After saving Wallflower from an abusive home, Sunset figures the best way to help with her girlfriend's years of trauma is challenging the restrictions she's lived with all her life, like with saying curse words. Turns out, Wally's very good at that.
After saving Wallflower from an abusive home, Sunset figures the best way to help with her girlfriend's years of trauma is challenging the restrictions she's lived with all her life, like with saying curse words.
Turns out, Wally's very good at that.
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Content Warning: While this story has elements of comedy, it also contains realistic discussions/depictions of abuse and PTSD/C-PTSD.
While her girlfriend eagerly took a bite of her pizza, Sunset Shimmer focused intently on her video game. She barely noticed that Wallflower Blush was on her seventh slice of what was supposed to be their "shared" pizza. No matter. She'd already wolfed down her own two pieces before deciding to try to get past this monster again.
As her character was blown to bits by the ancient robot for what felt like the hundredth time in a row, Sunset heaved a deep sigh. Taking a break from her frustration, she looked over to see Wally licking the grease from her fingers. "Good pizza, babe?" she asked with a giggle.
"Mhmm!" Picking up yet another slice, Wallflower added, "I never get to eat this much at home."
Sunset smiled. "Well, glad you like it." With that, she turned back to her game, pushed past the "Game Over" screen, and started the challenge anew.
A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed that Sunset had been at this for over an hour. She'd already been playing when Wallflower arrived for their date night. Given her current progress, it seemed unlikely that her girlfriend would be doing much tonight other than watch her fail over and over again.
"Damn it," Sunset hissed between her teeth.
Wallflower looked up from the pizza box. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Sighing, Sunset pushed past the "Game Over" screen. Again.
Furious button presses and muttered curses soon drowned out the sound of Wallflower noshing on pizza and slurping her soda. Clutching the controller with all her might, Sunset leaned forward on the couch. Eyes locked on her game, she forced her character to dodge to the left, then the right, then parry—
—Or not.
"FUCK!" Sunset shouted at the television, "Why is it called a 'Guardian' if it just fucking kills you over and over?!" When the game threw back its mocking, cursed red "Game Over" message in response, Sunset threw her controller to the floor. "Stupid fucking crawling piece of—"
A nearby clink tore Sunset away from the screen. Beside her, she saw that Wallflower had knocked over her glass, half-full with soda, which was spreading all over the coffee table and dripping on the carpet. "Oh, shit!" Sunset stood up. "Here, babe, let me get you some—"
"Idiot!" Wallflower brought her hands to her head. "Stupid, stupid idiot!" In time with her words, she hit her temples with the flat of her wrist.
Taken aback, Sunset simply fell silent, eyes wide.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Quickly, Wallflower moved everything off the coffee table to the couch, then ran into the kitchen. After returning with a roll of paper towels, she mumbled between glances towards Sunset—none looking her directly in the eye—"I'm such an idiot, sorry, sorry…"
As Wallflower made haste to clean up the mess, Sunset finally shook free of her haze. "Hey, Wally, relax. It's not a big deal," she said with a soft smile. "Everyone makes mistakes. Here, let me help y—"
When Sunset moved to place a hand on Wallflower's shoulder, her girlfriend flinched.
No, not just flinched. Wallflower practically jumped away from her.
Without hesitation, Sunset pulled her hand back. "Whoa. Oops, sorry."
"Sorry," Wallflower said again, still not quite looking at her. "Sorry."
While Wallflower finished cleaning up, Sunset decided to focus on some tidying of her own. Though she hadn't made it past that damned Guardian, the game no longer mattered. She turned it off and put the controller away.
Once Wallflower took her seat on the opposite end of the couch—sitting further away than she had before, Sunset noticed—Sunset decided to break the awkward silence she felt settling between them. Although she kept her hands to herself, she turned to face her. "Hey, did you still want to watch that movie I rented?"
"...Maybe." Wallflower only briefly glanced her direction before looking back down at the floor. Her arms were crossed, as if hugging herself.
"There's some ice cream in the freezer I've been saving for tonight, if you're interested." Sunset offered her a smile.
Peeking up from the floor, Wallflower asked after a moment, "Chocolate chip?"
"Of course!" Sunset beamed. "I know it's your favorite."
Reaching over, Wallflower grabbed Sunset's hand and gave it a squeeze.
Relieved, Sunset squeezed back. She brought their joined hands up to her lips, then kissed the back of Wallflower's palm. "Gimme a bit and I'll set everything up, okay?"
To her greater relief, Wallflower smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Okay," she said as she let Sunset's hand go—and scooted closer on the couch.
Yawning, Sunset turned off the DVD player and TV, then turned to the girl in her arms. "Like the movie?"
Settling in against her, Wallflower sighed into Sunset's cozy shoulder, "Yup."
Sunset laid her head on top of Wallflower's. "Good."
The two sat in silence for some time afterwards, enjoying the quiet and each other's company.
Their ice cream bowls and spoons sat on the coffee table, not one bite left. The movie had met Sunset's expectations, providing a nice ninety minutes of popcorn—well, ice cream in this case—entertainment.
What had exceeded her expectations, however, was how fast Wallflower had seemed to bounce back from the awkwardness of a couple hours prior. Sunset could empathize; Goddess knows how many accidental faux pas she had made when she first started making friends. Thankfully, the others had overlooked these mistakes with nary a thought towards them. In the same vein, Sunset cared far more about how Wallflower was feeling than a little spilled soda.
Now, curled up against Sunset's side, Wallflower seemed to have flowed back right into happy. And Sunset, her eyes growing heavy, was flowing right along with her…
Another yawn. Blinking, Sunset looked up from their cuddle to see it was almost midnight. "Wally?"
"Mmm?" Wallflower murmured, tightening her grip on Sunset's arm.
Sunset rubbed Wallflower's back in slow circles. "It's getting pretty late, sweetie." She placed a kiss to Wallflower's forehead. "I should probably take you home soon."
It could have been Sunset's imagination, but she swore she felt Wallflower stiffen at those words.
"It's Friday night. I don't need to be up early tomorrow or anything," Wallflower said.
"Yeah, but—" a third yawn punctuated Sunset's words— "if I stay up much longer, I'm not going to be able to take you home safely." She playfully poked Wallflower's nose. "Because someone wouldn't let me hear the end of it the last time I rode when I was sleepy."
Instead of the chuckle Sunset expected, Wallflower said, "Well, I could just call a cab."
"I have some money in my purse." Wallflower reached for Sunset's hand. "Why don't we watch another movie or something?"
Lacing her fingers with Wallflower's, Sunset shrugged again. "Eh, that was my only rental, and there's nothing new on streaming."
"We could watch something we've seen before."
"Not really feeling a repeat. Sorry."
This time, Wallflower took a moment to reply. "Okay, then how about I clean up?"
Sunset chuckled. "It's just a couple bowls and spoons, Wally. I'll throw them in the dishwasher in the morning."
As if she hadn't heard Sunset, Wallflower shot back with another suggestion. "Actually... I could clean the kitchen for you, if you like."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Clean my kitchen? Why?"
"Well, it's only fair, right?" Untangling herself from Sunset, Wallflower sat upright. "I mean, you paid for the pizza and the movie. The least I could do is make myself useful."
Brow furrowing, Sunset repeated, "'Useful'?" She blinked away the sleepiness from her eyes and mirrored Wallflower's posture. "Wally, you don't need to make yourself 'useful' to me. You don't need to clean my kitchen, or my apartment, just because I paid for tonight. I wanted to do that." She smiled. "And it's been a great night. But it's getting late, so, we should—"
"Then let's go for a drive!"
"A… drive?" Sunset couldn't help but sound skeptical. With a shake of her head, she said, "Wally, no. I—I'm not even confident that I'll be able to get you home and back without stopping for an energy drink or something. I've been up since six because Rainbow Dash needed some extra tutoring for her Math 92 final, and I have an early shift at the mall tomorrow, so—"
In the blink of an eye, Wallflower grabbed both of Sunset's hands. "Th-then can we just—um…" She trailed off before managing to find her words again. "Maybe just… hang out for a while?
"Please?"
That final word cut through Sunset's haze. Though her mind was still putting the pieces together, the urgency in her girlfriend's voice—almost sounding like she was begging to stay—convinced Sunset in no uncertain terms that something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
"Wally… What's going on at home?"
"Huh?" Wallflower sat up even more, her back ramrod straight against the couch. "I-it's not that I don't want to go home. It's just…" She squeezed Sunset's hands again… too tight. "I just want to spend some more time with you."
Wallflower's words seemed deliberate. Almost rehearsed.
"Wally." Looking her straight in the eye, Sunset spoke in a firm, yet gentle tone. "C'mon. That's not it."
"It is!" Wide-eyed, Wallflower insisted, "It is, Sunset! We've both been so busy with fall term, and your new job, and—"
"Wally." Not backing down, Sunset said in an even keel, "Please tell me what's going on."
For a moment, Wallflower did not respond. She withdrew her hands from Sunset's, drawing them back up to her shoulders. The silence lingered between them, broken only by Wallflower fidgeting and the slow ticking of the clock as the minutes inched past midnight.
Sunset tried not to draw too many conclusions on her own; doing so had not served her well in the past. However, it was unavoidable tonight. The suspicions that she had swallowed sprang to mind while she awaited Wallflower's answer.
Finally, when it came, Sunset was surprised by the simplicity of it.
"Things haven't been… great at home lately." Wallflower picked at one of her sweater sleeves. "Mom lost her job a while ago, and she's been in a… pretty bad mood, I guess."
"In a bad mood… How?"
Wringing her hands, Wallflower took another long minute to answer. "Well, she's just been stressed lately. She hasn't been like this since dad left," she said, plainly not answering Sunset's question.
"I'm sorry, Wally."
"Don't be." Wallflower's words rang bitter. "I barely even remember him."
Sunset winced.
"Anyway…" Wallflower shrugged. "Things have just been… tense… and I… I haven't been helping out around the house as much as I should." She sighed. "It's just stuff like that. Not really a big deal."
Sunset sighed in turn. "Wally—"
"I don't—" Wallflower shook her head. "I-it's nothing. Forget I said anything."
"Wally…"
Wallflower drew her knees up to her chest. "Sorry," she mumbled, her voice muffled by her torn, baggy jeans. "I didn't mean to ruin the night. Sorry."
Though she didn't touch her, as not to startle her, Sunset moved closer to her. "Hey." Leaning down a bit, she said, "You didn't ruin anything, Wallflower. Okay? I know it might feel that way, but you didn't."
Instead of replying, Wallflower stuck out one of her hands. Sunset took it before continuing on.
"If something's upsetting you… I want you to be honest with me about it. Okay?" Sunset stroked her girlfriend's palm. "Even if it's something that might make me upset. And if your mom is doing something to make you feel unsafe at home, I want to know about it." She paused. "Actually, no, I need to know about it."
"'Unsafe?'" Wallflower scoffed. At last, she looked up to meet Sunset's steadfast gaze. "C'mon, Sunset, don't be dramatic. Unsafe." An eyeroll. "It's stressful, yeah, but 'unsafe'? That's taking it too far."
"Is it?" Losing none of her resolve, Sunset willed herself to remain calm in spite of what she dreaded would follow. "Why don't you tell me exactly what she's said that's so stressful, Wally? Or done?"
Although she had crumpled earlier, Wallflower now seemed just as determined as Sunset. "Y'know, usual stressed parent stuff. Wanting more chores done, yelling when they're not, upset that she's lost her job, drinking more—"
"Drinking?"
As if knowing she'd said something wrong, Wallflower added at once, "Wine. Just wine."
"Every day?" Sunset asked. "Every night?"
"What does it matter?"
"Because that's alcoholism, Wallflower. Being around an alcoholic is unsafe enough, and—"
"There you go with the 'unsafe,' again!" Wallflower spat, now fully staring back at her. "What do you want me to say, Sunset? That she hit me?"
"Did she?"
"Yeah, but only because I—"
Wallflower threw her hands over her mouth.
Red-hot fury flashed in Sunset's eyes… right before her heart sank.
She hated being right.
"Wallflower… This isn't okay." Righteous anger coursing through her veins, Sunset utilized every aspect of her self-control to keep her voice steady. Calm. Clear. "This isn't normal. Being hit by someone, for any reason, is not okay, much less by your own mother. Being afraid to be in your own home isn't normal. Having to deal with someone in your own home drinking all day and yelling at you, hitting you, hurting you, isn't normal."
