In order to prevent the appearance of a great and terrible monster, Spike must do everything possible to ensure his and Rarity’s wedding day is a perfect one.
Spike always thought the hardest part was getting Rarity to say yes. Well it turns out that that was just the beginning. With dates to schedule, invitations to send out, venue reservations to make, dress preparations to complete, and new in-laws to deal with on top of his usual responsibilities, the princess’s number one advisor would’ve had enough on his plate without the fear of the legendary “Bridezilla” rearing it’s ugly head and leaving everything in ruins.
The only way to keep the mighty ender of marriages at bay is to make sure Rarity’s stress levels stays low, and if that means Spike will need to plan the whole thing by himself, then so be it.
The center of trade and culture with its multitudes of shops and specialty goods and sea ports, massive fashion district, and vast collection of theaters housing a great deal of award winning troupes and their shows along with the several art and history museums and tourist drawing landmarks, few could deny Manehattan’s majesty. Canterlot may have been Equestria’s capital, but the debate over which of the two metropolises was the true jewel in Equestria’s crown has raged on since Manehattan’s boom, and even once time has left the both of them ruined shells of their former selves, the survivors would no doubt continue to argue over which had left the more beautiful corpse.
Of course every town, big or small, has its detractions, and Manehattan was no exception. Living expenses, even in districts of a middling affluence, could be bankruptcy-inducingly high. Travel through the city could be excruciatingly slow as the streets were often packed with both tourists and natives, and the sudden improvised musicals that occasionally broke out rarely helped. Injuries from taxi collisions were unfortunately common, as were swindlers, pickpockets, and thieves on the prowl for an easy bit.
And then there was the rain. Not having any real farmland or produce to speak of outside of some small porch and community gardens, Manehattan’s leaders saw little need to invest in a well organized weather team. Rain was still a useful and convenient means for cleaning off the walls of the many buildings and in cooling off the city’s inhabitants during those mucky summer days, but such needs were sporadic. Thus, in theory, Manehattan only required a budget sized skeleton crew to prepare those few irregular showers.
In practice, it meant that the Manhattan weather team was often unstaffed, underpaid, and horribly disorganized. Requests from city hall could go weeks before being addressed, and there was little rhyme or reason to the decisions of when the rains would take place or how much rain would be received. Often the only warning the ponies of Manhattan would get before the torrential downpour were the growing shadows overhead mere minutes before the rain began, and more than one public event had to be called off due to an unforeseen storm.
Thankfully, that wasn’t quite the case for Spike and his dinner date, but it did mean that when he and Rarity did arrived at the agreed upon place at the agreed upon hour, the two had to enter one of Manehattan’s finest eateries soaked to the bone, their formal wear drenched and clinging tightly to them.
There was an apparent absence of sympathy shown by the stallion at the front podium, his own dress suit dry, as Spike and Rarity approached him, leaving drops of water behind them. “Yes?” the stallion said, his mustache curling slightly as he prolonged the single syllable.
Spike bit back his chuckle. As the princess’s royal advisor, he had had enough experience with the Canterlot elite to recognize a faked hoity-toity accent. He cleared his throat. “We have a reservation. Party for two, for Spike and Rarity.”
The dragon felt something tug at his arm and turned to find, to his mild but pleasant surprise, Rarity linking a front limb around his own. The elaborate weave her mane had been painstakingly styled in had become undone in the rain, leaving her mane flat and in uneven curls, the streaks of aged gray hidden within the tangles of violet still present and vibrant from her youth. The makeup around her eyes was running, leaving dark stains down her naturally white cheeks. All Spike focused on, however, was Rarity’s smile. It was a little worn but still retained its earlier cheeriness and radiance, and the sight restored some of Spike’s own that had been washed away with the rain, and in response, Spike smiled back.
“Hm.” The stallion glanced up from his ledger. “No, I’m afraid I can’t seem to find Spike and Rarity in here.”
Spike’s smile faltered as he turned back to the stallion. “It might be just under my name, Spike.”
“I have one for Spike the Dragon at seven? Party of two, with private orchestra reserved on the patio?”
“Yes, that’ll be me,” Spike said through his teeth, his smile now looking more forced. “Er, us.”
“I see. I am afraid that the patio has been closed for the evening due to rain. If you still wish to dine at this hour, we do have another table available.”
“Yeah, sure. Great, uh, yeah, great. We’ll take it.”
The stallion nod and gestured to the curtain behind him. “Through here, please. A waiter will be with you shortly to show you to your table. May we hold onto your coats whilst you dine with us?”
Spike shared a quick look with Rarity before nodding. “Yeah, sure,” he said as he placed his suit jacket into the waiting hooves of the stallion, taking a quick moment to stretch his wings, and Rarity’s silk shawl immediately followed, lifted by the magic of her horn. Underneath was a bright violet dress with a shorter skirt attached that would have been tastefully raised up over her haunch by multiple layers underneath had it not been for the rain.
“Thank you. You may pick these up at the front when you are done.” The stallion bowed his head. “Please, enjoy your meal.”
With one last acknowledging nod, Spike and Rarity pushed past the velvet curtains and stepped into the dining hall of the restaurant, and waiting for them was another sharply dressed gentlestallion. “Sir, madam,” the stallion greeted. “If you would follow me please.”
The plush carpet muffled any sound their steps would have made as they passed by the other diners, stallions in their dress shirts and mares in their gowns and the occasional griffon and changeling, the light of the tables’ candles beaming off their filled glasses and silverware and the gold of their jewelry. The soft songs of violins mingled with the private conversations of the guests, and on a raised platform in the very center of the room there was a bright white piano, its musician in a similarly colored suit playing away as a large chandelier of crystal sparkled overhead.
The table they were brought to was relative small, designed specifically to seat two, and was close to the restaurant’s center, near the piano and several other occupied tables. A pair of stools with plush cushions were waiting across from one another.
“Is something wrong, Spike?”
At Rarity’s question, Spike immediately replaced his frown with a grin. “It’s nothing, really. Just, it’s a little crowded.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was kind of hoping for, you know, something a little more private.”
“If sir wishes, I could reseat you and madam once a more accommodating spot is available,” their waiter offered. “However, as it may no longer coincide with your reserved time, there may be a rescheduling fee.”
“No, no, this is fine.” Spike immediately took a seat, which barely contained his larger form. “Yep, this is fine.”
“Very good sir,” said the waiter as Rarity sat as well. Menus quickly found their way in front of Rarity and Spike. “Our special today is a white sauce angel hair pasta with snow peas, yellow carrots, and southern herbs and comes with a side. I would recommend the honey glazed sweet potato cuts.”
“That does sound like quite the dish, but I would like to see this establishment‘s full repertoire.” Rarity cracked open her menu. “I have heard such wonderful reviews. Spike?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. We’ll need a few minutes.”
“Very good. Any beverages.”
“Sparkling water, please.”
“Same here. Oh, and can we also get a couple of glasses of this with the meal.” Spike lifted his menu and pointed a claw at one of the back contents.
“Ah, but of course. I see that sir has excellent taste.” The waiter nodded approvingly. “Exquisite and works well with just about anything. I’ll be back with your waters and bread shortly while you finish deciding.” And with a bow, the stallion walked off, leaving the two alone with each other.
“Excellent taste, hm?” Rarity smiled and leaned forward with her chin in her hooves. There was a ruby brooch around her neck, Spike noted, one that was quite familiar. “It’s been less than a month since we last saw each other. Have you truly matured that much in such a short time?”
“Hey, I’ve managed to pick up a few things from all those diplomatic summits,” Spike said in mock indignation. “Besides.” He leaned forward as well, his fangs flashing in a playfully wolfish smirk. “I’ve always had excellent taste, at least when it comes to mares.”
Rarity raised a hoof over her lips to hide her giggle. With a sigh, she reached into her purse and removed a pocket mirror and a packet of tissue papers. “So, Mr. Royal Advisor to the Princess,” she said as she wiped away the smeared makeup, “what’s the occasion?”
“What, can’t a dragon abuse his advisory authority to relocate and reschedule the defense board’s budgetary meeting to the same city his girlfriend’s store happens to be in around the same time as her annual review with her managers?”
Rarity snapped the mirror shut and returned it to her bag before giving Spike a dubious look. “Spikey, darling, please. How long have we know each other? I don’t think I’ve seen you this nervous since our first date as a couple.”
“I just, you know, missed you. I mean, letters are nice and all, but—“
A clearing of a throat interrupted Spike. The waiter had returned, and with him were a pair of glasses and a full pitcher as well as a basket of bread. “Your water,” the waiter announced as he poured the drinks and placed them before the two. “Are you ready to order?”
“Let’s see.” From her bag, Rarity pulled out a set of red spectacles and gave the menu another scan. “I’ll start with a garden salad with light vinegar, and for my main course I’ll have the baked zucchini dish with the roasted vegetable medley.”
“Very good madam. And you sir?”
“Er, let’s go with the mushroom risotto and the pasta special with stuffed peppers.”
“Very good sir. Your food shall be here momentarily.” The waiter bowed and once again retreated, but before they could continue their conversation, a quintet of tuxedoed musicians had taken the waiter’s place, armed with either a violin or a cello.
“There was some mention about a reserved orchestra at the front, wasn’t there?” Rarity noted, an eyebrow raised as the musicians started their first chords.
“Ha, yeah, yeah, I guess there was. I just, figured it might be nice to have some music while we ate, thought it might be a nice surprise,” said Spike with a weak laugh. “So uh, how was your review? Love your dress by the way, was it from there? A Rarity for You exclusive?”
“In a sense. I made some personal modifications for tonight. Nothing groundbreaking, but considering how little time you gave me to prepare, I can be forgiven for.” Rarity suddenly paused, and she regarded the musicians with slowly narrowing eyes.
“Ah!” Spike slammed his face into the palm of his claw and groaned. “Darn it. I thought told them to, ngh.”
“This, they played this at that one Grand Galloping Gala, the year before we got together. This was being played when you first asked me to dance.” Rarity looked to Spike who had stood up and was making slashing motions across the front of his neck at the musicians. The musicians paid him no heed as they continued to play. “Spike, what’s going on?”
Spike let out another groan as his flattened his face against his fists. A small puff of smoke escaped his nostrils as he huffed. “Well, I guess this is it. I tried to, I wanted them to play that at the very end, for when I did this.” Removing his claws from his face, Spike smoothed out his shirt, tried to straightened the green ridges that ran along the top of his head and his back, then lowered himself to a knee before Rarity. Even with him kneeling, the dragon still had to look down slightly to meet the unicorn’s gaze, a drastic reversal of their roles when they had first met each other so long ago.
“Rarity,” he said as Rarity’s hooves were brought over her mouth. “We’ve known each other for so long, but during these past few years together, you’ve made me the happiest creature in all of the world, and I can only hope that I’ve brought you even a small fraction of the happiness that you’ve given me. The prettiest gems in the mightiest dragon’s hoard couldn’t hold a candle to you.” Spike drew in a deep breath and reached to his side. “Rarity, would you do me the honor of.”
Spike froze. His eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. “Oh no.”
“What?” Rarity breathed, her chest heaving as tears visibly swelled in her eyes. “What is it?”
“I, uh, the ring. It was in my jacket.” Spike rubbed the back of his head as his face lit up, the heat of his embarrassment visible through his thick scales. “Um, so, this hasn’t gone at all the way I had planned, but I’m honestly about to lose my nerve here and, well, will you marry me?”
Rarity’s single worded answer was immediately followed by her launching herself out of her seat and into Spike’s arms. Before another word could be uttered, her lips locked with his, stealing away the dragon’s breath as she pressed further and further into an increasingly passionate kiss. The warmth of his mouth, from the fire in his breath to the burning of his saliva coated tongue, caused Rarity to blush as she continued to venture forward. She shut her eyes, leaving the world around her to be lost in the sensations of her newly acquired fiancé.
“Ahem.”
The clearing of a throat brought both she and Spike reluctantly back to reality. Their waiter had returned with their appetizers as well as a tinted bottle, two glass goblets, and a look of curiosity and slight disapproval. His eyes weren’t the only ones upon them as the musician had ceased their playing and many of their fellow patrons had turned away from their own meals and conversations to stare at the couple that had been so passionately embracing moments prior.
Spike, his face flushed red and with a crazed grin plastered upon it, turned to the waiter. “I, er, think we’ll take our food to go.”
“Very good sir, though I am afraid we will have to considered your reservation canceled without proper notice, and as such there will be a fee added to your bill.”
The two shared a quick look with each other, their eyes rolling before Spike made his response:
When the Ponyville day spa first opened for business, there were some who questioned the logic behind setting up such an indulgent luxury in a largely rural and at the time small town. That sort of pampering treatment was meant for them soft delicate city folk, not the tough and tumble farmers, proud descendants of pioneers who had survived and forcefully transformed the frontier into a livable home. Mud was meant to be beneath one’s hooves, not smeared over one’s face, and any cucumber slice that wasn’t being eaten was a cucumber slice being wasted. Surely there wasn’t enough of a market demand in Ponyville, and it would only be a matter of time before the business went under.
Well one reinstatement of a banished princess, a return of a neighboring empire, several invasions and insurgencies, and a complete transfer in governing power later, the day spa still had its place in Ponyville. With the establishment of the railway, more and more of those “city folk” were planting their roots in Ponyville in search of quieter, slower lives, and as it turned out, even the most boorish farmhand could appreciate a nice soak at the end of a long week of hard work. Stress went down, ponies were looking healthier, and mares now had a new place to peddle their gossip while the stallions discovered a new form of exercising their masculine dominance over one another in the form of who can stay in the sauna the longest.
These days, other species like griffons and adolescent dragons and even a yak or two, usually students of Ponyville’s famed school of friendship, would join the local ponies as patrons, and on occasion they might be even treated to the sight of the princess of Equestria having her hooves waxed and painted and in the company of five other mares and sometimes a relatively young dragon. It wasn’t a regular occurrence and not exactly something that Lotus and Aloe advertised, but it was common enough that Princess Twilight Sparkle had an appropriately sized bathrobe with the spa’s embroidered logo. Today happened to be such a day, the laughter of their group, carried by the porcelain walls of the hot tub, drawing the eyes and curiosities of the other spa goers as they wondered just what exclusive stories were being shared in that private little corner.
“He did what?” snorted the pegasus with the wild rainbow mane as she splashed in the pool’s water. “Seriously, he left the ring in his jacket?”
Twilight wiped off the excess water that had found its way to her snout before rolling her eyes. “Spike did have that bad habit of forgetting important details whenever he was trying a bit too hard.” The alicorn grinned ruefully at the memory of the young dragon standing before a packed colosseum, prepared to sing an anthem he had absolutely zero knowledge of. “I thought he had outgrown that habit. Guess it’s different when it comes to you, Rarity.”
“Oh! Oh!” The pink mare soaking beside Rainbow Dash struggled to stay afloat as she held her stomach. Every time she nearly went under, her fellow earth pony would grab hold of her neck and bring her back above water level. “Rarity, when I asked you how Spike proposed, I didn’t think it be this good.”
“Poor Spike.” Despite her sympathetic tone and the sad shake of her head, there still was an amused smile on Fluttershy’s face as the butter colored pegasus held back her own giggles. “And he did all that planning, he must have felt awful.”
“Aw, it can’t have been that bad,” said Applejack as she once again saved Pinkie Pie from drowning. She turned to Rarity. “You said yes after all. Honestly can’t believe Spike didn’t just blab about it to the whole world. Fella must have been over the moon.”
“Oh, he most certainly was.” There was a coyness in Rarity’s smile as she recalled the conclusion of that evening. She had omitted the bawdier details in her retelling.
“So what now?” Pinkie Pie asked, popping out of the water as she appeared right before Rarity. “Are you two moving in together? Taking each other’s names?” She gasped and leaned forward. “Having kids?”
The water weighed down Pinkie’s usually puffed up mane, leaving it straight and dripping and giving Pinkie, along with that crazy wide grin she had on, a frightfully deranged look as she forced Rarity against the wall. Gingerly, Rarity pushed Pinkie Pie’s face back away from hers.
“There are certainly some details that still need to be iron out. It would be nice to have a shared home we could call our own, though with how much travel our respective careers require at the moment, that might not be so feasible. In the future, perhaps, but for now I think we’ll be taking this a step at a time.”
“Well knowing the two of you romantics,” Applejack began with a smirk, “I reckon you’ll be wanting to throw one heck of wedding. You’ve got a date in mind yet?”
“Not quite, no. Obviously, the five of you will be invited.” Rarity motioned to the mares around her. “Of course, that means figuring out a good time that works for six very busy mares, that number including a ruling princess, plus one very active royal advisor and friendship ambassador to said princess.” She gave Twilight a knowing nod. “And we all know how difficult it already can be to arrange these once a moon meetings with our hectic schedules. Hm, though I suppose autumn colors might provide the best background for a white dress,” Rarity added under her breath.
“Hey, you really think we’d miss the wedding of two of our best friends?” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Look, just tell us when, and we’ll make all of Equestria move before we miss that date.”
The others nodded and murmured their agreement. “Ooh, do you need a wedding planner? Somepony to host the reception?” Pinkie squealed. “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to throw a wedding reception. Can I? Can I?”
“And if you need catering, well, you know me and the rest of Sweet Apple Acres are here for you,” piped in Applejack with a wave. “Course, er, if that future hubby of yours wants them gems he’s so fond of, might want to start digging now.”
More giggles. “I can always help with the music, that is, if you do need any help with that.” Fluttershy’s offer came with a bashful and hesitant smile. “My little friends always love performing, though if they don’t match the style you’re hoping for, I’m sure they’d understand.”
“Nonsense, darling.” Rarity set a hoof gently against Fluttershy’s shoulder. “No band could possibly match your songbirds. I would love to have you take care of the music.”
Fluttershy’s smile lost its uncertainty. “Oh, and I’m sure Discord would love to help too. He could—“
“No! I mean, ah.” Rarity tried to mask her grimace with a chuckle and a dismissive wave. “It just seems, a little excessive is all, to be using the infinite powers of chaos on a little old wedding. I really don’t think that’ll be necessary, really. But, ah, thank you.”
“And I guess that leaves the job of overseeing the preparations to me,” Twilight stated with a thoughtful tap on the chin. “It’s been a while since I personally managed an event like this, I wonder if the old clipboard still fits.”
“Twilight, I couldn’t possibly ask that of you,” Rarity gasped. “You have enough responsibilities ruling Equestria as it is. Just having you as a guest would be more than enough of an honor.”
“Hm, okay then. How would you feel about having the princess of Equestria officiate the wedding? It’s the least I can do for you and Spike.”
“Why, that would be—“
Before Rarity could finish expressing her appreciation, Rainbow made a sudden dash to Twilight and dug an elbow into her side. “That and maybe give lover boy a few weeks off for the honeymoon, eh?”
Rainbow’s comment incited another round of laughs that was punctuated by a sigh from the princess. “Spike really does deserve a break. Honestly, these meetups of ours are the closest things either of us have to a vacation. Speaking of Spike.” Twilight glanced around the room, looking to each of her friends until her gaze landed and stayed on Fluttershy. “I don’t suppose anypony has any idea of where Discord took him off to? Or when they’d be coming back?”
Shrugs and head shakes were all the answers that the alicorn received. Twilight let out another sigh as she let herself sink deeper into the warm pool.
*
It took Spike a few long blinks before both his sight and his immediate memory returned to him. The whole group had gotten together at the royal palace in Canterlot for their once a moon meeting. The usual salutations were expressed, some updates to their busy lives that hadn’t made it into their letters were shared, a few inquiries into each other’s businesses, then finally he and Rarity had stepped forward together to reveal the big news. The response was as excitedly cacophonous as the two had expected, with cheers and gasps and hoots and applauses as the the group gathered together into one crushing hug.
The moment was ruined by exaggerated weeping, which drew everyone’s attention to the chamber’s window. There they found the stained glass depiction of some strange and incongruous creature, as if it had been stitched together from the spare parts of other creatures. Blue glass tears spilled out from the draconequus’s equine face as it waved a polka dotted handkerchief, its fuzzy elongated body wiggling in the same motion as the cloth in its talon.
There was a sudden flash, and Discord, no longer a simple image of glass, now stood over them, showering them with tears as he forced himself into the embrace. He spoke, but his ceaseless blubbering made his words impossible to understand. Perhaps they had been a warning as he suddenly took hold of Spike, shoved him onto a skateboard, and blinded the room with yet another flash.
The last of the lights were banished from Spike’s eyes to reveal that the castle chamber had been replaced with a velvet red gaming parlor, with him seated at the counter of a high end bar. Among the card tables, spinning roulette wheels, and life sized cardboard cutouts of skeletal ponies in zoot suits and flapper dresses, Twilight, Rarity, and the rest of his friends could not been found. He heard something slide up to him and turned to find a strawberry milkshake before him on the counter. Before Spike could question the absence of a bartender, Discord plopped down in the seat next to him, holding a large burlap sack.
“So, marriage,” Discord sniffed. “Guess it was terminal. Well, you had a, well, I don’t know if I’d call it a good run, but, let’s settle on decent.”
“Um. Okay?” Spike, his brow raised, motioned to the room around him. “What’s this about?”
“What, can’t a guy throw his friend a bachelor’s party?” Discord crossed his forelimbs over his chest and pouted.
“Pretty sure the bachelor party’s supposed to happen right before the wedding.” Spike shook his head. “Learned that from experience. We don’t even have a date set. But, um, thanks I guess.”
Spike picked up his milkshake and started to take a sip when Discord’s fists suddenly slammed down on the counter in front of him. The glass fell over, spilling its contents all over the bar as Spike slammed a claw into his chest, his wings flaring out with each pound, his breaths coming out as gasping coughs.
“So, mister big-shot lover boy, thinks he’s too good to maintain a consistent O and O campaign,” Discord said, sneering. “And here I thought we were friends. Why am I the last to learn about you getting hitched?” He clasped his mismatched hands together, linking eagle talons with lion paw, over where one might assume his heart would be. “Is this really how you’re going to treat me, after everything we’ve been through?”
“You’re, not!” Spike managed to gasp out. “Gah, you’re not the last to know about it. Nopony knew except for me and Rarity until today.” The dragon brushed the spot of blended milk and strawberry ice cream off his front. “I even kept it from Twilight of all ponies. Sheesh.”
“Hmph. Well you could have at least asked me to help with the proposal.”
“Right, sure.” Spike rolled his eyes. “You mean how you helped with Big Mac’s? I had enough trouble without having to involve chaos magic.”
“I’m sorry, it sounds like you’re implying that it was my fault that that horribly mundane and utterly forgettable plan turned into the most impactful proposal Big McIntosh could have asked for. In which case, I take full credit, thank you very much. Why, I’d even say it’s the whole reason why that marriage still isn’t some withered, lifeless shell.” Discord reached into his bag. “Isn’t that right, Big Mac?”
As Discord’s claw withdrew from the bag, a large red stallion came out with it, held by the dirty old yoke attached to his back. The stallion blinked and rubbed his eyes. “Wha? What going on here?”
“Oh, nothing much,” said Discord as he placed the stallion on the bar stool next to him. “Just thought we’d get the gang together for old times sake. Spike’s getting married, you know,” the draconequus added in a loud, easily audible whisper. “And to Rarity of all ponies. Imagine that.”
“Oh.” A new milkshake, this time chocolate flavored, appeared before Big McIntosh as he turned to the dragon with a sheepish look. “Uh, congrats, Spike.”
“Thanks.”
A couple seconds passed away silently. The farmer’s jaw dropped, and his eyes grew wide. “Oh, Discord’s not joking! Well shucks, congratulations. Hadn’t realized you and Rarity were so serious.”
“Thanks again. Sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch. It’s just, you know.” Spike winced and sighed. “Busy.”
“Well not tonight you’re not.” Both Spike and Big McIntosh were nearly dragged off their seats as Discord hooked his arms around their necks. “Tonight’s guys night. No responsibilities, no worries, just a simple reminder of the good old times, before you add one more huge life changing thing to your life, leaving even less room in there for your old buddies.”
Spike turned away from Discord’s sad, whimpering expression and looked to Big McIntosh instead. “I guess a few hours can’t hurt.”
The stallion snorted loudly. “Not like we’ve got much choice. Don’t think I’d be able to get back to the farm on my own from here.”
“Excellent!” Discord released the two of them, sending them both onto the floor. “Now what to do first? Maybe a bit of Ogres and Oubliettes? Or how about some cards?” From a tuff of fur on his chest, Discord pulled out a deck of colorful playing cards and started to shuffle them. “Maybe place a wager for who here gets to be Spike’s best stallion,” he said, directing a provoking smirk at Big McIntosh.
“Geez, you keep acting like I’m getting married in the morning.” Spike shook his head as he and the others settled down at one of the nearby card tables. “Look, I just got engaged, relax. You’re starting to make me nervous.”
“Ain’t nothing wrong with some early planning.” Big McIntosh picked up his cards and regarded Spike with a lifted eyebrow. “You saying you never gave this any thought before?”
“Of course I have. In my dreams. It kind of hits harder now that it’s a reality, and I doubt we’ll be having the reception in an ice cream chapel or anything like that. That’s a joke by the way,” he quickly added with a hard stare at Discord. “But anyways, Rarity and I, we’re probably just going to take our time figuring this whole wedding business out, together.”
“Hm.” Discord shrugged as he laid out his hand, which consisted of multiple jokers and the symbol for pi. “As much as I hate the word, it makes, ugh, sense. Take your time, make sure everything’s perfect, keep your fiancé nice and happy. Happy bride, happy wedding, less chance of a messy divorce years down the road after the initial adrenaline wears off.” He started to draw a new set of cards, deliberately and slowly pulling each individual one out from the deck’s middle. “Of course, keep piling on delays and you’re practically begging for Bridezilla to come stomping around.”
