> King Sombra's Legion Of Doom: Season 1
>  by KingSombraTheTyrantRuler
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The plot against Equestria.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Plot Against Equestria

Description: The series opening follows the assembly of the Legion of Doom and their first unsuccessful attempt to conquer the world.

Episode number: 1



King Sombra was sitting on his throne in his castle when something hit him.

He thought, Why should I rule just the Crystal Empire when I can take over this whole world?

Sombra said at the top of his voice, "Guard 1, come here! I want you to tell General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion and Air Chief Comet to come to my throne room this instant!"

The guard did as he was told and came back with the ponies Sombra had wanted. The trio bowed.

General Monoceros asked in his terrible sounding voice, "King Sombra, may I ask what the trouble is?"

Sombra replied, "I was just sitting on my throne, enjoying being King, when something hit me. I-"

"Something hit you?"  gasped Chief Comet in his child-like voice. "Was it lightning?"

Sombra glared at him. "No one can interrupt the King while he is speaking. And as an answer to your question, no, I did not get hit by lightning. When I said I got hit by something, I was using that as a figure of speech to say that I got a wonderful thought." He added, "Of course, only very smart people such as myself know that."

"Ooh," nodded Comet. "A figure of speech..."

The King cleared his throat. "As I was saying before I was interuppted, I got hit by something. And that something was a thought. Why rule just the Crystal Empire when I can take over and rule this entire world? So, the decision has been made. I want to take over the world."

Admiral Aerion swallowed his mouthful of donuts. "What a splendid idea Your Highness."

King Sombra ignored Aerion as usual and continued, "Monoceros, I want you to train the unicorns to cast twenty spells or more within  less than five minutes. Aerion, train the naval forces. And lastly, Comet, I want you to train the pegasi to fly fast enough to make storms. Do you understand?"

Monoceros said, "Yes my king."

Aerion nodded, "Yes, my king."

And Air Chief Comet said, "Yes, King Sombra, I understand."

Sombra told them, "Good. Now out! Start your work!"

The trio rushed out to start their work. When King Sombra went to check on them, he found Air Chief Comet sleeping, Admiral Aerion eating doughnuts, and only General Monoceros doing the work he was supposed to.

Sombra yelled, "Comet! Now isn't time for sleeping! Aerion! I'll not let you eat doughnuts for a whole week! Get back to work!"

Air Chief Comet and Admiral Aerion both jumped. Aerion dropped his doughnuts on the floor and was picking them up when Sombra screamed, "No more doughnuts for you Aerion!"

Saying that the King took Aerion's doughnuts away and threw them into the dustbin.

Thinking Sombra had gone for good, the Air Chief continued his nap. Only for King Sombra to return a second later and yell, "That's it Comet! No more naps for you!"

The Air Chief stuttered, "B-but I was tired."

Sombra yelled, "I don't give a fuck if you're tired!"

Comet's excuse was, "If I'm tired, then I won't be able to train the pegasi. It's hard jumping and running to show them what to do. You know, since I'm not a pegasus, I can't fly."

"...Fine, you may continue having naps. But if you nap on the job again, you will be punished."

Sombra started walking away when the Admiral cried, "It's unfair! Comet gets to nap while I don't get to eat my doughnuts!"

Sombra turned to Aerion. "And what is your excuse for eating doughnuts when I told you to work?"

Aerion's excuse was, "If I'm hungry while training the naval forces, then I might eat the ships!"

Sombra sighed, knowing that Aerion was enough of an idiot to do that. "Fine, you can eat your doughnuts."

Sombra levitated the box of doughnuts out of the dustbin and into Aerion's hands. And to the disgust of everyone around him, he began eating the donuts.

The King sighed and teleported back to Castle Sombra.

He had just sat on his throne when he felt hungry. He yelled, "Cooks! Make some food! I'm hungry!"

Sombra's yell was so loud that he could be heard from the kitchen which was deep underground.

The cooks, better known as Sombra's Cooks started making Sombra's food. It was Saturday today, so they made Sand Sandwiches, which were like normal sandwiches except that they were made of sand.

They took it to Sombra and as usual, he destroyed the sandwich and plate just by glaring at it.

He yelled, "Do I look like I like sand sandwiches?! Get me some proper food!"

The cooks hurried back to the kitchen and made some Shrimp Sausages that they knew Sombra hated.

They took it to him, and a minute later they were back in the kitchen. They were thinking of the next thing that Sombra hated to eat.

They were brainless, so they made the same mistakes every day. They decided to make Scones, another thing Sombra hated.

55 dishes that Sombra hated and destroyed later, they made the one thing that Sombra liked. Spaghetti with goat Sausages.

Sombra was the only pony who ate meat. When General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion, and Air Chief Comet entered the dining hall, they covered their noses so that they would be unable to smell the meat.

They ate plain Spaghetti, not even putting any ketchup on it. The ketchup, of course, was just pony's blood.

After the quiet dinner, Sombra had his evening bath. He liked to have a bath every hour so that he would smell fresher than anypony else, and that they all would be jealous of him.

The only time that Sombra didn't have a bath was when he slept. When Sombra slept, 200 guards guarded his door.