Wallflower stared down at the carpet. "It's normal for me."
For the first time that night, Sunset Shimmer had nothing to say.
She was still holding Wallflower's hand.
"I…" Sunset took a deep breath. "I'm not letting you go back there tonight."
What followed was one of the longest nights, and conversations, of Sunset's life. That morning, she woke up early, prepared her speech, and waited for Wallflower to rise in turn.
After what she had learned, there was no way in Tartarus that she was going to let her girlfriend go home to that… especially when her cozy apartment had room and space and safety awaiting her. Regardless of how everything worked out—or not—Sunset was not going to let someone she loved and cared for be abused.
Once Wallflower woke up, Sunset made them a simple breakfast. They ate mostly in silence, tension hanging between bites of pancakes and syrup. After the dishes were cleared and both were somewhat alert, she told her:
"If you don't want to go home today, either… you can stay here. For good."
"Stubborn" was certainly an adjective that suited Sunset Shimmer well. With those words, she dug her heels in, knowing full well that this wasn't going to be a simple talk.
All of Wallflower's objections boiled down to the same fear: What her mother would say or do to her if she dared to try and break free of her. Every hesitation seemed to be rooted in the reality of what that woman—Sunset loathed to even think of such a person as a mother—had done in the past and showed no remorse of doing again.
As the minutes turned to hours, round and round they went; Wallflower desperately wanting to accept the rope she'd been tossed across the chasm, Sunset doing whatever she could to make her throws closer. Planning morphed from hypothetical into real when Sunset said, meaning every syllable of it:
"You don't have to deal with her alone anymore."
Those were words Sunset knew that Wallflower had long given up on ever hearing.
And here it was, simultaneously real and not.
The rest of that morning was logistics and contingencies and backup plans. Everything from how to get Wallflower's legal documents if her mother refused to give them up, to which friends Wallflower was okay with asking for help if needed, was discussed.
Between everything was more than a few tears. Not just from one direction.
"Alright. You ready?"
Wallflower squeezed Sunset's hand so hard, she thought she was trying to break it.
The thing with being a gray rock, however, was that it could easily be used as a weapon, too.
Once she was sure her mask was in place, Sunset took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
The house was surprisingly well-kept for being a dragon's lair. At least on the outside. Whatever awaited within, Sunset knew was ugly.
While the seconds passed, Wallflower kept her tight grip on Sunset's hand. She could hear her girlfriend's heart beating from here. Her own wasn't exactly steady, either.
Adrenaline had a tendency to do that. Sunset just needed to channel it properly now.
Finally, the sound of heavy footsteps approaching the door made them both tense. Immediately, Wallflower let go of Sunset's hand. Such disconnection was part of the deception necessary to enact their plan. Still, it stung, and only added to the tension winding in Sunset's chest.
One last time, Sunset mentally rehearsed the story they'd concocted. Sunset needed a new roommate; Wallflower just got a job at the same mall Sunset worked at. They'd commute together to school and work. It would save both of them money and time. It would be a great opportunity for Wallflower. It would get her out of the rut she was in, which was, in no way, shape, or form, at all to be blamed on the person who had systematically torn her down from early childhood on, oh no, it was just this big happy coincidence, you see, and Sunset was such a good friend, how lucky Wallflower was to have a friend like her, and oh ma'am you have such a lovely home, wow I really like that vase, oh this dinner is so delicious, oh you are so funny, let me tell you this story about—
"Hi there, can I help you?"
Sunset flinched.
What had opened the door was both what she did, and did not, expect.
She didn't walk in with a cigarette hanging from her lips, or wearing a wine-stained wifebeater soaked with rank body odor. That wasn't to say she was pleasant to look at. Between the telltale red-face of an alcoholic—especially the bright-red cherry of her bulbous nose—and the clothes that, while clean, certainly didn't fit her bloated figure, Sunset was shocked that she had the nerve to call Wallflower ugly or fat… much less do so repeatedly.
But the paper-thin smile, the lilt in the voice that was obviously put-on, the air of friendliness that seemed far too reminiscent of forced customer service gestures and haughty Canterlot nobles… All that was something Sunset could sniff out a mile away, like something rotten wrapped in the finest threads and smoothest silk.
Both inside and out, this woman was utterly repulsive. It would take every minutia of Sunset's mask and willpower not to let that show.
"Oh, and you brought Flower, too."
That lilting voice oozed some of its disdain.
Sunset's hackles raised.
"H-hi, mom. This is my friend, Sunset."
In a similar vein, Sunset heard the camouflage in Wallflower's voice. Unlike her own, it was not utilized as an advantage. Wallflower's was a function of survival.
"Oh, Flower has a friend?"
Though the woman smiled, Wallflower flinched at the word Flower. Sunset took heed, adding this to a long list of reasons she would rather not share the same oxygen as the slime smiling before her.
Ignoring Wallflower's obvious discomfort, her mother continued on, putting a hand to her chest. "That's just so wonderful. Nice to meet you, Sunset."
Sunset mustered up her mask and became the gray rock she needed to be. "Hi, nice to meet you."
She stuck out her hand. The woman shook it. Every moment of it was nauseating.
The inside of the house was as well-maintained as the outside. Rather than a pile of bottles, peeling wallpaper, and the scent of mold and decay that Sunset expected, the space was decently clean and clear. A pile of bills on a table near the door, as well as a calendar still turned to last month on the wall beside it, confirmed that its occupant had recently lost track of both finances and time.
"Make yourself at home!" she said, to Sunset only. She gestured towards the living room. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Just water, please," Sunset said.
She nodded and scurried away into the kitchen. Sunset could see an assortment of wines arranged on a kitchen counter… and harder liquors atop the fridge.
Unacknowledged, Wallflower followed behind her. The two sat on the living room couch. Neither dared reach for the other's hand. Too risky.
Sunset wanted to anyway. Instead, she went over the details again in her head, and made sure she seemed sufficiently content sitting here.
The slime oozed back into the living room, carrying two glasses of water. She sat one down in front of Sunset. The other remained firm in the woman's grasp. Sunset again acknowledged the gesture with a forced smile and nod before busying herself with sipping at the glass.
Sunset didn't need it. By contrast, Wallflower was always thirsty; she had been offered nothing.
"So, how do you know Flower?"
Sunset clenched her jaw. "We were friends in high school."
"Really?" For the first time, the woman looked directly at Wallflower, then she added, "I didn't realize Flower had any friends."
Sunset wanted to deck her.
Wallflower stared at her shoes.
"Wally is my best friend, actually." A bit of Sunset's venom dripped past the gray rock lodged in her throat. In lieu of blowing this entire conspiracy by either comforting her girlfriend or dropping her mask fully, she added, "I don't know where I'd be without her."
"Well…" Looking between the two, the woman's nauseating smile and deceptive eyes focused once again on Sunset. "Isn't that lovely."
Sunset flexed her fingers against the glass. "It sure is."
After taking a long drink—Sunset wondered if it was just water in there, and not vodka or gin or Celestia-knows-what other poison—the woman said, "Well, this has been a pleasant surprise. It's not often I get those with Flower!"
The chuckle that followed made Sunset's blood boil, and it was then that she knew time was running out. If she had to spend any more time with this person than was absolutely necessary, everything would unravel. Even she had her limits.
Especially when it came to the one person she valued enough to do this in the first place.
Beside her, Wallflower was practically curled into herself, hugging her knees and staring at the floor. From the way she didn't object, didn't try to argue, didn't even speak as she was insulted and demeaned with every cutting sentence, Sunset knew that this had been going on for far, far too long. Maybe longer than Wallflower was willing to admit.
Enough games.
Once the grating laughter died down, Sunset sat up straight and looked her directly in the eye. "Anyway, the reason Wally and I are here is because we have something important to tell you."
She took another drink. "Oh?"
Sunset glanced over at Wallflower. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, before Wallflower nodded.
Slowly, weakly, fearfully… but it was still the okay Sunset needed.
No backing down now.
Sunset fought the hammering in her chest and took a breath before continuing. "So, I go to CSU with Wally—" she let her name linger, and be known as it should, for a moment—" and I live off-campus. Recently, my—"
"What are you studying?"
"Human services," Sunset spat. She took another calming breath. "Anyway, my roommate moved out, and I'm needing someone to help with the rent. Since I just got Wally a job at the mall where I work, I was thinking— "
"You got Flower a job?" The gasp, hand on what was supposed to be a heart, and smile that followed was beyond sickening. "Oh, that's wonderful! Thank you, Sunset! Flower has been in such a rut, and I've been telling her that a job is just what she needs to start all over."
Without you, Sunset thought.
Sunset nodded. "Anyway, the job pays pretty well. Even if she just works part-time, it's enough to pay the bills. And since we're commuting to school and work already…" She stole one last moment to settle down before finally letting loose. "I decided to offer Wallflower my spare room."
This time, the face staring at them across the room was blank.
Sunset drowned her anxieties in sips of water and tapping fingers on the glass. Wallflower fought hers in the bravest way Sunset had seen tonight: now, she was looking at her, too.
Finally, she acknowledged Wallflower with, "So you're finally moving out?"
Wallflower opened her mouth to speak—
"It's about time."
—and closed it.
Between asking their friends for help—with Wallflower's permission, alongside minimal detail—and her own preparations, Sunset had a move organized within days. Big Mac brought his pickup truck; Applejack and Rainbow Dash helped carry the heavier items; Pinkie baked cookies for everyone, including the monster Wallflower was leaving behind, in order to make the day as joyful as possible. Fluttershy even brought over some flowerpots and soil to Sunset's apartment as a surprise awaiting the new arrival.
The day of the move was a flurry of activity. Sunset did her best to delegate and ensure things were running smoothly. Wallflower mostly kept to Sunset's side, occasionally letting Dash or Mac know that something was fragile or didn't need to go in the truck. Beyond that, she remained silent, passing the time with videos on her phone and the cookies Pinkie had brought.
Towards the end of the day, Sunset whipped out a checklist she had made with Rarity and Twilight's help and went over it with Wallflower. "Okay, did we get everything you wanted to keep out of your room?"
Wallflower leaned against the doorway to the now-barren space, then said, "Yup."
"Alright." Sunset ticked off a few boxes. "Do you have your ID?"
Wallflower crossed her arms. "Mm-hmm."
"Birth certificate?"
"Uh-huh."
"Social security card?"
Wallflower nodded.
Sunset checked off more boxes. "Okay, what about your yearbooks? Any photo albums? Other important documents?" Sunset looked up from the list with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I know I just asked you three things at once."
Wallflower didn't respond.
At the look on her girlfriend's face, Sunset frowned. "Hey…" After a quick glance to verify that they were alone, she took Wallflower's hand in hers. "What's wrong? Did she say something to you?"
"That's just it…" Tears formed in Wallflower's eyes. "She didn't say anything at all."
"What do you mean?"
"I-I guess, just…" Wallflower's voice was scarcely a whisper. "I always hoped that beneath all the things she said and did to me my whole life, she really did care about me. Maybe that was stupid…"
Sunset squeezed her hand. "It's not stupid to want your own mother to love you," she said gently.
"But she doesn't love me, Sunset," Wallflower whimpered. "Maybe she never did. She… she really does just want me gone."
The Monday morning following the move, Sunset Shimmer woke to find Wallflower Blush was already out of bed. This discovery was a relief at first.
After everything had been moved in, Wallflower had spent the remainder of the weekend lying on the couch or in bed. Sometimes there were tears; sometimes there weren't. Through it all, Wallflower had hardly moved or spoken or done anything. It was only at Sunset's insistence that she had eaten or drank—barely—or slept. Or tried to.
Now, with the sun rising over the horizon, Sunset changed out of her pajamas upstairs. Once she was ready to face both the day and her girlfriend, she made her way downstairs, careful to dodge the creakier floorboards.
As she reached the living room, she saw Wallflower sitting on the couch, her back to Sunset. The TV was on, though Sunset couldn't recognize what was playing. In any case, she greeted her with a smile. "Good morning, Wally."
"...Hi," came the reply, quiet and stiff as Wallflower herself. She hadn't turned from the TV.
Sunset took a seat beside her on the couch. "Anything good on?"
