Craving Closeness
The sun was shining as brightly as ever, setting polished pathways and golden arches aglow with its touch. Enormous clouds piled in the azure sky like puffy white mountains. Comfortable warmth graced the city, though far from the temperature that would cause somepony to break a sweat. It was weather anypony dreamt of experiencing, a day nopony would dare miss out on--nopony, except for Princess Pipp Petals.
Her portly pink figure was sprawled on her bed, in a room that boasted red carpeted flooring, marble walls, and lavish gold trim wherever possible. The frame of her bed, the handles to her drawers, the hangers on her clothing rack? All gold, just like her very own hooves, which were currently busied with the mobile phone she held above her face. One hoof was fixed in the slot on the back, and the other was swiping up and down the LCD screen. The corners of Pipp's mouth burrowed into her chubby cheeks as she smiled, admiring all the adoration and support ponies gave her in the form of likes and comments.
"Pipp."
The gritty voice of her sister surprised her and she was broken from her daze, losing her grip on her phone. It painfully smacked into her snout and bounced off, landing face-down on the blankets next to her.
"Ow!" Pipp sat upright, rubbing her sore nose as her eyebrows were knit together by newfound indignance. "Don't sneak up on me like that, Zipp."
The willowy white pegasus was leaning on the doorframe with her shoulder, forelegs crossed. "I wasn't sneaking. You just weren't paying attention." She slowly strode into the room, glancing around with semi-closed eyes that simply poured disinterest. "I came to tell you that mom's busy, so it's your turn to take Cloudpuff for a walk.
Pipp clicked her tongue and rolled onto her belly, unintentionally tousling her wavy violet mane in the process. She buried her muzzle in her feather-stuffed pillow and mumbled, "I don't want to go out."
She heard the subtle thumping of hooves against carpet as Zipp approached further. "Why not? It'll do you some good. Just look at how dull your coat is!"
Pipp freed her face from the confines of her pillow and glared up at her older sister. "How dare you! I'm busy and I've got fans to please."
Zipp looked into Pipp's eyes. Lime-green irises glowered out from darkened, crinkled lids. "And just look at your eyes. You stare at that screen too much. You're addicted--"
"Quit it, Zipp!" The younger pegasus snatched her gaze away, reaching for her phone and proceeding to prop it up on her pillow. As she resumed her journey through her social media feed, she muttered, "You disappear half the time and only come back to lecture me."
One of Zipp's ears twitched. When she opened her mouth, her tone was startlingly sullen, contrary to the bitter edge Pipp was expecting. "Fine. I'll walk Cloudpuff myself."
Head drooping, Zipp exited the room. Pipp grit her teeth until her jaw ached, the tiny pixelated letters becoming nothing more than a blur as she thoughtlessly scrolled onwards. Her mind was buzzing with far too much frustration to absorb any of the words that breezed by. Finally an exasperated groan escaped her throat and she sat up, also taking the time to brush some stray strands of violet mane out of her face. She ought to take a new selfie; receiving some fresh comments would surely make her feel better.
She held out her phone and aimed the camera at an insincere smile she forced across her face. She spread out her wings, ensuring her soft, downy feathers would be visible in the photo. She focused her gaze on the eye contact detector above the screen, which triggered the shot with a faint clicking noise.
Pipp retracted her foreleg, bringing the phone close to her face again. She checked the photo for a couple of seconds before setting about posting it to Wingstagram. She pursed her lips as she thought about what caption to include.
PrincessPetals: just chilling indoors today and feeling great!
Short and sweet. She tapped the upload button.
Being a princess, a pop star, and an influencer all rolled into one, she barely had time to blink before hundreds of notifications came flooding in. She allowed herself a smile, a small but genuine one this time. As the number next to the heart symbol continued to skyrocket, she felt her heart soar higher with each piece of praise left below her post.
Thunder36: OMG, flawless as always!
star_catcher: When are you releasing more music?? can't wait! :D
pippsbiggestfan: Are you single? lol
heartthrob777: I wish I could be as pretty as you!
Pipp felt a cool breeze wash over her soul, numbing any prior anger that had burnt within. Ponies loved her. That was all that mattered; it didn't matter what her sister thought of her. Still, her contented expression faltered slightly as she was reminded of the fact that she didn't have anyone she could really talk to. She loved her fans, but the truth of the matter was that they were all total strangers. If she tried to befriend any one of them, wouldn't it be unfair to her other supporters?