If anypony disturbed him, or if the guards talked, or if they even sneezed, then Sombra executed them.

10 years ago, five hundred ponies used to be executed for disturbing Sombra. Then, it had gone from five hundred to three hundred, and three hundred to one hundred.

Then from one hundred to fifty, and from fifty to ten. So, every morning ten ponies were killed for annoying the King.

Soon, the guards hoped that nopony would be senseless enough to annoy King Sombra. They hated having to smell blood every morning and also having to move the rotting bodies.

But, it was Sombra's laws. Unlike other ponies, Sombra loved killing others and seeing them in pain.

The only time he would smile was when somepony hurt themselves. Then, he would tell them how stupid they were for getting hurt.

But when he hurt himself, Radiant Hope, the only doctor in the world would have to take care of him for a month.

Even if all he got was a bang on the head. That took a lot of Radiant's time up, but she didn't mind.

Radiant was in love with the King. She loved him so much, but he had no idea of that.

He mistreated her, even though they had known each other since they had been foals.

Radiant believed that Sombra loved her, even though he loved nopony.

Luckily, he never told her that or she would've died of sadness. Such was her love for him.



When the sun rose, King Sombra woke up. His servants arrived to put his armor on him, brush his mane, brush his teeth, bathe him, and do everything for him.

The only things that he did by himself were eating, casting spells, drinking, walking, planning, killing and talking.

After all, he was a King. Why should he have to do things like keeping himself tidy with his hooves?

King Sombra decided to start making his plan. If Comet had trained the pegasi like he was supposed to, then they would be able to pie-face anypony they ran into.

Sombra sent a servant to bring General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion, and Air Chief Comet to his plan room.

The plan room was a room in the castle which was used for making plans.

When the three wanted ponies arrived, King Sombra said, "Listen colts, here's the plan. If you, Comet trained the pegasi like you were supposed to, then this evening they would be able to drop giant pies on everypony. 

If you, Monoceros trained the unicorns properly, then as soon as the pies trap ponies, they would be able to chain the ponies. 

And lastly, Aerion if you trained the naval forces, then the seas, oceans, and rivers would be ours. Does everyone understand?"

Admiral Aerion and Air Chief Comet began sweating because while General Monoceros had been training his unicorns, they had been eating doughnuts and sleeping.

But they pretended that they did complete their tasks. So they said, "Yes King Sombra, we understand."

Sombra said, "Good. Now you can have some time to rest."

The General, the Admiral, and the Air Chief ran out of the room. General Monoceros ran to get some rest while Admiral Aerion and Air Chief Comet ran because they were worried.

Admiral Aerion asked the Air Chief, "What should we do? While we were eating and sleeping, the King thought we were training. And now, he expects us to be resting."

"We could just relax. We'll worry about other things later," said the Air Chief.

Aerion said, "But I don't want to be in the dungeon with the dungeon dwellers. Those ponies are insane!"

The dungeons dwellers were a group of ponies who had been in the dungeon for so long, that King Sombra had forgotten why he had even put them in there in the first place.

Comet laughed, "Stop worrying so much. I think you're losing your doughnuts."

Admiral Aerion looked at his doughnut bag which he always kept under his wing and saw a hole in the bag.

He ripped the bag, thinking that it would make the hole smaller, but now all his doughnuts were rolling away!

He flew after them in a panic and picked them all up. At least Aerion had his training.



Admiral Aerion, Air Chief Comet, and General Monoceros were woken up by the sound of Sombra saying, "Time to attack!"

They jumped out of their beds and quickly got their armies ready to attack.

King Sombra was standing in front of his castle, waiting for the armies. Admiral Aerion, in a panic, threw all the boats into the water, and his army rowed.

Air Chief Comet, unprepared, told the pegasi to take the pies and throw them on everypony they saw.

And General  Monoceros, the only one who had practiced, told his unicorns to chain everypony they saw. Be it flying pegasi, rowing earth ponies, or spell casting unicorns.

What happened next was a disaster. The naval force ponies had been covered in pie, the pie-dropping pegasi were chained and fell to the ground, and the spell casting unicorns had chained each other after being covered with pie.

King Sombra screamed in anger, "You fools! I told you to practice! Now I'll never be able to rule the world!"
> Chuck E. Sombra.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: Chuck E. Sombra.
Description: While Radiant Hope scrambles to fix an urgent last minute issue, Sombra has his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Episode number: 2.
**********************************************************************
Today was a day that had started like any other. After King Sombra's servants had finished doing his morning things for him after he woke up, the King had decided to check on how his army's training was going.

But when he went to the army training grounds, he saw that General Monoceros was reading comics, Admiral Aerion was eating doughnuts, and Air Chief Comet was sleeping.

Strangely, when Sombra went to take Aerion's doughnuts away, the Admiral instead of hiding his doughnuts said, "King Sombra! Would you like to have some of my doughnuts?"

Sombra replied, "No."

Aerion asked, "Then would you like anything else?"

King Sombra was about to say no when he got an idea. Instead of saying no, he said, "Yes I would like something."

"And what is it, my King?", asked the Admiral.