Spike squinted at his own cards, one of which had the recipe for chocolate mousse with the picture of a moose made of chocolate. “What are we even playing here? And bride what now?”
“You know, Bridezilla.” Discord snapped his fingers together, and the cards vanished. A projector now sat on the table, shining a light upon a lecturer’s screen. Discord, who was now wearing a tweed jacket and a pair of paper glasses with red and blue lens, squeezed the rubber cat toy in his hand, causing the fake mouse to make a clicking sound. The stylized image of a nondescript mare in a stereotypical wedding dress appeared on the screen.
“Mare gets it in her head that her wedding day has to be absolutely perfect, decides to micromanage every little detail to make sure it is so.” The rubber mouse made another click, and the image was replaced with one of the mare seated in a film director’s folding chair, shouting through a megaphone. “All that built up stress has to go somewhere, so the bride takes it out on the planners, the tailor, the caterers, the decorators, her friends, the groom, yada yada.”
Another click. Multiple pictures of the mare screaming at ponies appeared on the screen. “That makes things worse, builds more stress, which she redirects at everypony else, and now you’ve got a nice feedback loop that makes everypony involved miserable until bam!” The mare was gone, and on the screen was instead a massive reptilian monster in a torn white dress, stomping through a city. “Another wedding ruined by Bridezilla.”
“That’s not real. I mean.” Spike pointed at the last slide and snickered. “I’d think Twilight and I would have heard something about mares transforming into huge dragon monsters.”
“Well usually it’s a more of a metaphorical transformation than a literal one, and those that aren’t get cleaned up pretty quickly by that one agency the princess isn’t supposed to know about for plausible deniability.” The screen, projector, and mouse all bursted into clouds of smoke as Discord slithered over to Spike and clasped an arm around the dragon’s shoulders.
“Look, take it from a guy who’s been around the block.”
“Wait, you’ve been married?”
“What, no, of course not. Who do you take me for?” The draconequus rolled his eyes. “But that’s irrelevant because I know chaos, and buddy, that desire for a perfect wedding is all the push you need to head down a slippery slope of insanity. As your friend and a fellow guy, it is my solemn duty to warn about what you’re about to face. You think Princess Purple’s perfectionism was bad?” Discord shook his head and let out a low whistle that ended with the sound of an explosion.
Slowly, Spike turned to Big McIntosh. “Sugar Belle wasn’t like that, was she?”
“Nah. Course, Granny Smith took over most of planning once she found out, wouldn’t let us touch nothing. Well, except for the, uh, food.” Big McIntosh flinched as he rubbed his throat. “Sugar, she, well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anypony shout down Granny like that, before or since.”
The silence stretched on, giving everyone ample time to digest Discord’s assertions and Big Mac’s implications. “Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Discord suddenly declared, and he let Spike out of his grasp. “Just make sure Rarity isn’t super stressed over the wedding and there’ll be nothing to worry about. I mean, it’s not like running a massive successful fashion franchise is a super stressful job already or anything. Or like Rarity’s already a huge drama queen who has tendencies toward being overly dramatic with over the top reactions and an eye for perfection.”
Discord paused to stroke at the tuff of hair attached to the end of his chin. “No, wait, actually, hm.” Shrugging, he patted Spike on the back. “Well, that’s a future Spike problem. Tonight, no responsibilities, no worries. Now let’s get the old party back together.”
Spike felt something being forced into his claws. In them, he discovered, was a gnarled staff with runes carved into the wood. A long wispy white beard had suddenly sprout from his face, and there was now a wide brimmed, turquoise wizard hat atop his head while a matching set of robes suddenly adorned his body. To his left was Big McIntosh in armored barding and a horned helmet with a large sword held aloft by his new magical unicorn horn, and on his right stood Discord, his silky blond hair flowing in some nonexistent breeze as he nocked an arrow to his bow.
The cardboard skeletons of the room had all turned on Spike, Discord, and Big McIntosh with clubs and maces and rusty spears in their bony grips. All had been stripped of their suits and dresses save for one that was in a white fedora and had a typewriter instead of a real weapon. A sickly green glow spewed from their empty eye sockets towards the trio as the skeletons stood there, weapons ready as they waited.
“Well, Garbunkle?” Discord whispered. “You won the initiative.”
Spike turned to the undead crowd. He took in a deep breath, raised his staff, and from it he released a mighty ball of fire.
Spike nervously reached up for his tie, but the weight of so many eyeballs upon him brought his claw back down. He could barely breath with the blasted thing so tightly wound around his neck, but he didn’t dare try to fix it now, not with so many watching. Suggest that something wasn’t perfect? No, he couldn’t possible. Everything was fine, perfectly fine.
There it was, the urge to blink. His face had been locked in the same expression for what must have been hours now. His lips felt like they were on the brink of peeling off from all the smiling he was forcing them through, and his eyes no longer had any moisture left to continue watering. The twitch Spike had been suppressing was growing in strength, threatening to cause his entire face to spasm. He just needed a moment, just a second to relax his cheeks, get in a quick blink.
A low growl coming from beside him banished any such thoughts of weakness. Spike forced his smile wider, and his eyes stayed open and forward. Everything was fine, perfectly fine.
How long had he been standing here, his back as stiff as a board, his shoulders squarer than any picture frame, his tail raised exactly four inches from the floor, high enough that it was clearly off the ground but not so high that it drew any attention to his posterior or would swing in a passing breeze? Spike could feel his knees buckle under his own weight, begging to be bent. His arms, pressed to his sides, and his wings, folded against his back, added their protests and their demands for a quick stretch. The soles of his feet burned from being stuck to the same place for so long. Spike forced himself to ignore his own body’s tormented petitions.
Everything was fine, perfectly fine.
At last, the officiant standing before him put their droning to a close. They were looking expectantly at him, everyone was. Spike grew cold, his mouth drier than ever, as he realized that they were all waiting for his response to a statement he had missed. Spurred on by second growl at his side, Spike swallowed and stammered out, “Y-yes?”
The officiant nodded and turned. “And you?”
The whole world seemed to shake. As if a spell on him had suddenly been broken, Spike stumbled forward out of his rigid stance and nearly fell onto his hands and knees. He shut his eyes and winced as the growling got louder by the second. The shaking worsened as a reluctant Spike forced himself to turn and look up just at the scaly behemoth next to him threw up their head and let out an ear bursting, stomach churning roar. From the being’s massive maw came a blindingly bright beam of blue light that split open the heavens above.
Spike opened his eyes and sat up gasping. He grabbed at his neck and found that the suffocating tie was gone. So was the crowd, the officiant, and the behemoth. The only creature at his side or anywhere nearby for that matter was the lovely unicorn in bed next to him, her eyes hidden beneath a plush sleeping mask, the comforter they shared rising and falling with each gentle breath she took.
Taking in a few slow breaths to calm himself with his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound and avoid disturbing the slumbering beauty beside him, Spike looked to the bedroom window. A sliver of moonlight crept through the curtain, but a quick glance at the clock on the nightstand told him that it wouldn’t be too much longer before Twilight set down the moon and brought the sun up in its place.
Spike lowered his head back down against his pillow and shut his eyes, but it was too late. He had given sleep too much time to escape, and now there was no corralling it back, but at the same time, he had no desire to leave his bed. His eyes reopened and he turned onto his side to stare at the still sleeping Rarity in adoration, in appreciation, and in envy. Carefully, he slipped a claw into her mane, letting the soft violet curls wrap themselves around his fingers. He could still smell the scent of her shampoo, of rose petals and vanilla.
He lifted his hand, mane still intertwined, to reveal the tantalizing stretch of white beneath. He inched closer and closer until the heat of his breath fell upon the nape of Rarity’s neck, causing her to stir. When she became still once more, Spike allowed himself a smirk as he pressed his mouth against her exposed neck. His lips pursed as they clung to Rarity, sucking away hungrily while his tongue danced and drew little circles on her coat. The very tips of his fangs raked along the nape, pressing down ever so very gently.
“Oh, honestly.”
Rarity let out a squeal and turned over, pulling the back of her neck free from Spike’s mouth as she now laid facing the degenerate dragon. She partially lifted up her mask, exposing one eye so that she could glare at him sternly with it. When met with Spike’s silly, prideful grin, her composure crumbled, and Rarity could only shake her head as she struggled to hold back her laughter.
“What time is it?” she asked, propping herself up by her front knee.
“Oh, about half an hour til sunrise.”
Rarity’s glare returned. She lowered her mask and flipped over, turning her back towards Spike. “Honestly, Spike, can’t you save your affection for a more reasonable hour? You know I’m meeting Sassy today, and at my age I need every minute of beauty sleep I can get.”
“I don’t know about that. I think you’re pretty hot when you’re cranky.”
Spike’s smug face was met with a pillow, and a hard nudge from Rarity’s hind legs nearly knocked the dragon out of bed. “Since you’re so awake, be a dear and get me a wet towel. I can feel your drool drying up in my coat.”
Spike let out a loud, long exaggerated sigh and rolled out of bed. It didn’t take long for him to return with a small towel damp with warm water that he had prepared in the connected bathroom. Rarity murmured a word of gratitude as Spike wiped away the spot wet with his saliva. Spike stood over her for a moment, contemplating on whether to rejoin his fiancée, but the moment passed, and after planting a peck on Rarity’s check, Spike tiptoed out of the bedroom.
Save for a few guards that snapped to attention as he walked by, the halls were empty. Led by the lanterns that lit his way, Spike wandered about, seemingly aimless. Portraits and stain glass depictions of heroes and legends watched as the dragon passed. He stiffened as a cool breeze blew by and got his attention, causing Spike to shift his direction and make his way onto an open balcony. Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, Spike stretched his arms up into the air and extended out his wings to their full width, giving them a couple of good flaps.
The darkness around him started to subside as a red glow began to emerge from behind the horizon. Spike leaned on the balcony railing and watched as the sun slowly ascended. Spike smiled. There it was, that slight, almost unnoticeable wobble. Even after all these years of practice, Twilight still couldn’t quite replicate Celestia’s mastery over the golden orb. Funny that the moon never gave them as much trouble, which led Spike to wonder if the sun’s original owner had deliberately made it so as a little prank. He wouldn’t put it past the mischievous former princess.
A shadow appeared overhead, his only warning before Princess Twilight Sparkle suddenly landed right next to him. Startled, Spike slipped and would have tumbled off the edge of the balcony had he not been caught by Twilight’s magic. “You’re up early,” Twilight said with a teasing grin. “Trying to make Rarity breakfast in bed before the kitchen staff take over and chase you out again?”
“Not exactly, no.” Spike brushed off his knees. “Just, you know, woke up and had trouble falling back asleep.”
Twilight’s expression shifted to one of concern as her grin turned into a frown. “Another bad dream? Was it the one with the giant cake that kept trying to eat everypony?”
“No, it was nothing. Nothing to worry about,” Spike assured with a dispassionate flick of his wrist. “I can’t even remember what it was about. It’s just, you know, premarital jitters, I guess.”
Up went Twilight’s brow. “Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that? Last I checked, you and Rarity were still deciding on a date.”
“Ugh. We actually figured that out a few days ago, but don’t you remind me.” Spike placed his claws behind his head and groaned. “It was tough enough figuring something out that works with both her schedule and mine, but then you add your royal responsibilities, then planting and harvest times, then Wonderbolt trainings and shows, and don’t get me started on the craziness that’s Pinkie’s party plans.” He sighed. “I swear we had settled on a date twice already before having to go back and rewrite all the invitations because a new foal was born somewhere in Equestria.”
“You know you can—“
“Delegate. Yeah, I know.” Spike rolled his eyes. “But sometimes there's stuff only we can handle, you know? Don't get me wrong, our secretary team is great, but Inkspot can't seem to understand that you can't just start planting season a month early while Pen Isle's clearly never met Rainbow Dash if he thinks we can just have the wedding on the same day as the Wonderbolt cadet graduation ceremony. I mean, we are getting what help we can. I've got some ponies checking out the most popular wedding spots, figuring out their availabilities, and it’s not like Rarity and I have been writing out all the invitations by hoof and hand.”
“Is that why your staff’s been hogging all the interns?”
“Our diplomacy department has been putting our available resources to good use, and if those kids really want to know what a career in service of Her Royal Majesty is like, well, they need to learn that it’s not always glamorous. I should know.” Spike gave his oldest friend a sideways glance. “I mean, it’s not like I’m having them complete checklists of things needed to create checklists before having them triple-check the checklists to make sure they didn’t miss anything when they double-checked the checklist.”
"Very funny, mister," Twilight said, batting at Spike's head spikes. "Well, if either you or Rarity need any help, don't hesitate to ask Equestria's number one organizer." She patted her chest proudly. "That'd me, smart-mouth," she added with an annoyed look as Spike started to open said smart mouth.
"I was just going to say that you also happen to be Equestria's most busiest organizer." Spike looked up and frowned. "Case in point," he said, gesturing to the group of pegasi flying down towards them.
"Princess Twilight," the leader of the bunch declared as soon as she landed on the balcony before immediately lowering herself into a bow. Her fellows did the same the moment they touched down. Spike gave the intruders a glance over and noted that they were all older ponies, the kinds that might apply for certain discounts, and were wearing sunhats, binoculars, and sashes with various badges shaped like birds. How they managed to elude the pegasus guards who were just now joining them was a mystery and one with an embarrassing answer if the redness of the guards’ faces were any indication.
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with us this morning, Your Majesty," the leader, an elderly mare with the largest hat and the sash with the most badges, continued.
Spike leaned over to Twilight and whispered, his tone incredulous, "Early morning meeting?"
Twilight nodded and grimaced. "Members of the Early Bird Watchers club," she whispered back. "They want me to consider raising the sun an hour earlier to help boost their group’s membership numbers. When they said they wanted to see me first thing in the morning, I didn't think they meant literally." Putting on a most professional smile, Twilight turned to the group. "Madam President, how wonderful for you and your friends to be joining us today. Have you had breakfast yet? Tea?"
"Oh, that's alright. We've already eaten, see." The old mare grinned, revealing a set of teeth stained with coffee and with bits of seed shells stuck in the spaces.
"Oh. Good. Well then, please allow my trusted advisor here to bring you to a prepared conference room." Twilight motioned toward Spike, the casualness of the gesture an extreme difference to the horror on Spike's face. "I will be with you shortly." She started toward the castle interior, pausing only for a few quick seconds to whisper into Spike's ear before heading inside:
"Just give me a few minutes to wash up and grab some coffee. Thanks.”
Spike swallowed his protests as he stiffly motioned to the Early Bird Watchers and their late escort to follow him into the castle as well. They stopped before the first set of double doors they came across and made their way into a decently sized meeting room, complete with a large square table with plenty of room for multiple parties. He sent one guard out to inform Twilight of their decided location then helped the guests to their seats, a rigid smile carved into his face as old biddies and coots voiced their complaints about the room’s lighting and the ambience and how the current societal decline was due to the new generation’s taste in music.
Twilight, her mane now sparkling and flowing, could not have arrived sooner as the grumbling gradually grated Spike’s nerves. A tray with a pot and teacups and little cakes had been prepared, which their guests quickly dove upon despite the earlier assertions of their leader.
“Now, what’s this about changing the current time of the sunrise?” Twilight asked as she took her seat.
“Well, Princess Twilight, as the one to raise the sun each morning, surely you of all ponies would understand the beauty of a bird’s song in the morning. It’s the perfect way to open a brand new day. Now, my grandchildren, bless them, they are my pride and joy, but their tastes have been tainted by their generation’s current artificial culture. What I’m proposing is quite simple…”
It was a matter of endurance, standing there at Twilight’s side with the most neutral expression Spike could muster as the old mare blustered on and on. Every tangent that extended the presented case sent him a pang of regret. He shouldn’t have gotten out of bed, shouldn’t have left Rarity. The thought of the mare nearly brought a smile to his face, but he kept his expression straight in order to maintain the illusion of attentiveness.
Salvation came to Spike in the form of a guard who entered the room with a message he received through whispers. Spike quietly excused himself and stepped out where a kiss on the check followed by one on the lips greeted him.
“Been busy?” Rarity asked.
“As always,” Spike replied with a sigh. “You heading out now?”
Rarity nodded. “I’ll be back later this afternoon. There are a few items I want to look into after my luncheon with Sassy. Try not to miss me too much.”
“No promises. Oh, wait.” Spike held up his claw. “Hold on, give me one minute.”
The dragon rushed off, hurrying his way to a doorway that led to a messy office space. Several stuffed binders were stacked on the various coffee tables, and the wall behind the work desk was covered in multiple calendars, all opened to different months and connected to each other by pieces of red string. Spike opened the desk drawer and removed a folded card and an envelope. The card’s edges were decorated with gold vines and silver flowers, and at the top there was a pair of chiming bells, each carried by a dove in flight. The center was stamped with the image of a diamond within a small flame. Spike opened the card and quickly read through the inked message within. No errors could be found, the recipient was properly addressed, his and Rarity’s signatures were stamped in clearly and without any crookedness, the date was right. Spike checked his wall to make sure. Yes, that was the correct date. Perfection.
He hurried back to the waiting Rarity and handed the card over to her. “I finished this one last night. I figured you’d want to give this to Sassy personally,” Spike said, “she being your oldest business partner and all.”
It took Rarity but a second to recognize the card for what it was, and once she had placed it in its envelope and slipped it into her purse, she threw her forelegs around Spike and pulled him down for another kiss. “Thank you, Spike, darling. I know you’ve been working so very hard on this. When I get back tonight—“
“Hey, hey. We’ve been working so very hard on this. It’s the two of us making this happen together, remember?” Spike grinned. “Well, you, me, and my vast royal network.”
“I should cancel next month’s tour. It’s mostly just remixes of old pieces anyways. Or have somepony else run it. Then I’d be free to help you with—“
“Shh.” Spike cupped his claw over Rarity’s cheek and brought his lips over hers. “I don’t want to hear that from you. Wait, I mean, I’m happy you want to spend more time with me and all, but I know how important your business is to you. You spent practically your entire life building it up from scratch. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. I can handle this.”
He leaned forward for another kiss but was blocked by a raised hoof. “Silly dragon, you are just as important to me.” Rarity frowned. “But, I do have to admit, you are in a slightly more favorable position, at the moment, for these sorts of preparations,” she said with a begrudging sigh. “Still, I want you to promise that you won’t push yourself too hard and that you’ll let me know the moment you need any support.”
“I promise.” Spike tried again, and this time Rarity made no attempt to prevent the kiss. “Now you better get going. Have fun playing dress up or whatever you and Sassy have planned.”
Rarity let out a yelp as she felt Spike’s claws swat across her hindquarters. Her amused glare was met with a look of innocence before she started off for the busy day ahead, her tail swinging as she deliberately drew the dragon’s gaze to her retreating figure. Spike’s appreciation was cut short when the door to the conference room swung open, and out stepped the members of the Early Bird Watchers Club, all in smiles and a far more content mood than they had been initially. Twilight soon joined them, and it was only after they had all completed their closing salutations and left her proximity that she allowed her facade to crumble and reveal the drained mare beneath the mask of empathetic patience.
“So, how’d it go?” Spike asked playfully. “We all going to lose an hour of sleep?”
“All they were looking for was some attention and maybe a donation,” Twilight grumbled. “I just pointed them to some wildlife charities that might be able to help.”
“So, breakfast?”
“Maybe in a bit. I need to check my schedule first, make sure this early meeting hasn’t messed anything else up.”
She shared a nod with Spike, and the two went their separate ways. As Spike made his way back to his office, he found that there were others waiting for him at the doorway. Amid a number of boxes sat a young bespectacled griffon in a vest and tie and a mare just barely out of adolescence, her neck adorned with a lacy jabot, her flanks marked with the image of a scroll held in place by a ribbon tied in a bow.
“Mr. Spike!” the griffon exclaimed at Spike’s approach. “Sir, there you are, sir. We wanted to speak to you last night about, whoa!”
In the griffon’s haste, he had knocked over one of the boxes, tipping its contents over onto the ground as his companion hid her face behind her hoof with a silent groan.
“Oh, oh no. I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to, oh no.”
“Hey, hey, no worries.” Spike bent down to help scoop the documents back into their container. “Well you two are here early. That eager to get to work, eh?” Spike took a quick look at the sheet of folded paper in his claw that he had yet to return and blinked at the sight of a very familiar design. Gold vines decorated the edges of the paper along with silver flowers, there was the image of a diamond lit aflame in the center, and at the top a pair of doves flew with bells in their beaks.
“We actually finished them all just last night,” the collared mare explained. “But you seemed busy then, so we figured we’d just bring them to you first thing in the morning.”
“Wow, that’s some good work, real good work. You guys finished this way ahead of schedule.” Spike raised a fist over his lips to hide his absolutely massive grin. When he brought his hand down, his cheeks continued to twitch with excitement. “Hey, tell you what, since you guys worked so hard to get this all done so quickly, why don’t you all take a half day? Just finish all of your currently assigned duties, and the team can take the rest of the day off. Go on, go.”
The two struggled to contain their own excitement as they thanked Spike and headed off to inform the rest of their team. Spike allowed some of his earlier smile to return as he opened the held invitation.
…you are cordially invited to the wedding of Ms. Raity and Mr. Spike the—
“Wait, Raity?” Spike’s eyes narrowed as he glowered at the offending error. His throat turned dry. His blood ran cold. There was no mistaking it, and no amount of staring was going to replace the missing r in the bride’s name. How in Equestria had they misspelled Rarity, possibly the most important word in entire invitation? Swallowing, Spike slowly reached into the box of cards and pulled out another. Here, it was not Rarity’s name that suffered from a grievous aberration but the wedding’s planned location. Spike dove for another invitation. That one at least had no mistakes.
He went for another. No mistakes. Perfection. Another. No mistakes. Perfection. Another. Here, the invitee was given the wrong title; one couldn’t simply address the ruling Dragon Lord as Lady Ember.
Spike looked to the boxes standing around him. How many here were fine? How many, meant for friends, family, close business partners and diplomatic relations, were in a state unfit for release? He had just promised his team a break. Was his heart hard enough for him to rescind that promise so that their mistakes could be corrected?
No. They made the errors in the first place, who could say they’d be able to right their wrong? Maybe it was Spike’s mistake to have trusted those so inexperienced a job so important. Well what was done was done, and now it was up to him to salvage the situation.
Spike locked his claws together and stretched his palms outward before picking up one of the closest boxes. He had just pushed past his office’s door and was about about to take a step inside when he heard the thundering hooves of a rapidly approaching pony. It was a guard, Spike saw, and she had on a set of saddlebags with one side bulging.
“Sir!” the mare said with a quick salute. “This came in the mail for you a couple of days ago.” She reached into the bag and gave over a moderately sized parcel with a letter attached. Written on the letter in big bold red letters was the word URGENT.
“Apologies for the delay sir, but we had reason to believe that the package may have contained explosives. We only just confirmed that the package is safe a little while ago.”
Spike tore the letter from its envelope, and from the manuscript he immediately recognized both the sender and possibly why a bomb threat had been raised.
“Dear Spike,” he read, “and Rarity really though since Rarity’s usually traveling around this time I figured it’d be safer to just mail this to Spike. And if he’s gone on some diplomatic mission, I’m sure Twilight’ll get it to him somehow. Probably with magic. Anyways, I hope the two of you are enjoying life as fiancés. It’s that magical moment that’s between super close friends with usually exclusive benefits and newlyweds, and I know personally that it can be as nerve-rackingly crazy as the It’s Complicated period.
“Anyways, remember when you asked us for all our schedules so that you could come up with the perfect date for the wedding so that all of our closest friends could make it? And I kept having to send you new schedules because a new reason to party came up that meant I totally had to revise my entire party planning schedule? And the last one I said was going to be the super duper-est one hundred percent most final one? Well, it turns out that Lil Cheese’s new friends at school all got their cutie marks around the same time. Crazy, right? Well we just had to celebrate, but that means things kind of sort of got changed around and flipped upside down. But I Pinkie Pie promise, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, that this is most definitely without a doubt the super duper-est one hundred and ten percent most final chocolate fudge with rainbow sprinkles and gummy candies on top one.
“Can’t wait for the wedding. I’m sitting at the mailbox, waiting for the invitation as we speak. Or write. Lots of hearts and cupcakes, your friend, Pinkie Pie. PS: I hope you’re not reading this out loud like you usually do. Otherwise, you probably look kind of crazy in front of everypony around you now.”
Spike lowered the letter and looked to the parcel instead. He brought the tip of a claw to the tape covering the box and sliced through the adhesive strip. Colorful confetti burst into the air as a large planner as thick as a textbook popped out of the box. Spike looked to the boxes of invitations, some with errors, all now very likely with the incorrect date, then to the massive planner from Pinkie, then to the calendars that were serving as the back wall’s wallpaper, the perfect date encircled almost certainly no longer perfect.
Few creatures understood the value of connections better than Canterlot nobility. Money certainly could go a long way, but what many newcomers to the high life failed to recognize or had possibly forgotten in their dizzying rise was that your wealth was no good if you had no one around to accept it. Blood and names could open doors that gold could not, and for some of the older establishments, who you knew could be more important than the price you could offer.
To the largely cynical nobles of Canterlot, the new princess’s acclamations of friendship as magic were nothing revolutionary. It just went by a different name, and it was why a pony like Duke Deluxe could have confidently strutted to the front of long line of petitioners waiting for a possible audience with her Royal Majesty, as he had done every other Thursday, a couple hours before noon, for the past four and a half months.
