The Pony Naming Scheme

by Fat Equestria Theory

First published

Ponies get together to discuss their names. (G4/G5 seperate)

Flurry's 4th birthday is coming up, as the Main 6 visits the Crystal Empire to celebrate her birthday. Flurry wonders how she got her name, and if she could change it.

Meanwhile... No, I mean, hundreds of years later, the Main 5 takes a tour of the rebuilt lighthouse.

Pipp didn't make the characters list, because of the 5 character limit.

Chapter 1

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MLP: FiM


Twilight, and Spike the Brave and Glorious, were invited to Flurry Heart’s 4th birthday; her friends are also coming, but they were with the princesses on the next train. The royal celebration was proceeding just as well as the usual: broken windows and burnt walls, certain gifts ruined, all due to Flurry’s unstable magic. Blissfully ignorant of the detrimental effects of her magic, Flurry greeted the pair by blasting the door off its hinges. Mom would just get a new one!

Twilight yelped in surprise as she leapt right onto Spike. Stepping on the now hardening scales, Twilight let out a grunt of pain.

“Auntie, are you ok?”

Twilight cast a spell, to reply “I’m fine. Happy 4th Birthday!”

“Thanks, Auntie Twilight!” Twilight was looking around in search of something, Flurry answered that “Mommy is making dinner with Daddy!”

That’ll end badly. Probably worse than Sweetie Belle. “Oh no.” was the only thing Twilight could mutter before she scrambled to get in the kitchen.

“But today’s MY birthday! I’m supposed to have all the attention!” Flurry pouted at no one in particular.


After the exchange of greetings, the ponies began having their barely salvaged food. However, a question was on Flurry Heart’s mind.

“Mom, why am I called Flurry Heart? Hearts don’t swirl.”

“We chose the name because… because… well, it was the only one I could think of!” Cadence answered.

“I had better ones, you just didn’t like them!” Shining Armor crossed his forehooves.

“Do say.” mused Cadence.

“Um, well, for example, like, … I got nothing.”

The whole table giggled as Shining groaned.

“Auntie, do you know why?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “Perhaps your name means that ponies looking at you will get atrial flutter, a type of arrhythmia or heart flurry - “

Everypony stared at Twilight. Twilight blinked, before stuffing both hooves into her mouth. Celestia and Luna were particularly disturbed, understanding the implications. “Please don’t Twilight on us, Auntie!” Flurry said.

“You’re using it too?!” Twilight exclaimed, “Anyways, I was saying your name implies you will make people’s hearts flurry, finding your appearance attractive. Especially your parents. I had no hoof in choosing it though.”

Meanwhile, Night Light and Twilight Velvet were discussing something in a hushed voice. Applejack, sitting beside, decided to join in. “Howdy, what are y’all talkin’ bout?”

“We were just thinking about how we came up with Twilight’s name. When she was still in my womb, the name just came to us naturally. What surprised us is that these names are surprisingly accurate. Applejack hammers apple trees, Fluttershy is shy and flutters on, Rarity uses gems in her works, Pinkie Pie makes great pies, and Rainbow Dash has a dashing rainbow mane, I’ll say.”

“Hey, I’m not ‘fashionable’! Blech!” Rainbow overheard the conversation from the other side.

“Princess, have ya got any idea why names are accurate?” Applejack asked Celestia, who was in the next seat; not using a hushed voice, the conversation Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were having about Pinkie-normal topics ended.

“Narrative Causality, duh!” Pinkie Pie was first to answer, as Celestia frowned. “Wait, was I not supposed to say that? Oops! I said nothing!”

“The naming of a foal is usually by their parents, who are the ponies that know their foal best. Also, a pony’s name can cause social pressures if they end up being different.” Celestia explained. “The magic of harmony strengthens this connection, such that our names can represent more than what noise we make to get somepony’s attention.”

“Um, Princess, do ponies ever change their names?” Fluttershy asked.

“Why art thou to cwiddian with a sole Princess? We ascian thee-” Luna cleared her throat, “Why does everypony ask sister?”

Nopony answered.

“Mom, can we get the cake now?” Flurry asked.

“Oooooh! Cake!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Yes, dear.” Cadence levitated flurry onto her back and trotted into the kitchen.

“Oooooh! A doozy!” Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense activated at something; Fluttershy decided to cuddle behind Rainbow Dash as both blushed furiously at the contact.

“That’s not it…”

The candles around extinguished before Cadence levitated a cake with a large number 4 candle on top. The ponies gathered around and started singing Happy Birthday, while Flurry made her silent wish.

Flurry tried to blow out the candle. The flame stuttered, but it didn’t go out.