She rarely checked her private messages, but she took the leap today. She glimpsed over the messages she had been sent over the past few minutes, most of which were of the basic "Hi" and "I'm a huge fan!" variety. She just wanted a peek; she wasn't planning on replying to anypony. Then a longer bundle of text caught her eye. Curiosity quickly won a battle against her better judgment, and so she tapped the message and began to read.
pippsqueak4ever: Hi, I've been a big fan of yours for a long time. :) I noticed that you didn't seem your usual self in your newest photo, maybe it's just my imagination but I wanted to see how you were doing? I know you don't know me but I'm here for you if you need to talk. Your music has helped me through some tough times, so I just want you to be happy. Have a great day!
Pipp read over the message a few times, surprised to feel tears pricking at her eyes. Here was a pony who had taken the time out of their day to send her a detailed message--or at least, detailed compared to the usual tripe that bloated her inbox. Somepony actually cared about her. Not just her face, not just her music, but her. Who was she to ignore such a kind fan? Blinking back her emotion, she drew in a deep breath through her nostrils and began to type a response.
PrincessPetals: hey thanks for checking in on me! yeah im not feeling too great right now. surprised you noticed. my sister doesn't get me at all!
Moments later, three small dots cycled on the screen as the other pony typed their response.
pippsqueak4ever: Oh wow really? I never had a sibling so I can't relate haha. Sorry to hear that though, must be a pain :(
PrincessPetals: it sure is! its like she cant stand to be around me or my mom, so she runs off whenever she can......don't tell anypony i said that though.
pippsqueak4ever: Your secret's safe with me. ;) Maybe talking will help you get your mind off of it? What kind of movies do you like?
PrincessPetals: ummm i like drama movies mostly!! sometimes romance but it depends lol. whats your name btw??
pippsqueak4ever: Really? Me too. Well, that and horror movies hahaha. You can call me Chicory.
The conversation flowed comfortably and naturally, like a river on a warm Spring day. Pipp's smile grew wide, joy sparking in her eyes as she fell at ease with the concept of chatting with one of her fans. The guilt of giving somepony special treatment did poke at her conscience, but she whisked the feeling away on the notion that she was simply returning kindness to a pony who had extended a hoof to her.
They chatted intermittently throughout the day, about thoughts and feelings and hobbies and dreams--the kinds of things Pipp rarely had the opportunity to talk about with anypony. Online, she had to appear bubbly and unbiased at all times. In the real world, Queen Haven had a strict schedule and Zipp barely tolerated her existence. And Heaven forbid she be seen in public, lest she be mobbed by paparazzi and over-eager fans. Talking over the internet, with somepony who treated her as an equal, was just the miraculous mood booster she needed.
During supper that night, Pipp's feathers were fluttering with glee and a smile could be seen gracing her features in between bites of lentil bolognese. Sitting at the other end of the dinner table, Zipp was staring at her with one eyebrow raised.
"What's gotten you in such a good mood?"
Pipp pondered whether to tell her family she had made a friend, or keep it a secret. As she gulped down another mouthful of lentils and spaghetti, she settled on the latter. "Nothing special. I'm allowed to be happy, you know."
"But earlier you--" Zipp snorted and rolled her head to one side. "Nevermind."
"Girls," Queen Haven interjected with a warning tone from where she sat between the sisters. "You're both my sweet precious angels but there will be no fighting among you two, least of all at dinner. Okay?"
"Heard you loud and clear," Zipp muttered.
Pipp opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly her whole body vibrated as a notification set her phone abuzz. She reached under her wing where the phone was tucked, and smiled wide when she saw that Chicory had sent her another message.
pippsqueak4ever: Hey again! I'm working on a surprise for you, something to cheer you up. But I needed to ask you for a favor if that's OK?
PrincessPetals: omg you're too sweet! yea i'll be happy to help you but im eating rn so it will have to wait untill after dinner!
Zipp exuded a sharp, short, exasperated sigh as Pipp continued to tap away on her phone all throughout dinner.
PrincessPetals: soooo what did you need to ask me about?