This Thursday, the young Duke was finding the glares and the mumblings from the plebeians stuck standing in the line that he could simply bypass much harder to ignore than they typically were. The noticeable increase in guards patrolling the area certainly wasn’t helping his nerves, and the collar of his blouse became damp with perspiration as he rushed down the hall, his pace more of a panicked jog than his usual arrogant prance.
The screening team at the entrance to the throne room had been expanded in addition to the extra guards at the ready, but despite the added security and horsepower, the receptionists didn’t seem too concerned, their professional smiles and neutral expressions unreadable and unreflective of the tense atmosphere around them. A more insightful creature might have noticed a hint of irritation at Duke Deluxe’s approach, but the young stallion had other things occupying his mind.
“I—“ he started to say, only for his voice to suddenly crack and raise itself an octave higher. He cleared his throat and tugged at his sweat soaked collar. “I’m here to see Princess Twilight Sparkle. My personal assistant scheduled an appointment at this hour, and, and just let me in already.” Deluxe continued to fidget with his shirt as he shot nervous glances over his shoulder toward the line’s occupants. “Look, I know I’m in her calendar, so just let me through.”
The receptionist serving Deluxe, an experienced mare with her amber mane arranged in a stiff bun, kept her gaze upon him as she slowly flipped through several papers attached to a clipboard. “Name?”
“Are you, ahem. I am Duke Deluxe.”
“Duke Deluxe, here to—“
“To discuss the current status of my company’s license, yes!”
“Ah. Here you are.” The mare put down the clipboard. “Now, I believe I should first inform you that Princess—“
“Yes, yes, that’s all very good, but I’m in a bit of a hurry, so let’s not waste anymore of my or Her Highness’s time.” Duke Deluxe glanced over his shoulder one more time, and in doing so he failed to spot the receptionist’s brow raise or the ends of her lips twitch into the smallest hint of a grin. “Now, may I?” he demanded, gesturing to the grand doors.
The mare nodded to the guards posted at the doors, and the moment the entrance was open, Duke Deluxe rushed inside and breathed out a sigh of relief. Straightening his shirt and his mane, he stepped further into the throne room, his head held high as confidence returned with each step. The young noble had gotten halfway to the raised platform where the princess would have been seated only to freeze at the sight of an empty throne. His head swiveled as he looked around the room, searching for any sign of the princess, but her only presence was in the form of her depictions in the stained glass glorifying her past accomplishments.
Instead, there standing near the throne was a young purple dragon wearing a badge that had the royal seal, and in his claw there was a fist sized red ruby with several bites taken out of it. With him were a small team of scribes and an older stallion, a unicorn, who had on a formal dress coat and was cleaning his monocle with an embroidered handkerchief as the dragon spoke to him.
“—really didn’t think this needed the gala planning committee’s approval, so thanks for getting it all done.”
“But of course. A wedding on the castle grounds and for Her Highness’s second in command? I’m surprise that this hasn’t become a much larger arrangement.”
“Yeah, well. I mean, I think I speak for Rarity when I say that we’d both prefer it if our martial status didn’t make the front page of every major newspaper, but with me being a public figure and all—“
The dragon cut himself off as he came to notice Duke Deluxe’s appearance. “Oh, right. The, uh, the ten oh clock.”
“Advisor,” Deluxe said with a stiff bow in Spike’s direction before turning to the stallion. “Uncle Fancy Pants.”
“Dear nephew,” greeted the honorable Lord Fancy Pants. The smile directed at the boy was genuine, but there was a tinge of sadness to it, possibly even regret. In any case, Duke Deluxe didn’t appear to notice. “My apologies, Sir Spike. I didn’t mean to take so much of your time.”
“Nah, I’m the one who called you here in the first place,” Spike said with a contrasting lack of decorum. “We’ll iron out the rest of the details later. Just, uh, the gardens will be available by then, yeah?”
“Rest assured, the royal planning committees will take care of it.”
“And keeping the reporters to a minimum?”
At this request Fancy Pants’s face soured. “That, might be a tad trickier, but this old boy will see what he can do.” Then, with a nod to Spike and a second one to his twice removed nephew, the unicorn exited the room.
"So!' Spike said, setting down the ruby and clapping his claws together which caused the younger unicorn to jump. "Let me guess, an update on that license of yours?”
Duke Deluxe stretched his neck up and out as he tried to look past the dragon's shoulder. "Where's the princess? It's an important business matter, so I must—"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle is out for today," Spike interjected. As his eyes narrowed, the unicorn before him audibly gulped. "An emergency came up. I'm running court for the day in her place and have been granted her complete authority until her return." To emphasize, Spike tapped on his badge. "I think I can handle this 'important' business matter."
"Ah, is, is that r-right?" Deluxe again started to mess with his collar as Spike lowered the fingers he had used to make air quotation marks and retrieved his gem before taking another bite out of it. "This, ahem, emergency, would it happen to do with all the, uh, the dragons that are currently waiting outside?"
At the rising of Spike's hand, Duke Deluxe flinched, but all Spike did was pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh. "No, no it does not. That's a completely unrelated issue. Now, so, about that license."
"Um, actually, I think we can table this matter of mine f-for the time being." Deluxe released a weak titter. "Perhaps once the princess is back. I can see that you are already drakely, er, greatly busy as it is."
"You sure?" Spike motioned to one of the scribes. "Looks like there's just a few details you need to address," he said while flipping though the binder that had been brought to him. "We could have you out of here with your license in ten, twenty minutes. Half an hour tops."
"No, no. I don't mean to dragon, I mean, drag this on, but, ah, I just think it might be better to finish this matter with the princess. I've been working on this mostly through her, and I don't want to, er, confuse myself."
Spike shrugged and slammed the binder shut. "Well, I can't stop you if that's how you feel, but it will mean having to schedule a new appointment. We can take care of that now while you're still here."
"No, that's quite alright. I'll, uh, have someone contact, figure, do the thing they need to do to schedule the thing. Um, excuse me." Duke Deluxe lowered himself into a short bow before sprinting out of the throne room and letting the doors crash behind him.
Spike let the following seconds pass in silence. "Well, okay then," he said before chomping down on the last of his ruby, the grinding and splintering of stone against dragon fang echoing through the room. He quickly swallowed and rubbed his hands together, cleaning off the last bits of red dust off them as he looked to the guards that were on his side of the doors, waiting for their orders. "Break’s over. Let's get the next one over with. Let them in."
The guards nodded and started to open the heavy twin doors. The moment a crack had formed, the entrance was flung wide open with enough force to nearly knock the sentries back flying. In crawled a dragon, as required by his larger red scaled frame. Even with him on all fours, the horns on the dragon's head nearly brushed against the ceiling, and the confides of the room's dimensions kept his wings folded against him. One of his eyes was scarred shut while other the size of a beach ball and of a mesmerizing topaz color scanned the entire room until it fell upon the only other member of his species in sight.
"My son!" the dragon exclaimed, his deep voice causing the room to rumble. The ponies closest to him flattened their ears against their heads. For the briefest of moments, his eye flicked to the ring on Spike’s finger, a band of gold with diamonds encrusting the entire circumference, before returning to its owner. "For years I have searched the world for you. High and low, near and far. I have been to the very ends of this world, never believing that you were truly lost. But now, on this joyous day, we are united, and it would do me no greater honor than to walk you down the aisle." The dragon hammered a fist into his chest. "As your father, I shall accept all the responsibilities, the risks, and the rewards that this momentous task undoubtedly entails. But now, my son, it is time to celebrate." With his massive claws held up to the roof, the dragon smiled widely, showing off a vast set of fangs all as large as a grown pony. "My boy, let us gather all the gems in this palace and feast until the next morning!"
The only sound that followed the dragon’s bold declaration was his own heavy breaths. With his arms folded across his chest, Spike turned to his assistants. "Well, what're your verdicts?"
"It was certainly better rehearsed than the last few," spoke a mare. "At least he didn't immediately start asking for gems."
"Bit overly dramatic though," another said.
"Really? I didn't think it was dramatic enough. Could have done some fire breathing at the very end, if you asked me," added one more critic.
The larger, older dragon slowly blinked his one good eye. "Um, my son? Is something the matter?"
Spike rubbed the end of his chin in thoughtful silence before answering. "You're red. I'm purple. How?"
"Why, you got your scales from your mother of course."
"And I'm guess that where these came from." Spike pointed to the ridged spikes on his head. "As opposed to those." He gestured to the dragon's pointed spiraling head horns. "And where is my mother?"
"You mother? Why, she's busy. Back in the Dragon Lands. Had to, clean a volcano. For, her mother, your grandmother. Messy work, very long. It could be a long while before she can meet you, what with your grandmother living so far away from everydragon else."
Spike pressed his palms together and exhaled. "How old am I?"
"How, how old?" A huge lump could be seen traveling down the dragon's gullet. "Why, you must be, around the age where." His eye squinted in concentration. "Five?"
Spike had to keep the ends of his mouth from lifting.
"No, five hundred!"
"Alright, I think we're done here." Spike motioned to the door. "We both know we're not related. Let's not waste either of our time."
"But, my son—"
"I'm not your son," Spike interrupted coolly, his eyes narrowing as his lips curled into a scowl. "I'm getting real sick of these games, so get out and take all your friends with you back to the Dragon Lands."
The dragon's own expression slowly darkened with a frown. "I'm not leaving without that feast. You can keep your silly pony ceremony, but I'll be taking your gems."
His claws flexed, his muscles tensed, his wings spread as far as the room would allow. A low growl rumbled out of his throat as the guards immediately surrounded him, their weapons pointed and at the ready. Armored pegasi hovered above, several directing their spears at the dragon's sole good eye and other soft vulnerable spots, while the horns of their unicorn comrades were all aglow, already weaving multiple magical countermeasures.
Spike’s own wings were spread. His claws slowly closed into fists, his knuckles cracking as he stared down the dragon. “You’re not the first dragon we had to kick out today.” A shot of green flames flew out of his nostrils. “This is your final warning. Leave.”
No creature moved, not the dragon, not the guards, not Spike. A collective breath was held, waiting for someone to initiate, and with each passing second, the wait became all the less bearable.
The standoff’s end came not from Spike and his royal guards nor from their draconic opponent but from the loud crashing entrance of a third party. The doors were once again flung aside, making space for yet another dragon, this one blue and with curved horns, like that of a ram, and a slenderer body than the other two dragons currently in the room. Her size was more comparable to that of Spike’s, a little larger perhaps, but at her approach, the biggest of the three immediately began to cower.
“D-D-Dragon Lord Ember!” he said, his voice quaking as his body shook. “W-what brings you here? N-not that I would dare question your comings a-and goings.”
“I’m here because a friend asked me to be here,” Dragon Lord Ember declared. “What are you doing here? What are any of you doing here?” she demanded, turning around to glare at the line of dragons in the hall behind her.
Spike gave the red dragon a look and prompted him to speak with a casual motion. When the dragon remained silent, Spike allowed himself a smirk before turning back to the newcomer.
“Apparently, I have a bunch of long lost fathers who have all decided to appear today.”
“What?” The red dragon and those in the hall cringed at the Dragon Lord’s shout. Their gazes immediately fell as Ember’s glare swept over them. “Alright, who here is Spike’s actual real father?”
The draconic crowd was silent and still, which only caused Ember’s rage to burn brighter as sparks flew from her teeth from clenching against each other. “Alright, all of you, back to the Dragon Lands, now! No pit stops, no breaks. That’s an order! And be ashamed!”
The dragons, including the large one with red scales, slinked away, their heads drooped and tails dragging along the ground. Pretty soon, save for the guards and the receptionist team, the hall leading to the throne room was empty, and the only ones present in the throne room were Spike, his scribes, the guards, and Ember.
Spike released his breath as the rest of his team became a choir of relieved sighing. “Thanks Ember. I wasn’t sure when you were going to get here. You just saved us a bunch of trouble.”
“Hey, no problem big guy.” Ember threw a punch into Spike’s shoulder, causing him to wince and rub the afflicted area. “Glad to have helped, though I’m sure you could’ve handle it. Oh, and congrats on the wedding thing with what’s her name, Charity? And, uh, sorry.”
“It’s Rarity, and don’t worry about it.” Spike rolled his shoulder a couple of times and tried to grin through the pain. “I can barely feel the bruise coming in.”
“Not that.” Ember grimaced. “It, might have been my fault, the whole imposter father thing.”
“Wait, what?”
“It’s not like I told them to pretend to be your dad or anything,” Ember swiftly clarified. “When I got the invite to your wedding, I got, confused. You know I’m not great with your pony stuff.” She huffed as she folded her arms and stomped her foot down. “Like, I know you’re supposed to bring a gift, but I didn’t know what a wedding gift is supposed to be. Gems? Gold? It didn’t seem, enough, you know?”
“I mean, gems would have been fine.”
“Yeah, fine, but after everything we’ve been through, fine didn’t seem good enough.” She jabbed a finger into Spike’s chest. “I mean, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be Dragon Lord.”
“Okay? Not exactly sure how we get from wedding gifts to dragons pretending to be my dad.”
“I’m getting there, don’t rush me,” Ember snapped. She took a deep breath. “Okay, so I’m trying to come up with a gift and ended up talking to Thorax because I figured he might know a thing or two about weddings. I mean, he tried to crash one that one time with the rest of the changelings when they were still under that Crystalline or whatever.” Ember shook her head. “Big mistake. The guy was real excited about this, he had his invitation copied, framed, and turned into posters that he had plastered all over the place.”
The two dragons shared a small chuckle. In all honesty, the scene wasn’t too hard for Spike to imagine, knowing how excitable the changeling sovereign could get. “Anyways,” Ember continued, “the only thing I really got out of his ramblings was that ponies have a tradition of fathers walking them down aisles, whatever that means. I remember that you, uh, never knew your dragon father so I figured this could be the perfect gift. You get to meet your dad at last, don’t have to miss that huge aisle walking thing.” The Dragon Lord scowled. “Guess all that decree got you was a bunch of scummy opportunists. So, uh, sorry, but don’t worry. I’ll keep looking. If your dad’s alive, we’ll find him.”
Spike took a long moment to absorb Ember’s offer. “That’s, heavy.” He swallowed. “Look, it’s a kind thought, and I appreciate it, really I do, but I don’t really care about meeting my dragon dad. I’ve kind of made peace with this whole, thing.” He waved his hand around in an odd noncommittal gesture. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’d even want him at the wedding. He’d be more of a complete stranger to me than anything else really.”
“And you’d be okay with missing out on that whole walking down the aisle with your father thing?” asked Ember, frowning.
“Eh, it’s traditionally more of a bride thing anyways.”
“Right, and the bride is?”
“It’s Rarity. You know, the white one? With a horn, purple hair.”
“Right, right. The one who dresses up like seaweed and rocks.” As Spike held back a snicker, Ember stretched out her limbs and let out a sigh. “Well, now that that’s all taken care of, I’d better head back. Got make sure all those dragon’s keep out of trouble and figure out a new wedding gift.” She groaned. “Ugh, why is this so hard?”
“Hey, you’ve got time.” Spike grinned as he led the way to the throne room’s entrance. “You’re smarter than all the boulderheads back at the Dragon Lands put together. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
Spike’s assertion won him an eye roll from Ember. “That’s really not saying much. I—“
She stopped and turned to the entrance, in the direction of a growing commotion. “That had better not be because of my dragons.” Her and Spike's pace quickened.
The absence of any scaly, literal fire breathers at the scene suggested otherwise. Instead, arguing with one of the receptionists was a stallion. His coat was a light gray, dirty white color, and there was slightly more gray than brown in his mane, tail, eyebrows, and mustache, indicative of the stallion's advancing age. Like Deluxe and Fancy Pants, the grumbling stallion was a unicorn, but from his lack of formal wear, his only attire being a straw hat and a duffel bag, it was plenty clear that he was no member of the Canterlot elite, if the mid-western twang in his voice hadn't made it obvious enough.
Spike's features lit up with recognition followed swiftly by confusion, then worry. He widened his stride and quickened his steps further.
"—as it may, I cannot simply let you in without first taking down your information."
“And for the hundredth time, I'm not here to make some darn petition. I'm here to see—" The stallion looked up at the sound of Spike's approach and jabbed a hoof in Spike's direction. "Him! I'm here to see him."
"As the royal advisor to the princess, there are many who wish to see Sir Spike, and all must go through the proper channels."
The stallion opened his mouth, preparing to prolong their quarrel, when Spike jumped in. "It's fine, it's fine," he assured the receptionist and the nearby guards who were starting to gather. "I know, the rules are there for a reason, but let's make an exception just for today." He gestured to the now empty hall. "Look, it's not like we've got any other petitioners at the moment, and we've only got a couple hours left before we break for lunch anyways. I mean, you let Ember right in, right?"
Ember scoffed. "Like they could stop me."
The receptionist, the one with the bun who had confronted Duke Deluxe, shifted through her notes. "I suppose an allowance could be allowed, all circumstances considered, so long as the matter discussed does not pertain to business."
"Yeah, of course." Spike turned to the unicorn. "Er, this isn't about business, right?"
The stallion sniffed. "Now call me old fashioned, but I'd consider the martial status of my eldest daughter sort of, in a fashion, my business." From his duffel bag, he pulled out a card, one decorated with gold vines with silver flowers and doves and bells and a diamond within a flame. "Wasn't exactly thrilled to learn through the mail that she was getting hitched and I'd be getting a new son-in-law."
"Son in what now?" Ember took a threatening step forward, and to his credit, the stallion didn't flinch. "Are ponies seriously pretending to be your father now too?"
"No, no!" Spike jumped and put himself between the Dragon Lord and the stallion. "It just means I'm marrying his daughter, that's all."
Rarity's father snorted. "Hate to rain on your parade, but I think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself. See, I'm pretty sure you never got my approval."
"Your, approval?" Spike frowned as he rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, isn't that, kind of, you know, archaic?"
"Old fashioned, sure, but it's still an important sign of respect, gosh darn it. I had to get Cookie's pa to approve, my pa had to get my ma’s pa to approve, don't think you can just skate by because you're some royal hotshot."
"I didn't think, I mean, I didn't." Spike looked to his assistants, the receptionists, the guards, even to Ember for support, but most simply avoid his gaze, finding interest suddenly in the floor or something out in the distance instead, and all the Dragon Lord had to offer him was an awkward shrug.
"So, um, looks like you have this all handled, so I'm just going to go now," she announced, pointing both of her index fingers toward the opposite end of the hall. "Good luck with this whole in law thing." And with that, Ember was gone.
A few seconds passed after Ember's abrupt exit before Spike could fully recover. He cleared his throat and turned his gaze directly into Rarity's father's. "Sir, I am in love with you daughter. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, to wake up every morning and have the first thing I see be her face, her voice the first thing I hear. Please, grant me your permission to marry Rarity."
Again, the stallion snorted. "It doesn't work that way, least not in this family." Hoisting the duffel bag onto his back, he started to march out the hall, down the same path Ember had taken. "Come on, you can spare an hour, can't you?"
Spike hesitated as he glanced over to his scribes and to the receptionists. "Court is adjourned for the day," he declared before hurrying after the unicorn. "Go, uh, go home or whatever."
Despite his age, the stallion put his head start to good use, creating a good deal distance between him and Spike in that short span of time, and Spike had to take a couple of wing flaps in order to catch up. The rest of their shared journey through the palace went in a silence that Spike found himself too nervous to break even once they had stepped outside and the stone beneath their feet had transitioned to grass. He tried to read the stallion's gait, his posture, and what could be gathered from his side profile, but those features betrayed nothing.
Spike couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if that approval failed to be granted. Would the stallion try to force Spike to cancel the engagement? Well that wasn’t going to happen, not in a million years. But then, would they want to have someone who didn't approve of their union at their wedding, who could potentially raise a ruckus and would possibly object when prompted? Should they rescind the invitation? Or would he simply refuse to make an appearance, leaving Rarity to walk down the aisle unescorted?
Spike shook such imagined scenes away. None of those were acceptable options. He had to win his future father-in-law’s approval, no matter what it took. For Rarity. For their perfect day. His shoulders squared and back straightened, and his final steps before they stopped in the middle of a well manicured field right outside the royal gardens were stomped into the ground with confidence and a restored resolve.
“Hm. Guess this is good enough.” The stallion set his bag down and removed his hat before taking a moment to look around the area. “Yeah, this is good. Plenty of open space. Soft grass.” His nostrils flared as he breathed in deeply. “Ah. You know, for a big city, Canterlot’s got some nice air.” He started to rummage through the duffel bag. “Still, can’t beat Ponyville though. Me and the misses, we’ve done some traveling over the years, and there are plenty of neat places out there, but Ponyville’s something special. Perfect place to settle down, raise a family, have a couple of foals. You get it, don’t you Spike? Spent a good couple of years there, didn’t you? When we all knew Princess Twilight as that awkward librarian who lived in a tree.” He chuckled.
Spike nodded. “Definitely a lot of good memories from there.” He hesitated. “It’s where Rarity and I met.”
“Could never understand why Rarity wanted to leave Ponyville,” the stallion continued with a shake of his head. “When she was younger, she had this dream of moving here to find a prince to marry. Never had the heart to tell her how I really felt about that dream, but I’m glad she grew out of it. Wish she’d spend more time back in Ponyville though. Here, catch!”
Something hard bounced off Spike’s chest and landed at his feet. The stallion clicked his tongue in annoyance as Spike reached down to pick up the object. It was a strangely shaped ball, more like an oval with rounded tips at the two ends than the traditional shape of a sphere. Prominent white stitchings stuck out of the ball’s bumpy brown side. A quick glance to the stallion’s flank confirmed that the ball matched his cutie mark.
The stallion backed away until a good amount of distance stood between him and Spike. “Well, what are you waiting for? Toss it over.”
Spike gripped his claw around the ball, getting a feel for its shape, and flung it back. His aim was off, and the stallion had to adjust his position in order to receive it.
“Played sports much as a kid, Spike?” he asked before throwing the ball back.
“Not really,” Spike answered with a grunt as the ball’s tip struck him in the chest again. The force of the blow surprised him, having come from an older stallion, though this time, Spike managed to hold on to the ball. “I spend a lot of my childhood, well most of it really, helping Twilight in her studies.”
The ball returned to the stallion. “Well, you’re not a bad catch.”
It was Spike’s ball now. “Thanks. You’d be surprised how often that skill comes up when working with Twilight.” He threw the ball back.
“Your throw could do some work though. See if you can make the ball spin through the air, like in a spiral. Should be easy with those hands of yours.”
“Like this?”
“Better. Keep at it.”
The ball continued to travel between the two. For the next couple of minutes, the only sounds were their grunts with each throw and catch, the whizz of the ball cutting through the air, and the songs of distant birds.
“My pa and I used to go on like this for hours,” the stallion suddenly explained. “Just back and forth until the sunset, and Ma would get all upset over how cold dinner had gotten.”
“Oh yeah?” The thought of doing this for hours straight made Spike’s arm grow sore and weary.
“You know, I tried getting Rarity into this when she was still a filly, before she even had her cutie mark,” the stallion continued. “Of course, even then, she’d have none of this physical dirty stuff, so I’d thought I’d try again with her sister.” He let out a short bark of a laugh. “Sweetie Belle always idolized her sister, so no surprise there when she lost interest real quick.”
“That’s a shame,” said Spike. “It’s pretty fun, once you’ve gotten the hang of it.”
“Yeah, well, that’s parenthood for you. Sooner or later, your kids’ll want to make their own paths in life, sometimes completely separate from your own.” The ball slipped from his grasp, but he made no move to retrieve it. “They do all sort of things you find crazy, but you know they have to do them. Sure, you can say no and try to slow them down, but in the end you know you can’t stop them, and eventually, maybe you’ll even stop wanting to.” At last, he picked up the ball. “Still, knowing all that doesn’t exactly make it hurt any less when they get further and further away from you.”
Spike remained silent for the next couple of exchanges of the ball as he considered the stallion’s words. Nothing he could think of felt appropriate, so he bit his lip and nodded as he sent the ball back.
“Cookie and Sweetie Belle love you, Spike, they see you as part of the family. Me, I know you’re a good one.” The stallion held onto the ball a little while longer before returning it. “Still, to be honest, when Rarity said the two of you were dating, I wasn’t sure what to think. I figured that maybe she realized she was starting to slow down and went to the first guy who would give her any attention.” His face fell, and he shook his head with a sigh before the next toss. “Stupid, right? I should’ve known better. Rarity doesn’t settle.”
The ball went wide, forcing Spike to run back and dive face first to make the catch. He still missed anyways, and the ball bounced off a little ways away.
“I’m still not happy about having to learn about Rarity’s engagement through a wedding invitation,” the stallion said after Spike had scrambled to grab the ball and returned to his original spot. “But I understand the two of you are adults with busy lives, and there’s no place for an old coot like myself to be mucking them about. Still would have been nice to be included though,” he added.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Once again, he held onto the ball instead of immediately throwing it back. “Look, like I said, I know you’re a good one, and I know my Rarity’s a smart one, especially compared to me. My approval doesn’t mean squat compared to her judgment. Heck, it took me a few months just to realize that and another month to work up the courage to come see you to talk about all this.” He stared sternly and intensely into Spike’s eyes. “Here’s the deal. I trust my little girl. Can I trust you to make sure she’s right about all this?”
Spike nodded, his face set in determination. “I promise you, sir, I will do everything to make Rarity the happiest mare in Equestria and beyond.” He let a smile touch his features. “As happy as she has made me, if that were possible.”