Sombra told him, "For you to train the naval forces like you're supposed to!"

The Admiral said, "But my King, today is a no workday."

"What do you mean, Aerion?", asked Sombra.

Aerion replied, "Today is a day on which we are not allowed to do work, even if we wanted to."

"And who said that?"

Aerion said, "You did, King Sombra."

"I did not!"

"You did."

"Did not.", said Sombra.

"Did."

The Air Chief, who had been sleeping, or at least trying to, got up from his deckchair and walked to the arguing Sombra and Aerion.

Standing next to Sombra, Air Chief Comet began, "With all due disrespect, King Sombra." He breathed and continued, "Could you and Admiral Aerion talk quieter? I'm trying to sleep."

The Admiral laughed, "You should be the court jester, Air Chief Comet."

King Sombra asked the Air Chief, "Comet, why does Aerion think that today is a no workday?"

"Because it is, Your Sombraness.", was the Chief's reply.

"Do not call me that.", snapped King Sombra. "What makes today a no workday?"

"Your orders.", replied Comet.

Sombra face hoofed. These two were SO annoying. Why couldn't they give PROPER answers?

Sombra sighed, "I did NOT order such a thing. What is the real reason?"

The Admiral and Air Chief both said at the same time, "Today is your birthday!"

"Today is NOT my birthday.", said Sombra.

"It is.", said the Admiral.

"Is not.",  replied Sombra.

To stop another argument from happening, and so that he could get his precious sleep, Air Chief Comet said, "You could ask Doctor Radiant Hope. She'll tell you."

"Fine, I will.", said Sombra. "And if I was RIGHT, and today ISN'T my birthday,  then I'll punish you three."

Saying that King Sombra teleported to the castle's infirmary where Radiant Hope was always found. But when he opened the door and went inside, instead of finding Hope, he found a note on the table.

On the note in neat hoofwriting was written, 'If anypony is looking for me, then please know that I am busy fixing something and cannot be disturbed. I'll be back soon. Signed, Radiant Hope.'

Sombra put the note on the table and sighed. He'd never know if today was his birthday.

But if it was today, then it would be marked as the worst one ever, because he wasted it.

Just in case today WAS his birthday, King Sombra decided to go somewhere for his birthday party.

But where should he go? Sombra wanted to go somewhere different today, not just to another room in the castle.

He decided to talk to those annoying colts who were called Admiral Aerion, Air Chief Comet, and General Monoceros.

Sombra teleported back to the training grounds and said, "Comet! Monoceros! Aerion! Come here."

The trio rushed to Sombra and the Admiral asked, "We were right, weren't we?"

"About what?", asked Sombra.

The Air Chief said, "About the fact that today is your birthday."

Sombra said, "I couldn't find Hope, so I couldn't ask her."

"Oh.", said the General.

King Sombra continued, "But just in case today IS my birthday, I decided to go somewhere for my party."

"And?", asked Comet.

Sombra said, "I don't want to stay in my castle. I want to go somewhere else. But I have no idea where to go for my party."

"How about going to Chuck E. Cheese?", suggested Aerion.

The King asked, "What do you do there? Chuck cheese?"

"No!", said Monoceros. "It's a centre for parties and entertainment."

"Have any of you been there before?", asked Sombra.

The three of them said, "No."

When Sombra gave them a look, the Admiral said, "But we've heard about it."

"Fine. I suppose I'll check this Chuck E. Cheese out. But if I don't like it, you'll regret.", said Sombra.

The Air Chief asked, "So are we going?"

"Yes.", confirmed Sombra.

Air Chief Comet began jumping like a little colt. He said, "Yay! We're going to Chuck E. Cheese!" 

That evening, a very annoyed King Sombra, General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion, and a very happy and annoying Air Chief Comet found themselves at Chuck E. Cheese.

After spending a few minutes there, Sombra decided that he liked Chuck E. Cheese and that he would stay there until midnight.

While King Sombra and the colts were having fun, Radiant Hope was busy fixing a device.

It was hard, but Hope didn't give up on fixing it because she knew that it would explode if she didn't fix it now.

And that is why, in her diary, she referred to it as 'The last-minute problem'.

After putting her diary in its place, Hope looked at her calendar and saw that today was Sombra's birthday.

She quickly got a box out of her bag and ran around the castle, looking for Sombra so that she could give him his present.

But, she couldn't find him anywhere. After asking one of the guards, Hope found out that Sombra had gone to Chuck E. Cheese.

She ran there, forgetting that she could've teleported there.

Once in, she found Sombra sitting at a table with General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion, and Air Chief Comet.

She ran to him and out of breath said, "Sombra, I'm so sorry that I didn't come earlier. it's just that I was busy fixing something that couldn't wait. Here's your present. I hope you like it."

Saying that Hope gave Sombra the present she had made for him.

Sombra opened the box and saw a book, a small cake, and a cape inside.

He took the book out and opened it. Inside were pictures of him and Hope as foals.

Then he took the cape out. The cape was covered with shiny red crystals.

And last of all the cake. After eating a piece of it, Sombra identified the flavour as crystals and pony blood.

