and blasted through the wall at point blank. He bounded through the smoking crater and went back to his LMG. 


"William?" He looked off to the side just in time to watch Winger and Nightlight gallop past him. He was headed straight for the throne room. He already knew where those 3 would be and who they were after. As he ran the armor on his body was replaced by a set far more befitting of the situation. Rather than the usual high cut helmet and plate carrier he usually wore. He was now clad in a myriad or soft and hard Kevlar pads and plates. As well as a much larger and more protective helmet. 


He rounded the corner and entered the hallway leading up the the throne room doors. Which had been blown to smithereens by... Wait, Cozy Glow? William stopped to get a better look at the situation at hand. Cozy Glow, was now an alicorn. And in her magical grasp was the bell which he had been hunting for so long. In all honesty, the princesses, the six, and the magicless Discord weren't putting up much of a fight. Neither was the princesses personal guards. Nightlight had always told him about a running joke in the royal guard about how the royal's only selected the most inept guardsponies for their personal escorts. She was nowhere to be seen either. He spun out of cover and put his gun reticle on her head. He was about to pull the trigger when Rainbow Dash got in the way. 


"Damnit Rainbow! Move!" But by the time she had done what he had asked, not out of compliance but rather out of not wanting to get hit by the bolt of magic which was now flying towards him. He was able to catch it with a ballistic shield. Which cracked and deformed at the impact. He could feel the heat of the bolt arc around him. Even with all the armor. He dove back around the pillar to snatch an M203.  He heard Cozy taunting him. 

"How does it feel having to run William!? I hope you hate it!" He laughed. "Yeah, screw you. He whipped out from behind the pillar again and fired the grenade. It went off in mid air, Cozy was just barely able to get able to get a forcefield up bore the blast hit her. While the shrapnel and heat of the  detonation may have been deflected by it, the inertia and shock wave sent her little field ball tumbling across the room and into a pillar. She flew back up, and began to raise the bell of hers. But Was met by a hail of tungsten jacket 6.8. Causing her to take cover again. A half second later, the gunfire stopped. And was replaced instead by a hail of .50 BMG. And then twelve gauge flechettes. She was frozen in fear behind a marble pillar as William's gunfire tore it to shreds. 


All this time, Celestia and the other's had been taking cover on the far side of the throne room, doing their best to stay out of the  way and keep their ears covered, still, their ears were beginning to ring from the roar of all the gunfire. William motioned for them to run. " How'd the magic of friendship work for you Twilight!?" He called out as he began closing in on the pillar. The sound of the gunfire drowned out Cozy's cries of terror. It was then when she realized that she had made a grave mistake in deciding to attack this place. She tired to sneak out to use the bell again. But was once again forced behind the pillar. Which was now, alongside the northern side of the throne room, little more than a pile of rubble by now. All of a sudden, the gunshots ceased. And Cozy peaked her head out. Only to find herself staring down the barrel of an M82 Barrett. Franticly, she lit her horn, and fired off a bolt, which William easily sidestepped, and depressed the trigger. 

Had Tirek and Chrysalis not climbed through the window behind the thrones and snatched her up that  would have been then definitive end of Cozy Glow. She let out a disturbed laugh as they carried her away. And he watched Chrysalis give him and apologetic eye as she left. It was clear to William that bell she was still in possession of, combined with Discords magic had made the three significantly more powerful. Tirek was at least 50 feet tall from hoof to horns. And Chrysalis had an additional layer of greenish armor over her carapace as well as a chitin crown, he gave them the finger as they took off. 

"See ya later Chrissy!" William joked. He casually spun back around and smiled at the princesses. "Is it over?" Luna shakily asked. Her sister, Discord, and the six looked around at what had once been an ornately decorated throne room in utter astonishment. At last, Celestia stepped forward. "Ummm... Thank you for that... Um, 'colorful' display of violence William. Had you gotten here a few moment's later, we might not be having this conversation."

"When did Cozy Glow become an alicorn!?" Twilight questioned, dusting herself off. " I don't know." William responded, replacing his M82 with an H&K 416. He looked around at the group of shell shocked ponies. " You got here just in time to save our lives, our magic is Cozy's now. " William chuckled, and chambered a round in his rifle. He walked to the very edge of the destroyed balcony, and gazed out at the trial of destruction which was slowly making it's way south towards Ponyville.