The stallion let the ball drop and smiled back as he held out his forelegs toward Spike. “I’ll hold you to it, Son.”
It was a place of utter contrast and confusion. On the one hand, Rarity was as comfortable and content as she would have been in her own home, for it had been exactly that for a significant portion of her life. By her own hooves and ingenuity, she had built up Carousel Boutique, pouring in her tears, sweat, and blood, all figuratively of course, into her craft until it became the thriving business it was today. This little store was where it all began, the seed that grew into the mighty fashion empire she now ran. Sister and daughter stores like Canterlot Boutique and Rarity for You and so many more now dwelled in just about every major settlement of Equestria and beyond, but for a time, there was only Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s humble little dress shop in the humble little town of Ponyville.
And yet, it did not feel like her store, not entirely. The overall layout of the building was about the same, though the place had been renovated and expanded over the years, but here and there were little details that she could not recognize. The stairs were a tad wider than she remembered, the wallpaper on one side of a room not quite what she would have picked, there were pictures and knickknacks decorating the walls and tables that were not hers, and on the displays, between some of her most popular pieces, were dresses that she herself had not designed.
And then there was her current position, up on a raised stage, posing at the directions of another as they measured her with a strip of segmented tape. Rarity had always been more used to being the one holding the measuring tape, and she couldn’t help but feel a trifle bit uncomfortable with the role reversal, even if the one doing her usual job was one she knew and trusted.
With the tape still in her teeth, the yak started to grunt out something, but seeing Rarity’s eyes widen and the mare frantically shake her head, the yak stopped and instead took the notepad out of her assistant’s grasp and jotted down Rarity’s measurements herself.
“So, um, I’ve been itching to say something for the past hour,” the light-lime stallion with a messy mane of light cyan and turquoise green said, scratching the back of his head. “Just wanted to address the elephant in the room.”
“No, Yona doesn’t think Rarity needs to lose weight at all. Rarity’s waist healthy. Dress’ll look good, especially the rear part. No elephants here.”
“Not, remotely what I was gonna say,” Sandbar said as Rarity, her face growing pink, struggled to keep herself from checking her behind in the full length mirror. “I meant.” The earth pony waved his hoof weakly as if trying to prompt himself. “I mean, I’m not the only one finding this weird, am I? Like, you, coming to us, for your wedding dress?” He started to laugh but stopped himself. “Sorry, it’s just, I’d have thought you would’ve wanted to make the dress yourself.”
Rarity finished Sandbar’s laugh which tapered off into a sigh. “That had been the original plan, but, well, it’s a rather embarrassing story.” She nodded to a large open notebook on the table with several strips of colored paper stick out between the pages. Upon the current page opened to the world was a sketch of a dress, strapless and with a corset around the torso that transitioned into a long flowing train as it continued down to the hindquarters. “Perhaps it was just something too personal, but the project was getting too distracting, and at the same time it wasn’t something I could maintain my focus on. I kept bouncing between different designs and concepts, trying out all these new experimental ideas, seeing if certain styles could blend together. It was all so directionless. I had no idea what I actually wanted.
“Spike managed to convinced me to turn this over to someone else after I had spent an entire evening seeing if I could make feathers work with southern Equestrian satins and completely missed the dinner we had planned with my parents months in advanced.” The unicorn shook her head and frowned. “It was our first major disagreement since our engagement. I can still see how horrified and panicked he looked when he kicked in the door to my messy studio, looking for me.”
“Yikes,” Sandbar said with a low whistle. “Still, that can’t have been easy, giving something like this up like that. I can think of some creatures out there that might’ve had a harder time accepting help.” He looked to Yona with a smirk, and in reply he received a snort and a sharp flick of the yak’s tail to his nose.
“Yes, well, I couldn’t exactly come up with a compelling disagreement when the project was causing me to lose sleep and my other activities to suffer,” Rarity acknowledged with a small pout. “I suppose this may be why bakers don’t tend to make their own wedding cakes. But at least now I can rest easy knowing that the matter is in the capable hooves of someone I know and trust.” Rarity nodded to Yona which caused the yak to beam with pride. “I might still want to design the dresses for the bridesmaids, however. With the main bride’s dress as a basis, I should be able to focus if there’s something to keep everything centered around.”
“Yona welcomes the challenge,” Yona announced with a stomp on the ground and a pound on her chest. “Bridesmaids dresses by Rarity will be beautiful, no doubt, but Yona will make sure that dress for bride is best of all. Rarity will wear prettiest dress, Yona promises.”
“Well, that will be one more thing to look forward to on that day,” Rarity said before letting out a giddy giggle. “Oh, apologies. I’m just, this is honestly still so exciting. I’ve made so many dresses for weddings and brides before, but to be having one made for myself, and knowing what’s to come, I can hardly contain myself.” She took in a breath to calm herself. “Ahem. Oh, these next few months of waiting will be torture.”
“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Sandbar looked over to Yona with another smirk. “It’ll give us time to figure out what the prettiest dress is supposed to look like.”
“Yona already knows!” the yak declared, but her confident grin wavered after a moment, and she glanced to the table where the stuffed sketchbook rested. “But, Yona appreciates having Rarity’s notes. Will make prettiest dress even prettier.”
“Of course.” Rarity stepped down from the stage. “And again, thank you. I should be able to sleep soundly now that I know the two of you will be handling this matter.” Putting on her coat, she let Yona and Sandbar lead her out of her old store. They shared a wave, and after sparing the boutique one more glance, basking in the nostalgia that came with the sight of decorative poles and prancing models, Rarity headed back into town. She hadn’t gotten far before the chime of the town’s clocktower rang out, signaling the closing of the hour.
Looking up at the grand old timepiece, Rarity frowned. The measuring procedure and reconnection with her old students had taken longer than she had expected. She had hoped to pay Starlight Glimmer a friendly visit at the School of Friendship before her appointment with Sweetie Belle, maybe even take a quick tour of the campus to see what was new, but now there was no time. Perhaps at a later date, she decided as she started making her way to the local spa where her sister was no doubt impatiently waiting.
Sandbar continued to watch from the window as Rarity slowly disappeared from his view. “Ooh boy,” he muttered as he tugged at the collar of his vest. “This, is huge.”
“Hm? Sandbar say something?”
“Just, talking to myself,” the stallion said weakly. “You know, wondering if we’re really qualified to be making the wedding dress for one of the greatest minds in fashion history.” His attempt at a chuckle came out as more of a cough. “I mean, no pressure, right?”
“Of course Sandbar and Yona qualified,” Yona answered. “Rarity not give task if Rarity not think we best. Yona believe in Rarity, and Rarity believed in Yona and Sandbar.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. Oh gosh, I hope you’re right.” Sandbar clapped his cheeks with his front hooves. “Alright then, I guess Rarity’s sketchbook’d be our best starting point.”
Yona nodded her agreement, and the two started to return to the boutique’s parlor when they were stopped by a loud knock at the front door. A second knock swiftly followed the first, then several more in succession. Both turned to the other with a look of wariness before both started toward the door. Sandbar was quicker but not by enough to matter as Yona simply nudged her way to the door ahead of her partner and opened it, ready to receive their sudden and apparently frantic guest
The tall cloaked figure lifted their hood to reveal a scaly purple snout. “Can I come in?” the two heard Spike say, and after another glance to each other, the two made room for the dragon.
“Thanks,” Spike said, his hood now fully removed as he breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Hey?” Sandbar greeted, though his tone made it seem like more of a question. “What’s with the getup? You on a secret mission or something? Wait, don’t tell me!” He threw his hooves over his ears. “Plausible deniability! Plausible deniability!”
Spike shook his head as Yona rolled her eyes and forced Sandbar to lower his forelegs. “It’s not like that. I’m just, trying to keep a low profile. Especially since Rarity is in town. Not exactly the easiest thing to do when you’re a dragon. Did she come by here earlier by any chance?”
Yona answered with a nod. “Spike just missed Rarity.” Her eyes narrowed. “Why Spike avoiding Rarity?”
“It’s, a little hard to explain,” Spike said with a wince. “Just, okay, so I’m guessing Rarity already talked to you about making the dress for our wedding, yes?”
The two nodded. “Great, perfect. Here.” Spike pulled a bulging sack from his cloak and held it out to Yona. Both her and Sandbar’s eyes widened as Yona opened the bag and found it stuffed with gold coins and a large assortment of diamonds and gems. “This should cover materials and labor and everything, but I can get you more if needed,” the dragon said. “Rarity’s going to want to pay for the dress. Whatever you do, don’t let her worry about the price. Make something up about it being a gift or that you can use the opportunity to advertise or something, but if she insists, don’t fight her but keep the price modest.”
“I mean, couldn’t we just tell her you already paid for it?” Sandbar asked, his eyebrow cocked.
“Don’t,” Spike responded with a grim look on his face. “We agreed that she would handle everything involving the dress part, and, well, look, just trust me on this. I’m just, I don’t want her to worry, especially after seeing how stressed she got over trying to design the dress herself.” He folded his hands atop each other and turned between Yona and Sandbar, his eyes meeting one set before moving to the eyes of the other. “This day is going to be her perfect day, and I want to make sure there’s not an ounce of stress in her that might take anything away from it. Understand?”
There was another exchange of glances between Yona and Sandbar before Yona put away the payment and Sandbar gave a little shrug. “Er, sure. Yeah, I think we can manage that.”
“Good, good. Um, so, there’s just one more thing.” Spike placed a claw around the back of his neck and looked away. “I need to see the dress before Rarity does.”
“Er, what?”
“What?”
The two exclamations were almost simultaneous, and under the brunt of their combined confusion, Spike shrunk back. It was a sight to behold, the dragon who stood taller than even the full grown yak now cowering before her and her smaller pony companion.
“I know, I know,” Spike assured, holding up his hands with his palms opened out toward them. “I get it, it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride’s dress before the wedding day.”
“That true?” Yona whispered to Sandbar who made a noncommittal noise that accompanied his expression of uncertainty, with one end of his mouth lifted up while the other end stayed grounded, turning his pressed lips into an ascending diagonal line.
“Eh, you know. It’s one of those weird superstitions,” Sandbar responded. “Like black cats always landing on their feet unless attached to buttered toast, or something.” The slanted line of his lips curved into a full frown as he turned back to Spike with an eyebrow raised. “But speaking of weird, um, you wanting to see the wedding dress before Rarity gets to? Yeah, that’s weird.”
“Look, it’s, it’s the same deal as before,” Spike explained, the gestures of his hands driven by evident frustration. “I want everything to be perfect for her, you know, and, well, can you imagine how Rarity might react if the dress you gave her, her wedding dress of all dresses, was one that she hated?” The dragon shuddered.
“Not possible,” Yona said with a frown of her own. “Yona dresses all good dresses. Rarity will like dress from Yona.”
“Sure, sure. I mean, Rarity wouldn’t have gone to you if she didn’t think you were up to the task. But, it’s just in case,” Spike said, this time his hands moving more in a pleading motion. “Please, some extra feedback can’t hurt, and it’ll put my mind at ease at least knowing that Rarity’ll be completely happy with her dress.”
“You sure you’d know what Rarity would like?” Sandbar questioned. “Because it sure sounded like even she wasn’t sure about what she wanted in a dress.”
“I’ve worked with her long enough to pick up one or two things, and you don’t get very far with a mare if you can’t recognize her preferences and dislikes.” Spike’s prideful grin quickly returned to a worried grimace. “I know I’m meddling here, but please. Help me help Rarity.”
Sandbar looked to Yona for an answer, and the yak let out a tired huff as her broad shoulders sagged. “Yona not think Spike bothering will help much, but Yona suppose Spike can see dress first.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Spike said with a sigh. He clasped his claws over Yona’s shoulders before pulling her into a hug. He did the same to Sandbar. “And not a word of this to Rarity, alright?”
“Got it.” Sandbar winced. “I mean, I’m not exactly sure how I feel about keeping Rarity in the dark like this—“
“Feels dirty,” Yona said glumly.
“—but we’ll keep quiet. So, uh.” Sandbar looked Spike over. “What about a new suit? You gonna need one? Maybe something that’ll match the dress?”
“It’s being taken care of elsewhere,” Spike said. He started toward the door. “I feel like you’ve got enough on your plate, so just focus on Rarity’s dress. Let me know once you’ve got a design ready.”
The hood went back over the dragon’s head. Spike gave Carousel Boutique’s current caretakers one last nod and wave before exiting the store and stepping outside. The moment the door closed behind him, Spike’s entire body appeared to droop, as if the exhausted sigh he let out was causing him to deflate. He leaned against the shop’s wall to prop himself up as he lifted his head, and with eyes closed, he groaned. Reaching into his cloak, he pulled out another sack, though this one was much smaller than the one that had held Yona and Sandbar’s payment. From it Spike removed a handful of small turquoises, green emeralds, and purple amethysts, all no larger than a segment of Spike’s finger. The gems were immediately thrown into the dragon’s mighty maw and vanished with a satisfying crunch. A second handful soon joined the first.
“Spikey? Is that you?”
Spike nearly choked on his snack at the sound of a familiar voice, and he scrambled to stand up straight. “H-hey, Rarity,” the dragon said, forcing a grin at the unicorn. “Er, sorry.” Spike quickly brushed his teeth against the back of his arm as Rarity wiped off the bits of gem gravel off her face. “Um, fancy meeting you here of all places. Uh, you, uh, finish your day with Sweetie, oh, hi, Sweetie Belle.”
A second unicorn joined the first. Like Rarity, the mare had a white coat, and her mane was styled in curls, though her curls were less distinct and had a bit of a puff to them, giving her a more fluffy innocent appearance than the sensual maturity that Rarity’s mane commanded. The unicorn’s mane was a mix of light pink and mild mulberry in contrast to Rarity’s violet, and there was an apparent lack of gray.
“Hi, Spike. Or should I start calling you Big Bro?” Sweetie said with a grin while her actual older sibling rolled her eyes.
“Come now, are you going to greet him that way every time?” Rarity asked. “Surely you must be getting sick of that joke.”
“Mom and Dad still thinks it’s funny,” Sweetie replied with a small pout before returning her attention to her future brother-in-law. “So what are you doing here? Because honestly, it kind of looks like you’re planning on robbing the boutique.”
“Yeah, I know,” Spike said, sighing. “I was trying to avoid drawing attention. Everypony makes a huge deal when I’m around because me being here must mean the Princess should be around too, but it’s not exactly easy to disguise yourself when you’re, you know, a dragon.”
Sweetie Belle smirked. “Have you tried wearing a fake mustache?”
“Knew I forgot something,” Spike said with an exaggerated gasp as he threw a hand over his face. They shared a smile.
“Hm, if I had known you were planning to visit Ponyville, perhaps we could have come up with a proper disguise.” Rarity tapped her chin. “I’ve camouflaged myself as a dragon, I can’t see why, with some time, I couldn’t turn you into a pony.”
“Hey, whoa.” Spike held up his claws. “That’s fine, no need for that. I don’t want to take up any of your sister bonding time. Speaking of which, how was the spa? That, was the plan, wasn’t it?”
Rarity rolled her eyes for a second time as Sweetie Belle looked away sheepishly. “Well, as it turns out, dear Sweetie here forgot that the spa was closed today to take care of some maintenance, so now our plans are currently in flux. What about you, dear?” she asked, her head tilting to the side. “I can’t recall if you had anything scheduled in Ponyville today.”
“Oh. Um, well.” Spike’s eyes wandered about as his head started to swivel around. “I was, um, going to, see—“
A group of giggling schoolfillies ran by, all holding caramelized apples on sticks.
“Apples! Er, I mean, Applejack. I’m here to see Applejack.” Spike leaned his head back against the palm of his claw as he forced out a laugh. “Yeah, you know, just making sure everything on the catering end is going smoothly, seeing if there are any ingredients she might be having a hard time getting a hold of that I might be able to help with. You know, that sort of stuff.”
“Oh, so Applejack’s taking care of the food, huh?” Sweetie Belle’s grin widened as she licked her lips. “I was a little worried when you said the wedding was going to be in Canterlot. Don’t get me wrong, those royal chefs can make some pretty good food, but they’re all so tiny.” To demonstrate, Sweetie held out her hooves so that there was about half an inch between them. “It’s pretty much impossible to get a full meal out of that without looking like a glutton. But, um, I get that you’re excited over this and everything, but don’t you think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself? I really doubt anything you start making now’ll stay fresh for the wedding.”
“There’s more to catering than baking a pretty cake, Sweetie,” said Rarity. “There’s menu planning, making sure there’s enough of a variety to please the palates of all the guests, ensuring that all the necessary supplies will be ready in time, shipping and handling, equipment maintenance, coordinating baking times so that everything will be ready together.” She turned to Spike. “I’m confident Applejack can take care of most of that on her own, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate the extra assistance. Hm, perhaps I should come with you.”
“No, no! That’s alright,” Spike hurriedly assured, waving his hands. “I mean, you have your thing, you know, with your sister. And that’s important, real important. Siblings are so important, family, relationships. Right?” He swung his arm in a jerky motion, bending it at the elbow and bring his fist to his shoulder. “You two should finish your day together. Have fun. Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Whoa, hey!” Spike looked up and pointed at the clocktower. “Well, hey, would you look at the time. I should really get going, don’t want to keep Applejack waiting. Or, you know, keep you from, whatever the two of you were planning now.”
“Hm, well, alright then.” Rarity gave Spike a small smile. “Try not to work too hard, alright darling? I love you.”
“Uh huh, sure, great. Love you, bye!”
A few seconds passed before Sweetie Belle coughed, and Rarity reluctantly opened her eyes to see Spike fly off. Her pressed and presented lips, now cold from being exposed out in the air, turned into a pout. Her dissatisfied sigh was suddenly interrupted as her dragon suddenly returned and lowered his head over hers, the hood of his cloak now draped over both of their faces as he planted a long and hard kiss. The kiss broke with an audible smack, and as she watched Spike disappear once more into the sky, Rarity brought her hoof to her still warm lips.
Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, rolled her eyes and nudged her sister along. “Come on, Rarity, save it for the wedding. Even my tolerance for this sort of thing has a limit.”
If barrels could quake on their own volition, they certainly would have done so under the intense scrutinizing glare of the dragon who marched before their rows. At each one, Spike would drop to his knees and throw his claws upon the container’s wooden surface, tracing the polished lines as he searched for warps and imperfections. He tugged at the lids, each marked with crisscrossing bright yellow tape, to ensure that the seal was in place before giving the barrel a light push to test its weight. Finally, there was the label on the barrel’s side. Spike would rub his knuckles against the drawn image of an apple in a see-through tankard and check for any smearing of ink and if the sticker’s adhesive had survived contact. Once satisfied, the dragon would stand back up, jot something down on his notepad, and repeat the process with the next barrel.
The pegasus standing nearby let out a groan. “Come on, are you seriously going to do this with every single one of them?” grumbled Rainbow Dash.
“You asked me that less than a minute ago,” Spike said without bothering to look up from his examination. “And the answer is still yes.”
“Oh come on. I told you, I already made sure they were all good and ready.” Rainbow lowered her voice. “If they weren’t, I wouldn’t still be waiting for a taste.”
“Maybe you being on quality control is why he’s so careful here,” Applejack said, her short chortle getting Rainbow’s tongue stuck at her in response. “Don’t worry none, I was there too. All them barrels are tighter than bark on a tree and fuller than the moon on Nightmare Night.”
“Uh huh,” Spike muttered as he continued his extensive inspection.
Applejack’s smirk turned to a frown as she and Rainbow shared a look of confusion, annoyance, and a good amount of impatience. “Listen, Spike, we’ve been working on this catering business nearly all morning now.” Her thoughts briefly went to the charts, diagrams, and lists that had occupied her kitchen table. “What’s say we take a break.” She nudged the barrel behind her, this one lacking the tape and the labels that the ones Spike was looking over had. “Besides, we haven’t tested the most important part yet.” She opened a spout near the barrel’s base, allowing its tangy brown contents to flow into the waiting cup underneath. “Seeing how the batch tastes.”
Her eyes barely caught the rainbow blur that flew by as the cup was snatched out of her hooves. “Finally,” exclaimed Rainbow Dash, ignoring Applejack’s glare as she dove her snout deep into the mug. Loud slurps and muffled ecstatic moans could be heard coming out of the cup while Applejack prepared two additional mugs of cider and held one out temptingly toward Spike.
A long moment passed before Spike slowly stood up and dusted off his knees. “Yeah, yeah alright,” he said and accepted the mug. “I guess we have been at this for a while now, huh?” He tried to smile. “Sorry. I just—“
Rainbow pulled her face, matted and stained with sticky fruit juice, out of her cup. “Want all this to be perfect. Yeah, we know. You said that, what, five times in the last hour?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Well this cider’s pretty dang perfect.” She turned to Applejack and held up her cup in a toast for about half a second before losing herself in it once more.
Applejack raised her own mug toward Spike, and after they had knocked their cups against each other, they followed Rainbow’s lead and drank. The sweet, familiar taste of apples quickly filled Applejack’s mouth as the fizziness excited the whole surface of her tongue with each pop. The bubbly drink tickled her throat as it carried the first mouthful of cider down to her belly where it finally settled, and she was about to send down the second gulp when she stopped herself and looked to her guest.
Spike’s cheeks puffed out as he swished the cider between the two sides of his mouth. His nostrils flared and shrunk with each deep breath as his eyes narrowed and even crossed in concentration. He finally swallowed after a good few seconds, which seemed to take even more seconds as Applejack watched the lump in the dragon’s throat descend so very slowly.
“Er, Spike?” Applejack said, her tone a mix of confusion and concern. “You alright there?
“Huh? Oh!” Spike nodded. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. The cider’s good. Real good. Great.” He grinned, banishing the last of the stupor Applejack had spotted him in.
“Of course it’s great. It’s Applejack’s cider.” Rainbow Dash had once again exited her mug that everyone could see was now empty as she held it up over her head and tried to catch the last drops on her tongue. “The problem is that there’s always never enough to go around.”
Spike stepped forward, putting himself between Rainbow and his marked barrels, but the pegasus simply handed her mug to Applejack who refilled it from her separate container. “We keep growing, having more trees, getting more apples, hiring more workers, but it just don’t seem like we can meet demand.” Applejack shook her head and snorted. “Funny how that all works. Anyways, those ought to be enough for the wedding. I can hold onto them til then and just bring them with me when I head into Canterlot to help with the rest of the eats.”
“Actually, I’ve already arranged for them to be delivered to the castle at the end of the week. Though I should see if I can move that date up a few days. To tomorrow.”
Applejack followed Spike’s gaze to the pegasus too busy guzzling down her drink to notice their stares. The farmer chuckled. “Yeah. Don’t worry, we’ve got some experience keeping varmint out of our produce, but I guess the extra distance plus a secured storage room and castle full of guards and whatever else can’t hurt. You can pick up your cider whenever, they’re yours.”
“Right.” Spike finished the rest of his cup with one great swig. “Well, let’s get back to work. Still got to make sure they’re all—“
There was a buzz, and the band strapped around Spike’s wrist started flashing different colors in sequence. “Oh, shoot.”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s that about?” Rainbow gestured to the glowing bracelet. “Rarity got you into accessorizing now or something?”
Huh? Oh, no, it’s not that.” Spike held up his wrist for all to see. “With all these wedding preparations on top of my regular duties, I’ve had so much to keep track of. I went to Starlight to see if she could make me a clone since Twilight wouldn’t, and I guess cloning your friends for convenience sake is now considered unethical because she refused too.”
“Yeah, shame. Hey, have you noticed that Starlight’s been more of a stickler for the rules ever since she took over the School of Friendship?” Rainbow turned to Applejack. “Can you even remember when was the last time she magically brainwashed a pony?”
“Different era now,” Applejack answered with a shrug. “Guess that ain’t all that acceptable anymore. But what does have to do with that there glowing bracelet?”
“Well Starlight gave this to me instead. It acts as an instant communicator. It’s a little wonky, but whenever somepony, well, somepony that’s been granted permission, needs to see me, it flashes,” Spike explained. “Beats trying to teach everypony how to send letters through my fire anyways. Now, uh, let’s see here.” He returned his attention to the flashing band. “That’s two blues, a red, another blue, a green. Oh! That’s Yona and Sandbar.”
He slammed his notepad shut. “I need to get going, might be important. Probably important. Of course it’s important, it’s about the dress, what else would it be about?” Spike was muttering. “I’ll try to be back later, but if I can’t.” He pointed to the notepad. “I’ve got all the important stuff in here. If you can think of anything else you might need, let me know ASAP. Otherwise, the castle kitchens will be ready for you by the time you arrive.”
“Will do,” Applejack said with a nod. “And try not to be a stranger, you hear? We missed you at our last couple of get-togethers.”
Spike responded with an absentminded nod as with a wave he ran out of the barn and took off. With his franticness lending wind to his wings, it didn’t take long before Ponyville proper came into sight, and he quickly found the distinctive structure that was Carousel Boutique. In his rush, Spike’s landing was a near crash at the store’s doorstep, and he hadn’t even finished brushing the dirt off his hands and knees before he started to pound at the door.
The door was opened by a tired looking Sandbar, his vest and face wrinkled and his eyes heavy with shadows. At Spike’s appearance, the stallion’s features lit up slightly as Sandbar attempted a smile.
“Oh, hey. You’re here already?” he said. “Huh, that was quick.”
“Yeah, I was actually at Sweet Apple Acres when I got your message.” Spike followed Sandbar inside. “So, got any news about the dress? I know Rarity came by a few days ago. She was fine with our final design, right?”
