> Confession > by Velocipede > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter None > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- You knock on the door of the Castle of Friendship, then take a step back to look up at how its height stretches well above your head. While you wait for someone—no, somepony, you remind yourself—to respond, you idly marvel, as always, at how convenient it is that these short little ponies liked to make their buildings far taller than they needed to be for their bodies. The door opens, and your heart skips a beat when you see behind it something that looks like that familiar lavender shade, but you realize that the color’s off. You remember when you called that color pink to her face, and how sternly she corrected you about it, though you can’t remember what color that she insisted her coat actually was. Not that that was very important now. “Oh, hey! It’s you!” Starlight greets you with an enthusiastic smile. “It’s great to see you! It’s been a while since we’ve caught up, hasn’t it?” “Hey, Starlight!” you give her a smile that you realize might look a bit too awkward. “It’s great to see you, too! And I’d love to catch up, but, uh, I was hoping to see Twilight, actually. Maybe after?” “Oh.” Starlight’s face falls into a frown. “I see. Well, as you know, she’s pretty busy these days, but maybe—” “Starlight?” A familiar voice calls out from behind her. “Who’s that at the door? It almost sounds like-” Twilight’s head pokes out from behind Starlight, a look of confusion on her face. That lasts for about a split-second as she looks at you and her pupils shrink. You hear an “Eep!” escape her, followed by a crack of magical energy and a flash of purple light. You and Starlight stare silently at the empty space that Twilight just occupied for a few moments. Starlight turns to you, an awkward smile now on her face, almost apologetic. “So… Uh, do you want to come in and catch up? Or…” “Of course!” you insist. “I said I’d love to, didn’t I?” You step into the foyer, the heavy door of the Castle of Friendship closing behind you with a thud that echoes down the long hall. You look down at the not-pink unicorn and give an apologetic smile of your own. “Wow, we really haven’t hung out very much recently, have we? Was walking you home from Maud’s cave the last time?” “Yeah, it was!” Starlight beams. “That was a nice moment, wasn’t it?” “It was!” you agree. “But that was when Rarity was away, wasn’t it?” You bite your lower lip, sucking in air through your teeth. “Ah, wow! Doesn’t that say a lot? We basically stopped hanging out once I started dating Rarity. I really feel bad about that!” “Oh, it happens! I hardly get to spend time with Trixie outside of work these days ever since she started dating Sunburst.” Starlight’s smile falters. “It’s just natural, you know?“ “Yeah, it happened with my friends a lot, too.” You frown. “But friendships shouldn’t be neglected for relationships, and I always thought I’d do better about that than they did. Kind of disappointed in myself, to be honest.” “Don’t be! You’re not any worse of a friend.” Starlight’s voice is reassuring. “You’re here now, we’re catching up. That’s what matters in the—” Another crack of magical energy interrupts her, as Twilight appears in the foyer again. She looks at you, and gives you the most awkward smile of all. Her eyes don’t quite make contact with yours, as if they are staring past your face. “I’m so sorry about how rude that was, you just startled me! But I really am just so busy with the move and the ceremony and all. In fact, I’m rushing out right now to meet Pinkie to help her with her fireworks planning.“ “That’s exactly why I’m here!” You beam. “Pinkie figured it all out last night and wanted me to tell you that she’ll be fine without your help.” “Oh.” Twilight blinks. “She did?” “Yep!” You nod. “Something about how Gummy understands the physics of the problem better than she does, anyway.” Twilight opens her mouth as if to object, but does not say anything. She closes her mouth, then opens it again. “That does sound like Pinkie doesn’t it?” She sighs. “I should have known!” “Hey, at least you have some time free in your schedule now. You know, for if you wanted to talk after all.” Twilight balks at that, and you notice Starlight reacting with a confused expression on her face. You quickly rush to say something. “Or, you know! I’m sure you’re busy with everything you have going on. Not every day you’re getting crowned as the ruler of your entire nation tomorrow, after all!” You force a chuckle. “Yeah, that’s right!” Twilight gives a nervous chuckle of her own. “Busy! Like, uh…” Her eyes dart around before fixing on something, and you turn and look to see a parcel being levitated in a purple aura. “Like this misdelivered package I have to return to the Post Office! Which I will have to leave the Castle to do, of course!” She looks up at you, a nervous smile on her face. “And, uh, after that I’ve got a ton of other things to prepare!” “Yeah, I get it! Not the best time to talk.” You shrug. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair, then. It was nice seeing you, Twilight.” You are about to turn for the door when you catch a glimpse of a crestfallen Starlight out of the corner of your eye, and realize what you just said. Before you can say anything, Twilight speaks. “No, wait. Don’t go. Starlight can take the package to the Post Office.” She turns to smile at the unicorn. “Right, Starlight?” “Huh?” Starlight furrows her brow. “I mean, that’ll only take you a few seconds if you teleport—” Starlight blinks. “Oh, right! I mean, yes, I can do take it to the Post Office. Which I will have to leave the Castle to do, of course!“ The package transfers from a purple aura to a teal one, and Starlight gives an awkward wave goodbye before slipping out of the castle door. When it closes with a thud, you turn to Twilight, who looks up at you with a frown. “Look, I’m really sorry. I know it looks like I’ve been avoiding you, and I guess I have, even though I always told myself that there was always some reason for me to be too busy to talk. And there was! I really do have way too much to get done! But it’s also true that if I really needed to, I could make time by letting my friends help me more. I don’t have to micromanage everything. I mean, sorry, I’m rambling.