"That, was just a skirmish. I need to get to Ponyville, now, and fast."
> The Rules Of Engagement: Part 2 (Finale)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Alright, teleport me there- Oh. Nevermind." William just shrugged. " You can still fly, right Celestia?" She nodded, "  Well, yes I can... What are you implying?" He scratched his neck. " I'd like you to fly me there, on your back. Please?" She thought about it for a moment. And nodded, " Very well then, just, don't kick me." He laughed, and got up on her back. He glanced back at the six. Who were doing their best to keep straight faces at the sight of what was happening. Luna was wide eyed in confusion. " Are you actually ok with this sister!?" She winked back at her sister. "Not normally, but our magic is gone. And as much as it pains me to admit, he's the best chance we have. He's come through for us in the past. " William frowned. " Y'all better have a glass of water and a hot meal ready for me when I get back. 'kay?"  They nodded. " Good luck William. Rainbow said to him as Celestia trotted over to the torn railing of the balcony with William on her back. " Hold on William!"  She took off towards Ponyville.  

"I'll have you know this is a one time thing. " She smiled up at him, " I got no issue with that ma'am. But then again, you can never know what might happen in the feature. " He quipped as the pair sped southwards.  

"You're oddly cheerful. For a situation as dire as this one." William looked off the to the side, down at the forest and grassland far below. " What can I say? Grumpiest guy in peacetime. Happiest in a firefight. "  She raised an eyebrow. " What an odd philosophy. You know, you've never seemed that grumpy to me." He blinked and rubbed his eyes, and looked though the EOtech sight on his rifle. " I got it from a drill sergeant back on earth." She nodded as though she understood what he was talking about.

"Here. Right dead center of my street." William motioned with a gloved hand for the alicorn to set him down. As soon as her hooves touched the ground he hopped off and gave her a thumbs up. And turned make for Twilight's castle. " Don't you need help!?" William looked back at her.  And replied with a flat, "No."  Just then he felt the ground shake. And the lumbering form of Tirek came up over the hill just down the road. " William, you're going to pay for what you did to me!!!" Now, normally, that would be worrisome enough, actually. Correction, he wouldn't have been worried about it normally. 

But this was different, his house was just a few yards away. And he took the safety of his property very seriously.  He raised the 416 and squeezed off a couple 2 round burst's at Tirek. Who howled in pain as the rounds stuck him in the chest where William had struck him with a rock pick prior to this fight. And returned the  5.56 FMJ with a beam of fiery magic, which went high over his head. William ran to the other side of the street and fired off a shot from a pistol grip M203. Which landed at the base of Tirek's hooves. He grabbed his hoof and began stumbling around. William fired again with an RPG 7. This one took off clipped the edge off Tirek's horn. The minotaur fell backwards onto a house, nearly flattening the whole thing, before scrambling off back into the woods behind the town.  As he tore his way through the tree's he turned to look back town the road to see Crimson Starwatcher in her doorway with a mischievous grin on her face. He heard a distant cockatrice screech in the forest, followed by Tirek screaming in terror. He winked in her direction. Without saying another word to Celestia. He hurried off towards the school, just as he was off his street he bumped into Joey. Who asked about the minotaur he had just peppered with bullets, why he had just flown into town on Celestia's back, and why that same minotaur was now screaming like a little girl. He waved him away without explaining any of it beyond. " Something important, I've gotta go." And kept running with a death grip on his rifle. Meanwhile Celestia shook her head out of the sheer absurdity of the situation and flew off to explain everything to Joey. And see if she could get him to help. 


William arrived at the school just in time to find Starlight Glimmer  with Chrysalis  who was hovering over the rooftop, he slung his rifle over his should and began scaling the building. "Hey, Chrysalis." She paused for a moment to look behind her, watching as William pulled himself up onto the rooftop. " William- Don't interrupt this! She's the one who stole my hive from me!"  She stomped her hoof at Starlight, and smirked back at William.  Then went back to looking at Starlight. " No matter, you're just the head mare I wanted to see. " 

"You didn't make an appointment." Starlight lit her horn and tackled the changeling right into William. The three of them disappeared in a flash of sky blue light. Leaving only the echoes of William's bellowing roar of anger. 