“Oh yeah, she was real happy, she barely made any changes, so Yona went straight to work. It’s pretty much done, besides the finally fitting and some extra decorations.” Sandbar let out a long and exhaustive breath. “Got to say, I don’t think I’ve ever been so stressed over a project before, and we’ve had to handle single day deadlines for crazy complicated orders.”
“Let me guess, pop stars?”
“Close. Boy bands.” Sandbar shuddered as he walked Spike past the displays of merchandise and into a dark workroom In the back. In the center there was a large white sheet covering what Spike assumed, based on the bulge, was a pony shaped mannequin. A loud growl drew Spike to a corner where he found Yona slumped in an armchair, snoring away peacefully. A quilt laid at the base of the chair, crumbled up in a messy pile.
“Did you two stay up all night working? You know we still have a few months, right? I don’t want you two making mistakes because you feel like you have to rush.”
“Yeah, I know, but Yona got in the zone, and when she in the zone, she like a stampeding, uh, yak. There’s no stopping her. And it wasn’t all night.” Sandbar covered his mouth with a hoof as he stifled his yawn. “It got pretty late, yeah, but we still got a good few hours of shuteye.”
Sandbar walked over to a covered window and threw aside the curtains, filling the room with daylight. A stray sunbeam struck Yona in the face, inciting a startled snort as the yak’s eyes flew open. With a yell and some panicked waving, she slid out of her chair and landed with an audible thud.
“Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty,” Sandbar greeted with a grin as a groaning Yona rubbed at her eyes. “Spike’s here, and you get one guess to why.”
“Spike, here? Now?” Yona slapped her cheeks hard and got back onto her hooves. She turned to face the dragon, stomping as she rotated her entire body towards Spike. “Spike here for dress?”
“You know it,” Spike said, nodding as he rubbed his hands together. “Come on, Sandbar’s got me all excited. I’ve got to see it now. It, is ready, isn’t?”
“Of course,” Yona exclaimed, slamming her chest. “Yona dresses always ready, always good. Yona make Spike and Rarity proud.” She hurried over to covered mannequin and grabbed the sheet. She started to pull but suddenly stopped and turned to Spike with an uncertain expression, her prideful grin now a worried frown.
“Um, Spike sure want to see dress before wedding day?” the yak asked. “Yona talk to Rarity. Rarity also say it bad luck for Spike to see dress. Spike okay with bad luck?”
“Yes, yes! Could you please get on with it?” Spike demanded, throwing his hands out toward the white sheet in the center. “I’m dying in anticipation here.”
Yona turned to Sandbar, and when his only response was a nonchalant shrug, Yona cleared her throat and flung off the sheet. Her previous pride returned in full force, causing her to turn up her nose into the air in triumph as she watched Spike’s eyes widen and his jaw drop at the sight of the model and its attire.
Sewn beads arranged in the shape of diamonds and flowers adorned the front of the dress that was supported by a single strap composed of multiple lacy layers stacked on one another upon the left shoulder, leaving the right one and much of the neck line exposed. The cream white sleeves extended down to the mannequin’s fetlocks where the golden trimmed ends opened widely, like the sleeves of a robe. A purple silk sash was tied to the waist of the dress from which a long train rolled out, its tiered sections billowing like that of a ballroom gown.
“So, what do you think?” Sandbar asked, poking Spike in his side. “Not too shabby, eh?”
Yona let out a snort. “Yona not make shabby. Yona dresses always best. Dress for Rarity is best dress.”
Spike picked up his fallen jaw. “Do you have our design notes on you right now?”
Sandbar nodded to a workbench to the side. A sketchbook sat on the bench, open to a page that had a drawn out depiction of the completed dress before them with various written notes around it. “Over there.”
Spike made his way over and brought the book back with him. His gaze alternated between the wedding dress and its blueprint as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. “The beading,” he suddenly said, shoving the book into Sandbar’s forelegs.
“Huh?”
“There’s too much beading,” Spike declared. He walked over to the model and motioned to the mannequin’s chest. “It looks great, yeah, but the front’s now too top heavy. See how it’s sagging here?”
The two had to squint to notice the couple inches of space between the fabric of the dress’s front and the fabric of the mannequin’s cloth body.
“I want to keep the one strap, it looks really good, but I’m not comfortable with it being the only support here. Hm, maybe make a second one see through or cover it up under a flower or something. Hm, no. A corset, maybe?”
“Uh, is it really that big a deal?” Sandbar asked as he and Yona shared a skeptical glance. “I mean, it’s not sagging that much.”
“What if that extra weight causes it to slip off while Rarity’s making her way down the aisle? Do you know how embarrassing that would be?” Spike shook his head. “Better not risk it, so let’s go with, one fifth, yeah, one fifth less beading and see how that looks.”
“Alright then. That should be a pretty easy fix, right?” Sandbar looked to Yona who nodded.
“And we’ll have to shorten these sleeves,” Spike continued, lowering himself to offending feature’s level. “They’re too close to the ground, Rarity might trip over them or they might get grass stains. Either we’ll have to raise them up to here.” Spike pulled the sleeves up to the elbows. “Or tighten opening’s widths. Shrinking the sleeves’ openings might actually look better, now that I think about it.”
“Well, I guess—“
“Same with the bottom half.” Spike stood up and walked behind the mannequin. “The ball gown style is a classic and all, but this is too much. It’s a walking hazard right now. We need to shorten the train or add some more support to hold the train up. Actually, no, that might end up making the backside look fat.”
“It—“
“Let’s see if a different style will work better. Maybe something more of a sheath or a mermaid. Oh, and can we please talk about the color?”
Yona’s frown darkened into a scowl. “What wrong with color?”
“It’s still too similar to Rarity’s own. We need to go at least two or three shades darker, maybe add a bit of blue to it. Also, what is this?” Spike pinched a section of the front part between his fingers and rubbed. “Is this cotton? I thought agreed on chiffon or satin. You know, something light. We don’t want it to get too hot for her.”
“So that’s the front, the back, the sleeves, the color, and the material. Anything else wrong?” Sandbar said, his voice deadpanned and steady as Yona’s lips continued to press tightly against each other.
“No, other than all that, it’s a fine dress, good, great even. It’s just not, well, perfect. Here, let’s just go over everything one more time and try—“
Spike’s wrist was starting to flash. He frowned at the band, his eyes narrowing in concentration as he watched the sequence play out. “Red, blue, red, red, green. That’ll be Fancy Pants and the gala planning committee.” He lowered his hand and returned his attention to Yona and Sandbar. “They can wait, this is more important right now. We—“
A new sequence flashed across the dragon’s wrist. With a sigh, he lifted his wrist back up to check the glowing band. “That’s, uh, I can’t remember. I’ll figure it out once I’m back in Canterlot. Now anyways, it’s a good thing we caught all this before Rarity had to—“
The remainder of the sentence was garbled and lost in a sudden series of gasps and heaves and guttural choking sounds. Spike’s claws threw over his mouth and his throat as his shoulders started to shake. Sandbar and Yona spared each other a quick concerned look before stepping toward the choking dragon, but Spike waved them away seconds before releasing a spurt of green flames from his mouth. Heat and alarmed yells filled the workroom as Yona and Sandbar dove for cover, and when the two felt the surrounding temperature cool after a short moment and dared to peek, they saw that a small scroll had manifested from dispersing flames.
“Sorry, sorry! Normally I get more of a warning before that happens,” Spike said as he caught the scroll and started to unravel it. “Let’s see here. Looks like it’s from Twilight. Huh, it’s pretty short.” Spike’s intrigued expression shifted into a frown as his gaze reached the scroll’s bottom, and he made the parchment disappear with another breath of fire.
“Um, so, sorry about this, but I’m going to have to cut this short. There’s some kind of emergency happening back at the castle, and I need to be there, um, now.” Spike started to approach the room’s exit when he stopped and turned back to his hosts. “You’ve got everything down right? I’ll try to be back as soon as I can, but maybe if you could get started on those fixes, I don’t really know how long this emergency is going to take to resolve, so.” Spike gestured to the rejected dress, so proudly displayed in room’s center. “But yeah, other than those details, you did good.”
The yak’s brow furrowed with confused frustration. “But Spike only have complaints for dress. Make it sound like Yona and Sandbar should start dress all over now.”
“Yep. Great. Keep up the great job! See you when I see you,” Spike said, jabbing his index fingers out toward Yona and Sandbar as he backed his way out of the room before turning and breaking into a mad dash out of the boutique.
Spike immediately took off with two great beats of his wings and continued to shoot himself through the air with each consecutive flap. His vision blurred, forcing him to squint as the brisk wind cut against his scales while the clouds he recklessly punched through coated him in condensation.
Spike’s teeth clenched together tightly, the force of pressure upon his body increasing as a result of his unchecked acceleration. Whatever Twilight wanted, he thought to himself, it had better truly be important. The contents of her brief letter certainly made it sound like the direst of emergencies, but Spike couldn’t help but recall her numerous past overreactions, whether due to perceived tests, potentially overdue books, or tardiness. Actually, the thought of a repeat of the Smarty Pants incident but in a city as large as Canterlot gave Spike an extra kick of panic induced adrenaline, and it wasn’t long before Spike could spot the spires of the royal palace, the sight of which spurred him on further.
As far as Spike could tell, nothing was on fire yet, a good sign for sure, but as he got closer and readied himself for a fast and rough landing, he noted the hectic scramble below. Groundskeepers and guards ran in every which direction, their cries filling the air. Spike flipped over, his wings furiously beating now to slow his descent, and though he still hit the ground hard, it was on his feet and not on top of any creature else.
Spike took a second to shake the moisture off his body and return feeling to his limbs before running up to one of the passing guards. “What’s going on?” he demanded as he kept pace. “Where’s the princess?”
The guard’s face instantly lit up with recognition and relief. “Sir Spike,” the young stallion breathed, his spear nearly slipping out of his hold as he attempted a clumsy salute. “There’s something, a monster! In the gardens! The princess is trying to contain it!”
“Twilight fighting monsters in the gardens, got it,” said Spike with a short nod. “I’m headed there now. You, go regroup with your squad or captain or whoever you directly answer to and, uh, wait for further instructions.”
“Yes sir!” The guard saluted again and ran off while Spike gave his wings a quick test flap, winced, and decided instead to rush to the palace’s gardens on foot.
The scene that awaited him was not a pretty one. Large chunks of the once manicured lawn had been torn out of the ground, covering the rest of the grass in dirt. Pieces of tree bark and broken branches laid scattered about, some even impaled in the earth, along with sections of ruined shrubbery and despoiled flower blossoms. Multiple stampedes of monkeys, bears, and birds of all shapes and colors were in process as their pony caretakers and the guards assisting them struggled to maintain order.
“Fine time for Gallus to be on vacation,” Spike muttered to himself. “Where is his substitute?” He was about to attempt the impossible task of getting somepony’s attention away from the ongoing mess long enough to provide a more thorough explanation when he heard a loud snap. He turned toward the sound just in time to see a large tree deeper in the gardens start to shake, then fall with a thunderous, ground shaking slam. Well it was the best clue he had, and so Spike made his way in that direction, navigating through the debris and streams of animals in his path.
The destruction grew worse the further he got into the gardens, with even more plant matter strewn about haphazardly and long, deep gashes in the ground, a horrifying hint to the sort of creature that had caused this horrible wreckage. Spike bent down to examine the marks more closely, trying to remember his and Twilight’s old studies on mystical beasts, but his attention was stolen by the familiar shrill sound of magic missiles launching through the air. He looked up, and there was Twilight, darting oddly sluggishly above as she fired bolts of purple upon some unseen assailant below.
Spike’s eyes widened and a cry escaped him as he watched a red something reach up and knock the alicorn out of the air, sending her plummeting to the ground. His heart pounding with worry, Spike sprinted over to where he saw Twilight fall, fighting to keep his emotions in check and thoughts of the worst possible scenario at bay as he crashed through the bushes and shoved his way past the low hanging branches.
“Twilight!” he yelled out, unable to contain himself as his oldest friend finally came into view. Spike rushed to her side, barely registering the book floating nearby within the alicorn’s magic grasp, and let out a long sigh of relief upon seeing that there were no injuries save for some light bruising and some dirt on her coat.
Spike held out a claw and helped Twilight stand. “You alright?” he asked.
Twilight nodded as she too breathed out and allowed herself to visibly relax. “I’m glad to see you here. You got my message then?”
“Of course, though it was a little light on the details. What’re we dealing with?” Spike blinked as he suddenly noticed the two young unicorns on Twilight’s back, wide eyed, slack jawed, and shaking with fear and excitement, though thankfully neither appeared at all hurt. “Why are there foals here? What is this, a field trip gone wrong? Wait.” Spike gave Twilight a questioning look. “Is this supposed to be some sort of friendship lesson disguised as an elaborate disaster?”
“No, of course not. I haven’t done those since—“ Twilight gasped and leapt back, her wings kicking back gust to further propel herself and the foals attached to her away. “Look out!”
At Twilight’s warning, Spike turned and raised his arms just as a massive red appendage bursted out of the surrounding foliage and crashed into him. The appendage’s end was separated into two large sections to form a powerful pincer made of a hard chitinous material. The primitive claw slowly tried to close upon the dragon, but a grunt, Spike held it open, giving himself time to escape before the claw slammed shut with a loud snap. The rest of the creature stepped into view, and before Spike now scuttled a bright red and blue crab twice his height and with the proportions to match. Foam coated the crustacean’s mandibles as they made madden clicks, its eyestalks waving with rage as they scanned the area for targets before zeroing in on Spike.
“Huh. Giant enemy crab. Alright then.” Spike stretched his neck to each of his shoulders, making a loud popping sound. “You don’t look so tough. Come at me.”
The crab raised its claws, and suddenly, the clearing darkened. Spike’s head was forced to tilt upwards and leaned back to keep his opponent in his sights as he watched the crab’s body expand and expand until it had nearly doubled in size. Each half of the creature’s colossal claws was now as large as Spike in his entirety, the mere shadow of one covering all that Spike could see.
“Uh, Twili—whoa!”
The claw fell and caught hold of Spike, pinning his arms to his sides and wings to his back. His scales kept the pincers from cutting into him, but there was little he could do about the crushing pressure. He tried to break free, kicking his legs and wiggling with all his might as the crab slowly lifted him high into the air, but he barely felt his restrains budge.
“These foals are students from the School of Gifted Unicorns!” Spike heard Twilight scream out. “When they overheard some gardeners complain about how difficult it was to keep the ponds clean, they got the idea of using crabs from a book! But when the crab they brought turned out to be too small for the job, they tried to grow it magically! Of course, with growth spells, if you aren’t careful and don’t set proper limitations, you can—“
“Less explaining, more helping!” Spike yelled back. “What should I do?”
“Don’t worry, you’re doing fine.”
The crab had pulled Spike closer to its mouth, spraying him with bubbles. He gagged at the putrid odor of partially digested compost coming from the creature. “Fine?”
“Just keep it distracted! I’m looking for a counterspell right now. Their custom growth spell is actually pretty complex, I wish they had taken notes.”
“Twilight!”
“It’s an aquatic animal. It’ll grow weaker the drier it gets. Just give me a little time!”
Spike’s head was now only feet away from the crab’s mandibles. “Hurry up!” he shouted before drawing in as deep a breath as he could with the claw pressing against his diaphragm. The resulting flames that he spat out were small, but the heat they packed as they licked against the crab was still enough to cause the creature to recoil. The claw loosened its grip for only a moment, but a moment was all Spike needed to free his arms and force the claw open.
“Alright pal!” Spike shouted as he took to the air and hovered above the giant crab. “What’s the matter, can’t take the heat?” Fire rained down the crab’s shell, sending it into a crazed frenzy as it swatted at the dragon above.
“Hey, no need to get, crabby!” Spike slammed down on top of crab’s back, driving his foot into the tough exoskeleton before launching a barrage of punches. He wasn’t sure if his blows had dealt any real damage, but as the crab continued to futilely reach for him, at least Spike knew he was keeping the creature occupied.
Suddenly, the crab stopped thrashing, and its body was starting to emit a familiar violet glow. Spike’s next strike went wide as the crab lurched forward, causing the dragon to lose his balance and nearly fall off. The crab continued to shake, and with each motion, Spike noticed that he suddenly had less shell to cling onto and a lot less room to stand on. Pretty soon, he could see the ground below again, and moments after that he found himself falling rapidly back to earth.
“Ugh,” Spike groaned, sitting himself up. Looking around, he spotted his foe trying to scamper in the grass, its tiny legs getting easily caught by the uneven blades of green. Smirking, Spike picked up the crab and held it up to his eye level. “Not so tough now, are we?”
The crab clamped its pincer down on Spike’s snout, causing him to fling the crab away with a pained yell. He heard a splash, and when he turned to look, with a claw cradling his nose, Spike saw that the crab had landed in a small portable tank held by one of the unicorn students.
Twilight barely tried to stifle her giggle as she extended her hoof to Spike and helped him up. “Good job there. You made a wonderful distraction.”
“Geez, glad I could help,” Spike groaned as he stretched. “We should probably get back to the castle soon. You know, to let everypony know that the situation’s taken care of. Before the panic gets any worse.”
“Yes, you’re probably right.” Twilight sighed as she started her trek out of what remained of the ruined gardens. “I should really see if I can get Shiny to come out of retirement and take back his old job, at least until Gallus returns.”
“I hear Flurry Heart finished basic training a while back, maybe we can get her to defect from the Crystal Empire.”
Twilight and Spike shared a chuckle before the princess turned to the pair of foals walking closely by. “Now my little ponies, what have we learned today?” she asked, her voice in full lecturing mode.
“That Conjurer Pisces’s theorem of infinite mass amplification through arcane hormone manipulation was considered insane until the modern development of concentrated magic surplus drainage for good reason and that she wasn’t completely crazy like her contemporaries claimed for hard coding upper percentage based limits into the spell?”
“That watching dragons fight giant crabs is awesome?”
“Smart foals,” Spike said with a smirk. “Guess they really are from your school.”
They soon exited the gardens, and the moment they stepped out onto the open fields, a swarm of guards and castle staff surround Twilight and Spike, fussing over them and checking for injuries. It took several minutes before they could get the worried crowd to calm, and at the princess’s direction, they got to work, setting up perimeters to close off from the general public, helping the animal caretakers wrangling in their charges, beginning a full damage assessment.
It was some time before Spike had the opportunity to stepped back to appreciated the full extent of the destruction before him. He let out a low whistle. “This is, wow, yikes.”
Twilight joined him and nodded somberly. “It looks bad, I know, but it’s all fixable. All of the animals are safe and accounted for, and believe it or not, the damage is only on a small section of the gardens. With the school’s help, we should be able to put it all back in place before this year’s Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Why, that’s a relief to hear.”
The two turned to find that they were joined by an older stallion in a formal dress coat and monocle and a mare in a jabot and vest holding a clipboard. Both bowed to Twilight before the stallion nodded to Spike and cleared his throat.
“Apologies for interrupting,” Fancy Pants said, “but it’s good to see you safe and sound after all this. I must say, old chap, you are taking this rather well.”
“Well, it’s not like this is my first time almost being eaten by some large monster in service of the princess,” Spike said, grinning at Twilight as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, that’s right. I think you had something you needed to talk to me about?”
“I do, or did, but I’m sure no elaboration will be necessary seeing as you are already quite familiar with the situation.”
“You mean, the giant crab attack?” Spike asked, his grin faltering slightly in confusion. “Um, yeah, I guess. I’m not sure why you would be coming to me about it though.”
“Er, no. While I am certainly pleased to hear that the creature was dealt with, I was actually referring to the damage to the gardens itself.” The eyebrow behind the monocle rose. “You had requested the gardens to be the venue for your wedding and its reception, no?”
It took a few seconds for Spike’s brain to warm up, but eventually the gears in his head slowly started to turned and produce understanding as Fancy Pants’s words provided the fuel to kick the engine into motion. His eyes grew large as realization struck him harder than the giant crab had. “Oh. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no.”
Spike took an unsteady step toward the debris, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession. His world started to spin, and he fell to his knees. The worried exclamations of Twilight and the others were like muffled echos to his ears, barely audible. Twilight’s touch providing no comfort to his numb body.
He swallowed and forced himself back onto his feet. “Y-you said the gardens would be ready by the Grand Galloping Gala, right?”
“I did,” Twilight said with a stiff, uncomfortable nod.
Spike struggled to perform some mental arithmetic, holding up his fingers as he counted down the months. “Can we, get it done any earlier. Like, maybe, three months earlier?”
“I’m sorry, Spike.”
Spike nearly dropped back to his hands and knees, but Twilight caught him in her magic. “Spike. Spike, I need you to calm down. Breath with me, Spike. Breath.”
“Calm down? Calm down?” He gestured wildly at what had once been a picturesque collection of fauna, of flowering trees and artistically maintained bushes, now little more than a scattered mess of shredded plant matter and litter. “How am I supposed to calm down now? Do you see what I have to work with? Oh my gosh, when Rarity finds out, oh my gosh, oh gosh, what am I going to here. I got to, got to, uh, oh gosh, uh—“
Both Fancy Pants and the scribe winced at the sharp slap sound that resulted from Princess Twilight Sparkle clapping her hooves over Spike’s cheeks and forcing his gaze to met hers. “Breath with me. In. Out. In. Out. In. Hold it. Hold it. Now out.”
Spike exhaled.
“Feel better?”
He nodded with apparent reluctance and tried to turn away. Twilight held him in place. “Good. Now listen to me. We can solve this. The gardens aren’t the only place around here that you can hold a wedding. Alright?”
Spike swallowed. He took another deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”
Twilight smiled as she pressed her forehead against his and released her number one assistant.
“You’re right,” Spike continued, rubbing the back of his neck shamefully. “I’m sorry, I, I don’t know what happened, I just lost it.” He turned to Fancy Pants. “How soon can we find a new venue?” he asked.
“Well, it is rather last minute, most locations would require much more time in advance to reserve. However, given the circumstances, and your position, if we were to start immediately, I believe the planning committee should be able to arrange an adequate replacement.”
“Alright, how about now? Is now good?” Spike said, looking to Twilight, and when she responded with a nod, he returned to the snappily dressed stallion. “Now’s good. Let’s start now.”
“Um, Sir Spike.” The mare in the vest and ruffled collar held up a timid hoof. “Before you, ah, head off with Lord Fancy Pants, you should know that there was a message from Ms. Sapphire Shores for you earlier today.”
“Oh, right, that must’ve been the other notification,” Spike said with an appreciative nod. “What’s the message?”
“Well, Ms. Shores has received your request and has expressed her interest in coming out of retirement for a day to celebrate your wedding with Ms. Rarity.” The mare bit her lip and hesitated.
“But?” Spike prompted, his shoulders sagging.
“However, Ms. Shores appears to be having reservations over having to essentially play second fiddle to a flock of songbirds. She feels as though it wouldn’t exactly be, and this is in her terms, sensational.”
“Oh. Well. That’s.” With his lips pursed tightly together, Spike turned to Twilight, and as she gave his shoulder a firm pat, Spike’s stiff and anxious expression melted away into something more exhausted looking.
Tall decorative poles had been erected in the quiet calm meadow, white pillars sticking out of a sea of green, each of which had an attached sconce, currently empty, designed for holding a bouquet. In four columns of twelve they stood, with streamers of entwining violet and gold velvet fabrics linking together those of the same column. The poles at the very ends were also connected like such, creating a large gold and purple rectangle separated into three compartments. Benches filled the two exterior compartments that flanked the narrower inner third section which led directly to wooden archway, painted white and with images of vines sprouting in flower blossoms and diamonds carved into it. The archway sat looking over the edge of a cliff from which the towns and villages around Canterlot could be seen. There, out in the distance, small enough that it looked as though it could be held in the hooves of an observer standing at the edge, was Ponyville, the scopes and majesties of Twilight’s old castle and the School of Friendship reduced to that of dollhouses.
It wouldn’t be too long now before the benches were filled with guests, the pillars holding flowers, the aisle covered in white and pink petals. Spike would be there at the end, waiting and watching with Twilight as his bride made her way down the aisle, the petals keeping her hooves from touching the grass. The area was silent at the moment, but from a separate open space to the side, Fluttershy’s avian choir would emphatically announce Rarity’s approach as she joined Spike beneath the arch.
When the time came, Spike’s attention would no doubt be completely upon his lovely bride, but for now his focus was instead on the many tables and stalls that sat a little ways away, each vibrantly colored and covered in various celebratory supplies like confetti poppers and noise makers and balloons that had yet to be inflated. More streamers, these ones of paper and in far more varied bright colors, stretched down from the shady branches of the nearby trees, and posted on the trunks were stylized caricatures of Spike and Rarity performing various activities, from square dancing to skydiving to what was either a poor attempt to feed each other or the start of a vicious food fight.
“So? What do you think?” asked Pinkie Pie, her grin massive as she gestured to the decorations. On her back was a half emptied box of pastries, containing only a couple of donuts and some residue sugar powder and sprinkles. A good deal of chocolate glaze still clung to Pinkie’s lips while Spike licked off the last bit of strawberry jelly from his claws. “This is where the food is. Or, will be, once Applejack makes all of it. And this is the dance floor. Or, where it will be once the band’s here and we have guests that want to dance. Oh, and this is where the games are, like pin the tail on the pony, that’s Rarity’s favorite game you know, but we also have give the dragon wings too, so you don’t feel left out. Or, where the games will be because, you know.”