Wallflower shrugged.
"Everything okay?" Sunset asked gently.
"I don't know," Wallflower mumbled, sighing.
"What's wrong?"
"Just…" Squeezing her eyes shut, Wallflower visibly struggled not to cry. "She just wanted me gone."
Sunset started to reply, but thought better of it. Thankfully, Wallflower continued on before she could interject anyway.
"She probably wouldn't even care how it happened, so long as she didn't have to put up with me anymore." Wallflower fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. "She probably thought, 'Good riddance,' when you told her I was moving out. She couldn't care less." Each word seemed as painful as it was true.
"I'm so sorry, Wally." Sunset let her hand rest beside Wallflower's, but didn't press further. "What can I do to help you right now?"
"I don't know." Wallflower looked away. "Sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry for that," Sunset said.
"But I never know," Wallflower sighed. "I hate never being able to give you an answer."
"I know." Sunset paused, searching for the right words. While she didn't want to force Wallflower to do anything in a vain attempt to try and feel better—school was definitely off the table for both of them today, at least until Wally was able to get off the couch of her own volition—she also didn't want to leave her feeling useless… or bad about feeling useless.
"Okay," Sunset began after some time, "how about we start working on getting you a therapy appointment? Do you think that would help?"
"We've talked about this, Sunset. I can't afford that and I'm not about to let you pay for it."
"Well, I was doing some research on the school's website this weekend, and it turns out there is a free counseling program for students." Sunset offered her a small smile. "There might be a bit of a wait, but we could get that going for you today."
"...Maybe," Wallflower replied after a moment. "I don't think I can talk to anyone else right now though."
"That's okay. I can make the call for you, if you're alright with that."
"Okay. Sure, I guess." Slowly, Wallflower looked back at Sunset, who responded with a nod. "Thank you," she added, finally brushing her hand against Sunset's.
Lacing her fingers with Wallflower's, Sunset said, "Of course. I'll call them after I get us some breakfast, if that's okay."
"...And just what the heck is an imaginary number, anyway?" Rainbow Dash threw her arms in the air. "How was I supposed to know they just decided to, like, keep making up numbers? Isn't math already hard enough?"
"Uh-huh."
"And don't get me started on the quad-pathetic formula or whatever it's supposed to be!"
"Yeah."
Crossing her arms, Dash rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I swear that adding the freakin' alphabet to math was the lamest thing ever. How am I supposed to keep up with that?"
Muttering another noncommittal reply, Sunset stared at the same line of the math textbook she had read several times over. The words seemed to blur and jumble before her tired eyes. Her mind filtered out the Math 92 textbook just as it did Rainbow Dash's latest rant. Although the two were supposed to be studying again today, the scene was more of lecturer and lecturee than friends working together.
A rolled-up wad of paper smacked Sunset on the forehead. "Hey! What was that for?!"
"Uh, hell-o?!" Dash facepalmed. "You're supposed to be helping me learn this extra credit stuff so that I can actually pass this class and move on with my life!"
Sunset rubbed at her forehead, glaring at Dash. "Well, I'm sorry you decided to stay up all night playing video games before your final instead of going over the material like I told you to!"
"Who are you, my mom?"
"No," Sunset snapped, "thank Goddess."
"Pffffft, puh-lease!" Dismissing her with a wave of her hand, Dash kicked her dirty soccer cleats up on the table—which had been the nicest and cleanest in the library. "You would be lucky to be my mom, and we both know it."
Sunset buried her face in the textbook, groaning. "I don't have time for this shit right now, Dash!" With an exasperated sigh, she looked up at her through narrowed eyes. "If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm going home!"
"If I'm not going to take this seriously?" Dash scoffed. "You were twenty minutes late, forgot to bring your notes, and barely paid attention to a word I've said!" She matched Sunset's glare with one of her own. "If you don't want to help me, don't waste my time either, Sunset! I might not have gotten the 'A' you were hoping for—"
Sunset rolled her eyes at that.
"—But I was close enough that the prof is willing to let me squeak by if I can finish this crap!" She gestured to the stack of extra credit assignments beside her, almost knocking them over.
Once the dust cleared, Dash heaved a sigh, shaking her head. "Sorry, I'm just… Really worried about this." She drummed her fingers on the table. "I need to maintain a 3.0 GPA to stay on the team, and this is the last thing standing in my way."
"...You're right." Sighing in turn, Sunset closed the textbook. "I'm sorry, Dash. I really do want to help you. It's just…"
When Sunset fell silent, Dash filled in the blanks. "Wallflower's not doing too hot, huh?"
Unsure of just how much she should confide in her friends about this, Sunset struggled to find a reply. To her surprise, Dash didn't press further, waiting patiently while Sunset thought it over.
"She's just… having a hard time with everything," Sunset settled on saying. "Getting her out of there was the first step, but it wasn't a cure-all."
"Well, what's left? Did we forget something?" Dash's eyes flashed red for a second. "Is her mom bothering her?"
"No… and that's the problem. Her mom hasn't said anything since we told her Wally was moving out. Nothing at all."
"Wasn't that what Wallflower wanted?" Dash asked. "How's that a problem?"
"Think about it, Dash. Even if your parents were total jerks—"
"Saying her mom was a jerk is putting it lightly."
"Okay, even if your parents were awful people," Sunset corrected, "if you moved out and they literally had nothing to say—no goodbyes, no 'I'll miss you,' just… nothing at all, wouldn't that make you feel crappy?"
It took a moment, but Dash, her eyes widening, mumbled, "Oh."
"Exactly. And it's got Wally really, really down, and… I… I-I don't know what to do." Willing herself to keep it together, Sunset took a long, slow breath. "I tried getting her into counseling at the student health center, but the soonest appointment is a month out. That's not enough." Sunset stared down at the table. "My girlfriend is miserable and I can't do anything to fix it."
"Hey... C'mon." Reaching across the table, Dash patted her on the shoulder. "You've done a lot already. You got her out of there, Sunset. You gave her a safe place—a home. That's huge." Dash offered her an encouraging smile. "And you've got an appointment set up and everything already. That's really awesome of you."
"...You're right," Sunset admitted, "but… I just wish I could do more."
Seated across from Sunset, Rainbow Dash's brows knit together and furrowed. The pensive look on her face rivaled that of any Sunset had seen when the math textbook was open.
"Okay… Here's what you do." Dash cleared her throat. "You said you got a month until she sees this therapist or whatever, right?" When Sunset nodded, Dash continued, "Until then, just try and get her to have some fun. Take her to a movie, get ice cream at midnight, whatever. Maybe do some fun things with her that she's always wanted to do, but was never allowed to."
As much as Sunset loved all of her friends, she had never known Rainbow Dash to be a particularly consistent dispenser of good advice. However, as she mulled over her suggestion, a hopeful smile slowly replaced her frown.
"Yeah… You're right. That's what I should do." Meeting her gaze, Sunset added, "Thanks, Dash. Sorry I wasn't the best tutor today."
Dash dismissed her with a wave. "Eh, don't worry about it. I was too pissed off to get much studying done anyhow. Let's pick it up tomorrow, yeah?"
"Sure, but I got work at five, so it'll have to be a short session."
"That's fine."
With that, they began gathering their bags. As they headed for the door, Dash poked Sunset in the shoulder. "Oh, and one more thing…"
"Yeah?"
Dash grinned. "Definitely do the ice cream at midnight thing at least once."
When Sunset returned home, she saw that, while Wallflower's demeanor had remained the same, she had at least moved from the couch to the bed. Cuddling with her girlfriend may not have been the remedy to the dark thoughts swirling in her mind, but it helped. Just a little.
"You're warm," Wallflower whispered, snuggled up against Sunset's side.
"Mmm, you too." Sunset tightened her grip around Wallflower's waist, who hummed in approval.
Though the room was dark, the moon held back by the blackout curtains on Sunset's window, she could see the hint of a smile that followed. Sunset smiled in turn. While she wasn't going to sleep on the idea she had in the forefront of her mind, she didn't need to bring it up just yet.
For some time, the two let the silence speak, relishing the closeness and comfort between them. The only sound was the occasional passing car on Sunset's street. Other than that, all she could hear was Wallflower's breathing as it slowed from its stressed, anxious rhythm to a calm rise and fall. When her own soon started to match it, she realized it was time.
"Hey, Wally?"
"Mhm?"
After a brief pause, Sunset asked, "What weren't you allowed to do when you were living with your mom?"
Wallflower shifted. "It'd be easier to list what I was allowed to do."
Sunset flinched. "Ah…"
"Sorry. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear."
"No, no, it's okay." Sunset drew Wallflower in closer, letting her rest against the crook of her neck. "More what I meant was… Was there ever anything that you wanted to do that she didn't let you do?"
"Like what?"
"I dunno… Stay out late, eat cookies for breakfast, that kind of thing?"
Sunset felt Wallflower let out a long, slow, warm breath against her neck before answering. "Curfew was six-thirty, always, even when I was still in high school. Assuming Mom hadn't blacked out before I got home. I wasn't allowed to keep my phone in my room, and she would read through my text messages every once in a while."
Sunset's brow furrowed.
"I've never had coffee or caffeinated soda. No caffeine at all, ever. Obviously no smoking or drinking—even though I wouldn't want to. Gross. And even though she was polishing off a handle every week by the end. No loud music. No friends over… though that was never a problem anyway," she added with a bitter sigh.
Sunset cringed.
"No plants in the house, because one time I got some dirt on the carpet. No pets. I found a stray kitten and brought it home when I was a little girl, and she made me give it away. No visiting my dad… but I don't think he even lives in this state anymore. I don't know."
Maybe this hadn't been the best idea. Sunset was about to interrupt, but Wallflower continued on. Hopefully this would at least be cathartic for her.
"No skipping school, no TV that wasn't mom-approved, no R-rated movies. And absolutely no boys allowed. Never ever. Not that I ever wanted to. Yuck." Even in the darkness, Sunset could see Wallflower gag.
With a slight giggle, Sunset said, "Girls are way better anyway."
"Oh, and no swearing either." Wallflower tensed in Sunset's arms. "The first time she hit me was when I broke that rule."
Sunset hugged her close. "That's awful, Wally."
Wallflower shrugged. "I guess so. Anyway, does that—" a yawn punctuated her dismissal— "answer your question?"
Although the obvious answer was yes, Sunset thought it over before responding. Dash had suggested doing fun things with Wallflower until the day of the appointment; Sunset had asked Wallflower this question tonight thinking the answers would be easy distractions to tackle.
Before the silence stretched for too long, Sunset ran through what Wallflower had told her as quickly as her sleep-addled mind could. Caffeinated soda, a lack of a curfew, and as much TV as Wallflower wanted were too easy. A new pet might seem like a nice gesture, but extra responsibilities were the last thing Wallflower needed right now. There must be something…
"Sunset?"
"Sorry, was just thinking about something." Turning to face her, Sunset finally replied, "Yes, Wally, that does answer it. And now I have a question for you."
"What's that?"
"Would you be willing…" Sunset paused to yawn in turn, then finished, "To try saying a swear word?"
Immediately, Wallflower tensed again. "I-I don't think I want to do that. Why would I want to do that?" she asked, instantly sounding on edge.
"It's just an idea. You don't have to." Sunset's first priority was to diffuse the tension that had sprang within a second at the mere thought of breaking a "rule". However, she wasn't just going to let it go completely. "But—"
"But what?" Wallflower snapped. "How's that supposed to help me?"
Thinking over what little understanding she had, Sunset sought to approach this from the angle of chipping away, pebble by pebble, at the impenetrable rock walls that had been forced around Wallflower for as long as she could remember. Doing so would not unravel the wicked, twisted, tangled thread of traumas and pains and injustices she had suffered, nor "cure" the resultant PTSD that she was certain it had caused.
But it was a start, and if there was anything that Wallflower Blush deserved, it was a start. A fresh one, a new one, on her own terms.
"...Hear me out." Sunset took Wallflower's hand in her own. "You've been controlled by this one person your entire life. And now you're not. But there's a difference between knowing that and feeling it, right? And I don't want you to feel like she can hurt you anymore." Sunset took a breath. "Because she can't. Never again."
Through the darkness, Sunset could see her words sink in. Several times, Wallflower seemed like she was going to say something, only to decide against it. A while passed before she finally spoke up, her words barely above a whisper:
"...I'll think about it."