William hit a bank of snow with a hard thump. As his body made contact with the white ground, his uniform changed to match it.  "What is this place!?" He heard Chrysalis growl. " What is this place!?" He trudged over to her through the snow, and tapped on her shoulder. " What are you doing?" He demanded, " You do realize she's gonna beat you. Right?" 

" What do you propose?" She asked, making circles in the snow with her hoof, William grabbed a clump of snow and whipped her across the face with it. She hit him on the top of his helmet. William grabbed her by the leg and dropped her to the ground, and she kicked him dead center of his vest. " Make it look convincing." He whispered. The 2 fell in a heap as snow began flying up all around them. Starlight blinked in confusion.  "Uh, did I miss something?" William was to busy brawling to respond. The pair rolled off a nearby cliff and into another snow bank. "Starlight!" William yelled out over the chaos, " Teleport us back!"

"But if I do that, she'll-" William looked at her, and sighed Just as Chrysalis dragged him back down, and he left hooked her in the face. " Damnit Starlight, do it!!!" She lit her horn and brought the three back. They tumbled out into a grassy meadow on the outskirts of Ponyville. Standing at the top of a nearby hill overlooking the whole scene. Was... Well... Everyone. Every sentient creature which had a connection to Twilight and her friends was there. He glanced behind him and saw a wounded Tirek and mostly intact Cozy Glow with the glowing bell hovering in between them. Chrysalis got up beside him, and glanced around.  Uh, William?" He slowly nodded, " No sudden movements." Twilight began to glow, and began what he assumed was supposed to be an important monologue, "The element's showed me and my friends how strong our friendship could be, together we worked together to bring harmony to Equestria... " William groaned, and rubbed his forehead, "Hey, hold up!" 

He drew his sidearm and popped one round off into the air, drawing the attention of both sides. " Now just hol' up here! Folk's, some of you may know me, some of you may not. My name's William, I've been living here 'bout 2 years. And let me tell ya." He chuckled, " We don't need no magic of friendship, hell, I've saved your world many times without it. And ok Twilight, maybe you need to tell yourself that so you can feel important. I understand that, but the point that I'm getting at is, you shouldn't be going on and on about this hippie crap and floating around in the air glowin' like you're the next savior of all Equestria!" He checked his watch. And tapped his boot twice. 

"And before you go off sayin' that the element's, or the tree of harmony taught you how to be friends. Well, that sure as hell ain't the case either, creatures on this world have been doing it naturally for as long as sentient life has existed here.  Plus, how many of you knew that glorified potted plant that was the Tree of Harmony? Now, it may have been good to a few of you, it may have been benevolent on occasion. I can understand that as well, but if you really got to know it. You'd realize just how bad that abomination was!" Joey glared at him from the crowd with a look of, "What the hell are you doing!?" Plastered on his face. 

" What are you talking about!?" Twilight shouted down at William from her perch in mid air, completely breaking character in the moment.  

"Well, all I'm sayin' Twilight is that, you know me, solvin' it like this is a bad idea. So I'd suggest that y'all get down from 'ere and let me handle this. " William whipped around, and looked back at Tirek and Cozy Glow. Who were eyeing Chrysalis. 

"And how, pray tell, how are you going to, as you say, 'handle,' these two. And the Windigos? " Luna gestured up at the sky. William glanced an eye up, an d sure enough. Swirling in the dark clouds above him were the ghostly shapes of horses galloping in circles. "Hmmm... You know, I've been wanting to do this for a while. I'd advise everyone here that's up on that hill to run. Unless you wanna die" His shoulder and left hand began to glow a faint green, and the vague silhouette of an M28 Davey Crockett shoulder fired tactical nuclear warhead began to form.


"Holy ponyfeathers!" Joey called out, recoiling back in surprise. "Alright, you heard the crazy human!" He bounded up into the air. " What's he doing!?" Twilight and Celestia asked Joey over the roar of the windigos.  It was Luna who spoke up. "Joey's right, we need to leave, now. I've seen this before in William's dreamscape. "

"Let's see... Ah! Screw the 300 yard minimum arming distance!" William murmured to himself as the glow grew brighter, and the launcher began to take shape. Along with it, an odd silhouette began to form around him. That of his equine self, Hailstorm. "William, what's happening?" Chrysalis asked, her voice full of concern.