Pinkie waved at the empty tables and clear fields. “We don’t have them out yet. Are you sure we didn’t start setting up a little too early? The reception and everything isn’t for another, what, two and a half weeks? I get it, sometimes I get so excited about a party I just have to start planning and baking and decorating, but then I end up with a bunch of cakes and games and decorations that I don’t really need so I just invite as many friends as possible and make up an excuse to throw a new party right then and there.” Pinkie gasped, and she jumped into the air as her mane stretched and expanded. “Is some creature else getting married today?”
“Um, no. No, this is fine,” Spike assured after an uncertain moment. “I just wanted to get a good look at the layout and everything in advanced, that’s all. You know, to see if there’s anything that needs to be added or moved around. Like, uh.” He pointed to the pictures stuck to the trees. “Do we have anything less, cartoony? Like maybe photographs?”
Why?” Pinkie ran over to one of the images of Spike and alternated her gaze between it and the real Spike before her. “Looks spot on to me. It’s like there’s two of you here. Besides, I don’t have any photos of you and Rarity square dancing or kayaking or skydiving or eating cake while wearing wedding clothes.”
“Well maybe just paste pictures of our faces over the drawings. Actually, no, that might make it look even worse.” Spike hummed to himself before shaking his head. “I don’t know, I just, is this the best we can do? Not to say that there anything’s wrong or anything,” he hurried added. “I just, I’m just a little worried that Rarity might not be the biggest fan of, well, everything.”
“Oh Spike, Spike, Spikey Spike Spike.” Pinkie shook her head as she threw a foreleg around Spike’s shoulders and pulled him down to her height. “Looks like we’ve spent way too much time apart if you’ve forgotten so much about your Auntie Pinkie Pie.” she said with a sigh. “When it comes to parties, I always, always bring my best. And, ah.” The mare chuckled as she gently prodded Spike’s belly with her hoof. “I know you’re the one marrying her and all, but I’m the one with extensive files on all my friends’s likes and dislikes, and that includes you and Rarity, so I think I’d know what Rarity would or wouldn’t be the biggest fan of.”
Spike opened his mouth but quickly thought better of it and shut it. “True enough, I guess,” he conceded. “Well, you’re the party expert here, if you really think this is good, then we’ll leave it at that. But, um, speaking of parties, I’m surprised Rainbow Dash’s planning the bachelorette party and not you.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Eh. Dashie wanted something to do to help out.”
“You, uh, sure she can handle it?”
“Yep yep. She might not be a party pony like me, but the whole point of a bachelorette party is to go wild, and you know Rainbow can get pretty wild.”
“Guess I’ll have to talk to her about setting some boundaries. Don’t want things to get too crazy, right?”
“Hm, Rainbow’s not going to want to hear any of that, but if that’s what it’ll take to put this little innocent mind at ease.” Pinkie rubbed the top of Spike’s head, causing his head spikes to flatten. “So can I just leave everything here up? It’s not going to rain from now until the wedding, right? Because, wait.” Pinkie Pie started to frown and her head leaned to one side.
“What’s up?”
“Something feels, hm. Whoa!” Suddenly, Pinkie’s entire body was shaking, like if she had been caught in an earthquake localized completely beneath her feet. Her eyes became huge as her mane and tail continually puffed out and pulled in, shooting out bits of colored paper with each expansion and retreat. She rocketed into the air as her limbs sprawled out, and she slowly floated back down and landed on her stomach.
“Wow!” Pinkie jumped back up onto her hooves just as Spike approached her, ready to lend assistance. “Now that was doozy.”
“A doozy? Wait.” It was Spike’s eyes’s turn to grow. “You mean, as in your Pinkie Sense?”
“Yeppers. Hoo, it’s been a long while since I’ve had a big one like that.”
“Okay. Okay.” Spike fought to keep his breathing steady. “A doozy. Those tend to be pretty bad, right? Like Twilight suddenly combusting bad. Is Twilight catching fire?”
“Hm, dunno.” Pinkie shrugged. “That was more of wooh sort of doozy. This one felt more like waah or whaa.”
“Um, alright.” Spike grimaced as he hesitated, fearful of the possible answer to his next question. “Do you think it might have anything to do with the wedding?”
Again, much to Spike’s growing apprehension, Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, it’s hard to tell. I was feeling doozies left and right right around when Cheese and me were getting married, maybe my Pinkie Sense is just reacting to your wedding. I mean, two of my closest friends are getting together and having what might be the first marriage between a dragon and pony? I’d call that a pretty doozy worthy event. Oh!” Pinkie clapped her front hooves together excitedly. “I just remembered, I was having doozies a few days before I learned about Lil’ Cheese.” She gasped. “Spike, are you pregnant?”
“What? No! No, of course not.”
“Oh.” Pinkie’s mane lost volume as she visibly became dejected, but she immediately sprung back with her wild grin returning in full force. “Is Rarity pregnant?”
“I, don’t think she is.” A breeze blew by as Spike became quiet. With hands upon his hips, Spike tapped his foot nervously against the ground. “Um, I think I need to send a letter. Um, yeah.”
Spike started walking towards the castle, with Pinkie following closely behind. “Ooh, does that mean what I think it means? Does Twilight know? Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl? What do you even call a half pony half dragon baby?”
Pinkie’s onslaught of questions faded as the two got closer to the castle and further away from the cliff side. A couple more moments passed before there was a annoyed sigh, and from the shadows of one of the trees stepped out a pony dressed in a thick, dark cloak. The hood pulled over their head and the solid bandana tied around their snout hid the pony’s visage while their questionable attire left any and all possibly distinguishing features obscured. Age, tribe, gender, nothing could be discerned from the pony’s outward appearance, only that they were equine in structure, were carrying something hefty on their back, and were possibly frustrated with something if the way they were pacing was any indication.
“Where are they?” the pony hissed to themselves as they gave the area another wide scan. Seeing no one else around, the pony clicked their tongue in an irritated manner before turning and making their way to the white archway at the cliff’s edge. They placed their package right underneath the painted wooden structure and removed its cloth covering, revealing it to be a large barrel with several blue and red wires coming out of it and an electric panel soldered to its side. Sitting on the very top of the barrel, with additional lines of wire connecting it to the rest of the device, was a simple kitchen timer.
From their cloak the pony removed a portable recorder and pressed down on one of the buttons which caused the cassette tape to spin. “Audio report from Special Agent Gummy Worm. Time is eleven oh two hours. No sign of Special Agent Creme Egg or Operator Fudgesicle. Proceeding with Operation Second Winter Thaw alone.”
The pony ended the recording and put the cassette recorder back into their cloak. Then, after rubbing their hooves together, they got to work, untangling the wires and inputting commands into the panel.
“Stop right there.”
The pony stiffened. Slowly, they turned around to face the mare behind them. She too wore dark clothes, a long overcoat with matching sunglasses, but the light yellow of their coat could be easily seen, and she made no effort to hide her curled mane of cobalt and pink. At the sight of the mare, the pony’s eyes grew wide with recognition that quickly became contempt that caused their eyes to shrink and narrow.
“Special Agent Sweetie Drops,” Agent Gummy Bear said lowly. “We missed you at the briefing. Figured you must have failed to receive the reinstatement orders.”
“Oh I got them alright,” Sweetie Drops declared. “I just decided to ignore them since they obviously didn’t go through the right channels.” She slowly removed her shades and tucked them into her coat. “The princess is in charge of the Agency, not the Director. He doesn’t get to call the shots.”
Gummy Bear snorted. “You’ve been retired for too long, Agent Sweetie Drops. The current princess isn’t even aware of the Agency’s existence. Now we can operate for the good of Equestria without having to deal with all that bureaucratic oversight getting in our way.”
“So you’ve all gone rogue.” The mare frown. “I thought as much, though I didn’t want to believe it.”
She took a step forward. The cloaked pony took a step back. “If you’re not here to help us, then what are you doing here?” Gummy Bear demanded.
“To stop you.” Sweetie Drops reached into her coat and tossed out a pair of smashed cassettes. “Your colleagues didn’t have much to say, but the fact that they spoke at all means the new generation’s too soft for this line of work. So tell me, why is the Agency trying to stop the wedding of the princess’s number one advisor?”
At first, the only answer Sweetie Drops got was silence, but after moment, Agent Gummy Bear shifted uncomfortably. “Of the Agency’s six hundred sixty four containment and pacification protocols, do you know how many would be applicable to a rogue draconequus?”
The question made Sweetie Drops blink. “Less than, one?” she hazarded.
“Actually less than zero. Somehow. We believe Priority Target D’s magic was involved in some way. In any case, in the event of a draconequus related incident, we are largely unable to respond. The only saving grace here is that there is only one draconequus in existence and it is currently not hostile toward Equestria.”
“Okay, but what does this have to do with Spike and Rarity getting married?” Sweetie Drops asked. Seeing the rogue agent take another step back toward the barrel, she took a step forward.
“Until a method can be developed that can be used readily to neutralize a hostile draconequus, the only thing we can do is prevent the creation of more of them,” the pony explained. “The union of a dragon with a pony is the most practical theory to date.”
“Wait. You think Spike marrying Rarity will result in a new draconequus? That’s crazy.”
“Draconequus. Dragon, equine. It’s in the very name. Maybe it is a bit of a stretch, but are you really going to risk having another reality warping chaos spirit running amok?” Agent Gummy Bear extended their hoof toward Sweetie Drops. “Come out of retirement and rejoin the Agency. Help us protect Equestria. Or if you can’t do that, then just walk away and let me finish my mission.”
Sweetie Drops spared the offered hoof a short glance before shoving it aside. “I was in love once, you know. Still very much am. And I’m not about to let you deprive creatures of the same happiness I’ve enjoyed over some crackpot theories.”
Agent Gummy Bear stared at their rejected hoof and sighed. The moment they finished vocalizing their disappointment, the pony turned and charged for the barrel. Sweetie Drops was faster, however, and she wrapped her forelegs around the escaping pony’s waist before tossing them back into the benches. Wood splintered and cracked as the pony smashed into the seats, but they quickly recovered and managed to roll out of the way as Sweetie Drops drove her hoof into the bench, right where Gummy Bear’s head had been seconds prior.
Gummy Bear, in an attempt to capitalize on Sweetie Drops’ plunder, tried to dash to their device while their opponent was still struggling to free their hoof, but a sweeping kick to their hind legs caused the agent to trip and fall prone. Switching tactics, Gummy Bear got up and charged instead at Sweetie Drops. From their cloak they produced a collapsible metal baton that immediately extended as they swung and went on the offensive. Bits of wood flew into the air as the baton slashed into the surrounding benches and tore out chucks as it was withdrawn for another swing.
Sweetie Drops scowled as she continued to dodge and duck. The baton was keeping her at a distance, and without a weapon of her own, Sweetie Drops’s own capacity for attack was limited. Thinking quickly, the mare grabbed some grass and wood fragments and flung them at the opposing agent’s exposed eyes. Gummy Bear’s foreleg rose instinctive to shield their face, which gave Sweetie Drops time to reach one of the poles sticking out of the ground and pulled it free. The connected neighboring poles toppled and fell over, and the velvet streamers were ripped apart as she gave the improvised quarterstaff a quick test swing before throwing herself back into the fray.
The longer weapon gave Sweetie Drops a much greater reach than her opponent as it was now Agent Gummy Bear’s turn to dance away and play avoidance, but Sweetie Drops soon discovered that its extra length made it far more difficult to maneuver in the current environment as each missed blow found a different, wooden target. While she was reevaluating her choice in weapons, her opponent had reached into their cloak once more and pulled out several small colored balls. The balls were thrown at Sweetie Drops who swung and batted them all away, sending them flying toward the other audience section.
Upon impact, the balls bursted and blanketed the benches with a sticky substance that immediately started to harden in the sun, their colors matching their respective containers. A couple of the poles on the other side were also struck, and the sudden addition of weight from the gunk caused them to fall, taking with them their nearest neighbors. More balls were thrown her way, and Sweetie Drops, seeing the potentially devastating effects if hit, knocked these back over to where the reception was planned, covering the tables and stalls with that same sticky, colored substance before she closed the distance between herself and Gummy Bear and brought her staff to the side of their neck.
It wasn’t the incapacitating blow Sweetie Drops wanted, but the strike caused her opponent to crumble to the ground and left them with barely enough strength to raise their head and glare as Sweetie Drops loomed over and pointed the end of her pole down at them. “Give it up,” she ordered. “It’s over.”
The pony made no move to escape, but the defiance in their eyes continued to burn fiercely. They stared right back, refusing to break eye contact until finally they blinked, and to her unease, Sweetie Drops thought she heard a snicker through the pony’s scarf.
“Not yet. Guess you didn’t quite take care of my colleagues like you thought.”
Something wrapped around Sweetie Drops, something long, yellow, and sticky, and as it tightened and forced her limbs to her sides, her improvised staff dropped to the ground.
“I got her,” spat the pony behind her, the hood of their cloak torn to reveal them as a blue stallion with a gray mohawk of a mane. A large, dark welt covered part of the stallion’s face, forcing one of his eyes shut. With a sharp tug on the lasso in his grasp, he pulled Sweetie Drops towards him and away from his fallen comrade. “Hurry up and finish the mission.”
The pony climbed back onto their feet and gave a short nod before hobbling towards the barrel beneath the archway. Sweetie Drops struggled against her sticky bindings, but another sharp tug caused her to stumble back. “You should’ve joined us when you had the chance,” the stallion growled as he stood over her and leaned into her face. “You’re going to pay for this.” He gestured to his swollen eye.
“How about I even it out?” Sweetie Drops rocked forward and slammed her forehead into the soft area right between her captor’s good eye and cheek. The stallion reeled back and screamed, giving Sweetie Drops room to chomped down on her restraints.
“You—“ The stallion, his vision now almost completely impaired, grabbed blindly for Sweetie Drops, but it was too late. The rope had been chewed through, and she was already on her hooves.
“Amateurs,” she scoffed mockingly as she dashed toward the edge of the cliff, where the first agent was busying themselves with their device. “That’s why you use salt water taffy!”
A shout from the stallion alerted Agent Gummy Bear of Sweetie Drops’s approach, giving them just enough time to throw up their forelegs and shield their face as Sweetie Drops leapt into the air and brought a roundhouse kick right to the side of the agent’s head. Her spin was more than just a stylish flourish as the aerial whirl added extra momentum to the blow which knock Gummy Bear back a good distance, leaving them momentarily concussed and the wired barrel defenseless. As they held their head and tried to keep it steady, the hood of their cloak slipped off, exposing their rose colored mane tied back in a wrapped braid.
Sweetie Drops took a step towards them, ready to finish the subjugation and bring them into custody, when her ears perked up at the steady stream of ticking that was coming from the barrel. The nob of the kitchen timer had been turned, she discovered, with only a minute left until the bell inside would ring out. The panel on the device’s side, meanwhile, was flashing an ominous shade of red.
“Now it’s over,” coughed Agent Gummy Bear as they tried to laugh.
Sweetie Drops spun towards the agent who was struggling to stand. “Tell me how to deactivate it, now!” she demanded.
“Short of alicorn magic, once it starts, it can’t be stopped. It’s too late now.” They pulled one last thing from their cloak, a packed white water balloon, and before Sweetie Drops could stop them, they threw the balloon on the ground.
The balloon exploded and released a cloud of fine baking flour into the air, forcing Sweetie Drops to cover her nose and mouth as her opponent disappeared from view. “You’ve got just enough time to get to a safe distance. Focus on getting out of here, before you get caught in the mess.”
The cloud of white powder soon dissipated, blown apart by a passing breeze, but by that time both Agent Gummy Bear and their ally were already gone. Sweetie Drops bit back a curse as she instead turned to the still ticking gadget they had left behind, the nob’s arrow getting dangerous close to its initial starting position. Even if she had any idea as to how to disable the device, it didn’t seem as though she had the time to do so. Gritting her teeth, Sweetie Drops did the only thing she could think of and pushed, but the heavy barrel barely budged.
Just one option left, then. The mare ran away, putting as much distance between herself and the barrel as she could before suddenly pivoting and charging right back at the device. The ticking seemed to slow along with the beating of her own heart as she slammed herself hard against the barrel, launching both it and herself right off the cliff’s edge.
Wind slashed against her cheeks as gravity grabbed hold of her and pulled her down towards the earth so far below, back to the world she and all without wings belonged. Her return would have been a most painful one, one that would have likely been followed by a long hospitalization and recovery process involving a full body cast and drinking through a straw, had the hook attached to the end of Sweetie Drops’s rope missed that overgrown tree root. The cord of braided licorice she had produced from her coat went taut, causing her to come to a sudden stop.
The licorice cut into her legs, and the forceful halt caused her entire body to jerk roughly. She was most certainly going to be sore and with an awkward gait the next morning, but it beat kissing the ground at near terminal velocity. She glanced down just in time to watch the barrel explode with a thunderous boom, the force of which caused her to swing about. A great billowing mass of sparkling purple and pink glitter rained down on the empty field below, and Sweetie Drops shuddered to imagine the mess that would have resulted had she failed to remove the bomb from the scene.
With a relieved sigh, Sweetie Drops swung herself to the cliff face and slowly climbed her way down. Eventually, she would make it back to her home in Ponyville, safe and sound and with the slightly smug self-satisfaction that came with personally averting a crisis. Eventually, she would return to the life of Bon Bon, mild mannered confectioner, come up with some excuse about where she was that entire day, and remain blissfully ignorant to the anguished expressions and the agonized cries of Spike the dragon as he returned to find his benches broken and out of line, his decorative poles scattered and on the ground, and large sections of his now ruined wedding setup covered in sticky globs of hardening gum.
Scenic hills and quaint little towns rolled by as the train chugged along, their charm having worn off hours ago. The great green, uninterrupted plains and rounded, wooden buildings of Equestria had been a nice change of pace from the jagged crystalline structures and rocky landscapes of the Crystal Empire at first, but it didn’t take long before Flurry Heart grew tired of the view outside her window.
The beautifully clear sky above held her interest a little longer as she amused herself with what shapes and images she could spot out of the clouds that flew above, but eventually that became dull as well, and she found herself feeling resentfully envious toward the birds she saw in the skies. Every so often, the young alicorn would stretch out her wings and give them a small flap as she looked up into the clouds. A small part of her that slowly grew in tandem with her boredom was tempted to move to the caboose’s exterior rear end and take off to see how long her wings could keep up with the powerful steam locomotive.
She really should have brought something with her to read, but her initial excitement in seeing her favorite aunt and uncle/cousin/whatever Flurry felt Spike was to her that hour for the first time in what felt like a long time had clouded her judgment during the packing process, leaving her with only the necessities, a fancy dress, and regret once the early excitement had worn off. Sure, she could’ve begged her parents to buy her a magazine at one of the stops along the way or even strutted in on her own and thrown her royal weight around until she got some reading material for free, but in the face of either pitiful option the proud imperial princess preferred the boredom.
At least it wouldn’t be long now before they reached their destination of Canterlot. Already the train was beginning the long, winding climb up the mountain. Flurry Heart turned away from the window and looked to her father and mother. Prince Shining Armor sat right across from her with a newspaper in front of him and several empty bags of potato chips at his side. The page facing towards her had the results of some major sports game and the predictions for the players’ futures, but Flurry could see that behind the sports section, Shining Armor’s attention was on the comic strips, the ends of his lips twitching. Her mother, meanwhile, was absentmindedly leafing through what was likely a romance novella if the cover of a mare swooning in the forelimbs of her lover as the wind swept their manes back was any indication. Her focus clearly elsewhere as Princess mi Amore Cadenza let out a sigh.
Shining rolled his eyes as he flipped to the next page of funnies. “Still upset that Twilight’s officiating and not you?”
“I’m not upset,” Cadance said with an annoyed sniff. “Twilight is a wonderful speaker, I’m sure she’ll do fine, even if she’s not exactly the most experienced when it comes to this sort of subject. I’m just, a little confused to why Spike didn’t even think of asking the princess of love to play a bigger role.” She slammed the paperback shut as the pink feathers of her wings ruffled irritably. “It just feels like a missed opportunity, that’s all.”
“Uh oh.” Shining Armor rolled his eyes again as he peeked over at Flurry Heart, lowering the paper to let her see his playful grin. “Yeah, she’s upset. Your mom feeds off of weddings, you know. Guess it’s been a while since we’ve last been to one so she’s feeling extra moody.”
The book levitated over and batted Shining gently below his horn. “Oh, this coming from Mr. Waterworks himself?" said Cadance with a light sneer. "Are you going to at least wait until the wedding starts before you start leaking liquid pride everywhere."
"Hey, that's Prince Waterworks, thank you very much," Shining Armor responded with an exaggerated pose, his nose held high and his hoof raised, which won him some giggles from his wife and an eye roll from his daughter. The unicorn settled back down and hummed.
"Hey, you know what's a little, well, weird?” he said. “I've never really thought about Spike getting married before. Well, actually, for the longest time, I never gave him much thought at all. I always remembered him being that little dragon who hung around with Twilight all the time, always taking up her time, needing her to do something for him, so I was never really sure what he was to me. Of course, then he managed to outmaneuver me and Twily both, the both of us, can you believe that, in our last Sibling Supreme competition so. I wonder if he still has the crown anywhere. I'm sure he does."
"Dad, where are you going with this?"
"I'm just, so proud of him." Shining Armor sniffed and dabbed a hoof at his eyes. At this, Cadance groaned and motioned towards the crying stallion as she gave Flurry Heart a disbelieving look. Flurry winced and flattened her ears against her head as their cabin was filled with loud sobs that drew the curiosities of the neighboring passengers. Eventually, Shining's cries quieted to some sniffling as he ran out of tissues and the train came to a gradual halt. A sharp whistle echoed through the entire transport that was immediately followed by an announcement of the train's arrival in Canterlot.
The family of three picked up their luggage and joined the rest of the passengers as they disembarked and made their way onto the station's platform. There were the usual stares and points that naturally came with the sighting of a pair of alicorn princesses, but Flurry ignored them as her attention was pulled elsewhere.
This was not her first visit to Equestria's capital, and she couldn't recall ever seeing so many royal guards in Canterlot all at one time and in one place. Everywhere she turned she could spot a crested helmet or five, with pegasus guards patrolling the skies right above as their earthbound comrades stood at attention at what appeared to be every nook and corner of the station. A glance towards her father, the captain of the Equestrian royal guard prior to his promotion to co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, confirmed her suspicions as the confused and unease look the unicorn shared with Cadance all but screamed that this was no routine escort.
Cadance suddenly nodded as her expression of worry was replaced with one of surprise, and following her mother’s gaze, Flurry Heart discovered the possible reason for the added security. There, amidst the crowd, were three other alicorns, one as white as a snowy hill lit by the dawn sun, one of the same dark blue that a clear evening sky could boast, one a light purple that could be seen painting the horizon as the day gave way to night. Each carried themselves with a regality that the young princess could only hope to one day achieve, though the blue and the white ones had set aside their titles years before Flurry’s first coherent sentence. Their majestic manes still flowed and waved, carried by a perfect and continual personalized breeze, as they approached her and hers, sharing a laugh in response to whatever the purple alicorn had said mere moments prior.
“Twily!” Shining Armor exclaimed, and at his outburst, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s small smile grew to a great grin as she broke into a charge towards him. Flurry started to smile back and raised a hoof to wave, but before she could do so, Twilight had swept her, Shining, and Cadance all up with her wings into a tremendously tight hug.
“Oh, how I’ve missed you all,” Twilight cooed. “It’s been way too long since we’ve last seen each other.”
“I’ll say,” Shining gasped as he struggled to escape his sister’s hold. “Did you grow another few inches since the last submit? At this rate, ponies are going to start thinking that I’m the younger sibling.”
“It’s wonderful to see you, Twilight,” Cadance said once she had been given some room to breath. “And you two as well,” she added with a polite low nod to the other two alicorns. “Aunt Celestia, Luna. I hope retirement’s still treating you well.”
“It certainly has its moments,” Celestia said, smiling warmly. “Though I will admit that there are times when I miss the busyness of court life.”
“Everypony wants what the other pony has,” her sister spoke up with a sagely shake of her head before turning to Cadance. “I am certain that you are already counting down the moons before this one will be ready to take your place.” Luna gestured to Flurry Heart, causing the youngest of the alicorns present to blush and duck her head down.
“And how is my favorite niece?” Twilight beamed brightly as she zeroed in on Flurry. Again, the poor young mare was thrown into a bone crushing embrace as Twilight’s magic pulled her towards her. “Everything going well? I haven’t gotten any new letters from you recently.”
“Yeah, sorry. Just, you know, stuff.” Flurry rubbed the back of her head. “I’ll write more often, I promise. I’ve just been busy.”
A tap on Twilight’s shoulder caused her to turn away from her niece. “Perhaps we should finish catching up at the castle,” Celestia suggested. A second gesture from her old mentor pointed out the crowd growing dangerously on the platform as even more ponies were stopping to stare at the congregation of alicorns, a rare sight to behold even for those local to Canterlot.
“Good call,” Twilight said with a thankful nod before she motioned to Shining, Cadance, and Flurry Heart. “You must be tired from your trip. Here.” The luggage with them started to glow before the bags vanished completely. “They’ll be waiting in your rooms. Right this way.”
With another wave, Twilight led the way into the city, toward the royal palace in the distance. A squad of guard ponies led by a griffon of blue fur and feathers followed after them, doing their best to keep the curious crowds from gathering and getting too close.
“Well, I guess that would explain all the guards,” Shining said as they walked through Canterlot’s streets. “Having all these high profile ponies in one place could definitely cause some trouble if you’re not careful.”