With a small smile, Sunset squeezed her hand and rested her head atop her girlfriend's. "Okay."
Soon, the silence resumed. This time, it didn't seem quite as loud.
The next day, Wallflower was feeling okay enough to go back to campus. Although Sunset took it as a good sign, she knew better than to assume that meant that everything was fine now. Still, she enjoyed commuting to campus together, as well as their shared lunch break and little string of text messages between classes.
After school, Sunset knocked out a quick study session with Rainbow Dash—who did more listening than complaining this time—and a short work shift at the mall. By the time she got home, it was almost nine o'clock.
When Sunset opened their front door to find Wallflower sitting on the couch, a box of pizza and a few cans of soda arranged in front of her, Sunset beamed.
"Oooh, good choice," Sunset remarked, eying the logo on the box. She took her seat beside Wallflower and pulled out a generous slice.
"I know it was my turn to make dinner, but… I wasn't really feeling it," Wallflower admitted, looking sheepish.
"Hey, no need to be sorry." Sunset kissed her on the cheek, then handed Wallflower a slice of her own. "We both had a long day, so let's just have some pizza and watch something fun. Does that sound good to you?"
A small smile replaced Wallflower's frown. "Okay, sure. You pick this time."
Together, the two worked their way through the pizza and Sunset's choice of TV show. It was horribly cheesy, sometimes rivaling the pizza at moments, but it was the kind of light, goofy fun that both of them needed after a long day.
Once the pizza had been devoured and the sodas downed, Sunset stretched out on the couch, kicking her boots off. Without a word, Wallflower curled up against Sunset, her back to her girlfriend's chest, and did the same. The couple sat that way, Sunset's arms around Wallflower, Wallflower's fingers entwined with hers, long after the TV screen went black and the last bits of cheese in the box grew cold.
"So how was class today?" Sunset asked, breaking the silence, but not their cuddle.
"It was okay."
Sunset thought she heard a bit of anxiety in Wallflower's voice. "Do you have a lot of make-up work to do since you missed yesterday?"
Maybe it was her imagination, but Sunset still thought Wallflower sounded a bit off. "Did any of your professors give you a hard time about being absent?"
Wallflower shook her head.
"Well… that's good." Puzzled, Sunset decided to shrug it off. Nothing else immediately came to mind as to what could be wrong. Perhaps she really was just imagining it.
Minutes ticked by as they laid there on the couch, Sunset enjoying the warmth and calm, Wallflower appearing to do the same. Though it was barely past ten, Sunset was already feeling a little tired. If they laid like this for much longer, she might fall asleep holding her like this…
"...Mmmrf…"
Sunset opened her eyes. "Did you say something, babe?"
Wallflower didn't answer.
Sunset sat up a bit. "Hon?"
"...I want to," Wallflower said.
"Want to what?"
"Say something."
This time, Sunset adjusted her position so she could look down at Wallflower. "Say what, hon? Is something wrong?"
Wallflower released Sunset's hands, fidgeting with her own instead. "I—I've been thinking about what you said last night."
"Oh… The swearing thing?"
Wallflower nodded.
"Oh. Okay." Sunset asked in an even tone, "Do you want to try saying it now?"
Again, Wallflower nodded. She didn't say anything else.
"Alright, well…" Sunset reached for Wallflower's hands. Then, she gently laced their fingers back together. "I'm here if there's anything I can do to help you with this. I know it won't be easy, so take your time."
"Should I just…" Wallflower trailed off. "Should I just say it?"
"If you want."
Sunset could see Wallflower visibly struggle with her simple answer. Rather than give another suggestion, she waited for her to say what was paining her.
"I don't know how to do this," Wallflower said at last. "I know that sounds really stupid, but… I just don't know how to do this." She untangled their hands so she could hug herself somewhat. "It's just… really uncomfortable to think about saying it."
"It's just the two of us here right now." Choosing her words carefully, Sunset tried her best to be soothing. "No one else even needs know about it."
A slow sigh later, Wallflower gave a short nod, and Sunset watched as a grimace spread across her girlfriend's face. Wallflower's eyes closed, her breaths growing heavier and sharper as mounting strain and focus etched themselves into her expression… only for it to come crashing down moments later.
"I-I can't." Wallflower spoke softly, as if to herself. "I can't. I can't do this, Sunset, I..." She pounded her arms against the couch in a huff. "I don't know! This should be s-so easy and I still can't do it and it just makes me feel so stupid—!"
"Wally, Wally, hey…" Sunset pulled her into a hug, fingers running through her hair. "Be fair to yourself, okay? Of course this isn't easy. The last time you did this, someone hurt you, and it's scary. I know it feels scary."
Wallflower hugged Sunset back, face buried in her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whimpered.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Sunset assured her. "And if you don't want to do this, that's—"
"But I do!" Wallflower's voice cracked. "I do want to, it's just… It's like you said. It scares me…"
"I know," Sunset said. "I get why you're scared. I really do. If I'd lived through the things your mom said and did to you, I'd be scared too. But she's not here, Wally."
Sunset settled her hands on Wallflower's shoulders, sharing every ounce of steely determination she could.
"She can't hurt you anymore, and you can say whatever the fuck you want."
With those words echoing in her ears, Sunset let Wallflower go. Whether or not she was going to do this—now or ever—Sunset was steadfast in her desire to be there for her. The time for advice and encouragement had passed. Now, it was Wallflower's decision.
Gradually, Wallflower moved her gaze from the floor to Sunset's. She reached for Sunset's hands, then held them tight. After locking eyes with Sunset, Wallflower closed hers. She took a deep breath.
"Ffffffffff…"
When Wallflower stopped, Sunset just smiled and rubbed her fingers over Wallflower's palms.
Without a word, Wallflower took another breath, then closed her eyes again. "Ffffffffffffffffffffff…"
Now she was squeezing Sunset's hands. Her surprisingly strong grip was turning both their knuckles white.
Wallflower held the note for a few seconds longer, then opened her eyes. Her chest heaved with distressed, staccato breath. Sunset was about to say something when Wallflower, her eyes open, her hands shaking, finally said:
"Fuck."
In an instant, Wallflower's eyes lit up, a bright smile crossed her face, and Sunset could see the weight lift from her shoulders.
"Fuck," Wallflower said again.
Sunset grinned from ear to ear.
"Fuck!" Wallflower exclaimed.
In spite of herself, Sunset started to giggle. As Wallflower continued, saying the word louder and louder, to the point that she was almost shouting, giggles morphed into full-blown belly laughs. Sure enough, Wallflower was also laughing between expletives, and the two eventually collapsed into a heap of giggles and tangled hands on the couch.
Once their laughter died down—and they remembered to breathe—Sunset asked, "Do you feel better?"
And Wallflower, smiling more than Sunset had seen in days, answered, "I sure fucking do."
"I can't believe this is even legal!" Wallflower exclaimed as she took a bite of her ice cream. "It's fucking midnight on a fucking Tuesday and I'm eating chocolate chip ice cream! Holy shit!"
Between giggles, Sunset pointed out, "And it's not just any ice cream, but the best in town!"
Balancing her enormous dish of her favorite ice cream in one hand, Wallflower pointed up at the shop's neon marquee. "This place is fucking delicious and I love it!"
"Then we'll have to come here more often," Sunset said.
By this point, Sunset was smiling so wide that it hurt. She had been doing that often lately. Ever since Wallflower finally pushed past one of the rules that had been forced upon her—and not just broken it, but spat in its ugly, bloated face—the difference was like night and day. Before, getting Wallflower to do anything in public was a task in and of itself. Now, she was so animated, so full of life, wanting to get out and do all the things she'd missed out on over those horrible years.
"Yes. Very yes." With one last, enormous bite, Wallflower added, "I want to eat this ice cream every fucking day of my goddamned life!"
The look on her girlfriend's face when she said that, curse words and all, made Sunset vow to make that as possible as she could. Bank accounts and healthy eating guidelines be damned. Rather than saying that out loud, she just laughed again, taking Wallflower's hand in her own as they walked through the streets.
They were almost to the apartment complex when Wallflower spotted something else: A 24-hour diner advertising the best pies in Canterlot. Sunset thought of someone who might take issue with that title, though she would willingly volunteer for a taste test.
"Ooh! Oooh!" Tugging on Sunset's sleeve, Wallflower pointed at the diner. "Sunset! Look! Pies!"
Chuckling, Sunset asked, "Would you like some pie to go with your ice cream, babe?"
"Some pie?!" Her eyes growing wide, Wallflower declared, "Sunset Shimmer, I want to stuff my face with so much pie that I have to flop on the ground like a fucking beached whale for two entire fucking days! Do you understand me?!"
Sunset raised a hand. "Okay, hold on a sec, Wally. Don't eat so much that you actually get sick."
"Are you kidding me?" Wallflower grabbed Sunset's hand and pulled them into the diner. "Health is my passion."
An entire pie and another serving of ice cream later, and the couple finally headed home for the night. On the way home, only once did Sunset confuse Wallflower's screams of joy for an ambulance siren.
"...I knew I wasn't the only one who liked to say bad words!" Wallflower shouted. "I feel so fucking valid right now!"
Beside them, some of the other nearby moviegoers leaving the theater raised eyebrows and shook their heads. Sunset paid them no mind. Instead, she focused on Wallflower, who was currently rattling off a litany of curses she'd heard in the movie. The aforementioned movie was some raunchy comedy Sunset had barely paid attention to—Rainbow Dash had forced her and the others to watch a dozen movies exactly like this one—but if this was the effect it had on her girlfriend, they were going to have to patronize them all.
"Who knew you could combine so many other words with shit?" Wallflower mused. "Shithead, shitstain, shitfaced, shiteater…" Her brilliant copper eyes lit up with wonder. "Oooh, I'll have to remember that one!"
Sunset giggled. "It is a good one!"
"Fuck yeah it is!"
Once their laughter died down, Sunset started them back towards the apartment. "So, what did you think of the first entry on Movie Day?"
Humming thoughtfully, Wallflower answered after a few moments, "Honestly, it was kinda shitty. But it was really fucking funny, too!" She squeezed Sunset's hand. "I haven't been to a movie theater since I was nine, so even just being in the theater was really bitchin'!"
Smirking, Sunset replied, "No judgment here, hon."
"Better not be!" Wallflower mock-warned, giving Sunset the evil eye. It lasted for all of two seconds before both broke out into giggles.
The pair made their way home, the journey interwoven with expletive-laden rants—and raves—from Wallflower. While some may have found it tiresome, Sunset absolutely adored the way such a simple act had given Wallflower so much confidence. Prior to this, she never raised her voice in public. Even when it was just her and Sunset, Wallflower was mostly mumbles and whispers.
When they reached home, Sunset got out some leftover pie and ice cream from the freezer while Wallflower selected a movie to stream. Round two of Movie Day was a spy thriller movie that neither had seen. Sunset vaguely recalled hearing that it was good, but didn't know much else about it.
…Including that the movie had a very long, very detailed, very intense lesbian makeout scene. Enough to earn that R rating, in fact.
As the credits rolled, Sunset turned to Wallflower. "So… what did you think? Pretty good, huh?"
Wallflower, who had been holding Sunset's hand extremely tightly for the last forty-five minutes of that movie—the exact time a certain scene had played—slowly turned and stared back at Sunset.
"Uh, Wally?"
Wallflower looked Sunset up and down, but said nothing.
Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Sunset, her cheeks burning, asked with a forced chuckle, "Wh-what? Is something wrong—?"
Wallflower pounced.
One intense makeout session later, Sunset Shimmer stared up at the ceiling, red-faced and panting. Nestled against her side, Wallflower snoozed peacefully, a satisfied smile on her slumbering face. They hadn't even made it upstairs to the bed.
"...Wow," Sunset murmured, still in utter disbelief.
Moving past handholding to kissing had taken the two a matter of months. Not that Sunset minded; she was content to let Wallflower dictate the pace of things. Good things came to those who waited, right? And the kisses they'd shared before tonight had been very, very much worth the wait.
Tonight, however…
Sunset was still catching her breath. Who knew Wallflower was could be so intense? And how ridiculous was it that, in a roundabout way, Sunset had Rainbow Dash and her radical ideas to thank for it?
As she looked down at her sleeping girlfriend, Sunset could only shake her head and smile. "Best. Idea. Ever."