'Her voice full of concern.' William turned to her, and gave her a booming laugh of insanity. " Errr... Try not to let this kill you!" Meanwhile, what was left of the crowd looked on in awe and terror at what was going on. For Tirek and Cozy Glow it was even worse. They were just under 200 yards from William. Whatever Twilight and her friends might have done, it likely wouldn't have done much real harm to them.  Now, more then ever, they genuinely feared for their lives. Cozy Glow tapped the bell, and a bubble of magic appeared around him. Crackling with energy. 

The silhouette around William had become far more visible now.  It spun around and looked right at the crowd, and raised up one of it's wing's, extending the most outward glowing feather in the pegasus equivalent of a thumbs up. Then went back to glaring at Tirek and Cozy. 

"  To whom it may concern, burn in hell!"

The launcher became manifest, and William pulled down on the trigger, letting the most powerful piece of ordinance he had ever created lose on the plains of southern Equestria. It soared across the grassland, and you couldn't tell the difference between the launcher going off and the warhead detonating.


A mushroom cloud blossomed over the area.  Annihilating the entire valley in a flash of light and heat. As the mushroom cloud began to dissipate into the air, it soon became clear to every creature there that the crazy operator's plan had indeed worked. The windigos were nowhere to be seen, and the clouds above had begun to dissipate. William however, was nowhere to be found. 


About a half second later, a dusty figure appeared from the forest parallel to the valley. It was William, clad in in full battle armor with a fully enclosed helmet obscuring his face. holding the spent M28 in one hand, and a Geiger counter in the other. He walked all the way to the top of the hill, and the launcher disappeared. He held the counter up to the sky, and waved it around for a few moment's, then brought it back down. "Huh, that's way less radiation than I expected. Eh, no Fallout Equestria today." He pulled his helmet off, and looked back down the opposite side of the hill.  "Hey Joey! Nice save with the teleport-" He suddenly felt about a dozen fluffy bodies crash against him and wrap their hooves around him. he slowly peered down. " What are y'all doing? Did you think I was dead or something?" He furrowed his brow. 

"You can let go now. I'm not exactly big on affection. " The crowd all smiled, and backed away from him. " William!" Joey called out, " That was... Awesome! I can't believe that I was actually able to teleport!" 

"Crisis fosters opportunity bud. " Now, I've got one more thing to do. Leave me alone." He spun back around and marched down the hill as though he hadn't just survived his own nuclear detonation. He looked through the smoke, and on the very edge of the crater, he found Chrysalis. Alive. She was immediately approached by a group or royal guards. William ordered them away, and knelt down next to the stunned changeling. 

"Well, what now?" She asked, William helped her to all 4's. "Well, Celestia's going to have a few words with you. Typical bull#### political stuff. But you'll get your freedom. And hey, if you can't get your hive back I know a place in Ponyville that'll take you. And, no, it's not me."  The cloud of smoke and dust had dissipated enough for William to see that Cozy Glow and Tirek were, by the grace of that damned bell's magic, still alive. Albeit scared to death, a moment passed, then a bolt of lightning hit them, turning the pair to stone. Apparently, the blast had also cracked the bell, allowing the magic contained within to escape. 

"Aw, c'mon! You couldn't have let me- Eh, I suppose that's fair. Gotta follow the, 'rules of engagement,' to some degree. Ah, you know I'm just joking with y'all! " He walked over to the statue and knocked on Cozy's forehead. Then looked back at the royals, and the six, and, well... Every other creature that had fled was now returning to see what had happened. "What are you all looking at!? Go back to whatever the hell it was yous was doing before all this happened!" The crowd dispersed. 

"And before you go thanking, or grill me for anything I just did, let me remind you that I was promised a glass of water and a hot meal!" Celestia rolled her eyes. "Same old William. You will never change, will you?"

"No, I won't. Now, food! And everyone else that just with me, follow me! I need to have a talk with y'all over said food!"

Twilight stared at the destruction and chaos which William had brought. "How did we get here?" She asked Joey.

"Day by Day, Twilight. Day by Day."