Hope, who was watching him, asked, "Do you like it?"

Sombra replied, "No, I don't like it."

"Why not?" Hope cried, her eyes already wet with tears.

Sombra told her, "Because I love it."

Hope dried her tears and hugged  Sombra. The King was surprised but hugged her too.

Air Chief Comet, who was watching them, said to Aerion, "Ooh! I think they're going to kiss!"

Sombra broke the hug and said, "Of course we're not! It's too early for that!"

Hope laughed, "Yes, it's too early for that."
> Kings and Queens.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: Kings and Queens.
Description: On the day Sombra is set to announce who he will choose as Queen, an old flame of his comes to visit, leading Radiant Hope to try to win her king’s favor.
Episode number: 3.
********************************************************************************************************

Today was the day that was called 'The King's Queen'. It was called that because every year, on this day, King Sombra would tell his Royal Announcer to announce that he was going to choose a Queen.

The only reason he did this was not because he needed a queen, or wanted one, but because he found it amusing to see how every mare in the Empire would fight over the smallest of things.

King Sombra's Royal Announcer stood in the middle of the Empire, with a headset and announced, "Calling all mares! Today is the day that King Sombra shall hopefully choose a queen from amongst yourselves, and end this ridiculous day, and give me a holiday, and doughnuts, and banish me from the Empire so that I will not have to announce anything for the rest of my terrible life! I hope that today will not be as terrible and ridiculous and annoying, and disastrous, and I don't have any more words to describe it, as the other years. Now starts the terrible day on which every stallion would willingly jump off a cliff, and it is called the day of The King's Queen. I have nothing else to say because I have run out of words. Good day to you mares, and unlucky stallions."

After that, the Royal Announcer rolled up the scroll from which he had been reading and ran back to Castle Sombra.

All the mares who had heard dropped their cooking, foals, and stopped whatever they had been doing and started making things to impress King Sombra.

A mare who wanted to make a crystal berry pie had gone to the shop to buy the crystal berries, but another mare beat her to it and had bought all the berries.

Once out of the shop, they fought with each other. In the end, the berries were squashed.

Another mare whose name was Sassy was busy covering herself in make-up, and by the time she had finished, she looked like a ball of flour, with ketchup, and lots of other things.

A mare whose name was Cassey had just left a shop with her new dress, and the minute she had left, a group of mares jumped on her and fought to get the dress.

By the time a few guards had run to stop the fight, the dress was destroyed, and Cassey was crying over her ruined dress. Such was the silliness of the day.

While this was what the mares outside Castle Sombra were doing, Radiant Hope, the castle's doctor was not doing any of those things.

Instead, she waited for patients to come into the hospital. When none had come for almost three hours, Hope decided to have some breakfast.

So, she went into the dining hall to have breakfast. At the table was King Sombra, General Monoceros, Admiral Aerion, and Air Chief Comet.

King Sombra was eating goat sausages, Admiral Aerion was eating doughnuts (it was the only thing he ate), Air Chief Comet was eating sweets, and General Monoceros was eating a sand sandwich.

Hope decided to eat some cereal. She was just pouring the milk when the hall's doors burst open and fell off. Hope's milk spilt on the table, and when it reached the Admiral and Air Chief, the Admiral put his doughnuts in it, and the Air Chief put his sweets in it.

Standing where the doors used to be, was a mare who had white fur, and a light blue mane. Her cutie mark was a snowflake and she was a pegasus.

Ignoring the damage caused, she ran to King Sombra and hugged him.

Then, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Sombra! It's me, Triste! Do you remember me? Or did you forget?"

King Sombra moved her using his magic and then said, "Yes I remember you, Triste. I could never forget you."

"That's great then!", said Triste. "You know why I'm here, right?"

Admiral Aerion asked, "To eat doughnuts?"

Air Chief Comet asked, "To get covered in sugar?"

General Monoceros hit both of them on the head and said, "Quiet you, dorks!"

"Hey!", moaned Aerion and Comet at the same time. "We're not dorks."

Then they turned around, and Aerion punched Comet in the face saying, "Hey! I was saying that! You copied me, you copy-cat!"

Comet slapped Aerion and said, "Of course I didn't copy you! You copied me, you dork!" Then he added, "What does dork mean anyways?"

King Sombra shouted, "It means you three! You big dorks! Can't you see that I'm talking to my old flame?"

Triste asked, "I guess you know why I'm here?"

King Sombra replied, "For today?"

"I'm here because I want you to make me your queen!", said Triste.

After hearing that, Radiant Hope thought, 'What! She left him all those years ago, and now she demands to be Sombra's queen! If anything, I should be his queen. Sombra loves me, and only me! I'll need to impress him, but in a better way than those mares outside.'

Hope stood and started walking away from the table, leaving her spilt milk and not touched cereal. Then, she fixed the doors with her magic and teleported to her room in the castle.

In there, Hope made a mess looking for her makeup, and other things.

Then, she sat in front of her mirror and started putting makeup on. She spent a full five hours there, just doing her makeup.

Once she was done, she teleported back to the dining hall where King Sombra and his old flame was.