Pipp was lying on her side with one leg dangling over the edge of her bed, swinging it idly while she anticipated Chicory's response. She had managed to get out of washing the dishes, much to Zipp's chagrin--the white pegasus would have to perform the chore by herself while their mother attended a meeting. It served her right for the way she had treated Pipp earlier in the day, anyway!
She was yanked out of her thoughts when her phone dinged with Chicory's reply.
pippsqueak4ever: I hope this doesn't ruin the surprise, but I'm painting a picture of you. I need good reference photos so I can get your body type right, so I was wondering if you could take a few for me? One of your front, one of your hindquarters, one of your left side, and one of your right side.
PrincessPetals: of course! im excited tto see the finished painting!!
Pipp hopped out of her bed and trotted over to her desk. She went to work taking each photo, which involved setting a snapshot timer and carefully positioning her phone on her desk as she posed at the requested angles. She saved the hindquarter photo for last. She knew it wasn't weird or anything; it was just for artistic purposes, right? Yet, discomfort wormed its way into her stomach as she stood facing away from the phone lens.
As soon as she heard the indicative click, she whipped around so that her rear end was no longer presented to the camera. She picked up her phone and made her way to her bed again, flopping down and reclining on her pillow as she began to send each photo to Chicory. She mentally shooed away any misgivings that continually tried to pop up like gophers in her mind. Everything was fine. Everything was normal.
The next day, after her morning livestream, Chicory sent a message.
pippsqueak4ever: Hi again! Thanks for the photos. I finished the painting, so let me know what you think!
Attached was a photo of a gorgeous canvas painting coated in intricate strokes of pink and purple and blue. Pipp's mouth dropped open as she gazed at the picture in awe. It was a simple scene of herself hovering in the sky, but the shading and perspective were so expertly executed, she thought it a crime that the painting was not hanging up in a museum right that moment.
PrincessPetals: holy feathers, that is so professional! i love it so much!!! <3
pippsqueak4ever: I worked on it all night and morning. Aren't you going to thank me?
PrincessPetals: OOPS sorry... thank you sm!!
pippsqueak4ever: I mean, you could always thank me with a photo.
PrincessPetals: photo?
pippsqueak4ever: Yes... one of the underside of your hooves will do nicely.
Pipp felt her heart drop, just a little. It was as if gravity had suddenly gained the ability to tug her heart down from her chest. Then she shut her eyes, filling her lungs with a large helping of oxygen as she calmed herself, pulling her heart back to its rightful place.
PrincessPetals: i'll think about it haha!!
She switched off her phone and dumped it on her bed. It was an innocent request, wasn't it? They were just hooves. But why did he want to see them? Why was apprehension dripping down her forehead in the form of cold, salty sweat? How come her heart seemed to flutter and lurch with every beat? She rapidly shook her head as if jostling her brain could knock all these anxieties straight out of her.
She couldn't face this alone. She would have to ask for advice. But from whom?
Her vocal chords vibrated with an inward groan. She cantered towards Zipp's room, her hocks feeling as if they were rusted over as she stiffly moved her legs. She prayed with all her might that Zipp was actually home, but she wasn't sure whether she actually wanted her prayers to come true or not. Would her sister even understand, or would she just make a mockery of her?
Pipp held her breath and crept through Zipp's doorway like a nervous puppy; her head held lower than her shoulders, and her ears drooping. There was a subtle sigh as she began breathing again, oddly relieved to see her sister lounging in her beanbag with earbuds on. A catchy, passionate rock tune could just barely be heard spilling from the earbuds.
Pipp's ears perked up. "Zipp, you're here! I need to ask you something..."
Zipp glared at her as she approached, her bright blue eyes stabbing her like icicles.
Pipp slowed, stopping a wing-length away from her. "I know you're busy but..."
"Can't hear you." Zipp's mouth became a firm line as she looked pointedly away.
The pitch of Pipp's voice soared with desperation. "Please, I really need some help! I--"
Zipp yanked out her earbuds and was on all four hooves in an instant, causing Pipp to reel back. The older pegasus snorted out through her nostrils.
"Why should I help you? All you do is sing and livestream and stare at your phone. You never help me with anything, so why don't you sort things out YOURSELF instead of lazing about all day!?"