Over the course of the following week, Wallflower grew more comfortable exercising her grasp of her newfound vocabulary. Whether it was extolling the virtues of their new favorite ice cream place or lamenting how much homework the chemistry professor was handing out, Wallflower practiced her lexicon with gusto.
However, it wasn't until a seemingly normal Friday night that Sunset realized how powerful Wallflower truly was becoming.
It was a typical scene in the couple's apartment: Sunset was lost in one of her video games, headset on, eyes locked on the TV screen, while Wallflower cuddled against her on the couch, scrolling through her phone. This time, Sunset had dared to pick up one of her multiplayer titles after a long break from playing.
Within about fifteen minutes of joining a campaign, she remembered why she'd stopped playing these.
"Who invited the girl?!" the staticky voice of some prepubescent moron echoed over the mic. "She fuckin' sucks!"
Though the little twerp was technically correct—she hadn't played this game in forever—Sunset wanted to wipe that smirk off his stupid, clearly-paid-for-with-mommy's-allowance avatar's digital face. "Shut the fuck up and get to their base!" she shouted over his laughter.
Of course, this only fueled the fire. The raucous laughter ensued once more, others on the team joining in. "Why don't you get to the kitchen instead and make me a sandwich, bitch?" the same twerp sniped back—just as he shot Sunset's character down with friendly fire.
"HEY!" Sunset stood up, shaking with rage. "Why don't you shut your stupid little—"
The headset pulled away from her head. "Wha—"
"Listen here, shithead," Wallflower said into the mic, her copper eyes blazing at the TV screen. "Why don't you go to the kitchen and ask your mommy if she really loves you?"
Both Sunset and the little shithead could only sputter in response.
"We both know the answer's no." Casually tangling her fingers in the headset's cord, Wallflower continued, "There's no loving a mistake, especially not one as fucking useless as you."
After a long pause, the shithead weakly replied, "W-well you're just a stupid bitch—"
"You were an accident, weren't you, shit-for-brains?" Wallflower spoke slowly, enunciating each word. "That's why you're harassing my girlfriend, huh? You want her to make you a sandwich so someone will show your dumb ass the care your momma never gives to you?"
Sunset gaped at her.
"Sh-shut up!" the dumbass hissed.
"But she's never gonna make you a sandwich, dipshit," Wallflower scoffed. "No woman ever will. You're going to die alone, and thank fuck for that, since you won't be polluting the gene pool with your fucking squeaky-ass vocal cords."
"Holy shit, babe," Sunset muttered, unsure whether she should be disturbed by this rant, or aroused. Or maybe both.
Even without the headset on, Sunset could hear the sound of a seventh-grade boy's fragile masculinity shatter to a million bits. A tearful, cracky voice cried out, "If I had a father, he'd hear about this!" before immediately disconnecting.
"What, you think he'd want to?" Wallflower spat to the dead air. "If he gave a single dusty fuck about you, he would've stuck around. Idiot."
Sunset tapped her on the shoulder. "Uh, Wally?"
Wallflower lifted one end of the headset and smiled at her. "Yes, Sunset?"
"He ragequit, hon." Sunset gently took the headset from Wallflower's hands, then turned off the game.
"...Huh. Figures." With a contented sigh, Wallflower snuggled back into Sunset… but not before adding under her breath, "Punk-ass no-dad-having bitch."
Sunset cocked her head. "What was that, babe?"
"Oh, nothing." Wallflower took Sunset's arm and leaned against it like a pillow. "Can we do pizza tonight for dinner again?"
"Of course, sweetie."
Do I need to be concerned about this? Sunset wondered, looking over at the same girl who had just cussed out a preteen cuddle into her.
When Wallflower caught her staring, she murmured, smiling, "You have pretty eyes."
Nah.
"Okay, Wally, just a little bit further…"
"Sunset!" Wallflower giggled. "You said that five minutes ago!"
Careful not to steer Wallflower into wayward passers-by, Sunset giggled in turn. "Okay, fair, but I really mean it this time."
With a smirk, Wallflower teased, "You fuckin' better."
Though that playful comment earned them a few strange looks, Sunset paid them no mind. She guided Wallflower just a little bit further, as promised, until she brought them both to a halt.
"Alright, Wally." Stepping aside, Sunset removed her hands from Wallflower's eyes. "You can open your eyes now."
With bated breath, Sunset watched as Wallflower slowly opened her eyes and took it all in. When she didn't immediately comment on the scene before her, Sunset tried her best not to second-guess herself. Even so, each second that passed had her heart racing.
Garlic Grove wasn't the best Italian place in town—in fact it was one of hundreds in a nationwide chain—but it had been the best Sunset could afford. Happy as she was to have Wallflower living safely with her, the inevitably tighter budget meant their dinner date options were limited. Even with her new job, it had taken Sunset several weeks of careful budgeting to make this happen. At the very least, she just hoped Wallflower would have a decent time—
"Holy shit!" Wallflower's eyes were wide as dinner plates. "This is where we're having dinner?!"
With a sigh of relief, Sunset replied, "I know you enjoy pasta, so I figured—"
"'Enjoy'? Are you kidding?!" Wallflower's starry eyes lit up. "I've always wanted to go here! I've had dreams where I get a job as a dishwasher just so I can lick the plates!" She grabbed Sunset by the shoulders. "And you're taking me out on a date here?!"
"Uhh… yeah?" Sunset managed between shakings.
Quickly letting go of Sunset—who almost fell over in the process—Wallflower ran towards the front doors of the restaurant. "I'm gonna eat carbonara until I fucking die!"
A green blur rushed past a crowd of restaurant patrons a few of whom muttered and grumbled. Sunset ignored them, beaming from ear to ear as she followed after her date.
If Wallflower had been wide-eyed before, her pupils could be seen from space now. "This. Place. Is. Gorgeous!" She whirled around to find Sunset smiling at her. "You are the best fucking girlfriend ever, you know that?!"
"I try my best," Sunset said coolly. "And we haven't even sat down to order yet." She gave Wallflower's hands a playful squeeze. "What are you gonna say when they bring out the food?"
"Words!" Wallflower squeezed back. "Lots of words! Probably a lot that begin with fu—"
A waitress cut in, menus in hand, "Two tonight?"
"Yes, table for two," Sunset said with a nod.
As the pair followed after the smiling waitress, Wallflower mumbled more barely contained exclamations of joy… peppered with a healthy seasoning of swear words, of course. Sunset just laughed.
Once they were seated, both picked up their menus and studied them intensely. Exactly everything on the menu sounded delicious, if generic. Not quite exquisite, if Sunset dared to glean from Rarity's dictionary, but still very appetizing. Wallflower certainly seemed to think so, reading over the whole thing half a dozen times.
Sunset stole a moment to look up from her menu over at her date. Wallflower looked over the menu like a kid in a candy store: eager and indecisive and bright-eyed and so, so happy.
Yes, tonight was going to be worth every penny.
"Can I get you two started with some drinks?" the waitress asked, startling the both of them with her sudden—and stealthy—reappearance.
Sunset shrugged. "Just water for me."
"Sure. And for you, ma'am?"
Wallflower's eyes were glued to the menu again.
"Err, ma'am?"
Sunset tapped Wallflower's hand. "Babe?"
"Fuck!" Wallflower jumped. The waitress jumped too. "Oh, sorry!" Wallflower forced an awkward laugh. "I was just looking at your Italian sodas and they all look so. Fucking. Good!"
"Er…" Clearly flustered, the waitress said with an awkward laugh of her own, "Yes, they are pretty good. We also have a new special flavor out for this month—"
Wallflower gasped. "Ooooh! Tell me, tell me!"
"It's, uh, blackberry—"
"Hell yeah!" Wallflower slammed her menu down on the table. "Gimme that one!"
The waitress scribbled on her notepad. "Of course, of course. One Italian soda—"
"Actually… Make that two." Sunset grinned, then winked at her girlfriend. "I'll have what she's having."
After mumbling something that sounded like, "Shouldn't we all," the waitress then asked, "Are you two ready to order or do you need some more ti—"
"Carbonara!" Wallflower exclaimed. "Please! A lot of it!" Between bouncing in her seat and the sheer look of desperation on her face, she sounded like she was starving for that blessed union of bacon and pasta.
Laughing, Sunset said again, "I'll have what she's having."
With another quick nod, the waitress disappeared as quickly as she'd arrived.
Once it was just the two of them, Wallflower looked around, leaned in, and pecked Sunset on the lips.
"What was that for?" Sunset asked, grinning, her cheeks tinged red.
"For being the best fucking girlfriend on this entire goddamn planet."
Sunset cracked her knuckles. "I try my best," she said with a smirk.
The two shared a laugh, soon followed by more.
While they waited for their food to arrive, Sunset and Wallflower discussed everything and nothing: classes at CSU; Sunset's job; Rainbow Dash finally passing that math class; the next flavors they wanted to try at their favorite ice cream place. Throughout the conversation, not once did Wallflower retreat into familiar habits and patterns Sunset had long noticed. Rather than cower in on herself, dismiss her own words, or give one-word answers, she was lively, animated, loud.
Loud mixed with generous sprinklings of curse words was something that not everyone could handle, Sunset knew. As the dinner hour ensued and more customers were seated beside them, Sunset wasn't oblivious to the odd looks and sneering stares their way. Although she noticed these, she didn't acknowledge them; they didn't matter.
What mattered was how effortlessly Wallflower spoke and laughed and was here—a place that she likely would never have dared set foot in before letting go of the terrible things holding her back. Sunset would take a thousand weird looks and overdramatic eyerolls if it meant that Wallflower could be this comfortable and confident in the world.
Shortly before their meals arrived, the waitress returned, along with who Sunset presumed was the manager by her side.
"Excuse us, ladies," the manager began, "but there's a table on the other side of the restaurant that's a bit more… private, if you don't mind moving?"
Sunset stiffened. "W-well, I don't think that'll be—"
"Sure! A private table sounds nice!" Wallflower looked to her girlfriend… and wiggled her eyebrows. "Even kind of romantic, right?"
"Buh—yeah." Sunset stopped herself before she could argue, then looked up to the waitress and manager. "Sure, no problem."
After taking a long, loud sip of her blackberry Italian soda, Wallflower asked, "Can we get some refills over there, too?"
"Of course." The manager, along with the waitress, began to clear the table. He then pointed to the side of the restaurant that was completely empty, save for one table in the corner. "We have you folks set up right over there. It'll just be a minute."
"Sure thing." Sunset reached for Wallflower's hand, her smile betraying none of her understanding. "C'mon, babe."
After all, Sunset would take the corner table every time if it meant seeing Wallflower smile.
A loud, crowded arcade packed with little kids, high schoolers playing hooky, and nerds of all ages wasn't a place Sunset thought Wallflower would enjoy. She passed by this place multiple times a week on the way to her mall job. Though it always looked like fun, Sunset figured it was all kinds of "too much" for her girlfriend.
The past several weeks, however, had shown Sunset that Wallflower's tolerance for "too much" had grown significantly. Whether it was going out to a fancy restaurant—where they ate at their preferred corner table—trying on new outfits at a high-end clothing store, or watching a movie in a packed theater, Wallflower had been enjoying the heck out of "too much." An arcade trip would just be another in a long string of recent successes.
And so, Sunset found herself at the mall's bustling arcade, Wallflower's arm linked in hers. While the pair awaited the rest of their friends to arrive for a fun day of retro games, janky prizes, and overpriced pizza, they made a loop around, checking everything out.
"Wow, this place looks fuckin' awesome!" Wallflower yanked Sunset towards a row of skee-ball machines. "Oooh, skee-ball! I haven't played this shit since I was like, five fuckin' years old!"
Feeling the glare of a middle-aged blonde woman, two small children in tow, on her, Sunset forced a chuckle. "Heh, that's great, hon."
"Do we have to wait for everyone else to show up?" Wallflower pouted. "I wanna play some goddamn skee-ball right now!"
Sunset avoided yet another strange look. "Sure, babe. Let me go get us some tokens, okay?"
"Yay!" Jumping up and down, Wallflower eagerly took her place at one of the skee-ball machines.
Smiling from ear to ear, Sunset laughed to herself, then went to find some tokens. She had just located a machine and begun feeding it dollars when she heard familiar voices coming up behind her.