“Hm? Oh, right, the guards.” Twilight shook her head. “Actually, Celestia and Luna flew in unannounced only a few minutes before your train arrived, and we just happened to bump into each other while I was waiting for you.”
“Wait, so us all meeting there was completely unplanned?” asked Cadance with an eyebrow raised.
“A complete coincidence,” was Twilight’s answer. “We had no idea you’d all be coming in on the same day.”
“Well I doubt you’d have had all this heightened security up just for our sakes.” The ends of Shining Armor’s grin lowered slightly. “What’s going on?”
There was a moment of hesitation. “It was Spike’s call,” Twilight finally said after the moment passed. “We had an incident a couple of weeks ago. Some creature or creatures vandalized the wedding venue and messed up a bunch of the decorations.”
“That’s horrible!” Cadance gasped as the others murmured their agreement to her assessment. “Do you know who? Or why?”
“The investigation is still ongoing, but from the clues we’ve already gathered, we’re thinking it might have just been some youth on a real bad sugar rush.” Twilight sighed. “Still, Spike wants the guard on high alert in case anything else happens. I was fine with posting a few extra patrols around, but this?” She made a sweeping motion towards the surrounding city, and in the short span of the gesture, there was not a moment where her hoof wasn’t pointing at or near a helmed and armored pony. “I think he’s overreacting a bit.”
Celestia stifled a giggle as Shining and Cadance shared a look.
“Yes, I know, I get the irony.” Twilight rolled her eyes and put on a weak, rueful smile that didn’t last long. “The extra guard presence is putting the whole city on edge. Some of the older ponies are comparing it to Chrysalis’s first invasion attempt.”
Flurry watched as her mother rubbed the back of her neck and turned to look in some odd direction as Shining cleared his throat. “So, uh, speaking of Spike, where is the little guy?” he asked. “I figured he’d be with you waiting for us.”
“Spike’s been busy. I saw him last in the kitchens, trying to resolve some issue with Applejack,” said Twilight, and after a long moment, she let out a sigh. “He’s been, difficult these past few days. You know, he read through my ceremony script the other night, without my permission, and told me I had to redo the whole thing because he thought it was too heavy on friendship.” She shook her head and huffed. “I get it, he’s going through a lot right now, but these days he’s been acting awfully demanding. I barely managed to talk him out of telling guests what specific wedding gifts they were each allowed to bring.”
“Odd.” Celestia frowned. “That doesn’t really sound like Spike. Would you like me to talk to him?”
“No. If anypony should be confronting him, it’s me,” Twilight declared with another sigh. “I’ll get to him eventually, hopefully before the actual wedding. I’m sure it’s just nerves getting the best of both of us, though I am glad that you of all ponies are here now, Cadance. I think we could really use some of that love expertise of yours.”
Cadance blinked, and her lips parted slightly in surprise as Twilight nodded to her. “Oh? Oh my. Spike and Rarity aren’t having problems with their relationship, are they?”
“Huh? Oh no. They’re doing fine.” Twilight paused for a moment and frowned. “I mean, Rarity’s been griping about how they haven’t spent as much time together as they’d like to, what with Spike being so busy with everything, but that’ll probably fix itself once the wedding’s finally here. No, I meant I was hoping you would review my latest draft for the ceremony.” She started to smirk as she clapped her hooves together. “I’d like to see Mr. Demandy-Pants complain about a speech with the princess of love’s own stamp of approval.”
“We sure we’re talking about Spike, right?” Shining Armor interjected. “And not the bride? Rarity, wasn’t it? I remember her being kind of.” The stallion seemed to struggle for an appropriate word. “Theatrical,” he finally decided on. “Then again, it has been a while. Maybe she’s changed.”
The castle entrance could now be seen. “Not really,” said Twilight as she continued to guide the group forward. “She’s pretty much as dramatic as ever. I mentioned her talking about she and Spike not always being able to be together, right? Well, trust me when I say that you do not want to get her started. It won’t take long before the tissues and fainting couch come out. Not to mention how she’ll breaks out into giggles if you mention anything remotely related to weddings or marriage. Or Spike.”
“Sounds a little like how Shining was when we first got engaged.” Cadance stopped to link her foreleg around her husband’s and leaned her head against his shoulder. Shining, with a large goofy grin plastered over his face, in turn bent over to kiss Cadance’s offered lips, much to the disgust of Flurry Heart as she rolled out her tongue and threatened to jam a hoof down her throat.
“Please tell me Spike and his fiancée aren’t going to be like that in public,” the young alicorn groaned to Twilight. “Otherwise I don’t think I’ll survive until the wedding.”
“Oh?” Luna exclaimed with a curious tilt of her head. “Not a fan of romance? How peculiar, considering who your mother is. Perhaps you are more like Celestia then. She also much preferred stories of adventure over those of love when we were but young fillies.”
Seeing that she had suddenly drawn the attention of the two most senior and possibly most accomplished of the alicorns present, Flurry Heart immediately lowered her head and tried to contain her stammers. Here were mares as old as Equestria itself, mares she barely knew outside of legends, who were now displaying interest in little old her. She forcefully pulled back her wings that she had thrown over her face, a nervous habit that had carried over from infancy, and dared to peek. Finding comfort and encouragement in the sight of Celestia’s warm smile, she slowly raised her head back up to return the smile.
“I-I guess so,” Flurry managed to say. “Yeah, I’m, not big on the, um, romance. Stories about adventurers going on adventures and knights fighting huge monsters, that’s more of my thing.”
Celestia nodded and had just opened her mouth to speak when everypony suddenly found themselves pitching forward as the ground beneath them started to quake. Panicked screams briefly filled the air only be cut short as a deafening, horrific roar drowned out all other sounds as its sheer volume ripped the skies asunder, tearing clouds to shreds and knocking those airborne to the ground. The guards rushed forward, putting themselves between Twilight, her family, and her friends and the castle before them, as the griffon of the group held out a claw and helped Twilight stand.
“Thanks, Gallus. What’s going on here? Earthquake? Another magically blown up creature? A storm summoned through a dubious artifact?”
She felt a tap on her hoof. “Uh, Twily?” Shining Armor said, his eyes wide and pointed toward something up and out in the distance. The gazes of everypony else were also in that same direction and angle, and when Twilight followed Shining’s raised hoof toward whatever they were all staring at, her eyes mimicked her brother’s as her mouth fell wide open.
A great winged beast clung to one of the castle’s spires, its scaly tail digging into the structure as it wrapped tightly around the tower. The palace keep was dwarfed by the creature’s mass, with each finger of its massive claws greater in length than Twilight’s own entire body. The uneven green jags atop its elongated head pierced the clouds above it as the mere shadow of its purple body left the castle grounds in a cool, foreboding shade.
Terrified ponies sprinted out of the castle, with only a few sparing the group of royals, former royals, and their guards a second glance before fleeing for the safety of the city, a sharp contrast to their earlier reception back at the train station. Every upright ear fell flat as the monster let out another loud and mighty roar that forced some to bow under the weight of the very sound itself.
“New addition to the castle, Twilight?” Celestia said with an intrigued hum. “I’m not exactly seeing its charm. What do you think, Sister?”
Luna was already hovering above the rest of them, her initial look of awe and surprise replaced with a glare of distain. “It is an eyesore that will soon know its place,” she declared. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, we shall leave the safety of our little ponies to you and yours.”
Celestia sighed as she watched Luna fly off towards the beast looming over the castle, but she too soon took to the air. “Well then, let’s hope these past few years of idle retirement haven’t dulled us.” She turned to her old student and nodded to her somberly. “Be careful, Twilight.”
“Me? You’re the one about to go fight that, and she’s gone too.” Twilight brought her hoof to her forehead as Celestia joined her sister. “Okay, let’s see here. Gallus!”
The griffon guard immediately came to attention. “What do you need me to do?”
“Go into the city and grab as many guards as you can,” she instructed. “Keep everypony away from the castle until this has been taken care of. Let everypony know that I’m dealing with whatever this is personally. That and mention of Luna and Celestia’s involvement should help reduce panic.” Her expression was a stern one as she turned away from the raging colossus and looked to the screaming city behind her. “We can’t afford to have fear running rampant right now, not while I’m still trying to get a grasp on what in Equestria is going on here.”
Shining Armor stepped forward. “What about us? How can we help?”
Shining’s offer was met with evident hesitation from Twilight, but the steely, determined look that both he and Cadance wore as the pink alicorn stepped up to join her husband’s side caused Twilight to change her mind. “Shining, I want you to go with Gallus and help maintain a parameter. Your barrier spell ought make things much easier. Cadance?” She turned to the mare she was addressing. “Can you help me evacuate the castle? I could use the extra set of eyes, wings, and magic.”
“Of course, Twilight.”
“What about me?” Flurry Heart piped in. “Should I help Mom and you with evacuations? Or, what about Ms. Celestia and Ms. Luna? I can fight too, Dad taught me how to—“
“Absolutely not!” Shining Armor immediately interrupted. “Young lady, I didn’t give you those self-defense lessons and let you take up guard training so you could get hurt playing hero. You’re going to find a nice safe place to hide out until this is all over, and that’s the end of it.”
“What? You can’t be serious. I’m an alicorn too! I’m stronger, faster, and more magical than you’ll ever be, Dad.” Flurry turned to Twilight, her eyes wide and pleading. “Please, Twilight, let me help.”
The princess looked to her captain. “Gallus?”
“Another flier would definitely help, not to mention her status as a princess could help calm some folks down,” Gallus said after a second of self-deliberation.
Twilight nodded before returning to Flurry. “You heard him. I know it’s not as exciting as fighting a monster, but the best way for you to help right now is to try to restore order in the city. Listen to Gallus and your father, alright?”
The group scattered with one last shared nod as Shining Armor, Flurry Heart, and the guards charged back into Canterlot while Twilight and Cadance flew toward the castle entrance. The two alicorns found the courtyard largely deserted, save for a few stragglers, but as they continued deeper into the castle grounds, they discovered more and more wandering ponies, dazed and confused and in dire need of direction that Twilight and Cadance were more than happy to provide. A few they found had become injured in their rush, and their retreat required magical aid, either through teleportation or a gentle levitation.
“There’s too much ground to cover like this,” Cadance said as she helped an old butler rise to his feet and hobble towards the exit. “Should we split up?”
“Good thinking. Wait.” Twilight’s horn began to glow, and from it expanded a bright purple ring that spread to the furtherest corners. “Start with the west tower. Looks like there are creatures hiding on the third and fourth floor. One of them is in a broom closet.”
“Right. Be careful, okay?”
“You too.”
The two separated as they went in opposite directions. Bright flashes followed Twilight as she made ponies disappear and reappear a safe distance away, all while keeping an eye out for several specific creatures. Every time she thought she saw a blue feather or a pink mane, an old farmer’s hat or a coat of white, Twilight’s heart would skip a beat. She finally released her breath out of relief when after some time she came across Applejack and Fluttershy who were both helping a pony in a noble’s dress attire with what looked to be a sprained ankle.
“Thank goodness you two are alright,” Twilight gasped as she carefully pulled the two of them into a hug. “You, are alright, right?”
“Right as rain. Maybe a little winded, but nothing too bad,” Applejack assured, which Fluttershy supported with a nod. “You know what’s going on here? All I got was that there was that quake followed by that roar. Didn’t sound like any critter I’m familiar with.”
“Fluttershy? Did you recognize what it was?”
The pegasus shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure. I was so busy getting my birds under control, I couldn’t focus. It did sound like it was in a lot of pain though.” She frowned. “Maybe if we can solve whatever’s ailing the poor thing, it’ll leave without hurting anypony or causing any more damage.”
“Then we need to get to it before Celestia and Luna go too far,” said Twilight grimly. “Have you seen Spike? The monster looked dragonish. Maybe he can communicate with it better than the rest of us can.”
“Last I saw of him was in the kitchens when we were trying to figure out how all our sugar got swapped with salt,” Applejack explained. “Not sure where he stomped off to after that though.”
“Spike was with me earlier during choir rehearsal,” Fluttershy added, trying to raise a hoof while still supporting the hurt stallion, “but he went to talk to Pinkie Pie after one of her party cannons went off and spooked the sopranos.”
“Alright then, so where is Pinkie Pie?”
“Here is Pinkie Pie!”
The three mares turned to see Ponyville’s premier party pony approach wearing a light and airy pink bridesmaid dress, a relatively simple gown elevated by the decorative sapphires embroidered into the fabric in the shape of balloons. Hurrying behind her with her mane in almost as much a frazzled mess as Pinkie’s normally was and with a cushion stuck with pins strapped to her leg was Rarity.
“Good gracious, what in Equestria is going on here?” Rarity demanded. “We were right in the middle of fittings when all of Tartarus seemed to break loose.”
“And it wasn’t me this time, Pinkie Pie swear.” Pinkie held up one front hoof as she drew a X over her chest with her other. “All the magical explosives I got from Trixie are gone, Spike made sure of it. Sheesh. Hey, has anypony else notice how short that guy’s fuse has been lately?”
“Focus, everypony,” Twilight groaned, tiredly rubbing her forehead. “Right now we have some huge dragon monster attacking the castle. Celestia and Luna are fighting it right now, and if we’re going to have any chance of ending all this before things get too violent, we’ll need Spike. Does anypony, anypony know where he is right now?”
There was some noncommittal mumbling, some quiet mentions of previous sightings, and some shifting of gazes for a bit before every eye present found its way to Rarity. Rarity, upon realizing that all attention was now on her and what was being insinuated, huffed and brushed a loose strand of hair back into her mane.
“I’m very sorry to say that I, most unfortunately, have seen neither scale nor tail of my dear husband-to-be since we first awoke this morning. Not exactly something I appreciate being reminded of, thank you very much,” she added in a barely hushed whisper.
“Can’t you just locate him or call him over with some fancy-schmancy magic?” Pinkie asked Twilight.
“I could, but the locator spell needs time to calibrate before it can pinpoint a specific target.” Twilight gave the hall they were in a quick glance. “Is there a pen and parchment anywhere? I could send him a letter through his dragon fire, that should be faster.”
“Hold on now,” Applejack jumped in as she too looked around the area. “I think we’re still missing somepony. There’re only five of us here, by my count.”
“Ahem.”
“Ain’t counting you, pal,” Applejack said to the stallion leaning against her shoulder before she turned back to her friends. “Where’s Rainbow Dash? I know she needed to talk to Spike about something, maybe she knows where he is.”
The last word was punctuated by a sudden gust of wind following a blur of blue that zoomed by. Less than a second later, the blur returned and stopped right above the group as the rainbow maned pegasus hovered over them with a lightly lime colored stallion draped over her back.
“Oh hey, you’re all here. Great!” Rainbow Dash landed and let a trembling Sandbar slide right off her. “Saves me time trying to find all of you. So what’s the plan? Search and rescue? Or kicking flank and taking names? Please tell me we’re kicking flank and taking names, because I’m getting real sick of being everypony’s flying taxi.”
“I’m actually hoping to keep the flank kicking to a minimum if we can,” Twilight answered. “Do you have any idea where Spike might be?”
“Heck if I know,” Rainbow said with a shrug. “I flew off to cool off after he kept asking silly questions about my planned routine, like what’s the safest distance to be to see a sonic rainboom without being hit by the backlashing force or if those storm clouds for lighting effects were really necessary.” She rolled her eyes. “Like seriously, chill. I’ve been a Wonderbolt for a couple of decades now, I know what I’m doing. But yeah, no, I’ve got no idea where Spike is now.”
“Um.”
“Alright, fine. We’ll just have to do this without him,” Twilight said with a groan. “Fluttershy, see if you can communicate with the dragon and convince it to leave quietly. Rainbow Dash, go with her and back Celestia and Luna up in case things go wrong.”
“O-oh my.” Fluttershy took in a deep breath to steady herself. “I’ll do my best,” she promised more assuredly.
Rainbow threw her hoof up in a casual salute. “You got it.”
“Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity? You three are with me. Keep an eye out for anypony else who needs help getting out of here and any pen and paper lying around.”
“Uh, hello?”
“I still want to get a message to Spike if possible, but we don’t have time to waste. I just hope he’s somewhere safe,” the princess continued. “As soon as we’ve cleared this area out and regrouped with Cadance, we’ll join the rest of you and face that monster together, if it still wants a fight. Everypony understand? Ready? Good, then let’s—“
“Hey!” Sandbar exclaimed, hopping up and down with a hoof raised and waving. “Hello, hey? Yes, I’m here too.”
“Oh, right. Um, Sandbar,” Twilight said, struggling to keep her reluctance from showing as she was forced to turn her attention to him. “Why don’t you, help this poor stallion out of the castle?” she suggested with a gesture to the limping noble.
“Um, sure, I guess. But, uh, I meant I know where Spike is.”
“You do?” Twilight said, her focus now directed towards Sandbar undivided.
“Yeah. I mean.” Sandbar winced as he grabbed at the collar of his vest. “I think I know where he is. Or, you know, what he is.”
Expressions of relief turned to bewilderment. “Beg your pardon there?” Applejack said, vocalizing their collective confusion.
“Oh, yeah. Pretty sure he’s that massive dragon monster outside.”
The hall went quiet. One of the pins in Rarity’s cushion had gotten loose and dropped to the floor, its clattering audible by all present had there not been another great bellow, and this time, the howl was accompanied by discernible words.
”WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING PINK? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING PINK!”
The noble vanished from Fluttershy and Applejack’s shoulders with a sudden flash, and Sandbar let out an alarmed yell as he was scooped up into a magic floating bubble that was carried off as the six mares rushed out of the castle hall.
“Start talking, Sandbar,” Twilight ordered, her longer legs and increased worry putting her ahead of the bunch to the point where even Rainbow Dash with her wings was having a little trouble keeping up. “What happened?”
“Um, okay. So you know how Yona and I were here delivering the last couple of parts for Rarity’s wedding dress, yeah?”
“Yes, and I can’t thank the two of you enough,” Rarity interjected through gasps of breath as she ran. “You and Yona did a fantastic job. Truly wonderful. It’s everything l’ve ever dreamed of. I question whether even I could have achieved such perfection.”
Sandbar shuddered. “Y-yeah. Perfect. Great.”
“Hey, focus!” Twilight snapped. “Come on Sandbar, what about Spike?”
“Right, right, I’m getting to that. Anyways, we accidentally grabbed a couple of extra stuff that wasn’t actually meant for the dress. More for the groom and tuxedos, like bow ties and those flower pins.”
“Boutonnières?” suggested Fluttershy.
Sandbar clapped his hooves together. “Yeah, those. Anyways, I figured that since they were with me, might as well see if Spike had any use for them. The guy was in a pretty bad mood when I found him, but I thought trying on a couple accessories might help cheer him up.”
“Did it work?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Because boy, that dragon could really use some cheering up.”
“Didn’t get a chance to find out. I mean, Spike was pretty receptive to the idea, but when he tried to put on his suit, well.” Sandbar grimaced.
“What happened?” Twilight demanded once more. They were now outside and approaching the offending colossal who could be seen swatting away at the former diarchy in the distance, roaring as beams of dark blue and whitish gold bounced off its scaly hide.
“Well, the suit wouldn’t fit,” Sandbar explained. “His stomach was bulging out at the bottom and he couldn’t get the top buttons to fasten. Think I saw some tearing when he tried to force it.” Again the stallion shuddered. “I kind of made a weight joke, you know, just some teasing about the extra pounds he was packing, and boy I wish I hadn’t because he had this real crazy look on his face, like his eyes were both wide and narrow at the same time and had this creepy yellow color to them and he was hissing and growling.”
“Wait, he didn’t attack you, did he?” demanded Rainbow. “Is that why I found you all bruised up?”
“Huh? Oh, no. That was me tripping down a flight of stairs when I was trying to get out. Anyways, it looked like Spike was about to explode out of his suit, like I could see the whole thing ripping apart at the seams, and then he jumped out the window. Like bam, right through the glass.” Sandbar slammed a hoof into the other. “One second later, the ground was shaking, and I saw this huge eye staring back at me through the window. I noticed that the purple scales on the claws looked pretty familiar when he was trying to grab at things in the room, but I didn’t put it all together until I bumped into the rest of you.”
“Come now, that monster’s scales aren’t nearly as brilliantly purple as.” Rarity squinted and stopped herself with a frown. “Er, well, those wings are, I mean, that long stretched out face, with those big green, exotically beautiful eyes. Oh, alright, fine, I can see the resemblance, but surely we can turn him back from his current monstrous form,” she said with a beseeching look towards Twilight.
“Look out!” Rainbow screamed before the alicorn could respond, and everypony stopped and braced themselves as something smashed into the ground right ahead of them. Out of the small crater that resulted from the crash stumbled out Luna, her head rocking with dizziness and her body wrapped in a torn pink linen that might have once been a window curtain.
”PINK LOOKS HORRIBLE ON YOU! WE CAN’T USE PINK! I NEED A NEW COLOR, NOW!”
“Tis a difficult foe,” Luna mumbled as she dropped against the offered shoulder of Applejack.
“Well if that’s Spike, we can’t exactly beat him like a drum until he’s had enough and goes away,” Rainbow Dash noted with a frustrated glare. “So what do we do?”
Twilight set the bubble containing Sandbar down. “Is that everything?” she asked him.
Sandbar nodded furiously. “Yep, that’s everything. Hey, uh, just to be sure, this is one of those magic protective bubbles, or—“
There was a flash, and both the bubble and the stallion contained within disappeared. “Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, I need you two to keep Spike distracted while I figure something out, and let Celestia know who she’s dealing with so she’ll pull her punches. Can you do that?”
“On it!” Rainbow grabbed her fellow pegasus off the ground and shot off toward the raging beast with Fluttershy in tow.
”NO! NOT BLUE! THE BRIDE’S DRESS IS BLUE! IT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT!”
“Okay, let’s see here,” Twilight muttered as she started to pace, keeping her eyes on the apparently transformed Spike. “Let’s see. I feel like, no, I know this has happened before, when we were still living in Ponyville.”
Pinkie gasped. “It was the day after Spike’s birthday, when he got all greedy and grabby and growy.”
“Right, of course! That was it!”
“Hold on now, you talking about the time when Spike went around town taking other ponies’ stuff and getting larger?” Applejack glanced around and frowned. “Well those trees there still have all their leaves.” Raising a hoof to shield her eyes, Applejack squinted out towards the distance. “And I ain’t seeing a huge pile of stolen belongings anywhere. We sure this is the same thing?”
“From what Spike and I’ve gathered about greed induced bigness, it seems to be less about what the dragon has and more about how they feel,” Twilight explained, biting down on her lip as she watched Spike roar triumphantly at the neat bow he had just tied around the tower. “Spike must be experiencing an extreme overwhelmingly strong desire for something, something other than just material goods.”
“I’m guessing just letting him have whatever he wants isn’t going to work.” Pinkie hummed as she rubbed her chin. “I can’t remember, did assaulting him with cake help at all?”
”WHERE IS THE WEDDING CAKE?”
“Um, forget I said anything.”
“Well, I remember from last time Rarity was involved in whatever made him stop rampaging,” Applejack presented. “Is that what we need to do, have monster Spike kidnap Rares here and have her, I don’t know, sweet-talk him out of whatever this is?”
“Excuse me?” Rarity exclaimed with an indignant gasp. “Don’t go volunteering me as a damsel in distress so readily. I’ll have you know that one time was traumatizing enough. I lost a poor, defenseless cape in a horrific crime against fashion that day.”
“Applejack does have a point, though,” Twilight said with a thoughtful frown. “You were the one that helped him to return to his old self that day. It’s a good bet that you’d be able to do it again here.”
“Good enough of a bet to stake my very safety on?”
“Come on, that there monster’s going to be your husband in less than a week,” Applejack countered with a small smirk. “This is Spike we’re talking about here. No way in all heck would he let himself hurt you.”
Luna in her concussed stupor released a groan before letting her head drop back against Applejack’s shoulder. “Er, probably,” she added quietly as her grin faltered with lost confidence.
“Don’t worry, Rarity.” Twilight placed a comforting hoof over Rarity’s own. “I’ll be there too, ready for anything, just in case.”
“Oh, very well then,” Rarity said with a sigh. “Let’s go save Spike.”
With a final nod toward Pinkie and Applejack, Twilight and Rarity ran forward to where Spike was waiting. Neither Celestia nor Rainbow nor Fluttershy could be seen, but in his claw Spike held a bulging bedsheet through which the outlines of kicking legs and squirming equine forms could be spotted.
”MORE GIFTS!” Spike hollered as he tied the cloth closed.
Rarity swallowed and turned to Twilight. The alicorn gave her a supportive nod and a motion prompting her to continue. Taking a deep breath, she returned to Spike, doing her best not to overstrain her neck as she looked up at the giant standing over her. She cleared her throat. “Ahem, yoo-hoo. Spike, darling?”
The dragon stopped to glance down and saw the little white unicorn below. ”RARITY!” he exclaimed and caused the ground to shake as he dove down to Rarity’s level.
“O-oh.” Rarity swallowed again. Being so close to Spike’s face in his transformed state was more than a little unnerving. “So, I see you’ve been busy. Perhaps it’s time to, take a break and, wha-ha-ha!”
Claws curled around Rarity’s body as Spike stood back up, and she was suddenly lifted high into the air. She could see all of Canterlot and even make out the tops of Ponyville’s tallest structures from her new height, though with her heart beating with such force and tempo that it was a wonder the organ hadn’t bursted out of her chest, she was hardly in the state of mind to enjoy the view. Instead, Rarity’s focus was largely on the dragon holding her. The grip around her body was firm, but there appeared to be enough Spike present in the beast to at least keep the hold from being too tight and painful. An encouraging observation and one that supported Applejack’s last assertion.