Zipp whizzed past her, leaving the younger pegasus trembling, her throat clenching. Pipp wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to break something. Instead, she slowly trailed back to her room, her face scrunched up as she restrained a sob. Fury hotly bubbled up inside her chest, only to be pushed down again by the weight of despair. She should have known better than to rely on her sister. Chicory was the only pony she could trust.
After retreating to her room, she kicked the door shut and slowly trudged over to the bed, her hooves feeling as if they were made of sticky sludge that wanted nothing more than to meld with the floor. She flopped onto her mattress and the inner springs caused her to lightly bounce before settling into stillness. With her lower lip poking out in a pout, she reluctantly reached for her phone.
PrincessPetals: sorry for the wait... i had a fight with my sister. well not really a fight, more like just her yelling at me.
pippsqueak4ever: Aw, you don't deserve that. Is there anything I can do to help?
PrincessPetals: idk... thanks for asking though :(
pippsqueak4ever: Now about those hooves... Can I see them? Please?
PrincessPetals: oh........... yeah sure ig
Pipp soon found herself taking photos of the bottoms of her hooves. She disregarded the queasy feeling tickling at her stomach--a feeling that reminded her of the way she had felt after she once bit into a worm-filled apple. Chicory had done a lot for her, so this was the least she could do. She owed it to him, didn't she?
She sent the photos.
He did not ask for any more photos after that. Their conversations were the same as they had always been. For the following week, things seemed to have returned to normal--save for the fact that Zipp was taking all the necessary steps to avoid talking to or making eye contact with her whatsoever. Zipp even started eating dinner in her room, and Queen Haven reluctantly let her--albeit not before the two of them engaged in a heated argument.
It did not feel nice at all. But at least she had one pony in the world she could always count on; a pony who would never betray her or intentionally hurt her in the ways Zipp did. Pipp would confide in Chicory, and Chicory would comfort Pipp. Any budding fears she'd had about him were pulled up like weeds. He was a good pony, and a good friend.
Yet, after that week had passed, she would be sent spiraling down a pit of uncertainty once more.
pippsqueak4ever: Hope you're doing good today! I painted another picture of you. Wanna see?
PrincessPetals: do you even have to ask?? ofc!!!!
Without another word, he sent an image.
A few seconds later, it loaded in.
Pipp's initial excitement caved in, crushed by feelings of shock, horror, revulsion, and every other emotion nopony should induce on their friend. Cold and slimy disgust thrashed about inside of her, and her vision blurred slightly. She felt her head going numb. She could not move, and she did not know what to think or how she was expected to feel. Her foreleg was as stiff as wood but it still quivered as it hovered a few inches above her phone screen. She was clueless as to how much time had passed before she finally remembered how to function. She swallowed, and it felt as if she was gulping down a medium-sized rock.
PrincessPetals: w. why did you draw me like that?? you didn't warn me!!
pippsqueak4ever: Sorry, but I love you so much that I just had to paint this!
Another emotion joined the whirlpool of unpleasant sensations raging inside of her: Anger.
PrincessPetals: love............. LOVE??? how can you say you love me and then draw me like that without even caring how i might feel about it? you don't love me!! you used me as an object to fuel your selfish desires!!
Her lower eyelids filled up with hot tears. She glared at her phone as she hunched on her bed, waiting for Chicory to finish typing his response, yet not looking forward to it in the least.
pippsqueak4ever: Do you realize how crazy you sound? It's just a painting and I did it to showcase my love for you. Besides, you're famous, and hundreds of ponies probably draw you like this anyway. You're a celebrity so you just gotta get used to it.
Pipp grit her teeth hard enough to where she felt as if they might crack. She swung her foreleg back so swiftly, there was a twinge of pain in her shoulder, and then she hurled her phone at the wall. There was a loud smack as it collided with the solid marble, before dropping to the floor like a rock in a lake. Pipp had a fleeting fear that she had broken it, but promptly surmised that it did not matter at all. Nothing mattered.
She twisted herself up in the blankets and submerged her face in her pillow, so tightly that her nostrils barely found oxygen to pull into her lungs. Did all her fans have zero regard for her feelings? Was this what all friends were like? Why should she ever sing or livestream to such undeserving ponies? Then she was unexpectedly swathed in guilt. It was horrible of her to have such negative thoughts about her supporters. And maybe Chicory was right. He always seemed genuine and well-meaning before. Perhaps she was crazy.