Fistful of tokens in hand, Sunset turned around. "Hey, guys!"
A chorus of greetings followed. The entire gang was here, ready for their first outing as a group in over a month.
As she exchanged more Canterlot currency for proprietary coins, Sunset asked, "So, what does everyone want to play first? Air hockey? Basketball? Maybe the—"
In a blur of wild green hair and a dazzling smile, Wallflower was at Sunset's side. "Are y'all ready for some motherfuckin' skee-ball?!"
The reactions to Wallflower's newfound extroversion were the following:
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing.
Fluttershy gasped.
Twilight's eyes widened.
Rarity and Applejack threw their hands over Pinkie Pie's ears, then shot Sunset pointed glares.
"What did she say?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Nothing!" everyone—sans Dash, Wallflower, and Sunset—shouted in unison.
"What?" Wallflower looked perplexed. "C'mon, guys!" Her confident smile returning, she added, "Skee-ball is based as fuck!"
Howling with laughter, Rainbow Dash fell to the floor. "Hell yeah it is!"
"I can't hear anyone!" Pinkie shouted. "Is there something wrong with this arcade?"
"Uh, guys?" Sunset addressed Applejack and Rarity. "Why are you covering her ears?"
"Sunset Shimmer!" Rarity gasped overdramatically. "Do you know what would happen if those foul words entered Pinkie Pie's vocabulary?!"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Some bad shit, that's for sure."
Rarity smacked her.
Applejack rubbed her shoulder. "Hey!"
"Ummm…" Fluttershy looked down at the floor. "Is Rainbow Dash going to be okay?"
In response, Rainbow Dash rolled around, raised a finger, wheezed, and rolled around some more.
"I still can't hear anything!" Pinkie protested, oblivious to the two pairs of hands on her ears. "Hello? Anyone home?" When no one answered, she exclaimed in increasing panic, "Hello?! Guys?! Am I being detained?!"
Eyebrows raised, Wallflower turned to Sunset. "Are we still gonna play skee-ball, or…?"
With a valiant effort, Rainbow Dash finally made it to her feet. She staggered, laughing between every word as she answered, "Oh, I'll play you some fuckin' skee-ball, flower girl!"
To both Sunset's relief—and continued confusion—Wallflower cheered, grabbed Dash by the elbow, and heaved her towards the row of skee-ball machines. Once the two had left, all eyes were on Sunset again.
"So…" Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Wallflower seems, um—"
"Off her rocker?" Applejack offered.
Fluttershy shot her a look. "I was going to say, 'different'."
"She's not insane," Sunset deadpanned. "We've been trying something, and it's been helping her."
"Trying something? Trying what, exactly?" Rarity glanced over at Dash and Wallflower—the latter of whom was rattling off a string of expletives, the former laughing hysterically. "Teaching her to be a potty mouth?"
"No, teaching her that she can do the things she wasn't allowed to do," Sunset said. "You know, things that bitch of a mother wouldn't let her do."
At that, the remaining others—minus Pinkie Pie, who was now attempting to echolocate her way around the arcade—fell silent. Rarity and Applejack exchanged concerned glances, though their hands remained firmly on Pinkie's ears.
Twilight raised a finger. "So this is a form of therapy, then?"
Sunset shrugged. "I guess. It was Rainbow Dash's idea."
"Of course it was," Rarity mumbled under her breath.
With an uneasy smile, Sunset began, "Look, I know it seems really weird, but this is really helping her, okay? Before I started encouraging her to 'break the rules'— " Sunset emphasized with air quotes—"it was hard to even get her to leave the apartment after what happened." Her smile grew. "But ever since, Wallflower hasn't missed a class, she's been going out more…" She laughed. "I don't think she would have agreed to come to the arcade today if it hadn't been for this. Places like this are usually way too much for her."
Once Sunset finished, the others didn't immediately reply. More concerned looks were shared, although they seemed more conflicted than before. While her friends considered her words, Sunset peeked over to the skee-ball area. There, Dash was cheering Wallflower on while a mountain of tickets piled at her feet.
Fluttershy was the first to break the silence. "Well… I can't say I agree with the method, but if it really is helping her, then I guess I'm on board." She smiled at Sunset. "I'm glad to see she's doing better."
Sunset smiled back. "Thanks, Fluttershy." She then turned to the others, an expectant expression on her face.
Of the rest, Rarity was the first to speak up. "Though it might be a tad… unconventional, let's say," she said slowly, clearly not as convinced, "Fluttershy does have a point. Wallflower does seem to be doing better."
Nearby, Wallflower struggled to hold several armfuls of tickets, a bright grin on her face. Laughing, Rainbow Dash gave her a high-five, then scooped up the remaining tickets from the sticky floor.
Sunset looked on with pride before turning back to her friends.
After a moment, Applejack nodded in agreement. "It's a little strange, I guess, but if it's working, I suppose that'll do." Maintaining her grip on Pinkie, who began to wander in search of more things to echolocate at, she added, "Long as you don't let things get totally outta control."
Twilight chimed in, "I think—"
Dash's raspy voice cut in behind them, "Hey, Wallflower! Did you know that fuck is also a verb?"
"Wow, really?!" Wallflower exclaimed with glee. "That's so cool! What does it mean?"
To Sunset's horror, when she spun around, Dash was already whispering in Wallflower's ear.
In response, Wallflower Blush turned beet red, dropping the pile of tickets in her arms. She stared at Sunset, sweat forming on her brow as her pupils dilated. After heaving several unsteady breaths, she shouted for the benefit of the arcade, "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."
With that, Wallflower sprinted out of the room.
"Guess I spoke too soon," Applejack muttered, solemnly shaking her head.
Rarity mumbled something that sounded like an expletive, then facepalmed.
"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy scolded. "Why would you do that?"
"Because it's hilarious!" Rainbow Dash cackled. "Look at that girl go! I'm so proud of her!"
"Wallflower? Wallflower?!" Panicking, Pinkie chattered more sounds at the ceiling. "Where did she go?!"
Her face as red as her hair, Sunset, having heard nothing but time standing still after Wallflower's declaration, finally managed to find the willpower to move. "I'm… gonna go check on her," she mumbled to no one in particular, before courageously following after her girlfriend.
As she pushed open the door to the ladies' room, Sunset called out, "Babe? Are you o—"
Standing in front of the mirror, Wallflower splashed herself over and over with water from the sink, then shouted at Sunset, "I'm GAY!"
"—kay…?"
Before Sunset could inquire further, the gentle touch of a hand on her shoulder made her jump.
"Oh, sorry, Sunset! I didn't mean to startle you." Fluttershy was at her side, the bundle of tickets in her arms. "Is Wallflower okay? She dropped all her tickets."
Looking over at her girlfriend—who was now dunking her head in the sink—Sunset replied, "I'm… not sure."
Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Goodness! The poor dear is so flustered." She put her hand on Sunset's shoulder again and gently tugged. "Let's give her a moment. Dash seems to have really upset her."
"Upset her…" Sunset swallowed. "Yeah…"
After stepping away from the door, Sunset and Fluttershy waited patiently for Wallflower to emerge. The rest of their group were scattered across the arcade, either playing games or attempting to keep Pinkie Pie out of trouble. They hadn't waited for more than a minute when Wallflower burst through the door, her face dripping wet.
Before either could say anything, Wallflower ran over and snatched her tickets out of Fluttershy's hands. "Thanks for the tickets, I'm gonna go cash them in also Sunset I really need to talk to you when we get home!" Wallflower yelled without taking a breath… or slowing down.
Sunset wasn't aware of the goofy grin on her face until Fluttershy asked her, "What are you smiling about?"
"Oh, nothing," Sunset said dreamily.
Fluttershy sighed. "This has been a weird day."
"Looking forward to tonight, though," Sunset mused.
As they followed after Wallflower, Fluttershy said something in reply, but Sunset couldn't hear it, instead focusing on watching her girlfriend redeem those hard-earned tickets. She settled in beside the counter while Wallflower waited in line. Once it was her turn and her tickets were counted, Sunset stepped up beside her. "What do you wanna get, hon?"
Wallflower rubbed her chin. "Hmm…" Suddenly, her whole face lit up. "Oh, I know! I'll get a stuffed animal!" She clapped her hands together, smiling. "Mom always said I was too old for them, even when I was really little."
"That's a really good idea!" Sunset gestured to the row of stuffed animals. "Which one do you like the most?"
Wallflower took all of ten seconds to select her prize. "I want that one!" She pointed at the giant stuffed bunny, the last of its kind at the prize counter. The employee working the counter grabbed the bunny from its place high atop a shelf, then handed it to Wallflower. Instantly, she enveloped it in a crushing hug.
Smiling, Sunset wrapped an arm around her. "You should start thinking of a name for him, Wally."
Wallflower nuzzled the bunny. "I know! I'll call you—"
A small, squeaky voice piped up from behind them. "Excuse me…"
Both girls turned around to find a young boy looking up at them. He couldn't have been any older than eight.
"What's wrong, little guy?" Sunset asked.
"I…" The boy's eyes filled with tears. "I wanted the bunny."
Sunset frowned. "Oh, well—"
"Sorry, kid! This bun's mine!" Wallflower grabbed Sunset's hand. She moved to leave the ticket counter, but Sunset stayed planted. "No one tells me what to do anymore!"
"Wally—"
Facing away from her, Wallflower declared, "I can have a giant fucking stuffed bunny if I want! I can say bad words if I want! I can do whatever the fuck I want, and you can't hurt me anymore!" Volume increasing with every word, Wallflower finished with a flourish. "Eat shit, shiteater! DAB!"
Wallflower dabbed.
The room fell silent.
Sunset froze.
"C'mon, Sunset!" Wallflower looked over her shoulder. "Last one to the car buys ice cream!"
Wallflower ran off.
Sunset didn't.
The sounds of a child crying, a crowd clamoring, and their group of friends across the way whispering amongst themselves—except Rainbow Dash, who was literally rolling on the floor laughing—brought Sunset back down to Earth. The impact may as well have cratered.
Applejack and Rarity's hands falling limp, Pinkie Pie pushed them aside at last. "Hey, what's that word Wallflower just said?"
Sunset watched her girlfriend excitedly run out the front door.
Sunset Shimmer barely registered getting in the car, starting the engine, and driving herself and Wallflower home. She swore she could still hear the crying child beneath Wallflower’s triumphant exclamations of “Fuck!” “Shit!” and other profanities. Though Sunset had endured more than her fair share of trauma—in two different realities, no less—she had never appreciated the phrase “thousand-yard stare” prior to tonight.
“I fucking love this goddamn bunny!” Wallflower squeezed her prize tight, snuggling into its thick warmth. “If anything happened to him, I would literally die!” Her eyes widened on Sunset. “I would literally die, Sunset!”
“Uh-huh,” Sunset muttered, eyes wide as saucers—but not focused on Wallflower. Or the road, really.
Holding the bunny up to meet her eyes, Wallflower beamed. “My first ever stuffed animal! I’m gonna name you Chad, Respecter of Women!” After hugging Chad, she added, “He doesn’t afraid of anything, not even my mom!”
Sunset blew through a red light. “Mhm.”
“Um, hey, so…”
This time, Sunset noticed the stop sign. “Uh huh?” she replied, still staring straight ahead.
“So… I’ve been thinking about something Rainbow Dash told me…” As Wallflower trailed off, Sunset felt her lean in closer. “A-and I, um…” A shaky, yet warm hand found its way atop Sunset’s thigh. “Was wondering i-if we could… um… talk about it tonight? Ifyouwanttoofcourse.”
Any other time, Sunset’s reaction to her girlfriend’s hand resting there, alongside wanting to “talk” about something later, would have set off so many sapphic alarm bells that they could be heard from the island of Lesbos itself. Given that the evening had culminated in Wallflower Blush dabbing on a sobbing child, though, taking that next step in their relationship was… not exactly at the top of the priority list.
“Yeah…” Sunset said slowly, finally pulling the car into their parking lot. “We really need to talk.”
“Holy bitch sauce!” Swirling a tortilla chip into a lake of queso, Wallflower shouted, “This is the best queso dip I’ve ever had! Ever!”
“Holy… bitch sauce?” Eyebrows raised, Sunset looked up from her burrito. “Uh, what does that mean, exactly?”