Hope had used some perfume that had a strong smell, but Sombra didn't even look at her once. Hope thought,' How can he not notice me, with all that perfume I used? What am I to do now?'

Then Hope looked at Admiral Aerion and Air Chief Comet. She got an idea which was, 'Maybe I need to make him jealous.'

Hope then walked to the Air Chief and the Admiral. She asked, "Are you two busy today?"

The Admiral and Air Chief both said at the same time, "No. We're not busy."

Then they were about to hit each other when Hope said, "That's great. I need you two to help me with something."

"Sure.", said the pair and followed Hope to her room where she told them her plan.

"So you want to make the King jealous?", asked Air Chief Comet.

Hope replied, "Yes."

Admiral Aerion asked, "Are you sure you can do that?"

"Yes.", said Hope. "Here's the plan. I'll be putting some more makeup on, while you two will make yourselves look like the best and most handsome stallions in Equestria!"

Then, Hope sat in front of her mirror and put more makeup on. A few hours later when Aerion, Comet, and Hope were completely ready, they walked into the throne room, the Air Chief and Admiral standing next to Hope.

Since Sombra was too busy talking to see them, Hope said loudly to the stallions next to her, "You two are the most charming and most handsome stallions I've ever met!"

Admiral Aerion replied, "Why thank you, Dear Hope."

"You are the most beautiful mare that I have met in my entire life!", was the Air Chief's reply.

At this, Triste walked away from Sombra and to the group. She said, "Hah! I will be Sombra's queen, you hear me, Hope? I shall be his queen. He'd never choose somepony like you."

Hope said louder than Triste had, "I shall be Sombra's queen. He loves me just like I love him. He would never choose somepony like yourself!"

Triste said, "You put too much makeup on!"

"Oh yeah?", asked Hope. "You put too less!"

"He'd never choose you!", screamed Triste.

"He'd never choose you!", said Hope.

"Why don't you go and ask the king?", suggested the Admiral and Air Chief.

Hope said, "That's a good idea."

And then she and Triste walked towards Sombra. Triste said, "My lovely Sombra, you'd never choose that mare, would you?"

"My charming handsome king, who loves only me, you'd never choose her to be your queen, would you?", asked Hope.

Sombra said, "You know what? You both are right."

"How?", asked Hope and Triste at the same time.

Sombra replied, "I won't choose you, or you."

"Then who?", asked the mares.

"Nopony.", was the King's answer.

"But...", said Triste.

"You love me!", said Hope.

"I might love you Hope, but I won't choose you or Triste as my queen."
> Dungeons And Dictators.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: Dungeons And Dictators.

Description: Sombra and company play a fantasy role playing game with disastrous results.

Episode number: Four.





It was morning in Castle Sombra, and King Sombra was trying to eat his breakfast, which was Grilled Chicken Wings.

As he ate his breakfast, he watched General Monoceros, Air Chief Comet and Admiral Aerion argue.

Aerion had been eating his doughnuts for breakfast as he did everyday when Monoceros had said, "Admiral Aerion? I don't think it's healthy for you to eat doughnuts everyday."

Comet chimed in, "Yeah! I totally agree with General Monoceros."

Aerion swallowed his mouthful of doughnuts and said, "I can eat whatever I want."

"But it's not healthy at all!" the General exclaimed.

"I don't give a buck about healthy. I like- nay, love doughnuts, and it's the only thing I shall eat."

"But that's so boring! I mean, I used to like having cheese every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I got so bored of it," said the Air Chief.

"Lies. All lies," said Aerion. "I know that the actual reason you stopped eating cheese all the time was because General Monoceros, the oh-so-healthiest-of-us-all kept telling you every day about how unhealthy it was. Even when you told him to stop talking and he stopped, you knew that he was still giving you the stink eye from across the table. So eventually, you just said 'buck cheese' and got rid of it all."

Comet turned red with embarrassment. "T-that's not true!" he stuttered.



 Flashback:

A much younger Air Chief Comet grins as he eats yet another bowl of melted cheese. "Ah," he smiles in delight, taking in the delicious smell of the cheese, "I love this."

General Monoceros looks away from his very healthy breakfast and says with his nose in the air, "Air Chief Comet! Do you know how unhealthy it is to eat cheese every day for lunch, breakfast, and dinner?! It is so unhealthy, that I'm unable to eat my extremely healthy breakfast because of you!"

"General Monoceros, with all due respect, we've already talked about this. I am Air Cheese Comet, so I must eat cheese all the time. Just like how Admiral Aerion always eats his donuts!"

"But Comet, King Sombra mistakenly called you Air Cheese Comet. It was supposed to be Chief, not Cheese!"

"General Monoceros, I beg you, please stop talking about this."

Monoceros sighs. "As you wish, Air Chief."




A few days later...

Air Chief Comet smiles as he eats his breakfast of cheese. But today, he feels like someone is staring at him. He looks up to see that General Monoceros is giving him the stink eye from across the table, which is the same thing he had done for the last couple of days.

Sighing, Comet stands up on the table, and bucks his bowl of melted cheese away. The bowl and the spoon land in the very conveniently placed dustbin, and Monoceros smiles.

End of flashback.





"Is."