It was all too confusing. Pipp screamed into her pillow. The deep, hollow groan seared her throat, and yet it was unheard by anypony besides herself. She remained there for a while, her heartbeat throbbing in her ears with her pillow wrapped around the front of her head. Her face became hot. Her mouth grew dry. Eventually she peeled her face from the pillow, cheeks reddened, and a few frazzled locks of her mane sticking to the dampness that had formed in the fabric due to her humid breaths.
She wanted to get away from it all, even if only for a little while. So, she willed her body to get out of bed and take her to the washroom. A nice warm bath always helped her feel better. Once there, she began to run the bath, periodically passing her foreleg under the gush of water to test the temperature. As she waited for the golden clawfoot tub to fill, she trotted over to a shelf where she kept a collection of bath bombs. She looked over them, pondering which one to use. Banana Berry Blast? Choco-mallow Dreams? Cotton Candy Explosion? Opting for a more subtle scent, she picked Sweetpea Reverie.
She plopped the bath bomb into the tub. Her ears pricked as the fragrant orb began to fizzle away, sending lavender hues swirling through the warm water. She then eased herself into the tub, sighing noiselessly as the water soaked comfortingly into her fur. Her nostrils flared at the airy, flowery scent the bath bomb released. She closed her eyes and imagined floating on a soft bed of clouds, and she almost forgot all that ailed her.
As her stress eroded with each ripple of water that lapped at her fur, she guessed that perhaps there was nothing to worry about after all. Chicory had hurt her feelings, but she shouldn't have lashed out at him. She would apologize. Chicory was a good pony, so he would forgive her. She would have her friend back.
After nearly an hour, Pipp returned to her bedroom with a clear mind. Her mane was swaddled in a towel and her hooves still glistened with moisture. She glanced around for her phone, before remembering she had thrown it at the wall. She slowly edged over to where it lay on the floor. Wincing with dread, she picked it up--and then her lips pursed with a sigh of relief upon seeing that it hadn't seemed to sustain any damage. She turned it on and opened up her Wingstagram messages. She would make things right.
PrincessPetals: hey.... :( i'm REALLY sorry for what i said earlier. i... i still dont like it but im sorry for acting crazy. friends?
pippsqueak4ever: Hmm... Not sure if I forgive you.
PrincessPetals: WHY??
pippsqueak4ever: I go out of my way to do all these nice things for you, listen to you complain all the time, and I even worked hard on some paintings for you, only for you to act like a total brat in return. I've always cared about you. Don't you care how I feel?
Pipp felt her throat drying up again, and her mouth opened slightly, her lower lip trembling.
PrincessPetals: i do care!! i....im sorry.. is there anything i can do for you??
pippsqueak4ever: I've done a lot for you, so I should get another photo, don't you think? THEN I will forgive you, so it all works out for both of us. :)
PrincessPetals: what photo do you want this time...
Chicory sent his response.
Pipp cried. It happened all at once; tears she hadn't even realized were forming suddenly spilled down her cheeks. She whimpered and whined like a lost foal in a mall. She couldn't handle this anymore. She couldn't! But she didn't want to lose her only friend...
Zipp wouldn't help her. Queen Haven was the only choice she had. How could she admit such a thing to her mother? But her heart was breaking, and she had nothing to lose. She put her phone away (not by throwing it this time) and let her towel drop to the floor, her mane still semi-damp. She bit down on her lower lip to stop it from wobbling and marched to her mom's room, hesitating for only a heartbeat before banging her hoof on the door.
"Who goes there? Have you forgotten I'm busy touching up my make-up!?" Queen Haven's muffled, disgruntled voice came from inside.
"It's me... Pipp," she squeaked. She could not be certain whether her mother actually heard her or not, but after a few moments, the door swung open.
Pipp caught a glimpse of disapproval on Queen Haven's face a millisecond before it melted into a puddle of love and concern for her daughter.
"Pipp! What's the matter?" With wide eyes, Queen Haven quickly ushered Pipp inside. The miserable little pony clambered onto her mother's bed and curled up into a ball like a kitten trying to protect itself from the wind and cold. Haven hurried to her side and tenderly brushed her mane. "Please, tell me at once!"