“Who knows?” Wallflower shoved another chip, dripping with cheese, into her mouth. “I sure as fuck don’t! But who cares? It’s delicious!”
Normally, Sunset would be inclined to agree, likely with a giggle and a bright smile. Tonight, she could only busy herself with pretending to take another bite of her burrito, though she was no longer hungry. Ordering delivery was all she could think to do once they got home, too distracted to cook. Although she was internally debating how to address the… dabbingincident… Wallflower was none the wiser. She was more than happy to try a new restaurant, not even questioning why Sunset had changed their dinner plans.
What otherwise would have been silence was peppered with Wallflower powering through her own chips and tacos. The third chair at their small dining table was occupied by Chad, Respecter of Women. Sunset didn’t even have the heart to make a joke about his presence, let alone his name, when her mind was racing like this.
After what happened at the arcade, something needed to be said. Might as well get it over with.
“Wally…” Slowly, Sunset looked up from her food to meet Wallflower’s eyes. Doing her best to sound neutral, she began, “I’ve noticed you’ve been… swearing a lot lately.”
A rainfall of crumbs tumbled from Wallflower’s chips-and-cheese stuffed cheeks. After quickly swallowing, she replied, “I know! Isn’t it great?”
“Well, actually—"
“It’s just been so…” A wide smile curled across Wallflower’s lips. “Liberating, y’know? I mean…” She traced idle circles on the table with a finger. "It's just like you said, she can't hurt me anymore. Swearing helps me remind myself of that. Whenever my stupid brain starts being stupid, I can just—"
"Wally, you're not stupid—"
"—shout FUCK, and I feel better! Honestly, it works so well that I'm wondering if we should just cancel that therapy appointment you made for me."
Sunset frowned. "I don't think that's—"
"I used to be Wallflower Blush, the sad little loser afraid of her mom, but now…" Wallflower pounded the table, rattling the plate before her. "I'm Wallflower Blush, the girl who swears all the goddamn time!"
Sunset fell silent. This was definitely not going how she planned.
With a small sigh, Wallflower shook her head. “And yeah, there’s still a lot of things that I’m afraid of, and things that she did that hurt me, but…” She reached for Sunset’s hand. “I can just say bad words and not have to think about it! Whenever I feel scared, I can swear as much as I want and I don't have to feel anxious for a while.” She gave Sunset’s hand a gentle squeeze. "And I have you to thank for that.”
Dread chilled down Sunset’s spine. At seeing those beautiful brown eyes, brimming with happy tears, and that sparkling smile, which glowed with a confidence and security never seen or felt before…
This wasn't the right time to talk about this. Not now. Sunset couldn't take this moment away from her. There were real concerns that they needed to address. Real limits to Wallflower's newfound confidence that needed to be discussed. But right now?
Right now, Sunset would rather jump off a building than shatter that smile.
And so, Sunset plastered on a smile to match Wallflower’s. “That’s great, Wally.” She squeezed her hand back. “I’m just… so happy that you’re happy.”
The look they shared was one that should’ve made Sunset’s heart soar. Instead, it made it sink like a stone into the icy depths of an uncertain sea. When the moment was right, that talk was not going to be easy. Sunset needed to choose a time where both of them were in the right headspace, whatever that was.
To make matters worse, Sunset felt Wallflower’s other hand come to rest on her thigh again. “S-so, um…” A bright blush cascaded across Wallflower’s cheeks. “About that talk I mentioned…”
Oh no. Speaking of bad timing...
“Uh…!” Mind scrambling, Sunset struggled to come up with any reasonable excuse that wouldn't shatter their hopes and dreams. Especially Wallflower’s, who before today had always seemed frightened by the very prospect of intimacy. As much as Sunset wanted to lean into her touch and see where the night took them, this was definitely not the right time.
Cheeks flushed, Sunset continued to stutter. “I… uhh…” In a snap, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m—period. Perioding!” She stood up from the table, legs crossed. “I, um... I’m perioding! Right now!”
“What does that even—ohhhh.” Wallflower withdrew her hand. “Okay.” Then, she tilted her head. “Wait, didn’t you have that last week? Are you okay?”
Before Wallflower could question further, Sunset called out, “I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM," and rushed into it, slamming the door behind her.
Well aware that pretending that she was on her period could only buy her a few more days, Sunset spent her rare bits of free time between school, shifts at work and everything else thinking over what the best way would be to curb Wallflower's new habit without ripping away her newfound confidence as well.
Today, she pondered the issue even while at work. The clothing store wasn't the biggest step up from working at the sushi place, but at least it smelled better. Plus, she didn't have to wear that ridiculous uniform.
While she mindlessly folded jeans and placed them on a display shelf, Sunset's mind puzzled over the problem again and again.
It was clear from the events at the arcade that Wallflower wasn't aware of just how much her behavior was escalating. Cursing in public wouldn't be too much of a problem if it was sparse and necessary. Dabbing on a sobbing child, however…
If Sunset hadn't seen it for herself, she would have never believed Wallflower would have behaved so thoughtlessly. Then again, perhaps this was the first time in her entire life that Wallflower had been allowed to think about herself at all. She was just going a bit overboard with it, that was all. Surely once Sunset pointed this out, she would draw back and—
"Sunset?"
The voice of her boss, Miss Couture, pulled Sunset from her thoughts. She turned around to face her. "Yes?"
Miss Couture passed her a clipboard. "When you're done folding those, can you do inventory for the junior section?"
Sunset held back a sigh. Doing inventory would take another couple of hours. Hopefully she would be able to get off work before it got too late. She didn't want another reason to put off that conversation at home. At least more mindless work could help her brainstorm.
"Sure thing." Sunset set down the last pair of folded jeans. "Anything else I need to do before my shift's over?"
Miss Couture shook her head. "Just don't forget to set the alarm before you leave, okay?" The sound of a bell ringing at the front of the store caught her attention. "I'll get that." She waved Sunset off. "Go ahead and get started on—"
Suddenly, Sunset was grabbed from behind by a pair of weak nerd arms. "Wha—?"
"Hi, Sunset!" Nuzzling her hair, Wallflower squeezed her tight. "It's me! Your girlfriend! Who you love!"
"Aww…" Hands clasped together, Miss Couture regarded the couple with a smile. "How cute! But work while you talk please, Sunset. I don't pay you to flirt." She then left them to tend to the customer who had entered the store.
"W-Wally!" Sunset moved her hands down to hold Wallflower's, where they were wrapped tightly around her waist. "What are you—I mean, when did you get here?"
Giving her another squeeze, Wallflower giggled. "Oh, I've been here for a while!" Still pressed against her back, she kissed Sunset's cheek. "I tried to get your attention earlier, but you were kinda staring off into space."
"Oh…" Sunset cringed. "Sorry."
"No sorries!" Wallflower playfully tapped Sunset's nose. "No sorries allowed. Those dresses were pretty fuckin' cool, huh?"
Glancing over in her boss's direction, Sunset was relieved to note that neither she nor the customer had apparently heard Wallflower. Or, at least, they didn't seem bothered by her. "Uh…" Sunset looked at the discount rack beside the jeans she had been folding. Sure enough, there were dresses on it. "Uh, yeah. They're pretty cute."
"You're pretty cute!" Wallflower untangled herself from Sunset, then walked over to the rack. "Did you want one for yourself? Is that why you were staring at them?" Before Sunset could reply, she went starry-eyed. "Oh, did you want one for me?!"
Sunset rubbed the back of her neck. "Um, w-well—"
Twirling around, Wallflower began excitedly rifling through the rack. "I've never had a dress before! Mom never let me have one!" She shuffled through various dresses, occasionally pulling one out to look at. "She always said I'd look like a slut. Isn't that fucking ridiculous?"
Another nervous glance at the other side of the store, while clear, failed to calm Sunset's nerves. "Heh, yeah." She moved closer to Wallflower. "Hey, babe, maybe you could keep your voice down—?"
"Oooh!" Wallflower grabbed a dress and held it in front of her. "Look at this one!" The dress was a long, flowy mint-green garment with lattice around the bust and a row of emerald sequins along the hem. At just the right angle, the sequins caught the light and sparkled.
"That is really pretty, but—"
"Can you imagine me wearing this?" Wallflower draped it over herself. "What if I wore it to that big pony party dance thing you told me they have where you're from? I'd be the glitziest bitch at that gala!"
After looking over her shoulder, Sunset muttered, "Wally, could you please—"
"What the fuck?!" Holding the price tag, Wallflower scoffed, "Two hundred dollars?! That's fucking insane! Who comes up with this shit?!" She threw the dress back on the rack. "That's more than every fucking outfit I own! Which admittedly isn't a lot, but still! What the fuck!"
Between frantic glances back at Miss Couture and the other customer at the front of the store, Sunset tried to shush her. To no avail. Wallflower continued looking through the dresses with equal parts profanity and envy, all while Sunset tried her best to check on her boss and get Wallflower to calm down.
Once Wallflower had seemed to have gone through all the dresses, Sunset put an arm around her. "Well hon, it was real… nice of you to visit me at work, but I need to finish a few things before I can clock off." She steered her towards the door. "Why don't you head on home and I'll—"
"But I thought we could ride home together!" Frowning, Wallflower reached for Sunset's hand. "I walked here all the way from class."
Though seeing Wally crestfallen made Sunset hesitate, she had to get Wallflower to leave. It was only by some strange stroke of luck that her boss hadn't already stormed over and kicked Wallflower out herself; she'd seen other customers banned from the store for less. This wasn't some big box store with mass-produced clothing literally falling apart at the seams. This was a high-end, designer label—one that expected better from its clientele and its workers.
Realizing that she had fallen silent, Sunset shook off her thoughts and turned back to Wallflower. "I have at least two hours left. How about you take the bus home and I'll try to grab some takeout once I'm off?"
Wallflower's eyes lit up. "Pizza?"
Sunset held back a sigh. "I'll do my best, Wally."
"Fuck yeah!" Wallflower cheered. She wrapped Sunset up in another hug. "I fucking love you, you know that?"
More concerned with looking behind them than returning the hug, Sunset replied, "I-I love you, too, Wally. Now…" Abruptly, she broke their embrace and shuffled Wallflower to the door. "Don't miss the bus, okay? I'll see you at home."
Oblivious to her obvious discomfort, Wallflower just smiled. "Okay! See you soon!" After a quick peck to Sunset's lips, she was off.
At last, Sunset let loose a breath she very much knew she'd been holding. Shaking her head, she picked up the clipboard she'd left with the jeans, then made her way to the junior section. Up front, she heard Miss Couture check out the customer at the register. While the transaction was completed, Sunset started on the inventory. Rather than rush through it, she took her time, distracted by both her earlier dilemma and Wallflower's surprise.
Tonight had been the first time Wallflower had visited her at work. Other than an occasional bus ride home, Wallflower never went anywhere by herself. Especially after dark. Such ventures always made Wallflower anxious. Tonight should have been something to celebrate—a new milestone.
Instead, Sunset had been the one anxious the entire time. Literally looking over her shoulder.
Sighing, she took a break from the inventory sheet. How Wallflower had sworn that much without Miss Couture hearing, Sunset would never—
"Miss Shimmer."
Icy dread coiled its tendrils through Sunset's stomach. That was not Miss Couture's "happy to see you" voice.
Sunset turned around, fidgeting with her clipboard. "Y-yes, Miss Couture?"
A stern frown on her face, her supervisor said, "We need to have a talk about you bringing visitors to work."
By the time Sunset made it home, she was exhausted. She fumbled with the key, her hands shaking. Gritting her teeth, she finally made the damn lock turn. Before she opened the door, she took a long, slow, deep breath.
As painful as this was going to be, it had to be done. It had to be done tonight. No more excuses.
Envisioning the conversation that lay before her, Sunset almost contemplated going back to the car. Not to drive anywhere. Just to sit. And think. And put this off.
Sighing, Sunset steeled the last shred of her resolve, then opened the door.
"Hi, Sunset!" The enthusiastic greeting should've brought a smile to her face.
Rather than paint on a smile, Sunset just closed the door behind her. "Hi, Wally," she said half-heartedly.
If Wallflower was phased, she didn't show it. Instead, she was sprawled across the couch, phone in hand, some colorful cartoon show on the TV screen. With a stretch and a yawn, she rolled over so she was looking directly at Sunset. "You're sure home late! Was traffic really shitty or what?"