"Is not."

"Is."

"Is not."

"Is."

"Is not."

Monoceros interuppted them as he was getting a headache from their bickering. "It's true! I'm so sorry Comet," he sobbed pathetically. "I made you hate the only thing you loved!" He continued to cry.

At this, King Sombra laughed and shot a few times into the air with his special attention gathering gun.

"Everypony!" he began. "I know that the past few weeks have been very boring as all we've been doing is sweating to death in this heat even though we're in the bucking Crystal Empire. So... We shall play this game which is called- Dungeons And Dictators!"

Comet applauded. "Yay!" He then got a paper and pen and wrote... "Is this how you spell Dungeons And Dictators?" he asked.

Monoceros took a look at the paper and literally fainted as soon as he saw what was written upon it.

Aerion laughed when he saw that, and then asked for the paper.

Comet gave it to him, and the Admiral threw a couple of donuts in his mouth before reading the paper.

He turned to Comet and proceeded to spit all his donuts onto the Air Chief.

"What the buck did you write?! Dungeons And Dicktasters?!"

"Isn't that how you spell Dungeons And Dictators?" Comet asked.

"No!" King Sombra, Admiral Aerion, and General Monoceros (who had woken up from his faint) all yelled at once.

"Then like this?" Comet crossed it out and wrote it again.

Aerion threw some more donuts into his mouth and then checked. "Dungeons And Dicks?! No!"

Before the Air Chief could try and spell it again, Radiant Hope walked in to see...

Comet holding a piece of paper and a pen with his face covered in chewed up and spat out donuts, Aerion trying to pull the paper off him, General Monoceros unconscious on the ground, and King Sombra leaning back in his chair and watching all the chaos.

"What in King Sombra's name is going on here?!" Hope asked.

But with all the chaos going on, nopony heard her. So she made a small magical explosion and screamed, "What the buck in King Sombra's name is going on here?!"

The three stallions stopped fighting, and King Sombra sat up.

"Ah, Hope, so nice to see you," Aerion began.

"We definitely weren't fighting," Comet lied.

General Monoceros regained his consciousness and said, "I swear that I wasn't fighting."

"I can tell you that they were fighting," King Sombra said, smiling. "We got bored, and I decided to play Dungeons and Dictators. But then that idiot Comet decided to try and spell it, and well, you can see for yourself and guess why we were fighting."

Hope levitated a very torn piece of paper away from Comet's hooves, and began to read what he had written.

When she was done, she said, "Comet, I thought you knew how to spell. But after seeing this, I think you need to go to school and learn how to spell."

"But there aren't any schools around here!" Comet wailed. "His Majesty destroyed them all!"

Hope was about to say something, when King Sombra said, "I know. So why don't you be a good colt and don't spell any bucking thing?"

"Can somepony at least tell me how to spell Dungeons and Dictators?" Comet asked.

"It's spelt like this," Hope began. "D-u-n-g-e-o-n-s a-n-d D-i-c-t-a-t-o-r-s."

"Oh! It's that game!" Comet gave a sigh of relief. "And here I thought that we'd all had to take turns to taste King Sombra's dick or suck it while in a dungeon. Though, I really wouldn't have minded it that was the case."

Everypony stared at Comet. "What?" he asked. "Isn't that what King Sombra would make us do if he was bored? And isn't it every mare and stallion's dream to suck the King's dick?"

King Sombra sighed. "Comet, you're an idiot. Just go back to sleep and come when you've got enough."

The red faced Comet was more than happy to do this. "Okay," he agreed, before skipping out of the room.

There was silence for a while, until Admiral Aerion spoke, "So, what should we all do now?"

"That was enough entertainment for me, so Aerion, you can go have a shower and eat your donuts, and Monoceros, you can... I don't know. Go have a nap."

The two stallions left the room, leaving Hope and Sombra alone.

Hope smiled at  Sombra. "And what should I do?"

"You can... Follow me to my bedroom, love."

Hope blushed as she followed him. Sombra lay on his bed, and motioned for Hope to do the same.

"Hope, I've always had feelings for you. You are such a wonderful mare, full of kindness and love. So, you are now my doctor and my... Um, what's that word again? Secretary? I think so. So you're now my doctor and the pony who will show me everything I need to do."

Hope's face turned from happy to disappointed. "That's all?" she asked. "You haven't got any confessions to make?"

"What kind of confessions? Did you expect me to tell you that it was I who messed up your room when you were sleeping? Or I who hid your favorite breakfast?"

Hope said, "Buck you!" and then left the room to cry, leaving a very confused King Sombra.
> Sleepless in the Crystal Empire
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: Sleepless In The Crystal Empire

Description: Sombra has insomnia and can’t sleep the night before he is supposed to give a very important address to his kingdom.

Episode Number: Five.



King Sombra wakes up and gets out of bed, after which he looks in the mirror and grins at himself.

He does all his morning things, or rather, gets them done for him, and then heads downstairs for some breakfast.

Everything seems to go perfectly. For once, the cooks haven't burnt his breakfast or somehow gotten it made wrong, and to top it off, Aerion, Monoceros and Comet aren't at each others throats for once. Rather, they are busy being....statues?