“ She sighs, averting her gaze to not make eye contact with you. “I guess with all the stress around tomorrow I just thought it would be easiest to put it off until, well, I didn’t need to deal with it anymore. But that’s not fair to you.” She turns to back to you, to actually make eye contact this time. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.“ “Yeah, you shouldn’t have…” You rub the back of your neck. “I mean, the same evening Rarity and I broke up? Like, that was really bad timing!“ Twilight’s gaze turns away again. “Yeah, it was. I’m so sorry, I should have known better.” “Oh, no! Like, I don’t want to make you feel guilty or anything! I mean—” You sigh. “I shouldn’t have said what I said to you then, either. I really regret that.” “You shouldn’t. I was the one who made things weird. You weren’t obligated to let me down gently.” “No. I mean, it’s not just that! It’s that, like, I’ve kinda been thinking about it since then, you know? And maybe if the whole thing had been, I dunno, less emotionally charged and later, I would have— Well, I wouldn’t have closed the door, at least.” Twilight looks up at you with confusion on her face. “What do you mean?” “I mean… Uh…” You frown, rubbing your neck. “Look, sorry, can I sit down or something? I feel awkward just looking down at you.” “Oh.” Twilight blinks. “Oh, you don’t have to do that! I could just…” She flaps her wings until she is hovering just high enough in the air for her eyes to be level with yours. You fail to hold back a goofy grin at the ridiculous sight of her flapping her wings just to stay in place. The grin is contagious, catching on Twilight’s face as well. “Ah, you really showed me up with that one, that first time!” You smile at the memory of the serious expression Twilight had on her face the first time she one-upped you in height. “I mean, you were acting like being taller than us ponies meant that you were better than us! Here, I’ll grab you a chaise.” “Hey, with the whole Celestia thing, it made sense to think that your society was ruled by some sort of height-based hierarchy!” Twilight rolls her eyes at you, and smiles. You sit down on the chaise that appears next to you, as Twilight lands back on the ground. She is perfectly eye-level. “So you wish you left the door open, huh?” “Yeah, I do.” “What made you change your mind?” “Oh, just thinking about things. Thinking about you.” You look into her eyes of bright violet, seeing the spark of hopeful anticipation in them. “I mean, I meant what I said back then. I didn’t see you in that way. Because you were the first pony I ever really got to know, you know? And you were the one to introduce me to so many things about Equestria.” You sigh. “You know what I was like at first.“ “Yeah! You were so mean and dismissive, even when you weren’t trying to be. Which is why I thought that you really needed friendship lessons. But you never took them seriously.” You cringe. “Oh, you could tell, huh?” “Yeah! I mean, I could tell you were trying to be polite and humoring me. But I could also tell you already knew everything I was going to say.” She frowns. “It was so strange that you could know all of that and still be such a bad friend!” “Well, I wasn’t trying to be! I mean…” “I know.” Twilight places a wing on your shoulder, and you swear that you can feel how soft her feathers are through the denim. “You were new to this world. You didn’t know how long you’d be stuck here.” “Yeah! Like, I didn’t even consider I could see any of you horses that way until I met Rarity.” Twilight shifts back a bit, the corners of her mouth drawing back, and you wince at what that must have sounded like. “I mean, she reminded me a lot of my ex, you know? And, uh, I guess things ended with her for similar reasons. Very similar reasons, actually.” You frown. “And I guess that I’d been chasing that second chance at something from my past, instead of moving on and realizing what was actually good for me.” “Good for you?” Twilight raises an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you realized that I’m ‘good for you’?” “Well, yeah! Like, I don’t know! When I think about us, it’s just nice when we hang out, you know? And when you get excited about something, it’s something I understand like some obscure history book or a new method to organize bookshelves.” You sigh. “It’s about time that I admit to myself that I’m not cool. I’m a huge dork, and dating a cool person or pony or whatever is just going to stress me out instead of making me happy. So yeah, you’re good for me! Because you are the biggest and most earnest dork in existence, and I think that is absolutely wonderful.“ Twilight rolls her eyes and smiles. “I’ll ignore the insult. And I’m not sure why you ever thought you were cool! The only reason you ever seemed to have was how you refuse to wear dresses.” “That’s kinda enough, back where I’m from.” You grin sheepishly. “But yeah, different gender dynamics here. And that’s really wonderful, too.” You look into each other’s eyes in silence for a few moments, a sense of something filling the air. Then, wordlessly, Twilight climbs up onto the chaise next to you, sitting down with her forelegs in front of her. Wordlessly, you take both her forehooves into your hands. You brace yourself for the least cool thing you will ever say in your life. “In a way, you are Equestria for me. How your earnestness isn’t naïveté, because it works here. How in everything you’ve gone through, you embody all of Equestria’s hope and kindness and goodness. Everything wonderful about this place. Everything that tells me there is nopony in this country better suited to run it.“ You feel a warm tingle around the back of your hands, as Twilight uses her magic to squeeze them. “You’re Equestria for me, too. Because you see it through your eyes. I see how you cherish so many things that I would never notice because I grew up here. You are a reminder of everything worth protecting about this place.“ She draws her face closer to yours, until you can feel her exhales on the skin of your lips. “You make me feel like no matter what happens tomorrow, everything is going to be okay.” You press your mouth against her soft lips, open and inviting. There are no sparks of passion; no torrents of emotion ; no splashes of vivid color. Just a sense of comfort and warmth, as if you were returning home from a long journey abroad. It feels right.