Rainbow Dash vs. Fluttershy
I only wrote this fic so that I could make puns!
___________________________________________________________
"Hello, I'm your host Howard Coltsel."
"I'm Michael Colt."
"And welcome to the latest in Supreme Sports Spectacles."
"Ever since midget tossing was made illegal, we've been clamoring to come up with some brand new ideas in the world of sports entertainment," declared Michael Colt.
"Indeed, and now we believe that we've invented the greatest sport in Equestrian history."
"Wasabi eating."
"And on that note, lets take a look at the competitors."
A picture of Rainbow Dash appeared on the Titantron above the stadium as well as various statistics and information.
Rainbow Dash.
Species:Pegasus.
Height:3ft 6in.
Weight:83lbs
Occupation:Leader of the weather team.
Bio: Rainbow Dash is a fierce competitor. She is headstrong and brazen. She is incredibly athletic as well as very cocky.
She has unbelieveable tolerance for pain and can fly fast enough to break the sound barrier on command.
Despite her astounding athleticism this pegasus has two fatal flaws. First off she is incredibly arrogant and tends to overestimate her abilities. Her cockiness and tendency to not take her competitors seriously has often lead to her downfall.
Second, despite her abundant arrogance Rainbow Dash often collapses under stress and has been known to curl into a fetal position whenever things get out of control.However she is still a seasoned competitor who will do anything to win.
Rainbow Dash walked out to the stage and was immediately greeted by a chorus of cheers. Her music hit and she began to strut down the ramp in front of her, occasionally giving her fans high fives along the way. She slowly walked down the aisle until she came to a table with a multitude of bowls on top of it, each one was filled with wasabi.
She eyed the first bowl, then grabbed a spoon, dipped it in the wasabi, and took a huge chunk of it out of the bowl, then, without a second thought she shoved the whole thing in her mouth and swallowed. She seemed to be perfectly fine at first, but then smoke started to spew from her ears and she turned red. After a few seconds however she cooled down and sauntered backstage.
"My lord that was impressive,"Howard shouted.
"It sure was Howard, she barely burst into flames at all."
"Lets take a look at her score."
A scoreboard appeared on the Titantron.
Quantity: 100 grams
Time:30 seconds
Heat resistance: 8/10
Overall score:97wps
"Oh goodness that's impressive, I don't know if our next competitor will be able to top that."
"Let's take a look at Dash's opponent."
A picture of Fluttershy ducking under a table appeared on the Titantron.
Species:Pegasus
Height: 3ft 8in
Weight:90lbs
Occupation:Veterinarian.
Bio:Fluttershy is...shy and extremely unconfrontational. She is kind, loving, and incredibly timid.She has never competed for anything in her entire life. Her athletic ability is abysmal, with her having a maximum wingpower of five. She is afraid of almost anything and is usually one to back down from a challenge...until she gets mad. Yes, despite her adorable appearance and fearfulness of...everything, the second she gets angry her personality changes entirely. She becomes an unstoppable similar to the juggernaut but far more terrifying.Her abilities increase one thosand fold and she gains a devastating technique known only as "The Stare". The stare is so powerful that it has made full grown dragons cry, and forced cockatrices into submission. Never anger this pony.
Fluttershy walked out onto the stage and was introduced to bright lights, cheering fans, and hundreds of cameras. She immediately curled up into a ball and began to cry. The crowd stopped cheering and an awkward silence enveloped the entirety of the stadium. A referee walked over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder, she instantly sprang up, shrieked in terror, and ran back to the locker rooms.
The entire population of the stadium remained silent, awaiting Fluttershy's return. After about five minutes it became apparent that she wasn't coming back.
"Well,uh, I guess Fluttershy forfieted the match,Rainbow Dash wins by default,"announced Howard.
Suddenly, a blur of yellow and pink came barreling down the ramp towards the table that bore the wasabi and came to a halt directly in front of it.
"My goodness, it's Fluttershy!"
Indeed it was, but this time she seemed to be very different from the shy pony who showed up just minutes ago. This Fluttershy was shaking, and positively seething with rage. She loomed over the bowls of wasabi, eyeing them as if they were her prey.
Then she grabbed the bowls and wolfed them down one by one until all of them were empty. Upon devouring all of the green mush se turned around and calmly trotted up the ramp.
"Well that was interesting.Lets, uh, take a look at the scores Howard."
Quantity:1kilogram
Time: 4 seconds
Heat resistance: 10/10
Overall score:100wps
"Oh my Celestia, Fluttershy got a perfect score."
"Fluttershy is the new champion of wasabi eating!"
Rainbow Dash walked back down the ramp while dragging a petrified Fluttershy, who had fainted after being told she would need to go out to the stage once again. They arrived at the table and the ref held up Fluttershy's forleg,signaling her victory.
Rainbow Dash took off her title belt and unceremoniously tossed it to the ground. She then trudged away while muttering to herself.
Fluttershy finally broke from her fear induced trance,only to see the belt in front of her.
"I won? YES! I WON!"Fluttershy cheered,"yay."
Then she squeed and dove into the crowd to enjoy her victory with the fans.
"Well that sure was an interesting match."
"Yes it was, and you can bet that the next one will be just as exciting, next time, on WEE."
The film crew waited until the stadium was empty, and then began to pack all of the equipment up. Once they were done they shut off the lights and headed off to their next live event.
Fluttershy went home and gleefully told all of her friends about her success and they all went out for fruit smoothies.
Rainbow Dash hung herself three days later.Scootaloo was so devastated that she killed herself as well,which lead to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle to a life of drugs.
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle are now dead.