"Ahh," King Sombra gives a contented sigh as he sips his coffee.

And then he looks back at the trio. "Aerion? Monoceros? Comet?" He waves a hand in front of each of their faces as he speaks their names.

Of course, none of them reply.

"Well, isn't this rather strange?"

"Good Morning, King Sombra," Hope enters with her breakfast and takes a seat at the table.

"Good Morning to you too, Hope."

"I suppose you're wondering why they are statues."

"It was the very question on my mind. Do you have something to do with this?"

"Well, I guess you could say that. Remember how tomorrow you're supposed to give an important address to the Empire tomorrow?"

"Ah, yes, the one about...uh, what was it again?"

"I think it was about safety."

"But I slightly recall it being about how I need more guards to take over the world?"

"No, actually I think it was going to be about how donuts will be banned, and why."

"Or maybe about how I was going to just get rid of all these incompetent fools of guards and do things completely by myself, with no one by my side?"

"So, you won't even let me help you? And I thought I was your best friend... Or something like that." Hope makes a sad face, which Sombra is oblivious to.

"Eh, if I let you help I'll have to share the power with you or something. I want all the power for myself, so I can be the sole ruler! I mean, look at the Two Sisters. They co rule Equestria, and look at how pitifully weak they are."

"But that's because they're sisters! Sisters  never get along with each other, and they probably fight all of the time!"

"I guess that could be. Anyway, did you remember what my speech was going to be about?"

"I had it on the tip of my tongue... And then I forgot it."

"...Damn it. Now how will I prepare my speech when I can't even remember what the fuck it was supposed to be about?!"

"Wait a second. I don't remember what the speech was going to be about, as you literally gave us all such a long speech yesterday while explaining it, but... General Monoceros, Air Chief Comet and Admiral Aerion were there! Perhaps they'll remember!"

"Great idea! But unfortunately, you froze them!"

"I can unfreeze them?"

"For some reason, you sound unsure."

"Well, to be honest, I can't remember if the spell was reversible." Sombra glares daggers at Hope. "What? It was a pretty old spell... I think it was from the time of Discord and that was only....a million years ago."

Sombra facehooves and then looks at his cold coffee and breakfast. "Aarrgh!" He gives a scream of frustration, and levitates the table out of the window, letting it fall onto some guards. He hears their screams. "Eh, the guards weren't anything other than decoration anyways. So nothing is lost... I guess."

He turns to Hope, and his horn glows a dangerous red, causing her to gulp in fear, hoping that she wouldn't be thrown out of the window. "Now, Hope, are you going to reverse the spell or not?"

Hope trembles and then turns to face the trio, letting her horn glow with magic. She closes her eyes and as her aura envelopes the new statues, she murmurs some words that are in a language Sombra thinks is a little familiar to him.

Where did I hear that before?

Hope opens her eyes to see that... Nothing happened.

Sombra becomes angrier and she can't help but cry out, "Please don't throw me out of the window!"

"Then you better fix this bloody problem you caused! You used a spell book, right?" At Hope's fearful nod, he continues, "Then just open the damn thing and find the spell to reverse it!"

"I-I'll go g-get it."

After she dashes upstairs, Sombra paces, muttering curses. He curses Hope, her mother, her ancestors, the guards, Amore, and so on.

"Well?" He asks impatiently as she comes back in. "Where is it?"

She looks down, not wanting to meet his gaze and mumbles something.

"What did you say?"

She mumbles it again.

"For the sake of your life, say it louder!"

"I-I can't find it!" Hope bursts into tears as Sombra's green eyes become red and dilated.

"What. Did. You. Say."

"I don't know... I swear, it was there yesterday... Or wait... I think I returned it. The librarian was very strict..."

"Then why the hell are you crying? Just go to the castle library and get the fucking book back!"

"That's the problem. I didn't get the book from this library..."

"Then where the bloody hell did you get it from?! I swear, it's like I'm trying to get information out of a rock, with the way you're talking!"

"Uh... You remember about the umbrum world?"

"How could I forget it?"

"I got it from the library there."

"Well, go get it back. Shoo!"

"I-"

"You what?!"

"I'm scared..."

"Ugh," Sombra groans and sinks into his chair. "Then how weren't you scared when you went there?"

"Because I had Aerion, Comet and Monoceros tag along with me."

"None of this makes any fucking sense! Well, you know what? I don't care if you're scared. You're going to go there, undo all of this and then you'll never try to help me again!"

"Sombra...please..."

"I need to give the speech tomorrow! Everyone in the Empire was made aware of that! Do you know how much of a fool I'll look like if I go on stage and say nothing!"

"S-"

"No. I'm going to bed. I don't care if it's the middle of the day, you've exhausted me with all this. Go and undo what you've done, or else."

With that he storms off.

Hope cries into her hands. Whatever shall I do...?







Tonight was a very important night in Castle Sombra, for tomorrow, the majestic ruler of the Crystal Empire -and soon the whole world- would be giving a speech.

The one and only King Sombra.

(Seriously, naming his castle after himself? How very narcissistic...)

This speech of his was not just any old speech. It would be one of the most important ones given in history!