There was that cute little giggle that never failed to make Sunset light up before.
Tonight was an exception.
"No…" Sunset took off her boots and jacket, then left them in their place beside the door. "Traffic was pretty much gone by the time I got off work."
Wallflower shrugged. "Huh." With nary a speck of grace, she rolled back over, eyes back on the screens. As she did so, she scooted closer to one end of the couch. When Sunset didn't move, Wallflower patted the freed seat beside her and gave a playful waggle of her eyebrows.
Hint received, understood… delayed with just one more deep sigh.
This time, Wallflower heard her. "Everything okay, hon?"
"No," Sunset said again, both slower and more forcefully this time. She took her seat, then folded her hands in her lap.
"Oh." After sitting up, Wallflower turned to face her. "What's wrong?" she asked, reaching for Sunset's hand.
For the first time that she could remember, Sunset didn't reciprocate.
Wallflower must have remembered, too. She instantly pulled away, then looked at the floor, rubbing one palm over the other.
"...Please talk to me," Wallflower whispered, once the silence grew too thick and heavy and all-encompassing.
Sunset knew it. She felt it too. The alternative to staying silent was burning with anger, and she'd be damned if she let her temper show. Not here, not now. Not to Wallflower. Wallflower had just broken free of someone who terrified her; Sunset would not allow herself to become someone her girlfriend had to fear.
"Wally."
Slowly, timidly, Wallflower met her eyes.
Sunset hated how they looked. How she made them look.
"Wally…" Sunset heaved a deep sigh. "We need to talk."
"...We're talking right now." Wallflower's voice was quiet, uncertain. As if she thought she'd shatter something precious if she spoke too loudly.
But she was not the one with that power. Sunset knew this too, and hated herself for it.
She still had to do this. She had to.
"That's not what I mean." Sunset sighed. "Do you know why I was late getting home tonight?"
Wallflower silently shook her head.
"Miss Couture pulled me aside to talk after you left."
"Who?"
"She's my boss," Sunset said. "She was there when you first snuck up on me."
"Oh." Wallflower fidgeted with her hair. "Okay."
"She told me I'm not allowed to have visitors at work anymore. Not you, not Rarity, no one." A bit of an edge crept into Sunset's voice. "If anyone comes by to see me, I have to tell them to leave immediately."
"What?" Wallflower scoffed. "Wow, Miss Couture sounds like a huge bitch."
Sunset's jaw hurt from how hard she bit back a swear of her own. "She's not, actually. She's not the problem here, Wallflower."
Silence hung heavy in the room as Sunset waited for Wallflower to connect the dots. "So… so it's my fault?"
"Of course it is!" The outburst slipped out before Sunset could think. In her head, she berated herself for it. The way Wallflower flinched definitely didn't help.
"I… I don't understand." Wallflower's voice was quiet, almost dull. "What did I do wrong?"
"You really don't know?" Sunset could barely stop herself from shouting. "You came into a luxury boutique and started swearing like a sailor, Wally! Nobody wants to hear that!"
"But I… You said…" In Wallflower's soft brown eyes, Sunset could see the gears turning, meshing and jamming as she apparently tried to piece together what should've been the most obvious thing in the world. Finally, she managed, "Isn't that what you wanted? I… I thought that's what you wanted!"
Sunset rolled her eyes. "I wanted you to do something your mom wouldn't let you do, not parade around in public cursing out anything and everything you see!"
"Well, I'm sorry!" If Wallflower was trying to shout, it wasn't working. All that came out was a choked-up cry. "I only do that so much because I have to, Sunset! If I don't, then I'm back to being the same useless loser my mom was so eager to get rid of!"
"Please don't do that." Sunset rubbed at her temples. "Don't just turn around and use this as a reason to hate yourself."
"It's my fault though!" Growing louder, Wallflower's voice cracked with the strain. "I got you in trouble! I made you uncomfortable!" Red-faced and shaking, she continued, seemingly talking more to herself than Sunset, "How many other people have hated being around me the past few weeks because I-I was too much of an idiot to think about anyone but myself?! I was stupid and selfish and—"
Sunset's hand smacked on the coffee table, rattling Wallflower's milk glass and cereal bowl. "Would you fucking stop that?!" Sunset shouted. "Stop talking about yourself like that! S-stop—"
Suddenly, Sunset realized what she had done, and fell deathly silent.
Across the couch from her, Wallflower was trembling, tears lining her cheeks. A series of broken, whimpering apologies tumbled from her lips, so soft that they could barely be made out. In an instant, she turned away from Sunset and stared at the floor, making herself small. Silent. Scared.
Sunset buried her face in her hands. They'd only been talking for a few minutes, and she'd already lost her temper.
Sunset Shimmer wasn't quite sure what was louder: the thick, heavy silence that followed after Wallflower's last whimpered apology faded out, or the instant regret hammering in her own ears.
She could have taken a deep breath. She could have been patient.
She could have just not said anything, let alone shout like that.
Everything Sunset saw as she looked over at Wallflower confirmed her worst fears. Drawn in on herself, Wallflower scrunched into one corner of the couch, taking up as little space as possible. Her eyes were glued to the floor, not even daring to glance Sunset's direction. Though she had fallen silent now, it was clear that she was doing everything she could not to provoke Sunset further. The latter knew that Wallflower would instantly return to fervent apologizing at the first sign of further aggression or conflict.
The reaction had been instinctive. Ingrained. Something developed over the years, honed by far too many situations just like this one.
As Sunset returned to burying her face in her hands, she longed to be able to look back up and see anything other than fear staring back.
When she saw it once more, Sunset finally dared to try and fix what she had so carelessly broken.
"I'm sorry, Wally." Sunset slowly shook her head. "I'm so—"
"Don't do that."
Mid-sentence, Sunset trailed off. Within seconds, she was scrambling to think of what she could possibly say instead, but Wallflower had beat her to it.
"Don't make excuses for me," Wallflower said, her voice somehow both wavering and steely at the same time. "You don't get to apologize to me for being honest about how I screwed up."
"I—" Dumbfounded, Sunset just blinked. "Wait, what? That's not—"
"I'm the one who messed up," Wallflower continued. "I'm the one who's been acting like a selfish idiot for weeks. It's not right for you to have to apologize just because I don't like being told what I'm doing is wrong and get all pissy about it!"
"Wally…"
"You're allowed to be mad! You should be mad!" Wallflower shook her head. "I deserve it!"
"No, you don't," Sunset said softly.
"I do! I'm doing the same thing to you I did to my mom! Being a thoughtless brat and making you hate me, only to turn around and throw a pity party the second you call me out on it!" Wallflower's voice hollowed and trembled, as if some awful truth had dawned on her. Whatever energy that had fueled her outburst instantly drained away, and her gaze—flat and empty—returned to the floor.
"No wonder she wanted me gone."
Heart sinking, Sunset stared at the floor in turn. Now look where she had led her. Another wrong move, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to pull Wallflower out of the pit Sunset had dug. She bit her lip in thought, chewing over her words, before carefully looking up at her.
"I don't hate you, Wally." Sunset let her words settle before continuing, "I was—I am— concerned, but I don't hate you. I could never hate you." Another pause. "And I shouldn't have yelled at you. I didn't need to raise my voice to say what I was thinking."
From the corner of her eye, Wallflower briefly glanced her way, then returned her gaze to the floor.
This time, Sunset released the breath she'd been holding. "This was…" About to say "Dash's idea," she cut herself off. No. There was no evading responsibility here. "This was my idea, and—"
"—And I screwed it up."
"You might've taken it too far," Sunset replied after a moment, "but that's an easy fix, isn't it? Just, y'know… swear less?"
Wallflower just shook her head again. "It's not that easy, Sunset."
"Why?"
"Because my stupid, useless brain can't handle anything without it," Wallflower said. "I know that sounds dumb, but ever since I left home, i-it's been like… like this thing that helps me to not think about everything that happened, to stay in the present and focus on myself instead of dwelling on the past or on what everyone else might be thinking about me." A bitter chuckle left her lips. "Figures that the moment I stop obsessing over how others think of me, I start acting like a stupid screaming child and make them all hate me. And of course I'd be too self-absorbed to notice."
"Look around the present right now, Wally," Sunset said with a slight smile. "You didn't leave home at all. You're home right now."
Something in Wallflower's posture shifted, but she otherwise didn't respond.
"I… I know swearing has been helpful for you in a lot of ways," Sunset continued, "and I don't want you to lose those good things. And I don't think anyone hates you either."
Wallflower hugged her knees. "Well, they should."
Sunset shook her head. "They don't see it that way. The other day at the arcade, our friends were… concerned." Again, she let her words resonate for a moment before continuing further. "Not angry with you. Not hating you. Just—wondering why."
Wallflower peeked up from her sweater sleeves. "It's the only way I can prove she can't control me anymore."
As she gradually thought through her next response, Sunset laid a hand on the couch cushion between them. The silent offering was not taken, but Wallflower nonetheless didn't move away.
"Being able to do something that she not only didn't let you do, but hurt you for doing… Being able to do that as much as you want, unafraid…" Sunset drummed her fingers on the cushion. "I bet that feels pretty empowering."
Wallflower's only reply was a slight nod.
"Think about it though, Wally. If the reason you're doing it is to prove she's not controlling you anymore, doesn't that mean she still is?"
For the first time in what felt like hours, Wallflower sat up and looked at Sunset. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly, her hands shaking as her girlfriend's words seemed to echo and resonate within and without them both.
Sensing the tide brewing, Sunset reached her outstretched hand a little further.
This time, Wallflower took it just as her tears began.
Soon, Wallflower was leaning against Sunset, her head on her shoulder. Sunset held her close as she cried, running her fingers through Wallflower's hair. The only sound in the apartment was that of Wallflower's almost breathless sobs.
Once they started to die down, Sunset said, "You don't have to prove anything, Wally. Not to me. Not to her. Not to anyone."
Wallflower squeezed her hand. Sunset smiled, and held her a little closer.
By the time Sunset had run out of things to stare at on her phone, she was the only one still sitting in the waiting room. She briefly perused the old magazines the office had scattered around, but found little of interest in their curling pages. After organizing them into a neat stack on the center coffee table, she returned to her seat, then glanced at the clock on the wall.
With a frown, she noted that the appointment had run almost half an hour past its allotted time. Taking a slow breath, she willed herself to try and be patient. Maybe that was a good sign? She hoped as much. Bringing Wallflower here had been the final step Sunset could take; the rest was up to her.
Just as Sunset returned to scrolling through her friends' group chat, the door opened.
Though she was teary-eyed, Wallflower visibly lit up as soon as Sunset looked her way.
Behind Wallflower, the counselor offered both of them a small smile before handing her client a little white card. "Same time next week, Wallflower?"
"Mhm." Wallflower nodded, then wiped at her eyes.
"Alright. Take care, and see you soon." With one last smile towards Sunset, the counselor returned to her office, closing the door behind her.
"Hey." Sunset walked over to Wallflower. "How was it?"
Instead of answering, Wallflower leaned into Sunset, who enveloped her in a hug. The two stayed like that for a while, Sunset holding Wallflower close, feeling her breath against her neck gradually slow to normal.
Then, low enough so only Sunset could hear, Wallflower replied, "Really fucking good."
Hugging her a little tighter, Sunset couldn't help but grin.
Although they broke the hug, Wallflower didn't pull away, reaching for Sunset's hand. They walked out of the CSU counseling office together into the crisp evening air. Neither spoke much as they made their way to the car, enjoying the tranquil silence as the sun began to fade.
Once they were buckled in, Sunset decided to check her phone before starting the car. "Oh!" She glanced up at Wallflower. "Our friends were wondering if you'd be down for going to the arcade again next weekend." With a smirk, she added, "Rainbow Dash says she wants a skee-ball rematch."
Wallflower cracked a brief smile. "I knew she let me win."
"So… should I tell them yes?" Sunset asked, hopeful.
After a moment, Wallflower nodded. "Yeah, okay," she said. "I guess they really aren't mad at me about last time, huh?"
"Of course not, Wally."
Wallflower sighed. Her gaze turned out the window as Sunset started the engine. "You've got some really great friends, Sunset."
Sunset nudged her. "We've got some really great friends."
"...Yeah." Wallflower smiled softly. "Yeah, we do."