"I... The thing is..." Pipp could not face her, instead shoving her muzzle between her own forelegs. Her temples already throbbed with a headache from all the crying she had done, but she wasn't finished yet. Her built up sorrow bubbled forth and she was soon wracking with loud, dragged-out sobs. Haven stroked her continuously despite her own confusion and fret, striving to comfort her until she was coherent enough to explain what had happened.
Eventually Pipp gave a wet sniffle and began to speak in a hoarse voice, although she still refused to look up. "I made a friend online... He was nice and treated me well, but then he started acting weird and... asking for pictures..."
Queen Haven was silent for a few seconds as she regarded Pipp's words. "Pictures? You don't mean...?"
"Yes!" She choked on a sob that hitched in her windpipe.
Haven paused, also ceasing in petting Pipp's mane. "Did you send any?"
Pipp finally lifted her head, her visage a mess of sticky tears that had already dried, as well as fresh ones that rapidly tumbled down her cheeks. "I did! Only some, and they weren't that bad, but oh mom... Please don't get mad at me!"
Haven sat close to her and pulled her into a hug that was as affectionate as it was tight. "Pipp, darling, I'm not mad at you. None of this is your fault. You don't deserve anypony as horrid as that."
Pipp continued to weep into her mother's shoulder, her voice muffled. "B-but he was nice! And I just wanted a friend... I'm so lonely! I can't mingle in the city 'cause everypony would flip out! I would even befriend a unicorn or an earth pony if it meant I didn't have to be alone... I bet they wouldn't care how famous I am in Zephyr Heights!"
Haven had the urge to chide her for saying such a thing, but withheld it in favor of reassuring her. "Listen to me, darling. There will be no more hiding things. I don't want you to needlessly suffer from another burden like this ever again. Can you promise to tell me everything from now on?"
Haven felt Pipp's head move against her shoulder in a weak nod. "Okay, I promise..."
"Actually..."
Haven and Pipp both looked up abruptly at the sound of Zipp's voice. Neither of them had noticed her entering the room.
"Sorry, I heard somepony crying and wanted to know what was going on." Zipp cleared her throat and continued to speak. "Anyway, Pipp actually tried to talk to me about this before, but I... I ran off before she could explain." Pipp met her gaze, and instead of icicles, her eyes were soft, warm pools seemingly reflecting a blue summer sky. Never in her life had Pipp witnessed such a sympathetic look on Zipp's face--directed towards her, no less. "I'm sorry, Pipp."
A pair of pink ears twitched. Had she been hearing right? Was Zipp actually sorry? It was difficult to believe, but her expression matched her sorrowful words. Pipp broke free from Haven's embrace and began wiping at her tears with her hooves. "I forgive you, Zipp... but it's just... it's just...!"
Zipp padded over to Pipp and joined Queen Haven in hugging her, the youngest pegasus becoming enveloped by her family on both sides. Pipp's mind scrambled to recall the last time Zipp had hugged her, but came up blank.
Zipp whispered close to her ear, "I promise I will never abandon you again. Next time you need help, I'll be there for you, and I won't leave you behind..."
She and Haven remained that way for several minutes, cuddling and consoling Pipp as she shivered and wept. Slowly her woe waned, and during that moment in time, she felt like the safest and most loved pony in the world. Nopony, not even her thousands of fans, could ever be a substitute for the love and attention of the ponies she cherished most: her mother and, yes, even her sister.
When things were calm, Pipp murmured in an worn voice, "Do you think I will ever have friends?"
Zipp gave her a soft smile. "I'm sure you will one day. Don't give up just yet."
Queen Haven nodded solemnly. "Who knows what the future holds? For now, I'll see about uncovering the identity of the pony who harassed you and have them sent to the dungeons..."
From that day onwards, Pipp was a happier pony. Her relationship with her sister wasn't quite sunshine and rainbows yet, and the hours she spent on her phone hardly decreased, but at least they had grown to appreciate each other a little more. Pipp kept her promise that she would always tell her mother everything, and had faith that Zipp would keep her promise of never leaving her to suffer alone again. After coming to understand that not all her supporters were terrible ponies, Pipp started livestreaming far more often. She would not repeat the mistake of singling out one of her fans, but sharing as much of her life with them as possible helped her feel that much less alone in the world.
And maybe, just maybe, Pipp would one day find true friends.