"And," continued Radiant Hope, "that is why you need to get a good night's sleep tonight. So that even if none of us can remember the topic of your speech, you'll hopefully be able to come up with something by the morning."

King Sombra groaned and removed his pillow from around his ears. "And how exactly am I supposed to be able to sleep when those hooligans named Monoceros, Aerion and Comet are making so much noise that I can barely think? I swear, it was better when they were frozen."

BAM!

CRASH!

BATTLE CRIES!

BLOODTHIRSTY SCREAMS!

BAM!

CRASH!

She winced. "Well… We're unicorns! We have magic, and we can easily use a spell to block their noise."

"Spells require the caster to be awake when they're in use, Radiant. Unless you'll stay up all night, casting the spell for me?"

"I'd love to!"

" ...That was supposed to be a joke, " Sombra muttered. "But still, we, or more specifically, I, need to teach them a lesson. Stay here and wait for me. "

With that, he took the blankets off and marched out of the room.







Air Chief Comet, Admiral Aerion and General Monoceros were all sitting around the dining table, bickering over who ate the last dessert.

It should be noted that they were completely drunk, or that's what the many empty bottles of wine around them testified to.

"And you threw it across the room!" laughed Monoceros, clapping his hands together.

"Hey! That's not funny! " yelled Aerion, jumping onto the table, scooping a bag of donuts into his hands and holding them close to his chest. "How could you treat my babies like that? Baby, are you okay? " he asked, checking on a donut that had fallen out.

"You three!" yelled King Sombra as he marched into the room. "Behave!"

All that happened was…

BASH!

"Those aren't real!" screeched Comet, ripping the bag in half as he attempted to tug it out of Aerion's grip. "It's just food you idio-"

SMACK!

BAM! BAM! BAM! 

As the donut-parent angrily tried to hit the offender, but missed and ended up hitting Monoceros who retaliated by firing several magical blasts from his horn.

PUNCH!

SCREAMS!

Aerion jumped onto the table and smacked the unicorn on his horn, causing him to screech in pain.

In short, none of them heeded his words.

This infuriated the King, and he grasped them all in his magical hold and teleported to the dungeon, after which he chucked them all into it.

"No more drinks for any of you! " After decreeing that, he slammed the cell door shut and teleported away, leaving them to fall asleep and hopefully not cause any more...trouble.

"Seriously," muttered King Sombra as he began walking back to his bedroom, "those three behave worse than little children."






"Sombra… I can stay here with you to give you even more protection!"

King Sombra sighed as he took part in a seemingly never ending, illogical argument with Radiant Hope. After locking the drunk bastards in their place, he had returned to his bedroom only to find the aforementioned mare making herself comfortable in his bed.

" Radiant, no means no. I do not sleep with anyone near me, and I will never. Out. "

"But-"

"Out!"

The mare frowns and walks out. "T-there's no need to shout…"

Once she's out, he breathes a sigh of relief,  casts a quick cleaning spell on his bed (who knows what she might have put there) and gets into the  bed.

He then tucks himself under the covers, and closes his eyes.

The guards were all positioned around the exterior of his room, holding their spears in preparation  to behead anyone who dared make a sound while the King attempted to sleep…







Despite the guards who had encountered no noise making citizen, despite the soundproof spell that Radiant Hope had placed on his door, so that if anyone had made a sound, he wouldn't hear it, and despite his best efforts to sleep, the King had been tossing and turning throughout the night, unable to sleep as worry began to settle in for the upcoming speech.

"Why am I worrying? I don't need to learn any speech. I'm the King. Whatever I say is all they need to hear. But I can't make myself look like a fool either. Now, what was the speech supposed to be about…? "

No matter how much he tried, he could not recall the speech, and groaned. "Well…" he said slowly , deep in thought. "The speech is tomorrow, on the- Wait, what's the date?"

The King levitates a calendar over and gasps. "The first of April?! Are they trying to make a fool of me?! Well, now I don't need to give a speech at all because that date is simply cursed!"

A grin stretches across the King's face. "I can't sleep, and since I don't need to give a speech, I can teach those fools a lesson so intense that they'll never get drunk again! Not without my permission...that is… "






Aerion, Comet and Monoceros were sleeping peacefully after having thrown up several times. Aerion was dreaming of a land with sentient donuts, and was getting to the best part when the slamming open of the dungeon door woke him up.

King Sombra stood there with a huge, sadistic grin on his face.

Aerion screamed.







The following morning, the citizens of the Crystal Empire gathered in front of Castle Sombra to hear the speech that had been scheduled.

Half an hour passed without the King appearing, and the crowd began to grumble.

"I knew it was a joke…"

"Is His Majesty even coming?"

" Are you sure it was today? "

Radiant Hope sighed and ran back into the Castle. "He probably didn't sleep like I told him to…"

She heard screams coming from the dungeon, and after heading there, saw that Sombra was very much awake.

She would've lectured him on how he shouldn't be inside because there was a crowd outside, but after seeing Aerion hanging from the ceiling with donuts stuffed in his mouth, she decided it was best not to and just left.

I don't want that to happen to me...