Flurry Heart tried again; this time, the flame didn’t move at all, despite the presence of airflow.

“Mom, why isn’t this candle going out?”

Luna felt a tingle behind her. She knew what Flurry had wished for: her dominance over the stars relates to names. Ponies looked up to the sky to find what they should name their child. The stars’ alignment also reveals the deepest desires of everypony, the reason that names are surprisingly accurate.

How her magic over names remain untampered over the past millennia remained a mystery; “Narrative Causality” may be an explanation.

“What you wished for is what I cannot do.” Everypony silently congratulated Luna for not defaulting to Old Equish.

“Auntie Luna, you heard my wish?”

“Yes, Flurry. Sadly, thy wish is impossible to grant: It is simply disallowed by the rules we must obey.”

“But Auntie!”

“Fine, we will try.”

The flame went out. So did many levitated objects, and a few pegasi.


MLP: A New Generation


Many moons have passed since the rule of the Two Sisters. After uniting the pony tribes, Sunny gathered everypony in the newly rebuilt lighthouse. Having overseen the construction herself, Sunny made sure every detail was exact.

“Sunny and I were really good friends back then when we were still going to school. Every afternoon, we would come and play with her toys on the tower, right here.” Hitch acted like an enthusiastic tour guide, for Sunny’s lighthouse!

“Y’know, Hitch, it’s not your lighthouse.”

“Yeah, Sunny, but at least you don’t have to sit in prison for two years for all those laws you broke.”

“But look at where we are now! Is uniting the pony tribes something I should sit in jail for? Laws are meant to be challenged, Hitch.” Sunny replied.

“If laws are meant to be challenged, why do laws exist in the first place?” Hitch asked.

“Because some hare-brained pony like Sprout came up with them to control everypony!” Sunny replied, still quite bothered by how Sprout destroyed the original lighthouse. Her dad’s lighthouse.

Pipp, stood on Hitch’s side, while Zipp and Izzy inched closer to Sunny.

“Fine, you win this time.” Hitch groaned, “Why did Phyllis name her colt Sprout, anyway? Like a sprout of weed, taking over the whole garden?”

Pipp groaned at the image, while Izzy decided to join in. “Hitch, does your name mean one of us is gonna get hitched? Or hitch your wagon to the Starscout?”

Hitch’s cheeks turned a rose-red from both being embarrassed and disturbed, “U-um, no? I’d never do such a thing!”

“Hah, you’re totally into somepony. Who’s the lucky mare?”

This time, Pipp interjected. “Izzy, ponies like to keep their love life private. Especially famous ponies and Hitch is a popular sheriff any day.” She sighed, “I don’t know if there’ll be anything left when I get back to Zephyr Heights. Everypony probably hates me by now. Ugh!”

Pipp flailed her hoof. Zipp got the short end of the stick. “What the hay!”

Hitch, a bit flustered still, decided it was time to take ‘revenge’ on Izzy. Whispering to sunny, he asked for something. Meanwhile, Izzy danced in circles around everypony. “Izzy… Alicorn’s oath? What?” Hitch interjected.
“Oh, I think Spirit Whirl was one of my ancestors…”

“Spirit Whirl? Dad’s notes never said anything about an alicorn with that name! There’s only Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Twilight Sparkle, Flurry Heart, and perhaps Luster Dawn.” Sunny was the first to react.

“Maybe somepony changed their name. No idea how, in the stories, Argyle told you, every name is so accurate. Are these names given posthumously?” Zipp suggested.

“Dad found out that names can’t be changed until much recently! And they aren’t just “stories”! Dad was right about everypony being together once upon a time, why would he be wrong about such a small thing?” After the recent adventure, Sunny had believed more firmly in the research Argyle did.

“Hold on. Your dad’s name means a knitting pattern with diamonds. Is that why he made beautiful toys with diamonds?”

Pipp walked over the elevator down again, screaming before landing safely below. “Why was my phone on record? Ugh. Now I have to delete the video.”

“Pipp, can you grab my journal, please?” Sunny shouted from above.

After a short discussion on the proper hoof and wing care, Pipp returned with the book.

“Careful! Don’t hold it like that, you can drop it!”

Izzy tapped her horn and look at Sunny.

“Oh wait, yeah, magic, I forgot. But let’s still be careful, okay? I don’t wanna risk it.”

Sunny was handed the book, as she began searching through the pages. “Spirit Whirl, a proposed rename of Flurry Heart after her 4th birthday. However, this event coincides with the projected Loss of Magic, due to the war that was fought 10 years after Luna’s return; not feasible.”

But what happened is unfeasible as it sounds.