A quick glance to the side let Rarity know that Twilight had successfully freed all three mares from the improvised gift wrapping. She had little time to dwell on the safety of her friends however as a second large sheet of white linen was dropped on top of her. ”WEDDING VEIL!” Spike roared as Rarity struggled beneath the cloth. ”HERE COMES THE BRIDE!”
Rarity felt herself move, and once she managed to throw the cloth off her head, her eyes widened and threatened to swallow up the rest of her face upon realizing just how close she was to Spike’s now massive maw. Just the tips of his teeth peeking past his lips were as large as her body, the sight of which incited a primitive and animalistic panic in her. Rarity’s futile struggling intensified as she drew closer and closer to those vast parting, puckering lips.
“Wait, wait, wait wait wait!” Rarity screamed. One of her hind legs had gotten free, and she propped it against Spike’s upper lip in an almost certainly useless attempt to maintain a bit of distance between herself and Spike’s mouth. Despite the incredible difference in physical strength, Rarity, much to her own surprise, drew no closer to the dragon’s mouth as her approach was abruptly halted.
”WHAT’S WRONG?” The very force of Spike’s words caused Rarity’s mane to whip back and her eyes to shut.
What’s wrong?” Rarity repeated. “Well, to put it bluntly, you.” She tried to gesture to the chaos behind her, to the fleeing ponies, the screams and cries coming from the city, the abandoned castle grounds, but her current position made the motion difficult. “Why are you doing this?”
Spike’s head tilted to one side, his confusion apparent. ”SO WE CAN GET MARRIED!” was his nearly immediate response. He started to pull Rarity towards him again as his lips again arranged themselves into a kissing position. Up went Rarity’s leg, once more wedging itself between the rest of her body and Spike’s mouth.
”COME ON!” Spike started to growl. ”WE HAVE TO KISS TO GET MARRIED!”
“Stop it, Spike,” Rarity gasped as she managed to get her other back leg up and on top of Spike’s puckering lips. “Spike, that’s enough! I don’t want to get married to you the way you are now.”
The world seemed to go still. Rarity no longer felt herself being forced forward, nor could she feel Spike against her hooves. The grip holding her in place appeared to have relaxed, giving her more room to move around. Slowly, she opened her eyes to find Spike’s own staring at her with liquid rapidly welling up in them. Those massive lips that she had been fighting so desperately were slightly parted, and the bottom half was beginning to tremble.
The dragon suddenly started to shake, and before she could react, Rarity found herself in free fall as the claw that had been holding her up drastically shrunk to a small fraction of its massive size along with the rest of the dragon’s body. With flailing limbs and an ear-piercing shriek, Rarity plummeted to the ground.
The painful impact that she was expecting never came as powerful limbs wrapped around her, and her rapid descent became a gradual float down. The sound of rushing hooves drawing close caused Rarity to open her eyes and see her friends running up to her, their faces a canvas displaying expressions of relief, worry, and triumph. A quick glance upwards confirmed her suspicions, and with a smile, Rarity grabbed hold of Spike’s neck and nestled into his broad, familiar chest.
“Oh Spike, my hero.”
She felt Spike’s entire body grow stiff. Wordlessly, the dragon removed Rarity from him and set her down and backed away. His gaze was averted, avoiding Rarity’s own and those of their gathered friends. Rarity extended her hoof and tried to reach out to the dragon, but at the gesture Spike took another step back, his shaking hand held up to his mouth.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I only, I’m sorry. I-I should go.”
Before anypony could stop him, Spike took off, ignoring the shouts and cries for his immediate return.
A small crowd had gathered before the shut door, with many more casting anxious looks at the door before hurrying off. Nervous whispers filled the corridor, interrupted by glares from those in front of the closed entrance, but only briefly as eventually, the crowd’s attention would return to the door, and the hushed words would continue in full force.
One particularly multicolored tail twitched restlessly as the pegasus attached to it paced restlessly before the room, her eyes glued to the door standing in her way. Every so often, she’d give her wings an impatient flap before turning and continuing her vigilant march, her frown deepening. Then, with a sudden frustrated groan, Rainbow Dash charged forward and slammed her front hooves continually against the hard wood, causing the surrounding stares to turn onto her instead.
“Argh! Alright Spike, we know you’re in there! Come on out already, before you make us bust our way inside!” she shouted over the sounds of her own pounding, which drew even more odd looks her way.
It took the combined efforts of Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack to pull Rainbow back. “Whoa, easy there,” Applejack said to the struggling pegasus before turning back to the door. “Listen, sugarcube, we get it. You must be mighty embarrassed right now. Heavens to Betsy, I know I’d definitely be if I were in your shoes. And sure, it wasn’t exactly your finest moment back there, but you know you can’t just sit around in that room, alone and moping.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie piped in. “I mean, yeah, growing into a super big and really mean version of yourself and terrorizing an entire city is pretty bad, but it’s not like you hadn’t done that before. Actually, wait.” Pinkie hummed as she rubbed the tip of her chin. “Does that make that better or worse?”
“What Pinkie is trying to say is that everypony, and dragon, makes mistakes,” Fluttershy quickly added to try and salvage the crumbling situation. “And yes, we should learn from our mistakes, but sometimes we need to learn a lesson more than once, and that’s okay. Please come out, Spike. Nopony here is angry, we’re just worried about you.”
“Yeah, worried and really gosh darned angry because of it!” Rainbow managed to get one last kick against the door. “Now hurry up and get out here so we can make sure you’re alright already.”
“That ain’t helping,” Applejack snapped. “You can’t just force him out.”
“Sure I can. Just watch me.”
“Wait.” Pinkie Pie suddenly released her hold over Rainbow, causing her to fall forward and land flat on her face. “Anypony else hear that?”
“What, the sound of my nose breaking?” Rainbow groaned as she lifted her head. Hers and everypony else’s ears perked and turned as they tried to pick up whatever it was that Pinkie Pie’s had detected.
“Um, I don’t hear anything,” observed Fluttershy in a low whisper. She looked to Applejack and Rainbow Dash who shook their respective heads and shrugged as they too failed to hear what Pinkie Pie apparently had.
“No, that’s just it.” Pinkie dug her hoof into her ear to try and clear it out. Her ear flopped around for a bit as she frowned. “It’s all quiet now.”
And indeed it was. The surrounding area that was once rife with whispered gossip had suddenly become as quiet as an abandoned library. They only had moments to ponder the new atmosphere before the silence was broken by the sound of heavy hooves clacking against the hard stone floor. The mares turned toward the direction of the footsteps and watched as the once whispering ponies lowered their heads and bent the knee as their princess walked by them. Following closely behind her was Rarity, doing her best to keep up with Twilight’s larger stride that came with the alicorn’s longer legs.
“How is he?” Twilight asked the moment she and Rarity joined the group. Her glance at the door was a worried one loaded with uncertainty. Her solemn expression grew all the more apprehensive as Fluttershy and Pinkie lowered their gazes to the ground while Applejack shook her head and Rainbow turned away and let out a disgruntled snort.
“Sorry, Twilight,” said Applejack. “He hasn’t said a peep, and nopony’s seen a scale of him yet.”
“I see.” Twilight walked up and knocked on the door. “Spike, are you there? It’s me, Twilight.”
There was no reply.
“Luna’s already back on her hooves, and she’s no longer upset about you saying she doesn’t look good in pink. Nopony else was badly hurt, and the damage done was all pretty minimal, it won’t take long or cost much to fix,” Twilight assured. “Canterlot’s calmed down after we explained everything, so you don’t have to worry about the city rising up against you or anything like that, okay? We have your back, all of us. Always.”
A jumbled and chaotic mess of affirmations came out from the mares beside Twilight in support of her claim. “You see, Spike? And it’s not just us. Shining and Cadance, Flurry Heart, Celestia and Luna, Mom and Dad, the ambassadorial staff, we’re all here for you. And that’s not counting all the countless ponies and nonponies across Equestria and beyond that you’ve helped me help, and nothing you did yesterday can take any of that away. Nothing’s changed. You’re still you, and we’re still your friends, so will you please come out of there?” Twilight pleaded, placing both a hoof and her forehead against the closed door. “Spike, talk to us, please.”
Again, there was no reply. Twilight let out a loud, frustrated sigh as her sympathetic expression changed to match more of Rainbow’s less patient one. “Well, will you at least thank Rarity for everything? She didn’t have to help me settle everypony down and explain the situation, not to mention helping me with all of your responsibilities that still needed to be done in your absence.”
A second passed before the door creaked open about a crack. Twilight looked to the rest of the group, and after a quick mental deliberation amongst themselves, they approached the door and slowly entered the room. The room, they discovered as they piled in, was largely dark, with the only light being whatever managed to seep through the torn remains of the curtains. A breeze blew through the broken window, briefly filling the area with sunlight that allowed everypony to spot the clumped up blanket seated on the messy and unmade bed.
“That was low, Twilight,” the blanket growled as a scaly purple face stuck itself out of it. Illuminated by Twilight’s magic, dark rings surrounding Spike’s eyes could be seen, and there was an unhealthy redness in them that competed with their natural green.
Twilight gave him an apologetic smile. “I know. Sorry, but you weren’t giving us any other ins.”
“Yeah, I wonder why,” Spike grumbled, retreating back into the blanket, like a tortoise and its shell. He sighed and peeked back out a moment later. “Thanks, Rarity.”
“It’s quite alright, darling,” Rarity assured with a warm smile.
“No, it’s not.” The comforter unraveled, and he tossed it to the side of the room. “Twilight’s right,” he said as he rubbed at his eyes and struggled to stand. “I should get back to work. Guess I’ve slacked off enough already.” A weak, mirthless laugh left him, and as it did so, Spike’s body appeared to deflate.
“Not remotely what I meant,” Twilight said, frowning as she pushed her assistant back into a seated position on the mattress with her magic. “Your head’s clearly not in the right place right now to be working.”
“I’m, well, I’m not fine, but I can still—“
“You can’t be serious,” Rarity suddenly interjected. She leapt forward and set a hoof on Spike’s chest, forcing him to lean back awkwardly as she glared at him scrutinizingly. “Look at yourself. I don’t think you bothered to bathe after that little incident, did you? All this dust and dirt still clinging onto those gorgeous scales of yours.” She tutted and shook her head. “Did you really go to bed in this state? And speaking of which, good gracious, it looks like you just got out of bed.”
A handkerchief was levitated up and onto Spike’s face and started its assault before he could begin to defend himself. “Ugh, you can’t seriously be thinking of stepping out in the open while looking like this.”
Spike tried to speak, but his words came out as an incomprehensible muffled mumble as the handkerchief continued to scrub mercilessly away at his face.
“You’ve been a public figure for a while now, I shouldn’t have to remind you how important your appearance is,” Rarity continued, poking at Spike’s chest. “Honestly. I do hope you’ll at least remember to look your best during our wedding.”
Spike finally succeeded in throwing off the cloth from his face which went from looking mildly annoyed at the sudden and unrequested fussing over to confused and anxious. “Wait, what?”
“Our wedding, remember?” Rarity said, her brow raised to add to the incredulity of her look as her handkerchief returned to tackle the dragon’s upper torso. “You know, the one happening in a few days? Goodness, that reminds me, it sounds like we’ll need to find you a new suit. It’s a little last minute, but I’m just about done with the bridesmaids dresses, so I should have time to make you a new one myself.”
“You, still want to get married? To me?”
Rarity blinked. Her handkerchief went still. “Well, of course. Why, what would make you think otherwise?”
“Well, it’s just that, I mean, you said.” The rest of Spike’s sentence trailed off as he turned away with a claw wrapped over the front of his neck.
Slowly, Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh, precious scales. I said I didn’t want to get married the way you were then, not that I never wanted to marry you.” She placed a hoof onto Spike’s cheek and gently moved his head so that their gazes met. “You weren’t you at that moment, but now?” Rarity frowned as Spike pulled away. “Spike, please, something is still very wrong here. My love for you hasn’t changed, but what about you? Do you feel any differently toward me?”
“What, no!” Spike’s head turned back to face Rarity so quickly, some in the room with them winced and grabbed at their own necks. “No, of course not,” he exclaimed. “I love you, with my every ounce.”
“Then tell me what’s going on,” Rarity begged as she cupped Spike’s cheeks, this time using both hooves to keep Spike’s gaze locked on her. “Whatever it is, we can work through it together.”
A good long moment passed in silence as the whole room held its breath, waiting for Spike’s response. “Okay,” he finally said after the longest five seconds. “Okay, just, give me a moment.” He ran a claw along the ridges of his head spikes and let out a long exhale. “Sorry. There’s just, a bit to unpack here.”
“Take your time,” said Twilight. “We’re ready when you are.”
“Okay. Well.” Spike took in another deep breath. “I just, really, really wanted our wedding to go, well, you know. Perfect.”
“Yeah, we kind of noticed,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.
“Ain’t anything wrong that, though you did take it a bit far with your micromanaging,” added Applejack with a small smirk. “Won’t lie, got on my nerves a couple of times.”
All the others save for Rarity, but even Fluttershy, nodded and spoke out their agreements to that sentiment. “So it must have been your incredibly strong desire for a perfect wedding that caused you to grow and go crazy,” Twilight theorized with a thoughtful nod. “I imagine all the stress that built up from trying to make sure every little detail was perfect didn’t help. You being unable to fit in your suit must have been the final straw.”
“Straws!” Everypony turned to Pinkie Pie in surprise as she clapped her forehead with her hoof. “That’s what was missing from the reception’s table settings.” Pinkie glanced around at the stares and odd looks directed at her. “What? Spike and I’ve been discussing that all week.”
Spike’s left eye twitched as he gulped down hard and tried to rise. Rarity forced him back down. “We can figure that out later,” she said sternly.
“But—“
“It’s a minor detail,” Rarity said, cutting off the dragon’s protest. “Something the wedding can and will survive without.”
Spike bit down on his lower lip. “And you’d be alright with that? With the wedding not being absolutely perfect?”
“I’d be marrying you, my love. How could it not be?” Rarity pressed herself against Spike’s shoulder and nested in the crook of his arm, which caused some of the group to coo and aw and others, namely a rainbow maned pegasus, to gag. “But what I don’t understand is why you didn’t come to me for help. If I had known the preparations were causing you to suffer so severely, I would have intervened immediately. You promised me you’d let me know if things were getting too difficult.”
“I know, I know, it’s just.” Spike winced. “I was worried.”
“Worried?” Rarity repeated with a look of confusion.
“Yeah. You were already so busy with your work, and I was afraid that if things weren’t going well you’d try to take control and get stressed and start feeling miserable and maybe possibly, I don’t know, start taking it out on everypony else.” The last few words tumbled out like torrent as Spike squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced, bracing himself for the fallout.
“Let me get this straight,” Rarity began after a moment, her tone calm and steady. “You were under the concern that the stress of the wedding preparations might cause me to lash out at others so you instead decided to take on all that responsibility entirely on your own, which resulted in you becoming so stressed that you grew into that massive greed monster and terrorized Canterlot for a solid ten or so minutes.”
Slowly, reluctantly, Spike opened his eyes. “Okay, I know it all sounds really bad in hindsight, but would it help if I told you that Discord was the one who put the idea in my head in the first place?” He attempted a rueful, disarming smile that withered in the presence of Rarity’s utterly deadpanned expression.
“A little, yes, I suppose,” Rarity conceded with a sigh as the others nodded and vocalized their understanding. “Still, I’m not entire pleased that you’d rather trust Discord over your own wife-to-be.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are, darling, I know.” Rarity patted Spike on the cheek before planting a kiss on it. “Well, what’s done is done. It’s a good thing we still have a few days before the actual wedding date. Why don’t we make the most of them and fix something out of this mess?”
Slowly, Spike’s mouth split into a nervous grin. “Together?” he ventured.
Rarity smiled widely and with all the confidence Spike’s lacked. “Together.”
She leaned forward for a second kiss, but as Spike brought his lips down to hers, Rarity recoiled and immediately withdrew, placing a hoof over the dragon’s mouth. “Er, perhaps you could brush your teeth first, dear. And, ah, about that bath.”
Another breeze blew through, filling the room with light once again along with the giggles that followed as Spike cupped a claw over his snout and winced at the stench of his own breath. Soon, Spike’s own laughter joined theirs, forcing out the previous air of awkwardness and dejection to make space for the good humor and affection that was quickly settling in.
Despite being beneath an arch and there being plenty of shady clouds in the sky, Spike couldn’t help but feel as though he was being cooked by the sun’s heat. He nervously reached for his tie to loosen it only to watch as his claw, weighed down by a magical purple glow that enveloped the appendage, was forcefully lowered.
He shot a quick glance behind him, to where the officiant stood. Princess Twilight Sparkle wore an elegant gown of light lavender, the color of a dawn sky, with sashes of dark, sparkling blue rolling from her shoulders and overlapping over her front that were held in place by a pin in the form of a six tipped star of violet. No crown adorned the princess’s head today, no tiara of gold or circlet of silver. Instead, the only accessory she wore in her flowing mane was a single white lily right beneath her right ear.
The same flower sat in the manes of the other seven mares who stood to the right of Spike and Twilight, each of whom wore a dress that shared a similar structure to the princess’s but with enough deviations in form, color, and decorative stitchings that they appeared to be unique tailored to their respective wearers. Joining Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Sweetie Belle were an amber gray earth pony mare whose light cyan and opal mane retained its subdued straight and simple styling and a noticeably taller, gracefully slender unicorn wearing her fiery mane in braids. Across from them, on Spike’s left, stood Big McIntosh, Shining Armor, and Discord, each wearing a vastly different suit, from Big Mac’s standard if slightly faded shirt and jacket combination to Shining’s red military dress uniform with all its tassels and polished brass buttons to Discord’s brown and blue checked waistcoat and wide brimmed hat with a feather stuck into it.
Spike's claw again rose to the collar of his dress shirt, and again Twilight's horn lit up as she forced his hand back down. "Stop messing with your tie," she hissed. "At this rate, you're going to end up making it crooked."
"Sorry, sorry." Spike cleared his throat and let his arms swing at his sides. His feet tapped against the grassy ground to some random and frantic rhythm in his head.
"Nervous?" Twilight whispered.
"Yeah," Spike squeaked out as his voice suddenly cracked. He quickly cleared his throat again. "How'd you tell?"
Twilight smirked and opened her mouth to speak, but a wave at the opposite end of the aisle they stood before interrupted the formation of her next snarky comment. Her expression became more serious, her smile losing much of its playfulness as it was replaced by something more sentimental, supportive, and even a little maternal. “It’s time, Spike.”
The dragon’s entire body went rigid as he turned to face the aisle’s end. “R-right. Um. Okay.”
“Spike.”
“H-hm?”
“Relax. Breathe. You’ll be fine.”
Spike took in Twilight’s advice along with a nice deep breath. His shoulders lowered slightly as a bit of tension left them. “Alright,” he whispered. “I’m ready.”
Twilight nodded and motioned to Fluttershy who stood at the end of the line of bridesmaids. At the signal, Fluttershy turned to the collection of posts and the choir perched upon them. The bright and cheery melody of a flock of songbirds filled the air as Rarity took her first step down the aisle.
As wonderfully made as the bridesmaids dresses had been, in Spike’s eyes, even combined the other mares couldn’t approach the beauty of the bride. Rarity’s blue white gown seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, the diamond patterns sparkling as if the actual gemstones had been embedded into the fabric. The single strap from the original design remained, with additional layers of silk tied over it and arranged into the shape of a flower, the same flower that Rarity’s bridesmaids were all wearing in their hair.
A large, familiar red ruby shaped like a heart hung against her neck, held in place by a golden clasp.
The eyes of so many, of friends and close business partners, of ponies from every tribe and status, from aspiring apprentices to experienced tailors to high end models to famed entertainers and celebrities, watched on as Rarity continued her approach, guided by a suited stallion whose mustache was quivering as he fought to contain his tears.
Representatives of every nation and species could be seen seated in the audience, adding their vastly varied eyes to the collective gaze following Rarity. There, awkwardly patting Thorax’s back as the changeling sovereign sniffed at the air hungrily, was Dragon Lord Ember. The queen of the hippogriffs sat a couple of rows behind along with officers from the seapony navy. A couple of members from the relatively recent Griffonstone council sat stoically by with their faces set without any apparent emotion, a stark contrast to one other particular griffon who watched Rarity with the largest grin on her arctic gray blue feathered face as she bounced excitedly in her seat. There were buffalo in ceremonial headdresses, yaks with their horns decked in gold, kirins on the brink of becoming niriks, zebras wearing large expressive wooden masks over their faces, and in one section a pair of diamond dogs delegates occasionally eyed their Abyssinian feline counterparts uneasily.
And of course, a few members of the School of Friendship’s first graduating class could be spotted in the audience, including the ones who had brought the dress Rarity was wearing so well into existence.
The rapid clicking of camera shutters some distance away might have been heard had it not been for Fluttershy’s birds. Guards stood between the ravenous paparazzi and the rest of the wedding, limiting their coverage.
To Spike, the world had slowed to a crawl as he waited for Rarity to join him. Again, he felt the urge to tug at his collar and tie, but he kept his claws to his side and instead placed his entire focus on the approaching bride. His throat tightened and became dried, and he had to swallow multiple times before feeling had been restored to his throat.
At the last couple of feet, Rarity’s father stopped to brush his lips against her forehead before he joined her mother in the first row of the audience, right next to the former royal sisters. Rarity continued the last stretch of her journey down the aisle alone, and before either of them knew it, Rarity was standing side by side with her groom.
The music slowly tapered off and faded as the attention turned to Twilight who smiled at the mare and dragon in front of her before turning to the gathered audience. “Friends, family, loved ones from near and far,” she said, her voice carrying across the entire meadow, “we are gathered here today to witness the joining of two hearts as one, to celebrate the formation of a bond that is as unbreakable as the love that sustains it. We are here today in support of this union and to share in the joy of Rarity and Spike as they elect to spend their lives together in harmony.
“Rarity, Spike, your marriage today will be a promise,” the alicorn continued, her gaze returning to the couple as she addressed them. “A promise to support the other in their time of need. A promise to share each other’s dreams and hopes, joys and achievements, but also their sorrows and their pains. A promise to comfort, to protect, and at times to rebuke, but above all, a promise to help the other grow. At times you may be called to be the other’s best of friends, their closest of companions. At times, you may be asked to provide something no creature else can.
“There will be times when you will make mistakes, times when you will stumble, but learn to trust your partner to help pick you back up. Life is never perfect, but we are stronger together than we are alone, and I have no doubt that the two of you will be able to overcome anything so long as you have the other by your side.” She looked to the mares on her right, then to the males on the left, then swept her gaze over the audience before returning to Spike and Rarity. “Never forget that you are never truly alone.
“Now Rarity and Spike, please face each other.” The two did as instructed, and Rarity placed her hoof into Spike’s open claw. “Rarity, if you would?”
Rarity, with her blue eyes locked deeply in Spike’s, gave her groom a small, tender smile. “I, Rarity, promise to take you, Spike, as you are. I promise that from this day forward, I shall love you and cherish you as your wife and partner, to be there when you are hurting, to stitch you back together when you are falling apart. To laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry. I promise to treasure you more than any gem, for to me, you are more valuable than all of the world’s diamonds.”
Twilight nodded and turned to Spike. “Spike, if you would?”
Spike’s mouth opened and stayed open for a good long second without anything coming out. He quickly cleared his throat, stretched his tongue, took a deep breath, and this time when he opened his mouth, the words flowed out like water. “I, Spike,” he began, “so do solemnly swear to take you, Rarity, as you are. I swear, on my honor as a dragon and all I hold dear, to treat you with respect, to shower you with love, and to be your shield against the storm. From this day onward, I swear to you that I will love and cherish you as your husband and partner. I offer you my all, my wings, my fire, my very breath, soul, and heart.”
Twilight returned to Rarity. “Then Rarity, do you accept and take Spike to be your husband?”
“I do.”
“And Spike, do you accept and take Rarity to be your wife.”
Spike nodded. “Yes. I do.”
There was another nod from Twilight as a huge grin split across her face. She turned to the suited trio. “Then may we present the rings?”
Big McIntosh stepped forward and reached into his jacket. His eyes grew wide, and he forced his hoof deeper inside. His face painted with panic, the stallion tried the other side before turning the jacket’s exterior pockets inside out as an awkward silence rolled over the ceremony. On the other side, Applejack could be seen planting her face into the center of her hoof.
The draconequus standing next to the struggling stallion coughed, and with a snap of his fingers, he produced a velvet box from his own pocket and handed it off to Twilight before returning to his position. Suddenly finding interest in a cloud above, Discord let out a whistle of innocence as he ignored the glare Big Mac was shooting at him. A couple of chuckles came from the audience that soon quieted as Twilight opened the box and the lid locked in place with an audible snap.
A pair of gold bands floated out of the box. “Let these rings represent the love and the vows upon which your union will be built. Though the gold here will one day decay, may your bonds remain as strong as they are this day, if not stronger.” The first ring found its way around Rarity’s horn as the second encircled one of Spike’s fingers. “Having pledged your hearts to one another before me and all your friends here today, I, by my power and authority, pronounce you husband and wife.”
Before Twilight could start to prompt them, Spike and Rarity were already locking lips. The audience erupted into cheers and applause, but to the newlyweds, the crowd and the noise might as well have been in a different, separate world. In that moment, all that mattered was him, her, and the perfect kiss they shared.
